AN: Sorry for the unexpected disappearance. Life just keeps getting in my way. But I have not abandoned the story and will do my best to update more regularly. Thanks everyone for sticking with me!


"What were you thinking?" Joker reprimanded Jo once they were alone in the Kodiak, heading for a nearby cliff where they could have a conversation away from any prying eyes, but still be close enough to see everyone milling around in the Normandy's shadow. "Going one on one against a Reaper and killing it? Do you have any idea what that did to us up there, to me? That was crazy!"

"Technically, I didn't kill it. You and the quarian fleet did. All I did was point and duck," Jo avoided looking at him, removing her battle gloves and taking the weapons off her back. "Point and duck."

"It was still crazy and I want you to never do that again," Joker slammed his fist on the button which opened the hatch of the tank after they landed. The excitement of the day was finally catching up with him and he was anything but happy about all the risks Jo had taken. It was a miracle she was even alive right now.

"I will try," she said in a subdued voice, exited the tank and brushed her fingers over the spot on her jaw, disabling the tracking device hidden there under her skin. Joker narrowed his eyes. What did she have to say that was so private that she didn't even want him to have a recording of it?

"Okay, spill it. You're scaring me. What did you want to talk about?" He folded his arms on his chest.

"I visited the geth consensus this morning," she began. "It was amazing, Joker. No organic being has done that before."

"Yeah, about that. How do you know you're out? If geth experience everything virtually, how do you know that all this isn't a simulation?" He pointed around them, trying to lighten the mood a little bit.

"It wasn't like that," Jo said, finally looking at him directly and holding his gaze. "What I need to tell you is that I didn't come back alone."

"Huh?"

"At the time I didn't know what would happen with the quarians and I couldn't let them kill all geth. The possibility was very, very real. In fact, you know exactly how close we came to losing all geth just minutes ago. I couldn't take a risk that the entire race would be wiped out. I will not commit genocide, nor will I ever let anyone else commit it without doing something about it."

A shiver went up and down Joker's spine.

"What exactly are you saying?"

"I asked Legion to use my brain as a storage disk for a geth unit. Before you freak out - it's not a full geth AI, I don't have a second person in my brain, it's nothing of the sort. It's an installation unit which can be transferred to another platform and unfold itself to a real geth, but as long as it's inside my brain it's nothing more than... a seed."

Joker's knees went weak and even Jo wasn't quick enough to catch him this time. Thankfully, a nearby rock offered a good wall to sag against.

"Oh. My. GOD," he pressed out through clenched teeth, his entire body rigid from the shock, his lungs unable to expand. "Holy motherfucking god."

"That's a new one," Jo chuckled, but Joker didn't feel like laughing. His head spun so hard he wondered if it was still attached to his neck.

"What... what did you... How could you... Oh my god." He slid down the rock until he sat on the ground, looking at Jo. She stood just a few steps away and made no attempts to help him get up. She probably knew he wouldn't welcome her help right now. "Oh my GOD!" He suddenly yelled when another realisation hit him and Joker fought hard to get back up to his feet. "Yesterday you told me you don't hate the Reapers! And today you come home with a geth in your head! Are you turning into one of those husks? You're indoctrinated, we knew that, but is this the first sign of craziness, like with Kenson?" He grabbed her shoulders and looked closer in her eyes, trying to see something there, something that would either confirm his worst fears or disperse them. He didn't know what he'd expected, but all he saw was the usual grey-brown of Jo's eyes, without even a hint of the red flash that came from Cerberus implants and appeared when she was in a bad mood. At the first glance there was nothing but Jo. Just Jo. But what if he was lying to himself, ignoring the obvious signs of indoctrination? What if he was too in love with her to admit to himself that she wasn't herself anymore? What if his Jo had gone and only a Reaper agent was left? What if everything was already lost, and it all happened right under his nose, slowly and quietly, so that nobody noticed a thing? What if the real Jo was already dead and the galaxy was doomed? "Oh my god."

And then the real reason for her secrecy and her slightly guilty look hit him.

"You don't know. You don't even know! Holy fuck, you don't even know yourself if you did it because you're indoctrinated or in spite of it!" He threw his hands in the air, unable to express the horror that filled him. To burn a little of the energy he started pacing up and down the cliff, running his fingers through his hair. When his cap got in the way he tore it off his head and tossed it to the ground. What he really felt like doing was ripping his hair out and screaming.

"Jeff, I can't tell you I'm not indoctrinated because we both know I am. But I didn't get that geth seed because I'm working for the Reapers. It was the right thing to do and I did it."

"Would you have done it five years ago?" He stopped pacing and looked at her, though his body was still in shock.

"I believe I would have, yes. I always would have done that, facing the same odds I did this morning," she said.

"Except last night you told me you don't hate the Reapers!"

"You're taking my words out of context!" She raised her voice to match his yelling. "I didn't say I liked them, for fuck's sake. It was an academic question, which you asked me, by the way. Would I be able to commit genocide if it was the Reapers, when I refuse to do it with other species? That was your question and I told you: if they tell me their side of the story, I would be obliged to hear it and see if I can find another way if it's legit. I've heard their side now and I've passed my judgement: their side is not legit and I will fight them to my dying breath."

Joker stopped and turned to her sharply:

"You did? You heard their side? When did that happen?"

"Didn't you hear a word of what that thing told me before it died?" She waved her hand at the valley down below where the smoking corpse of the Reaper lay still. Joker frowned in confusion, trying to remember what she was talking about.

"No, guess I missed that part because I was trying not to have a heart attack because you went hand-to-hand against a Reaper!"

Jo nodded and opened her omnitool.

"I recorded it," she said. "Pushed the button before talking to that thing because I needed it on record. Nobody ever believes me when I talk to the Reapers. Never thought I'd have to play it to you of all people."

"Shepard," the Reaper's voice sent a shiver through Joker's entire body.

"You know who I am?"

"Harbinger speaks of you. You resist. But you will fail. The cycle must continue."

"I killed Sovereign, and now you."

"We are many."

"We are more! And we'll work together to defeat you, all of you."

"You can not comprehend the magnitude of our presence."

"We might surprise you. Help us understand."

"You represent chaos. We represent order. Every organic civilisation must be harvested in order to bring order to the chaos. It is inevitable. Without our intervention organics are doomed. We are your salvation."

"I have a better idea. We destroy you and live our lives in peace."

"A philosophy reminiscent of the quarians. Observe the results. We are your only hope for the preservation of humanity."

"You - whatever species you were before the Reapers decided to preserve them - they are dead. They died thousands of years ago. And now they can rest in peace."

Joker rubbed his chin.

"So what am I listening to here? What is the thing saying?"

"Have you seen one of those old Terminator vids?" Jo asked him.

"Sure, the original and the remakes," he shrugged.

"We're living through the same thing here. A sort of rise of the machines. That Reaper just told me that once upon a time the Reapers gained independent thought and determined that we, organics, are too violent for our own good, so they decided to kill us all to save us from ourselves. We are contradictory beings and every synthetic will agree on that. So, the Reapers consider us a chaotic element, while they see themselves as the perfect, orderly way of existence. Obviously, they think their way is better than our way and in their own twisted understanding of the situation they're doing us a favour by harvesting us and bringing order into our chaos."

"Okay, I can follow you so far. Why the fuck did you get pregnant with a geth baby?!"

"For fuck's sake, the two things have absolutely nothing to do with each other!"

"Oh, really?"

"Yes, really!"

They both yelled now, pacing back and forth on top of the cliff. Joker noticed the worried looks they were receiving from the other cliff where the quarians, the geth and the Normandy crew mingled. He couldn't blame those guys. When their saviour and her lover went off to have a yelling match on a neighbouring cliff right after a historic event, anyone would be worried.

"Prove it. Get rid of the geth. You said it would install itself on a suitable platform? Well, we have thousands of those lying around right here. Pick one and be done with it."

"I would prefer not to," Jo said. The small cold feeling of dread in his stomach returned.

"Why not?" He inquired carefully, like one would talk to a crazy patient that could blow at any moment and the safest way was to play along with their craziness.

"Legion said if I learn to use this seed properly, it could help me fight the indoctrination."

"You can interact with it?!" Joker almost sagged on the ground again, barely holding himself up against the rocks.

"Not really," Jo shrugged. "At least not right now. I haven't noticed anything different yet, so it would probably take a few weeks to integrate and for me to learn how to use it, but Legion said I would be able to process information with the speed of a synthetic being."

"And what does that mean?"

"I don't know yet. You'll be the first to know as soon as I find out."

Joker felt drained, betrayed and so absolutely helpless that he gave up. He pushed a button on his com:

"Garrus, get your ass up here, and bring Doctor Chakwas with you," he spoke up, looking towards the other cliff. From the distance he could see Garrus nod in acknowledgment as the turian went off to look for another shuttle.

Barely two minutes later he and the Doctor stood between Joker and Jo on their cliff, wondering what was going on.

"Tell them," Joker ordered Jo and he couldn't help sounding accusatory. Well, what was he supposed to do? He was completely out of his depth. "Tell them both how you don't hate all Reapers and how you got yourself pregnant with a geth baby!"

"It's not how he makes it sound," Jo sighed. She wasn't calm, but she was resigned. She proceeded to tell them everything she just told him and he had to hand it to her: when she spoke, it all sounded logical, heartfelt and very heroic. Was he overreacting? Was he being an asshole?

Hell, he was always being an asshole, that had nothing to do with the situation. And that was what this was: a fucking situation.

"You have to admit, Jo, all of this sounds a bit suspicious, considering you tasked us with watching your behaviour and looking for signs of indoctrination," Garrus phrased his reply very diplomatically. Don't tell the crazy person that she's crazy - that was his policy as well.

"Fuck, I don't know if I'm acting on the indoctrination or not," Jo threw her hands in the air and started pacing again. "I thought all I did yesterday was answer an academic question, and all I did today was my absolute fucking best to save a species from extinction. I still saved the quarians, too! And I still killed that thing!" She pointed at the dead Reaper. "Look at it! Does it look like I'm working for them?"

"Commander, you do unusual things all the time," Chakwas said. "Had this happened three years ago, none of us would have doubted you for a moment. But today, knowing what's at stake, we can't be too careful."

"What do you suggest we do?" Jo stopped pacing and kicked a small stone off the edge of the cliff.

"My advice would be to get the geth out of your brain, to start things off."

"I told Jeff I'd rather not. Legion told me it could help me process information quickly and maybe even fight the indoctrination. What if it's my only chance to beat this thing?"

"Is that the only reason why you refuse to part with it?"

Jo threw the Doctor a hard, cold glance, before she sucked in some air and started talking. Joker realised it was a confession she wouldn't have made under other circumstances, but she knew that the current situation demanded full disclosure on her part:

"I'm having dreams, or nightmares, really. Whenever I fall asleep, I'm in a land of... oily shadows." She paused. Everyone remembered the rachni queen using those words. "I hear voices of everyone I watched die. Then there is this kid, the one I hallucinated on Earth on the day the Reapers arrived. He runs from me and I run after him, even though I know it's futile. I can't stop running after him, it's like I do what I'm told against my will, and when I finally do catch up with him, I see myself holding him and that other me, she smiles at me like a creep and they both go up in flames. I know it's not me there with the kid, I know that when the fire starts I hear a Reaper's voice, I know that it wants to condition me to believe that everything I do to resist them is futile, that I and anyone I want to save will burn anyway, I know all that when I wake up. But when I'm in that dream, I can't break the cycle of terror. So forgive me if I'm grasping at straws, trying to find anything that could help me break that spell, regain my own will in that dream and push the Reapers out of my mind."

Silence followed her speech. Joker understood her reasoning, but he still didn't like the idea.

"Did Legion say anything about how long it would take for the geth seed to integrate into your brain?" Chakwas asked finally.

"About five weeks."

"All right. I will keep you under very close observation for the next month. Whatever effects the geth has on you - you will report them to me fully, withholding nothing. You will also report to me whenever you have the nightmare you described and any changes you notice in it. You will also inform Lieutenant Vega of the situation so that he can keep an extra eye on you during missions. Garrus, Jeff - watch her closely and report to me if you notice anything out of order with her, anything at all."

"Yes, Doctor," Garrus nodded.

"Will do," Joker mirrored his friend, glad that someone else took charge and told him what to do. He had no idea how to deal with this on his own.

Silence fell between the four friends.

"So... that's it?" Joker narrowed his eyes with a frown. "We're just gonna let this slide with a little slap on her wrist?"

"Apparently," Garrus drawled, sounding a little overwhelmed and suspicious as well.

"Guys," Jo sighed. "Today I not only lost a friend, but also pulled one of the greatest miracles this cycle has known so far. Don't rain on my parade. At least until tomorrow."

Joker didn't want to be the party pooper when the party had such magnitude. But he couldn't stop feeling betrayed and helpless as the issue was dismissed by the others.

Jo sat down on the edge of the cliff, looking across at the other side of the valley.

"I said my peace for the time being. Can't we just relax and enjoy the fruits of our labour for now? I mean, look at them." She waved her hand at the two races at bitter war with each other merely an hour ago, now carefully mingling and making plans for a joined settlement.

"No, Lola," Vega spoke up from behind them. He, Tali and most of the crew found their way around on foot and joined them. "Look at you."

Joker sat on the ledge next to her, Garrus sat on her other side, and the rest of the people arranged themselves close by - but not in a line. Gabby, Ken and Vega sat down on the ground behind Jo to pat her on the shoulders and others sat down as well, all of them trying to be as close as possible to Jo, to the centre of their universe.

"Got to hand it to you, Jo," Joker said as a peace offering in return. "That's the first time I've seen someone end a war by yelling."

Jo shrugged humbly:

"Learned that in my Hostile Negotiations course at the ICA."

"No, Commander," Ken put his hands on her shoulders from behind and shook her a little. "I'm pretty sure whatever they taught you there, they taught the same stuff to other people as well. Today? Today's just you. No one else."

"Kenneth is right," Tali piped in. "This war has lasted for four centuries. Many have tried. You succeeded. My people and the geth owe you a great debt."

"You're joining us again, right, Tali?" Gabby asked.

"Yes, if you'll have me. I don't know if I can stay here. I look at all this," she waved her hand at the situation before them: the mingling people, the dead Reaper, the landing ships, the beautiful sunset. "And all I see is everyone I've lost. My team on Haestrom, my father, Legion... I'm mourning a geth, how crazy is that?"

"That's not crazy at all," Jo made a small sound, almost like a sniff. "I'd understand if you needed to stay and help your people, Tali, but your home is with me, with us, and we miss you. You belong on the Normandy."

"Thank you, Jo."

Jo exhaled a shuddering breath and let herself fall backwards into the waiting arms of Gabby and Ken. She threw her arms to her sides, touching Tali, Adams, Vega and Chakwas.

"I love you guys so much," she said, letting her emotions out for a moment. Joker patted her thigh lovingly, all the while the rest of the crew reached out to touch her, pat her hair or rub her arms in a collective show of love and devotion. "This is not a clean victory, we've lost a very dear friend today, but it feels elevating nonetheless," she said. "Legion will live on as code inside each and every geth unit out there today. It lives on in a way even Mordin doesn't. I'm sad, but I'm also incredibly happy. It's moments like these that give me the strength to do what I do."

"And we appreciate it," Liara said.

"We appreciate you for the miracle worker that you are, Lola," Vega piped in. Joker watched the sun setting, never taking his hand off Jo's thigh. What a day. Tomorrow he would have to deal with a million other things, a million new problems, but right now they had this.


The world had changed profoundly between morning and bed time. Some of it was Jo's doing, putting it mildly. The geth and the quarians were off to a new start but Jo wasn't in a hurry to order the Normandy off the planet. She planned to stick around for a few days to make sure the peace stuck, to see to Gerrel's trial and maybe to find out a little more about her 'geth pregnancy', as Joker insisted on calling it.

Even though he seemed to have calmed down after their heated conversation on the cliff, he still kept giving her careful glances. Even now, as she climbed under covers on her side of the bed, he remained on the couch, looking at her. Just looking at her.

"I'm not going to grow horns, no matter how hard you stare at me," she said eventually. "Or tentacles, or even cuttlefish arms."

"I know."

"Do you really?" Jo propped her head on her hand to see him better. "Because I have a feeling that you're more than just wary of me now, you're disgusted."

"What? No!"

"Is it this 'pregnancy', as you call it? Does that make you feel like I cheated on you and brought another man's child into your bed?"

"It's not a man's child, per se," Joker said, but he hadn't refuted her, which hadn't escaped her attention.

"But it does bother you."

He shrugged. It was his only way to express his displeasure. After all, she'd already told him she wouldn't get rid of the geth seed.

"For what it's worth, I'm sorry," she said quietly. "Sorry I made that decision over your head, sorry that I made you feel like you don't matter. Sorry that you have to share my body with someone else now. Would it help if I promised to get rid of it as soon as possible once I determine its usefulness?"

"It would help if you got rid of it right now. I had no choice but to get used to EDI always watching, but having a fourth person in our bed? You're asking for a lot here."

"It's not a person, it's not aware of its surroundings, or my surroundings!"

"How do you know?"

"It's just an upgrade right now, nothing more, nothing less. You had no problem with my body consisting mostly of synthetic parts and implants after Cerberus was done with me. Why does this one bother you so much?"

"You couldn't help what Cerberus did to you. This time it was voluntarily."

"We're talking in circles here. Jeff, do you still want me or not?"

The ultimatum got his attention.

"You shouldn't have to ask that question. I always want you."

"Then come to bed."

Joker considered her for another little while, then gave up the fight and joined her under covers. She turned her back to him, as always, and he spooned against her from behind, hugging her shoulders and lying almost on top of her, as was their habit.

"Jo," he asked after a few minutes in silence and darkness. "Why do you always want to sleep in this position?"

Jo frowned and slowly extricated herself from under him. His question made her aware for the very first time that from the day they'd started sharing the bed she had disregarded Joker's sleeping habits and made him do it her way.

"Puppy piles," she suddenly realised.

"Ew!" He nudged her and she nudged him right back:

"Not puppy poop, you asshole. Puppy piles."

"What's that?"

She turned to look at him in the semi-darkness of the room illuminated by the fish tank.

"You really have no idea, do you? A puppy pile is when several people lie in a heap, preferably on top of each other, like a bunch of puppies."

"Yeah, doesn't sound like something a man with brittle bones could safely participate in."

"No, not unless you're at the very top," she chuckled.

"No, I'm definitely not the top dog."

"It doesn't work that way with human puppy piles. The one on top is not the top dog. The one on the bottom usually is."

"How so?"

"Tonight, when the crew joined us at the cliff, do you remember how they all reached out to hug me, pat me, just touch me in some way? That's how a puppy pile works, only with slightly more enthusiastic participants. When a whole group wants to hug and touch someone very special, that special person ends up at the bottom of the pile."

"Okay, makes sense. But what does that have to do with the way you like to fall asleep?"

"I suppose it's all about safety and trust for me. Sleep has always been a valuable commodity. There aren't many people I trust enough to have around me when I sleep. Back in the boot camp my squad were literally the first people in my life that I trusted that way."

"People like Captain Mbala?" Joker asked softly.

"Exactly. So, they got to love me as I did them and several times over we ended up sleeping in puppy piles. Nineteen people on top of me. Pound for pound, so much love, affection, trust and worship - all for me. I wanted it, hell, I craved it. I hoped that at the bottom of a puppy pile I could finally feel safe from the demons that had chased me away from Vancouver. But it had never felt quite... enough."

"Why?"

"Now that is the question, isn't it? I don't know. All I know is that in this puppy pile," she gestured between them. "With you, it's more than just enough. It's perfect. You alone give me what nineteen friends at once couldn't. A safe haven."

Jo looked at her beloved man in the darkness as he mulled over her words. She knew how fascinating he always found her policy of answering his questions exactly. It was not her fault when an answer turned out so mushy. Maybe it would be enough, though, to convince him that she was still herself and not a geth or a Reaper agent.

"Have there been other puppy piles in your life other than at boot camp?" He asked eventually.

"Yeah, a time or two in various N courses."

"And how many lovers have you tried to find this safe haven with?"

"None. I haven't tried. I hardly ever even spent a whole night with a lover before you, it was never like what we have."

For a few moments he was silent, then, as usual, went for the kill:

"How many men have you had sex with before me, Jo?"

"Could take a while to count," she shrugged mischievously. "I'll tell you if you tell me about your lovers before me."

"Deal."

Jo made a point to wait a few seconds before she replied, letting the faces of those men come to her mind. She remembered each of them perfectly, their names and the circumstances that had landed them in her bed, but none of them could be considered a real lover.

"Twenty one," she finally said.

"Is that with the guy you slept with on an assignment or without?"

"With."

"And... one of them was a krogan?"

"Yes," Jo chuckled, remembering that funny conversation with Jack, when Jo told the young biotic that she didn't know what tough is if she hadn't fucked a krogan.

"I can't decide which one to ask you about first."

"You can ask me about all of them once you give me your number."
"Do hookers count?"

"Yes."

Jo didn't tell him that she already knew. He was not the only one with hacking skills, and his past was considerably less classified than hers.

"Five," he said and Jo nodded at the correct answer. "So... the krogan?"

"Oooh, yeah," Jo made herself comfortable for a good story. "A dirty bar on a space station in the Horsehead Nebula. Me - right before the invitation to the ICA. I was a lieutenant and we had some shore leave, ended up drinking ryncol on a dare. There was a group of mercs at the next table, mostly krogans, some turians. They noticed what we drank, tried to rile us up, but we turned it all to a good-natured drinking party and combined our tables. We would have gotten into so much trouble if our CO saw us... Systems Alliance officers fraternising with alien mercenaries..." She smiled fondly at the memory.

"Anyway, when we were all pretty hammered, a Corporal pointed out to me that one of the krogans, their leader's second in command, was eyeing me up like a snack. So, there was something between a bet and a dare involved. I switched to water to sober up a little bit because I was not fucking a krogan when wasted on ryncol. By the time I felt reasonably able to control myself most of the party was already either drunk under the table or had gone home or back to the ship. So, I grabbed the guy and dragged him off to one of the rooms you could rent on that station. Wasn't particularly pretty, but it had a bed. Long story short..." She snickered. "I wanted to toss him on the bed and fuck him, but he wasn't so easily overpowered. So, we both emerged quite... ruffled from that room."

"How long of a story we're talking about?"

"Over four hours."

"And?!" He now eyed her with genuine fascination and anticipation.

"Haven't you watched any krogan porn?"

"Sure, but doesn't porn always exaggerate?"

"Maybe, or maybe I got lucky with that guy. If you really care to know, he was huge. Like my entire lower arm. And the quad..."

"Didn't that hurt?" Joker asked with the quiet reverence and deep fascination of a true porn connoisseur.

"Yeeees," Jo made it sound like a passionate moan. "In a good way. What it really was is fucking intense, especially when he turned the tables, tossed me on the bed and just fucked the hell out of me. It was so much to take in and so hard and deep that I got feverish the next day."

"You say the most beautiful things, babe," Joker gulped. "Is that even a true story or are you trying to make me fuck you hard and deep?"

"Both."

"He didn't force anything on you, though, right?"

"No. There was a moment of uncertainty, however, when he wanted me face-down on the bed. I managed to turn around just so."

"Why, what's the matter?"

"Jeff, you're the only man who ever had me in that position. Never trusted anyone before to turn my back to them, never gave anyone control over me like that. Just with you."

"Could have fooled me, girl. I think I've had access to you from all sides."

"Just because you're so special. That krogan, though... The oddest thing - he seemed quite heartbroken when our ship departed. He said to me that he'd never met a human woman who could take the krogan brand of fucking and not only ask for more but give back in kind. He said he wouldn't suddenly start caring about humans now, but if he ever met me again, he might spare me in a fight."

"Did you ever meet again?"

"No, but I learned his team got killed during a raid a few years later."

Joker took her hand, looking speculatively at her lower arm.

"That's got to hurt," he said dubiously.

"Well, there's a reason I never felt tempted to repeat the experience. It was tough and rough and not what I'd like to do every night."

"What would you like to do?"

Now that was an official challenge and Jo knew when to meet it with her own.

"How hard and deep can you go?"

"Oh, you asked for it, girl," Joker jolted upright and quickly manhandled her to lie face-down on their bed. He tugged her ass up and pushed her knees under her until her head was in the pillows and her lower body high in the air. Her underwear disappeared in record time and as he positioned himself behind her Jo waited for a slam, craved it, needed it.

It never came. Instead she felt his tongue and lips and fingers on her, doing things to her that made her see stars. In mere moments she thought she was floating above the bed in ecstasy only Joker knew how to give her. He made her skin itch, her bones melt, he made her cry and sob into the mattress in helpless bliss, her hands clawing at the sheets. Within minutes she wanted to curse and pray, run and hide from the vulnerability of her position and yet give up more of herself, give everything she had just to get him to push her buttons a little harder and finally send her over the edge.

When he finally took mercy on her, Jo saw stars. Hell, she saw whole nebulas. Her entire body cramped from eyelids to the toes, making her lose reality.

Coming down from such high was a slow affair. When Jo regained her senses a little, Joker was already lying next to her with a shit eating grin, while her body still shuddered in aftershocks.

"Are you crying?" He asked her cheekily, brushing her tousled hair out of her face. Jo hadn't noticed, but he seemed to be right. She let him brush away the wetness from her cheek because she was not in control of her limbs after such space-shattering orgasm.

"You made your point very convincingly," she whispered, swallowing around the soreness in her throat. She must have been screaming.

"My point?" Joker still grinned.

"That unlike twenty one other men you can always throw me face-down on the bed and do whatever you want to me and I'll always come back for a repeat performance."

"Oh, yeah, that was totally my point," He rubbed her back and shoulders. Jo finally found some strength to stretch out her trembling legs, and when she was comfortable Joker happily moved to lie on top of her, just like a puppy pile.

"Why aren't you hard?" She asked.

"I was, but hearing you scream and sob like that did it for me," he breathed against her neck. For a while they were silent, but Joker still wasn't asleep. "I hate it, you know. Arguing with you, doubting you. Wondering if I'm too in love with you and hence too blind to see what's happening. I want to believe in you. You've always defied logic and I've always trusted you because your truth was my truth. I'm going to trust you this time, too. I can't fight this war if my truth is in doubt. So, if you say you did what you have to do because you believe from the bottom of your heart that it was the right thing to do at the time, then that's my truth and this whole fight is over and done with."

"Thank you," Jo said automatically, but she had to fight the tears for a while. Losing his trust was a lot harder to deal with than any self-doubt. Getting his trust back so easily was humbling.