"Why are we here again?" Monica asked. She and Chandler were in Phoebe's cab while she sat outside her father's house.

"Well, maybe your UB is to help me with mine," Phoebe suggested.

"I somehow doubt that," Monica muttered.

"Don't get all moody," Phoebe instructed. Chandler snorted.

"Are you gonna go or not?" Monica asked, impatient. "It's cold."

"You can feel the cold?" Phoebe countered, surprised.

"Well...sort of," Monica said. "I dunno. I guess I can't, but I remember the feeling of cold and if I was alive, I would be cold."

"All right, all right," Phoebe sighed. "I get it." She waited for a minute. "Okay, here I go!"

"Go, go!" Chandler urged.

"Farther than the mailbox this time!" Monica called after her. Once the door shut, she sighed loudly.

"What?" he asked her.

"This is ridiculous. We shouldn't be wasting our precious time doing this!"

"Maybe your UB is to be nicer to people," Chandler said.

"I am nice!" Monica snapped.

"So nice," he snorted sarcastically. Phoebe came back in then.

"I can't do it," she said sadly.

"Why not, Phoebs?" Chandler asked kindly.

"I just...what if he's not a cool dad? What if he's an asshole? I already lost a fake dad this week, I'm not ready to lose a real one," Phoebe said.

"It's okay. We can try again some other time," Chandler told her. Monica glared at him.

"Thanks, Chandler. Okay, guys. Hang on!"

Monica and Chandler were instantly left behind when she took off.

"You know, they could have made it that we could ride in cars," Monica huffed.

"Flying is better though," Chandler argued.

"We can sit on furniture," Monica started.

"No, we can hover on furniture. Don't you pay attention to anything?" Chandler asked. She reached over to smack him.

"Ow!"

"Bet you wish you couldn't feel another ghost hit you, huh?" Monica asked.

"They could have changed that," Chandler grumbled. They started their flight back home.

...

Rachel was dripping with sweat. The radiator was broken, and she couldn't stand it. She also couldn't stand that it was almost Christmas and Monica wasn't there to throw a party or sing carols with her. Being alone sucked.

"Holy crap," Joey said, coming inside. "What happened? It's like the desert in here!"

"You think?" Rachel snapped. He frowned.

"You okay?"

"I'm just sad, Joey. I'm sad and a thousand degrees. This isn't fair! None of this is fair!" she cried, banging her fist on the table. He came over to her and put his arms around her.

"It's not," he agreed. "I miss them a lot."

"I do too. It's just not right them not being here," Rachel whimpered.

"Hey, you guys," Phoebe said. "Wow, are we having a sauna party?!"

"No," Rachel moaned. Joey went over to the radiator then and bent down.

"So, where's Ross?" Phoebe asked.

"Off with Julie to be with her family. Traitor," Rachel muttered.

"They're still together, huh?" Phoebe asked. "I never thought that would last."

"Well, it is," Rachel groaned.

"Fixed it," Joey said.

"What?" Rachel asked, turning to face him. "What did you do?"

"Turned it off from underneath," Joey shrugged.

"Oh my God. I feel so stupid," Rachel said. "I bet Monica would have known to do that."

"Maybe," Joey replied. He sat down across from her. Phoebe was still standing.

"Did you meet your dad?" Rachel asked after a while.

"No. I chickened out."

"I'm sorry."

"It's okay. Another time," Phoebe nodded solemnly. She perked then, as though someone had spoken to her.

"Are you all right?" Joey asked.

"Huh? Yea!" Phoebe said. "I, uh, gotta go now." She left hurriedly.

"Do you find her acting really odd the past week?" Rachel asked.

"Yea," Joey chuckled. "But then again, it is Phoebs."

"True," Rachel nodded. Joey patted her hand.

"I'm right across the hall if you need me," he said.

"Oh, don't go," Rachel begged. "Watch a movie with me. Something. Anything."

"All right," he agreed. They headed for the couch. Joey shuddered and sneezed when he sat down.

"Are you getting sick?" Rachel asked, concerned.

"I hope not," he replied. She sat next to him, and they watched A Christmas Carol together. She wished things were different, but she knew she couldn't go back in time.

...

"You don't think...?" Monica asked, gesturing to Rachel and Joey.

"Pfft, no," Chandler responded. He was still laughing inside from when Joey had sat on him and exploded with sneezes. It just never got old.

"Really?"

"No. Joey and Rachel? No," Chandler laughed.

"Hmm," Monica mused.

"That is not our UB," Chandler said, figuring out what she was thinking.

"How do you know?"

"It's not. Meddling with relationships is not something anyone should do even when they're not dead," Chandler pointed out.

"You're no fun," Monica pouted, crossing her arms.

"I really want a cigarette," Chandler groaned.

"Those will kill you," Monica said instantly. He stared at her.

"Well, I'm awfully confused as to what's been going on so far," Chandler commented. "Hello!"

"Oh, right," she lamented. "Sorry. I just...I keep forgetting."

"How could you forget?!"

"I dunno!" she said defensively. She got up then.

"Where are you going?" he asked.

"Away from you," she replied.

"Aw are you mad at me? It's almost Christmas!" he called after her.

"Pretend that I'm slamming this door," she instructed before disappearing. He sighed. Being dead sucked.

A Week Later

Monica and Chandler were in the apartment with Nana and Mr. Heckles when Phoebe burst in.

"You guys?!" she called.

"Still here," Chandler answered.

"Oh thank God! I had someone die on my massage table today," Phoebe said hurriedly.

"And you want us to do what with that information?" Chandler asked.

"Is she here? With you?"

"Nope."

"Her name is Mrs. Adelman..."

"Not here, Phoebs," Monica told her.

"She was a nice girl," Nana mused.

"Do you just know everybody?" Chandler asked her. Nana nodded solemnly.

"I think her spirit is in me!" Phoebe burst out, panicking.

"What?" Monica asked.

"Impossible," Mr. Heckles said.

"You're just jealous cos you can't have a spirit inside of you," Chandler commented.

"I could have a spirit in me," Mr. Heckles muttered.

"I just feel so weird," Phoebe went on. "Wait, who are you guys talking to?"

"Oh, Nana and Heckles are here," Monica said.

"Oh! Say hi," Phoebe said.

"They can hear you," Chandler told her.

"She's weird," Mr. Heckles said, going back to watching the sky outside.

"You're weird," Chandler countered. Mr. Heckles made a face at him in return.

"I'm sure you didn't get Mrs. Adelman's spirit," Monica reassured Phoebe.

"I really hope not," Phoebe said, worried.

...

A few days later, everyone noticed something was up with Phoebe.

"How's it going?" Chandler asked when they were alone in the apartment. Monica was listening.

"She has some kind of unfinished business, you guys," Phoebe told them. "I don't know how to help her. Why couldn't one of you possessed me? You wouldn't be so snarky. I mean, I've never told so many people to sit up straight in my life!"

"She sounds lovely," Chandler commented.

"Phoebe, why don't you go talk to her husband?" Monica suggested.

"That's a great idea!"

"You think he'll believe her?" Chandler asked once Phoebe was gone.

"He might."

...

"Well?" Monica asked when Phoebe returned.

"Apparently she wanted to see everything, so I've made a list, and I'm going to take her everywhere," Phoebe explained.

"Sounds complicated," Monica said.

"Hey, maybe we should go with you," Chandler suggested. "Maybe that's our UB too."

"Don't horn in on my unfinished business!" Phoebe snapped in Mrs. Adelman's voice.

"What just happened?" Monica asked.

"Apparently she heard you," Phoebe answered sheepishly.

"So weird," Monica muttered. "And I doubt that's my UB."

"You haven't figured it out yet, so how do you know?" Chandler challenged.

"You go ahead. I'm gonna hang out with Nana today," Monica said.

"Just don't moo," Phoebe warned Chandler as they left together.

"You all right, dearie?" Nana asked.

"I'm frustrated," Monica admitted.

"It'll be all right," Nana soothed. The door opened and Joey and Rachel came inside. "Oh! It's time for the Joey show. Heckles!"

"I'm coming," Mr. Heckles said, floating through the balcony window. Monica wasn't in the mood, so she went to her room.

...

Rachel was sitting on the couch thinking about how Ross had been when he told her about Susan and Carol getting married. He had that "let's get married" glint in his own eye, and she wondered if he was going to propose to Julie. Stupid Julie.

"You know, if Monica were here, she'd be in charge of this wedding," Joey said.

"I know."

"I wonder if Phoebe's dead old lady friend will be with us forever," Joey sighed. "She's mean."

"Yea! She told me I was basically a tramp," Rachel said, outraged.

"She told me I was stupid," Joey told her.

"What a bitch," Rachel said.

"Hey, do you think Monica or Chandler have possessed someone?" Joey asked, getting excited.

"No, Joe. I don't think so," Rachel shook her head. He deflated.

"I'd believe someone if they told me they were," he said.

"I know you would, but they're not here."

"I know," he said miserably. He really missed Chandler. People watching just wasn't the same anymore.

...

"Why are we here?" Chandler asked. Monica craned her neck.

"Cos Carol might be my UB," she answered. "We weren't really that close."

"I somehow doubt it."

"What? That we weren't close?"

"No, that she's your UB. I think it's Ross," Chandler told her.

"Um, no," Monica shook her head. "We were fine."

"Were you? You called him the Golden Boy I don't know how many times, and you acted all jealous of him."

"I did not!"

"Did too."

"Shush!" Phoebe ordered. They both stopped squabbling.

"Were too."

"Was not!"

"Don't make me get involved," Phoebe's Mrs. Adelman's voice said.

"There's Ross," Chandler pointed.

"Ugh. Still with Julie," Monica sighed. "Poor Rachel."

"Is she still in love with him?"

"I dunno."

Carol and Susan came down the aisle just then, and Phoebe's back straightened up.

"A lesbian wedding. Well, now I've seen everything," Mrs. Adelman's voice said. Monica and Chandler waited with bated breath.

"Oh! She's gone! She's gone!" Phoebe cried, making everyone stare at her. "Carry on! Get married!"

"Wow. Okay," Monica said, looking at Chandler. "It's that simple."

"It was for her. She knew what her UB was. We don't," Chandler pointed out.

"I really hope we figure this out soon," Monica sighed.

"You guys," Phoebe hissed. "Maybe you should try possessing me. I seem to have a talent."

"No way," Chandler shook his head.

"It's okay, Phoebs," Monica told her. "We will figure it out and soon." She watched Rachel and Joey putting their heads together to talk.

"No," Chandler said, seeing her watching.

"But..."

"No!"

"Fine."

...

"Good night, Joey," Rachel said, going into her apartment. It was so bare and empty. Her heart ached. She set down her keys and took off her coat, kicking her shoes aside. It had been awkward talking to Julie, but she got through it. Without Joey, she would be so lost. She got ready for bed and crawled under the covers.

"Good night, Mon," she said out loud. It seemed foolish, but sometimes she thought Monica just might still be in the apartment with her after all.


Thanks for reading!