Hey, guys. I'm so so sorry for the delay. I really tried to update sooner but life went totally nuts. I hope you're still sticking with this story. And I hope that this chapter answer some of your questions, and that you'll like it.
And I have to apologize for the mistakes I've made in the previous chapter.
And as always you're welcome to tell me what you think.
Enjoy,
T73.
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Maura tossed and turned so she'd lie more comfortably. Her skin was sweaty and her ribs hurt. The stifling air in the room made it hard to breathe. She felt for the nightstand in the dark pressed the switch - and nothing happened.
Damn it, she thought to herself and sighed. She hated it to wake up in the dark, and usually provided a source of light. Her eyes got slowly used to the dark. Blinking, she turned her head to left side of the bed only to find it empty. Apparently her girlfriend had decided to spend the night with either family or friends.
She tried to get out of the bed and paused as a seating pain shot into her belly. She placed her hand on her belly like she could prevent the pain from spreading. Something warm and sticky moistened her shirt. Carefully she pulled the Hem of the shirt up and recognized it in spite of darkness. She shivered and became sick. A deep cut ran from below of her left breast down the abdomen. The blood moistened her shirt and dripped onto the white sheet. Maura jumped up, covered the wound and pressed the shirt on it to stop the bleeding. She had to call 911 immediately.
Where the heck is my phone? How could this happen?
During her search, she bumped into a bookshelf and books felt to the ground. Then she heard an whimper. She paused and held her breath. Her pulse was already racing. Calm. I have to stay calm.
Slowly she walked down the stairs and listened again, tilting her head. Her searching glance wandered over the small table behind the back of her couch, over the living room table and the shelves. The whimpering grew louder, a high cry, as of a wounded animal. Or was it a trick? Maura moved slowly towards the kitchen, her still wandering around. Now she also perceived an all too familiar smell. The closer she came to the kitchen, the heavier became the smell. The smell of blood. It stung her nose and lungs. Slightly bent she walked through the door. Though warned by the smell, she was terrified. A wall of the moonlit kitchen was sprinkled with blood, and a blood pool was on the hardwood floor. Everywhere was blood on the work surface, and it dripped down the kitchen utensils. Taylor O'Keefe was standing at the end of the room. A tall, slender figure leaning over a whining kneeling woman. Maura shivered once more.
How the heck did he get into my house?
O'Keefe tore the woman's head back by the hair and held a knife to her throat. Maura suppressed another gasp. He hadn't noticed her yet, and she pressed herself against the wall. Calm! You have to stay calm, shetold herself like a mantra. She had prepared herself for this moment, had feared and dreamt of it for months. Now was not the time to panic and to lose nerves.
Suddenly she realized that something gave her away. When she looked up, the woman reached out for her pleadingly. But Maura looked past her, into the eyes of Taylor O'Keefe. He smiled. And in one smooth motion he cut the woman's throat.
"No!"
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I have noticed that Maura's having another hard night because she was tossing and turning, but I didn't have the heart to wake her, she desperately needed some good night sleep, or that's what I was hoping she'd get. But as soon as she woke with that heart-wrenching scream, I was up immediately and had my arms around her to give her the feeling of being safe. I have to admit it, this small woman is stronger than I thought. Why I'm saying this? Because I'm struggling to keep her my arms. She's fighting me hard, and it breaks my heart but I won't let her go until she comes out of this awful dream she's having right now. And later she has enough time to continue hating me. I know how she's feeling right now, like she's losing an neverending battle. Like Taylor O'Keefe won't let her go for the rest of her life. He got into her head, and she's hating herself for that, she's blaming herself for it. I know it because I've been at the same dark lonely place she's right now, and I admit it, in those dark hours I would have been beyond grateful when someone would've been with me when I had those nightmares myself. Of course, after Maura and I became friends, she was the one who calmed me down in the middle of the night. When I woke up screaming. And now I'm going to do the same for her, and I will continue doing this even though we ... won't work out. When I realized that I have deeper feelings for Maura, that I'm love with this smart little woman, I tried to walk away from her. I tried to push those feelings into a small box and lock them away. I tried to keep our relationship professional, and almost quit our friendship. But you know Maura, she doesn't give up so easily. Sometimes she's even worse than a dog with his bone. She's stubborn and uses to get to the bottom of things. So she kept pushing and pushing me until I yelled at her to get lost.
Honestly, I am not proud of it, but I am not a person who talks easily about feeling, I never was. My outburst back then to snarled our relationship even more and we didn't talk to each other for more than two weeks. But I couldn't keep it up that way and tried to ask everyone how Maura was doing, but no one really answered. Even my mother kept her mouth shut. She said to me, Jane, if you like to know how Maura's doing, get into your car, drive to her house and ask her yourself.
That really mystified me. But I did as I was told and drive straight to Maura's house. It was quite late and I was sure that she was already in bed, reading one of her crazy books or medical magazines. Normally, I would have let myself in with my key, but that night it felt just wrong, so I rang the doorbell with sweaty hands. I still remember how my heart was pounding in my chest and that I stopped breathing as Maura opened the front door. She was wearing one of her fancy silky pajamas but I can tell you that I've never seen a woman who looked as stunning as Maura in something like that. She was confused why I used the bell instead of my keys, but I stopped her upcoming question by pressing my lips on hers. I haven't said a word nor had I blamed on kissing her right on the threshold, but I couldn't hold my feelings at bay anymore. Firstly, Maura went ridge in my arms but in the next moment she kissed me back was the best night in my life. And since that night, I haven't left her side anymore.
And now here we are. Maura trying to push me out of her life but I won't go anywhere. That's what I told her the day we'd figured out what we are since that night. I told her that I'll be at her side, no matter what, and I stay true to my word. For better or worse, right?
I can feel that her body starts shaking and I know that she's awake now. I close my eyes when she's clinging to my shirt. "He won't come for you anymore, Maura. You're safe now." I whisper into her hair and her crying becomes heavier.
Over eight months have passed since Taylor O'Keefe lured into a trap in an abandoned slaughterhouse in Back Bay. Before that, we'd been pursuing him for almost a year, studying hid MO, and his behavior, and Maura was the one who performed the autopsies of his victims that he'd left behind, deciphering the bizzare ambiguities he was playing with us. On one August day, he had lured her to said slaughterhouse and made her watch. He didn't want to kill her, Maura just had to watch.
Since then, Maura wasn't the same anymore. I can understand it, though. I thought that Hoyt was a monster, a sadistic monster. He played his mind games with me, and I'm sure he'd have take his time with Maura in that damn prison hospital if I wouldn't have got my shit together. But he never had the intention to keep me alive for a week to watch him torturing his victims before killing them. Those are facts Korsak, Frankie, Nina, Kent and I figured out but none of us know what actually happened in said slaughterhouse. No one but Maura and O'Keefe. I don't know why it took us so long to find Maura. Well to be fair, O'Keefe is a very cagey person. Everytime we thought we'd be close to Maura, he set us on a wrong track. I'll be honest, after Maura being missing for more than forty-eight hours, I was at the point when I cotton to thought that the only way I'd get Maura back was in a body bag. I know it sounds awful but somehow you reach the point when those thoughts start to cross your mind and it makes you feel useless and desperate. But that doesn't mean that you give up because you want to get your loved one back home, no matter what.
The day Cavanaugh stopped at my desk I could see that whatever he was about to say, it wasn't good. O'Keefe's lawyer had talked to the DA and offered information about victims the law enforcement haven't know of til then. O'Keefe was willing to tell us where said bodies have been buried under the condition that Maura would interview him. I can tell you, if Frankie and Korsak wouldn't have been in the bullpen that moment I'd have been arrested for slaughtering my Lieutenant. They had to use all of their strength to hold me back. Somehow, Cavanaugh understood, yet he had to punish me for going after him. He left the choice to me: either suspension or taking a leave.
I took the leave, even though I've never been so close to handing in my gun and badge. Don't get me wrong, I love my job, but I love Maura and my family more!
I furrow my brows when hazel eyes meet mine and tuck a strand of hair behind Maura's ear. My heart breaks when I look down into a broken soul.
Maura's tracing my jaw with her fingers and I have to suppress the urge to smile or to clench my jaw. "I hope you know that I love you," she whispers hoarsely.
I sigh and nod my head. "Yes, I know. And I love you."
"And in the same time I also hate you."
I have to swallow hard and ignore my clenching heart because those words are true, I can see it and I can understand her hate for me. I hate myself for needing so much time before finding her. I lay still as she suddenly straddles my lap and my heart begins to race. What the hell is happening right now? First won't even look at me for days and now we're having ... doing what? I want to protest but my vocal cords won't obey as she pulls her shirt over her head, my brain won't obey either. I let my eyes roam over her absolute perfect torso and place my hands on her hips, but then worries start to raise within me when I feel her body becoming ridge. "Maura, did I ... Did I hurt you?"
She doesn't say a word and shakes her head.
I know I'm gonna hate myself but I have to say it so she knows that I'm not pushing her. "We don't have to, Maura." Okay, my body says otherwise but hey I can take care of myself in the shower. If she's not ready that's more than fine.
She stares down at me and leans down. "Jane, would you please take the pain away from me for tonight?" She whispers against and I have to swallow hard again.
I know that I'll regret this in the morning but how can I turn her plea down? And I have needs too. I know it sounds selfish, but pretending like everything's back to normal again for one night won't hurt, right?
I nod and moan when she slips her hands under my shirt and drags her nails over my abdomen, finally kissing me.
Damn it, I'm so screwed!
