"Commander," Kolyat approached her. All around them the crew was busy restoring the shuttle bay after the battle and nobody paid them any attention. Jo wrapped one arm around the young drell's neck in an embrace.
"Kolyat, so good to see you. How are you doing?"
"I'm working at the docks as a part of a repair team, have I ever told you? I was transferred to dock D last week, just in time for all this excitement with the Normandy. What happened? Is it true that the woman whose head is displayed out there tried to steal your ship?"
"Sad, but true," Jo sat down on her sister's coffin and patted it, offering Kolyat a seat next to her. He accepted. He would never know exactly what he was sitting on.
"Taught her not to mess with Commander Shepard, right?" He tried for a smile, which Jo returned.
"I sure hope so. But I've been fighting all night and I'd really like to leave it behind me. Tell me about yourself. Are you still in contact with Alice?"
"Yes," he lowered his face with a tiny blush. "We're dating now. She's... she's so wonderful. And gentle. But," he suddenly laughed. "I think she keeps saying a mantra in her head all the time. What would Commander Shepard do? You should have seen her when she started working in a warehouse where Bailey put her and met her new boss. Huge human, scared her witless at first, but then she took a breath and told him off for the poor condition of his office and for bad manners."
"A little spitfire, huh?" Jo smiled, enjoying the idea of the scared, traumatised girl opening up and blossoming. "She deserves to be treated well."
"Yes. Yes, she does."
"I'm glad it's you, Kolyat," Jo took the young man's hand and squeezed it.
"Thank you," he pressed her hand back. "I'm sorry to bother you, but there is something I'd like to ask of you."
"Anything."
He snorted:
"This feels like cheating."
"What?"
"Getting an 'anything' from Commander Shepard? Most people pay a great deal of money and play all their cards to get a meeting and a favour from you, yet I get an 'anything', just like that. I've done nothing to deserve it. It's all the more humbling because I'm asking for something personal, not business."
"See, the difference is - to you I'm not Commander Shepard. In human culture it's the custom to call friends of your parents aunt and uncle, even when there is no blood relation. The better the friends, the more are they like real family. I'm Jo to you, Kolyat, and that means you never have to do something to deserve my affection. You just have it because you exist and because you're you."
He nodded solemnly.
"My father... The priests performed all traditional ceremonies for him, but when the word got around that he passed away, a few of his friends contacted me. They want to have a memorial for him to say goodbye as well. It is not strictly necessary, but they would really like it. Maybe... maybe I'd like it, too. Would you come?"
"What time is it right now?" Jo asked.
"Just past six in the morning. Why?"
"Damn, I've fought through the night, never got any sleep... Tell you what, kid. I need to take care of some business and maybe get some rest, but tonight at sundown come to this place and invite everyone who wants to attend the memorial." She sent him the address for Anderson's apartment. "That's where I'm staying on this shore leave. I'm sure everyone on the Normandy who knew your father would jump at the chance to come. He was well-loved. My guys would also love to see you again, talk to you. You may not fully realise it, but you have a big family here."
"Thank you, Commander. I mean - Jo," Kolyat got up and rubbed Jo's hand between his. It seemed that he, too, missed physical contact with a parental figure in his life.
"Shepard," Bailey interrupted them. "Do you have any idea how many rich and powerful are up my ass about the mess you made? Discharging a cannon in a residential zone? Destroying the Citadel archive? Shootings all over the place, and I hear something about misuse of Spectre authorisation codes? My shuttles get stolen by mercs and someone hacks into our systems to initiate an unauthorised lockdown. I hope you have a good explanation."
"I'll see you later, Commander," Kolyat smiled. "You're busy right now."
"Yeah, he's angry, isn't he?" Jo chuckled.
As planned, she told Bailey the official version of the story, the only one she was about to share with anyone, even an old friend.
"You're nothing but headache," the elder man growled when she was done. "What's this business with that cut off head you displayed outside? Since when is capital punishment allowed in Council Space? You can't just catch a criminal and execute them at will, there are procedures!"
"Nobody bothered when the vid of me blowing off Aria's head hit the extranet," Jo shrugged.
"That was Omega. This is the Citadel. You're not above the law, Shepard."
"Said the man who discretely asked me to execute an unpopular politician Kolyat went after last year. I'm sure you remember."
"Yes, I know," Bailey sighed. "I know. We're at war now and you're too important to keep you with such things, but you should remember that you're not your own judge and executioner. Law is written for you, too."
"Isn't it funny how on the day they made me a Spectre for the first time, that's exactly what they told me about my new job? I'm above the law and am indeed my own judge and executioner. I know what you're saying, Bailey. I'm smart enough to read between the lines. And I hear you. It's been a fucked up night when I almost lost my identity, my ship, my entire team and crew and my life. So, I got a bit emotional. I apologise for any inconvenience and if there's anything I can do to help with this mess, let me know."
"I'll deal with the fallout here because you clearly have more important things to do. But damn, Shepard, you just can't keep quiet, can you? I'll file a report right away. Oh, by the way, there's one more thing. My guys arrested a krogan for vandalism and misconduct down at the noodle place around the corner. He says he's yours and wants to talk to you. Know anything about that?"
"My krogan?" Jo turned around to seek out Wrex in the crowd. Yep, he was still there, helping with heavy lifting. "It must be about my other krogan. My baby."
"Your baby?" Bailey shook his head. "I don't want to know."
"No, you don't. Fine, I'll take care of it right now."
She left the ship unnoticed. Everyone was in a tizzy about the night's events, some of the crew were still missing, on shore leave on the Citadel and blissfully unaware of any trouble. Jo enjoyed the moment of anonymity when she slipped through the crowd undetected and turned a couple of corners until she saw the noodle restaurant Bailey mentioned. There were half a dozen C-Sec officers armed to their teeth, guarding one discontented but smug Grunt.
"Grunt," she stopped in front of him. He was smaller than her when he was sat, unlike Wrex, who towered over her even crouching down. Grunt was still just a baby. "Want to tell me something?" She pointed at all the guns surrounding them.
"Ack, this clown wants to take me to lockup. Figured I'd give you a call. Straighten this out."
"Commander Shepard," a C-Sec officer said. "I apologise for the intrusion. This krogan insisted we contacted you."
"Yes, officer, it's good that you called me. Thank you, I'll deal with him, I'm his mother." She saw the turian jerk in surprise, but she was already moving in on Grunt: "You too, baby. Always call mama when you're in trouble. Always. Even if I end up skinning your ass for whatever shit you've done. What happened?"
"I don't know. Drank a bit, left the hospital, broke a few windows..."
"Weren't you still in recovery after the rachni?"
"Yeah, didn't feel like sticking around. A couple of squadmates broke me out for my birthday..."
"It's not your birthday," Jo interrupted him. " Now is November. You were born in June. I would know, I'm your fucking mother."
"Who cares?" He groaned, but he seemed pleased. A person like Grunt, just as a person like Jo, needed to know that there was someone out there in the galaxy ready to claim him as their own, someone who knew his birthday and cared to correct him when needed. Someone who cared. "They tried lowering me down the side of the building on a rope. That didn't work out. So, we got some pictures on the krogan memorial. When C-Sec got there they were mad. Or maybe they were mad about their car being on fire. Can't remember."
"Why was it on fire?" Jo asked with suspicion that she was going to laugh about this very moment for the rest of her life. Good thing Joker's minipad recorded everything. This would make perfect party entertainment material.
"I threw a bottle of ryncol at it. C-Sec guys jumped out. Then I figured out they didn't want it, so I took it. We didn't get very far before they shot us down," he pointed at the burning shuttle nearby. "Sprayed us down with riot foam. Didn't work so well on me."
"And why is that?"
"Because I was on fire? You know, from the car? Keep up, Shepard!"
"Right, sorry," she tried all her acting skills to keep from laughing. "So, how did they get you?"
"Got hungry. Bought some noodles."
Jo nodded. Krogan or not, Tank bred or not, at the end of the day Grunt had still received his real training and all life experience under Jo's command. He was truly her baby.
At least he'd paid for the noodles.
"Grunt," she assumed a mother voice and pointed at the stunned turian next to her. "You apologise to the nice man for setting his car on fire," she laid down the rule, which Grunt would never dare to disobey. The turian and his co-workers watched the exchange with perplexed, almost scared faces. One tiny woman busting the ass of a krogan who had given them trouble across the Presidium? By using a chiding mommy voice? They all shivered with awe when Grunt submitted:
"Fine. I'm sorry for setting your car on fire," he said to the officer. Jo raised one eyebrow and Grunt hurried to add: "And I won't do it again."
The C-Sec officers were stunned to perfect statues.
"Good. Now, officer, I'll pay for any damage that may have occurred."
"That's what you've been signing for, Commander," the leading officer finally shook off the shock and gave Jo a datapad with a report. "You're lucky, krogan. Don't let me catch you here again."
Jo and Grunt watched the team of turians retreat.
"So, how were those noodles?"
"A little spicy," Grunt gently nudged her shoulder with his and his face split into one gigantic, toothy grin that would have scared or traumatised anyone else. "Gjehehehehe."
"I love you, Grunt," she tugged her baby towards her and rubbed her forehead against his, growling deep in her throat. She didn't get to see him often anymore, now that he had a life of his own, a team, friends, enemies and a clan. But as she held his head in both hands, rubbing their foreheads together, his hands came up to her hips and squeezed very, very gently. She knew then that he may not be a young man of many words and would rather jump into a vat with boiling oil than admit he cared, but he was still her baby and would always be. She alone in the whole world (for now at least) enjoyed his affection.
At sunset the crew gathered in Anderson's apartment. Guests arrived, too. It turned out that most of the people who had ever served on the Normandy were passing through the Citadel on business or even staying here. Samara, Jack, Kasumi, Zaeed, Grunt, Wrex, Hadley, hell, even Jacob and Kaidan came when they got the invitation. Bailey walked in solemnly, followed closely by the salarian Councillor, who owed Thane his life. Kolyat and Alice arrived together. They brought a potted flower from Thane's and Kolyat's homeworld. It was beautiful. A few friends of Thane's that Jo didn't know also made an appearance.
Jo spoke first, welcoming the people and starting the ceremony by sharing her thoughts on who Thane was, and who he was to her personally. When she was done, other crew members took over, sharing their memories of Thane, painting an image of the man that Kolyat didn't really have. Jo could see that the young man was deeply moved and he had a lot to think about, but while her friends spoke, Jo moved to Alice's side.
The fifteen year old girl looked good, considering that the first time Jo saw her she was being brutalised on Omega. Jo stepped behind Alice and wrapped her arms around the girl's neck and shoulders in a gesture of pure affection. Nobody was surprised, since in the heavy and solemn atmosphere the girl looked misplaced and in need of reassurance. Alice put her tiny hands on Jo's wrists and leaned backwards into the hug with her whole body. Jo put a gentle kiss on her head and rubbed her cheek against the brown hair. She knew what Alice wanted and needed. A woman's touch. Ever since what happened on Omega Alice had had men surrounding her. Nice, dependable men like Kolyat, Thane, Bailey, even her boss. But they were still men. The girl's trust in men was broken for now and Jo, in addition to being her hero and a guardian angel, was a woman. Alice leaned into her body, hungry for a gentleness and absolute trust that only Jo could give her right now.
Her friends still spoke about Thane when a sudden thought ripped the foundation from under Jo and left her disoriented:
I want one of my own.
A teenage girl, with blond hair like hers, but with her father's green eyes, so very serious and brooding, with a cute pouty lip, mostly bratty like hell, but deeply thoughtful sometimes, dazzling everyone with her iron will and endless kindness. A girl who would call her mother.
Jo was grateful for each child she'd found on her long and lonesome way through life. She loved them all and would be loyal to them to her death. But today, suddenly confronted by a whole bunch of them at once in the same room, Jo realised that she was tired of being the surrogate mother. Always finding someone else's children in the worst places to be, picking them up, dusting them off, and putting work and energy into giving them back some trust into people - it was rewarding work, but they were still someone else's children.
She wanted one of her own. A fruit of love between Jo and Joker, carried inside her body to maturity every step of the way. She wanted to see the positive pregnancy test, to curse the morning sickness, in case she ever got it, she wanted to feel the baby kick, she wondered if Joker would be ecstatic or scared. She wanted to decorate a nursery, braid soft, blond hair, wait at the school gate, help with homework, she wanted to show her baby the whole universe and she wanted to see that trust, so absolute and precious, directed at her. Unmarred. Pure. Hers.
It is time, weary daughter, the voice of her kungfu instructor spoke up in her head for the first time in years. It is time to stop wandering and to come home. Lay down to rest, or come back and claim what's yours, what you've rightfully earned. You have but one battle left to fight, hopeful daughter of men. Make your choice and follow it to the end.
Lost in her own thoughts, Jo didn't notice how the ceremony ended. She knew Thane would forgive her the inattentiveness from wherever he was now. Suddenly she felt Joker's arms on her shoulders and felt his stubble on her neck:
"Hi, girls."
Alice jumped at the intrusion and spun around, but Jo didn't let her run.
"Alice, please, meet the most important person in my life, the man I love with all I have, Jeff Moreau" she introduced. Alice needed to know that Jo was no angel from the sky, she was a real woman who was in a sexual relationship with a man and motherly duties were not her only priority. She had a man she belonged to and all her children would have to deal with that.
"Hi, I'm Alice," the girl eyeballed Joker with suspicion and a measure of jealousy.
"I know who you are," Joker said quietly, making the girl understand without words that what happened on Omega - he'd seen it through Jo. Alice paled, clearly uncomfortable with people knowing, but Joker just smiled at her with a hint of deep emotion in his own eyes. "Call me Joker. Everyone does." Alice was the same age as his sister had been. "I hear you're the one who reeled in the prodigal son?" He pointed at Kolyat who came over at that same moment.
"Commander, thank you for holding this event," he said. "In time it will be a good memory. I should also take this opportunity to speak with the Councillor," he pointed at the other end of the room where the salarian was in a conversation with Samara.
"About what?"
Kolyat explained that some salarian scientists could cure the Kepral's syndrome, if they had funding, and the Councillor was feeling grateful.
"You know I could authorise the funding with my Spectre codes, right?" Jo smiled.
"I suppose, but it still feels like cheating. I need to do this. On my own."
"Of course," Jo nodded and watched the young man go off to plead his case to one of the most powerful people in the galaxy. He went with Jo's silent blessing and her full support.
When the crowd left Jo found herself alone in the apartment. The crew was repairing the ship or dealing with assignments and for one night Jo decided not to read messages from people who wanted something from her. She wanted some peace to try and calm down the emotions ripping her apart. She'd lost a sister she never knew she had, and she felt raw.
Joker didn't come home that night. He said he had some errands to run and refused to tell her about them, just that it was personal stuff. When Jo realised he wasn't coming back, she asked EDI where and how he was. EDI assured her that he was fine, just sitting in a park in the Presidium, presumably thinking. Jo decided to let it be. She wasn't the only one who needed some alone time.
She slept on the couch in the living room. Somehow it felt wrong to sleep in the bed where Anderson had fucked his Kahlee Sanders.
The next morning it turned out to Jo's surprise that the only messages on her account were from friends and crew, no job requests. Her people wanted to spend some time with her. After breakfast Jo invited Vega over. When he arrived, first thing he did was present her hunting knife to her. He'd gone back to the sushi place and had searched the area around Cision Motors until he found it.
"You know, I think this knife is trying to tell me something," Jo said, looking at the simple, small weapon. "It has left me twice and came to you instead. I think you're meant to have it."
She held it out to him. He blanched:
"No, that knife's like your calling card, it's yours!"
"Nonetheless, it wants to be with you, not me. Take it as a gift to acknowledge your good effort in your training and as a personal thank you from me for everything you've done for my cause."
She saw how his hand trembled a little bit when he slowly took the knife. She knew he'd wanted it but would have never asked or admitted to it.
"By the way," he said then. "The other day you saw me getting a tattoo, right? You never asked me what it is, so I came by to show you." He turned his back to her and took off his shirt.
Jo sucked in a violent breath at the sight of what he'd done.
Met with her silence, he turned to face her, slightly insecure. He found her frozen like a statue with her hands raised in a way that made clear: she was trying her absolute best to NOT FUCKING STRANGLE HIM.
"Lola? What do you think?"
"What I think," she pressed through clenched teeth. "Is that you need to keep that knife I just gave you away from me before I use it to carve that thing off your back. How dare you! How fucking dare you!" She exploded. He took a step back when hit with the force of her emotions. "How dare you accroach something so important that you haven't earned? Even I don't have that tattooed anywhere on me, and I've earned it with my sweat, tears and blood! The N7 badge is a reward, a gift, an acknowledgment of an exceptional personality, it's a medal of honour, valour, it's a sign that you're above reproach and that you do, in fact, know better than other people. It's rare and valued because it's given to you by people of the same quality and if they acknowledge you - if! - as one of their own, you may be grateful and humbly accept. Vega, you just took the holiest of emblems I know of, one that symbolises everything I stand for, and you just slapped it on yourself, like you deserve it?! Bad, bad judgement! I can't believe you just did that! I really thought you knew better than this, for fuck's sake, haven't I told you enough about what it means, being an N7 instead of a simple N6? Fuck, for that disaster alone you should be cut off from the training and stripped of any N ranks you my have earned. I really thought better of you, I was sure that one day you might make it. Now..." She turned away from him, took her sidearm, reloaded it and put it away again just to keep her hands busy. "Now I'm not so sure. That lapse of judgement will cost you. I'm not sure just how much right now. Go, fucking go now and don't come back until I call you. I need to calm down. And Vega," she fixed him with a deadly stare. "If you let anyone, anyone at all see that thing, I will cut it off you. I don't care if you remove it or shower with your shirt on for the rest of your life and never have sex. You will never show it to anyone. Is that clear?"
"Crystal," he saluted her, shaking all over. He hurriedly put his shirt back on, making several attempts because his hands wouldn't obey him. Then he hurried down the stairs and to the door. At the last moment he turned and added: "I'm sorry."
Jo dismissed him. Seriously, that was fucked up.
Joker was still absent and Jo decided to give the man some freedom. They were not joined at the hip, no matter what anyone thought. Instead she took the opportunity to meet up with some of her crew and hang out with them and ease her mind off Vega's mistake in the process. Glyph told her about several activities on the Silversun Strip, among others a combat simulator. Jo sighed: why would people invite her to a combat simulator? She fought day and night on the job, and they thought her idea of recreation would be taking up arms and fighting again? Seriously.
She played a kid's game with Zaeed because he refused to admit defeat to a stupid machine, helped Traynor win a Kepesh-Yakshi match against her nemesis, dragged Javik out of a vid studio when Blasto appeared, spoke with Samara and Kasumi and ended up watching vids with Tali and Jack after they'd established that Jo had seen Fleet and Flotilla almost as many times and Tali had. In the evening Steve came over to watch a biotiball match and brought Vega with him. Jo was calm enough now not to kill the guy, so she and the boys hung out with some beer. It turned out that they had placed bets on whether or not she could pick the biotiball winner team beforehand, which she of course had done correctly. Later, at her mildly curious request, they both conceded that they had no idea where Joker was and what he was doing. So, instead of going to sleep alone again Jo went out to meet Garrus in a bar.
As they sat there with their beer and enjoyed a quiet night, Jo noticed a turian girl checking Garrus out.
"Hey," she grabbed his arm when he turned to check the girl out as well. "Where are your eyes going? The only place they should be going is over there!" She pointed at another lounge across the Strip where Tali argued with a shop owner about some merchandise.
"Yeah, I know," Garrus sighed. "It's just..."
"What's up? I thought you guys were finally getting together. I walked in on you kissing. Did something happen?"
"No, nothing like that, it's just... It's Tali, you know? We're fighting side by side and the end of days is fast approaching. How can we... How can we? It would be a distraction."
"Joker and I fight side by side all the time and it only makes us stronger."
"Not like this. There are no bullets flying at him."
"Maybe not, but Garrus, this might be your last chance at something real, at having something for yourself. Will you really push it away out of some misplaced sense of duty?"
"Misplaced sense... Hey!" He punched her in the shoulder. "I'm a very loyal vigilante. How can duty be misplaced?"
"It can be when it serves as a mask to cover your fears, brother mine. You hide behind it to keep your heart whole, I know all about that. But Garrus, imagine we all die tomorrow in that battle Hackett is talking about. What would be your greatest regret?"
He nodded in a subdued fashion. Jo couldn't say if he'd follow her advice or not. He was stubborn like hell and Tali even more so. She just hoped for the best with these two.
When she came back to the apartment, Joker was there, waiting for her with a grin on his face.
"Are you going to tell me where you've been?" She asked after receiving a scorching kiss. She'd missed him and he seemed to be in the same predicament.
"No," he stated and quickly turned to other topics: "So, after fighting evil clones and destroying half of the Citadel, you know what comes next?"
"A nap?"
"Please, we party down."
"A party?.."
"Well, no pressure, no one's gonna make you throw it."
"Something tells me I'm just the last one being informed about it," she grinned. She couldn't possibly stop grinning when his hands were on her ass, grinding their lower bodies together.
"So, EDI, Cortez and Traynor are in. And Cortez just invited James, so..."
"Wait, I'll be in charge of the guest list!"
"There's no 'uninvite' button on this thing," he showed her his omnitool and Jo heaved a sigh.
"Fine. But make sure everyone who's ever served on the Normandy and is currently on the Citadel is invited. Also, I want Kolyat and Alice to be here, too."
"What about Jacob and Kaidan?"
"Invite them as well," Jo agreed. What the hell, right?
"Well, now that this is settled... Did you know that this apartment has a whirlpool?"
"I am aware," she grinned. They both could see dirty thoughts in each other's faces.
In the morning Joker disappeared somewhere once again. Instead EDI came by and asked for Jo's help choosing gifts for some people she wanted to surprise. Joker had given her his credit chit on the condition that she had fun. Obviously, the first person to surprise on her list was Joker himself, so she asked for Jo's opinion.
"You could start with something you could both enjoy," Jo said. She was not going to be jealous. There was no reason to be. In many ways EDI was just as intimate with Joker as Jo was, and yet there was no reason for her to worry. EDI meant well.
"We interact most closely while we're flying," EDI said, calming Jo down. Flying was good. "It occurs to me that he does not have a sky car to travel around he Presidium. Here, the 2187 Blackout has a top speed at 650 kilometers per hour, making it the most powerful sports sky car in its class."
"That sounds like it would get Joker's blood pumping," Jo agreed, curiously looking at EDI's datapad. The car cost accordingly, three quarters of a million.
"Five year warranty, replacement parts..." EDI chirped away happily and Jo just barely managed to grab the datapad away from her before she finalised the sale.
"Wait, stop."
"I fail to see what is wrong," EDI pouted so real that Jo almost awwww-ed.
"It is customary not to bankrupt your friend while buying his own gift, EDI," Jo shook her head. "Maybe you can find a rental or... Say, EDI, how much money do I have as of this moment?"
"Your current profile shows that after paying for damage Grunt has caused, you own seventeen million credits in investments and real estate and just over three million in fluid money."
"Damn, Liara is good at multiplying it. You know what? Buy Joker that car from my account, I'll sign whatever paperwork you need. He deserves it. And let there be racing stripes of some sort involved."
EDI beamed at her. Not literally, but in a very human way.
"I believe Jeff would like that. Thank you, Shepard."
"So, who's next?"
"You are. Close your eyes."
When Jo opened her eyes, she saw a ring in a cute little box. EDI explained that a jeweller on the Citadel was making these "victory rings" from metal from each Council homeworld, and EDI thought it would be appropriate for Jo to own such a thing.
"EDI, that's thoughtful, but I can't wear jewellery in battle, it's dangerous and I could break a finger."
"Some soldiers wear it on chains with their dog tags. I can acquire a chain for you as well, since you do not have your dog tags anymore."
"That would work, I suppose. Thank you." She was actually quite touched by the thoughtful present. Most people gave her weapons and tech. Jewellery was... unexpected, but not at all unwelcome.
Party supplies arrived and then the people did. Everyone came, even Kolyat and Alice. Very soon people spread around the apartment, engaging in conversations. Jo, since she wasn't drinking alcohol, moved from one group to the next, listening in, talking, laughing. At one point Jo found the biotics on the balcony, trying to convince James that their powers were better than his raw strength. Of course, as soon as she approached, people wanted her opinion.
"I'm with James," Jo said firmly. Each of these biotics had one thing in common: Jo was never really comfortable taking them with her groundside. Liara, Alenko, Jacob - all useless. When she got back to them a few drinks later, James was daring them to fling him off the balcony.
"All right, people, we'll settle this once and for all," Jo declared. "One of you guys goes full force on me and I do my best to counteract. Whoever wins - rules. Fair warning, though: I won't be gentle."
"All right, I'll do you," Jacob said, then blushed at his own words.
"Go."
Most guests who saw this cheered, though not many actually cheered for the biotic team, seeing how Jo wasn't on it. Jacob lit up blue, then flung a flash at Jo. She didn't try to evade. Instead she used all the tricks Samara and Jack had taught her. She tensed her body to the point of almost breaking her spine, testing the strength of Jacob's powers. He was damn strong, but there was always a weakness and eventually Jo found it. She was floating two feet off the ground at that point and when she twisted her body one more time, the Stasis broke. Jo's feet hit the floor and propelled her forward immediately. The punch she landed in Jacob's stomach made everyone groan.
"Team Shepard wins!" James cheered and so did everyone else, even Jack.
Among all the drinking and talking Jo kept an eye on her youngest guests. Kolyat moved around with a little more confidence, like he was starting to belong. He found a lot of common ground with the techies based on the work he was doing on the Citadel. Gabby, Ken and Adams took him in. Alice, though, seemed stuck between horribly tense and having a blast. She'd relaxed a little after meeting Garrus and James, who had been with Jo that day on Omega. Jo could also see what Kolyat had meant: the girl always took a deep breath and gave herself a stern, silent talking-to before approaching someone new. Amazingly, she did approach new people, and most of them were not cute like Gabby, Campbell and Westmoreland. Jo saw Alice talk to Grunt and Zaeed and Samara, she saw how deeply impressed the girl was by Jack and how she wrinkled her nose at Javik's insensitivities.
Jo had insisted on inviting these kids here because she wanted them to mingle. She needed her guys to know Alice personally, to know that this girl was important to Jo, in case Jo didn't survive the war against the Reapers.
Tali was getting drunker by the hour, Wrex and Grunt butted heads, EDI decided to cook. Kolyat joined the boys in the kitchen discussing old missions while Alice and Samara looked at the paintings. Jo caught Garrus and Zaeed several times doing odd things until she got them to admit that they'd booby-trapped the entire apartment. She liked the idea, damn.
As the night progressed and more drinks were consumed, Tali demonstrated impressive imitation skills by first explaining how the Normandy sounded, and following up with Liara being trapped in a Prothean security device. She was good at it, too. Everybody laughed their asses off, even Javik. Most people decided to dance off the stress, while the hardcore warriors started a role playing battle in the kitchen. Jo walked around, talked to them all and just couldn't get over how much she loved all these people. Her family.
Many of the conversations made Jo laugh so hard that she could barely hold herself, especially when she heard EDI grill Traynor about developing sexual attraction towards her voice and Tali almost poisoning herself trying to change the topic. Jo let EDI milk it for her enjoyment, Traynor was too easy to tease to let it go. Then, when the dark skinned girl could take no more teasing, Jo took pity on her and gave her a present she'd spent a while looking for this morning.
"Oh my God," Traynor exclaimed. "This is a Cision Pro Mark 6! Where did you get it?"
"Better than the one you had before, right?" Jo was pleased to see Traynor hug the box with her new toothbrush to her chest and snuggle it.
"Yes! Thank you!"
The next time Jo ended up in the kitchen, several guys were trying to convince Joker to take up shooting. He was telling them that he didn't need it, and besides, he was too drunk to go right now.
"Don't give me that look!" He pointed a finger at Javik.
"What look?"
"The I-want-to-watch-Joker-break-his-hands-off-at-the-shooting-rage-look!"
They kept challenging him until Joker declared:
"Why would I need a weapon? I have a girlfriend."
The guys laughed, waiting for Jo's comment, but she had none. Joker indeed had a girlfriend who was better with guns than all of them combined in this apartment. And she would do anything for him.
"Oh, yeah? And how does that work?" Alenko grinned.
"It works like this," Joker lifted an arm and snapped his fingers.
At his snap Jo made a long step forward, shielding his body completely with her own from the others, pulled two pistols from their holsters at the small of her back, brought them forward so that one muzzle touched Steve's nose, the other one pointed at Garrus' forehead, and yelled in a very, very scary tone:
"Back off, motherfuckers!"
The entire action took less than a second. Startled, frozen silence followed, as all the drunk people in the kitchen realised that she'd just turned into a murderous raging beast on them. On her best friends. Because Joker snapped his fingers. Steve backed up just a little bit, focusing his eyes on the pistol in his face. Alenko gulped. Wrex humphed, Javik blinked with all his eyes. Garrus was the first one to smile... eventually.
"Thank you, dear," Joker kissed her neck and Jo released the protective-aggressive stance. "I think I've made my point."
"Wow, nice move," Kaidan said once Jo put the pistols aside. "Have you two been practising that long?"
"Never before," Joker grinned. The others, still recovering from the shock, collectively shook their heads.
"Why are you wearing two guns at your own party, Shepard?" Steve asked.
"I've learned my fucking lesson," Jo said as cheerfully and friendly as before, as if the incident never happened. "No more dresses for me, no more high heels, and I'm definitely never losing my guns. Not even in the shower."
"That could be... awkward," he winked at her.
"Oh, Steve, you have no idea what I can do in the shower with two guns," she winked back in a way of an apology for scaring him.
"Well, I guess there are advantages to having Shepard as a girlfriend, slight as they might be," Garrus poked.
"Yeah, well, now with my adrenalin pumping, let's go dance!" Jo grabbed Joker's hand and dragged him off towards other dancers. He moaned:
"Yeah, and here comes the drawback! I have to dance with her!"
Jo wasn't quite sure how the party had ended, even though she was the only one who remained entirely sober. There was dancing and tossing various people out of showers, bathrooms and whirlpools in order to get them to sleep in appropriate places, and wild making out against a wall and the all-consuming despair with which both she and Joker threw themselves into carnal pleasures, fully intent on tuning out the outside world with its impossible problems. Just for one night, short and filled with hopeless agony, they all tried to forget themselves in the buzz of alcohol and sex.
