Chapter 41: Screwed the Pooch

Our story begins with the Mallque/Griffin family walking at the Quahog Zoo.

"Okay. I got the whole day planned. First, we see the primates. Then the butterfly house. Then a bathroom break. Then we'll..." Lois said as she list the events that the family are doing today in the zoo.

"Come on, Lois. Can't we all run around in a disorganized fashion?" Frank said as he is sick of Lois's stupid schedule.

"Yeah!" Meg and Persephone said in agreement with Frank's responce.

"Let it go, Lois!" Stewie said.

"I want to see the elephants and ride them like dumbo." Frank Jr shouted from within his stroller.

"Monkeys throw their poop!" Chris said something random.

"This list is stupid man!" John and Tyler moun.

"No. If we don't adhere to a strict schedule, we won't see everything." Lois said as she win her argument until Frank and Peter couldn't take it anymore.

"Kids, gas masks." Peter said as the family minus Lois put their gas mask on, as Frank slam a smoke bomb.

"Run!" Peter said as the family ran away while the smoke clears up leave Lois with Rib to piece of her stupid list with no people to boss over.

(Suck it Lois, you uppity bitch!)

As Cheery instrumental music play as we join the babies and Brian at the petting zoo.

"There you are. Oh, don't be such a pig, Mr. Pig. Now, where's Mr. Sheep? Is he being baaa-shful?" Stewie said Laughing.

"That's right. You're all ripe for parody." Frank Jr said as he and Stewie are enjoying themselves at the petting zoo/

"Can we go now?" Brian said as he want to go somewhere else.

Shut up! I'm having fun. Stewie shouted at Brian that he and Frank Jr are having fun as he pets the pig. Brain then puts animal food in Stewie's pocket.

"Oh, my! Someone's awfully rude. My fanny is not on the menu! What? Oh! Oh, God!" Stewie said as he trys to get away from the animal from biting his butt, but its no used they chase him around the petting zoo.

Now we join Frank, John, Tyler and Peter looking at the mama kangaroo, as peter jump over the fence while leave some food for the baby kangaroo.

"Here, little fella. Come get the food. I have always wanted to do this." Peter said as he goes inside the pouch of the mama kangaroo with Tyler.

Now we see Lois has gather the rest of the family while they arrived at the marsupial's habitat as she spot Frank and John.

Oh, here are the marsupials. Peter, tyler what the hell are you doing? Lois said as she spot Peter and Tyler inside the mama kangaroo pouch.

"Look at us, Mrs. Griffin. I'm Roo! Come on, Ma. Let's go watch Pooh trick the bees out of their honey by pretending he's a rain cloud." Tyler says he and PETER like Roo when he is in the kangaroo's pouch. He is referencing the joey from the Winnie-the-Pooh books.

As Stewie toward Brian, he all mess up and very piss off.

"I am going to kick your ass." Stewie said as the opening show starts.

Opening Credits

It seems today that all ya see

Is violence in movies and sex on TV

But where are those good, old-fashioned values

On which we used to rely

Lucky there's a Family Guy!

Lucky there's a man who

Positively can do

All the things that make us

Laugh n' Cry

He's

a

Fam

-ily

Guy!

End

As Sentimental instrumental music play we join Brian, John and Tyler at the Quahog Dog Park. As brian notice that these dogs are female and he get nerves, so he sits at bench with a random man with his buddies.

"How's it going?" Brian asked a random man.

"Great. Beautiful day." Man said.

"Oh, gorgeous. You know, we sit here and force small talk while they have the time of their lives." John add to this conversation.

"Yeah. Yeah." Tyler agreed as the man walk away, Both John and Tyler went to a ice cream stand to get some ice cream.

Now alone, Brian notice a female dog and Whistles the female dog to come over.

"Here, girl." Brian said as he throws a treat at the dog as he notices her butt next to him. While looking left and right for anybody he went sniffs the genital parts of a female dog at the Quahog Dog Park while Shuddering at this sensation, until everybody look at him.

"Sorry. I thought I smelled...cookies." Brian said just as John and Tyler just arrive on time to drag him away.

"Wow! Does it really smell like...oh, God! She farted, and it went down my throat!" Mort Goldman said as he goes toward the dogs butt, he gets only dog farts.

Now we join at the Mallque/Griffin House as Frank, Peter, Cleveland, Menma, Negi, Quagmire, Rage, Zeke and Joe are playing poker in John and Tyler's room.

"Full house." Peter said as he and Frank wins again at poker.

"Dagnab! That's some poker face you've got, Frank and Peter." Cleveland said a she compaments them at their victory.

"Years of practice, boys." Peter said as they show to have no faces while playing poker.

"Peter, Frank, you both are on a roll. We ought to get you two down to Atlantic City this weekend." Joe suggests they take Frank and Peter to Atlantic City.

"Sorry, guys. Mom is making us visit the in-laws this weekend. I don't know why she even bothers. Pop and Lois's old man have never gotten along." Frank said as he sets a cutaway.

Cutaway

"Hey, I got an email from Mr. Pewterschmidt!" Peter cheered as a fist pops up and punches him out.

Cutaway Ends

"You should find some common ground with your father-in-law, Peter. Figure out what he likes, and study up on it." Joe said as he tells Peter to find a common ground with Lois' father

"Hey, that's a great idea. I'll learn how to act like a rich guy. I'm gonna start right now. Cratchit, you're working through Christmas!" Peter said as he acts upon the advice as if he were Ebenezer Scrooge, he shouts at Bob Cratchit, who's copying letters in the corner, telling him he has to work through Christmas, like in A Christmas Carol.

"But, sir, what of Tiny Tim?" Bob Cratchit asked about his son

Bah! He and his ukulele shall go wanting. Peter said as he reference to Tim the musician, not Cratchit's son.

Meanwhile we join Frank and Peter at news-stand

"Huh-The New Yorker. I bet Lois's dad reads this." Peter said as he opens an issue of the new Yorker.

"I'd be more apathetic if I weren't so lethargic." Frank read a cartoon in The New Yorker.

As Crickets chirping while Frank and Peter stands in front of a newspaper stand for several days attempting to understand a cartoon in The New Yorker.

"Oh, I get it. That's kind of funny." Peter said as he and Frank understands the meaning which said, "I'd be more uncaring if I weren't so lazy."

"Yeah. Can I have a copy of Jugs?" Frank said as he snickers a little, after finally getting the joke, then requests a copy of Juggs.

As we join Frank and Peter at adult education class.

"In French, when you want to say "yes," you say "oui, oui." Teacher said as she translates the mean of yes in french.

"You gotta be kidding me! Oh, my God! That is hysterical!" Peter laughs at the meaning.

"Oh, man! And what do you say for no? "Doo-doo"? Hey, we'll be right back. Me and Pops gotta go take a wicked "yes." Frank said as he and Peter leave toward the restroom.

As Regal instrumental music play, we join our duo at the quahog museum. Peter rearranges a Pablo Picasso painting at the Quahog Art Museum so it actually looks like a face.

The Crowd Exclaiming with comprehension

"It's a person." Guy said about the painting.

Meanwhile we ourselves at the Mallque/Griffin house, as Lois walk towards Frank, Peter and Frank Jr sitting on the couch.

"Peter, would you please fix the bathroom faucet?" Lois asked Peter to fix the bathroom faucet.

"I fixed it already." Peter said that he already fixes it.

"No, you didn't. It's still dripping." Lois said that the faucet still dripping.

"No way! I will give you all my Star Wars cards if it is. Wait, wait. Except Boba Fett. No matter how sure I am, I never risk the Fett man." Frank Jr said as he interrupted them as he bets all his Star Wars card except Boba Fett.

As they walk towards the restroom as they catch Brain masturbating in the bathroom.

"Oh, my God!" Lois Gasping as she notices he has a n issue of kinky canine's coeds; Frank then close the door behind.

"Was he just mastur... Lois asked them about see Brian Masturbating.

"Yes." Frank and Peter said quickly.

"Oh, my!" Lois said in shocked.

"Do we-do we rub his nose in it?" Peter said about rubbing Brian's problem in his face.

As we join Lois take her suitcase toward the car until she bumps into Brain in the living room.

"Oh, hi, Brian." Lois said as she tries to get over what happened yesterday.

"Uh, listen, Lois, about yesterday..." Brian said as he explains himself about yesterday.

"Oh, Brian. It's nothing to be embarrassed about. It's perfectly normal." Lois said as she believes it is normal

"I know. It's just, you know, I should be able to control my baser instincts. But lately I've just been having these urges. Brian said he was having problems with his baser instincts.

"Brian, why don't you come up to my parents' house with us? The fresh air will help you relax. Lois said as she suggests that Brian go with them to get time off.

"I know where I go when I want to relax." Stewie said as he sets up a cutaway.

Cutaway

We see Stewie at a gay dance club with shirtless men.

"I know the guy that owns this place!" Stewie shouted.

"What?" a gay guy asked.

"I said, I know the guy that...I'll tell you later. I love this song" Stewie said as he starts dancing like crazy when music is played.

Cutaway Ends

"Thanks. But I think a quiet weekend here by myself is just the thing I need." Brian said as he decides to relax at home.

"well, have a good time." Lois said as she takes Stewie

"All right, I'm just gonna relax, mellow out, and watch some television." Brian said as he turns on the TV by himself.

"We now return to "World's Sluttiest Dogs" on Fox." Announcer said as Brain sees a show called World's Sluttiest Dogs, which airs on the Fox Network. This is a reference to Fox's tendency to air shows with moderate sexual undertones and sensationalistic reality shows usually starting with the phrase "World's..." followed by a superlative, such as World's Wildest Police Videos.

As we see Brain runs after his family car.

"Hey, wait up!" Brian said until he runs into the bumper.

Right into the bumper. Frank Jr and Peter said as they laughs at brian. They let him in as The family goes to visit Lois' parents.

As Cheery instrumental music, they arrive at Pewterschmidt mansion.

"Hi, Mom." Lois greet her mother by hugging her as Barbara looks at her great grandchild.

"Oh, look at you all. I know someone who's getting a gift certificate for Red robin in his stocking." Barbara said as she dots him with food.

"Thank you, Nana." Frank Jr said in glee.

"Hello, everyone." Carter greet everyone as he arrive at the living room.

Hi, Daddy. Lois said.

"Bonjour, Monsieur Pewterschmidt." Peter greet in French.

"Did Peter have a stroke?" Carter aked lois about Peter's behavior.

"No, Daddy. Peter's cultured himself, like Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman." Lois said.

Oh, so I should treat him like a high-class whore. Carter said as he lites up a cigarette and burns Peter with the cigarette.

"That's fine. Just no kissing on the lips." Peter said while further referencing Pretty Woman. As he sucks it up while John and Tyler now have to deal with another evil old man in the family.

"Would you like a piece of candy?" Barbara asked Stewie if he wants a piece of candy.

"I smell death on you!" Stewie said an insult until he was smack by Frank.

"Behave towards your grandmama!" Frank said like black father would say to his kids.

Meanwhile at Newport docks we join peter and his boys arriving at carters boat.

"Ahoy, Mr. Pewterschmidt. Permission to come aboard?" Peter asking Cart to come aboard his ship.

"No!" Carter said but Peter and the boys come in anyway.

"Thanks. Quite a schooner you got here. What is she, like, a 45-footer?" Peter said as he looks around the boat.

"Peter, I didn't know you were a sailor." Carter question Peter's knowledge of boat and sailing.

"I didn't know you looked so good in shorts." Peter said as he Whistling and purring.

"What?" Carter said.

"You don't have an eye spliced in this mooring line. I'll tie a bowline in there and make one for you. That should hold her." Peter said as the boat gets destroyed.

At the Newport country club we join them inside doing wine tasty.

"And this is a '74 Pinot Noir." Sommelier said as Man 1 just tasted the wine then spit it out in a bucket.

"Lovely." Man 1 said after tasty.

"Carter, did you tell your grandsons-in-laws they are not supposed to swallow the wine?" Man 2 question carter as they see them doing crazy stuff.

Where the hell is that Peter Griffin? He said he'd give me $100 if I took off all my clothes off. Tyler said Slurring while he and Peter were being naked as Frank and John drank themselves unconscious.

As Carter Growling at this moment.

Now we join the family at Pewterschmidt mansion relaxing.

"Thanks for bringing me here, Lois. This is just what I needed." Brian said.

"I'm glad. It seems like everybody's having a lot of fun." Lois:said as we join Stewie and Frank Jr getting messages.

"So, how long are you and your family in town?" Masseuse:

"Uh-uh-uh!" Stewie said as he interrupts her

"No conversation." Frank Jr tells her to do her job as we join Lois and Brain.

"You idiot! I'm never taking you to my country club again!" Carter said

"Look, I'm sorry, Mr. Pewterschmidt." Peter said as he apologies to Carter.

"Your husband is a moron! He walks up to the premier of China and says, "Dong, where is my automobile?" "why did they stop him!" Carter mentions that, at a party at the Newport Country Club, Peter approached the Premier of China and said, "Dong, where is my automobile?" while being piss off at the boy for not stopping line is a reference to John Hughes's film Sixteen Candles.

"Lois, I tried to fit in with your dad's crowd, but it's worse than before. I tell ya, this sucks worse than that time I was on Survivor." Peter said as he sets a cutaway.

Cutaway

We see Peter on Survivor.

"How dare you wash your clothes in our drinking water, Bebe? Now how are we gonna survive in this harsh, unforgiving terrain?" Peter asked as he crashed…into the Price is Right setting, realizing that the island was a fake cutout.

"All right, Donny, make sure the wheel goes all the way around" Bob Barker told to a contestant.

"Oh, no. Headhunters. Am I fired?" Peter asked as he pretended to be scared.

Cutaway Ends

As we join carter at his rose garden as Lois arrives to talk to her father.

"Daddy, Frank and Peter's been trying really hard to get you to like them. Couldn't you give them another chance? Let them join your poker game tomorrow night?" Lois asked him to let Frank and Peter to going the poker game.

"Sorry, honey. I'd rather be stuck in an elevator with Nathan Lane, Gilbert Gottfried, Carrot Top, uh, Sean Hayes... well, you get the picture." Carter said no.

"Please?" Lois begged.

"No! "Carter said it again his answer.

"Okay. You know, maybe later I'll take Mom by the shoeshine place and introduce her to that nice mulatto boy who looks an awful lot like..." Lois said about going to look for a nice mulatto boy for her mother.

"Say, would Frank and Peter like to play poker with us?" Carter interrupts her and cave in an invited Frank and Peter at the poker game.

"He'd love to, Daddy." Lois said.

"That sounds dynamite." Carter said.

As Cheery instrumental music play as Brain walks through the rose garden as carter calls him over.

"Brian, come over here and meet Seabreeze, my prize-winning dog. Isn't she a perfect specimen? I mean, look at these legs, and that beautiful coat, and feel the heat coming off of her genitalia. You could roast a marshmallow. That's how you can tell she's a champion. Go on, put your hand there." Carter said as he pushes brain's paw near her genitalia to feel her heat.

"Oh, boy. That is something." Brian said as he gets off on her.

"Is that something?" Carter said.

"That is something. That is hot." Brian said as he tries to control himself.

"Isn't she the most beautiful dog you've ever seen?" Carter said as he brags about his dog's beauty.

"Yes, yes, she is a beautiful dog. And that's okay." Brian said as he signs in panic.

Now we join Frank and Peter at the billionaires Poker game as they all arrive at the table.

"Gentlemen, this is Peter and Frank. He's the idiot my daughter married and he is the idiot who got my granddaughter pregnant." Carter said as he introduces his friends to Frank and Peter,

"Michael Eisner." Michael Eisner said

"Bill Gates." Bill Gates said

"Bill, Peter's an antitrust lawyer with the Justice Department." Carter said as bill hits him while Frank hits him back.

"Just kidding. He's a fisherman, or some stupid thing." Carter said while noticing that his Grandson in law is strong and very familiar.

"Hey, fellas." Ted Turner said as he arrives.

"Wow! Ted Turner!" Peter said in a surprised tone.

"I told you guys not to invite him." Carter said as he is piss off.

"He must have followed us." Michael Eisner said as The other three wealthy men do not like him and find him annoying.

"Come on, ladies. Are we gonna play cards or what?" Ted Turner said

"Frank, why don't you deal?" Carter asking his grandson to deal.

"Okay, guys. We're playing Texas Hold 'Em." Frank said as he mixs the cards.

"Are aces high or low?" Ted Turner asking about the aces.

"They go both ways." Peter answers ted.

"He said, "They go both ways." Bill Gates giggles as All of wealthy men laugh.

"Like a bisexual." Ted Turner said as he often explains the humor in jokes.

"Thank you, Ted. That was the joke." Michael Eisner said while Frank agree with him.

"I see your bet, Carter. And I raise you CNN." Ted Turner said as he bets CNN.

"I don't think I can..." Carter said as he about to fold.

"Wait, wait, wait. You can beat him, Mr. Pewterschmidt. He's bluffing." Peter said he know that carter can win.

"Peter, he just bet CNN. There's no way he's bluffing." Carter said.

"I'm sure he is. He's got a tell. Listen, if you lose this hand, Pops will divorce your daughter." Frank said while Peter gets nerves.

"I'm in. All right, Teddy. I'll see your CNN with US Steel. What do you got?" Carter said as he is in raised US Steel.

"Two pair." Ted Turner said reveal his cards.

"Ace-high straight." Carter said as he win a poker game against Turner.

"You two sold me out. I could use men like you. How's $1 million a year sound? You two disgust me! Get out of my face!" Ted Turner said as he prompting himself to leave in anger.

"Peter, that's the first time any of us have ever beaten Ted." Carter said.

"Yeah. How did your son in law know he was bluffing?" Bill Gates asked him.

"Well, when he lies, he blinks twice. He then first noticed it when he did that Barbara Walters interview, and he said he'd be with Jane Fonda forever." Peter explain what was Frank was cooking.

"Well, I'm gonna turn in." Bill Gates said.

"Yeah. Me, too. I gotta be at Disneyland before it opens. We're ethnically cleansing the "Small World" ride." Michael Eisner said

"Come on. You guys practically run this country. There's gotta be a ton of fun stuff we could do." Peter said

As The scene in which Peter, Carter, Bill Gates, Michael Eisner & Ted Turner smash the mailboxes and lie on the school field is a reference to the 1993 film Dazed and Confused.

"All right!" Bill Gates said as they all cheered until they were reaching a toll booth.

"Oh, man! There's a tollbooth. Hey, anybody got a quarter?" Peter asking the group.

"What's a quarter?" Bill Gates asked peter about what a quarter is.

"Well, we gotta give him something." Frank said as they reach the booth, both carter and peter moon the guy while they All laughing.

As we join them at a football field looking at the stars.

"Man, looking up at the sky just makes you feel so small." Peter said

"Yeah. I mean, if God created all this, who created God?" Bill Gates asked about god.

"Maybe he created himself." Michael Eisner answer bill's question.

"Or herself. Think about that." Frank said as he made them all think.

"Neat. These guys' deep, Carter. Where'd you find them?" Bill Gates asked Carter.

"He's my son-in-law and the boy is my Grandson-in-law." Carter said

Then a Cell phone rings as Bill Gates answers it.

"Okay, honey. I gotta go, you want a ride?" Bill Gates asked Michael if he want a ride home.

"Sure." Michael Eisner said as Bill Gates' signal for a helicopter to pick him up is the Microsoft Windows symbol, and is a parody of the iconic method of signaling for Batman. The Windows logo's colors are upside-down, as the Windows logo is, from top row to bottom row: red-green, blue-yellow.

"Wow!" Peter said

"Frank, Peter, I actually had a good time with both of you tonight. And I just want to say-well-I'm glad that you, Peter Griffin married my daughter, and you Frank Mallque married my granddaughter." Carter said as Frank and Peter finally wins the respect and friendship of Carter Pewterschmidt, Lois's wealthy and elitist father.

"Thank you, Jesus." Peter said as he set a cutaway.

Cutaway

Peter looks up at the sky.

"Actually, it wasn't me. It was…" Jesus pauses for a moment.

"No, no. It's okay. I'm used to it" Vishnu said.

Cutaway Ends

Now we join the family at the Newport race tract to cheer Seabreeze.

"Having fun, Frank and Peter?" Carter asked Frank and Peter if they are enjoying themselves.

"You bet. we put all our poker winnings on your dog, Mr. P." Peter said.

"Dog?" Brian said as he notice Seabreeze on the tract.

"You got nothing to worry about. Seabreeze is a sure thing." Carter said.

"Seabreeze?" Brian said as he notices her while getting all bother. John and Tyler notice Brian looking at Seabreeze, they started to panic.

"Dad, where are the jockeys?" Chris asked

"They're all in the laundry, son. I'm going Indian today." Peter said something random.

"Come on, Seabreeze!" Lois cheered for the dog.

"Yeah! Come on! Come on! Go! Go! Go!" Peter and Frank shouted for Seabreeze to win.

"Ohaaahhha!" Brian lustfully groans and shuddering as he leaves toward the tract. John and Tyler soon followed him to stop him.

"What's Brian doing? And Why is John and Tyler following him?" Lois said as she sees Brian chasing Seabreeze.

"Oh, my God!" Meg said as The cordiality is destroyed when Brian humps Seabreeze, Pewterschmidt's prize-winning racing greyhound, at the racetrack. While John and Tyler stop brain by kicking him off by the balls.

"He's violating Seabreeze!" Carter said in shocked.

"No, no, he's just awkwardly positioning himself-now he's violating Seabreeze." Peter said as he explains what's happing.

"And John and Tyler are trying to stop by kick him in balls while in coitus. The have succeded!" Frank said as he was watch threw his binoculars.

As Frank Jr and Stewie were Making funky porn-style music.

We join everybody in the living room at Pewterschmidt's mansion.

"Mr. Pewterschmidt, again, I just want to tell you how sorry I am about this. we don't know what came over brain." John said as he apologies for what happeded at the race tract.

"Your dog had better not have ruined my race dog!" Carter said in an angry tone.

"Brian, I am very disappointed in you! I'd turn my back on you, but I've seen what you do in that situation. Now, if you'll excuse me, Carter and I have a polio match to attend." Peter said.

"Get away from me! You and that filthy mongrel of yours! How is she, Doctor?" Carter:

"She's fine. Seabreeze will be able to race again. But, unfortunately, not for another nine weeks. She's pregnant." Veternarian said that what happened today because Seabreeze ends up pregnant, and Brian is immediately blamed.

"Look, Mr. Pewterschmidt, I just want you to know, I am going to do the right thing here." Brian said that he wants to raise the puppies himself.

"You're not doing anything! In fact, you're never going to see Seabreeze again! All of you, pack your things and get out!" Carter said as he disapproves

I am never speaking to you again. Don't worry, Mr. Pewterschmidt. I have a plan. I am gonna go back in time and stop Brian from getting it on with your dog. Everybody stand back. Peter said as he wailing at the attempting to go back in time.

"Oh, boy. Oh, God. Ah." Pter said as the way he falls down and destroys everything is reminiscent of Chris Farley's Matt Foley character destroying chairs and other furniture during his motivational speeches on Saturday Night Live.

At the front door, everyone was leave for piss off carter Pewterschmidt.

"Mr. Pewterschmidt, please? Can we still be pals? See, look. I made a picture of you and me out of glue and macaroni." Peter said

"Wow, Peter! That means a lot to me because you made it." Carter said

"Really?" Peter asked him.

No! Get out of here! Carter shouted at peter to leave as the Veternarian come in.

"Mr. Pewterschmidt! Seabreeze is gone!" Veternarian:

"What?" Carter shouted.

"I can't find Brian, John and Tyler." Lois said as Brian elopes with Seabreeze with John and Tyler follow them.

"Peter, you know what I'm going to do to you if Brian took off with my Seabreeze?" Carter said to Peter on what he going to do to him.

"I think I have an idea." Peter said in a sad tone as he set up a cutaway.

Cutaway

We see Carter stomping angrily on Peter's macaroni photo as Peter starts crying nonstop.

Cutaway Ends

We join Brain, John, Tyler and Seabreeze at a cheap hotel.

"This is the room. The light switch is here. It's mostly for show. There's your Murphy bed. Don't mind the Epsteins. They keep to themselves." Man said as he shows them around while showing a hole behind The Murphy bed as we see the Epsteins.

"We're going to see Bobby Darin at the Copa tomorrow, right, Charlie?" Mrs. Epstein asked Mr. Epstein.

"Bobby Darin tomorrow." Mr. Epstein answer his wife.

This is the bathroom. But watch out. We got some bad roaches here. Man said as he opens the bathroom that show two gangster roaches.

"You're on our turf, man!" Roach 1 said.

"Man, I cut you! I cut you up so bad, you gonna wish I no cut you up so bad." Roach 2 said. As they close the door.

"Those are bad roaches." Brian said about the roaches.

"I blame the schools." Man said.

As Mysterious instrumental music playing as we join Lois, Frank and Brain at the park

"Were you followed?" Brian asked them.

"Don't worry. Lois got a decoy." Frank said as he set up a cutaway.

Cutaway

We see Chris disguised as Lois as he pushes Stewie with a stroller.

"Hi, Lois. Hubba-hubba. Whoa, Lois! You put on a few, huh?" Quagmire asked.

"Well, I never!" Chris shouted as he slaps Quagmire.

"That's all right, honey. I don't think he was the one anyway. Now, let's go get sundaes" Stewie suggested.

Cutaway Ends

"You know, we all really miss you. And Peter talks about you all the time." Lois said.

"Oh, really? Anything nice?" Brian asked anything nice from Peter.

"No." Frank said as peter is still piss off at Brian.

"So, he's still mad, huh?" Brian said.

"Well you did ruined his chance at bonding with his father in law." Lois said as she explains what he did.

"Well, I should go. Here. Take this. It's probably not a good idea for us to meet anymore. Daddy swore he'd track you down any way he could." Frank said as they hug Brian goodbye.

As Dramatic instrumental music play carter asked help from Michael Eisner and Bill Gates, Seabreeze is tracked down to a motel.

"Bingo!" Michael Eisner said.

"I told you she'd lead us to him. Let's call Pewterschmidt." Bill Gates said.

"No, wait. Let's take the jetpacks!" Michael Eisner said as he opens his closet to reveal a pair of jetpacks.

"Cool!" Bill Gates said as they fly toward cater at Newport.

"Man! The people look like ants from up here." Michael Eisner said as he look down are the cities they pass.

"They are ants, Michael. They are ants." Bill Gates said.

Now the cops found the room Brian and Seabreeze were in. As they were photographed being discovered in a closet at the motel by a soldier, just like Elián González, a Cuban boy whose extended family tried to keep him from being returned to his father in Cuba.

"This is Tricia Takanawa reporting live, where police have discovered the whereabouts of Seabreeze, the heiress to the Pewterschmidt fortune. The dognapped has been traced to this sleazy motel. Ah, I see my colleague Tom Tucker is already on the scene." Tricia Takanawa said as she reports the news as she spots Tom tucker coming out his room in the motel.

"Who's that, baby?" Prostitute said as she hug tom until he pushes her in the room.

"Hello, this is Tom Tucker's...evil twin, Todd Tucker out to destroy his brother's reputation. Tom Tucker said as he fakes evil laugh while he takes the mic.

"I'm going back inside to have freaky sex with my prostitute with whom I still have 45 minutes. Now, back to this breaking news." Tom Tucker:

As Suspenseful instrumental music plays as we join our heroes at the kitchen.

"John, Tyler and Brian, please, eat something." Lois asked them to eat something.

"Why bother? My face is plastered all over the news. Your father won't let me see the dog who's carrying my puppies. And my best friend is going to incredible lengths to ignore me." Brian said as we zoom out to show peter was eating in a glass box.

"Brian, don't let him get to you. Peter, come out of that thing!" Lois said as she shouted at peter to get out of that box.

"He can't hear you, Lois. Besides, it's not him that's getting to me, it's your father." Brian said as peter choke for air.

"I'm sorry. I talked to him, but he wouldn't budge. He can be so stubborn. I don't know how my mother puts up with it. He did promise to take good care of the puppies though." Lois said as peter faints inside the box.

"Well, you know, they're not his to take care of. They're Brian kids! And we are gonna get them back. We don't know if our fathers were there for us, but dammit Brian is gonna be there for his kids! We are gonna sue your dad for custody!" John said as he leaves the room while Junior broke the box while he gives Peter the jaws of life.

As Solemn instrumental music playing as we join everyone at the court house for Brian sueing Carter for custody of his puppies.

"Daddy, please, stop this. Brian has every right to see his puppies when they're born." Lois said as she begs for her father to stop this.

"Sorry, pumpkin." Carter said

"I had no idea you could be so cruel. I'll never forgive you for this!" Lois said as she was very angry with her father being such a basterd.

"Oh, you'll be fine. You're just having your period." Carter said as he tells her that she is have her time of the month.

"That's true!" Frank Jr said as Lois looks at him with a very piss off look.

"This court will now come to order." Judge said as the trail begin with John and Brian on the stand.

"John watts, does Brian, like children?" Lawyer said

"he loves children. That's why I'm here. I want him to have the opportunity to raise his puppies." John said.

"Brian, Do you remember an incident at a South Attleboro Denny's in December of 1996?" Lawyer said

"Yeah, I guess." Brian said as we set up a cutaway.

Cutaway

We see Brian eating in a restaurant as a baby is crying super loudly. He gets so irritated that he starts screaming back at the baby.

"(Screaming back) You like that? You like that? (Screaming) You just tune this out, don't you? Well, tune this out! (Screaming)" Brian snapped as everyone was staring at the dog. The baby and Brian screamed back at each other.

"Shut up!" Brian said as he tells the baby to shut up.

Cutaway Ends

Back in court

"Objection, Your Honor! Those parents were tools!" Frank Jr said from the sidelines.

The judge said, "I'll allow it," while Junior snapped his fingers in disgust.

"Look, I was angry because my Moon Over Mi-hammy was overcooked..." Brian explain the events.

"I also have your rental records from the Quahog Video Store. Can you read the last two titles, please?" Lawyer said as he asked John to read the last names of the movies list.

"Son-In-Law and Bio-dome." John said the names.

And who's the star of those films? Lawyer asked Brian the name of the actor who appear in those movies.

"Pauly Shore." Brian said.

"Pauly Shore!" Lawyer said as he brings up sordid details of Brian's past and personality to destroy his chances at trial.

"He's terrible!" Man said from the court about the actor.

"But I rented those for Peter. He got banned from the video store for taping over their movies." Brian rented for Peter two Pauly Shore films, Bio-Dome and Son in Law after Peter was banned from the video store for taping over their movies. Peter taped over a rented copy of Citizen Kane.

Cutaway

We see a couple watching a movie.

"Rosebud" a line from Citizen Kane is played as suddenly the movie shifts to Peter talking.

"It's his sled. It was his sled from when he was a kid. There. I just saved you two long, boobless hours" Peter announced.

Cutaway Ends

"How convenient! Blame it on someone else. Is that the kind of man we want raising these puppies?" Lawyer said

"Peter? You got to believe me, Your Honor." Brian said as peter turn his back on him.

"Uh, Peter, I'm putting together another card game. You in?" Carter asked him about being in the game.

"You want me to play?" Peter said.

"Absolutely. But first I want you to testify against that horny mutt of yours." Carter said as he tries to bribe Peter by stating he'll include him during his activities again if Peter testifies against Brian.

"I don't know if I can do that." Peter said.

"Ooh, that's too bad. Because Bill and Michael really want to see you again. They're coming over later, and Bill's going to bring his Stretch Armstrong." Carter said as he butter ups Peter with Bill and Michael wanting to see him again.

Oh, man! And his arms stretch out to next week! Peter:

Your Honor, Peter Griffin and Frank Mallque would like to take the stand. Carter said as Peter and Frank make to the stand.

Mr. Mallque, which of the following two phrases best describes Brian Griffin? "Problem drinker" or "African-American haberdasher"? Lawyer asked Frank about describing Brian in tow phrases.

"I guess "problem drinker." But that's..." Frank said as he asked what is this question got to do with Brian.

Thank you. "Sexual deviant" or "magic picture that you stare at till you see something"? Lawyer asked Peter about describing Brian in tow phrases.

"Sexual deviant," but that other one's... Peter said as he asked what is this question got to do with Brian.

"Thank you. Isn't it true that you told my client, Carter Pewterschmidt, that Brian is a menace to society and should never be allowed to see his children?" Lawyer asked them about Brian is a menace to society and should never be allowed to see his children.

All the people gasping

As Frank begin to freaky as Carter Nods at him to say yes, while Lois nods the option of no, and Linda Blair from The Exorcist is at Brian's trial, and does her famous 360-degree head-turning and vomiting. As Frank turns to Brian as he see that he need to do the right thing. Frank and Peter talk to each for a bit as they made their decision.

As Suspenseful instrumental music playing.

"Brian should be allowed to see his puppies!" Frank and Peter said as they backs out at the last second and states that Brian deserves to see his puppies.

Frank, Peter, think about what you're doing. Carter said.

"We are. Your Honor, Brian'll be a great dad. Hell, if i was half the parent Brian is, I know that Chris's favorite ice cream is..." Peter said as the trial, to prove that Brian is a competent father, Peter mentions things that he cannot remember about his children.

"Chocolate-chip." Brian and Frank said together.

"And Stewie's favorite bedtime story is..." Peter said

"Goodnight, Moon." Brian and Frank said together.

"And Meg and Persephone's real father's name is..." Peter:

"Stan Thompson and Vegeta Briefs." Brian and Frank said together.

When the latter statement is mentioned, Meg and Persephone were seen listening to music, unaware of the truth.

"I've heard enough. I do believe that Brian would be a successful parent. However, if he was to repeat his actions at the dog track he would be setting a bad example for his puppies. Therefore, I grant Brian custody with the condition that he be neutered first." Judge said as It is decided by the judge that in order to have custody of his puppies, he must get neutered.

"Yeah! You did it, buddy! Congratulations! Oh, man! What does "neutered" mean?" Peter said as he hugs Brian while he was in a state of shocked, Peter asked Frank about "neutered" meaning.

Now we join the family at the Quahog Animal clinic with a message saying "Euthanasia 2 for 1 with coupon as Seabreeze was in labor.

"You're almost there, Seabreeze. Oh, and, also, I didn't bring this up before, but promise me you won't eat any of them." Brian said as he asked her not to eat the puppies.

"You know, Brian, it occurs to me that this is like a Greek tragedy where a man must choose between himself and his children. Of course, you'll be playing the role of Sans Tentacles." Carter said as he brags that he might lose the puppies but he'll get Brian's balls.

"We're ready for you, down the hall." Veternarian said about the other for Brian's other appointment.

"Are you sure you want to go through with this, Brian? Because you could have puppies with another dog. Oh, maybe with a condor! Then you'd have flying puppies. Would you like that, Brian? Flying puppies?" John and Tyler said as they are trying to save Brian and his balls.

"No, Guys. Those puppies in there are mine. And I'll give anything to be with them. Anything." Brian said as he does anything for his kids.

"I am not looking forward to what you'll be like once they do this to you." Frank Jr said as he set a cutaway.

Cutaway

We see a morbidly obese Brian eating chocolates.

"I love chocolate! But I can't eat it, because then I'll get fat. But it's so good!" Brian exclaimed as Peter looks at him all weird.

Cutaway Ends

"Are you ready, Brian?" Veternarian said.

"I guess so." Brian said Just as Brian almost goes under the knife, Lois appears at the hallway.

"Stop! Brian, come quick! Lois said as they ran to the room with Seabreeze. he, Lois, and Peter discover that the puppies are born, but they don't resemble Brian.

"Oh, my God! Those aren't my puppies!" Brian said.

"Well, then whose are they?" Peter asked anybody.

As the puppies All barking while they resemble Ted Turner.

"You! You're a whore! A filthy, filthy whore!" Carter said in shocked as he accuses Seabreeze of being a whore and abandons her.

"You must be so relieved." Lois said as Brain gets to keep his balls.

"Well, actually, I was kind of looking forward to being a dad." Brian said as he hope on being a parent someday.

"Don't worry. There'll be other chances." Frank said as he sees a future with Brian Having two wifes and a litter of kids with one of the being Human.

As Peter, Lois, Frank, Frank Jr and Brian goes home with his testicles intact through the hallway.

You know what's funny? I always thought that dogs laid eggs. And I learned something today. Frank Jr said as he tells his lesson, they made it towards the exist.

Now closing theme music play as the chapter fades to black.

Chapter ends

I hope everyone enjoyed! This is thanking for pen123 and Family Guy Fan writer 15, Thank you all for cutaways, scenes, favoring, having me on alerts, PM ideas. Also Doc X me if you want to help with scenes for next chapter because I need the ideas.