Everything was perfect, and for once in her life Jo wasn't waiting for the other shoe to drop. Nothing would go wrong today, even if she had to rearrange the universe to make this wedding happen. But with her friends by her side, fate herself seemed to want to give them a break. The weather held warm, the connection with the Council was steady, the food was ready and no wardrobe malfunctions happened in the last moment.
Kasumi, Gabby and Tali helped Jo put on her peach coloured wedding dress. They couldn't get over how beautiful it looked. The bodice held her torso tightly while the skirt fell in a gentle wave to the floor, leaving a cut on the left side that showed off her entire leg. A mixture between a cape and long sleeves criss-crossed her back and wrapped around her arms, giving her the appearance of wings. Silver embroidery adorned the dress in strategic places, eliminating the need for jewellery. The only plight was the high-heeled pair of shoes the designer made her agree to wear. Jo had had enough training to wear those shoes for an undercover job, but on her own wedding day she didn't want to be playing a role. She wanted to be herself.
"I don't get how that's even possible," Kasumi shook her head. "How can you be sex on a stick for a job, but not know how to wear this stuff in private life? The skill is there, you just have to stop being afraid."
"Of what?"
"Of being a real woman, Jo," Tali seemed to agree with the thief. Even Gabby nodded:
"You have this picture of yourself in your head, that you have to be strong and tough at all times, ready to jump into a fight. Wearing dresses and high heels feels like a weakness to you."
"Well, excuse me for my life experience showing me that it's true. The last time I wore a dress and high heels, I fell through a fish tank, slid a hundred meters down along a wall, broke a hand and dislocated both shoulders."
"This is your wedding day and your entire crew is with you. Trust us just this once that we won't let anything to happen to you. You're safe today and it's fine to wear girly stuff. All you have to do is relax. Kolyat is keeping his eyes on the scanners, both long range and short range, and some of the guys will be wearing full battle armour and weapons, just in case."
"Who?"
"Vega, Wrex and Rodney."
Jo took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. The news did make her feel better. She got up from the chair to step into the shoes, when Alice came into the loft. She was acting as Liara's assistant wedding coordinator today, checking things off on her datapad and having a blast ordering around a crew of grown-ups.
"We're all ready for you, Jo," she said and bit her lip, a tear glimmering in her eyes: "You look so pretty!"
Jo stepped into the shoes and wobbled. Gabby grabbed her right hand, Tali the left and Jo was grateful for their support.
"I can do this," she whispered, soaking up the strength of her girlfriends. "I can be a girly girl for one day."
"That's the spirit," Kasumi cheered, when Jo's feet grew steadier, her back straightened and shoulders fell back. Her body took the stance the dress demanded and she became the bride she was supposed to be.
"Okay, let's go before I get too nervous," Jo nodded.
"You wouldn't be the only one," Alice snorted.
"Why? Is Joker nervous?"
"You bet your ass he is. Garrus must have the patience of a saint to be at his side all day."
"Jo," Kasumi nudged her in the side. "I think you're rubbing off on that girl, and not in a good way. Next thing you know, Sweet Cheeks will be telling the Council to bugger off."
"And what if I do?" Alice raised her nose petulantly. It was clear who her role model was, as all the elder women in the room laughed.
They made it down to the cargo bay, where Karin waited for Jo to walk her down the aisle. The cargo bay opened directly into the Prothean ruin, newly decorated as a wedding reception hall. Chairs were arranged in front of a QEC pad and people sat in them - all but Grunt. He buzzed around in a hover chair provided by a hospital back on Earth, since he had no legs yet. Jo could tell that he'd caused a lot of mess and destruction during the wedding preparations, but nobody could be really mad at him because of the pure joy in his face. Then again, she suspected he would pay for it once he had all his limbs again and people stopped feeling sorry for him.
The rest of the girls scurried ahead to take their assigned places and Jo wrapped her arm around Karin's elbow.
"Nervous?" Karin asked.
"Dying," Jo confessed. "Never in my life had I imagined this day would come. My wedding day. I feel like I'm having an out of body experience." She yelped when Karin laughingly pinched her arm. Hard. "Thanks for that!"
"Any time," the Doctor nodded, as if she'd truly done Jo a favour. Then her face softened and she lifted her free hand to cup Jo's cheek: "If I had a daughter who was even a little bit like you, I'd be the proudest mother in the world."
"And if my birth mother was even a little bit like you..." Jo's throat tightened. There was no need to continue that phrase. "Then again, why settle down for a daughter who's a little bit like me when you can... have me?" She swallowed hard, offering the elder woman her heart on a platter. Karin Chakwas looked back with wide eyes, touched to the tears:
"Then there's no need to settle down for a mother who's a little bit like me," she whispered through emotion. "I'll always be there for you." She tugged Jo closer and kissed her forehead. "You are radiant, more beautiful than ever. Now, dry your eyes and go make that boy the happiest man in the world."
Jo nodded. It was time.
Jo heard Alice call everyone's attention, then music started to play, some beautiful peace Jo had never heard. To answer her confusion about the music selection Karin produced a small plastic box and held it to Jo. It was a gift box, which had contained a data chip before it had been opened. On the lid of the box there was a printed picture of Jo and Joker from the interview back on Earth, when they'd announced their wedding. The caption to the picture said: "Dear Jeff, dear Johanna, you are an inspiration to everyone in the galaxy. Please allow this humble poet and composer to tell you that your announcement has inspired me for my finest work. This simple melody is dedicated just to the two of you. With eternal gratitude and most sincere congratulations on your union, Albion Montmorency."
"Do you know him?" Karin asked.
"Nope, never heard of the guy," Jo shrugged, but she was touched. The melody playing in the speakers was simple, but at the same time breathtakingly beautiful, almost ethereal.
"Well, perhaps you can start getting used to that. People will flock to you, but not just to ask for your help. Many will want to express their gratitude for all your hard work, and some will even be inspired by you to create something beautiful. Like this dress, and the song. Liara and I looked up this man. He's human and a serious poet and composer, like the box says. He writes score for vids most of the time. If you saw anything made in the last ten years, you've heard him."
The music swelled from a simple piano piece to full orchestra, tugging at Jo's heart in all the places that made her ache. On that cue Tali and Gabby started moving down the aisle, leading their little procession. Jo and Karin came next and entered the hall to a violin solo.
The hall was full of smiling faces. Everyone who had ever served on the Normandy and survived was present, and pictures of those who had passed away played on a big screen on one of the walls, making them a part of the ceremony. Everyone looked at Jo and she felt heat rise to her cheeks from all the attention, but her eyes zeroed in on the centre of her universe.
Joker wore a white suit which didn't hide his crooked shoulders. There was nothing in the world sexier in Jo's opinion than those crooked shoulders. His cap was gone and so was his trademark stubble. Jo realised that this was the first time she'd seen his face without any obstructions. His jaw was more prominent than the stubble had always indicated, the smooth skin making him appear younger, but his eyes betrayed not only his age, but everything he'd seen in life. The slightly haunted but determined look never quite left the thin wrinkles at the corners of his eyes, but when he saw her enter the hall, he visibly shuddered and sucked in a breath. The pure devotion and love shining at her through his eyes drove Jo to tears.
Then his look travelled down her body and the devotion turned to scorching need, which made Jo stumble a little. Oh, God, he was the master of eye-fucks and Jo never quite knew how to deal with her body's reaction to that. He melted her from the inside and drove all air out of her lungs. He just... turned her world upside down and inside out.
Before Jo knew what was happening, Tali and Gabby took their places opposite Garrus and Kenneth, as Karin squeezed Jo's hand one last time before handing her over to Joker. When he touched her, she realised that both their hands were trembling, which made her chuckle.
"Why'd you shave?" She whispered, unable to hide a huge grin.
"This is my wedding day," he whispered back. "Always dreamed I'd do that."
The holograms of the three Councillors, none of them human and thus none truly familiar with the human ceremony, waited for them to settle. Then the asari began:
"Dear ladies and gentlemen, mono-gendered friends, artificial intelligences and one space ship, welcome," she said with a hint of uncertainty, which vanished when the entire congregation nodded in approval. Jo didn't know who wrote the script, but it was clearly someone who knew all about the Normandy and her crew. "Jeff and Johanna have chosen you, those dearest and most special to them, to witness and celebrate their union and a beginning of their new life together. If there is anyone who knows of a reason why these two should not be joined in marriage, speak now or forever hold your peace." She waited a few seconds in silence. A little chill went down Jo's spine under the airy dress. The question was symbolic and she knew nothing would happen, but she still held her breath. What if there were objections? What if there was trouble just waiting for this moment to appear?
But nothing happened and everyone remained quiet. The asari continued:
"Today we create this marriage and strengthen the bond of this large, colourful family by uniting two people who have belonged together for a long time. It is a family all of you are a part of, whether as cherished friends in daily life or watching over this couple from the world beyond. Jeff, Johanna, love should have no other desire but to fulfil itself. But if your love and needs must have desires, let these be your desires: To melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night. To know the pain of too much tenderness. To wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving. To return home at eventide with gratitude. Then to sleep with a vision of the beloved in your heart and a song of love on your lips."
The salarian Councillor took over:
"True marriage begins well before the wedding day, and the efforts of marriage continue well beyond the ceremony's end. Remember to treat yourselves and each other with respect, and remind yourselves often of what brought you together. Take responsibility for making the other feel safe, cherished and warm. When frustration, difficulty and fear assail your relationship, remember to focus on what is right between you, not on what is wrong."
The turian Councillor had his turn:
"Now you will feel no rain, for each of you will be shelter for the other. Now you will feel no cold, for each of you will be warmth to the other. Now there will be no loneliness, for each of you will be companion to the other. Now you are two persons, but there is only one life before you. May beauty surround you both in the journey ahead and through all the years. Speak your vows now, if you please."
Joker opened his mouth, but Jo held up her hand:
"Let me go first, please. If you still want me after I'm finished, then we'll continue."
He looked confused, just like their guests, but she didn't let him interrupt her.
"Jeff, you know I'm not really a mushy girl to go down memory lane right now. I'll tell you things as they are. I'll probably always be more famous than you to the rest of the galaxy, the one in the spotlight while you'll mostly remain in my shadow. I'll be making more money than you. I'll railroad you into doing things my way. I'll be in charge of the TV program and of your wardrobe and I'll PMS at you like a real bitch. I'll blame you for things you haven't done and be insulted by things you haven't said. But. I'll also always tell you the truth. I'll be devoted to you with my heart, soul and body for the rest of my life. I will die for you, which you already know, but I'll also kill and torture for you. I'll always be on your side. When I say I love you, it's really got little to do with me. You're an insubordinate, prickly, vulgar, annoying, antisocial, rude, intrusive and stalkerish asshole and you couldn't possibly be more perfect that way. I can promise you today and forever that I love you just the way you are."
The humans among them looked shocked, the non-humans confused. It was nothing like a wedding vow anyone had ever heard. Joker looked at her with a little frown.
"Well," he shook his head a little. "You've been my CO from the day we met, I'm okay with that part and everything it entails. No need to pretend that things would suddenly change just because we're married." He cleared his throat with a smile spreading on his lips. "I think I might need to revise my own vow right now."
People chuckled and the atmosphere relaxed a little. After a moment he nodded to himself and began:
"I'll demand expensive gifts from you, since you'll be making all the money. I'll never let you fly my car or my shuttle because woman, you're a crappy driver!" People laughed at that, some of them remembering first hand. "I won't dance with you, 'cause you're a crappy dancer, too, and I don't want to be embarrassed in public." More laughter. "I'll always spy on you and even if you turn off your communicator, I'll find other ways," he referred to Mordin's chip under her skin. "I'll hack into all your accounts and use all your authorisation codes behind your back. I'll brag to every friend, foe, paparazzi and complete stranger in a bar that I scored the hottest piece of ass in the galaxy. And if you're asleep, I will just roll you over."
Jo laughed at the joke that once upon a time had offended Silvia Moreau. People seemed to enjoy themselves greatly. Jo pretended to think it over for a moment, then said:
"I'm okay with all of this."
The Councillors got over their shock about the deviation from the script pretty quickly.
"Do you, Jeff, take Johanna to be your lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, from this day forward for as long as you both shall live?"
"I do," he said after he swallowed hard and Jo knew that what she'd said to Vega last night was true: when Joker committed to something, he truly committed, and saying 'I do' right now hadn't been a step he'd taken lightly, which made it all the more humbling.
"Do you, Johanna, take Jeff to be your lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, from this day forward for as long as you both shall live?"
"I do," she almost croaked through a dry throat and even though she knew she wouldn't have it any other way, the words still felt like a punch to her solar plexus. This was it. The most important promise of her life. And it was done.
"Please, exchange the rings," the turian urged them and Garrus produced a black velvet box, which Joker took from him carefully. His hands were shaking a little bit. It relieved Jo, just seeing him so nervous, knowing that it wasn't just her, that he was as affected as she was. The moment that thin golden band slipped onto her finger, it felt heavy with all it symbolised. This was truly a beginning of a new life for Jo. In her old life as an N7 agent, a highly efficient killing machine, she could not afford such a distinguishing mark as a wedding ring, something that could break her finger if she punched someone in battle. From now on, if she truly meant to always wear it, she would have to work around many things.
But when it was her turn and she put a ring on Joker's finger, the possessiveness rolled over her like a tidal wave. This man belonged to her and she would do whatever was needed to always keep him.
"By the power vested in us by the people of this galaxy," the asari smiled broadly, as the salarian continued:
"Which is the only authority you two recognise anyway," he also smiled and let the turian finish:
"We now pronounce you husband and wife. You may seal your vows with a kiss."
Jo immediately found herself grabbed, pulled against a hard chest and basically mauled. Her knees gave in from the heat of the need the kiss ignited in her belly, but Joker held her tight and didn't let her fall. Somewhere far away people were laughing and cheering and clapping their hands, but Jo paid them no heed. This was her husband kissing her now.
Her husband!
The word rolled reverently inside her mind, making itself at home there. She had a husband now. She belonged to someone in a real, legal and most official of ways.
The turian Councillor proclaimed:
"I give you Mr and Mrs Moreau!"
Jo had to wrap both arms around Joker's neck to keep from falling over. Ms Shepard, the hard, lone warrior, was gone forever. Jo was Mrs Moreau now. Someone new, someone exciting, someone she couldn't wait to explore.
"Holy bejeezus, Jo," Joker whispered in her ear, nuzzling her with his smooth cheek. "We did it."
"Can you walk? I can't walk," she gasped, breathless.
"Walk? I can't even stand. If you weren't holding me up..."
"I thought you were the one holding me up," she laughed.
Their salvation came in form of the man who had always been a brother and soul mate to them both, loyal and true in life, death and most emotional moment of their life. Garrus wedged himself between them and the QEC pad, wrapped his arms around them both and helped them turn towards their audience without falling over.
"Congratulations," he grinned widely and that served as the cue for all the others to rush forward to hug and congratulate the newlyweds as well.
For a while Jo and Joker lost each other in the crowd of their well-wishing family. The Councillors ended the transmission, leaving them to their celebration, now that their official role was finished.
There was some kind of plan for the party afterwards, according to the human tradition of bouquet throwing and a first dance, but since Jo had been banned from preparations, she didn't know what exactly was going to happen. Alice, the mistress of ceremonies for tonight, finally directed everyone to stand back and indeed told Jo to throw her bouquet. Tali caught it, which made everyone cheer, except Tali herself. And Garrus. Jo sneaked a glance at her best friend and saw a strange sadness in his eyes as he watched Tali holding those flowers. By now Jo was done intruding into their affairs. It was entirely up to him if Tali was the one getting married next, so all he had to do was make a move.
Then, Jo figured, they were going to move this party to the section of the hall with food and drinks, since Joker had proclaimed so publicly that he wasn't going to dance with her. Hence, Jo was caught completely off-guard when music started playing and Garrus grabbed her hand. Too late did she realise that the music was a tango and that Garrus was dragging her away from Joker towards the dance floor.
"What are you doing?!" She whispered and dug in her heels. It didn't help even a bit.
"You'll see," Garrus dragged her even harder, swirled her around so that her dress flew in a beautiful arch, and brought her into the dancing position.
"No!" Jo tried to get away from him. "No, nononono!"
"It'll be fun!" He declared as Alice, the traitor, turned the music louder. People immediately cleared a circle for them, completely perplexed. Garrus started moving with the tango rhythm and Jo resisted at first. Fuck, she barely remembered the steps, it had been... years since she'd tangoed for the last time.
"You're gonna pay for this, Vakarian!" She hissed.
"Promises, promises," he mocked her, increasing the length of his steps, making her follow his lead for real.
Okay, fuck it, she decided. He wanted to out her in front of everyone? Maybe that little secret was due to be revealed. Tango it was, then.
Her body remembered the steps even if her brain didn't. People gasped when she moved along with the turian, getting more and more into the sensual dance, then kicked it up a notch: after one of the sharp turns she put that split in her dress to a good use and lifted her leg to his hip.
"Now you're getting it!" Garrus laughed joyfully, while people around them either cheered or gawked with slack jaws.
Despite everything it was actually great to dance again. Garrus was a fantastic partner, too, even though Jo had no idea how and where he'd learned to tango. But he really put her through her paces as long as the music lasted until she was out of breath and laughing. When the final chord sounded, he twisted her hard and pushed her in the back. Jo made a few quick steps to keep from falling and suddenly found herself right in front of her new husband.
With an unreadable expression on his face, Joker didn't hesitate. He grabbed her at her waist and neck and dipped her in an old-fashioned Hollywood kiss. Now the tango was perfect.
The cheer that followed was louder and more excited than any other the Normandy crew had made to date. Completely flustered from the unexpected dance and the explosive kiss, Jo let Joker dominate her. When he finally put her upright again, she was flushed and totally embarrassed by having been outed so spectacularly. On the other hand, even if Joker couldn't dance tango, this was still their day and the dance ended with them kissing, so it was alright.
"Garrus!" Jack, Liara and others started talking all at once. "How did you know? And Jo, you can dance?!"
"Why didn't you ever say anything?"
"Why did you always make those weird moves?"
"Where did you learn?"
"Who started that rumour that you can't dance anyway?"
"Ash did," Jo finally said, and their friends fell silent. Ashley had started the rumour years ago after Jo had been less than enthusiastic in a club on the Citadel after some rough mission. "It has become such a great point of amusement to all of you since then that I didn't have the heart to correct you. And then it was just kind of Ashley's legacy."
"Okay," Jack nodded. "But I still want to know how you knew, Garrus."
The turian mischievously opened his omnitool and waved it at the big screen on the wall.
"Remember Bendai, Jo?" He asked. Jo's guts froze.
"Of course I remember Bendai. Question is: how the fuck do you even know about Bendai?"
"I found this accidentally through a friend of a friend of a friend. This footage was taken years ago, when turians knew a lot less about humans than we do now. Apparently the guy who filmed you with his omnitool had a bet with his buddies that not all humans looked the same. When he saw your blond hair, he had to get proof. He saved the vid, only to realise years later that it was none other than Commander Shepard he was looking at that day."
A vid started playing on the screen and everyone in the room flocked around it to watch with fascination.
On the screen, filmed with a shaky omnitool from behind a moving crowd of drinking and dancing people, Jo saw herself at the tender age of twenty four, wearing a tight red dress, crazy high heels and her hair in a complicated knot that left several soft curls tumbling down her back and neck.
Fuck, she swore under her breath. The good old days.
"Garrus, do you have any idea how classified this is?!" Jo protested, but Garrus just laughed:
"If it were classified, then you should have paid better attention to who was filming you."
Joker had to agree with Garrus on that one. One arm wrapped around his wife, he looked at the screen. In the vid Jo was dancing tango with some human guy, as dark in his colouring as she was light. She was a good dancer, but the guy couldn't keep up with her. He kept stomping on her feet. She was whispering angrily into his ear, until she finally had had enough and pushed him away.
He threw his hands up in a 'whatever, fuck you' gesture and turned towards the bar. Jo remained on the dance floor, rolling her eyes in disappointment. She stood alone, eyes closed, and moved slightly to the music, when someone else approached her. It was another human guy, older than her, but wearing the air of money and confidence. He held his hand out to her. His words couldn't be heard over the noise the omnitool was picking up, but it was clear that he deemed himself a better dancer than Jo's black-haired partner. She eyed the newcomer sceptically, but accepted his hand.
He swirled her around and led her in a dance that took everyone's breath away. The bar patrons watched with interest and the guy holding the omnitool caught the sight of the black-haired crappy dancer. He was glaring at Jo and her new partner, downing one shot after another. His expression was becoming darker and darker with every swirl and frivolous move of the dancing couple. Jo and her new partner, obviously a good match on the dance floor, kept throwing amused glances at the dark guy, until the song ended. The angry man downed another shot and pushed himself away from the bar, his intention to confront the interloper quite clear. Before he could, however, Jo grabbed the rich man's hand and they ran for the exit together, laughing on their way. The moody, black-haired guy followed them right out and the vid ended.
"What the fuck was that?" Jack demanded to know with amused fascination.
"That was an undercover mission on Bendai some ten years ago," Jo shook her head with resignation and began explaining. "My target was a man who frequented nightclubs and prided himself on being a good dancer. I played a girl who desperately wanted to have a good time, but my partner couldn't give it to me, so my target had to rescue me. Which he did, as you could see."
"Who's the dark crappy dancer dude?" Joker asked. Garrus obligingly stilled the vid at a clear picture of Jo's original partner. Joker and everyone around them took in the guy's features for real. His stomach sunk to the floor. "Jo, he's..."
"Stunning? Magnifique? Atemberaubend? Mezurashī hana? Aнгельское лицо? Hermoso?" Jo looked up at Joker and shrugged a little. "Yes, he'd heard it all, and he knew it."
She was right, too. Joker didn't know half of the languages she'd just used, but he got the gist of it. The man was more than just handsome, he was truly breathtaking, and Joker wasn't the only one who was realising it. Everyone present, men, women and non-sexual beings (Link) all stared at the screen in awe. Black hair cut in a way that brought out his brilliant black eyes and accentuated the graceful line of his neck, the noble, straight nose, full lips, broad shoulders... Fuck, Joker wasn't into men at all, and yet he couldn't look away from the ethereal beauty of the guy. If Jo could have a man like that even back then, what was she doing marrying him now? He wasn't even close to this guy's league, looks-wise.
"Name's Rashid Mohameddi," Jo said with sad resignation, while everyone was staring at the screen in trance caused by the man's indescribable beauty. "He was a fellow N3 and actually a god on the dance floor. It takes a lot of skill to pretend to be bad, you know. The Academy had paired us off to be partners for several undercover missions and we'd been taught tango and other dances in a class together."
"So," Joker spoke up. "When you, I and Brooks went to Khan's casino party back in the day and you said it was nice to have a gorgeous accomplice..."
"You were not my first, no. Rashid held that honour. And he was a great, truly great accomplice in every way. He was my backup and never made even the slightest mistake when we worked together."
"You keep talking about him in past tense, Jo," Wrex observed.
"Yeah," she sighed quietly, so that only Joker felt it because his arm was wrapped around her. "We completed our N3 training together, went out on a couple of undercover missions, but then I moved on to bigger and greater things in N4. I took Hostile Negotiations, as in counter-terrorist work. He remained in the undercover branch for a while because the job was made for him, or he was made for the job. It's funny. He came from the poorest of circumstances and was a drill instructor of all things until he was noticed and recruited by the ICA. They saw his potential and helped him realise it, but when I moved on, he decided he didn't want to be objectified anymore, didn't want to be whored out like a pretty doll. So he took Hostile Negotiations as well. I was in N5 by the time he was supposed to graduate, but that mission went horribly wrong for him. He was killed."
"Oh," Joker sighed. "Were you sleeping with him?" That was truly all he wanted to know now that he knew the guy was dead and not a rival.
"Gosh, no," Jo chuckled. "Never even been tempted. Maybe that's why I was paired off with him, because I was immune to his charm. But everyone at the ICA thought we would do the deed, so there was a bet going around. By the time we parted ways, the bet was up to 93 thousand credits saying we'll fuck eventually. When he was killed, the rest of us put our efforts together, made it a round sum of a hundred thousand and sent it to his parents to help them out of the slums. As far as I know, they started some sort of a scholarship with it, helping the homeless or something like that."
Joker was deeply fascinated by all these revelations about Jo's past, when he suddenly remembered something:
"Uh, can I take back one of my wedding vows?"
Everyone burst out laughing and the sombre mood broke, bringing back the party cheer.
"The bit about not dancing with me?" Jo beamed at him. "Yeah, you can have that one back."
"Good!" Joker gave her a hard kiss and Alice declared that it was time for food.
Despite Joker taking back the not dancing vow the two of them didn't dance. They listened to toasts and cut the cake and just sat together at their table, surrounded by Wrex, Vega, Tali and Garrus, lazily talking into the evening.
Joker kept looking at Jo's hairdo and his fingers itched to touch.
"Can I mess up your hair?" He asked in jest and was surprised when she turned her head to let him.
"It's all for you anyway, so you can do whatever you like," she said. He heard in her voice how pleased she was by his attention. Without hesitation he dug his fingers into her hair and destroyed the artful knot. She'd probably spent hours fixing it earlier. It was the kind of destruction that made him hard in his pants.
Jo shook her head and let the hair fall in free waves as she plucked some sort of a hair pin out of the thick tresses.
"What's that?" Joker asked and took the item from her. It was made of blue metal he didn't know the name of and the colour looked rather at odds with her dress.
"Oh, you know, that Earth tradition: something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue? My dress is new, but this pin is old, blue and borrowed. Tali brought it for me from Rannoch."
"It used to belong to my great-great-great-great-grandmother. I may have missed a few greats there, but she used to wear it before the quarians started wearing suits full time," Tali explained. "I remembered that human tradition from Gabby and Ken's wedding and just decided to bring it along as a suggestion."
"You honoured me greatly with this," Jo nodded.
Around nightfall the hall lit up with tiny lights, giving the ambience a fairytale flair. That was when Joker nodded at Alice and she disappeared for a moment. When she came back, she was carrying a box wrapped as a gift.
"I have a little wedding present for you," Joker said when Alice put the box in front of Jo with a huge grin on her face. Jo hummed at the surprise and ripped the paper open. Inside she found a shi'iola, a little tree from Thessia with glowing pink leaves.
"Oh, my god," she gasped. "It's just like the one that you gave me for Christmas in Vancouver!" She couldn't help herself and leaned in to hug the low pot.
"Yeah, that one is probably buried under ten feet of rubble. But hey, since we're settling down now, I thought you can start your own garden with this one."
"Thank you, my love," she kissed him tenderly, her hands running over the glowing leaves. "D'you figure this one likes 'Sheherazade' as well?"
"Guess we'll find out soon enough," he shrugged. "I haven't tried yet. It's yours to get to know."
"You're right about ten feet of rubble," Vega commented. "After the war was over and we returned to Earth, I took a few days off and went back to Vancouver. Remember that piece of the first Normandy that you gave me?" He asked Joker. "It was in my room when the Reapers arrived, but I hoped to find it again. The Alliance HQ was one huge mess when I got there. Completely abandoned, though, and thank heavens for that. I stayed for five days, digging through the rubble."
"Did you find it?"
"Yeah, I did!" Vega beamed. "The crystal is cracked on one side now and scratched to hell, but that only gives it more character. More history. It's now a war survivor, like the rest of us. I keep it in my duffel now, so that I can always grab it."
"I have a little wedding present for you as well," Jo turned her megawatt smile to Joker. "As the new leader of the IC Academy I'm looking for new staff and it's my pleasure to inform you that you are now the Flight Instructor for the ICA."
Silence fell over the table.
"That wasn't the present, my love," Jo spoke into the shocked hush.
"Oh, no?" Joker croaked. His heart was beating like Tuchanka's gong in his chest. What just happened?! He - an instructor at the ICA?!
"No. The real present is the authorisation that comes with the position. As a staff member you have full unrestricted access to all Academy files. All of them. Including my personnel file."
The world stood still around Joker as he let the news wash over him. To read her file, to find out about all her little secrets like the tango dancing and the stunningly beautiful partner in crime from Garrus' vid, to learn everything there was to know about her...
"Is that an erection?" Wrex's laughter rumbled like a distant storm. "Does the news of reading her file get you hard?"
"Yes," Joker managed to press out through his dry throat. "Yes, it does."
Tali chuckled:
"I suppose you knew what you were doing with that wedding present, Jo."
"Yeah, of course," Jo nodded, pleased with herself. "However, maybe this is a good opportunity to forward some more invitations to my new Academy. Tali, I would like to invite you to join me as a Combat Technology and AI Instructor. And you, Garrus, as Weapons and Hand to Hand Combat Instructor. It would mean that you'll have to move with us to Chrysalis, but I sure hope you both accept. You won't be the only turian and quarian there, either, since I'm expanding the Academy to a multi-species project." What Joker heard between the lines was Jo's offer of an opportunity for the couple to be together again. Jo didn't say so, but he knew that even though she wasn't actively pushing Garrus and Tali into each other's arms any longer, she still wanted to give them the opportunity to come together on their own.
"Are you sure, Jo?" Garrus shifted nervously. "I'm not an... N, if you please. Not even a part of human military. How can I be an instructor?"
"You don't have to be an N yourself. You get to tell other Ns how to be Ns. And this being a multi-species project, it's a good thing you aren't human. It's my judgement that determines whether or not you're qualified, and I say you're qualified." She looked at Wrex: "You're also more than qualified, but I figured you have your own planet and your entire species to run. But if you ever want a break from that, you always have a job at my place."
"I'll keep that in mind when the females start bringing all the pups sired by me to the clan meetings," the giant growled. "Out of curiosity, what kind of instructor would you have me be?"
"Believe it or not: Peacekeeping. You may not be the most polite krogan I've ever met, but you handled yourself with awe-inspiring decorum when it came to negotiating peace between your clans as well as with other species. That's the kind of peace keeping that we need more of. In fact, it would be especially nice if a former krogan mercenary and the meanest, toughest SOB on Tuchanka was teaching people how to keep peace the krogan way. The galaxy could learn that you don't have to be polite and gentle to create peace and cooperation. Don't have to be a cute, blonde human girl, either."
Vega's omnitool pinged and he opened to read the message. He, Wrex and Rodney hadn't lost their battle gear all day long and Joker hated to admit it, but he felt safer this way.
"I'd love to work with you, Jo," Garrus declared. "At least this time it doesn't look like a one way ticket to hell," Garrus teased.
"Been there, done that," Jo waved her hand dismissively. "Wasn't impressed. And thanks. Tali, what about you?"
Tali, her face for some reason still hidden behind the purple mask, fidgeted.
"I'll think about it, okay?" She said nervously. "I'll really think about it."
"Don't think too long. I need you," Jo insisted.
"Uhm," Vega looked up from the message he was reading. "I don't mean to interrupt this mutual admiration feast, but... This just came in from the Admiral of the Homefront Fleet..."
"Of what?" Wrex frowned.
"Oh, right, you didn't get the memo yet," Joker said. "Admiral Hackett resigned and Prime Minister Akiyama moved forward a motion about restructuring the Alliance. There is now the Homefront Fleet, which is stationed in the Sol System, guarding Earth and our mass relay. There is Outreach Fleet, which is the main bulk of human forces and divided in many smaller fleets patrolling and protecting the colonies. And finally the Ascension Fleet, humanity's contribution to the Council, at their complete disposal. Each of these fleets just got a new Admiral assigned, and on Jo's insistence they aren't from Hackett's inner circle. All of it is maybe a few days old, so the announcement hasn't been made public yet. So, Vega, what does the Admiral want from you?"
"It's not that he wants something... I'm ordered hereby to haul my ass to Earth in order to accept my promotion to Staff Lieutenant in person." He looked up at the rest of them, a bit shell-shocked.
"Well-earned, I'd say," Jo nodded. "Since you never officially left the Alliance, you shouldn't be surprised."
"Yeah, but... Whoah," he shuddered with visible pleasure and excitement, but then looked up at Jo with suspicion. "Wait. You're my CO, so you had to send in a report, a suggestion and a letter of recommendation for this to be set in motion."
"So what if I did? By the way, if I were you, I'd hold off the celebration party."
"Why?" He blinked in total shock. When the rest of the table only smiled at him enigmatically and he still didn't get it, Joker sighed and explained:
"Because this is not the end of your promotion. The next one will come knocking before you can send out party invitations."
"You're shitting me, right?" He made a good impersonation of a goldfish for a while. When Jo remained serenely serious, he swallowed. "Two promotions in a row?"
"It's the least you deserve, it's my opinion as your CO."
"Say, Lola, I never dared ask, but now I have to. Did I ever earn even a single N rank in all this time you've been training me?"
"Maybe, maybe not. We'll discuss that when our honeymoon is over and the Academy opens for business."
"And speaking of honeymoon," Joker took Jo's hand. "We've been thinking, after our little adventure in the Alps, that since we're moving to Chrysalis, we could spend our honeymoon on Earth, at one of those beautiful spots the Reapers haven't touched. Our last goodbye to the planet, so to speak. So, we'll be leaving tomorrow and whoever wants a ride, be on board for the take-off."
"Roger that," Vega nodded eagerly. Joker tugged Jo to her feet and waved the rest of them goodbye, dragging her after him. She wasn't really resisting. Garrus saluted them, Wrex laughed and Tali hunched down in her seat. Was it just him or did the quarian look entirely too miserable? What was up with that?
Joker forgot all about Tali when he and Jo stepped into the elevator. His stomach knotted at the thought: This is my wedding night and the beginning of the rest of my life.
