EDWARD
Two hours later, we were running toward the meeting spot. We were still undecided on how we felt about Bella. We understood we were partly to blame because we left. We couldn't expect her to just sit and miserable without us. We all knew that she would move on and make other firends. Yet, at the same time we didn't expect her to become such good friends with wolves. It felt like a betrayal on her part. Granted, she probably considered our leaving a betrayal.
Don't get me wrong. We were all happy to see her happy. None of us wanted to destroy that. The months after our leaving were probably very hard on her. We were happy to see that she had gotten over our leaving. We were also sorry for whatever feelings we trudged up by returning.
In the end, Carlisle and Esme were ready to welcome her back with open arms. They understood Bella's choice more than any of the rest of us. Alice, Jasper, and Emmett weren't as willing to forgive. They were very hurt by what we found after all this time being gone. They felt like we were just thrown out like yesterday's trash. Alice took it as a personal insult. She felt like Bella was taking a step down from her. Rosalie hated Bella more. She seemed to think that Bella was going to play spy for them. She was convinced Bella had already spilled all the family secrets to our enemies.
I kept out of the discussion. I knew I had to make up my own mind about it. Bella did what she had to do to keep moving forward with her life. She needed to get past our desserting her. She just did what she had to do. I couldn't blame her for that. None of us could. I couldn't make the others see it though. They had to want to see it.
I wasn't going to hold any of this against her. If anyone should be blamed, it should be me. I convinced them to walk away. That's exactly why I wasn't going to hate Bella for being with the wolves. I just wanted to see her happy. If the mutt made her happy, I wasn't going to hold that against her. I just wish the others felt the same way.
The disgusting scent of wolf filled my nostrils as we approached the spot, ten minutes later. We slowed and approached the line, seperating the territories with caution. As we got closer, I noticed even figures walking towards us. I could already tell that Bella was one of them. I felt a stabbing pain in my chest when I noticed how tightly she was holding Black's hand. I fought a growl as the seven figures came closer spotting a little less than thirty feet from us.
I felt a pang of guilt when I saw Bella's face up close. She looked absolutely terrified. She was fighting back tears. She was worried of what we would think. I could see it in her eyes.
I heard a number of nasty thoughts from the wolves. Most were directed at me. I think half of them wanted to actually say these things to my face. I didn't disagree with any of the thoughts. In fact, I felt the same way about myself, especially after what I did to Bella.
BELLA
We got back to my house but Charlie's cruiser wasn't there either. I wondered where he was as I found the hidden key and let myself and Jacob inside. I walked to the kitchen to see if there was any sign that Charlie came home at all. I found a note on the table.
Bells,
Something came up. I had
to go into the station for a few hours. I'll be home before dark. And
I'll be bringing pizza. You probably want to spend more time with
Jake. I love you and I'll see you when I get home.
Dad
"What's up?" Jake asked coming into the kitchen.
"Charlie had to go to work for a bit." I said. "That makes things easier. I don't have to try to lie to his face."
Jacob smiled.
"You better get your shower." he said. "We have to walk a good distance into the woods. I know how slow of a hiker you are."
I laughed.
"I won't be long." I replied heading to the stairs. "Help yourself to whatever's in the kitchen and watch some T.V. if you want."
I had a feeling I was going to regret offering the food. Oh well, I needed to go grocerey shopping anyway. I went to my room and grabbed my toiletries then got into the shower. I made it quick because I didn't want to make Jake too late.
I walked back to my room when I finished. I was a nervous wreck about this meeting. I hoped the Cullens could forgive me. Or at least see things from my point of view. I wasn't sure what I should wear. I quickly ruled out blue because I knew how much Edward liked the color on me.
I decided on a pair of black jeans and a red t-shirt. I pulled a gray hoodie over top because it was a little chilly. I then slipped on a pair of boots and pulled my wet hair into a messy bun. After taking a deep breath, I walked down the stairs and told Jake I was ready.
He was in the kitchen and it was just as I suspected. Just about everything Charlie and I had left from my last shopping trip, two weeks ago, was gone. I gave him a death glare and he gave me an inoccent smile. I laughed and told him we had to get going.
We drove the rabbit to the edge of the woods and then began the hike. It tooks us a good fifteen minutes to reach Sam, Embry, Quil, Paul, and Jared. It took another half hour for us to reach the meeting spot. The others could've been faster if the didn't have to stop to help me. None of the complained about this though.
When the Cullens came into my line of sight, I grabbed Jake's hand and squeezed. He squeezed back with a little less force. I was terrified as I stared at my family. I wasn't even sure if I could call them that anymore. I wasn't sure I could even call them friends anymore.
I watched as Carlisle and Sam approached each other. The skipped right over introductions and went straight to business. Jacob had advised me to pay attention so I would know where I could go and still be protected. I knew, though, no matter how mad they were at me, the Cullens would never try to hurt me.
Which is why, instead of paying attention, I took inventory of the Cullens faces. I looked to Rosalie first. It was just as I expected, there was more hate on her face than anything I've ever seen before.
Emmett was next to her. There was a look of pain on his face that nearly brought me to tears. I don't think I've ever seen Emmett look that upset before. He's usually the comic relief of every sitiuation. No matter how serious.
Jasper was next. The look on his face was so much worse than the others. I knew he wasn't just dealing with his own sadness and anger. He had to deal with everyone else too. His grimace was so horrible, I had to look away for a minute.
Esme was standing a few feet in front of the others. She had the same motherly expression as always. I saw a small hint of sadness but she had a smile on her face. I smiled back at her. She had accepted my decision. I wasn't able to gauge anything in Carlisle's face. He was too interested in his conversation with Sam.
I turned to the last two faces. The two that I didn't want to see. Alice was next to Jasper staring at the ground. I think a heard a few sniffles coming from her. She didn't look up.
Edward was next to her. He had his arms crossed over his chest. I felt he was trying to push out a cool and collected demeanor. I saw right through it. I could see the pain etched all over his face. His eyes held anger and jealousy. He tried to smile at me but it came out as a grimace. I smiled back wanting him to think it was working. I didn't want him to feel guilty because his pain was causing me pain.
He had every right to be in pain. Here I, his ex-girlfriend, was, holding hands with another man. The other man happened to be his mortal enemy. I felt a little guilty about coming today. I didn't want to hurt him any more than I already was. I knew he had every right to be upset about this and I wasn't going to make him feel bad about it.
"Bella." Jake's voice cut off my thoughts. I looked at him. "Were you paying attention?"
"No, sorry." I said.
"Dr. Cullen and Sam need to know about your house." he said.
"What about it?" I asked.
"They want to know if it's neutral territory or if the Cullens should keep their distance." Jake explained.
"Oh," I said. I looked at their faces once more. Alice had finally looked up. I saw some hope mingled with the anger and pain on her face. O took a deep breath. "You guys will always be welcome in my home that is if you still want to be there."
"Okay," Sam said and turned his attention back to Carlisle. "That being said, I want to inform you that one of my brothers or myself will be patrolling her house every night. Nothing against you but we consider her like our family now and we don't want to take any risks with her."
"I completely understand." Carlisle replied politely. "And Bella, you're still welcome in our home."
I looked at the others again. Their expressions were telling me that only himself and Esme felt that way. I gave him a smile and nodded. I heard a low rumbling growl and looked in Edward's direction. He was staring at Jacob, rage all over his features. Carlisle looked back and scolded Edward quietly.
I looked at Jake.
"Be nice." I stated. "You know there's no chance of him getting me back."
"Sorry, I was just having a little fun." Jacob replied with a chuckle.
He sobered up when he saw the look on my face.
"Bella?" Sam asked. "Jake said you had something to say."
I nodded and released Jake's hand. I walked until I was directly between the two groups. Everyone's attention was focused on my. Something I was entirely uncomfortable with. I needed to say this though. I needed them to know that I wasn't the go-between nor was I willing to betray either side. I cleared my throat.
"I just wanted to make it clear to both sides that I'm completely one hundred percent neutral. All of you me a lot to me and I will not be but between you guys. I will not be a go-between and I will not give away secrets from the other side. I want you all to know that I can be trusted." I looked at the Cullens. "And I know you guys aren't to happy with me right now but I still do care deeply about all of you. I want you to know that just because I'm with Jacob now and have werewolf, it doesn't change how I feel about you. You guys will always be important to me. That's it, I guess."
Both sides nodded their agreement. I still wasn't sure how the Cullens felt about this. I could tell they weren't happy. I just didn't know if they'd ever be willing to forgive me. At least they now knew how I felt.
After I went back to Jacob, Sam and Carlisle wrapped things up and the two groups went their seperate ways. We reached the point where the others were going to go their own way and I realized I had one more thing to say.
"Sam, Jake," I said. They both looked at me. "I have one more thing I need to say. If the Cullens ever decide that they're going to forgive me or at least talk to me, I don't want body guards."
"That's not happening." Jake said.
"Why not?" I yelled. "They won't hurt me. I know that!"
"I won't take that chance!" Jake replied. "You mean too much to me for me to allow it."
"Wow, Jake! I never thought I'd see the day when you sounded like Edward."
"Don't compare me to that bloodsucker!"
"I need my privacy with them. If they know the pack is there then they'll think I'm betraying them. We won't have private time!"
"Jacob, she's right." Sam said. "No bodyguards when they're around Bella. You trust them with your life so we'll just have to trust them too."
"But Sam." Jake said.
"That's the final word Jacob." Sam replied in his alpha voice.
I heard it a couple times but it still terrified me.
"Thank you, Sam." I said.
"Let's get you home before Charlie gets worried." Jaocb said in a defeated tone.
We walked the rest of the way through the woods in silence.
"Are you mad?" I asked once we were in his car.
"No just worried." he replied.
"I told you, you have nothing to worry about. They won't hurt me and Edward has no chance of getting me back. I love you, Jake." I stated.
"I love you, too." he replied. "It's my perrogative to worry. "
I smiled at him. He grabbed my hand and all the sadness and anxiety of the meeting went away with that simple touch.
"I trust you and your judgement." he said after minute. "Just be careful."
"I will be." I said then pecked him on the check.
We pulled up to the house as Charlie was just pulling up.
"What did you kids do today?" he asked as we got out. He was carrying two large pizzas.
"Just went for a little hike." Jacob said as we walked inside.
Charlie, knowing Jake's appetite, handed one of the pizzas to Jake as I got plates and drinks. After dinner, Jake and I watched a movie together then he went home. I was so exhausted from the emotional overload of the day that I was out before my head hit the pillow.
A/N: I hope you liked. Not too much I have to say. Just remember the flying monkeys and click the review box.
