Joker was there first. For some reason that was the thought circling in his head as he landed the Normandy on a beautiful shore and watched the crew unload supplies for a wedding ceremony and a party. Alenko and Liara lent their biotics to deal with most decorative problems while Tali, Karin, Jo, Gabby and Allers were still locked in the loft, fixing an outfit for the bride.

He was there first. Maybe Gabby and Ken started sleeping together before Jo and Joker had, but they had come out to the rest of the crew second. Joker had been the first to come down to the mess hall holding his woman's hand. He'd been the first to go through their appraisal, to deal with their disbelief, scepticism and jokes. He'd been the first to stare down his ill-wishers. He'd been the first.

Why that fact seemed so important now he didn't understand. He was truly happy for the two people he liked very much. Ken and Gabby had been his trusted techies from the day he set foot on the SR2 and they'd been with him through fires of hell. Even Adams wasn't such a close friend. Still, Joker had been the first and he couldn't help a little defiance and perhaps a smidge of envy.

Why hadn't he been the first to come up with the idea? He asked himself that as he watched Jo play with a tiny monkey on the shore. Those little buggers were everywhere and this one had tried to climb into the thruster. Jo had caught it and now the little furball was in heaven, getting fed, petted and stroked. Jo and her small, furry pets... Who would have thought?

But really, Joker should have been the one to come up with the idea of a proposal before Ken did. It was a matter of pride, since Joker was with the most desirable and famous woman in the galaxy. Right? Whenever the news channels would get wind of this, he would be scrutinised. People would ask: why had he waited so long?

His heart slowed down to heavy, deafening thumps in his chest. If he proposed to Jo, would that be the reason? Public scrutiny, obligation, logical next step everyone would have expected of him? He didn't want the public opinion to be the reason, it was just that... He'd been there first. He passed all the tests and went through all the trials.

No, he could not allow the public opinion to influence him in this matter. If he wanted to do this, it had to be done right. It had to happen on his terms, not someone else's. The question remained: did he want to do this?

Would he have ever thought about proposing if Ken hadn't started it?

That was something he would never know now, of course.

It wasn't like he didn't want to get hitched. Ken was right: this war was the time when you had to grab the best thing that's ever happened to you and held on to it with all you had. Jo wouldn't leave him for someone better, he figured out that much, but the day of the final battle would come and if either of them (or both) didn't survive it, would it give him some peace to be able to say: Jo had been his before God, law and the people?

It would. Yes, it would.

He still watched Jo coo to the monkey when his brain went to a whole different world. Commander Johanna Victoria Moreau. If you want to keep something, put your name on it - that was an old truth which Ken was following now. As of tonight Gabby would become Gabriella Donnelly on all records. Joker didn't know if Jo would actually go for the name change, since the name Shepard had become so famous already and he wasn't sure he would want her to, but he had to try the sound of it.

It sounded scary. So scary that his insides froze.

Oh, he just didn't know what he wanted anymore and his thoughts made no sense. It was Ken's and Gabby's wedding day and Joker had to start acting like the best man, which meant in the first place putting his own problems aside. He could still think about all these confusing, gut-wrenching questions some other day, right?

There wasn't another bunch of people out there as efficient as the Normandy crew once they put their minds to something. The sun was barely setting over the alien, red ocean with blue hues, illuminating the planet's sixteen moons, when the beach was ready for the wedding.

Garrus and Javik raided the loft and found Jo's cooling boxes full of good booze, sweets and other luxuries not usually available in space. Karin and, surprisingly, Vega volunteered to try and make a wedding cake. Rodney led his team to arrange seats and tables while the entire navigator team had been sent out for flowers, which Alenko and Liara then arranged on a makeshift arch, under which the happy couple was to be married. They were going for maximum tradition value, or as much of it as they could get out here.

It sure felt weird, standing next to Kenneth by the arch, since his own woman stood right underneath it in the position of power and honour. Thankfully, though, Jo didn't dawdle. Even though she kept smiling like an idiot and even wiped away a tear once or twice, she kept the ceremony short and to the point.

Gabby wore a dress Joker didn't recognise, but then again, Jo obviously had clothes he'd never seen. This one could belong to any of the girls on the ship, though. Gabby looked nice, but he was thrown off by the slightly out of place thick leather bracelet with the name Robert spelled in blue stones on it, which he realised he'd often seen Cortez wear. What was up with that?

The sun just touched the horizon when Jo pronounced them husband and wife and made an official entry in the extranet registry. Earlier Joker had fought a small battle to keep up a steady connection with the com buoy nearby just so Jo would be able to do that, but it had been more than worth it. Then the shouting and congratulations started and the seriousness dissolved into a wild partying mood.

Joker was a little insulted when Jo joined him and refused to take part in the throwing of the bouquet, no matter how everyone tried to get her to try and catch it. Didn't she believe in getting married next? Well, what if he did decide to propose, after all? Didn't she believe in him?

"Girls," Jo wrapped her arm around his waist and chuckled. "This is going to be a bloody battle and none of you would survive going against me. I always win. I'm just being kind to you all by refusing, I don't want any broken bones tonight. Go ahead without me."

"So you're saying that you would have won the bouquet by default?" Tali crossed her arms in challenge.

"Definitely."

"That means that you're the one getting married next, doesn't it?"

"Apparently," Jo shrugged and now - now! - she lowered her eyes to hide a tiny blush.

Oh.

"Well, if that's settled, I'll throw the bouquet to determine who'll get married after you!" Gabby announced, which solved the problem.

Campbell won, though not for the lack of trying from the other women. Joker said nothing on the matter.

"What's with Steve's bracelet?" He asked Jo instead.

"Oh, that," she laid her head on his shoulder and looked like she was about to start purring. "Something blue. You know, that old Earth rhyme? Something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue? The blue is supposed to represent marital happiness and is best when it comes from someone who's happily married. To rub on their luck, so to speak. Steve's the only one who's been married and owned something blue. And, Gabby says, no matter what happened to Robert in the end, they'd been happily married, so it qualified."

Joker nodded. One only had to look at Steve once to realise that what he and his Robert had had, it must have been of epic proportions.

The party started off with the cake, which turned out decent enough, and when it got dark EDI used her mech for a little light show. However, everything was forgotten when Jo put her empty plate aside and climbed onto a rock, where everyone could see her. People's jaws dropped when she started removing her clothes. Joker's breath only released when he realised she was wearing a bikini underneath.

"Once upon a time in Vancouver," she addressed the slightly tipsy, shocked crew. "Lieutenant Vega won a bet against me. He dared me to let everyone see me in a bikini. No worries, I already punched him for that," she said sternly, as people laughed. "But a bet is a bet." She dropped her shirt and removed her pants, now standing in front of the whole crew in a red bikini. "Here it goes, everyone has seen me, so that debt is settled, Vega."

Joker knew for a fact that most men were drooling right now. They'd never seen so much skin of their legendary Commander. Alenko averted his eyes. Vega was the only one who wasn't drooling. He said nothing. All he did was look at Jo. Joker realised that the younger man was pressing his jaws together hard, probably to conceal a trembling lip.

For all that's holy in the world, Joker thought, the man is in love with Jo. Not crushing on her, not worshipping a hero, not lusting after a hot piece of ass. He was genuinely in love. Joker knew the look because he wore it. Ken wore it. Garrus wore it.

Poor sod.

For some reason the realisation didn't stir the fire of jealousy. Jo and Vega were never happening, not as long as Joker was alive. But he did feel some compassion for the other man. His life must be constant hell.

Joker got up from his chair, went to Jo and forcefully pushed her off the rock into the ocean. She landed with a splash, but no shriek. Something so girly was not her style.

"Okay, people," he announced, breaking the tension and turning everything into fun again. "Me and my woman are going behind that cliff for some alone time," he pointed at a cliff wall nearby. "Whoever follows - dies." With that he removed his own clothes and leg braces and jumped into the red water after Jo. In water he was anyone's equal, he could swim like a fish and needed no aid to support his bones.

Once they were both in the water, the rest of the crew suddenly seemed very far away. Jo wasn't playful, nor serious or aggressive. She just quietly followed him around the cliff, where they found a beautiful lagoon. Or it would have been beautiful if it wasn't so dark already. Still, they could see each other perfectly in the soft light of seven out of sixteen moons.

Joker got to the shallower part of the shore, where he didn't have to work to stay afloat, and Jo didn't hesitate any longer. She came to him and wrapped her arms and legs around him like a monkey.

"God, all I want is to be with you," she whispered, running her hands over his neck and back. "Just be with you. Spend time with you without work. Without war. May I stop fighting, at least for tonight?"

Joker wrapped her in his arms. The water supported them and caressed their heated skin.

"We're on a broken, limping ship on an abandoned planet days away from civilization. For tonight I want you to stop fighting all wars," he obliged her. If she needed his permission to let go and relax, tonight was the night to give it.


The water had been fantastic and the view of the sky mesmerising. Jo and Joker had spent several hours drifting on the waves together, skinny dipping, watching the stars, listening to the crew not far away and enjoying the blessed moments of their solitude. Even when they touched, it was slow, lazy, like they had all the time in the world. War, work and other people constantly came between them and sometimes Jo felt like they were an old married couple, perfectly tuned to each other, but without the glow of the new love, while in fact they were barely together for a year. They should still be in their honeymoon phase. The world had robbed them of that. It was sad and disappointing, and it scared Jo because she couldn't be sure that it would change before they died. All the more reason to treasure every second she got to spend alone with the man she loved. After all, no matter what walls stood between them day after day - whenever they had a chance to spend some time alone, the glow of new love came back full force.

When they did get back, the party was mostly broken up, the newlyweds and most of the crew inside the ship and the beach littered with flowers, cups and a heap of towels. Garrus and Tali were walking along the shore together in the distance, Vega was teaching Campbell tango, Allers was asleep with her head on the table, while Rodney and Javik had some sort of a heated discussion over her bent back. Alenko sat alone, nursing a half-full glass.

"Gotta talk to him," Jo whispered to Joker. He kissed her neck before handing her the clothes she'd discarded earlier.

"See you in bed, then," he said before departing. Jo got dressed and joined Alenko at his solitary table.

"Everyone take a swim?" She asked, pointing at all the towels. He nodded without enthusiasm. "What's on your mind?"

"For starters, the fact that I've been informed not to return to my cabin ever again," he said.

"Oh, yes, I assigned the Starboard Observation to Ken and Gabby permanently. You'll be sleeping in the dorm with the rest of the guys from now on," Jo nodded.

"Am I still to be guarded all the time, or do you trust me to be around your people?"

"Well, that depends. Do you promise to be good?"

"Shepard, with you I never know what kind of 'good' you expect. Not only do you still have Cerberus people on your crew, most of your former team members used to be criminals or psychopaths or both," he said with a hint of bitterness.

"At least they have personality," Jo shrugged. Kaidan looked up at her with hurt. "Sorry, that was uncalled for."

"What do you want from me, Shepard? You destroyed my career..."

"Uh-uh."

"Okay, I destroyed most of it myself. Still. You kidnapped me and put me under guard for months, yet I still don't know what you expect of me. Why won't you let me go?"

"Because you're dangerous. Your association with me makes people believe that you can do for them what I can do, so they keep promoting you and giving you difficult assignments. Alas, they don't know that the only thing our association proved was that you can't do what I do. I would have let you go in peace if only you realised that, but you convinced yourself that you're as good as I am and you keep accepting those promotions and assignments. Which means that when the time comes to prove yourself, bad things happen. If only I could be sure that you wouldn't play hero and put people in danger with your incapability, I would have let you go wherever you wanted to go."

"Can I ask you something?"

"Shoot."

"Why me? You've trained many people as your team members, some really mismatched, crazy people. Why do you keep stomping on my ego, and no one else's?"

"Because, believe it or not, I care about you. You remind me of Conrad Verner, but he's just a fool. No matter what I tell him, no matter how I encourage or discourage him, he'll never get what I'm trying to tell him. You, on the other hand, are actually a smart man, Alenko. I'm stomping on your ego because I want you to become someone magnificent. I know you can, or I wouldn't have bothered, like I don't bother with Verner."

Alenko frowned. He couldn't follow her logic. Jo grabbed the last soda from the cooling box and made herself comfortable.

"See, it's like this. I can read people very well and I have a great eye for talent. If I don't see anything special about a person that I can use in my line of work, I don't bother with them. Don't have time for everyone, you know, so I limit the number of people I invest in. Verner is one of those people I discard. But you do have talent and I want you to realise it. Very much so. You could be magnificent. The only trouble is - your talent lies outside the military, outside of Spectres or Special Forces or any kind of warfare. Your talent is not something I can use, or even help you with, like I help Vega. His talent is within the military and I can train him and give him all the tools he needs to achieve his greatness. You - I don't know how to help you, how to train you. I don't have skills that would be useful for your training. I don't have connections to promote you. The problem with you is that you got stuck in your biotic camp and decided that your best option is a military career. That assumption was wrong from the beginning and now it's difficult for me to get through to you. So listen to me now, and take what I say to heart: you need to forget the military. Forget all about it. Become a school teacher. Hell, become a biotics trainer, if you want. Just stay away from armour and guns and fighting. Once you realise that I'm doing all of this for your own good, once you reflect on my words and actions from this angle and see that I'm right, once you find what makes you happy and pursue it, I'll leave you be and be as supportive of you as I am of all my people. Do you still follow me?"

"I think so, but Shepard, we're going into a war. Everyone who can fight should help. How can I drop it all and stay out? I need to contribute."

"Uh, didn't I tell you once already that you always make a face when you have to do violence on a battlefield? You're not made for fighting Alenko. I would never allow Verner into an actual fight because he would only endanger himself and his own team, and neither am I letting you. You're not helping any in a fight, you're just getting in a way, endangering everyone around you. That's not help, that's reckless stupidity. When I say you should forget the military and become a school teacher, I mean it literally and right now."

Alenko was silent for a long time. He absently turned his glass around while thinking about her words. Garrus and Tali disappeared in darkness. Campbell tripped and let Vega catch her while giggling wildly. Jo waited patiently. Alenko's future depended on the decision he was about to make.

"Allow me to make it a little easier for you," she said when she saw how painful his thoughts were by the lines on his face. "You can't be me. That's not an option, no mater how hard you try. But you don't have to be me to have my respect and approval. Joker wouldn't survive for twenty seconds in a battle at my side, but he has his own talents and I respect him from the bottom of my heart. Liara is a useless fighter, but she is brilliant at what she does and I respect her. I could never be a doctor or a techie, but I applaud the brilliance of those crew members who use their talent to help the community. In short, I have my skill set and you have your own, like everyone does. I will crush you and stomp on you as long as you try to be me, as long as you ignore your own talents in order to imitate mine. Becoming another Shepard is not the way for you to earn my respect. Becoming Kaidan Alenko is the only way. Follow your own dreams, strengths and talents. When you do and accomplish something for your own sake, not mine, then you'll have my respect by default. By just being who you really are."

"Damn you, Shepard, why do you have to be so brilliant with words?" Alenko pressed through clenched teeth. He was holding back a sob, she realised.

"It's one of my talents," she shrugged with a grin, giving him a chance to recuperate. "But I'm not monopolising that one."

"Oh, thank you so much!"

"So, what's it gonna be?"

"I'll need some time to think about what I should do next. I'll talk to you again when we arrive at the Citadel. Will you... let me go if I have a plan?"

"Your freedom was always up to you alone, Alenko. But I will keep an eye on you."

He nodded and Jo got up to go back inside the ship. She had a red-haired, green-eyed, foul-mouthed bundle of hotness waiting for her in her bed. The thought alone made her blood boil.

"Hey, Shepard," Alenko called quietly, making absolutely sure that no one else heard him. "I do want to make you proud. Always did, but never knew why you reacted differently to me than to everyone else."

"Then make me proud. I can't wait for it to happen, I swear to you," she nodded solemnly and left him to his thoughts. Her own thoughts already went somewhere very different: a dark cabin, blue light from the fish tank, a hard and cold metal wall against her back and the hot and sweaty body of her lover, fucking the living lights out of her against that wall. Oh, sometimes life was just perfect.