——Ben——
Ben refused to look back even as Rey called his name. He needed to leave before his anger took the best of him. An explanation was not needed, nor did he want to stick around to hear one. It would just be an excuse anyways, her feelings had been made clear, so he thought.
The darkness seemed to stretch on forever as he trudged through the woods. His ship wasn't much father ahead now but he stopped a few paces away. The rain had let up some, turning into a light shower. His mind paced in circles unsure of what to do next.
In his mind the answer was so simple, so why couldn't Rey see it? Forget the past, and start over, new. But she was still holding on. The foolish idea that she had thought of Han Solo like a father she never had, infuriated Ben. Han Solo had never been a father to him.
He feverishly clenched and unclenched his fists over and over accompanied by deep short breaths.
"Aaaaaaagghhhhhh" His triple bladed Saber ignites in his hands. He stares at the red jagged light that spit and hissed at the call of his fingertips. His eyes twitched as he focused on swaying glow letting it entrance him. The Saber was a reflection of himself, uneven, unbalanced, unstable.
With a large burst of anger he swung the Saber in a circular motion. It swished through the air with ease, illuminating the forest in a hue of red. He huffed. Again he swung full circle, ending the movement with an undirected jab. The blade sunk deep into the flesh of an oak tree. The wood began to crack and splinter as the heat from the Saber ate away at its insides until it began to burn. Ben pulled the Saber back switching the blades off. He stood motionless watching the flames flicker, unsure of what to do next.
——Poe——
"What made you join the resistance?" Rey glanced up at Poe. His face was still close to hers.
Poe was thrown off by the question. "Why was she asking this all of a sudden?" He stared at her a moment studying her eyes. They sparkled like the stars, big and bright. But she looked as lost as far as the galaxy stretched.
Suddenly realizing that his hands were still cupped around her chin he cleared his throat and pulled them away, his face flushed pink as he took a seat on the bed next to her.
"Well that's a loaded question" He half chuckled to himself.
"Ah, I'm sorry. You don't need to tell me if you don't want to. I was just curious." Rey waved her hands apologetically at him.
"It's alright" He smiled softly at her. "It'll be a good way to get to know each other."
She nodded.
"Did you know my parents, Shara Bey and Kes Dameron, fought right here alongside Leia and Han in the battle of Endor" His finger fiddled with a small metal ring that hung from a chain around his neck as he spoke.
Rey looked at him surprised.
"My mother served as a pilot in the alliance to restore the republic, while my father was a Sergeant. Most of their lives were dedicated to trying to bring peace and balance to the galaxy. I was always so excited when my dad would come home and tell me stories of their battles and the dangers they faced. They were my hero's"
He leaned back getting lost in his story "My mother however, she was more closed off about her time with the republic. She didn't believe In boasting about her accomplishments. She would always tell me that it is enough just to live with them."
He grinned. "And yet everyday I would ask her to tell me just one story."
Rey couldn't help but smile.
He paused a moment to take a deep breath before continuing. "Everyday my mother would take me flying in her A-wing. I would sit on her lap and we would soar through the sky, her hands guiding mine on the controls. I loved the feeling of being in the air. It was like having freedom at my finger tips." He wanted to smile at the memory but it was bitter sweet.
"When she passed away, it was so sudden and it wasn't easy for me. Ultimately I wanted to find a way to honor her and everything she had done. So I followed in her footsteps and became a pilot for the new republic, and you know the rest from there." He smiled softly turning to Rey.
Rey nodded. She turned away momentarily to take in his story. There hadn't been much time for her to get to know the lives of anyone she was surrounded by. They all felt like strangers to her, and Poe's story made her feel almost selfish when it came down to facing the truth. She was just reaching for reasons to stay.
"I'm really sorry to hear about your mother" she finally turned back to him.
His lips curl slightly upwards into an appreciative smile.
"She sounds like she was a wonderful person, your father too." Rey placed a sympathetic hand on top of his. She hadn't thought much of the gesture other than being polite.
The gentleness of her touch warmed Poe. Heat tingled throughout his body causing his cheeks to glow pink. He felt a mixture of feelings growing inside the pit of his stomach. One he recognized as embarrassed, from sharing intimate details of his past. He couldn't remember the last time he had spoken of his parents out loud. The other was more complicated. A fluttering sensation in his stomach. As if his insides had turned into air, he felt light. He glanced down at her hand on his wrist and for a second he hesitated with the idea of placing his on top. He decided against it.
He wasn't naive. He knew the feeling stemmed from their physical contact and nothing more.
"What made you ask?" He ignored his wandering thoughts.
Rey pondered a moment to herself. A long sigh escaped her mouth as she removed her hand from Poes. She faced him bravely. "I'm not sure what my place in all of this is, in the resistance. I was aware of the war going on in the galaxy but it was non of my concern, and now I'm apart of it." She shook her head softly noticing the look of confusion on his face. "Not that there is anything wrong with that, I realize how that came out."
"It's alright, I understand" Poe nodded.
Rey continued. "Back on Jakku, I waited so long for my parents to come back for me. All I ever had to do was survive. But now I just feel lost." Her voice started to shake. "I have no family, no home. All I have this power I barely understand and the one person who would be able to guide me is gone." She closes her eyes tightly trying to suppress tears that threatened to expose the full extent of her pain. She hadn't had time to grieve properly.
"Rey" Poe didn't hesitate to comfort her. He leaned in and put his hand against her back. "Luke's death wasn't your fault." He replied trying to be gentle but firm at the same time.
"If I hadn't.." Rey began, but Poe cut her off with a stern head shake.
"There is no room to start with that." His jaw clenched tightly as he spoke. "Nothing you did or could have done would can change what has happened. Trust me, I know how it feels to put blame on yourself. I experienced a similar situation back on Jakku when I was looking for the map to Skywalker. I can't blame myself for Kylo Rens actions as he murdered an ally of ours and the entire village of Tuanul."
Rey turned away trying to hide her wide eyed shock. Poe continued talking but her mind was drawn else where now at the mention of Kylo Ren. She hadn't considered everything else in Bens history afar from killing Han and ultimately causing Luke's death, even though she felt most of the blame on herself.
"Hey, Rey." Poe realized she had become distracted. He reached over and took her hand in his seeing the distraught look on her face. She turned to face him, tears welling at the corner of her eyes. "You and Luke gave us a fighting chance." He locked into her eyes with admiration. She stared back at him fully focused now. "He gave his life so that we could escape, and that choice was entirely his own. You should be proud that you were able to get through to him and open his eyes to the struggle around us. But you must realize that his choice was not your fault."
Poe suddenly felt the tickling in his stomach again as her face studied his. Her smooth skin glowed in the torch light like the hot sun beating down on desert sand. Lightly sprinkled freckles spread across her cheeks. He gently released her hand and scratched the back of his head to ease the awkwardness he was feeling. Now wasn't the time to be thinking of such things but he couldn't help but notice how attractive he found Rey, not just physically. Their conversation had become very personal. Thinking back on Rey's sacrifices he realized how selfless she was, brave, and courageous. He admired her.
— Rey
"Perhaps you're right" Rey huffed feeling defeated. She wasn't fully ready to wave the blame from herself but her mind was too tired to make an argument.
Poe frowned snapping back to senses. "I know my words may seem like nothing right now, but think about it at least" He stood up and stretched his arms in the air. "We should both get some sleep though, who knows what tomorrow has in store for us."
Rey couldn't stop her eyes from once again wandering over his muscles as he stretched.
boop boop* BB8 sang.
Startled Rey turned away quickly before Poe turned around, she had forgot the droid was still with them.
"We're going buddy, relax" Poe mushed his friend towards the door with his foot. He stood in the doorway a moment before glancing back at Rey. "You're wrong by the way" He spoke briskly.
"I beg your pardon?" Rey looked up at him confused. She hadn't said anything.
"About having no family or a home. Finn, Leia, the Resistance, and me. Even if you don't know where you fit in right now or what your purpose in all of this is, we'll be here to help you. We are your family. You are home." With his finally words he shot her a warming side smile and left.
It suddenly felt hit inside the hut as heat flushed to her cheeks. Poe's words echoed in her mind. "You are Home"
A bead of sweat trickled down her forehead. Subconsciously she wiped her arm across it for relief. A familiar sharp pain shot through her head as she pulled her arm away. A smear of blood stained her arm wraps, but that was the least of her concern.
"Ben!" She quietly yelled to herself. She had forgotten all about him.
