Chapter 35: Lethal Weapons

Opening Credits

It seems today that all ya see

Is violence in movies and sex on TV

But where are those good, old-fashioned values

On which we used to rely

Lucky there's a Family Guy!

Lucky there's a man who

Positively can do

All the things that make us

Laugh n' Cry

He's

a

Fam

-ily

Guy!

End

We join the Mallques, the Griffins, The Brown and the Swanson's enjoy the lake in the peace of Quahog. As Frank and the boy with Peter, Lois and Bonnie drive the boat while Joe water skates with his wheelchair as he does his twelve flip.

"Baby! Twelve in a row!" Joe said as he brags about water skates as bonnie removes her robes as Frank Jr, peter comment about her body.

"You must've had a great body before it went all funhouse mirror on you." Peter said.

"I can't believe how terrific you look." Lois and Frank said.

"Thanks. I've been taking Tai-jutsu classes. You should come with me sometime." Bonnie said as she invited Lois and Frank to join her on Tai-jutsu.

"We'd love to." Lois said.

"Oh, the baby's kicking. Want to feel?" Bonnie said as she asked Peter and Frank Jr to feel her baby in her tummy.

"Sure." Frank Jr and Peter as they feel the baby by laying on her tummy but they were kick by said baby.

"Ow! Oh, You are freakin' dead, kid/asshole!" Peter and Frank Jr said as they try to reach the baby so they can kill it.

"Peter/Frank Jr!" Lois and Frank said as they try to hold them back.

"I love this time of year." Meg and Persephone said as they relax on the boardwalk.

Me, too. The summer tourists are gone, and we finally have the town to ourselves before those idiots from New York show up to watch the leaves change and take over the whole place. Brian said as he relax with the family while Persephone using a stick ont the lake to bug the fish.

Suddenly Brian notice the leaves start turning fall colors, then he gasp as Cars honking is disrupted and "leafers" from New York invade town.

"Leafers!" Brian shouted as everyone is beginning to panic.

"Holy crap! We gotta get outta here!" Frank said as zeke punch the boat toward shore.

As Dramatic instrumental music is plays in the background, everyone evacuated the boat.

"What about the boat?" Bonnie said in the boat as Zeke takes the skates off his dad.

"Leave it!" Joe said as he and zeke race toward their car.

"Hurry, Peter! They're almost here!" Lois shouted at her husband as they family were trying to get in their car.

"We're too late!" Chris, John, Tyler said as a car arrive at the lake with two men from New York.

"Yo, Marty. Check out those colors. Yellow like a taxi, orange like the ball at the Knicks game and red like the sauce on my Mamma Mia's cu cazz." Man said as comments on the leaves around the lake.

"Yeah, and brown like the guys I don't pick up in my cab." Matty said as he explains about people that he doesn't take in his cab.

"Beautiful!" Man said as kiss his finger in an Italian way.

"Aaahhh!" The Mallques/The Griffins all screamed in terror.

As we turn to the channel 6 news hosting Diane Simmons and Tom Tucker.

"Good evening. Tonight's top story: Quahog is infested with loud, hairy creatures, also known as "New Yorkers." Diane Simmons said

"They migrate north every autumn to see the foliage. I think I speak for all of us when I say New York and everyone from there can fornicate themselves with an iron stick." Tom Tucker said as the scene changes back to the Mallque/Griffin family as Horns honking, they in a traffic jam.

"We're gonna be late for church." Lois said as she whines about being late for church.

"Move it! Damn leafers." Frank said as he is drive the family's sedan as he stciks out his head argues with the leafers.

"Chris, quit it! Mom, Chris put his foot on my side again!" Persephone said as she complains to her mother about Chris's feet on her side of the seat.

"I can't help it. I have these long dancer's legs." Chris said as he explains about his feet being long dancing legs.

"Move it away Tyler!" John shouted to tyler.

"Well, you stop steeping on my potato salad!" Tyler said as he brought a snake on their way to church.

", stop whining! Chris, stay on your side! John, stop stepping on Tyler's snacks! Tyler, stop bring food! Grandma, for God's sake, get off your ass and do some parenting! Frank Jr said as he shut everyone up and asked Lois to do her job.

If you kids don't knock it off, we're not going to McDonald's after church. Lois said as she lay on the law in the family to behave.

Grandma! /Mrs. Griffin! /Mom! Everyone said as they moan.

"Don't worry, we're going." Frank said to relieve them by telling them that they're still going to Mc Donald's until Meg and Lois give him the stink eye.

"But you don't get the supersize." Peter says that they would still be able to go to McDonald's, but wouldn't be able to get the supersize.

"Oh!" Tyler, Frank Jr, Chris said as he moans in objection.

"Okay, you can supersize, but no apple pie." Frank and Peter said.

"Come on!" Persephone and John said as they both moan in objection for not getting their way.

"Okay, you get an apple pie, but you can't blow on it." Frank says they can get an apple pie but can't blow on it to cool it down.

"Frank, Dad, don't contradict me and mom in front of the kids!" Meg said

"Meg, Mom, Siblings fighting is as natural as a white man's dialogue in a Spike Lee movie." Frank said as we set up a cutaway.

Cutaway

A black man enters a pizzeria.

"Wassup? Can I get two slices of pepperoni?" he ordered as the white man began to growl inconsistently as he moves his hands around.

Cutaway ends

Now we zoom in to the holy Christ church with a motto, "Come for the mass, stay for the guilt!" as we join the Mallque/Griffin family in the church being over crowded by Leafers.

"Who are all these people?" Lois said as she, meg, Frank and Peter arrive in their q's as they notice all these people in the church.

"Damn New Yorkers! They took all the good seats." Peter said as he complains about the leafers crowded the church, as we join the babies peaking on an old lady.

"Aren't you two precious?" Elderly Woman said as she complments them until FRANK Jr and Stewie pop out as devils while hissing to scare the old lady as she Screams in terror.

"Hahahaha, some of my novelty items were provided by Jack's Joke Shop of South Attleboro, Massachusetts." Stewie said as he advertises Jack's Joke Shop.

"Remember, "If it ain't funny, it ain't worth jack!" Frank Jr said as they point to all the leafers to buy the stuff from Jack's Joke Shop of South Attleboro, Massachusetts. As the priest arrives at the podium to start mass.

"I'd like to welcome all our out-of-town parishioners. My cousin, Father Sapienza, is in from New York to see the leaves. And I'd like to invite him to do the opening prayer." Priest said as he introduces his cousin to the people on in the church.

"Yo! God is good, eh? And he expects us to be good. And if you're not, he's gonna come down and bust your freaking skull, Amen." Father Sapienza said as His homily stirs up a fight between several other leafers when he says that God orders them to be good or he'll bust their skull.

"Who do you think you're talking to? Your God ain't tougher than me!" One leafer said as he stands up in challenge to God.

"You can't talk to the Father like that, you stupid cafone! I oughta come overthere and break your freakin' arm!" A second leafer said as he raises to the First leafer to be more respectful of the Father or he'll break his arm.

You wanna go, tough guy? I'll snap you in half like an almond biscotti from Valero's on 51st Street. Best in the city! The first leafer as he gets out of his q to fight the second leafer.

"Fellas, this is God's house, and the Patriots kick off in about 45 minutes. Can we move this along?" Peter said as he, Frank, John and Tyler got out of their q's to stop this fight to get out of church to catch the game.

"Patriots suck!" the leafer Man said as he pisses off Frank and Peter.

"Blasphemy!" Frank and Peter said as they splash him with holy water as he burns for his sin against the patriots.

"It burns!" the leafer Man said as his face burns for his sin.

"Wow, Mr. Griffin and Frank are man of god!" Tyler said as he awes them with praise.

"Maybe, Maybe not?" Persephone said as she and John look at the bowl and sniff it.

"wait, this is acid and if this is acid, where's the holy water?" john said as we cut scene to a lab

"Holy water? Where's that acid I ordered?" Scientist said as he got the wrong liquid, as we zoom back to the church with the leafer still burning form acid wounds.

"Hey, Guido, watch this." Frank Jr said as his bow tie spins in front of the leafer.

"Whoa, Frank Jr you got to lay off the coffee! Ha-cha-cha! That's Jack's, Exit 14 off 295." Stewie said as he advertises Jack's Joke Shop of South Attleboro, Massachusetts again.

As we join Lois and Frank at Jared Fellows Tae-Jitsu, a Tae-Jitsu academy owned by Jared Fellows. It has Korean characters at the bottom right corner of the sign, and it looks like 태슈즈(Tae-Shuzu). As we see them doing Tai-Jitsu with other students.

"Tae-jitsu is about power for your body and your mind. Don't be afraid to free the beast inside you. Left kick, right kick, punch combo, stomp!" Jared said as they synchronized in the art of Tae-Jitsu.

"Beautiful. Again. Left kick." Jared said as he continued instruct them in the art.

You're doing great for your first lesson. Bonnie said as she doing Tae-Jitsu

I'm really cutting loose. Just like Julie Andrews in that movie where she showed her breasts. Lois said as she and Frank do the Tae-Jitsu lesson.

Cutaway

We see Mary Poppins in front of two children.

"Oh, Mary. You'll never leave us, will you?" the boy said as We see Mary Poppins opening her blouse and revealing her boobs in front of two children.

"Yes, those are lovely. But it doesn't quite answer their question, Mary Poppins!" Frank Jr said as he appeared between the kids as the boy and the girl looked in shocked of Mary Poppins's awesome rocking tits.

Cutaway Ends

As we join the gang arriving at the drunken clam as a Crowd cheering on TV with leafers occupy the seats in the clam. As the jets won the game on tv.

"Jets rule!" the leafers cheered for the jets.

"Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah." Two leafers cheer as they celebratory dances as one of them bump into peter.

"Hey, watch where you're going, will you?" Peter said as he pushes the leafer off of him.

"Hey, Horace, put the Pats game on the TV, and get me a few beers, huh?" Frank said as he and peter order themselves some beers to relax.

"Sorry, Frank. Someone stole the remotes...and the kegs. And I'm not sure, but I think I've been shot. Yep." Horace said as he looks at his newly shot gun wound as he faints on the floor on his side of the counter of the bar.

"Hey, pal, watch my seat. I gotta bleed the lizard." Man said as he unzipping his fly and pisses himself on the side of the counter of the bar.

"Public urination is just wrong. Except during the Million Man March when protesters burned our Porta-Potties. Then Me and Menma used our streams of justice to put out the hate." Cleveland said as the gang seat on the other side of the bar.

"I don't know, fellas, I think there's potential in this crowd. Hey, honey, why don't you turn around and show me the Lower East Side?" Quagmire said as he trying to ask the women near the counter.

"Sure." The women said as she turns out to be a Transvestite.

"Whoa, transvestite! Back off! Wait a second. Pre-op or post-op?" Quagmire said as he questions the Transvestite of his type.

"Pre-op." Transvestite said of his type.

"Whoa, transvestite! Back off!" Negi said as he pulls quagmire away from the transvestite.

"You're right. This place blows. We gotta send these straphangers back where they came from." Quagmire said as he returns to his seat thinking with his buddies of a way to get rid of the leafers.

"Don't worry. I got an idea. An idea so smart my head would explode if I even began to know what I was talking about." Peter said as he try to explain his plan until it got confusing.

As we join at the Mallque/Griffin house with leafers everywhere until they hear angry growl from the tree.

"I am a man-eating tree. Go back to New York, or I will eat you! Just like I ate insane New York anchorman Dan Rather. And look who I had for dessert. Asexual former mayor Ed Koch. Leave my land, or I will smite you with my powerful limb." Peter said as he pokes the leafer with Angry growl hide inside the tree with Frank Jr, Frank, John and Tyler.

"What are you, nuts? Gimme that branch. Get off of me!" the leafer Man said as he pulls out Peter, Frank Jr, Frank, John and Tyler of the tree.

"Why you..." Peter said as he and the leafer start fight as Frank Jr jump in to whale the leafer by the balls.

"Oh, my God! Stop fighting!" Lois said as the leafer ignore her as hits both Peter and Frank Jr until Lois beats him up instead to keep her family out of trouble.

"Holy crap!" Frank Jr said as he looks at the power Lois has.

"Oh, my God!" Lois said as she looks at her hands at the power she wields

Meanwhile back at the house, Lois feels shame by the fight.

"Mom, you could be a world champion, and no one could hit you below the belt because girls don't have anything down there." Chris said

"Can you teach me to kick ass?" John said as his genes beg to learn how to fight.

"Oh, no. I do not condone violence. And I am not gonna be responsible for bringing fist fighting into our schools." Lois said as she would not teach anyone to fight for violence.

"Gee, Lois. Can you hear me all the way back there in the '50s?" Brian said as he makes horrible joke about the 50s.

"Well, that was lame." Stewie and Tyler said as they were dress with arrow shot threw their heads.

"Poor Peter. I emasculated him in front of all those people. I think he's really upset." Lois said as she thinks Frank Jr and Peter are embarrassed from her fight. Until she hears something outside.

"Gather around, everybody. $10 is all it takes! Step right up and fight my Grandma!" Frank Jr said with a blow horn.

"Come one, come all. She floats like a butterfly and stings like when I pee." Peter said.

"Peter, I am not a sideshow attraction, at least not anymore." Lois said as she set a cutaway flashback.

Cutaway

We see a dwarf Lois inside a cage at a carnival as she is bouncing on trampoline.

"Me likey bouncy. Me likey bouncy" she repeats herself.

Cutaway Ends

"I want you to get rid of all this right now because I am never fighting again. Ever!" Lois said as she leave in a huff.

"Come on, Chris. We'll have to go to Plan B." Peter said as Frank Jr change their sign to "watch my son wrestle an imaginary bear!"

"Oh, no! Ah! Oh, God! Oh, my God! Help me! Help me, for God's sake! He's gonna kill me! Help!" Chris said as he growling to fight the bear but he was losing the fight.

"Don't worry. It's a trained bear. He's in no real danger." Frank Jr said to reinsure the customers.

Meanwhile at the Jared Fellows Tae-Jitsu dojo, Jared was teaching his student while we see Frank, Lois, Peter and Frank Jr entering the dojo.

"He's teaching a class. I can't bother him now." Lois said as she trying to leave but Frank won't let her.

"Sure you can. Hey! Hey, Ralph Macchio! My wife here needs to talk to you. There you go, honey." Peter said as he got the trainer attention and he slaps Lois's butt for support.

"What is it, Frank and Lois?" Trainer said as he asked his students.

"I-I don't think we should do tae-jitsu anymore. I'm afraid I'm gonna hurt someone." Lois said as Frank agrees with as he feel something inside him is try to come out.

"But, Lois, Frank, you two my star pupils. I want you two in my advanced class." Trainer said as he tells them the news about being excellent student and wants them to succeed.

"Advanced class? No, no, no, no. I'm trying to quit." Frank said while his he feels like he is about to imploded.

"Fine, quit. But get used to people walking all over the two of you." Trainer said.

"Wait, hold on there. Nobody walks all over my wife and Son in law, because I won't let them." Peter said in argument.

"Peter..." Lois said as she feels that he is emasculating her in front of her sensei.

"Quiet, Lois. Men are talking. She learns things eventually, it just takes her longer. Come on, honey, we're outta here. If you hurry, I'll let you try on hats. I won't let you buy, but you can try 'em on." Peter said as he drags lois and Frank out of the dojo to try on some hats.

"We'll do it." Frank said as he finally caves in into his saiyan instincts as he knows wants learn how to defend his family.

As Inspiring instrumental music is playing as Jared was training Frank and Lois by doing fist strikers combos as they Grunting and growling.

Then Lois was kicking a punching bag with her left leg, then spin kicked off the chain.

Frank was mediating with John and Tyler to channel his energy flow, then he is running on top of the mountain on his feet. Then he slices two cement blocks with his palm.

Then we see them breaking wood borders with their feet and their fists and finally Lucy van Pelt from the comic strip Peanuts appears and pulls away a football from Frank Jr as he tries to kick it as she does to Charlie Brown. Lois then kicks her in the face

"Sobbing!" Lucy crying said as Jared bow at his students.

Now we join Lois and Frank taking their kids to the park.

Frank Jr, Stewie, you two want to swing? Lois asked her son and Grandson.

"Yes. Why not? I'll have a go at it. Perhaps a quick stretch first." Stewie said as he does some stretches until he pops a bone.

"Damn! Must've pulled something playing hoops last week." Frank Jr said as he set up a cutaway.

Cutaway

We see Stewie playing basketball with a black person.

"I know you're not putting that rock up from here. You ain't got no J" Stewie said as he is trying to block his opponent until he got the ball as Stewie is force to trip him.

"Yo, man! That's trippin'!" his opponent shouts.

"Brother, please! You're the one who's trippin'! Go on, cry home to your mama! She waitin' for ya" Stewie taunted.

"Now don't make me put my size 13s up your narrow a**!" the player threatened.

"I don't sweat you! You bring it on, b***! Now, how you gonna act? Bring that trash in here! This is my house!" Stewie cursed as he pump his chest and fist.

Cutaway Ends

"Excuse me. We were about to use that." Lois said as woman and her baby took the swing for stewie.

"You snooze, you lose, lady." Woman said as lois gets piss as she stops the girl swinging.

"You have two choices. Either my baby swings from this jungle gym, or you do." Lois said as she frightened them off the swing as stewie gets on.

"Whoo, Lois! Someone's wearing their ovaries on the outside!" Stewie said with Frank Jr getting a nod in that comment.

"She saw me walking to the swing!" Lois said as she swings stewie with much strength.

"Yes, she saw you. Easy now." Frank said as he saw her swing higher as Stewie goes to the top with fear.

"Nobody walks all over me! Those days are over! Lois demands respect!" Lois said as she launches stewie off in the air as stewie Screams with Frank Jr following him near a stroller with a female baby.

"I smell a messy diaper." Stewie said as he smells her diaper with a sexual tone.

"God! Why does that turn Him on?" Frank Jr said with disgust of Stewie's sexual ticks.

Meanwhile at the Mallque/Griffin house, the Griffin Twin, Chris, John and Tyler were raking leaves. As the twins goes for the last two leaves Chris stop them

"Hold it, Girls. Those two are mine." Chris said.

"What?" Meg asked in a question tone.

"That's Randy and that's Fred. Randy is the messy one. Fred's very neat. When you get them together, hoo-hoo, hold onto your sides." Chris said as Persephone picks up the two leaves.

"Nice to meet you both." Persephone said as she destroyed the leaves as Tyler, Frank Jr and Chris all gasp in horror.

"Murderer!" Chris said as he, Tyler and Frank Jr chase Persephone to get her back until Lois stops them.

"Stop it, all of you! Starting now, you Four are gonna love each other! Now stay that way." Lois said as she forces them to hug and love each forever as she leaves them alone.

"It's gonna be weird to potty." Frank Jr said with Chris and Tyler nod in that response.

"Sheesh, Frank, Lois, look at the garbage those damn leafers dumped on our lawn. New York Post, New York Magazine, the New York Mets." Peter said as points out a pile of New York newspaper, New York Magazine and a dead New York baseball team.

"Pops, I'm sick and tired of hearing you whine about the leafers! Take some action! Free the beast!" Frank said as he grabs his sword from his room a started practice sword technique with Lois in front of the leafers and some of them run in fear of his power.

"That was strangely arousing." Quagmire said at his window with his Wang out until it slams shut with Wang stuck as he shouts in pain and Grunts as he tries to take it out.

"Hello, 911? It's Quagmire. Yeah. Yeah. It's in a window this time." Quagmire said as he calls 911 for help.

"Wow, look at them run." Brian and John said as they cheer for the leafers to leaving town.

"Wait a second, Brian and John. That gives me an idea." Peter said as he has plan to exploits Lois' fighting abilities to drive the leafers back to New York.

Now we zoom in on the Drunken clam as we see Peter, Frank, Frank Jr and Lois going inside.

"The Drunken Clam? Why couldn't we go someplace fancy like The Olive Garden?" Frank said as he gets Lois hungry.

"Oh, the breadsticks. Me likey breadsticks! Me likey!" Lois said as she is bouncing like her dwarf self for food.

"You're a big girl now. Stop it!" Lois said to self as she calms down.

"Hold on, Grandma. Excuse me, New Yorker. I think you're in my seat, and My Dad had sex with your mother last night." Frank Jr said to a sleep Leafer on the counter.

"Frank Jr, are you crazy?" Lois said as she questions Frank Jr's behavior.

"What did you say?" Man said to our little hero as peter come in to add to the steam.

"About his seat, or about my plowing your father's wife?" Peter said as he pisses off the Leafer into hit him until Lois punches him out.

"What the hell are you doing?" Lois asked peter in an angry tone as Peter and Frank Jr ignore her to bug another Leafer.

"Excuse me. Is your refrigerator running? Because if it is, it probably runs like you. Very homosexually." Peter said as he pisses off the Leafer

What? Man said as he tries to punch Frank Jr until Lois caught the blow.

You wanna dance? Lois said as she flips the guy into a table.

"Jets suck! Yankees suck! Knicks suck!" Peter said as he pisses off the Leafers with their football teams as Frank puts them down with few punches combos and spilt kicks.

"Krypton sucks!" Frank Jr said as Zod and his gang, Ursa and Non, were seen in The Drunken Clam, and when he said "Krypton sucks", Zod and his gang attacked Frank Jr. Lois threw all three of them into the Phantom Zone, and they drifted off into space like the first Superman movie. As Lois and Frank clean the clam with their skills, the remaining leafers ran away out the door.

"That's right. Go back where you came from, you bastards." Frank Jr said as he closes the door with a leafer crashing near it.

Meanwhile at Jared Fellows Tae-Jitsu dojo where all the student are already black belts.

"We'll conclude today's graduation ceremony with a demonstration by the black belts. Okay, people, let's show them what we've learned. Kathy, get in there with Lois." Trainer said as points at his two students to show them their stuff to the crowd.

"I can't. I have cramps." Kathy said in a quite tone.

"Why are you putting me up against the scrubs, Jared? Why don't you be a man and fight me yourself?" Lois said as She challenges Jared in a martial arts contest.

"Lois, the sensei is a sacred position. he could never violate the spiritual bond of the student-master relationship." Frank said with Jared nod at his pupil wisdom.

"Oh. Then allow me." Lois said as she slaps jared like a bitch as he pisses off jarred and Frank.

"The bond is broken!" Trainer said as he getting ready to fight until Frank stops him by telling him he will held her.

"Then spin the wheel, Raggedy Man!" Lois said as she in her fighting pose as Martial arts fight music playing in the back ground.

"Give it your best shot!" Frank said as he used Flying Punch, a Technique that allows Him to uppercuts Lois on his way into the air. Then Frank Used his Multiple Shadow Clone Technique, Frank creates nine hundred and ninety-nine clones. To start with, the opponent is kicked high into the air, while yelling "U-ZU-MA-KI". The thousand bodies then pummel the opponent with both their left and right fists equaling two thousand punches. Finally, it is finished with a final simultaneous blow from both left and right hand uppercut as Lois fall in pain.

"Goruto's 2000 Blows Barrage!" Frank Shouts his Japanese name as he punches Lois down on the floor. As Peter and the family look in shocked as to what the hell is happing. As lois recovers to do some punch kick combos to lower Frank's guard. Even doing blocking franks blow as they doAttack Clash!

"So am I supposed to be intimidated by you?" Lois said.

"I am a Saiyan of Earth! And I will never back down!" Frank said as he broke the clash with his famous Kamehameha wave, as He fires it at Lois; Meter Burn has him doing one longer than the standard Kamehameha move, which is shorter in comparison.

"Go, Frank! Pummel him with your powerful fists of female fury! And then when he's weary, emasculate her with your incessant whining! Brother! Yakety, yak, yak, yak. You know. Enjoy the fight." Stewie said to his follow spectator as Frank starts to glow golden as he uses his Super Move.

All the Fusion heart Heroes transform into their respective Six paths sage modes, after which they all head in to attack the opponent in the following order: Simon punches Lois, Nunnally slashes them with its claws, Menma bulldozes them towards Rage, who kicks them, allowing Rolo thrust their body for Lelouch to spray it with acid, which leads to Ven in the air as he thrusting the opponent towards Kamina, whose punch allows Frank to ram them into the ground. After the sequence, the Heroes unite their tails into a single attack, pummeling Lois to summation.

"Team Fusion Heart Full Charge brawl!" Frank shout his cry of victory as he stands on top of Lois like a hero.

"Frank, that was amazing! Congratul-" Meg said until Frank kiss her and then grab and touch her vigina.

"This is mine! This is where my babies come from!" frank shouted until Frank Jr push him off.

Meanwhile at the Mallque house at night we see Peter watching TV in his room.

"And now back to the Movie of the Week: Speed 3 - Glacier of Doom." Announcer said.

"If this glacier goes slower than one mile a year, we're all dead!" Man said.

"Tell me something I don't know! Get out of the way!" Woman said as she warns an eskimo but he ignore her. Until the tv was turnoff by piss off Lois Griffin.

"Lois, I was watching that." Peter asked as Lois looks at peter.

"What you looking at?" Peter asked

"The underpants, lose 'em!" Lois said in a demanding tone.

"Actually, I sort of have a headache, kinda. See, maybe tomorrow, or..." Peter said

"Take 'em off!" Lois said as she refuses to take "no" for an answer when it comes to sex with Peter.

"Yeah. Okay, honey." Peter said as he takes off his underpants.

Meanwhile in the kitchen, Stewie walks in on Peter eating his graham crackers, and gets very angry.

"Whoa! What the hell are you doing? Those are my graham crackers!" Stewie shouted at peter.

"Run along, Stewie. Daddy had a rough night." Peter said in a low sad tone.

Why you tottering, femme-sucked dewberry. I'm going to go find something to strike you with. Excuse me. Stewie said as he goes for his bat in his room.

"Good morning. Grandpa Peter!" Frank Jr said as he enters the kitchen with Brian following him.

"you look terrible. What happened?" Brian asked Peter on what happened last night.

"Last night, Lois was the man!" Peter tells Brian and Frank Jr what Lois did on sex night.

"Good Lord!" Brian shouted as Frank Jr had a question look on what happened to his grandpa.

"I just want you to know, Brian-I didn't cry." Peter said as he whines from the sex.

"It's okay." Brian said but that's when Stewie strikes Peter with a baseball bat.

"Oh, no! Peter! Stewie, what did you do?" Lois said as she panics of what Stewie did to peter.

"Looks like he freed the beast all over the back of Peter's head." Brian said as explains what happened.

Oh, my God. This is my fault. This is my fault. I brought violence into this house! I am the worst mother in the world! Lois said as Stewie ripe his shirt to reveal a tape recorder.

"Aha! I got it all on tape!" Stewie said as he play the tape.

"Okay. This is me interviewing Ed Sullivan. What's new, Ed?" as Stewie change his voice to Ed Sullivan. "Well, Stewie, tonight we have a really big show." Stewie said while Imitating Ed Sullivan. "Okay. And now a word from our sponsors. "It takes a very steady hand. Don't touch the sides! Butter fingers." Stewie said in the tape while tuning the tape off to explain himself.

"I was making radio shows for fun. Everybody does it. Everybody I know...shut up!" Stewie said but that is when Frank Jr strikes Stewie with a baseball bat.

"Well that was annoying!" Frank Jr said as he leave the room.

Meanwhile at the Quahog's Child Psychology Center, as Lois resolves to rid the house of anger. She takes Frank Jr and Stewie to a child's anger management class as they observe them threw a window.

"Now, Frank Junior and Stewart, I want you to take this Mommy doll and this Daddy doll and show me how they act together." Psychologist said as he pass two dolls to Frank Jr and Stewie.

"Yes. Very well. All right. "You see, Margaret, after 20-odd years of marriage, your curious indiscretions no longer phase me." Frank Jr said, as he inmate's the man dolls voice while talking to stewie's female doll.

"Really? And I suppose you think I enjoy hanging onto those hammocky deposits of gin sugars you call buttocks?" Stewie said, as he inmate's the woman dolls voice to respond to Frank Jr's doll until they saw.

"What was that? What did you just write there?" Frank Jr said as he takes his notebook as he and Stewie and he read what he wrote.

"Give me that!" Psychologist said as he try to reach his notebook but fail.

"Insecurity? Gender confusion?" Frank Jr said as he gives the Psychologist a piss off look.

"We'll give you something to write about! Ooh, look at us! I'm insane! And he is Martin Lawrence on a bender!" Stewie said as he a page of psychiatrist notebook as both Stewie and Frank Jr attacks the psychiatrist by biting his ears.

"Mr. and Mrs. Griffin, does Stewart and Frank Junior have a history of aggression?" Psychologist said with a damaged but bandaged ear.

"No, no. Stewie Hitting Peter and Frank Jr Hitting Stewie are the first violent thing they ever done." Lois said as Frank Jr and Stewie were playing in a play pen.

"Technically, the first act of violence was that time bomb I left ticking in your uterus before I came out. Happy 50th birthday, Lois." Stewie said with an evil tone.

"It's obvious that your son is learning this behavior from someone?" Psychologist question the Griffin couple.

"I know who's responsible for Stewie and Frank Jr's behavior. But if I told you who it was, Lois would beat the crap out of me. Peter said as he points at the person responsible for the pain.

"Now, just a minute!" Lois interrupted peter as he screamed in fear of get violated.

"The whole reason I started fighting is because of you anf Frank! I felt weak! You and Frank never listen to me! You two undermine me in front of the kids! And besides, you two are not exactly Fathers of the Year yourselves." Lois said as she makes her point.

"Well, there seems to be a lot of anger in your household. You owe it to your son and your Grandson to learn how to manage these feelings." Psychologist said as Stewie Guillotines a bear while Frank Jr bonks him with a plastic bat.

"Manage what?" Frank Jr said in question on to what the Psychologist said.

Meanwhile at the Mallque/Griffin house, everyone was having a meeting in the living room.

I know I went a little overboard with my tae-jitsu. But from now on, we're not gonna have any more anger in this house, okay? Lois said.

"Well, then tell Chris to quit drawing pictures of me with a pig's body." Meg said.

"Don't censor me!" Chris shouted as he trying attack meg until Lois stops them.

"No more anger! Okay. The psychologist wants us to try an exercise called "role reversal," where we pretend to be the person who makes us angry. I'll go first. "Don't listen to your mother, kids. She's worthless and dumb, and ignore her, and only listen to me-Peter." Lois said as he inmates peter to make fun of him.

"I'm Lois. I brake for yard sales. But I don't let Peter buy anything he likes. Like that Narragansett beer stein where the hot chick has two mugs for jugs." It was eight freakin' dollars, and we have a dozen places to put it!" Peter said as he inmates Lois as he gets piss off by her controlling behavior.

"Oh, oh, me next, me next! "I'm the dog. I'm well-read and have a diverse stock portfolio. But I'm not above eating grass clippings and regurgitating them on the small braided rug near the door." Stewie said as he inmates Brian to a degree.

"I'm a pompous little anti-Christ who will probably abandon my plans for world domination when I grow up and fall in love with a rough trick named Jim." Brian said as he inmates Stewie as he confesses that Stewie is gay.

As we join peter getting a juice box as he is trying to get open with a straw but it doestn go in as he gets piss off. Then he snaps by smashing the box open leaving the juice on the table as he using the straw to suck up the juices.

Whoa, whoa, Pops, calm down. Frank said as he, Frank Jr and Brian come in to the kitchen.

"I'm sick of Lois' anger-management techniques, Guys. They're not working." Peter said as he gets more piss off on Lois.

"What about the writing-angry-letters- and-not-sending-them exercise?" Brian said as he explains about those angry-letters and-not-sending-them exercise.

"Aw, jeez, I wasn't supposed to send those? Grandpa told me to mail those letters." Frank Jr said as he sends those letter in the mail.

"Look. I got a letter from Dad." "Dear Meg, for the first four years of your life, I thought you were a housecat." "Dad!" Meg shouted at peter.

"Dear Stewie, get out." Oh, that's nice. Stewie said as he gets piss offs.

"Mine just says, "Dear Lois." And after that, it looks like someone just spit on the paper! You got something to say to me?" Lois said as she gets into an argument with Peter.

"Yeah. PS... Frank Jr!" Peter said as Frank Jr get a Deep snort ready to spit at Lois.

"Hold on a second." Peter said as Frank Jr got the spit loggie ready until Brian and Frank stops them.

"Hold on, hold on. Relax. Everybody, relax. All right, look, I was hoping it wouldn't come to this, but we need to get our anger under control before we kill each other. No!" Frank said as he calms everyone down.

"So, my psychiatrist gave me these pills. They're mood elevators. I think they could help...even us out." Brian said as he tries to convince them by giving them supposed mood elevating drugs.

"We're not taking pills. It's not natural." Lois said as she is not taking drugs to calm down the family.

"Neither is bleaching the hair on your upper lip, Martin Mull!" Peter said as he insults Lois's lip hair.

"Give us the pills!" Lois said as she takes a lot of pills.

As African tribal music play in the Mallque/Griffin house as all of the family was chanting.

ALL of the family

Ah-Oom, bop-bop, Ah-Oom, bop-bop.

Stewie

Hey, oh, mother Africa!

ALL of the family

Ah-Oom, bop-bop!

"That was fun. What country should we do next?" Lois asked the family

"Monaco! Oh, wait. That's a principality." Chris said

"You guys want to hear something really funny? Those pills I gave you were placebos. Sugar pills!" Brian said as he ends up that he lied and gave them placebos.

"Wait a minute. Are you telling me I sang Ladysmith Black Mambazo for nothing?" Peter said as he gets piss off.

"Did it kill you to be multi-cultural for a minute?" Lois said as she questions Peter's soul.

"I died a little inside, yes. You happy now?" Peter shouted at Lois.

"Don't you use that tone of voice, you..." Lois said as she argues.

"What were you going to say?" "Fat ass"? Peter said as he calls her out.

"Wide load"? Chris said.

"Dough boy"? Meg and Persephone said.

"Retarded fat-ass?" Frank said.

"Drunken wide load?" Frank Jr said.

"Dirty Butt hole?" John and Tyler said.

"Country virtuoso Roy Clark"? Stewie said.

"How about "all of the above?" Lois said.

"How is this for a name?" "Miss, Pony Express is in." "What do you got for me, Joe?" "Let me see here. It's here somewhere. Here we are. A big bag of liver spots for Lois!" Peter said as Lois punches Peter to the big radio.

"You…you just hit me" Peter complained.

"That's right!" Lois exclaimed as Peter punched her to the ground.

"You can't hit me! I'm a girl!" Lois shouted.

"Sometimes I wonder" Peter wondered as Lois attacks him with a roundhouse kick. "Kicking, Lois?"

"Ha! Hurts, doesn't it?" Lois asked.

"You tell me" Peter retaliated as he kicked her in the ankle, but she kicks him to the radio. The parents box each other out as Peter head-butts Lois multiple times.

"Go, Dad! Kick her a**!" Chris cheered.

"Shut up! This is all Dad's fault" Meg argued as she pushes her brother.

"I don't like to be touched!" Chris shouted as he and Meg started wrestling on the ground. Meg punches Chris multiple times as Chris hits her head multiple times as well.

Stewie rides on Brian as Lois throw things at Peter.

Brian knocks Stewie down by the edge of a table as the baby falls down while the dog runs away. Chris throws Meg down the stairs as he body slams her, but Meg retaliates by locking him in a half nelson. Peter punches Lois multiple times as Lois kicks his face many times as well. Brian attacks Stewie with a piece of glass as the baby head-butts the dog. Meg pulls Chris' hair, but he hits his sister with a lamp. Peter and Lois continue fighting each other to the death. Then she slams a photo of a donkey on Peter's head. Everyone pauses fighting for a second as they share a laugh, but Stewie attacks his mom with a chair and the family resumes fighting.

We see Frank Jr, Frank, Persephone, John, and Tyler watching them fight as they share a big bag of popcorn.

"I think this is pretty cool!" Persephone said.

"Can I join in?" Frank Jr asked.

"Maybe next year" John said.

Later that night, they are all covered in bandages.

"Man, I'm glad we got that out of our systems." Brian said as he Laughing off the beating.

"I wonder what came over us?" Frank Jr asked his mom as she hugs her sister and family for not join in the fight.

"Maybe people are naturally violent." Tyler said about everyone's behavior.

"I don't believe that. I think it's all the TV we watch. There's so much violence." Frank said.

"Yeah. TV is dangerous. Why doesn't the hell doesn't the government step in and tell us what we can and can't watch? And shame on the network that puts this junk on the air!' John said as he blames the network, FOX, the writer Hero King Zeta 1991 and his creator Grand Tome Publishing.

"John? John, maybe you shouldn't say anything bad about the network." Lois and Tyler said trying to calm him down.

"Why? What are they gonna do? Cut our budget? I'm gonna go get a beer." Peter said as he walks away like a stick puppet, the show's budget is cut short as revenge.

Chapter ends

I hope everyone enjoyed! This is thanking for pen123 and Family Guy Fan writer 15, Thank you all for cutaways, scenes, favoring, having me on alerts, PM ideas. Also a change my name to Hero King Zeta 1991.