The morning crept up on them like a mean uncle with a foghorn. Joker couldn't say that he'd drank a lot - not like Steve, who'd accepted his challenge and had to drink Joker's own creation - three parts 'horse choker' and one part antiseptic mouthwash. Still, headache greeted him like a punch as soon as he was conscious enough to the world. Jo was already awake, but for some reason she just lay next to him, still shamelessly naked from last night, and in no hurry to get up.

"Ugh... mon'n. Thought you'd be picking everyone up and mothering them back to health by now," he groaned.

"Yeah, not in the mood today," she shrugged. "What if, for a change, I'd like others to take care of me? God knows, I've nursed this crazy bunch through enough hangovers over the years."

"True, dat." Joker moved off the bed with the sole purpose of finding his hat. Only when he had it back on his head did he feel like a person. When they descended the stairs, they found most people awake and hiding from the loud noise Vega was making in the kitchen.

"Hey, Lola, Joker. Eggs?" He greeted them cheerfully. Geez, the guy could not only hold his liquor but also be presentable in the morning with a happy grin? That alone told Joker that he was N7 material.

"I don't know," Jo wrinkled her nose. "Is it another one of your abuela's recipes, all colourful and with lots of spices?"

"Yeah, I know back in the brig on Earth you said you didn't like that. So, what's your favourite food?"

"That, my friend, is the great mystery," Joker leaned his head on the counter. "She either doesn't know, or wouldn't tell anyone."

"Ok, Lola, you're on. I'm gonna cook something for you and make sure you like it," James challenged, threatening her with the frying pan.

"I have detailed data on Shepard's physical response to various foods served on the Normandy over many months," EDI declared. "I am sure I can analyse it and find out the common denominators. If anyone can make food the Commander likes, it is me."

"Oh, you're on, robot girl," James accepted.

"I bet if you don't like too many spices, I could make something to your taste," Alenko butted in.

"And so it's a cook off," Joker said. "I'm in."

"You cook?" Both Vega and Alenko seemed surprised.

"Sure do. Besides, this is my girlfriend. Her favourite food is still an unknown, but I of all people need to know."

It started off friendly enough, slowly attracting more people, as they gradually came back to life. Vega was a loud, flamboyant cook, showing off his skills as he made some sort of stir fry. EDI decided on some rare Italian recipe involving pasta and at least five different cheeses. Joker quietly stood aside, mixing fresh dough and saying nothing about what he was planning to make. Alenko rummaged through all the cupboards.

"What are you making?" Jack teased him. "Canadian delicacy of some sort?"

"Uhm... sure," he agreed. "Exactly. We have meat, we have bacon, we have beer... The foods of my people. I'll make it just so that you'll like it, Shepard. Vancouver way."

Joker looked up to see her reaction. Though sober and in a fairly good mood, she shuddered just visibly. Perhaps he was the only one who noticed because he was looking for that response.

"Kaidan, don't you remember anything from my bio?" She asked sternly. "I'm from Vancouver. Born and raised there until my eighteenth birthday. I'm as Canadian as you are, always have been."

"Oh," Alenko looked a bit confused and embarrassed. "Must've forgotten about that."

"So they are the foods of my people, as well, technically," Jo said. "Then again, my Vancouver and your Vancouver have nothing at all in common."

"You don't sound excited," Samara observed.

"That's because in all my travels I haven't been to a place more evil than the Vancouver I grew up in."

"Even Tuchanka?" Grunt asked.

"Even Tuchanka."

"Why?" Now they all wanted to know.

"I've been in a gang from the age of eight, people. No family, no home, just a sadistic, manipulative gang leader and a hard-won wooden bench in a warehouse to sleep on. For the first ten years of my life that I could function as a human being - when I wasn't a baby, that is - my whole world consisted of guns, Red Sand deals, corrupt cops and politicians, drive-by shootings, turf wars, knifings for the best sleeping spot, violent, manipulative men and strippers and whores for women. The foods of my people came from the garbage bins in the backs of restaurants three times out of five."

"Wow, Shep, that's intense," Ken spoke into the sudden silence. "How'd you get out?"

"I really wanted to, so I found a sure way to leave that godforsaken place," she shrugged. She really didn't like telling sob stories about herself, but she did trust all these guys. "When other Marine recruits in boot camp complained about hardships, I enjoyed my first real bed with a real mattress, a pillow and a blanket, all complete with clean sheets and a name tag that said it was mine and I didn't have to fight for it. Can you imagine?"

"Vancouver's loss is the galaxy's gain," Adams said and everyone nodded.

The smells of food and good conversation roused the crew enough to coax them to the kitchen. Soon it turned into a real competition. Vega's stir fry ended up a lot less colourful and exotic than it could have been, due to Jo's expressed preference. EDI made macaroni and cheese, while Alenko stuck with baked potatoes with mushrooms and bacon. Joker made meat filled dumplings and won the competition. She insisted that she was fair in judging, not favouring any one cook but going with the taste of the food. She liked his creation best and that strung a very special, pleasant chord in his chest.

Especially considering what he'd been up to in the last two days, alone in the Presidium shopping zone.

Eventually the crew dispersed to get the Normandy ready for leaving. Karin took off Jo's cast and declared that if she took it easy for the next two or three days, her hand would be fully usable for the attack on the Cerberus home base. Jo ordered everyone to be ready for departure in the late afternoon that very day. Until then they remained alone and had a few hours to kill. Some sweaty sex and a relaxing shower later they decided to try and go out on a date again, hoping against hope that it would go as uneventful as they'd hoped their sushi restaurant visit would be.

So, they sat at a bar with drinks in their hands and Jo was admonishing the bartender for not believing Joker about being the saviour of the world, when a mountain landed next to them with a loud, pained groan.

"Wrex?" Jo leaned into Joker's possessive half-embrace. "Still hungover?"

"No, ugh... Escaping. Ever since we cured the genophage, it's been nothing but work."

"Council's been riding you?"

"Oh, someone's been riding him all right," Joker snorted. Wrex told him and the other guys (or rather bragged) last night how he had to climb out of his own bathroom window on Tuchanka to escape all the females. Frankly, Joker had little compassion for the guy. Served him right. What did he have to go and become the king of all krogans for?

"No, it's the females, Shepard," Wrex got in her face. "Now that they're fertile again..."

"Say no more, I see," she held up a hand to save him the trouble of explaining.

"Ugh..." He banged his head against the bar. "Last night was the first time I could get some sleep at your place, but this morning... Three of them at my quarters!" He waved the bartender over and ordered a bag of ice. "There's a line of females outside my dwelling on Tuchanka right now! Stretches on for as far as you can see. Everyone on Tuchanka wants a piece of me. And Bakara's no help at all. She encourages it! Telling you, Jo, I'm in no shape to fight Reapers," he banged his head on the bar again.

"Wrex, I could help you with that one, but you have to tell me one thing. Do you actually want it to stop, or are you like one of those men who have a harem and a garage and complain about the harem and love the cars, but when forced to make a choice would give up the entire garage just to keep the harem?"

Wrex honestly thought about it. Joker snorted again into his drink. Who needed a harem when a man could sit in a posh bar on the Citadel with his arm around the one woman in the galaxy everyone wanted a piece of, digging his fingers into her flesh and letting everyone know who owned her? Wrex was pathetic. He could have had her, Joker knew that. The Beauty and the Beast had been flirting from the day they'd met. He lost his chance and now Joker was never letting his woman go.

"A harem's nice all right," Wrex finally grinned. "But not at this moment. I need to be fit to fight and they just won't let me rest. I need to be at my best. But what can you do?"

"Oh, I have an idea or two, and none of them involves me claiming to be the woman in your bed," she assured Wrex, but that was also meant for Joker. "Are you done with your business with the Council?"

"Yes," Wrex banged his head on the bar again.

"Then come on board and I'll get you home tonight. I promise you a peaceful night in your dwelling, if you re willing to dedicate about ten of your men to that particular cause. Don't have to be good fighters, just men dedicated to you and ruthless enough to harm a woman."

"I can do that, if it gets me sleep."

When Joker and Jo came to the Normandy, having left Anderson's apartment trashed after the party and with every single one of Zaeed's and Garrus' traps sharp and waiting, Joker noticed right away that something was going on on his ship. Everyone stood at the ramp, waiting for him and Jo, blocking their way.

"What's up?" He demanded to know.

"I have a surprise for you, Jeff," EDI declared. "You were so kind to let me use your credit chit to buy presents for the rest of the crew and I have not forgotten about you. Close your eyes."

Everyone was grinning. Even Jo. She was in on it and didn't tell him! Joker hated being blindsided, but in front of the whole crew he had no choice. He closed his eyes and let the shiny mech guide him.

"If I break a bone for this surprise, EDI, your metal ass is going to get a kicking."

"Do not worry about that, I have a licence to act as a personal assistant. Now..." She made him stop and turn. "Open them."

He obeyed, just as he heard the crew file in after them to the middle of the cargo bay and excitedly whisper among themselves. He found himself standing in front of some civilian type of vehicle covered by a tarp. A civilian vehicle in their cargo bay? Jo had allowed that? What was going on?

"It occurred to me that you did not have a private vehicle to move around the Citadel and as you deserve the best, that is what you are getting," EDI said a little coyly. "You can do the honours," she waved at the tarp. Joker was confused and sceptical. He didn't get presents often because for the better part of his life he had been too big of an asshole for anyone to think about him when they thought of presents. But EDI thought he deserved the best. It was touching, and Joker didn't do touching. He didn't do soppy emotions in public. He was almost angry with EDI for putting him in the spotlight like this, so when he grabbed the tarp and jerked it aside, it was with a certain amount of real fury.

His fingers lost all tension once he saw what was underneath. In fact, his knees almost buckled, too.

"That's... That's... A Blackout!.." He whispered reverently.

"A 2187 Blackout," EDI chirped.

"The most powerful sports sky car in its class!" Ken hopped to Joker's side, done trying to hide his excitement. A moment later all the guys swarmed around him, patting him on the shoulders and back, urging him to get in and to let them have a ride. Joker still stood like a statue.

This was not just a sky car. Nevermind that he never owned a sky car because ever since he had a licence to fly anything at all, he flew military shuttles and ships. This was not just a car. This was a monster in its way, a powerhouse rich people bought just to show off their wealth and presumably big balls. This was a statement in itself, the latest model, sleek and beautiful, and it was painted in black and yellow racing stripes.

"I can't afford that," he finally breathed.

"Hm," Liara said. "I could have."

"So could I," Tali added. "What?" She shrugged at odd glances thrown her way. "My father was a very influential man and I'm an Admiral. If a show-off car was what I wanted, I could have bought it."

"Don't worry, Jeff," EDI said. "I did not bankrupt you. I robbed a bank instead. If you wish to lick the car, you are welcome to do so," she said smugly. Yeah, somebody on the crew probably coached her on what his reaction would be.

"Don't mind if I do," he freed himself from the arms of his male friends and just... lay down spread-eagle on the car's hood.

"Precious treasure," he shamelessly kissed the shiny surface. "My beautiful baby. You deserve to have your own name. I'll think of something as beauuuutiful as you are."

"Jo, I think you've lost him," Garrus laughed.

"I'm fine with being the third in his affections," she shrugged, smiling. Apparently she was happy watching him being happy.

"Can I go with you on the first ride?" Ken begged.

"No. Everyone, out of my way. You," he pointed at Jo. "Get your ass in the car, right now. EDI, thank you for this. It means the world to me. But this baby's maiden voyage belongs to me and my woman."

"Lucky bastard," he heard some men grumble as he and Jo were climbing inside.

"Because of the car or because of the incredibly understanding girlfriend?" Someone else asked.

Joker was in love. The inside of the car revealed everything the ads promised. All the custom tuning, all the nav devices and luxury features, it was all right here, and it was his. He didn't think even Jo in the seat next to him would blame him for having a boner when he activated the console and the motor roared to life. He shot out of the cargo bay, sending crates behind him in all directions, and headed for the main sky stream that led around the entire Presidium. If a man wanted to be seen in a car, that was the place to fly it.

"You paid for this, didn't you?" He asked Jo eventually.

"Don't know what you're talking about," she shrugged.

"But I do. Only you could be so generous."

"You deserve it, EDI was right. And it was all her idea, she just ran it by me. And all the money I have is nothing compared to the smile you're wearing right now. Or to the fucking you're gonna give me tonight, I'm sure."

"Bet on it!" He promised her, adrenalin and pure happiness pumping through his veins instead of blood.

Just a few hours later the Normandy left the dock, heading for the krogan homeworld. Joker's new car was snuggling under her tarp in a spare parking slot across from the Kodiak, secured to the floor plating for turbulence. Joker warned everyone that if she got even a single scratch, he would personally toss the culprit out of the airlock. Steve and James acted offended:

"Like we'd damage such beauty!"

The crew knew that this was their last tour, so to speak. The next shore leave was nowhere in sight. Instead they were looking at their last stand against the Reapers in a very near future.

They arrived on Tuchanka within hours and Joker decided to brave it. Jo had told him that the only reason the krogans were calling her Wrex's human wife was because they didn't know she already had a man, so by showing up personally he would help spread the news, at her side for whatever she had planned. She hadn't told anyone what it was, so he, Wrex and the rest of the crew were intrigued.

Right at the docks, where a few females already waited for him, Jo made Wrex give her a dozen men who were to form his new personal guard. He gave her a choice of a large number of former mercs who returned to Tuchanka from distant worlds to get cured and got stuck without jobs they were really qualified for. Jo picked a few and instructed them in their new duties. They were amused, but promised to do their best.

"He wasn't kidding," she gasped when she saw the huge camp of females surrounding Wrex's dwelling. There were thousands of them, literally camping at his doorstep, waiting for his return, ready to pounce. The sight of him caused some racket, so he had to roar to get everyone to shut up and listen. Wrex's role was minimal: he had to address the females, telling them that he'd passed a decree, which Jo would be telling them about in a minute, then he was to head inside and not show his face until it was safe again. Wrex did just that and left Jo alone, facing a literal army of mating-crazed females. His new guards surrounded the dwelling to defend all doors and windows from female intruders. Joker, Garrus, James, Ken and Javik stood aside, watching and waiting. She needed no help, but they came to watch a spectacle anyway.

The door closed and Jo faced the crowd. She added some power to her voice to reach everyone:

"Urdnot Wrex has reviewed this unfortunate situation with you females and decided to put an end to this pyjak dance." It was her idea, but they needed to think he had the absolute power. "Ladies, we all know why you are here. I understand that every one of you wants their fist kid in generations to be sired by the best of your race. Wrex is the smartest, strongest, toughest, most courageous and magnificent krogan in the whole galaxy. I realise that. So, in your eagerness to get a piece of his gene pool you ladies shamelessly overdid it. We have a war to fight, and if we lose, all your children will be nothing but dust under the Reapers' beams. Wrex is the leader of the strongest army we have. He needs to be strong for the fight. You should be helping him. Instead you burden him with your eagerness, won't let him rest for days. If we lose this war because some krogan whores couldn't keep their panties on, trust me, the whole galaxy will be thoroughly pissed at you. So, here is what's going to happen from now on. Wrex decided to still participate in your crusade to populate Tuchanka with his children, but on his terms. He's agreed to take one female to his bed every five days. One single female and for no more than one night."

Roars rose from the crowd, yelling at her that she was talking bullshit. Jo tossed a grenade into the air and the explosion shut everyone up again.

"How, you may ask, will this female be determined? As I said, Wrex will accept one female every five days. During those five days before the lucky night a group of females will be pitted against each other in a contest. There will be only one winner who will have one night with Wrex."

"What are you saying, we have to compete for the right to bear his child?" Some female asked from the front row.

"Of course," Jo gave her a duh-look. "Or what did you think was going to happen? Did you really think that every one of you is worthy of the mightiest krogan in the galaxy? You have to earn the right to mix your gene pool with his, just like he has endured all the trials to get where he is now. No backwater cheap dirty slut is worthy of his attention. He is the best of the best and he will only accept the best of you females as his partners. You'll have to really work for it, ladies."

"And what if we don't?"

"Bye-bye babies."

"He wouldn't really do that. He knows we need strong males to father strong children for our race to survive."

"I'm telling you what he decided. He's already done it, so don't kill the messenger. The equation is simple: Every single female on this planet wants Wrex. Thousands of other males go unnoticed. If you ladies don't agree to his terms, he will stop accepting any of you to make sure you spread the love around. It is your choice. And if you try to sneak up on him and ambush him without winning in the contest, you will have to deal with his newly appointed personal guard of my choosing. I don't fuck with people. I shoot, maim and crush. These guys are instructed by me to do the same and it won't matter to them if you're female, pregnant, rich, cute, or anything at all. Wrex's new guards are devoted to him and instructed by me."

"Why are you so interested in this affair, Shepard?" Some woman asked. "Do you have your eyes set on our leader, too?"

Laughter and threats hit her like a wave of menacing energy. Jo weighed her gun in her hands with a stern look:

"Wrex and I are krantt. Whenever he needs me, I'm here. Anyway, I already have a man and I love him exclusively, unlike you skanks. I'm not whoring my body away like a birthing machine."

"Are you trying to insult them, Commander?" Bakara spoke up. She sat on a stone nearby, looking at the circus with amusement.

"Bakara," Jo looked the female down and up. "Why are you looking so smug? Do you think this has nothing to do with you? Think again. If you want a piece of Wrex, you'll have to compete, just like all the others. Now that the entire Tuchanka population is fertile, you're nothing special anymore. You'll have to prove your worth like everyone else here."

That earned Jo a snarl from Bakara and a joyful cheer from several thousand females. Apparently they'd been disconcerted by her claim to be Wrex's wife. She was not, at least not officially, as far as Wrex told Jo.

"So, what will those trials be?" A female asked. "Are you going to ask us to fight each other like varren?"

"Among other things. Wrex has asked for my help designing the procedure. The mother of his child will be required to be of perfect health, of legal age, strong, intelligent, charismatic, patient. She will have to prove she has the financial means and practical knowledge required to raise a child and a krantt to protect her and the child, since Wrex will be providing no financial support for any children born out of this arrangement. Those of you, ladies, who are planning to lie about your age and legal situation, will lose a finger for each lie you tell. And unlike me you only have three fingers on each hand to lose. I'm not just saying that, I'm actually serious. There will be a committee formed in the next few days that will check out all the contestants. Wrex and I will talk details and he will let you know the specifics."

She left them to muse over her words and entered the dwelling. Joker and the rest of the guys followed her. Wrex stood right behind the door, eavesdropping.

"Think that'll keep them away?"

"When they realise what I have in mind for them, most of them will be gone, I hope. It'll leave you with a manageable amount of females, spread over time so that they don't drain you."

"I love you, Shepard."

"I'm a woman, Wrex. A real one, not a piece-of-fertile-meat-female. You should listen to us, we have good ideas."

"So, what now?" Garrus asked.

"Now we go to the roof and wait," she said, unfolding her sniper rifle.

"For what?"

"For those who didn't believe me. There will be some crazy ones who will try to enter this house during the night and we're going to kill them."

"What? Kill them? They're fertile females, we can't do that!" Wrex shouted and his new guards grunted in agreement.

"And you have over two thousand other fertile females camping right outside, just for yourself. You asked me to solve a problem and these women need to see how fucking serious you and I are about it. I could try for non-lethal shots, but I need to kill at least one."

"The ugliest one?" Wrex sounded hopeful.

"I wouldn't know anything about krogan female beauty. I'll kill the craziest one."

"Deal."

So, Joker joined her and the guys on the roof while Wrex's new guards took places around the house for the night watch. This lying in wait with the snipers thing was entirely new to him, but it was exciting. The night fell quickly and Jo unpacked a datapad. She started writing up ideas for the procedure to determine suitable females.

"Math test?" Joker snorted at what he saw over her shoulder. "With Tuchanka's school system that should eliminate 99,99% of them."

"That's the idea," she squirmed happily next to him. "Could also have a side effect of promoting education."

"Keep dreamin'."

The first shot sounded long after the entire camp went to sleep, when Jo was finished with her writing.

"That was mean, Jo," Garrus whispered. "That was her knee, she'll never walk again."

"Then maybe some bastard she'd scorned last week will take pity on her. Her own fault, anyway," she was unapologetic.

"I'm not okay with killing women, Lola," James looked up from his own scope. "And this has nothing to do with our particular skill set."

"Javik understands," Jo shrugged. "Just ask him, sexually assaulting your leader was punishable by death in his cycle."

"How did you know?" Javik asked.

"Everything was punishable by death in your cycle, Javik. And James, this has a lot to do with our skill set. Not everyone will ask you to command troops, infiltrate some facility or disarm a bomb. Civilians ask for civilian things and this is the kind of a solution you'll have to come up with at some point. It gets worse when friends ask you, because you can't just make a huge mess and ride off into the sunset, leaving him to deal with it. You'll have to be smooth."

Come morning, Joker had counted eight attempts to sneak into Wrex's dwelling. He understood the first, maybe the second, but the last six were just stupid. They'd personally seen their predecessors being carried away, screaming in pain, towards the med tent. Why couldn't they take a hint? As promised, Jo killed only one female, number four who tried to knock out one of the guards at the kitchen window. At the crack of dawn the team reconvened over her dead body.

"Now what?" Wrex rubbed his head plate, not entirely sure what to do.

"If it were up to me, I'd stick her body on a pole, erect it in front of my door and leave it there to rot. Show the others I mean business. But that's just me, Wrex. Do as you like," Jo told him.

"You would do so well on Tuchanka," he said almost dreamily. "Sure you don't want to stay?"

"That's not a decision I get to make alone or right now," she said.

"That's right, big lizard," Joker put a possessive hand on the back of her neck. "Jo stays with me."

A few short hours later the Normandy was on its way to the Illusive Asshole's home base. Hackett was informed about their ETA in a few days and the whole crew started the last preparations for the battle that would follow.

On the second day Jo came to the cockpit late, inquired about their exact whereabouts and ordered Joker a full stop.

"Why?"

"Because we have cargo that can not go into battle with us," she said.

"Yeah, about that," he absently rubbed his beard. "Would you at least consider tossing it into space and forgetting that it ever existed?"

"I am tossing it out into space. Find me a good spot among those asteroids and that's where it'll remain forever, unless we win against the Reapers, I survive and come back for it. If I die, I explicitly forbid you to collect it and use for spare parts, do you hear me?"

"Yuck! As if!" He blanched. "I'd rather have you with one eye and no arms and legs than with spare parts from that thing."

"Good."

Most of the crew were asleep when Joker stopped the ship and Jo rolled the evil clone's coffin down the ramp and let it float among the debris in deep space between solar systems. God, he hoped he'd never see that thing again! Still, Jo committed the exact coordinates to her memory before she ordered the ship to resume its journey.

He remained late in his seat that night with a lot on his mind. He and Jo had always had fights about one thing or the other, but they still remained strong. If nothing else, this last shore leave showed him exactly that they belonged together, no matter whether they were facing the world of military conflict or the civilian world of politics and intrigue. He loved her like crazy, stronger from day to day, and he never wanted to let her go. Of course the Reapers dictated their immediate future and it was very likely that she would have to pay the ultimate price for any kind of victory, but even sharing Jo with the rest of the galaxy in this way didn't make him want her less.

That night on the Citadel, after the clone but before the party, he'd spent it alone in a park, watching the nightlife in the Presidium and doing some heavy thinking. About the concept of forever, about families, about wanting Jo. He knew they would always have stuff they disagreed on. Some of it silly, some of it dead serious, like the clone, but arguing with her until his throat hurt was something he was really looking forward to.

As he sat on that bench in a park, he remembered everything he and Jo had been through together and he let himself dream of a future, imagined himself in ten years, twenty, fifty, a hundred. It occurred to him just how young they actually were. She - thirty two, he - thirty four. Humans lived about 150 years on average, and the modern technology promised to double that span within a generation. At their age most people still struggled with finding their identity. He and Jo were saviours of the galaxy several times over. Whatever their future would bring - death or victory or both - he knew that he wanted to face it with Jo. He was not the kind of man who had the best thing in the world and let it slip through his fingers, not like Garrus was in the process of doing.

The turian, Jo's soul mate and brother in all things, the man she tucked away on the ship during most missions because she trusted him to carry on her vision if she died, that very man had failed to learn the most important lesson she was trying to teach him. Knowing when to follow the call of duty and when to throw it to the wind and grab your own happiness. Joker was sure he would make lots of mistakes in the future, but that would never be one of them.

And so, in the dark of the Citadel night, on the bench in a park, a decision had been made that would either make him the happiest man in the world or destroy him for good.

Unless - and that was still a distinct possibility in the light of things they were about to face - she said no.

The Asshole's home base didn't look too impressive. Apparently, it wasn't hard to infiltrate, either. Joker made sure Jo, Tali and EDI made it safe inside before he joined the Alliance in their hunt for the Cerberus fleet. It did not escape his attention that this was the first time ever that Jo took EDI's mech groundside with her. Of course EDI had demanded to go, but Jo hadn't objected in the least.

He performed the best of his stunts while Garrus made sure his calibrations on the main gun were put to good use, but one of his ears stayed with Jo. His heart jumped in foreboding when he heard EDI report that she'd hacked into the station's computer and found data on Jo's resurrection as well as on EDI's creation. His hands grew cold when in reply Jo quietly ordered EDI to do whatever it took to plunder the entire system and find her all the technical and medical data on her resurrection and on the cloning program that had created their recent, blond and bratty problem. So, against all better judgement, against his advice and wishes, against everything, Jo was going for it. She wouldn't try and get Cerberus to cooperate, but she was making damn sure that she had sufficient data to carry out the procedure without those crazy scientists. She told EDI to find everything on the topic and to store her findings in more than one place. The Normandy servers were not enough, she said, in case they got damaged in battle or destroyed with the ship. EDI promised to store the data on several of Liara's external servers and even suggested keeping a copy in a time capsule somewhere, if Jo considered it so important. Jo said yes.

Joker almost prayed that EDI wouldn't find anything. Almost. Another part of him suddenly started to panic. What if Jo herself died again? Could he sit here on his high horse and claim that he wouldn't do anything possible and impossible to try and revive her one more time? Damn, of course he would do it! He was selfish like that and everyone knew it. Now that the galaxy knew the procedure was indeed possible, they could bring back anyone, as long as there were enough survivors after the war to man the labs. The thought was sick, yes, but Joker was honest enough to admit at least to himself: he'd be the first to demand Jo's second resurrection if she died.

So, why not make it easier? What if all they had to do was to scan this station's memory drives and keep the data? It would save them so much trouble! Even if Jo had planned to use it to bring back her clone. He knew he was conflicted about the issue right now, but he would indulge Jo in whatever whim she wanted, as long as she lived in the end. He would give her hell for the clone for the rest of her life, but he would also thank Cerberus and every deity out there for the clone if any of that evil Cerberus research helped him keep Jo. That was the real deal about morals and he was man enough to admit it, just as he shot down another Cerberus fighter.

It was happening. As Jo got Tali busy somewhere else, EDI reported her findings. She'd found everything. The Asshole hadn't bothered hiding any of it. The whole sordid truth, with pictures and vid material provided. All the scientific specifics about how to resurrect a charred corpse and how to create a clone, from A to Z.

It was happening, whether Joker was happy about it or not.

The Cerberus fleet was almost on the run and Joker had a chance to stop the ship and watch how Jo and the girls entered the Asshole's private room to try and locate the Prothean VI he had stolen. They found it easily enough, since nothing was hidden in that place. Even the Asshole's personal appearance on the com pad meant nothing anymore. He would not cooperate and Jo had no use for him.

Only... The VI uttered the words that shattered a lot of hearts among those who stood behind Joker now that the ship wasn't moving, and watched the exchange:

"The Catalyst is the Citadel."

It continued to explain that the plans for the Crucible had been handed down from one cycle to another and nobody really knew who'd built the Citadel, only that combined with the Crucible it could destroy the Reapers. The Citadel presumably enhanced dark energy transmissions and controlled the relay network.

"But that means..." Garrus gasped.

"The Citadel is ground zero for everything Reaper-related, isn't it?" Joker looked at him.

"That would mean that the intelligence the Leviathan spoke of could be located there, doesn't it?" Traynor spoke up. General murmur followed, only to be replaced by complete silence when the VI informed them that the Reapers were already aware of the Crucible's completion and moved the Citadel to the Sol system.

"What about all the people on the station? What about the Council? Our friends and families?" People whispered with due horror. Truly, now there was no way back. The galaxy was heading into the final battle that would decide the face of this cycle. And it was happening now.

Of course, Kai Leng had to appear at that exact moment.

"The Illusive Man did warn you not to overstay your welcome," he said, roared and... smashed his hand against the floor, breaking it. Joker, all the crew around him as well as Jo, EDI and Tali stared at the man in complete confusion. Why the fuck would he waste his energy to break the floor?

Jo was the first to shrug it off.

"Thank you for providing me with cover, Kai. It would have been quite difficult to fight you in an empty room, but you're so considerate of me, it's heart-warming."

"You will die!" He roared, obviously annoyed by his mistake being pointed out to him. Even Joker, without any close combat strategy training at all, could see the flaw in Leng's plan. There were Cerberus troops on an upper level of that room and if they all stayed up there, shooting down at the girls, who had had no cover whatsoever, Jo and her team would have been trapped in a big frying pan, dead and torn to pieces within minutes. But no, Leng just had to make a stupid mistake like that. Did the Reapers cook his brain? Jo shrugged again and that little shrug was clearly getting under Leng's skin.

"I'm sure I will, eventually," she said nonchalantly, as she watched Cerberus troops drop from the upper level. "But you will die today, that is certain."

Leng roared again while Jo retained her cool. She'd been preparing herself for this battle for months now and today she took the Cerberus sword with her, knowing he would show up eventually. Right now she wasn't using it yet. Instead she said, loading incendiary rounds into her rifle:

"EDI, Tali, take care of the rest of the troops and I'll take care of Leng."

"Sounds more than fair," Tali agreed. "We'll keep them off your back."

The crew watched in silence. Twice now Leng had escaped Jo and they all wanted to know what would happen. They remembered the message he had sent to Jo and how it showed her that he was scared. They wanted to know what that meant for the battle.

Leng proved everything she'd claimed to be true. He made mistake after mistake, destroying more of the floor and providing the girls with more and better cover, as Tali's powerful drones took down Cerberus troops one by one. Jo concentrated her firepower on Leng himself and more often than not he had to stop and hide behind powerful shields to recover. Unfortunately for him he could do nothing in those minutes but stand still and wait. At some point new troops stopped coming and Jo had no more reason to hide behind cover. Leng was recharging once more when she stood up and walked right up to him, rifle in one hand, sword in another.

"Really?" She said to him in a condescending tone that would annoy anyone, not just a man who was losing to her. "I'm right here. No cover, nothing between you and me but your cowardice."

He roared again. Maybe he was too indoctrinated to realise that he'd lost, maybe his mind wasn't strong enough to realise that she was playing with him like a cat with a mouse, maybe he was desperate enough for one last action, but he was about to die and they all knew it. Dropping his shields he launched at Jo with his sword.

Her rifle flew to the side because when it came to the worst, she decided to keep her own sword and defeat him at his own game, at the one skill he was sure he had on her.

Tali and EDI stood aside as Jo and Leng engaged in a short but fierce battle straight from a samurai-ninja vid. It seemed that whatever training he'd received to become an N7 and Jo hadn't, she had compensated for it long ago, even if she hadn't had the need to use that kind of skill in battle lately. She bent and jumped and turned with no regard for the law of physics or the presumed limitations of a human body. Joker recognised Thane's lessons in there somewhere, Samara's, Jack's, and when Jo threw a punch with her left hand against the middle of his chest that sent Leng flying back, he recognised the move that would put down a krogan battlemaster.

Leng fell, rolled and remained down. Jo put the sword on her hip and went to the Asshole's chair to use his console and send a message to Hackett.

"Shepard, he is not dead," EDI said quietly.

"I am aware," Jo nodded. Both EDI and Tali were watching how Leng got up again and rushed at Jo with his sword. Everyone gasped when she suddenly turned, her blade back in her hand, and ran him through with it.

"Thane Krios sends his regards," she said right in his face. "And so does everyone else from the Citadel. Thane's son, for instance."

She pushed him off her sword until he knelt before her.

"You were never strong enough to be a part of my family, Kai Leng. You fell from grace before you could achieve anything the N7 badge stands for. I'm not into speeches, but I need to inform you of your sentence. Death on sight. The Invisible Leader has declared it so and I am obliged to carry it out. It gives me no pleasure to kill one who could have been great, alas you do lack what it takes to be a real N7. Strength of character and mind. Rest in peace."

He was coughing blood when she rammed the sword into his belly and used her considerable power to yank it up, opening him up like a pig from underbelly to throat. His armour didn't stand a chance. Next she swung the blade horizontally, beheading the already dying body. Then, for good measure, she removed his arms and legs. It was a good thing she did, Joker thought, because closer inspection revealed so much tech under that man's skin that he had no doubt: left to its own devices, the body would have reassembled itself.

"Is he dead now?" Jo asked and EDI confirmed with her sensors.

"Who's the Invisible Leader?" Tali asked.

"The officer who's been leading the Interplanetary Combatives Academy for the last 25 years. It's not like with the Illusive Man, the Invisible Leader never called himself or herself that. We call that person so because none of us actually know who that is, and that is all I'm authorised to say on the matter."

And that was it. The end of Cerberus, the end of Jo's nemesis, the end of the Citadel, the end of the world as they knew it. Once Jo and the girls were back on board there was nothing left to do but for the wandering daughter of Earth to finally return home and face the ultimate challenge of her life.