Well, it appears I have a bit of explaining to do...
Omg I'm so sorry you guys had to wait this long, but always know that I do have the intention of finishing this story. First of all, I'm so sorry that I've been gone for a while. I know I wanted to help with the whole "Keep Transformers Alive" thing, but some personal stuff happened and I had to just go on hiatus, although I didn't think my hiatus would be so long. Junior year was long and hard for me, but I'm glad that I finished it, and I can't wait to start senior year...I'm excited but a bit nervous. Thanks as always for being the patient, and amazing readers that motivate me to write; xXTheLegendXx, Khalthar, SolusPrime2004, BlushLouise, maria-ioanna984, CastielLunaWinchester, mostly a reader fangirl99, TheCauldron, Guest, NovaShifter15, jgoss, DarkshadowXsunny-sides, astrochrist, aquarius89, Lucialin, belladu57, and AnonymousReader!
So yes a MILLION apologies for this late update, but to appease you I give you perhaps the longest chapter I've ever written for CR. It was a lot of fluff, but also some angst so beware ;)
Chapter Forty-Three: Complete
(Charlie's POV)
"Well, look who finally came back from the dead." Jenna teased, upon me entering the Food Hall the next morning. Quickshift was skating along beside me.
"Har, har." I said in a dry tone, rubbing at my eyes and resisting the urge to yawn. To be honest, it had been hard to fall back asleep when I'd woken up after another nightmare. Unciron didn't make an appearance, but I sensed it had something to do with him since I was stuck in a place full of burning, sweltering rock and fire. But once I'd convinced myself that I wasn't really there and I was with my family, I managed to fall back into a dreamless sleep. That was, until Quickshift had woken me up by knocking obnoxiously loud on the door.
"What took you so long to get her, anyway?" Jenna asked, glancing at the said red mini-bot.
"Hey! It's not my fault," Quickshift protested, crossing his arms, "She was the one who took forever to wake up. And then tried to throw a pillow at me after!" He said, glaring at me pointedly.
I gave him an innocent, toothy-grin with a shrug before perking up at the smell of sizzling bacon. "Oh! Is that bacon I smell?"
"Not your best attempt at changing the subject, but yes." Jenna nodded, passing the plate of breakfast over to me as I sat down at the table. "You're lucky I managed to get this much, they were really devouring that bacon." She said, referencing to the soldiers all around us with a nod of her head.
"Thank you, Jenna." I said gratefully, before picking up a fork and digging in. I didn't realize how hungry I was until I took a first bite of the hash browns, and sighed in satisfaction.
"Yuck." I heard Quickshift mutter from beside me, and I turned to him with a raised eyebrow. He was too busy glaring at the food on my plate to notice, before he rolled his eyes with a shake of his peanut-shaped head, "I don't understand how ya humans could digest that stuff. It smells like hot garbage."
"Better than ingesting poisonous, blue radioactive juice." Jenna retorted, as she took a sip of her orange juice.
Quickshift's lips puckered in a frown, "It's called Energon."
"I know." She said, in a sing-songy way. I just laughed quietly at their banter as I ate my breakfast.
The red mini-bot suddenly turned to me, "Hey Charlie, you ever thought about drinkin' Energon?"
I nearly choked on my bacon. "Well," I said, clearing my throat and biting my lip, "Considering the last time I did I almost died...I'm gonna have to give that a solid pass."
"Ain't ya part Cybertronian now though?" He commented, before shrugging, "Ya never know, ya might like it."
"I'll take my chances with human food." I said, perking up at the indubitable sensation of someone staring at me. I looked up to see that it was in fact, Jenna looking at me. Her eyebrows were raised and her lips were quirked in an almost ghost of a smirk, like she knew something that I didn't. "What is it?" I asked, playing off the intensity of her gaze with a chuckle.
She suddenly looked away, "Oh, nothing..."
I raised an eyebrow, as if silently telling her to continue. She didn't. "Jenna?"
"Hmm?" She hummed, taking another sip of her orange juice. She was definitely hiding something.
What's going on with her? I commed Quickshift, still looking at her.
Frag if I know. I'm just as lost as ya. He answered honestly.
The ginger suddenly broke into a smile.
I sighed, "Okay, you clearly wanna tell me something."
"No, I don't."
"Jenna, I'm your best friend. It's impossible to hide things from me."
She opened her mouth to say something, but whatever she was going to say was interrupted by the sudden invasion of renowned the scent of faint oil, bright blue eyes, and platinum blonde strands in my vision. Sideswipe's holoform had been standing behind me, his hands wrapped loosely around my waist as his head peeked over my shoulder, greeting me with a delighted, pearly-white smile. Sunstreaker was standing a little ways off to the right of me, his arms casually crossed and his signature frown in place as he watched.
"Charlieee." The silver twin squealed, in an almost child-like manner as he embraced me.
As the shock flooded out of my systems at the sudden embrace, I smiled as I turned my head to look at him. He was so close to me that I could see the glimmer of lights from the ceiling reflecting across his baby blue irises. "You're pretty happy today." I said as I greeted him, before turning to Sunstreaker, "Hey guys, what's up?"
"I'm always happy to see you." Sideswipe replied with a charming smile, before pulling away to stand straight again.
"I thought you guys had training today." I said with a hint of confusion as I looked between them.
The silver twin shrugged, "We rescheduled it for later on today. I'm pretty sure Ol Hide doesn't care who comes into training, as long as he gets to blast the slag outta someone with his cannons. Besides," He said, suddenly looking anxious as he shifted his weight from one foot to the other, "We er...actually came here to talk to you about something."
"Finally." I heard Jenna mumble, and didn't miss the glare Sunstreaker quickly sent her way.
Once again, I felt the feeling of being displaced and out of the loop come over me again. First it was with Jenna, and now it was with the twins. What the hell is going on? I looked back at the twins, "Um, okay. What is it?"
Sideswipe's eyes widened, "O-oh! Uh," He scratched the back of his neck, "Well, we should probably um..."
"Go somewhere more private." Sunstreaker supplied.
"Oh, okay." I said, still confused as I stood up and pushed my chair back.
"Wait, hold ya horses! Y'all had Charlie the whole day yesterday, it's my day!" Quickshift protested, pointing at himself.
"You can have her back after we're done," Sideswipe said, "It won't take that long."
"But-"
"Quickshift, let them talk." Jenna said, still looking on with that knowing, omniscient gaze. The red mini-bot finally gave up with an indignant sigh, crossing his arms as he stayed seated in the stool he pulled up to the table. Jenna gave me a short nod, as if to say, I'll watch him, and I nodded back with silent gratitude, before turning to the twins, the apprehension suddenly so thick that it felt tangible.
"Let's go." I said softly, and both of them nodded before we exited the cafeteria.
As soon as we left the cafeteria, the twin's holoforms disappeared immediately, which didn't startle me. I knew exactly where their alte modes were, and met up with them easily inside the Autobot hangar. Sideswipe had knelt down to offer me his palm, and like clockwork I skillfully crawled on top of his hand, used to the stomach-dropping sensation in change of elevation as the silver twin rose back to his original height, and we were off again.
We had ended up right in front of the door to the twin's rooms. For all the time that I've been here, I had never seen the inside of their room before, and the idea of finally being able to be here had my heart jumping slightly with excitement. But I was overall still very concerned; the twins weren't acting like themselves, they were very quiet. I had been around Sunstreaker long enough to be accustomed to his silence because of his introverted personality, but where Sunstreaker lacked in social skills, Sideswipe had all but radiated. He loved to talk, he was always talking, and very loudly too. So to see both him and Sunstreaker strangely silent throughout the entire walk over here once again did nothing but raise warning bells in my head. I couldn't stop the thoughts that raced through me; has something happened? Were they about to tell me bad news? Did it have to do with the dark energy? Did it have to do with...him?
It took a lot of my willpower not to let a cold shiver run down my spine at the thought of those haunting amethyst eyes lurking in the back of my mind. Instead, I pushed those thoughts away, and focused on now. Now, Sideswipe had palmed the panel on the side of the wall, and the metal door slid open with a sharp burst of air. It was dark at first, but as soon as Sideswipe stepped inside, the fluorescent lighting bloomed, allowing me to take in the new environment. The twin's room was both expected and unexpected.
It was large, like every other Autobot's room, and felt especially enormous because of my height. There was a large, flat-screen tv bolted onto the wall on the farthest side of the room, where a large sofa fastened out of a hunk of metal was placed near it. There were two equally enormous speakers on either sides of the flat-screen, a small (but still quite large) coffee table between that and the couch. There was a ceiling-to-floor shelf that housed a bunch of cans of paint, buffing, and waxing tools which was a no-brainer as to who it was for. On the other side of the wall, was where the berth was. Or actually, berths because after another glance I had realized that there had been two berths but the twins simply shoved them together to make an extra large one. It was cute really.
A smile tugged at the corner of my lips at the thought of it.
The twin's room was also very messy and cluttered, it almost felt like I had walked into Colton's room back in Kennewick. There were energon cubes scattered across the coffee table, some one the floor and some on their berth. There were random large metal parts that looked like they were being used to build something scattered around the living area too, but what surprised me the most were the human-size posters of pop-culture movies, bands, and paintings that hung on the walls, giving an a homey air to the otherwise monotonous gray walls. Things like CDs were stacked up against the speakers, and magazines. A part of me briefly wondered how they had managed to get a hold of these things, and why they had them considering their size. It was actually kind of funny, to picture Sideswipe trying to read a human-sized magazine or put on a CD with his large fingers.
"Han Solo?" I teased softly, quirking an eyebrow as I nodded towards the largest poster on their wall, which hung right over their berths.
"Hey, giant alien robots from space can like Star Wars too." Sideswipe replied in an equal light tone. It was the first time he spoke up since we left the cafeteria, and that made my smile widen a bit.
"That's fair," I said, taking in the room one more time before turning to give my full attention to the twins, "Now what is it that you guys clearly need to tell me?"
Sideswipe's eyes flashed with an unreadable emotion for a moment, before his lips pulled into a tight smile, "I think you might want to sit down for this one, Schlemiel."
I glanced at Sunstreaker again, his face just as hard to read. Frustrated slightly, I crawled off of the silver twin's palm as he lowered me onto the berth. I made myself comfortable, dangling my legs off the side as I looked up at them. Even with this new added height, I still only reached up to their hips. Sideswipe crouched down, Sunstreaker following him not a moment later, and it was silent again.
I couldn't take the silence.
"Guys," I practically whined, the earlier excitement clouding over with dread, "Please, just tell me if something is wrong. It's okay, I can take it. I won't have a panic attack if that's what you're so afraid of. I just-"
"Woah there," Sideswipe interrupted with a soft chuckle, "It is news, but it's not bad news. It's just...going to be a lot to take in for you, and we want to prepare you as best as we can. We also just need a moment to gather our thoughts."
I opened my mouth to protest, but whatever I was going to say faded away at the sound of Sideswipe's smooth voice as he explained. Feeling a little bit less panicky now, I allowed myself to relax as the twins seemed to share a long, anxious conversation with each other through looks. After a few more minutes of silence had gone by, I bit my lip, dropping my gaze to my lap while I fidgeted with the necklace around my neck absentmindedly. They told me they needed a little bit of time, so I would wait until they were ready.
"Charlie," It was Sideswipe again, and I looked up eagerly to face his pale blue optics. I would never get over how beautifully fascinating his optics wore, or Sunstreaker's. They both enraptured me. The silver twin looked nervous again, his optics kept glancing back and forth between me and the floor, and Sunstreaker was almost unmoving as he watched with guarded optics. "...you know how we'd do anything to protect you, and keep you safe right?"
I nodded, because it was true. They would do anything to keep me safe and so would I. They were family to me now, and I always protect my family.
"Well, it's because we've developed a deep connection with you over these past months." Sideswipe went on, and I almost reeled at the thought. It had been more than a couple of months by now, almost a year had passed since I had discovered Sideswipe in the rubble of my father's friend's junkyard. A wave of sudden nostalgia surged through me. Has it really been that long?
I looked back up at the twins, who still looked uneasy. I nodded for him to continue.
"And well, when a Cybertronian forms a close connection with someone, their sparks start to reach out to each other, forming a special connection on a specific wavelength. That wavelength is called a bond. On this wavelength, you're able to send your emotions, and communicate with each other telepathically." He continued.
My eyes widened, "Is that why I can comm you guys? Because we have a bond?"
Sideswipe's optics widened, and Sunstreaker snorted quietly.
"Uhm...well, not exactly. You're kind of a special case cuz of the whole dark energy manifesting inside of you thing. And um...some specific things would have to happen for this particular type of bond to work."
I raised an eyebrow in confusion at that, "What specific things?"
Sideswipe's cheek turned blue, "We'll uh...get back to that later. Let's just focus on the subject of bonds, yeah? So there are several types of bonds Cybertronians can make with another person. There's the sibling bond, which is what Sunny and I have. The Sire-Carrier-Sparkling bond, which is what bonds a sparkling to their parents, and there's the Sparkmate bond- the most special of them all because you are bonded to the person you love for all eternity." Sideswipe said, and then added as an afterthought, "Well, there are Friendship bonds too, but those aren't as strong as the other types."
I nodded slowly, taking in the information the silver twin had given me. "So...what kind of bond do we have?"
Silence again.
And then, suddenly the golden twin had spoken up, leaning down to be closer. His dark blue optics felt like they were boring into my soul with the intensity of his stare, "We care about you, Charlie. More than you think, more thank we'd ever thought we could care about someone other than ourselves."
"Yeah," Sideswipe continued, "And if these past months have taught us anything, it's to not take anything for granted. Even for robot aliens who can live for thousands of years, life can be short. There's always something that can happen, and take away our happiness. And what's the point of living if it's without happiness?"
My eyebrows furrowed slightly. I wasn't sure where they were going with this.
"You are our happiness Charlie." Sunstreaker admitted softly, and suddenly the whole atmosphere of the room changed. I could feel a warm sensation sinking into my chest and kick-starting my heart again. I could feel the heat prickle my cheeks as I looked up into their optics, glowing with an emotion so powerful that I could feel it weighing against my chest. Suddenly, the twins were a lot closer than I had remembered them being, their optics so close that I could get lost in the trance, but I held myself back.
A furious blush spread across my face, "I-I am?"
Sideswipe seemed to smile at that, the apprehension melting away as he beamed down at me. "Of course you are! We...we love you Charlie."
Everything seemed to stop. Well, at least my breathing did; it felt like all of the air had been sucked out of my lungs, leaving me feeling light and breathless. The warm heat had suddenly turned into a burning sensation as my heart rolled in my chest at the realization. Sideswipe and Sunstreaker...they loved me? How could I have not picked up on the signs? How could I have not seen this coming?
But then again, how could anyone have seen this coming?
"I...I" I stuttered, still gasping for breath. I don't know why but words were failing me at the moment, my emotions too complex for me to translate and that made the blush come in stronger.
"You don't have to say anything, we know it's a lot to take in." Sideswipe continued with that fond, adoring smile on his face-plates. It was as if he was staring at the light of his life. Was that supposed to be me? My heart trembled in my chest again, the heat was so high I was sure my skin was the same shade as a fire-truck.
"But we had to tell you," Sunstreaker said seriously, "There have been too many time we've come close to losing you. And while we don't plan on losing you again, we have to stop taking you for granted." His gaze suddenly dropped to the ground, an expression that looked to be like guilt contorted on his face-plates, "We realized this when we saw you after you passed out. How pale you were, how fragile you were, how close you were to slipping away. And we were fragging scared. Scared to pit, that the one thing that has given us hope, given us light, given us a reason to want to end this slagging war so we can remain here living peacefully on this earth with them had almost been taken away from us. We were spark-broken, neither of us could bare the thought of living in a world without you."
"That's why we knew we had to tell you." Sideswipe added.
I looked down at my hands, so many emotions were whirling inside of me, my mind was spinning and all I could think to say was; "W-why me?"
It was so soft that it was almost inaudible, but I knew they had heard every word from the way the twins had suddenly stiffened up.
"What do you mean 'why me'?" Sideswipe asked.
"I just," I could feel it now, the emotions were starting to overwhelm me, "I...I'm such a disaster! You guys put me on this high pedestal and you're always willing to drop anything and everything for me, b-but you shouldn't!" I didn't even feel the tears until they began to slide down my cheeks.
"Charlie..." Sideswipe murmured softly.
"No, it's true," I insisted, rubbing my eyes with a shaky breath, "I-I messed up so much-so many times! I went to Washington even though y-you told me to stay here! I tried to f-fight and be strong but I ended up being a coward and getting hurt. I-I worried you for so long over that, m-making you feel guilty for something you shouldn't have to! Because of my recklessness I got myself infected with dark energon, and now I have this demon stuck in my head! I keep secrets from you! I-I tried to keep my family safe and out of everything, b-but that ended up backfiring colossally in my face! And I didn't even get to say goodbye to my dad," I rasped, my voice giving out at the thought of my father. My legs felt numb and heavy, and I had collapsed to my knees against the cool berth, my face buried into my hands as I cried at the thought of my father. I shook my head vehemently, "I'm...I'm not fine! I know I always say I am to keep you and everyone else from worrying and pretend to be strong, but I'm really not fine. All of this feels like it's slowly tearing me apart and I just- I'm so messed up. I'm a failure! H-how could I ever be seen as the light of your lives? When it seems like all I ever do is bring pain and despair!"
I didn't want to cry, it wasn't what I had planned on doing, but now that I've started, I couldn't really stop. All of the emotions I had been feeling festering deep down inside me these past few months had finally risen up and boiled over, leaving me a sobbing mess on the ground. I was so distracted by my own tantrum that I didn't realize someone was beside me until a hand pressed gently against my back. I tensed.
"C'mon Charlie," Sideswipe murmured softly, "You know we don't see you like that."
"You should." I deadpanned, feeling suddenly drained from the outburst. I felt his hands wrap around my own, and gently pull them away from my eyes. Both of the twins were in their alte modes, each of them sitting on either side of me. Sideswipe tugged gently, and that was all it took for me to lean into his warm, familiar embrace. My nostrils took in his faint oil scent and I felt my racing heart settle a little in my chest.
"I could never," Sideswipe continued, placing a soft kiss on my forehead, and I felt myself blush again. "Charlie, I don't think you understand just how greatly you've impacted Sunny and I's life. You are the reason we've found each other, you lead us back to each other not once, but twice. You give us so much hope, and love and life, and you are strong. How else could you put up with all of the hell you've been through if it wasn't for your strength? I know you're dealing with a lot of pain and tragedy right now Charlie, but pain doesn't make you weak. If anything, it makes you stronger. You've been through so much, so much that you didn't deserve to go through, but you're still here, you're still breathing. You're still willing to go through all that pain and suffering again if it meant keeping anyone you loved safe, and that's something that I admire you a lot for Charlie; your resilience. You keep on trudging through no matter what life has thrown at you."
My heart fluttered in my chest, especially when Sunstreaker had joined in on the embrace from the other side. "Because you have hope for a better future," Sunstreaker's breath was warm against my ear, which didn't do much to help my already over-heating face, "And that is why we are in love you."
I couldn't believe the words I was hearing. I had never thought of all my past struggles and failures in that kind of perspective, maybe I would've called Sideswipe out on trying to be too optimistic, but Sunstreaker seemed to believe him just as strongly. So I had no choice to accept their point of view on things.
There was a long moment of nothing but silence, but this wasn't like the silence from earlier. This was a comfortable silence, a silence that allowed for good revelations and reflections as you sat in it. The twins hadn't moved from their spots pressed up against me on the edge of their berth, but it wasn't like I had wanted them to. I was still coming to terms with all of this...the twins, they really loved me? Flaws and all?
"You don't have to worry bout saying it back or anything right now," Sideswipe suddenly spoke up, and I looked up at him. His head had been previously been laying between the juncture of my neck and collarbone, but he had sat up just enough so that I could see the bright smile that was on his face, "We know it was a lot to digest, and we're perfectly fine with waiting."
"We're also fine with you choosing."
"Choosing?" I repeated softly, turning to look at Sunstreaker since he had said it.
His gaze seemed to darken with apprehension for a moment, "Well um...to be traditional, since you are a human after all."
I blinked, staring widely at him. This was probably the first time I had ever seen Sunstreaker become so shy and tongue-tied, this whole thing was unthinkable. If I hadn't been sitting here, experiencing everything, I would've thought it was all an elaborate dream.
"What do you mean?" I asked him, genuinely confused. And Sideswipe made an uncomfortable noise from my other side.
Sunstreaker refused to make eye-contact, staring at the ground with a heated gaze. "Isn't it customary for humans to have one partner?"
I raised my eyebrow, but then it dawned in on me.
"We don't want to overwhelm you, we know all this is new to you," Sideswipe continued quickly, "But for spark splits like us, since we share the same halves of a spark, it is naturally that our sparks would be attracted to the same person. Because well, it is the same spark, just in two different frames."
I took all of this new information in, before nodding again. It made sense, Sideswipe and Sunstreaker were already so close with the sibling bond, and shared so many things between them. I guess it would make sense for them to share the same partner.
"But if you think it's too strange, that's understandable." Sideswipe said, albeit a bit reluctantly.
"No," I shook my head firmly, startling the both of them it seemed, from the way they both looked at me. I had a serious expression on my face, to show them just how sincere I was being with them, "Are you kidding me? After all it took for me to bring you two together? I would never let myself get in between you, I would never ever forgive myself."
They seemed stunned into silence, but it didn't last laugh, because Sideswipe had let out an airy chuckle. "Well, I guess that solves that."
"I'm serious Sides," I told him, crossing my hands against my chest defiantly, "You know how important your bond with your brother is! Not only to you, but to me-"
"I know," He said, his smile so wide that I wondered if it hurt, but I pushed the thought away. He looked so happy, perhaps the happiest I had ever seen him before, as he nuzzled his head back into my collarbone, "Ah, still putting others before yourself. That's why we love you, Schlemiel."
I blushed again, and I wasn't sure if it was because of the sudden skinship of the infamous nickname.
"Your heart is beating such a fast rate." Sunstreaker murmured, a lazy smirk curled onto his lips, "Should we alert Ratchet?"
"S-Shut up!" I stammered. Both of the twins snickered at that, and then it was back to the comfortable silence. Somehow, we ended up laying down, staring up at the dull ceiling as the silence encompassed us. I never knew what the in-explainable feeling stirring in my chest had been for a long time, but now that Sideswipe mentioned the bonds, I guess it made more sense. I sure did feel a special kind of connection to the twins that I had never felt with anyone else in my life before. I closed my eyes, exhaling softly.
"I...love you both too." I said softly, but I knew they heard me.
And for the first time in a long time, I felt more than just peaceful. I felt like a small part of me was missing and I didn't even realize it had been gone, until it had been found, and it had been found in the twins. For the first time, I felt complete.
And there you have it; the long and completely overdue confession! I hoped you guys liked it, because I actually struggled with how I was gonna write this scene out for a while. I am not the best when it comes to the fluffy, mushy-gushy stuff, but I try :) Anyways, we are so much closer for the big event to take off. I was going to include another part, but I decided y'all should have some peace before the storm. Besides, they just confessed, I'll give them a break for now.
As always, thank you so very much for reading! I apologize a trillion times for the long wait, and please excuse any spelling mistakes because it is almost 3 in the morning when I posted this! Until next time :)
