Disclaimer is on the first chapter. Let's continue with the story, shall we?
Almost a month had gone by but for me, it felt forever. I just could function like before. Like when I was in my time or with my mother. I do sleep - but always woke up with nightmare. I do walk around for fresh air - but always with far away gaze. I do eat - but losing my appetite by the day. I have become completely lost. The only thing that haven't been done but did crossed my mind was suicide but I know that if my mother knows, she would be heart-broken. Everyone had been so nice to me. They always make sure that I felt welcome but even that couldn't prevent me from thinking that I don't belong here.
Morgana and Gwen would always drag me to the meadow to admire the beauty of it but it couldn't prevent me from yearning to be with my mother and family in the weekends, having picnic by the river and play in the cold and refreshing water. Merlin and Arthur would always try to make me laugh by making jokes and telling funny stories. While I would smile but it never reach to my eyes. Uther tends to bring me to the library but I couldn't focus on the books for my mind wonders towards my literary unreachable dream. My mother.
My days are filled with sadness and my nights filled with nightmare. Nightmare of me dying again and again. Nightmare of my mother leaving me in the darkness, alone and scared. Nightmare of Lucian comes to finish what he intended to do and every night that happened I would always woke up screaming and lead to other people running into my room, tired and sleepy, checking on my condition, especially Morgana. She was always there for me. Day and night without fail. It made me feel happy and pathetic at the same time.
One day, during breakfast, Morgana suggested we went walking in town. I just nodded, absently agreeing with her suggestion. She smiled happily and made plans with Gwen, her Lady-in-Waiting. Shortly after it, we venture out to the town. As we were walking around, Morgana and Gwen pointing out to this and that shops and telling me its stories, my eyes caught the sight of a small house near the end of the town. I saw a lot of children running around playing but what I noticed the most is how thin they looked.
My legs just walked me towards them and when the children saw me they stopped and looked at me with curious and scared look.
"Can I help you miss?" A little girl of 10 years old asked me. Looking around the small house, I asked the girl.
"What place is this?"
"The Orphanage miss. We're all orphans here." Hearing the words, my eyes glazed with tears. Here are children younger than me, have been an orphans their whole life while I just lost my family. To compare my pain with them, they had it harder than me for they are just children. They can't defend themselves well yet.
'God, how selfish I am in thinking only of my pain while there are others had much more worse pain than me...'
My unseen gazed was interrupted by a small hand on mine. The little girl hold my hand tightly as she can.
"Miss, why are you crying? Please don't cry..." I couldn't stop the overwhelming feeling that I have that I kneel down and hugs the child. Seeing my tears still flowing, the other children ran towards us and we ended up having a group hug. All of my sadness and pain gradually fade to nothing but relief and acceptance.
When Morgana and Gwen found me in their frantic search for me as they thought I had run away and in danger, they were shocked seeing me laughing and having fun with the children of the Orphanage. When I saw them, I walk towards them and hugs them.
"Oh Morgana, Gwen. Please forgive me for being so selfish. I had been letting myself go too deep on depression that in the end I ended up hurting your feelings. Please forgive me." I let them go and looked at their face. Morgana placed her hand on my cheek.
"Katherine, there's no need to apologize. We will always be there to help you and comfort you. We might not be your family and friends that you have know your whole life and we are never going to try and replace their place in your heart but we will try to be the family and friends that you need here. Always." I was moved by her words that a tear run down my face. Gwen wipes the tear and then the children grabbed us and demanding us to play with them. We did play with them until the sun almost fall behind the horizon. We bid our farewell and promised to come to play with them again.
That night, after dinner and refreshing myself, I sat in the bed couldn't lull myself to sleep. Stood up and walked out of the door. I started to roam the castle with occasionally bumped with the guards that are patrolling the castle. I reached the garden and sat on the bench. Looked up to the stars, i was reminded of my mother's and my favourite activity at night. Stargazing.
"Ma... I missed you so much. I wish I could say goodbye for the last time and say how much I love you and how much I appreciate everything you had done for mine and Cassie's sake. Thank you Ma... Thank you so much."
(Listen to Celtic Women – Walking The Night/ The World Falls Away)
Walking the night without you
Skies too high without you
Losing my way on silent roads without you
Long lone streets before me
No voice in the night to warn me
No sound of our songs
To bring you to me
Losing my way
Stars send me astray
Walking the night without you
Blind in sight without you
No song I learn
No way I turn
Brings you closer to me
Searching for songs without you
Moon so cold without you
Longing to be near
Straining to hear
A song from you
Walking the stars without you...
Suddenly, a figure walked towards me from the dark and when it finally in front of me, I recognize its face. Mother...
I couldn't believe my eyes and I thought I was hallucinating.
"Kit Kat, is that you?" Her voice is just like her and when she reached her hand to touch my face, I backed away a bit. Afraid that this was all an illusion but when her hand did really touch my face, I cried. My mother is here. She pulled me into her arms and gave me her signature crushing hugs.
"Oh my baby! My Kit Kat! I thought I lost you... I thought you were dead!" She sobbed.
"Oh Ma... I'm sorry. I did died but I'm alive in another place." She looked at me like I was crazy. Then I explain everything that had happened. Finally, she accepted the fact that I was really gone but she was relieved that I am alive in another place at another timeline.
"Kit Kat, please do not give up on your life. Live and be happy. I can finally move on with my life knowing that my baby is safe." She smiled and hugs me for the last time.
"I love you Kit Kat."
"I love you more, Ma."
"I love you most, my baby." Her hands that were holding me began to fade, indicating our time is up.
"Don't forget what I always said."
"Have courage and be kind."
"Right! I have to go now. Don't worry Kit Kat, we'll meet again one day." With a kiss on my head, she was gone. I thought seeing her gone for the second time I would be devastated again but to my surprise, I was at peace. Complete peace.
It's calling through the dark
It's reeling in the heart
The sound of the pipes on the wind
The strains of the song
Carry me along
Sending me dancing again
From above and below
A sound soft and low
And the music's flowing through me like before
And the song that we once knew
Brings me back to you
Pipes play within me once more
Your songs are in my heart
They like a dart
So come give me your hand
Now and we'll dance tonight
In the blazing light
And the years will fade away
Fade as you play
Play through the dark
Play in my heart
I'm spinning with the sound
There a drumming in the ground
And the humming of the song beneath my skin
And the world falls away
As I hear the pipes play
Sounding the song from within
From within
Your songs are in my heart
They like a dart
So come give me your hand
Now and we'll dance tonight
In the blazing light
And the years will fade away
Fade as you play
Play through the dark
Play in my heart
I sat there in the garden till I saw the first light of a new dawn.
I, Katherine Salvatore, from now on will stand up tall and move forwards. It's time for me to have another adventure in Camelot.
A/N Please support my story and thank you for your time...
