Chapter 34: Death Lives

Opening Credits

It seems today that all ya see

Is violence in movies and sex on TV

But where are those good, old-fashioned values

On which we used to rely

Lucky there's a Family Guy!

Lucky there's a man who

Positively can do

All the things that make us

Laugh n' Cry

He's

a

Fam

-ily

Guy!

End

We join the Mallque/Griffin family watch television of TV show skit.

Now Family Guy presents a semi educational moment, everyday French with Pierre escargot!

Featured Frank G Mallque Jr, sitting in a bathtub filled with suds, wearing a rain coat and matching hat and swimfins on his feet. In the sketch, Frank G Mallque Jr as Pierre Escargot would take a break from whatever he is doing (like playing an accordion or pretending to drive a car), say silly phrases in badly-pronounced French, and then translate them in English.

"Hé, arrêter de lécher mon kangourou! Hey, stop licking my kangaroo!"Pierre said while laughing.

"Embrasse-moi sous l'arbre de Bologne. Kiss me under the bologna tree." Pierre said while laughing.

"Puis-je faire une sieste dans le nez? May I take a nap in your nose?" Pierre said while laughing.

"Comme l'yogourt, j'ai des fruits sur mon fond. Like yogurt, I have fruit on my bottom." Pierre said while laughing.

"Je n'ai pas douchés en 36 jours. I have not showered in 36 days." Pierre said while laughing.

"Hé, pourquoi vos fesses parle? Hey, why is your butt talking?" Pierre said while laughing. Now back to our pre scheduled program.

News bulletin music

"A tragic accident today in the North Providence area. A family of four lost their lives when their minivan swerved off the road and into a ravine, exploding on impact." Diane Simmons said.

While Tom Tucker was snickering about something.

"Do you find this funny, Tom?" Diane Simmons said as she annoyed.

"No, no, no. I was remembering, I accidentally put my shirt on inside out this morning. It's fine now, though. So, so, what were you saying? A fashion show?" Tom Tucker said as he is trying to excuses himself.

Now back to the family.

"Meg, Chris, John and Tyler turn the TV off. We gotta find an anniversary gift for Mom and Dad." Persephone said as she brought her shopping magazine.

"Don't look! We're shopping! We're shopping!" Chris said as he try to hide the magazine from Lois.

"Yeah, grandma! We are looking for shit dang!" Frank Jr said like a gangster.

"Oh, kids, you don't need to do anything special for our anniversary. Just your father." Lois said.

"I hope he doesn't wait and get your gift at the last minute again." Meg said.

Cutaway

Lois is sitting at the kitchen as Peter gives her a present.

"My goodness! A human thumb. Where did you ever find this?" Lois wondered.

"It was on eBay. (vomits) Oh, God! Call an ambulance!" Peter puked as his right hand is covered with blood.

Cutaway Ends

"This year, instead of exchanging gifts, I told him it would be nice if we could just spend a romantic day together." Lois said.

"Oh, dear! I think we all know what that means." Stewie said while imitating spring.

"Gross." Frank Jr said.

Meanwhile at the drunken clam while Cheery instrumental music was playing in the background. Frank, peter and the gang were drink until Quagmire comes in.

"Hey, fellas! Guess what? I got us a tee time tomorrow at Barrington Country Club." Quagmire said as he take his seat.

"Barrington? Wow!" Cleveland and Menma said in surprised tone.

"I'm in." Peter said as he getting ready for tomorrow.

"Uh, Peter, tomorrow's your anniversary." Brian said throwing off peter buzz.

"Aw, crap! If Mom finds out that you ditching her to play golf, she'll hit you with a frying pan." Frank said.

"Which is why I'm gonna drink this frying-pan antidote." Peter said as he take out a green fill veil that contains the frying-pan antidote. He drinks the antidote as he pass Frank, the frying pan to his hand.

"All right, hit me with this." Peter said as Frank hits him with said Frying pan.

"Didn't work." Peter said as he faints fall to the ground as the table breaks with him.

As Birds singing at the Mallque/Griffin House, Peter wakes up from bed as he takes Frank Jr from Lois embrace to wake up John, tyler and Frank to help make a in bead breakfast. Then he returns with a tray of breakfast cereal with a note, so he sends Lois on a scavenger hunt to stall his family. As he leave Lois move the covers as she hears tray fall.

"What the hell?" Lois said as she reading aloud her note, "Lois, it's an anniversary scavenger hunt. Your first clue is at the Quahog Mini-Mart. Love, Peter. Oh, how fun!"

As Cheery instrumental music at Barrington country club as everyone was playing golf.

"All right, gentlemen, before you tee off, here are your complimentary monogrammed bag towels, a sleeve of balls, and this mobile ball cleaner." Manager said as the caddie put the ball in his mash to wash it with swooshing and squeaking sounds, then he ran up to peter with the clean ball.

"Clean as a whistle, sir." Caddie said as Frank Jr begin to freak out by the caddie bean in his face.

"I'm not gonna get short by touching your spit, am I?" Peter asked.

"You'd be the first, champ." Caddie said as he does a back flip out the scene as Cleveland, Menma and Lorretta arrived.

"Well, it's about time." Frank said as he question Menma and Cleveland for being late.

"Sorry, fellas. I'm not gonna be able to play. Loretta's mother is in town, and we have to go buy new sheets for the dog bed." Menma said in snarky tone mean that his mad at his Step mother.

"Cleveland!" Loretta shouted at her husband to make Menma stop insulting her mother.

"He mean, the pullout sofa bed." Cleveland said as he corrected what Menma said.

"Cleveland, this is Barrington. You could be the first black guy ever to play this course. People are gonna be impressed." Peter said as two guy walk by to see Cleveland on the field.

"Hey, a black guy!" Golfer 1 said.

"Fun!" Golfer 2 said.

"Come on, you two." Loretta said as she drags both Menma and Cleveland off the field.

"Maybe we should play another time." Brian said as he notice the weathger.

"Screw that. I busted my ass keeping Lois busy so I could be here. Now, let's grip it and rip it." Peter said as he made swing at his ball and it was a hit.

"The Fed will be lowering rates, get your money out of T-bills and put it all into..." Golfer said until he was hit by ball. "Waffles! Tasty waffles with lots of syrup!" as we move at Wall Street.

"Waffles! Buy waffles!" Broker said as to everyone to buy waffles.

"Waffles!" All Brokers shouting including the Asian brokers.

Meanwhile at the quahog mini mart

"Okay, kids. Keep your eyes peeled for a clue." Lois said as she and the Griffin twins look around while Chris and Stewie read an Archie comic book featuring the character Jones Jughead.

"Now what Jughead has done here, and it's really quite ingenious actually, is paint pupils on his eyelids, so he can sleep through class without Miss Grundy being any the wiser." Stewie said as his point at picture of Jughead.

"He's sleeping." Chris said as he laught at the comic while tyler appear at random looks at the comic and just said "Meh".

"Mom, I found Dad's first clue." Meg said as she and Persephone pass the clue note to Lois.

"I can't believe your father organized this. Usually he can't even handle simple tasks." Lois said.

Cutaway

We see Stewie walking around the living room n-aked as Lois sees a diaper in the lamp socket.

"Peter, why is there a diaper in the lamp socket?" Lois asked.

"Lois, he's done it again! Wait a minute (exclaims)" Stewie laughs as a light-bulb was up his butt and when he picks his nose, the light bulb shines.

"Awesome!" Frank Jr shouted as he saw what Stewie did.

Cutaway Ends

We cut back to Barrington country club as it is rain and everyone was getting wet.

"Let's pack it in already!" Brian said.

"There's too much water out here." John and Tyler said.

"Yeah. Let's hit the bar, huh?" Quagmire said as he and the boys pack up their clubs to go into the club bar.

"Come on. There's worse things in life than rain. Like uh, like spiders." Peter said as he make a cutaway to make an excuses.

Cutaway

"He's behind the door" a spider said as it is smoking a cigarette.

"(coughs) Peter, Frank Jr, he's bothering everyone. Say something" Lois demanded.

"Say something? I'll kick his a**." Frank Jr mumbled.

"Someone ought to kick his a**" Peter mumbled.

"Don't go in there!" the spider shouted.

"Peter and Frank Jr!" Lois shouted.

"All right. Give me a Kleenex" Frank Jr suggested as Lois gives him a Kleenex from her purse.

"I knew he was bad. I knew...(screams)!" the spider was pinched to death by Frank Jr's Kleenex.

Cutaway Ends

"Out of me way! They're after me Lucky Charms!" Caddie said as he ran away from the field.

"I paid him $10 to say it. Classic." Quagmire said as he and the boys laught at that bit.

"We'll be in the clubhouse." Brian said as he and Quagmire walk away while Frank, Frank Jr, John and Tyler waited for Peter to give up already, which he didn't do.

"Go on, run away! More golf course for me!" Peter said as he continued to play until lightning stucks a tree and breaking it half way.

"That was close." Frank Jr

"That looks dangerous." John and Tyler said.

"Somebody's gonna get hurt." Frank said as he pulls out his belt and give his to peter as he was trying to make the tree fall down the other direction.

"It'll be fine." Peter said while straining until Frank, Frank Jr, John and Tyler were struck by lightning. Then Peter has a near-death experience in which Death appears in a Magical instrumental music playing in the background

"You again?" All people BOTH said.

As Mysterious instrumental music playing peter raise from his body while Frank, Frank Jr, John and Tyler just woke up fine.

"Death, please, don't take Grandpa now." Frank Jr said as he begs.

"Relax. Your grandpa is not dying. He just having a near-death experience." Death said.

"Thank God!' Peter and the boys all sigh in relief.

"Yeah, thank God. Thank God I get to hang out with a fascinating gent like yourself!" Death said as he plays golf while explaining that he is not happy to see peter.

"So, when am I gonna die?" Peter asked death.

"About two years after your wife divorces you." Death said as he slice the ball by hit farther than anyone could in the history of this sport.

"What the hell are you talking about? Lois would never leave me. She's been crazy about me since the night we met." Peter said as Death takes Peter back in time to his courtship of Lois.

As Sweet instrumental music was playing, we see a Young Peter and Lois walking around the park at night while Death, Peter and the boy were hiding in the boshes.

"My God, that's Grandpa! Look how thin he was!" Frank Jr said as he looks at his Grandpa younger self and Lois waking into the night while looking at the stars.

"My, this is certainly a beautiful night. I love looking at stars." Lois said as she looks at the stars.

"Say no more." as he undid his shirt to show his belly.

"Peter, wait. I..." Young Lois said trying to stop peter.

"Very interesting. But stupid." Young Peter said as he trying to impress Lois by using his stomach to imitate actor Arte Johnson.

"Oh, my God! I love Arte Johnson!" Young Lois said as she giggles at the bit with John and Tyler laughing at the Background.

"Why don't you give him a kiss?" Young Peter said as he is pushing his arte Johnson tummy at Lois to make her kiss it.

"Peter, get away from me." Young Lois said as she is still giggles while trying to get away from the arte Johnson tummy.

"Come on." Young Peter said as he is still pushing his arte Johnson tummy at Lois to make her kiss it.

"Stop it." Young Lois said while running away into a meadow while peter chase her

"Give Arte Johnson a kiss." Young Peter said as he still chase her until he tackle her as they roll out of the meadow while they Both are laughing. As they reach the freeway and now they make out.

While a trucker was drive his truck, he was listing to Peter Frampton's "Baby, I Love Your way" playing on radio.

"Oh, my God!" Trucker said as he notices Peter and Lois making out on the road. So he turns the Truck around until it crashing. While the Music continuing on radio.

"Peter, I hear music." Young Lois said

"Yeah. Me, too. From now on, this'll be our song." Young Peter said as Driver groaning at his survives. While Peter and Lois are still making out. Until the tank of the trunk exploded as the top of the trunk lands on the Driver.

"I've never met a guy like you. You're so full of life." Young Lois said as she went back to peter for second smooches. While the Driver screaming as wolves are starting to eat his legs.

"It's like I can really be myself with you. I'm so happy." Young Lois said as she went back to peter for thirds on smooches.

"Man! That was beautiful, Pops." Frank said as he and the boy were crying at that romantic moment.

"but man, it was a little dark if you ask me!" John said as he blow his nose with a tissue.

"Say, this looks awfully familiar. Wait a second! I remember this! That's me! Look at all that hair. I can't believe I thought that looked good. I must have been high." Death said as he sees his past self with a tai dye robe with an afro coming near the dead drive as he takes his soul to the next life.

"I love you, Lois Pewterschmidt." Young Peter said

"I love you, Peter Griffin." Young Lois said

"Look at that. Huh, huh? There's no way she's gonna leave me. Now put me back in my freakin' body, all right?" Peter said as they return to the golf course.

"I can't put you back until you have a revelation. You know, one of those things that changes your life." Death said as he tries to show Peter that his marriage is in trouble.

"To hell with this. I'm going home." Peter said as he is going to return to his body by his mouth. As John and Tyler face palms their faces, Frank Begins to argue with peter.

"What are you doing? You can't get in that way." Frank said.

"I'm sure as hell not going in the back door." Peter said as he is not going to return to his body by his butt hole. As death begins to freaky pout from checking his watch on what time it is.

"Crap! I don't have time for this. Listen, I'm late for an appointment. If you don't want to follow procedure, fine. Stay here in limbo." Death said as he begins to walk away.

"No. Wait. I don't want to be in limbo!" Peter said as he, Frank, John and Tyler chase death while Frank Jr went back to peter's body and took his wallet and took his cash, he puts it in his pocket and walk away.

Meanwhile we join Lois, Meg, Persephone and Chris at the Dog race tract following the next clue.

"Okay. It says the next note will be right under my nose." Lois said

"And they're off! And quick out in front, Silver Dasher, followed by My Nose!" Announcer said as the dogs are now race with the dog name "My Nose!" running second.

"Aha! Hold my purse!" Lois said as she chase the dog with that name.

As Dogs barking, Lois chase my nose fog as she tackle the dog down.

"What's Mom doing?" Chris asked Meg and Persephone.

"I'll tell you what she's doing, she's screwing up my six-two quinella. Damn it!" Stewie said as he tares up his ticket bet.

"My Nose in front, followed by Sea Biscuit, followed by Some Crazy Lady followed by Middle-Aged Housewife followed by Wait, Who's That? followed by Silver Dasher. And now it appears there's a woman chasing the dogs." Announcer:

"Let's go, kids!" Lois said as she has the next clue as she and her kids leave for the next clue.

"Blackie, tell the boys in Kansas City the bet's off." Stewie said as he tells his bettor name blackie to end the bet from Kansas.

"Too late, Stewie. The fix is in, and the noodles are boiling in the pot. Boiling, I tell you!" Bettor said.

"Aaargh!" Stewie said as he moans at his lost.

Meanwhile with the guys walking in clouds on their way to deaths house with death trying to find out the meaning of Peter's Death experience.

"Wait a minute. I got it, I got it. I figured out my revelation: God loves a working man." Frank said.

"No!" Death said.

"The Shadow is in reality Lamont Cranston, wealthy young man about town." Frank Jr and Tyler said.

"No! Oh, crap! I'm late. I'm in big, big trouble!" Death said as he hyper ventilate while using his inhaler.

"Jeez, you're pretty shook up about that appointment of yours! You're Death. What are you afraid of?" Peter asking death on what he is afraid of being late for.

"Where the hell have you been? When I said lunch, I said noon, not noon-ish." Mrs. Death said as she constantly pesters Death with motherly concern.

"Sorry, Ma." Death said as he groans.

"Sorry? Is "sorry" gonna reheat the casserole? So, who's your friends?" Mrs. Death said.

"It's a work thing, Ma. Near-death experience." Death said

"Where are you going?" Mrs. Death asked.

"I gotta take a leak." Death said.

"Well, don't forget to zip up your fly. If you don't zip up your fly, a seagull will get you!" Mrs. Death said.

"God, she's a pain in the ass! I wish Dad was still dead." Death said.

"I'll tell you, Lois' dad was a pain in the ass when I met him." Peter said as he and the gang yet again travel to Peter's past. Death takes them back in time to Peter's courtship of Lois. Where Peter was try to make a good impression on Lois's father, Carter Pewterschmidt.

As the Doorbell rings at Pewterschmidt mansion, Young Lois runs at the door to open to see Young Peter Freaking out!

"Hi. Can I take my tie off yet?" Young Peter said.

"Peter, you look so wonderful. Are you nervous about meeting Daddy?" Young Lois said and asked if Young Peter is nerves.

"You'll know when I'm nervous." Young Peter said.

"Lois?" Carter said in the background as Young Peter nerves Farts.

"Now. Lois, take the rap for this. I only get one chance to make a first impression." Young Peter said as cart arrive while sniffing the farts.

"Hi, Daddy. That was me. And this is Peter." Young Lois said as she introduce Young Peter to her father while taking the blame for the fart smell.

"Hey, Mr. Pewterschmidt. What are you feeding this gal? Peter Griffin. Can I take this freakin' tie off?" Young Peter said as he shakes Cart's hand.

"It's a pleasure. My daughter is quite taken with you." Carter said while he shakes Peter's hand.

"And I'm taken with her. I mean, look at this. Show us front and back there, Lois. Don't think I don't know where that comes from. That's some world-class juice you got brewing in the old flesh balloon down there, Carter. Oh, yeah." Young Peter said.

"I'm gonna go get my purse." Young Lois said as she leaves the room to get her purse.

"All right. Hey, based on what you've seen with your wife what can we expect in terms of droopage here? We talking a slight slope or the full fried-eggs-hanging-on-a-nail thing?" Young Peter said something stupid while Frank and Frank Jr face palm their foreheads.

"Peter, what do you think of this bronze statue?" Carter said

"It's nice." Young Peter said.

"It's early Etruscan." Carter said as Frank Jr asked his father is to why his Great grandfather showing his grandpa a stupid statue. While Frank told him that stupid statue is worth a lot of money.

"Get out of here!" Young Peter said as he looks at the statue.

"No, seriously." Carter said.

That's great. Young Peter said as Carter who knocked Peter out with an early Etruscan statue and had his servants give him a death flight

While Peter was Sputtering and coughing, He was rescued by the U.S. Navy ship on which Quagmire was serving

"Hey, look. A manatee!" Captain said as he look threw his telescope.

"We can use it for soup." Chef said.

"Ensign Glen Quagmire. Welcome aboard. You picked a great day to get rescued. We were just about to sing a song about mopping" Young Quagmire said as he tries to impress on Peter how good life in the navy is with everyone singing about mopping. While a Cheery instrumental music was playing in the background.

Chorus

We're mopping the deck

Which is navy for floor

And when we're done mopping

We'll mop it some more

Quagmire

OH!

As Frank Jr and the boy were join in song while dancing around a mop and bucket.

Frank Jr and Chorus

Swab means mop

Deck means floor...

While Frank, Peter and Death were watching he musical number, Mrs. Death came in behind them.

"Could you tell me when you're leaving to go back in time? I was talking to a robe on the coat rack for 20 minutes before I realized you weren't in it." Mrs. Death said to death as she complains to death of not being there for dinner.

Death: Ma, for God's sake, leave me alone! I'm working!

"Don't yell at your mother! If you yell at your mother, a hen will lay eggs in your tummy." Mrs. Death said.

"Wow, brilliantly choreographed." Young Peter said as he enjoys a rousing musical number performed by Quagmire and his shipmates.

"Well, that's your tax dollars at work. Hey, why don't you join us and see the world?" Young Quagmire asked peter to join them.

"Sorry, pal. I've seen the world, and its name is Lois." Young Peter said as he thinks about Lois.

"How romantic! Why can't you find a nice girl?" Mrs. Death said as she awes at the romances.

"Ma, she's gonna dump him." Death said.

"Well, at least he got that far. You know who he took to the prom? His cousin!" Mrs. Death said.

That's weak. Peter said as he and the boys laugh.

Yeah. Mrs. Death said as she Laugh with them.

"All right, all right, that's it! I'm sick of both of you. Come on, Peter." Death said as he push them away back to Peter's body.

"Death, put your jacket on, or you'll get frostbite!" Mrs. Death said as She makes up childish things that will happen if he disrespects her.

"I don't have skin!" Death said.

"Cause you didn't eat your beans!" Mrs. Death said.

Now back at Barrington, we join the boys as Death is going to quit help Peter.

"Come on. Get back in your big, fat body. Why should I help a guy save his marriage when I can't even get a girl?" Death said.

"Whoa, wait! What are you saying?" Peter said.

"The revelation, jackass! It could have helped you save your marriage. But too late. And by the way, when the lightning hit you, you soiled yourself. Enjoy." Death said as he leaves.

"Wait. Grandpa can't lose Grandma! Please, we'll do anything. What if we helped you get a girl?" Frank Jr said as he helps Death get a date.

"Really? You think you could do that?" Death said.

"Sure. All we gotta do is get you a little fixed up. Get you a haircut, give you a good clean... [Frank and Frank Jr Screams]...shave, maybe some cologne. The chicks will be all over you." Peter said.

"Gee! You really think so?" Death said.

"Absolutely." Peter said as he and the Boys Vomits from Death Faces.

Now Join Peter, Frank, Frank Jr, John and Tyler at the beach waiting for death to come out in his bathing suit.

"You got any SPF-50? I bleach like a gym sock." Death said as he comes out of the restroom with a blue hoodie and green shorts with orange flowers.

"Look, Death, will you relax? I told ya, the beach is a perfect place to pick up chicks. Now I want you to go over there, and ask those girls if you can play." Peter said as his point out girls near people playing volleyball on the beach.

"Hey, can I join you?" Death said.

"I guess. What's your name?" Girl 1 said.

"Josh." Death said.

"Do you, like, live around here?" Girl 1 said.

"No. I live with my mom." Death said.

"Let's get out of here." Girl 1 said to Girl 2.

"See ya, Josh. Tell your mom we said hi." Girl 2 said as both girls went away from death while laughing.

"Heads up!" Man said as a ball knocks off one of deaths legs and he fall down.

Meanwhile at James woods high school as Cheery instrumental music was playing in the background. Lois, Meg, Persephone, Chris and Stewie found the next clue on top of the flag pole.

"How do we get up there? Dad put grease on the pole." Meg asked.

"Don't worry, Meg. We've been studying fulcrums in school. You simply have to counter-balance the weight where the lever pivots. Like so." Chris said.

"Stewie, honey, want to play rocket ship?" Persephone asked her little brother.

"What the deuce?" Stewie said as he goes up the flag pole.

"Blast off! Go on, Stewie. Get the note for Mommy." Lois said.

"How dare you use me for your own personal selfish...oh. Pull slower. I must remember to do this again when no one's around." Stewie said as he gets aroused by the pole pushing upon his butt.

Meanwhile at the boardwalk we join Peter and the Gang trying to cheer up Death.

"What the hell was I thinking? You don't know anything about picking up chicks." Death said.

"Are you kidding? I learned from the best." Peter said.

As Exciting instrumental music was playing in the background, we join Young Peter and Quagmire on the ship as it arrives at Jamaica.

"Come on, buddy. We're dropping anchor in Jamaica!" Young Quagmire said as he shaves his pubes.

"Great! We're getting closer to Rhode Island." Young Peter said as he getting close to Lois.

"Rhode Island? Forget that. I'm taking you out for some shore leave. Does this look like a "Q" to you?" Quagmire said as he shows his shave pubes to Peter and by close encounter, Frank, Frank Jr, John and Tyler.

"No." Young Peter said as John and Tyler just Vomits form looking at the crotch.

"How about now?" Young Quagmire:

Sorry, Quagmire. Your crotch just looks like Lois to me. Peter:

"Well, let's ask her then. Hey, Lois, should Peter sit around and mope all night?" Quagmire asked his crotch as it wags side to side to mean no.

"Or should Peter go out with his buddy and have some fun? Quagmire asked his crotch as it wags up and down to mean yes.

"He, he, he, All right!" Quagmire said his catchphrase.

As We join Everyone from the future at the at the Tiki bar as they watch Young Quagmire do his thing.

"Okay, that one's a feminist type. She's into he-men. And that one's mad for jazz. Watch this." Young Quagmire said as he points to the three hot women, the long hair with glasses, the short blonde hair with a tang top shirt & shorts and finally the afro black women with a sundress.

"The plight of women in this hemisphere is deplorable!" Young Quagmire said to the long hair women with glasses while trying to feel bad for women.

"I can bench-press 800 pounds!" Young Quagmire said as he flexes his muscles for the short blonde hair with a tang top shirt & shorts.

"You, me and Coltrane till dawn. Giga-Giga-Gigadi!" Young Quagmire said as he pretends to play the saxophone to impress the afro black women with a sundress.

"There you go, Peter. One for you, two for me." Young Quagmire said as the girls join him.

"You guys go on without me." Young Peter said as he draws Young Lois except with bigger bobs as he sighs.

As Sad instrumental music playing we join Peter and the boy with death.

"Why didn't you go with them?" Death asked peter.

"You don't know what love's like." Peter said.

"Oh, yeah? Her name's Amy. She works at a pet store. I met her when her dad hung himself. But I was too shy to ask her out." Death said as he pass a photo to Frank Jr

"What's with that moustache?" Frank Jr asked about the picture.

"Let me see that. Sorry. That's Edward James Olmos. Here. This is her." Death said as he pass the real picture.

"Hey, nice ass." Peter, Frank, John and Tyler said.

"Sorry. No. That's Edward James Olmos' ass. I guess I don't have a photo. But trust me, she's cute." Death said.

"Well, let's go get her." Peter and Frank said as the rest of the gang cheer as they leave the flashback.

"Grandpa, Death need that picture of Olmos' ass back." Frank Jr said while leaving the flashback.

"Oh, yeah, right." Peter said as he gives the photo back to death.

Now we join Lois and the kid in the quahog sewers looking for the next clue.

"Mom, hurry! I can't stand the smell!" Persephone said, as she cannot stand the smell as she hold Stewie and Meg hold a flashlight.

"I found the note! "Go back to the Mini-Mart"? Well, this isn't very creative. Let's go, kids." Lois said as she pick up the clue under a sewer light.

"Mom, you remember that goldfish we flushed down the toilet? He wasn't dead." Chris said as he held hostage by said fish that was mutated and has come for revenge.

Meanwhile at the pet shop Peter, Frank, frank Jr, John, Tyler and Death were near the window to look at the chick that death was swooning on.

"There she is. That's her." Death said.

"All right, now go on, like we practiced." Peter said as Death enter the pet store.

"Hey, you." Amy said as she greets death at the door.

"Hi. I was just, [as animals going crazy] in the neighborhood and so, I thought that you... This is a bad time. Maybe I'll just come back." Death said as he leave the pet store in disgraces.

"Whom I kidding? I'll never get her." death said as he mopes about the fail mission.

"Not with that attitude. Come on! Robert Reed got Florence Henderson, and he was one of thema toe-tapping Burgermeisters. You've gotta find a way to make it happen." Peter said as they were once again in peter's past as he says his goodbyes to Young Quagmire.

"So long, Peter. I hope you find your girl." Quagmire said as he shakes peters hand.

"Thanks, Quagmire. Hope you live next door to me someday." Peter said as he waves goodbye and leave as quagmire goes to a girl to show her his crotch.

"Hey, does this look like a "Q" to you?" Quagmire said as he show her his crotch.

The Girl screams out of the background.

"How about now?" Quagmire said.

Meanwhile at night on the high way, Young peter was signally some to drive him to Pewterschmidt mansion. As a van with the sign hot chocolate pulls up and show young Cleveland brown

"So, where is it you need to go, my new honky friend?" Young Cleveland said as he opens his door for Peter gets a ride with him back to Rhode Island.

"Rhode Island. That's not too far, is it?" Young Peter said as he and the rest of the gang jump in as the drive towards quahog.

"Nothing's too far away from Maxine, the cheatin' queen. Women. That's not fair. I'm just speaking out of hurt." Young Cleveland said as Frank Jr patted him but it went through since this is a memory.

As Truck honking from the back as it showed that members of the Ku Klux Klan pursued them.

"That truck's coming up on us awful fast." Frank said as he see the Ku Klux Klan pursued them.

"Holy crap! Do you see what I see?" Young Peter said, as Peter, John and Tyler just turn white.

"I'm afraid I do!" Young Cleveland said while Frank agreed with him.

"We're being chased by ghosts!" Young Peter and Frank Jr said as the rest of the people in the van just give them "are you serious" look to them. As the flash back ends with them at the bench next to the pet store.

"So, you went through all this trouble to see your girl?" Death said

"He sure did. In addition, he is just a fat idiot. What's your excuse, you big chicken?" Frank Jr said as he asked death his excuse for not asking Amy.

"Chicken? You take that back!" Death said as he pokes Frank Jr.

"Yeah? Make me!" Frank Jr said

"I don't make monkeys, I train 'em." Death said as they all fought until peter rips off death arm.

"Holy crap! I'm sorry. Did that hurt?" Peter said

"No. But this will!" Death said as he poke peter in the eye with his dismember arm.

"You bastard!" Frank Jr said as he slap death with his own arm until Amy come out of the store to learn what happening.

"What the hell is going on out here?" Amy said

Actually, I, uh... Death said

He wanted to ask you something. Peter, Frank, Frank Jr, John and Tyler said

"Amy, you want to go somewhere and grab a coffee?" Death said as he grabs his arm and puts it back but wrongly as he ask Amy for a date.

"Sure. I get off at 2:00." Amy said

"Great! Great. I'll meet you here." Death said as amy leave to get ready for her date.

"You did it! All right! Hey, who knows? You might even, you know... "Peter said as he and the gang did weird dances, wiggles, flips and finally turn into pretzels.

"I'm not following you." Death said, as he is confused on what just happened.

"Intercourse." Peter and Frank said for the answer for death question.

"Ah." Death said as we join Lois and Meg back to quahog mine-mart to find the last clue as they bump into Cleveland, Menma and Loretta.

What are you doing here? Lois asked Cleveland.

"Loretta's mom wanted a snack so we had to pick her up some Kibbles 'n' Bits." Cleveland said something funny about his mother in-law.

"Cleveland!" Loretta shout his name to stop with the jokes

"He mean Cheezits." Menma said in response.

"Did Peter give you a clue for me?" Lois asked the couple.

"Peter? He's down at Barrington with Frank, Frank Jr, John, Tyler, Brian and Quagmire." Loretta said the truth as Menma face palm in discuss.

"He's golfing on our anniversary?" Meg shouted as she and Lois leave toward the golf course.

"Oh, boy! You just put Frank and Peter in the doghouse. Which is where your mother..." Menma said

"Don't say it!" Loretta said to shut Menma up.

Your mother smells. Cleveland said as Loretta just got more piss off.

As Cheery instrumental music playing as we join our heroes at the clothing store to pick out some new threads for death when goes on his date.

"See, this is why I hate clothes shopping. I have no ass. I'm minus an ass." Death said as he comes out with cloths that do not fit him since he just bones.

"You're trying too hard, Death. She won't care what you're wearing. She's just gonna be glad to see you. That's how it was with Lois." Peter said as we flashback to Young peter arriving at Pewterschmidt mansion. As he sneaky his way in to the gate until he meets some dog.

As The dog growling, they went on the attack.

"Aaaaaaaaa, Oh, God! Oh, God! [struggling] Hi, Mr. Pewterschmidt." Young Peter said as he, Frank Jr Screams and Runs their way into the mansion by climbing window crash into the bathrooms Jacuzzi.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Carter said as he asked how peter got here.

"It's a long story with some terrific performances and a wonderful scene at a carnival, but I'll cut to the ending. I want to marry Lois!" Young Peter said as he asked him for his daughter hand in marriage as Young Lois came near the bathroom door as she heard peter voice.

"Out of the question! Now, listen, Griffin. I want you to take this, and stay away from my daughter forever!" Carter said as he write a check to peter and he had it to him.

"$1 million?" Young Peter said

"$1 million?" Frank, John and Tyler said.

"$1 million?" Frank Jr said.

"$1 million?" Carter said.

"No deal! Lois may be worth a million to you, but to me, she's worthless. I love her, Mr. Pewterschmidt." Young Peter said as he refuses Carter's offer of $1 million to stay away from his daughter.

"Oh, Peter!" Young Lois said as she runs toward peter with happiness as they kiss.

"Holy crap! Back then, Grandpa gave up $1 million just to be with Grandma. Now we won't even miss a lousy golf game to spend their anniversary together. No wonder she's gonna dump gramps." Frank Jr said as he realizes that it's over and his grandma isn't going to forgive them for this mess.

"Or is she?" Death said as they all realize the revelation.

"Wait a minute. That's my revelation. I gotta pay more attention to my wife!" Peter said as he figured out.

"Eureka! Now, come on back to the golf course. I've got a date." Death said as he gets ready for his date until Frank Jr tog on his robe.

"Death, wait. Before we go, I need you to do us one more favor." Frank Jr said as they zoom in at Peter Frampton house.

"Peter! Peter Frampton!" Frank Jr Dress as Death said in a spectral voice.

"Oh, no! God, please, no! I'm too young to die! Are you sure you're not supposed to be at Keith Richards' house? Also why are you so short?" Peter Frampton said as he questions death.

"All right. If you want to live, come with me (back to normal voice) and bring your guitar, and bring that thing that makes it go... wah wah wah wah." Frank Jr said as he makes wah-wah sound.

As Dramatic instrumental music, Lois drives to towards Barrington country club to get peter.

"Wait!" Valet said as lois pass him to reach the golf course.

"Damn! How could he lie to me on our anniversary?" Lois said as she gets out of the car with meg as they were piss out of their minds until they hear Frampton singing "Baby, I Love Your Way," and Frank Jr playing on acoustic guitar with backup vocals.

Frampton and Frank Jr

Ooh Baby I love your way

I wanna tell you I love your way

I wanna be with you night and day oh yeah

"Peter! Our song!" Lois said as she remember the song of their first date.

"Happy anniversary, Lois." Peter said as he hug his wife.

"This is the most romantic gift you've ever given to Mom. How did you ever put all of this together? Meg said as she to hug her husband for their gift.

"Well, I had a little help from a very special friend." Frank said as he, Frank Jr, John and Tyler look toward the sky and think of death for this gift.

As we join Death, as he does not enjoy his date with Amy.

I like animals. Amy said.

Uh-huh. Death said as he is bored out of his mind.

"Because they're like people. Just little furry people." Amy said something boring.

Yeah. Hey, you ever go on the Internet? They got some cool stuff there on that Internet. Death said as the waiter just came poured their coffee.

Oh, yeah, I bought these shoes from a company on the Internet because they don't test on animals. Amy said a loopy as someone put drugs in her coffee as she starts take off her blouse.

"Yess!" Death said as he drags Amy into his house

"Check, please." Death said as he finished the sex with pleasure.

Now we frank Jr in his room with a journal of his Grandpa Jake Mallque, in his past he used to draw houses as he had a talent for drawing before he got into his job as an architect and also loved to record him and Frank Jr's Grandmother sayo went by another name by Achika on his video camera, although both of them were too shy to express their feelings towards one another. Although Jake was trapped with Achika along with the Ten Tails in a second dimension, it was watching Jake getting knocked unconscious by Ten Tails that awakened Achika's dormant Jurai powers. Both were rescued by Frank and then both of their memories were erased so it wouldn't affect the future. Ironically, the dream house that Jake had drawn for him and Achika is in fact the house that he, Frank, and their extended family now live in.

She showed great potential even as a young woman, able to see spirits and speak to Funaho, her father's Royal Tree. Yosho hoped for her to inherit the sword and mantle of the royal family (as Frank later would). But she was in love and yearned to remain a normal girl without the burden the title would bring upon her.

Still, Achika did not wish to disappoint her father, and with this conflict in her heart she took the bonding ritual with Funaho... and failed, being wounded severely. The man she had loved abandoned her while she was on the mend, causing Achika's efforts to have been for nothing and her heart to break. A year later, Achika had recuperated but was far weaker than in her younger days, catching notice and marrying the much older Jake because of his resemblance to her father (both were Yosho's descendants).

After another year had passed, Achika gave birth to Frank, Menma and Rage and everything seemed well. However, at five years of age the powers latent in Frank surfaced, and in poor condition and unable to defend herself Achika was fatally hurt by the Lighthawk Wings as she in put in a coma. On her bed, she asks her father to continue training Frank, Menma and Rage as her place was now with the goddess Tsunami. As Frank Jr finish reading the journal, he know looks at the window as the sun goes down thinking about his family past and his own future.

Chapter ends

I hope everyone enjoyed! This is thanking for pen123 and Family Guy Fan writer 15, Thank you all for cutaways, scenes, favoring, having me on alerts, PM ideas.