EDWARD

Bella lay in my arms. I didn't realize until just then how much I missed watching her sleep. She was so beautiful. I had to keep reminding myself that she was no longer mine to feel this way about. She belonged to Jacob. I felt a little guilty that I was the one with her right now. He should be here. From what Alice told me, though he was a man of action. He didn't tell Bella everything was gonna be alright, he went out and made it alright for her. I had a feeling that was how he helped her get over me.

"Jacob." Bella mumbled.

It hurt a little to hear that she was dreaming about him instead of me. Then again seeing the smile on her face after she said it made me feel better. Jacob made her happy and that's all that mattered to me.

"Edward," she said. "I missed you. Please stay."

Those words shocked and confused me. It was times like these when I wished I could read her mind. If I could see her mind, I could see what she was dreaming about. It would be so much easier for me to tell the meaning of her words. Is she not as happy as she looks? Or did she just want me to stay as her friend? It was very frustrating.

As much as I liked watching her sleep, I wished she would wake up. I really wanted to talk to her. I needed to find out where I stood in her life. I needed to ask her forgiveness. I needed her to know that I wasn't going to put myself between her and Jacob. Unless, of course, she wanted me to. I would do anything she wanted me to and she needed to know that too. She needed to know the truth. She deserved it.

As if answering my thoughts, Bella began to stir in my arms. She sat up after a minute and looked at me with confused eyes. She blinked once then realization became apparent. She scrambled out of my embrace and into the armchair across the room. I was, once again, frustrated by the fact that I couldn't read her thoughts.

I knew her well, though. I was willing to bet anything that she was feeling guilty about waking up in the arms of someone other than Jacob. Once she was in the chair, she gave me an embarrased smile producing the blush I loved so much.

"Hi." she said.

"Hi." I replied.

"Any word on Charlie?" she asked. I could tell how tense she was.

"Not yet." I replied. "The pack and the family are working together, though. It shouldn't be too much longer."

She nodded.

"Thank you for coming over." she said. "I know it probably wasn't something you wanted to do."

"I really didn't mind. I wanted to see you again." I replied.

She turned to stare out the window. Silence fell. I didn't need my power to know that she was considering the worst possible scenrios. I knew I needed to throw the distraction of us at her but I couldn't get my words in order. She was the only person who could render me speechless. It was now or never.

"Bella," I said. She turn to look back at me. The sadness and fear in her eyes broke my heart. "We need to talk."

BELLA

I was utterly confused by Edward's attitude. If he didn't love me anymore, why the hell did he want to see me again? Why the hell is he in my living room making sure I stayed calm in this crisis? Why wasn't he off with one of his distractions?

It didn't hurt to think about those distractions anymore. I had my own distraction who was so much more than that. I thought about Jacob out there trying to find my father. I loved him so much. I loved that he didn't just say it would be okay. He did what he could to make it okay. He took care of me in a way that Edward didn't.

I'm not saying that I didn't like Edward's way of taking care. In fact, I was glad he was here. He had a way making me feel better with a few simple words. That was something I needed now. Yet, this time, Edward was silent. I guess this was just as awkward for him as it was for me. I averted my attention to the window. I didn't know what to say, either.

"Bella," he said after a minute. I turned to look at him. "We need to talk."

"About what?" I said. "You don't love me. I get that now. I won't be bothering you. I have Jacob and I'm happy now. It's fine."

My voice broke. It didn't hurt me to say it. I just never said it out loud before. It was a relief really.

"No, I need to tell you what I really felt in that time." he said.

Now I was confused. I furrowed my brow a little and he laughed.

"I have to start from the beginning, I suppose. After the incident the night of your birthday, I realized how much danger I put you in by letting myself love you. My love for you almost led to you death by my own brother's hand. You have no idea how that made me feel. I decided, after that, I needed to stop thinking about me and start thinking about your safety. I got the family together and suggested that it was safer for you if we walked out of your life. They protested at first. Alice even revisited her vision of you becoming one of us."

"I would've been more than willing." I said. It was the truth at the time. Now I didn't want it so much.

"I know and Alice reminded me of it. But I wanted you to have a normal life. I wanted you to be able to graduate high school. Get closer to your human friends. You were just starting to reconnect with your father. I didn't want to take any of that away from you. Those things were too important. The family eventually agreed. They wanted to say goodbye but I knew it would be hard enough for you to watch me walk away. You didn't need to watch them too."

I nodded. I was still confused. The things he was saying now didn't match up with the things that he told me in the forest. It sounded like he left because he loved me. He wanted me to be safe.

"That day in the forest," he continued. "I lied about everything. We probably could've gotten away with a couple more years but it seemed a good excuse at the time. The truth is it was the hardest lie I've ever had to tell. When I heard you crying for me, I wanted nothing more than to turn back and take you in my arms. I wanted to tell you it was a lie and I wasn't going anywhere. I knew though that you would get over me and find happiness elsewhere. I knew if I went back, I'd be putting you in danger. That thought is what kept me running."

This caught me off guard. He still loved me but I had Jacob now. I didn't know what to say. Thankfully, he was still talking.

"The time I spent away from you was the worst in my existence. I came back to see if you were getting any better. If you weren't, I decided to just give up and give in. I tried to come here a week ago. I just wanted to see you and watch you sleep a little. Well, I ran into one of your werewolf friends. I didn't know if I was still, welcome so I went back to the house. The family was there when I got home. Alice, who can't see the wolves, saw my future disappear when I reached your house. The family freaked and came back here."

I chuckled lightly.

"I went to your graduatuion the next day. Just to see you and mybe talk. Then you came out with Jacob and I knew I was done. I was happy that my plan had worked. I mean you didn't quite get the normal part but you were happy. I could see in your face that you all but forgot about me and that hurt. I was a little angry that it was my mortal enemy. I was worried for your safety too. I wasn't sure how well he could control his temper. Then I went to the meeting in hopes that you would be there. Once again, you were happy with her. I could see you were worried that you hurt us but I could tell us long as Jacob was with you you'd be fine."

"You've gotten better at reading me?" I questioned.

"After nearly a year of loving you, I think I got you down." he replied.

I laughed.

"I also used the meeting to take a look in Jacob's mind. I realized then that yopur safety wasn't an issue."

"What do you mean?"

"The entire time we were in that field, he wanted nothing more than to phase and rip me to pieces for what I did to you. He knew you wouldn't like it and that's what kept him in control. Thoughts of you keep him grounded. He doesn't want to hurt you just like I don't wanna hurt you. He keeps it under control for you."

I now understood why Jake was smiling so much at that meeting. He was using his memories of the two of us to stay in control. Those thoughts were hurting Edward. There was an awkward silence. I knew he was waiting for me to say something but I was too shocked to say anything. I took a deep breath.

"I'm glad you told me all of this Edward but I love Jake now. He filled the whole you left. I still love you too. You were my first boyfriend. My first kiss. My first mythical creature." I said. We both laughed at that last one. "But it's just not the way I love Jake."

"I know that." Edward said. "I would never dream of trying to come between the two of you. I see how happy you are. That's all I've ever wanted you to be. I want you to know, though that you're still a Cullen. You always will be. And I want that to include me still, even if it's not in the same capacity. Alice and Rosalie are always telling what a wonderful big brother I make." He said.

I smiled.

"I'd liked that." I said. "I've always wanted I big brother. Now I have four."

He looked at me questioningly.

"You, Emmett, Jasper, and Sam." I said.

"What about the rest of the pack?" He asked.

"They're my little brothers." I said then added, "They're too annoying to be big brothers."

He laughed.

"Come here little sis."

He held out his arms and I hugged him. It felt good. I really did miss him alot. He phone rang ruining the moment. I suddenly realized why he chose now to have this talk. I had completely forgotten about Charlie.

We pulled away from each other and he took out his cell. He flipped it open and began talking to rapidly for me to hear. He clicked the phone shut and I looked at him hopefully.

"They found him." he said.

"Thank god." I breathed then I saw his face.

"What?" I asked.

"Jacob's on his way. He wants to tell you." he replied.

"Tell me what?" I asked the panic rising.

Edward sniffed the air.

"I gotta go." he said. "Jacob will be her in a second."

He ran out the back door as Jake came in the front door. I knew something was wrong the minute I saw his face. The were tears running down his cheeks.

"Jake, what is it?" I asked.

"Maybe you should sit?" he said.

"No, just tell me." My voice cracked.

"We found a few miles away from the convience store, just before the higway. His cruiser was wrapped around a tree." he explained trying to keep in his emotions.

My heart started racing.

"We don't know what happened. The Cullens and the pack came and pulled him out. He was alive when we called 911. Dr. Cullen did everything he could but Charlie lost so much blood. I'm so sorry Bells." He broke.

"Jake, that's not funny." I said trying to slowly the lump in my throat.

"I wish I was joking, babe, I really do." he replied.

I felt my legs turn to jelly. I waited for my knees to hit the floor but a pair of strong warm arms wrapped around me. Jake picked me up bridle style and carried me up the stairs. I broke down against his chest. He layed me in my bed and then laid next to me. He held me as we both cried.

This wasn't fair. I was just getting to know my dad after growing up without him. Why did I have to lose him? Things were getting so much better. I had Jake and the pack. The Cullens were back. Edward and I mended things. Did I have so much happiness that I deserved too lose my dad? How does that balance out anyway? It's not fair. I cried for hours and Jake just laid there with me. He didn't try to tell me that it was going to be okay? They'd never be okay now.

Nine months ago the thought of never seeing Edward again seemed like the worst thing that could happen. I realized as I cried with Jacob, that wasn't even close. The knowledge that I would never see my father again was by far the worst thing that could happen.

A/N: I hope you enjoyed this one. I was crying while writing the end. I really hope it turned out okay. I also hope you guys understand why I put Edward and Bella's conversation here. Thanks to everyone who reviewed!! Please do it again!!!!!