Chapter 47: Stuck Together Torn Apart

Opening Credits

It seems today that all ya see

Is violence in movies and sex on TV

But where are those good, old-fashioned values

On which we used to rely

Lucky there's a Family Guy!

Lucky there's a man who

Positively can do

All the things that make us

Laugh n' Cry

He's

a

Fam

-ily

Guy!

End

Our episode begins with the Mallques/Griffins go to a bulk store name CostMart

"Gosh, some of this stuff, you wonder who would ever need it in bulk. I mean, like watermelons." Peter asked as he point at the 12-pack of watermelons ale.

As Gallagher is seen buying a 12-pack of watermelons at both Frank Jr and Peter shocked.

"Touché, CostMart." Frank Jr and Peter said in response.

"John, Tyler and Brian, will you watch Stewie for a minute?" Lois:

"Sure." Brian and the boy said yes to her command.

And please keep a close eye on him. Remember what happened last time. Lois said as she sets up a cutaway.

Cutaway

We see Stewie with a normal head bouncing on the bed.

"Stewie, get down before you hurt yourself" Brian demanded.

"Shut up! You're not my mother!" Stewie shouted as his normal head has turned into a football.

"Good God! Are you alright?" Brian asked.

"Fine. Why do you ask?" Stewie wondered.

Cutaway Ends

Now back at CostMart with Peter and Frank Jr at a free sample on sausages.

"Mmm, delicious. I will seriously consider purchasing this product." Peter and Frank said as they leave, then Peter 2 and Frank Jr 2 with their glass and funny noses.

"What have we here? May I partake?" Peter 2 and Frank Jr said Exclaiming approvingly of the food they ate. Then a samurai Peter and Frank Jr appeared.

"Ah, Sausage-san. Plan to buy great amount for samurai buddies." Samurai Peter said as Samurai Frank Jr just bow in response.

"Sir, you don't have to keep moving to the back of the line. You can have as many as you want. They're free." Clerk said as he doesn't like these twos behavior.

"What are you talking about?" Samurai Frank Jr asked him as Frank Jr come in.

"Can I have some more sausage?" Frank Jr asked the clerk about having more sausages.

"Yeah. Me too?" Frank Jr 2 asked as he too wants more sausages.

"Ooh, they got a great deal on pianos if you buy a four-pack. Meg, help me get these down." Lois asked her twin daughters for help on moving one black piano.

"Lois?" Ross said as Lois runs into an old boyfriend, named Ross Fishman.

"Oh, my God!" Lois said piano crushes Meg and Persephone on its weight.

"I can't believe this. Ross Fishman, is that really you? I haven't seen you since college. How are you?" Lois asked ross on what going on with his life.

"Great, great. Wow, Lois! You haven't aged a bit." Ross comments Lois on her looks and she blushes.

"Oh, thank you. This 12-pack of fungicide is for my daughters, Meg and Persephone." Lois said as she introduces her daughters to ross while ignore their condition.

"Help us, Please." Persephone asked everyone for help to get rid of this piano off them.

As Gallagher crushes melon on Meg's head; all laugh until Frank and John appear and grab Gallagher's hammer and bonk him on the head, everyone laughs at that. Then they got the piano off of the Griffin twins and they walk away.

"Those two are funny." Man 1 said in the crowd.

"That was great." Man 2 said in the crowd as well.

"Is it 1981?" Man 3 said in the crowd as he asked about the year.

Now we join stewie walking around the store while inhaling a tasty smell for babies. As Stewie finds super glue to eat.

"Ah, yes, there you are! You people at the Industrial Adhesives Corporation certainly know how to make a tasty glue. Well then, let the banquet begin!" Stewie said as he tries to taste some.

"Whoa, whoa, what the hell are you doing? Don't eat that." Brian said as he, John and Tyler arrive to stop him.

"Oh, for God's sake! Don't be such nerds!" Stewie said an insult to the trio.

"Look, we are supposed to keep an eye on you. If Lois sees this, she'll kill us." John said

"You can let go of my hand now." Stewie asked Brian to let go of his hand.

"You can let go of mine." Brian said as he asked stewie to let go of his hand.

As they Both grunting trying to pull themselves apart of each other until they are Panting from exaction whiel bumping into Maddie and Rosie in the mall. As Dramatic instrumental music as Frank Jr, John and Tyler realized that Stewie, Maddie, Rosie and Brian hands are instantly joined together by the super adhesive industrial glue which never comes unstuck.

"Oh..." Brian said the first part of been doomed.

"...crap!" Stewie said the second part of been doomed.

Now we join Lois and ross at the clerk ale to pay for the stuff.

"Ross, I can't tell you how wonderful it's been to see you. It's a crime that it's been so long. We were so close." Lois said as she enjoys meet with her old boyfriend.

"Maybe we could get together for a cup of coffee, catch up." Ross asked her to meet again.

"Well...I don't know, Ross. I'm married now." Lois said as she is worried Peter's jealousy will prevent her from meeting up with Ross again.

"Well, so am I. Does that mean we can't stay in touch with old friends? Tell you what. If you change your mind, here's my card." Ross said as he gives her his number.

Now we join Jeremy the Terminally ill Boy, as he picked out new kidneys at CostMart with his mother.

"Hey, look, Dad! They have 12-packs of kidneys!" Chris asked his father about the 12-packs of kidneys.

"Yeah, but you got to buy the cooler, too. That's how they get you." Peter said as stores always separates stuff that are important for people and makes them buy both separately.

Now we join ourselves at the Mallque/Griffin household with Frank Jr, Maddie, Rosie Brain, Stewie, John and Tyler in the living room.

"Okay, thanks." John and Tyler close their call.

"Well?" Stewie asked for the solution of their problem.

"The good news is the same company makes a solvent that'll get us unstuck. The bad news is it takes two weeks for delivery." John said as Now he and Tyler spend the rest of the episode trying to hide Brian and Stewie predicament until the release solvent arrives.

"You're telling me that we're stuck like this for a bloody fortnight?" Stewie said in shocked in waiting two weeks for the solvent.

"You cannot tell Lois about this." Brian said to stewie as they hide the problem from Lois.

"Oh, and what if I do?" Stewie asked them.

"We'll show her the pictures of you wearing her wedding dress." Tyler said as he blackmails Stewie to not tell or he told him he would show Lois the pictures of Stewie in a wedding dress.

"You said there was no film in that camera!" Stewie shouted at Brian for lying to him. As Lois arrives in the living room.

"Come on, Stewie. Time to change your diaper." Lois said as she needed to change Stewie's diaper.

"Mind if we watch?" Brian, Maddie and Rosie said as they all in stewie and Frank Jr room as Lois changes stewie's diaper.

"And I'm just ashamed of myself that I let Peter's jealousy prevent me from rekindling an old friendship just because it was with a man." Lois said as she sick's of Peter's behavior.

"Yeah, Peter's not exactly the most understanding guy with you and other men. Like that time at the movies?" Brian said as he set up another cutaway.

Cutaway

"(Stammering) My, this is terribly awkward. But I wanted to tell you something. But I don't know. I seem to be so charmingly befuddled" Hugh Grant said.

"Oh, that Hugh Grant is so handsome" Lois complimented.

"Oh, is that how it is? Come here, you home-wrecking b***!" Peter shouted.

"Don't do it, Dad! He's bigger than you!" Chris demanded, but Peter punched the movie screen.

"And when you went to that concert?" Brian recalled.

"Thank you, thank you very much. This next one is for all the ladies out there" the singer said as Peter arrives and punches him.

"And then there was last Saturday night" Brian added.

"Look at that handsome man" Lois said.

"You son of a b***!" Peter punches the mirror.

Cutaway Ends

"I can't let Peter's irrational emotions run my life! I'll call Ross and see if it's not too late to take him up on his offer. Would you mind finishing up?" Lois asked Brian to finish up stewie diaper change.

"Uh, sure." Brian said as he begins to change stewie.

"Yes, yes, do you like cleaning my doodie, Brian? Say it. Say, "I like cleaning your doodie, Stewie." Ha! Don't forget the taint. Stewie said as he insults him while everyone else rolling their eyes by that joke.

No we join Frank, Frank Jr, Chris and Peter watching Magnum, with pi music and titles on TV.

"TC, you fly the chopper around the island. I'll go talk to the beautiful women. And Tattoo here will keep an eye out for the kidnappers." Magnum said as he gives his friend his assignments

"Higgins." Higgins said as he tries to correct Magnum of his name.

"We'll need to have security unlock the gate for me out front. Okay, Tattoo?" Magnum said as he directs Higgins of his assignment while saying the wrong name.

"It's Higgins." Higgins said as he tries to correct Magnum of his name.

"What?" Magnum said in response.

"The name is Higgins." Higgins said as he tells him his real name until he was slaps by magnum.

"What's your name?" Magnum questions Higgins in a piss off tone.

"Tattoo!" Higgins said as he gives up and said his new name.

Now we join the family back on the couch.

"Oh, um, Peter, Guys, I'm just gonna go out for a few hours. So, I'll return in a few hours." Lois said in very guilty tone as she leaves towards the door.

"Yeah, we'll do it when this is over." Frank said to that response.

"Hey, Lois, can you grab me a beer? Lois?" Peter asked Lois for a beer but no beer.

"Dad, I think she went out." Chris said to his father questionable response.

"All right. Then you be Lois." Peter said to Chris to be Lois.

"Okay." Chris said in response of the question as he takes the roll of Lois.

"Hey, Lois, can you grab me a be-oh, my God! You've really let yourself go!" Peter said as he insults Chris about his weight.

"Well, maybe if you bought her some nice clothes once in a while!" Frank Jr said to that response while Chris cries by his father response like a woman.

As Siren wailing and everyone in the house freaks out to see outside was a police van.

"Frank Mallque and Peter Griffin, we know you both in there! Come out with your hands up!" Joe said as both Frank Mallque and Peter walk out the door.

"Fooled you!" Cleveland said as he, Menma, Negi, Quagmire, Rage, Zeke and Joe appear inside of the Police van, they All laughing.

"Yeah, you sure did." Frank said to that response.

"What the hell is this?" Peter question them about the van.

"It's the new police surveillance van." Zeke said to Peter question.

"We're going on a beer run. Want to join us?" Joe asked them about joining them for a beer run.

"Nah, we quit drinking. Frank thinks we might be alcoholics." Peter said very sad tone while Frank nods.

"What? Cleveland, Menma and Negi said.

"Oh, my God!" Joe, Rage and Zeke said in horror.

"Oh, man!" Quagmire said in horror.

"Ha-ha-ha-ha, we Fooled you! Come on, let's go drink till we can't feel feelings anymore." Peter said as he and frank join in this beer run.

Now we join the gang inside the van as Joe gives them a tour of the latest police tech.

"This van has the latest in law-enforcement technology. Watch." Joe said as he activates the law-enforcement system.

"Suspect! Suspect! You have the right to remain silent!" Van said as it arrests peter with cuffs.

"Sweet." Peter said as he is being let go.

"Hey, let me try. Cleveland said as he goes towards the machine.

"Cleveland, don't!" Zeke said as he warns Cleveland about the system problems about black people.

"Minority suspect! Minority suspect! Danger, he's got a gun!" Van said as he beats Cleveland up and plant a gun on him for evident.

"Oh, ow, ow! Oh…" Cleveland shouting in pain as he being assaulted by wooden bats.

Now we join then gang leaving the quahog mine-mart with food as the van was gone.

"Oh, no, the van's gone!" Quagmire said in horror.

"No, no, it's got a cloaking device that disguises it as two homeless guys fighting over a wedge of cheese." Rage said as he deactivates the cloaking device that disguises it as two homeless guys fighting over a wedge of cheese that now reveals the van.

"Hey, Peter, isn't that Lois over there in that diner?" Quagmire said as he points at Lois being in a diner.

"What would Lois be doing at a diner? We already ate." Peter asked this vey question.

"Take a look." Joe said as he hands Peter his binoculars.

"Oh, my God! That is Lois! Why the hell would she... Whoa! I can see your skin cells!" Peter said as he sees Lois until he turns and looks at Joes skin cells.

"I saw you on the cover of Scientific American. You looked great." Cell 1 said to cell 2.

"Oh, please! Where my eyes are half-closed?" Cell 2 said as he complains about himself closing his eyes in photo.

"God! Just take the damn compliment." Cell 1 said as he gives his cell friend the business.

Now we join everyone in the van as they spy on Lois.

"What the hell is Mom doing with another man?" Frank asking on why is Lois with another man.

"Is it possible she's a whore? You know, just on weekends to help pay for her mom's dialysis? As in my fantasy? You know what? Let's just start over. Hi, I'm Quagmire." Quagmire said something perverted and he makes an excuses to reintroduce himself to stall time.

"I wish I knew what she was saying." Peter asked for some way to find out what Lois is saying.

"I think I can help." Joe said as everyone enter the van to move the van close to Lois and Ross location.

"Your wife and children are beautiful. It's so good to catch up, Ross. I'm glad I called." Lois said as she is glad she came.

"I'm glad you did, too. Was your husband okay with you coming here?" Ross asked her about her husband.

"Uh, yes, he turned out to be just fine with it." Lois said her answer quickly.

"All right. Let's see what we can pick up." Joe said as he active the mic to listen in to Lois and ross conversation.

"Please don't spit in my eggs. Please don't spit in my eggs. "Thank you for the eggs!" God, I hope he didn't spit in my eggs!" Mort Goldman conversation was heard by the gang and Joe turn the dial to find Lois and Ross conversation.

"Hey, Doug. I just spit in that guy's eggs." Waiter said as he is the one spit in Mort's eggs and he was heard by the gang. Frank just thought to get Mort some payback later on.

"Our armies are ready. Soon it will be time to leave the sewers and strike back at the humans in the overworld." Rat said as he was heard by the gang and Frank just add the rat in his shit list. Until They finally found Lois voice in the mic.

"I'm glad we both found someone to make us happy. I really enjoy being with you, Ross. I'm having a great time." Lois said that she enjoys being here with his friend.

"Oh, my God! That's who that is. Ross Fishman, Lois's old boyfriend." Peter said as he realized who Ross Fishman really is.

"I think we're losing them." Joe said as they loss their signal.

"Wait! I got to hear more!" Peter said as he moves the dial to get back on Lois conversation.

"Mr. Griffin, the power's not supposed to go that high!" Zeke said as he tries to stop him until everyone hears someone familiar who is in the van with them.

"Damn, this itches! I wonder who gave it to me. Probably that skank who needed a ride to the gas station! Last time I do somebody a favor!" Quagmire thoughts were heard by the gang as they look at him for more info.

"Oh, God! They must have heard me! Oh, God! I can hear me!" Quagmire thought said as he panics while he tries to distract them with something else

"BA DA-DA-DA-DA-DA BA-DADA BAMPA, BAMPA!" Quagmire hums 'The Stars and Stripes Forever'? in his mind so they can't hear more of his thoughts.

Now we join ourselves in the room of Frank Jr and Stewie as they hear Moist noises. As Frank Jr and Stewie wake up to find Brian licking himself down stairs of his body.

What the hell do you think you're doing? Stewie Exclaiming as Frank Jr just made a puke face.

I'm cleaning myself. Brian:

"You were clean 15 minutes ago!" Frank Jr said as he tries to go to sleep.

"Now you're just on vacation." Stewie said as he too tries to sleep as well.

So, Lois is seeing old boyfriends, huh? Well, two can play at that game. I just gotta find my little black book. Peter said as Dramatic instrumental music is playing in the background.

While Peter tries to find his little black book, he uses a device similar to the ark-finding amulet from Raiders of the Lost Ark.

Ah, here it is. Peter said as the scene fades to black.

As we now join Peter and Frank outside a random house, while Peter rings the doorbell.

"Brenda?" Peter said as he and Frank look shock on how see look.

"Peter! Oh, my God! It's been 25 years!" Brenda said as Frank Just puke.

"Yeah. I guess you're married now, huh?" Peter said as he rubs Frank back to see if he is finish.

"Yeah." Brenda said as a baby come out of her while crying.

"Ricky, you were right! I was pregnant!" Brenda said as both Peter and Frank just walk away.

Now join Peter and Frank outside a random house, as Frank rings the doorbell.

"What's up, Pete? Long time no see." Peppermint Patty said as Frank look shock to see one of many character from the peanuts.

"Gosh, Patty! The years have been great to you." Peter said as he complements her looks.

"Well, I owe that to my better half." Peppermint Patty said as Marcy come to the door to kiss Patty.

"Who is it, sir?" Marcy said as Frank rolls his eyes sarcastically.

"I knew it!" Frank said it as he knew these characters were gay along.

Now we join the duo at the last person's house on peter's little black book, as Frank rings the doorbell and the door opens to see the attractive but mentally unstable ex-girlfriend of Peter Griffin who appears to be wearing her prom dress.

"Uh, Angie?" Peter said as he looks at her appearance in shocked.

Peter? Oh, my God! Come in and bring your friend! Angie said as she lets them in to see the house has pictures of peter in his youth.

While Eerie instrumental music is playing in the background as Frank looks around to see nothing but pictures of Peter in his youth and then notice a shrine of his father in law.

"Uh, what is all this stuff?" Peter asked her about he is seeing here.

"Peter, I have been waiting for this moment for 25 years! I haven't washed my hand since you last touched it." Angie said as she is so obsessed with Peter that she never washed her hand after Peter last touched it.

"Oh, my God! That's disgusting!" Frank said as he holds on his lunch in his mouth.

"And look! Look! I left the toilet just as it was the night we went to prom. It's the little piece of you that's kept your memory alive. But now I have you back..." Angie said as she explains kept Peter's feces in the toilet after he defecated in it on prom night and did not flush. Frank warns peter quietly to leave and when Angie turns around they both flees.

"Oh, well. At least I still have you. You hungry?" Angie said as She talked to it as though it were alive and sprinkled fish food on it.

Now we join Brian, Stewie, Frank Jr, John, Tyler, Maddie and Rosie in the car drive toward home as Siren wailing.

"Oh, crap! All right. Let me handle this. Brian said to the gang to be quite as he will handle it. "

"You were going 65, fella. That's 10 miles over the...why are you holding that infant's" hand? Cop asking question about Brain speeding until he notice Brain holding hands with Stewie.

"We met on the Internet. Stewie said a joke about him and Brain being gay.

"Shut up!" Brian and the gang said as they tell Stewie to shut up.

"Yes, he lured me down to the park with promises of candy and funny stories." Stewie said as he tells the cop that Brian is going to rape him until Maddie bitch slaps him to silences him.

"Officer, you ever hear of that super industrial adhesive?" Frank Jr asked the cops about the super glue that stick people together.

"Actually, yes, we have." Cop 2 said as he appears to be stuck on his partners back.

Now we join the family eating at the dinner table in the kitchen as Meg notice her father doing something.

"Dad, how come you keep looking at the door?" Meg asked her father as to why he is looking at the window.

"Oh, Meg. You and your drugs." Peter said something stupid to distract her while rubbing her head until he hears The Doorbell rings.

I wonder who that could be. Peter said as he leaves the table to answer the door to revel a hooker.

"Peter Gifford?" Hooker asked peter if he is her costumer.

"My God! Dora, my old girlfriend. What a surprise that you would want to look me up! You always thought I was so handsome." Peter said as he brags about having and awesome love life in front of his family which piss off Lois for he hires a hooker.

"Peter, can I see you in the other room?" Lois said as she calls him to the other room, it's shown a room that is supposed to be Lois' piano room, with a fireplace. Meanwhile the hooker sits down as Brian, Stewie, Frank Jr, John and Tyler were discussing about what to ask the hooker about.

"Yeah, go. Say it." Brian said to Stewie to asked her.

"Should I?" Stewie asking Frank Jr his response.

"Yeah." Frank Jr said his response.

"I can't." Stewie said as he is nerves.

Just say it. John said as he tells him to ask her the question.

"Okay. How far can you get this banana...I can't say it. She's looking right at me." Stewie said as he chickens out for her looking at him.

Meanwhile in Lois' piano room, Frank Listens in of Peter and Lois argument.

"Peter, what the hell is this about?" Lois asked him about the hooker.

"I'll tell you what it's about. It's about you and Ross Fishman!" Peter said his responses.

"What?" Lois said as she is shocked as to why peter know about her hang out with Ross.

"I saw you with him the other day breaking the fifth commandment! Congress passes these things for a reason, Lois!" Peter said as he explains that he was spying on her.

"That's it! Peter, you're suffocating me with your jealousy. I can't take it anymore. I'm calling a marriage counselor. I can't even have coffee with a friend without you freaking out! What is your problem?" Lois said as she can't take it anymore of Peter's jealousy p.m.'s.

"You want to know what my problem is? You want to know what my problem is? I love too much!" Peter said as he explains that he loves everything to much.

"Peter, what are you talking about?" Lois ask him on what he is talking about.

"Don't you see, Lois? We're alive!" Peter said as he says something crazy.

"Peter, you're scaring me!" Lois said as she is frightening by Peter's behavior.

Good! Embrace the fear! Dance with me, Lois! Dance the dance of life! Peter said as he dances across the room until he crashes into china cabinet.

"Yeah, maybe you should call that marriage counselor." Frank said as everyone nod while the scene turns to black.

Now we join Peter and Lois at the quahog marriage counseling building with Frank Jr, since he wants to help them with their problems.

"Mr. And Mrs. Griffin, I have reviewed your situation and I have a suggestion." Marriage Counselor said as he reviews them.

"We're willing to do whatever it takes." Lois said as she wants to make this work.

"I'd like to put video cameras in every room of your house so that I can observe your uncensored behavior." Marriage Counselor said as he suggests that he watches recorded films about the family.

"Wow! Just like that show, Big Brother." Frank Jr said it out loud.

"Except somebody'll be watching." Peter said as he finishes Frank Jr statement.

One week later

"All right. I've looked through all the video footage. I've compiled what I believe to be an accurate cross-section of your home life. Here are the results." Marriage Counselor said as he presses play on the tv while it shows them what happen last week at the Mallque/Griffin household.

It shows Peter and Frank Jr watching tv while Chris was playing ball in the room until he brakes vas.

"Peter, give Chris a spanking." Lois said as she takes the basket of clothes upstairs.

"Okay. Frank Jr, I'm watching the game. You know what to do." Peter said as he gives orders to Frank Jr to give Chris a spanking. Which he does as Chris pulls down his pants and lays on Frank Jr legs as he gives Chris his spankings.

This hurts me more than it hurts you. Frank Jr said as he spanks Chris

"Ow, Ow, Ow, Ow!" Chris Shouting in pain by Frank Jr spankings.

Now they are watch Frank jr with his parents, Chris, John, Tyler Persephone, Peter, Brain and Stewie reading Lois diary in Peter and Lois's room.

"Dear Diary, Kevin is so hot. Today he was out in the yard raking leaves. God, I wish I was young so he'd throw me into that pile of leaves!" Frank reading aloud the entry of Lois Diary.

As everyone in Peter and Lois room All laughing at that entry.

'Hey, what's everybody... Oh, my God! My diary! I hate you all!' Lois wailing as she runs away in sadness meanwhile Frank and Peter crack opens their drinks.

"Keep going." Peter said as he tells Frank Jr to keep reading the Diary.

Then they see Frank, Frank Jr, Peter and Chris in grass skirts in the living room doing A Hula until Frank Jr slaps both Peter and Chris.

"No. It's step-hip-step-pivot. Are you trying to piss off the volcano?" Frank Jr said as they mess up the dance to please the volcano.

Now they see Brian and Stewie bathing together with John and Tyler supervisory.

"Get my back, would you?" Stewie said as Brain rubs his back with a sponge.

"Oh, that's it. Ooo, that feels good." Stewie said as he feels relaxes while Brian also relaxes with John rubbing his back while Tyler does John's back as well.

Now we join Peter in the kitchen trying to open a jar while Lois is putting in groceries.

"Hey, Lois, can you give me a hand with this jar?" Peter asked for her help in opening this jar.

Oh, For heaven's sake, Peter! Lois said as she opens the jar which Bees swarm from jar and Lois screaming trying to run away.

"Ha-ha-ha-ha, Gotcha!" Peter said as lois rolls on top of the tables until she falls off. Then the tv turns off by the Marriage Counselor and Frank Jr was asleep by most of the taping.

"To be honest, I've never seen such dysfunction. Mr. and Mrs. Griffin, what I'm about to suggest may seem unorthodox. I recommend a trial separation, during which time I advise that you date other people. I believe this will help you gather perspective on your marriage." Marriage Counselor said After a week of filming, as he comes to the decision of splitting up for a short time, to gain perspective on their marriage.

"Date other people?" Lois said in shocked of separating her from peter and their family.

"Oh, my God!" Peter said by same result.

"I realize this is very upsetting for you. That's why I've invited Howie Mandell to lighten the mood by blowing up a surgical glove with his nose." Marriage Counselor said as he calm them down.

As Howie Mandel enters and does his surgical glove routine, then passes out, cuts his head on the table, and begins bleeding on the floor. Which woke up Frank jr by the noise.

"Ha-ha-ha-ah!" Frank Jr Laughing at him on the floor.

Now we are back at the Mallque/Griffin house as peter is pack up to leave to gain perspective on his marriage.

"Boy, this feels really weird, Lois." Peter said as he feels weird leave home.

"I know. But maybe the doctor's right. This time apart could be good for us." Lois said as she calms peter if they do this they will return to normal as well their marriage.

"I don't know, Lois. Splitting up didn't work too well for Pac-Man and his wife." Peter said as he set up a cutaway.

Cutaway

"Hey, c'mon, buddy. Forget about her" Red Ghost said.

"Yeah. You're too good for her anyway" Green Ghost added.

"Cheer up, man" Yellow Ghost suggested.

"Hey! You want to eat us? Huh? We're turning blue! We've got nowhere to run!" Red Ghost cheered as he and the ghosts turn blue.

"Oh, my God! He's gonna get us!" Yellow Ghost warned.

"Yeah, he's not budging. Come on. Let's go to Q*Bert's" Red Ghost surrendered as the ghosts turned back to normal.

Cutaway Ends

Now we join Peter entering Cleveland house.

"I really appreciate you putting me up, Cleveland." Peter said as he gives him thanks about letting him sleep here in his house toning.

"Our house is your house, Peter. I'd sit here and chat with you, but I need to get back upstairs to Loretta because it's our anniversary and the gettin's good." Cleveland said as he get up stairs to do his wife.

Now we join Peter in the couch trying to sleep but he hears Cleveland yelling in pain and loud banging from their love making.

"Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! When is it gonna be my turn?" Cleveland asking Loretta for a turn but she keep up slamming him.

"Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!" Cleveland said in pain from the slamming as they continued.

Now we are at the Goldman household with Peter in house.

"You are welcome to stay with us as long as you like." Muriel Goldman said as she welcomes him to his house.

"Thanks, Muriel. So, uh, what do you guys do for fun around here?" Peter asked on what they do in their house.

"We like to watch old movies while listening to Hotel California to see if it synchs up in a significant way. And so far, no. Nothing has." Mort Goldman said his response which was boring.

Now back at the Mallque/Griffin house, we join Lois in the living room sitting on the couch reading until Phone rings.

"Hello?" Lois said as she answers the phone.

"Hey, Lois. Is Peter there?" Quagmire asking for peter.

"Hi, Quagmire. No, Peter's not home. We're, uh-we're having some minor marital problems. Our therapist has advised us to date other people." Lois said as the phone hangs up as she heard footsteps come towards the house which reveal quagmire entering threw the door.

"Hey, Lois, you want to go out?" Quagmire asking her out on a date.

"What? I don't know, Glen. Peter and I just separated. I feel like I need more time." Lois said as quagmire panics as he looks at the clock and smash it to move the hands to make time go faster.

"How about now?" Quagmire asking about the date

"We are supposed to see other people. I guess it's better to go out with you than some sex pervert." Lois said as she excepts quagmire's response to a date.

"I'm in! Giggity-Giggity-Giggity-Giggity Goo!" Quagmire said Jabbering excitedly as he enters the home.

Now we at the YMCA Pool as the baby twins, John, Tyler, Brian and Stewie swimming together.

"God blast it! Would you hold it for five seconds?" Stewie said as he Panting for air for an hour.

"Okay." Stewie said as Brain continued to swim with Stewie attached.

Now we are at the Goldman household with Peter in the living room with the goldmans.

"So, Mr. Griffin, how does it feel to be a bachelor on the prowl once again?" Neil Goldman asking peter of him being a bachelor again.

"It's not as great as you might think. I just don't have the same way with women that I used to." Peter said as he sets up a cutaway.

Cutaway

"That was nice. That was nice. I had a really great time with you today, beautiful stranger. What's your sign? (Laughing) Gross. I still think you're neat though" Peter joked as he was with a woman in a bikini at the beach.

Cutaway Ends

"You should try a video dating service, Peter. That's how Muriel and I met." Mort Goldman said as he explains how he got his wife.

"Let me show you Mort's tape. He was so charming." Muriel Goldman said as she puts on Mort's tape of his video dating service.

"Ah! Oh, my eyes! Could you please turn down that very bright light? It's burning my retinas. Ladies, I'm a very desperate man. My name is Mort and I live with my mother. And I have very low standards." Mort Goldman said as he sneezes in his hands.

"Oh, God! There's blood in my mucus!" Mort Goldman said as he looks at his mucus cover hands in shocked.

Now we join John, Tyler, Maddie, Rosie, Brian and Stewie relaxing in front of the house until Fly buzzing, then Brian swatted with his glued hand which was attach to Stewie. It also woke him up.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Stewie said as he slaps Brian and he slap him back until the mailman arrives.

"Hey, there's the mail!" John said as he rushes the man to get the item. Now we join them inside the kitchen.

"Finally, all right, it says it takes an hour for this solvent to take effect." Brian said

"Well, let's see. What takes an hour?" Tyler asked the group and while everyone was think of ideas.

"We could watch Rita Rudner do five minutes of stand-up." Stewie said as everyone roll their eyes by that idea.

"Ba-zing." Maddie said as we now join Quagmire and Lois leave for their date and going to quagmire's car.

"Oh, boy! We're gonna have a swell time tonight, Lois." Quagmire said as he walks toward the car with Lois in hand.

"Glen, thank you for being such a good friend and looking after me like this." Lois said as she thanks him for being a good friend.

No problem. It's chilly out, so I brought you a jacket. Quagmire said as he offers a jacket to keep her warm.

"No, thanks. I'll be fine." Lois said as she doesn't need the jacket.

"Please?" Quagmire said as it reveals that the jacket's sleeve is connected to his pants crotch area. Meanwhile Frank and Tyler sneak in to spy on them.

Now we join ourselves at the Goldman household with Peter and Frank Jr siting on the couch as the Goldman's come in with a guest.

"Peter, Muriel and I both feel that you need to follow your therapist's advice and start dating." Mort Goldman said as he gets peter out of his funk.

"Aw, geez, Mort! I don't know if I'm ready." Peter said as he questions himself.

"Come on, stud. We've got it all set up for you to go out with our niece. Honey, come on out here and meet Peter Griffin. Peter, this is our niece, Jennifer Love Hewitt." Mort Goldman said as it is revealed that Love Hewitt is the niece of Mort and Muriel Goldman, and thus cousin to Neil Goldman.

"Nice to meet you." Jennifer Love Hewitt said as she says hi to him. While Frank Jr slap him on the head to make him say hi.

"All right, I'm getting up. Hi. Peter Griffin. Where do you want to go?" Peter said as he asked on a date.

"Anywhere except the disco. They don't let Him in anymore." Frank Jr said as he sets up another cutaway.

Cutaway

We see people dancing in disco music as Peter arrives wearing a blindfold and hits the disco ball with a pinata stick.

"Crappy Mexicans and your damn candy!" Peter complained as he left the disco ball in broken pieces.

Cutaway Ends

Now we join Brian, Stewie, Maddie, Rosie and John walk down the street until they notice a group of people look down a well.

"What's going on?" Brian asked a man about what's going on.

"There's a little girl down in that well." Man said as he points at the well where the girl fell in.

"Oh, my God!" Brian explain in panic while the twin look in shocked.

"Unfortunately, nobody's arms are long enough to reach her. Except that one guy. But he's helping that woman tickle a midget in a tree." Man explain what's going and points to a man whose helping an old woman tickle a midget in a tree.

"Hee-hee-hee! Stop it!" Midget said as he being tickle by the long arm man. As we turn to the gang, both Brian and the twin look in Stewie with a sad look while he stars to cave in by their presser.

"Oh, God! You want to rescue her, don't you? It's times like this I wish they'd used me for stem-cell research." Stewie said while he complains about their idea as he agrees to help. Now we see them looking down the well to see the girl.

"Help me!" Girl exclaim from the well.

"It rubs the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again. Ha!" Stewie said a line from the film The Silence of the Lambs as he sees the girl stuck in the well.

"All right, I'm gonna lower you in. Then Maddie and Rosie are going to lower me for you to reach her." Brian said as he explains the plan to save the girl.

"I just noticed. How often do you see a 17th century well in this day and age?" Stewie said as he is being lower down the well.

Hurry up! The glue's wearing off! Maddie explain as Dramatic instrumental music playing in the background while right before the glue wears off, they help to save a little girl in a well.

"All right! All right!" The gang shouted joyfully for saving the girl.

"We did it." Brian shouted in victory.

"Job well done." Stewie said his complement to the group.

"And, we're not stuck together anymore." Maddie said as she notices they are not attach to the people they were attach too.

"Thank God!" Rosie exclaim for being separated.

"You said it." Brian said his option as they went silent for a moment.

"You guys want to hold hands on the walk home?" Stewie asked them to hold hand as they go home.

Yeah, sure. John said as the group hold hand as the lady grabs the girl.

"Oh, Susie! Thank God you're all right! Wait a minute. This isn't my little girl." Mother said as she realized that this girl was not her girl and she drop her back in the well.

"Hey, that was my wife!" Midget said as the group realize that the "girl" is actually the midget's wife as he jumps in after her in the well and the man with the long arms goes down and tickles them.

"TEE-HEE. TEE-HEE." Little people giggling from being tickled.

Now we join Peter, Frank Jr and Jennifer at the Taste of Sicily Ristorante talking about what movies that Jennifer was in.

"I Know What You Did Last Summer?" Jennifer Love Hewitt asked him about this movie if he has seen it.

"Never heard of it." Peter said his response.

"The Devil and Daniel Webster?" Jennifer Love Hewitt asked him about if he has seen this movie.

"Nope." Peter said his answer.

"Party of Five?" Jennifer Love Hewitt asked him about if he has seen this movie.

"Was that a porno?" Peter asked if this movie was a porno as she signs by that response while Frank Jr cheers her up.

"Hey, hey, don't worry about it. Sometimes you gotta do a lot of crap before they put you in anything decent." Frank Jr explain to her that she has to do some shitty movie until she gets one right. As the waiter appears with their appetizers with peter getting a pie.

"Aw, the food here is fantastic. This is where I took Lois on our first date." Peter said as he is getting hungry.

"You ordered a pie for an appetizer?" Jennifer Love Hewitt aske peter about his appetizer choice.

"Oh, yeah, don't worry. I'll go to the john and fire one out in five minutes. That should make room for dinner." Peter said as he and Frank Jr were eating the pie.

Now we join Lois as she enters the same restaurant with her date, quagmire while frank and Tyler were spying on them.

"Here's your table, Mr. Quagmire." Waiter said as he shows them their table.

"Thanks. Hey, how about a couple of drinks?" Quagmire asking the waitor about some drinks.

"Certainly, sir. Martini for you and the usual roofie colada for your date?" Waiter asked him if he getting his usually order while Frank and Tyler look in shocked by that order.

"No, no, no. I wouldn't bring...a glass of wine." Quagmire said as Frank and Tyler both realized that they need to keep an eye on quagmire. As Lois spots Jennifer on her table all alone.

"Oh, my God! That's Jennifer Love Hewitt! Wow! I wonder who she's here with? She could date any man she wanted to." Lois said as she girls out by seeing some celebrities.

As we see Peter and Frank Jr leaving the men's room with toilet paper attach to their pants whiel going back to their table with Jennifer.

"There. Made lots of room." Peter said as he was done making room for his stomach for dinner.

"Hey, waiter. That sign in the bathroom about washing your hands...that's only for the staff, right?" Frank Jr asked the waiter about the signs in the bathroom about being there for the staff.

"Uh, technically, yes." Waiter said his answer.

"That's what I thought. Great." Frank Jr said as he is okay with that answer.

"Oh, man! These all look good, every one of them. You want some bread?" Peter said as he grabs all the bread and he offers Jennifer some of it.

"No!" Jennifer Love Hewitt shouted her answer as she moves her head away from the bread being shoved to her face by peter.

"Peter, is that you?" Lois said as she now knows that peter is dating Jennifer.

"Peter? Oh, no! I can't let him see me!" Quagmire said as he shoves his head inside Lois's cleavage.

"It's okay, Quagmire. We're just doing what the therapist said we should do." Lois said as she walks toward Peter's table. While Frank and Tyler jump quagmire to teach him a lesson.

"Peter, I think it's great you're out with Jennifer Love Hewitt. Hi. I loved you in "Heartbreakers." You be on your best behavior." Lois said as she explains the rules to peter while she is okay with him dating a celebrity, while she goes back to her table to notice quagmire a beat up and unconscious.

Now we are back with Peter and Frank Jr eating spaghetti while peter tries to feed Jennifer like a baby.

"Here you go, sweetheart. Open up." Peter said as he tries to shove his food down her mouth.

"No!" Jennifer Love Hewitt said until the food smothers her mouth.

"There you go. Isn't this romantic?" Peter said as he made Jennifer piss off.

"That's it! You have got to be the most vile, disgusting human being I've ever met! And I have never been more turned on in my life." Jennifer Love Hewitt said as Peter's behavior became increasingly gross and obnoxious which turned on Jennifer and she began to make love to him.

As Lois displays her own jealous rage by attacking Jennifer Love Hewitt on a date with Peter.

"Hold on, toots! I don't care what our therapist says. I won't stand by and watch my husband lock lips with another woman! Now, beat it!" Lois said as she beat up Hewitt out of jealousy.

"What's your problem, Grandma?" Jennifer Love Hewitt explain in anger.

"You are! And I only saw Heartbreakers on a plane! And the flight was delayed, so the headphones were free!" Lois said as she knocked her out.

"Wow! That was pretty cool, grandma/Lois." Peter and Frank Jr said in surprised.

"Gosh! I guess I finally understand..." Lois said as Jennifer tried to fight back.

"Aaaaahaaaaah!" Jennifer Love Hewitt screaming as she slams a chair on Lois but she gets her ass beat by Lois.

"Yeah, you better run, you little bitch! I guess I finally understand how you can get so jealous sometimes. Seeing her kissing you like that just made me crazy." Lois said as she managed to fend her off as she explains that she too gets crazy jealous sometimes.

"Well, I guess you two just gonna have to learn to control our own jealousy together." Frank Jr said as Peter nods in agreement.

"Together." Lois said as the two decide to live with their mutually jealous nature.

"Ma'am, you dropped your napkin." Waiter said Peter knocked him out.

"Here's your drink, sir. Waitress said as Lois knocked her out. Until Frank decided to ends their date with each other and with the two being finishing off by being punching out by Frank and Frank Jr. before they knock out any waiter or waitress that comes near them.

"Ah, we'll work on it later. Let's go home son." Frank said as he drags them out of the restaurant

"I love you, dad." Frank Jr said as he opens the door exist.

What a couple of freaks! God, I need a drink! Jennifer Love Hewitt said as she asked for a drink when Tyler came in out of nowhere.

"Waiter! Martini and a roofie colada!" Tyler said as Jennifer Love Hewitt decides to hooked up with Tyler, who ordered a roofie-colada for her, which is customary for quagmire to order for his dates.

As for quagmire he is still knocked out on the table all alone.

Chapter ended

I hope everyone enjoyed! This is thanking for pen123 and Family Guy Fan writer 15, Thank you all for cutaways, scenes, favoring, having me on alerts, PM ideas. Also Doc X me if you want to help with scenes for next chapter because I need the ideas.