Guys, I mean it. If you're not legal, this is where your innocence comes to die. Ah, what the hell, if you've made it this far… don't say I didn't warn you!


Chapter 4: Falling Action

"Ugh," Marinette heard Chat's (Adrien's) kwami grumble from across the room, "humans. I will never understand the need to procreate."

"Which we are all very, very thankful for," Tikki sang lightly. Marinette covered her mouth with her hand, but Adrien chuckled outright.

"Can you imagine… mini-Plaggs?" he said, covering his eyes in horror. Then he suddenly froze and looked down at her. "Oh, shit—I didn't even think! We didn't use any protection!"

"It should be all right. I'm on the pill," Marinette offered softly, reaching up and stroking his hair back in an effort to calm his sudden panic attack. He took a deep breath and relaxed a bit, leaning into her touch.

"Still, I am so sorry," Adrien said. "I'll be prepared next time, I swear!"

Marinette smirked. "What? You mean you didn't come to my balcony with the intent of seducing me?" she gasped dramatically. "The nerve!"

"An oversight that shall never happen again, my lady," he promised solemnly, kissing her hand again. "I shall seduce you every chance I get from now on!"

"Ahem! I thought you two said you were done," Plagg grumbled. Adrien growled at his kwami, but Marinette just giggled and drew her hand away.

"He's right," she reminded her lover, "you did call him down."

"Fine," Adrien sighed, rolling his eyes. He sat up and rearranged himself more comfortably on her bed, raising an eyebrow at the giant cat pillow that still stretched out across her bed. "What's this? A rival already, huh?"

"You leave him alone," Marinette growled, tapping him on nose. "He's been here a lot longer than you have."

"You and I will talk later," Adrien told the helpless plushie, possessively pulling Marinette back into his arms. She dragged the covers up with her and arranged them so they were both covered and seated comfortably. Adrien kissed her hair and breathed in deeply.

"Okay, Plagg," Adrien said with a happy sigh, "tell us more about how we pass on our powers. Then my lady can make a plan for it and let me ravish her for the rest of the night." Marinette snorted and hit him lightly on the shoulder. He grinned at her unrepentantly. "Unless you tell me 'no,' princess, that's exactly what's gonna happen."

She shook her head at him, rolling her eyes. "Just pay attention so he doesn't have to explain it twice," she chided, tweaking his nose. "Otherwise, we'll lose more time for later tonight…."

"Go, Plagg. I'm all ears," Adrien said quickly, immediately focused.

His kwami scoffed. "What exactly do you need to know?"

"Uh, how to pass on our Miraculouses now that we can't use them anymore? Is there a ceremony? A magic spell? Do we just hand them back over to the Guardian?"

"Well, that's the thing…," Plagg drawled slowly. He and Tikki shared a conspiratorial look and a grin.

"You don't have to!" both kwamis exclaimed, beaming at them.

Marinette blinked. "But, Tikki, you said…."

"That you would lose your powers if you told anyone who you are," Tikki finished, nodding.

"Especially if I told Chat Noir," Marinette said, growing more confused by the second. She gestured to Adrien. "I told Chat Noir. What…? Tikki, did you lie to me?"

"Not exactly. And now that's it's been done, we can explain more thoroughly," Tikki said, settling herself in the covers in front of them. "You two are two halves of the same whole. Creation and destruction. Good luck and bad luck. Yin and yang."

"Yeah, we know all that already," Adrien said, also looking confused.

"What you don't know," Plagg said, "was that your powers were meant to combat each other as much as they are to support. You two could've easily become enemies instead of partners." Adrien and Marinette looked at each other in horror.

"But we didn't!" Marinette protested. "I could never—!"

"No way in Hell," Adrien breathed, wrapping his arms even tighter around Marinette.

"No, but a lot of past Cats and Bugs have been enemies," Plagg said, sounding sad. "Some of them even started out as partners, and then betrayed each other." Disgust washed over Marinette at the very thought, and she felt Adrien's grip on her tighten. She gave his arm a squeeze to reassure him. She wasn't going anywhere.

"Those were some of the hardest deaths to take," Tikki said mournfully. "So, when Plagg and I were reunited years ago, we decided to make a pact that we built into our powers. Our Chosen would no longer be allowed to know each other's identities. If they revealed themselves, they would lose the magic. If they told anybody their partner didn't know about; they'd lose the magic. We figured, that way, they'd be less likely to betray each other. And, for a long time, it worked. But, we knew each relationship and each couple was different, so we added a caveat: if a pair decided to give up their powers in order to be together, because they wanted to be together more than they wanted the magic, we would allow them to keep their powers and know each other's identities."

"A sort-of 'true love conquers all' thing," Plagg said, rolling his eyes and smirking at them. Marinette and Adrien looked at each other again. Adrien smiled and pressed their foreheads together.

"Which is exactly what we did," he murmured. Marinette gave him a quick kiss.

"But, Tikki," she said, turning away to look at her kwami again, "why didn't you tell us about that little loophole?"

"Because, if I had, it wouldn't have worked," Tikki said simply. "Part of you would have expected him to make the same sacrifice, and in the end, you'd both know you weren't actually giving up anything at all. Magic is all about intent, Marinette. You had to think that you were truly losing the Ladybug powers in order to be with Chat Noir. And he had to think the same. No promises or expectations from what might happen. Just a true showing of trust and love."

It took a minute for Marinette to process that. They'd both thought they were losing that part of themselves completely. And had done it anyway. For each other.

And apparently, that's what made all the difference.

"Very sly," she said, smirking at her kwami. Tikki winked back.

"It's all about keeping the balance between you two," the kwami sang. "And of course, now that you're older and you understand your powers better, there's a few other tricks we can teach you too, which should make it easier to communicate and make you both even more formidable on the battlefield. Unless, of course, you still want to give up your Miraculous. It's still entirely your choice."

Marinette looked up at Adrien, unsurprised to see him staring at her, his eyes gleaming in the low light of her room. She knew what he wanted. He wanted them to continue to be Chat Noir and Ladybug. Partners, for as long as they could be. He still loved being a superhero. He loved the freedom and power than came with it. The knowledge that he could make the world a better place. Even she had to admit it was wonderful and heady. But…

She turned in his lap, her hand reaching up to the middle of his chest to lightly trace the area where a giant tree branch had stuck out of him just yesterday. She took a deep, shuddering breath. Could she really go through that again? Even knowing she could be here for him afterwards? But before she could say anything, she felt his mouth by her ear as he buried his nose in her hair.

"There is no one in this world who I would trust more to save me," Adrien whispered fervently her ear. She blinked back some tears. She couldn't deny, she felt the same….

"And if I wasn't Ladybug?" Marinette asked softly. "Would you still love me then?"

"No," he said simply. Her eyes flew up to his, surprised at his answer. "Because then you wouldn't be you," he clarified. He gave her a smile. "You are Ladybug, princess, I was just too stupid and befuddled by glamour magic to see it before. It's part of who you are—who we are. I'm still gonna tell bad jokes and cat puns, even without the cat ears, and call you my lady, and princess, and Buginette, and Bugaboo, and LoveBug, until you're ready to strangle me with, or without, that yo-yo of yours." Marinette giggled.

"You are my Ladybug," he said softly. "And I have loved our time together. If you decide to retire, that's your choice and I'll respect it. But please don't say you're not Ladybug anymore. And please don't ask me to try to forget that part of my life. You'll never not be my Ladybug. The new girl can figure out a different name or something."

"You silly cat," Marinette laughed, pulling herself up under his chin. "What made you think I wanted to forget everything that's happened between us?"

"You were acting like you never wanted to hear the name Ladybug again, asking me if I'd love you without that part," he muttered mournfully. "I was already ready to give up my powers with you… what more do you want?"

"Oh, Chat, I'm sorry," Marinette said softly, guilt flooding her. "I didn't mean to make you feel that way. That came out wrong. I just—I guess I wanted some reassurance is all. That Marinette is still enough. Just Marinette. I've wondered for a while now… if you've only loved me because I'm Ladybug. The superhero with the powers."

Adrien frowned at her for a moment.

"Yup," he said decisively, nodding. "Yeah. You're right. I've only been in love with your powers. Not you." Marinette's jaw dropped.

"Tikki," he called over to the kwami, "you're the source of the Ladybug powers, right?" Tikki nodded, cocking her head at him questioningly. Adrien held his hand out to her and tossed his hair dramatically. "Oh, beloved, tiny goddess of spots and good luck—"

Plagg hissed at him. Tikki started giggling.

"—it is you I've been dreaming of these past few years. You, who have filled my days with light and my nights with joy. Despite the (admittedly-beautiful) girl beside me, I confess, I do love you with all my heart—"

Marinette smacked him on the shoulder. Adrien just grinned at her and continued.

"—will you be mine forever?" he asked, looking every bit as cheesy as his words. Marinette was pretty sure, if this was an anime, he would be sparkling right now.

"Oh, for crying out loud," she muttered.

"Oh, dear, sweet Chat Noir—," Tikki began, sounding just as cheesy as Adrien, her eyes twinkling with mirth. She was immediately grabbed by Plagg from behind.

"She's spoken for!" Plagg hollered, wrapping his tail around Tikki's mouth and glowering at his Chosen.

Still giggling, Tikki managed to escape Plagg's grip on her. "Sorry, Adrien, you're too young for me!" she chirped, back to normal. Adrien pouted.

Marinette sighed. "Fine, fine, point taken," she said. Adrien grinned at her. "I know. I'm—I'm being silly. This is all so—it's a big decision, you know? I thought I had it all planned out, and now…." she shrugged.

"Now, we can have everything we want, and more?" he asked hopefully. She swallowed.

"Now I have to decide if I still want to be on the battlefield again," she corrected him.

"If it's any consideration, you look amazing in spots," he grinned, wiggling his eyebrows. Marinette snorted.

"I don't know if the TV anchors agree with you…," she said, rolling her eyes. Adrien frowned and gathered her in his arms.

"I'm serious, Mari. Just say the word and the whole building goes bye-bye."

She laughed at the idea for a moment before taking a deep breath so she could think this through.

"What about our friends and family?" she asked, looking at both him and the kwamis. "They'll be in more danger now that our identities aren't as secure…."

"What, from one person knowing?" Adrien scoffed.

"It's still more than none," Marinette muttered. She blinked. "And what if the akumas suddenly realize just how much we mean to each other?" she asked, her panic growing. "I mean, if you suddenly start making out with me on the rooftops—hey, stop licking your lips, you stupid cat, I'm serious here!"

"So am I," he snickered. "This is the best plan you've ever come up with! Please continue!" He sobered a little when she continued to glare at him. "Okay, okay, so nothing changes between us in public," he said placatingly, sighing. "Can we at least drop hints to confuse and distract the reporters? That'll get them off our backs at least."

"That might work," Marinette agreed slowly, thinking. "But it won't help with our akuma problem."

"Actually, now that you two aren't maturing anymore and we don't have to worry about tampering with your growth, Plagg and I can help teach you two some mediation techniques to keep your minds concealed from the enemy," Tikki chimed in. "Even if you're captured, you shouldn't… have to… ummm…." She trailed off as Marinette slowly turned her head to fully glare at her kwami.

"You had this ability… to shield our minds from an enemy that literally senses emotions," the girl growled slowly, "and you never mentioned anything until now?"

"You were too young before!" Tikki squeaked. "Having a younger Chosen means that you'll adapt to the power sooner, which means you'll get even more powerful as you go, but it also means we could potentially harm your growth if we give you too many abilities all at once!"

"Don't give me that look, kid," Plagg growled beside his mate, glaring back at his own Chosen. "We're doing it all for you."

Beside Marinette, Adrien lowered his own death glare from the kwamis, sighed and nuzzled her neck. "Can't change the past, Bugaboo," he reminded her.

"What else have you two been hiding?" Marinette asked the kwamis. They looked at each other and shrugged.

"A lot," they said together.

"Tikki, you and I are gonna have a talk…," Marinette warned.

"But not tonight," Adrien quickly added, pulling her closer. Marinette twisted in his arms to tell him she needed to yell at her kwami, dammit— But she was cut off when she felt his lips on hers again; soft and warm and oh, so wonderful. He pulled back and grinned at her. "Tonight you're all mine, remember?" Out of the corner of her eye, she saw him shoo the kwamis with his free hand.

"Hey, wait, no… bad kitty!" she protested, lightly smacking his wandering hands. Adrien whimpered at her. "We are having a serious, grown-up conversation about serious, grown-up issues—CHAT!" she yelped as he nosed a sensitive part of her neck.

"Yes?" he asked innocently.

"See, see! This is why it's not gonna work! You can't distract me like this on the battlefield! You'll get us both killed!"

Adrien pouted.

"Ugh, the kid's been fantasizing about you for years," Plagg drawled. "Just let him get it out of his system and things'll be better than ever. Then he won't be distracted on the battlefield either!"

Marinette gaped at the kwami for a moment before slowly looking at her partner.

"Plagg, remember how we had that conversation about talking too much?" Adrien groaned.

"Actually, he has a point," Tikki chimed in, looking at the two. "It's happened before, when other partners got together. After the initial… erm… 'honeymoon' is over, our Chosen don't usually have a hard time separating their personal lives from the battlefield. You know, once they got it out of their system."

"Honeymoon, huh?" Adrien said, waggling his eyebrows at Marinette and pulling her closer again.

"Don't get any ideas, you," she warned. "I'm not marrying you until I've at least landed a job!"

"Just so long as it's still on the table," he grinned, pushing her back down on the bed. "So for now, gratuitous fornication? All for Paris's sake, of course. We have to get past these raging hormones to be our best on the battlefield, after all." He nodded at her solemnly. "The immortal gods that power our suits suggested it themselves!"

"Why, you shameless—!" Marinette howled with laughter as he gently lowered himself on top of her.

"Ah, geez, get a room." They could almost hear Plagg's eyeroll.

"Plagg, we are literally on a bed, in a room," Adrien pointed out.

"Whatever, I'd better get more cheese."

"I already promised you more, now go back to wherever it is you hide to save your innocent kwami ears!"

"Innocent?" Plagg scoffed as Tikki slowly pushed him away, snickering. "Oh, please. You think you're the first Cat to fantasize about her yo-yo?"

"Wait, WHAT? My yo-yo?"

The exclamation burst out of Marinette before she could stop it. She could hear Plagg's snickers fading away as Tikki tugged him away. Above her, Adrien flushed dark red and looked away from her, rolling over to try to hide under the covers.

"Seriously?" she asked, surprised. She grabbed the covers tight so he couldn't hide under them. Adrien groaned and covered his eyes with both his hands.

"He's an idiot and he's lying and let's-not-talk-about-this-anymore," he said quickly.

"No, let's," Marinette smirked, following him and observing his blush was spreading. Oh my, how cute. "Is this why you want me to keep being Ladybug?"

"Of course not!" Adrien exclaimed. "It's just a… a perk!"

Marinette covered her mouth to hold back her snickers.

"What kinds of dirty thoughts were you having, mon petit chaton?" she asked slyly. He closed his eyes and sucked in a breath. She raised an eyebrow. "Chaaaaat?" she pressed teasingly.

He gulped. "Did you know you have a very commanding Ladybug voice?" he asked, peeking through his fingers. "And I've seen you do some amazing things with that yo-yo… that, yes… I may have wondered what it felt like."

She studied him for a moment before bursting out laughing.

"So, even though I don't have a thing for bondage and pain, it looks like you do, huh?" she teased.

"It's not a thing!" he protested, looking chagrined. "And no, not pain, I just…," he took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "I've just been locked up in my house for a long time with nothing but my imagination and the Internet, okay?" Marinette barely managed to smother her laughter with her hand.

"And a huge crush on Ladybug?"

"Exactly," Adrien said, nodding. He looked at her sideways and started twiddling his fingers nervously. "And, in my lonelier moments, I may have thought about our suits and weapons in ways that were not strictly safe for work," he confessed, wincing. This time, she buried her face in the pillow behind her to muffle her laughter.

"No, just no," she finally gasped out. "I have seen you stick that baton in some nasty-looking monsters, kitty. It's not going anywhere near my sensitive bits!"

He considered for a moment and then laughed, covering his face with his hands again. "Okay, fair enough, I didn't really think that one through."

"In fact, I don't think I'm going to be letting you do anything to me in that suit," Marinette said, thinking.

"What?! I can be careful!" Adrien protested.

"Your transformation phrase is literally, 'Claws out,' Adrien," Marinette deadpanned, taking his hand and playing with his fingertips. "And I have seen you dig into metal with those things."

Adrien laughed. "Right, like your unbreakable yo-yo string is any better."

"True," she acknowledged with a shrug. "Though what you expect me to do—you know what, don't answer that. I'm not ready to try it. Not just yet."

Adrien blinked at her in surprise. "But before, you said 'no' outright. And that's okay! I wasn't gonna push it—but, now you… might be willing to try it sometime?" he asked, looking tentatively hopeful.

Marinette thought about it for a moment. She'd never really thought much about kinky stuff before; the idea of handing over control like that; it was part of the reason she'd dismissed any sort of spicy ideas when she'd first started trying to discover what she liked. But if it was Chat… well, she knew she could trust Chat. She trusted him with her life on a daily basis. And she was pretty sure that if she said no to anything, he'd accept it and move on… Like he had before. (In fact, that might be why he was blushing so much now, because she'd already said she wasn't into it and then Plagg went and outed him like that…) But the suits were a big part of their lives, and their relationship, so she couldn't really blame him for wanting to explore it a bit.

"We'll see," she finally agreed . "For now, let's take it slow. Besides… the suits? They don't really come off."

"Well," he said slowly, looking at her from the corner of his eye, "Only partially… I have a zipper on mine. Do you?"

She shook her head at him. "Haven't found one yet."

He looked at her appraisingly. "Note to self: feel up Ladybug to make sure she didn't miss an invisible zipper somewhere."

Marinette laughed and shook her head at him. He grinned at her.

"You know you'd enjoy it," he said winking.

"Maaaybe," she conceded. "But there's still a hard 'no' on that baton near my nether parts, tomcat."

Adrien snickered at her. "But you don't mind the other extendable baton, right?"

"Oh my God," Marinette groaned, covering her eyes. "You did not just call it that."

"Oh, she blushes!" Adrien cackled. "Well, if you don't like that name for it, maybe I can think of some others for you?"

"Don't you dare, Chat," she grumbled, already knowing it was a lost cause.

"My dick? My cock? My manparts? My looong dooong?"

"Ugh, stoooop," she moaned.

He snickered evilly. "My wang, in Cheng?"

"That's it, I'm going to murder you."

"Oh, I can feel it!" Adrien said dramatically, as her hands made a half-hearted effort to strangle him. "Death is coming! Death is cumming! It's almost there! Hopefully it doesn't cum before she does!"

"Oh geez. Why do I even put up with you?!" Marinette exclaimed, drawing her hands back. He caught them in his own before they could slip away entirely.

"Because you love me," he said simply, his eyes glowing with happiness.

"A fact which you're going to fully exploit each and every time you can now, right?"

"I always knew you were the smart one," he smiled, leaning over to give her a soft, long kiss.

"You're going to be the death of me."

"I'll try to make it a little one."


A/N: Chicken arises from the dead with less smut and more baaad jokes! BTW, if you don't get the last one, it's okay. I'll explain it. The French word for an orgasm is "le petit mort," or "the little death." A fact which I have enjoyed ever since I learned it. Hee hee. Language lesson over.

One more chapter is this, I dunno when I'll be able to get it out, though. I'll try, my lovies. I'll try.