AN: We've reached the 100 chapters mark! Thank you to everyone who stuck with this story for so long. Let's celebrate by honoring the guy who really deserves it!
The day after the opening ceremony, when all the guests had left the station and only the staff and friends remained, Jo called everyone to the cafeteria to discuss business. As the first point on the day's agenda she announced the full list of instructors. For now there were eleven big branches, each led by a senior Instructor: Garrus led the Battle branch, Jo took over the Leadership, Tali - Engineering, Joker - Piloting, Jack - Biotics, an asari matriarch Alita - Diplomacy, a salarian STG member Felis Naohe - the Intelligence (even though Matt was technically the leader, he had more important things to do and gave the teaching up to someone else), a human xeno-linguist Amanda Theri - the Xenophilia, a turian general Austas Lexos - Crisis Management, and a young asari Commando Gilla O'Ran - Infiltration.
The last branch, Survival, remained without a leading Instructor for now, but Jo promised to have that sorted out within a week. Each branch was subdivided in up to thirty different courses, each under their own instructor. All in all there were nearly a hundred instructors now, invited from all races based on their merit. Jo said that as members of the ICA they would all get some sort of an N rank in the next few months, after she had a chance to observe them personally. Not everyone had to be N7 to be an instructor: even an N5 would do, as long as they knew how to reach their students.
Second point on the agenda was the very first recruit of the newly opened Intergalactic Cooperation Academy: Recruit Vega. When the young man, who'd been sitting quietly in the corner until then, heard his name, he blanched.
"Recruit Vega," Jo addressed him officially. "Today at 1pm you will take an exam, which will determine your N rank. You do not need to prepare for anything specific. The exam is today so that you don't have too much time to obsess and get nervous. Just wear your Alliance uniform and be at the Command Examination Chamber on time. All you have to bring is your brain."
Vega nodded sharply, clearly battling rising panic, but he had trusted Jo so far and now he visibly forced himself to believe that she wasn't shitting him when she said he didn't need preparation time for this.
"Yes, Commander," he nodded. The Command Examination Chamber was actually a part of Joker's Flight Simulator. It consisted of a chamber that looked like a generic starship CIC with work stations for a pilot and several navigators, a bridge for the CO and chairs for advisors. It had no ceiling and was surrounded by rows of seats for the audience. During an exam lights above the audience went out and the walls projected simulated open space, creating an illusion that the team inside the chamber was on board a ship. Any member of the team could be taking an exam: the pilot, the CO, any of the advisors or technicians - even all of them at once. A big galaxy map in the middle of the CIC could be used for strategic planning and for whatever else the team might need.
At 1pm all the instructors gathered in the audience. Vega, wearing his dress blues, stood on the bridge, hands locked behind his back. Joker suspected it was to hide shaking hands. Jo gave him the rest of the team: Cortez was his pilot, Karin - his doctor, Adams the leading technician.
The first half of the exam was pure simulation. Vega could sit, close his eyes and play a role playing game with Dex. The mission was to find a way to settle a conflict between a quarian squad and a turian security team on a former quarian colony where the turians had now settled. The quarians wanted the colony back. Dex was simulating conversations and events based on each race's known behaviour and on their desires according to the mission background, which only Dex and Jo knew at the moment.
As always the easiest choice was to kill everybody. Toughest job was to make everybody happy. Only if Vega asked the right questions would he find out that the quarians actually needed something from the catacombs underneath the turian colony and didn't want the turians to know what it was. The thing was a Prothean device they'd found centuries ago, hadn't reported the find to the council and tried to study it, but hadn't had the necessary equipment at a time. The lab had been abandoned during the geth war.
Turians, on the other hand, couldn't open the catacombs for the quarians without blowing a hole in their main power generator's side, because it was sitting right on top of the only entrance to the catacombs. The conflict was about to escalate, and it was Vega's mission to find a way through this.
Jo bit her knuckles with pride when he broke the two opposing teams apart and talked to each in private, finding out all the mission parameters confidentially. It was his choice to either let the quarians have the artefact or to report them to the Council right away. He told them that he's only help them if they reported it voluntarily. They agreed reluctantly, but they knew it was the right thing to do.
The turians couldn't afford to turn off the generator for the time needed to remove it, open the catacombs, retrieve the artefact and put it back together. In the end Vega offered his space ship's power core to feed the colony while the combined tech forces of turians, quarians and his own team dissembled their generator and moved it. Then he left the quarian team on the surface in turian custody, so that nothing would accidentally go wrong with the artefact, and took his own team down. The artefact was retrieved, the generator reassembled, turians didn't lose anything, quarians had the artefact, which Vega insisted on escorting to the new Citadel. Jo admitted to herself that even she couldn't have done a better job.
Before the second part of the exam Jo took Joker aside and said to him:
"I need you to not get jealous over what you're about to see."
"Jealous?" He frowned. "What are you going to do?"
"I'm going to hit Vega where it hurts most, and he has to get through it. That's why I put Cortez in the pilot seat and not you. Can't have you both distracted."
"Are you doubting my professionalism?"
"In this case – maybe a little," she grinned. "I also don't want a fight to break out between you two during the test. Just lean back and watch with the rest of the audience."
"I'm sceptical, but also curious."
"Don't worry, I'm not going to have sex with him during the test," she winked, leaving the CEC.
"Haha."
The exam started without Jo in the audience. The mission objective was: kill a Reaper out in the open space. Vega had his own frigate and two smaller vessels under his command. Those were simulated and did whatever he ordered. The crew assembled on the bridge and the test began. Vega assumed command, scoped out the situation and ordered all three ships to flank the Reaper, hoping for the element of surprise. While the manoeuvre was still being executed, the door to the chamber slid open and Jo walked onto the bridge. Some of the crew looked around to check out the newcomer and most of the jaws hit the chests. Especially Vega's.
Jo wore a catsuit. It was golden and didn't seem to consist of more than paint on her skin. A few decorative black belts hugged her waist, hips and thighs, accentuating the curves. Her heels were higher than she'd ever worn in public before, her hair fell down her back and shoulders in soft curls. She walked in slowly, "like a cat", as Joker had put it years ago, and tilted her hips, stopping in front of Vega.
"XO Moreau, reporting for duty, Commander," she said to him in a low, slowly rolling voice.
The audience was gaping as well as Vega, at least the human part of it. Joker sat next to Zaeed, who'd stayed after last night just to see this.
"Why are you gaping?" He asked Joker. "Doesn't she wear that for you when you're alone together?"
Joker shut his mouth, swallowed and whispered:
"When we're alone together, she usually wears nothing at all."
Now it was Zaeed's turn to swallow.
Vega was still staring at her. Jo turned around slowly, giving him full sight of her butt and walked towards Cortez's pilot's seat. She leaned down to have a look at the screens and a little moan escaped several mouths. Her shapely ass stole the show entirely.
"Commander," she said, still offering Vega her golden rear. "I believe the Reaper has noticed us and is on the intercept trajectory."
There were eight more seconds of complete silence from him. For that matter, from everybody, even Cortez. Then Vega coughed and said to the obediently waiting pilot:
"Evasive manoeuvres?" It sounded more like a question.
A deadly dance with the Reaper began, and as the time passed, Jo did everything in her power to distract Vega. Poor guy didn't know what to do with himself and right beneath her costume Jo was terribly sorry for him. She was being unfair. He had been lusting for her even longer than he was in love with her, and she'd hit him where it hurt most. But as a ship's captain he had to learn the lesson. A terrible lesson, if needed.
They'd lost the element of surprise, the Reaper was on to them. They had to evade it and find a way to hit it hard, and Vega was tasked to capacity consulting his technicians about the ship's state, about their gun, about the jamming signal the Reaper was emitting, which cut the communication with the other two ships for a while. Within minutes one of the escort ships was destroyed by the Reaper.
All the while Jo slowly walked around the bridge, stretched herself, leaned against chairs and tables, constantly dizzying Vega with the sight of her curvaceous butt, long legs and bouncy breasts.
The test took over an hour, and Vega was sweating bricks when they were done. The Reaper was destroyed, but his ship had been damaged severely, and they'd lost the second escort ship. Everybody was tired and nerve-wrecked, even the audience.
But eventually the simulation ended and their ship, even if damaged, was still strong enough to reach a safe dock, which made Vega – technically – the winner. Dex declared the end of the simulation and the lights went on above the audience.
"Well, Recruit," Jo said and slipped out of her role of a slut. "Please wait until the staff discusses your performance."
The Senior Instructors, led by Jo herself, left the room for a while. They'd sat down in a small conference room across the corridor and the tension finally broke.
"What the fuck are you wearing?!" Jack asked Jo with barely concealed laughter.
"That's what I'd like to know!" Joker echoed her.
"Guys, the paint on my skin isn't our concern right now," she dismissed the general amusement, even though she was half-grinning herself. "What do we think about Vega?"
"Jo, I pity the poor guy," Garrus said. "You've set him up for failure."
"And yet, the Reaper is dead," Jo said. "I did all I could to get him to melt down, go gooey, lose it somehow, but even though he was distracted beyond belief, his team is mostly alive and the Reaper is dead."
"You're right. All things considering, he did better than some would have."
When they returned to the CEC after a thorough but short discussion, the rest of the test crew were still on their positions in the simulation room. Vega sat in the co-pilot's seat, bent over, nursing his head between his lower arms.
"Recruit Vega," Jo said, taking her place among the other instructors. "How do you feel?"
Vega raised his head, took a deep breath and stood up straight. He made a non-committal noise instead of answering the question, but he looked directly at Jo, not hiding or averting his eyes. The mirage was over, she'd dropped her seductive ways and became his superior again, professional despite the golden catsuit she was still wearing. He knew his fate was in her hands, and he knew that the time had come to hear her opinion on everything he'd done during his training. He stood tall, even though there was a storm going on inside him. Jo could make out guilt, shame and a slight glimmer of tears. She'd really done a number on him.
"How do you think you did?" She asked.
"I honestly don't know, Commander. The Reaper is dead, but I've lost two ships and…" He broke off.
"And you let your personal feelings cloud your judgement," she finished for him. "During your training under me I've observed one severe character flaw in you, which you refused to acknowledge and address. You're a flirtatious man, Recruit, and one of these days it's going to cost you your position, when one of the ladies under your command reports you for misconduct or even sexual harassment. Today I deliberately set you up for failure. You saw a drool-worthy piece of ass and your brain happily said goodbye. Is that not so?"
Vega only nodded shakily.
"Now," Jo's hand found Joker's and their fingers intertwined. "I'm not preaching something I myself go against. I stand by the fact that I'm married to my pilot. In my opinion there is one exception to the fraternisation rule: you can pursue someone under your command, but only if you're absolutely sure that this person is your soul mate, that you'll be with them for the rest of your life and are absolutely prepared to throw away your career for them. And then there is a second rule, which has absolutely no exceptions of any kind: in your free time you can do what you want, but when you work, you are professional, even with your lover."
Vega was visibly shaking by the end of that speech.
"Yes, Commander," he whispered through a tight knot in his throat.
"How do you think you could have improved your performance?"
"I would try to be less… distracted. React quicker. Try to use the element of surprise, remember that the Reapers block communications, try to save the other ships."
"That's the thing about N7 missions, Recruit. You never get a second chance."
She saw the distress in his eyes, the knowledge that he'd failed. The tremor in his hands and a tear glistening in his eye told her just how much it had meant to him. "Anyway, Here are the facts: you were given command of the ship and every crew member answered to you. Even I did. I introduced myself as your XO and I was there all the time, ready to assist you in any way I could. Considering my experience, I could have helped you, had you only decided to use my professional expertise. You let your personal feelings get in line of your professionalism and chose to see me as a sexual object instead of a skilled advisor. It was your choice.
"It was also your choice to let me affect you. As I was under your command, you could have ordered me to leave the bridge if you felt I was too distracting for you to be on top of your abilities. You could have ordered me to change clothes, or to stop behaving as atrociously as I did. You were the CO and it was entirely and completely in your power. Perhaps you think I overdid it grossly, but I assure you, I had three skanks just like that on the Normandy over the years. In fact, this costume is a knock-off of what one of them used to wear. As a man in a high position you will encounter people who will try to manipulate you. It cost you thirty five lives and two vessels. The Mission Command may forgive you because in the end the Reaper was killed, but the families of those thirty five people may never forgive you." Jo could see his lip tremble. She wasn't going harder on him than she would go on every other ICA recruit. They were meant to take abuse by definition. She had just tried to teach him a lesson and he stepped right into her trap.
"Think about that. But today is not about the lives you've lost. When you're the CO, you have all the authority and all the responsibility. You came here to take this test because you needed to find out for yourself if you were worthy of command or not. That's why I asked: how do you feel?"
"To be honest, Commander, I feel pretty shitty."
"I know," she said earnestly, sympathetically. "But I do believe that you've learned the lesson, Recruit, and that I managed to show you exactly what happens when you can't draw the line between private emotions and professionalism. We all believe that you've assessed the situation for yourself and saw all the mistakes you've made. So here is my review, summing up all your training. You have completed your Battle and Survival specialisations under my personal guidance and excelled in both. You have gained first hand experience and excelled in Xenophilia while serving on the Normandy and interacting with different species on daily basis with great success. You have especially excelled in Armed Infiltration during all the missions we undertook together. You successfully brushed courses from Intelligence and Engineering during those missions as well, enough to earn you extra points for diversity and flexibility. Between missions you took on different jobs to globally help with the war, which gives you an especially high ranking in Crisis Management. You have enough piloting skills to check that box, too. Finally, my close observations showed me that you more than excelled in Diplomacy, negotiating with different military branches and civilians in the times during and after the war."
She took a breath and smiled even wider:
"As for my own core area, Leadership, I will say that you do inspire followers in just the right way. You never once complained about your training, but only asked for advice on how to complete it in the best way possible. You took over your own education when I wasn't there and didn't focus on just one point, but learned everything you possibly could, broadening your own horizon. You deal well with hard soldiers and frightened children. You can use your body as a weapon, but also your brain and knowledge. You have high moral standards and yet you don't hesitate to do whatever it takes to complete a mission. The most important thing I'm looking for in a recruit - knowing what the right thing to do is - you have in abundance. You trust your family and you are completely loyal, but you think for yourself, making your own decisions and choices. You are not afraid to question your superiors and don't hesitate to support and encourage your subordinates. You are not afraid of responsibility and yet you don't crave power. All in all, from the day I've met you, you went above and beyond simple training. We all believe, and I'm proud to say that I've always been the first to believe – that you are an extraordinary officer who is smart enough to learn from his own mistakes. I believe in you. I always believed in you."
She got up from her seat and entered the simulation room.
"Recruit Vega," she pulled herself up to stand as tall as she could in her heels, still barely reaching his chin with the top of her head. "I am officially tasked by the Admiral of the Homefront Fleet to inform you that you have been promoted to the rank of Staff Commander and to give you your well-earned stars in front of eighty six witnesses." She produced a dark blue box, opened it and retrieved the official Alliance pins for his collar, shaped like golden stars. He stood still, shell-shocked and stupefied while she pinned them on him.
"Furthermore, Recruit Vega, it is my utmost pleasure to inform you that you have passed the Command and the Xeno-relations test and are hereby granted the rank of a Full N7 Agent." She pulled a badge from an almost invisible pocket. Vega gaped at her. One tear finally ran down his scarred cheek. Jo reached up and pinned the badge to the right side of his chest. "Congratulations, N7 Staff Commander James Vega, the first graduate of the reopened IC Academy."
The audience cheered and applauded, and Vega could only gasp for a few moments until his knees finally gave in and he flopped down into the co-pilot's seat.
"Steady, steady there," Jo lightly patted him on the shoulder. "You made it, I always knew you would."
"You did?" He shuddered through openly flowing tears, while people came closer to him to shake his hand and to congratulate.
"Yes, Vega, I did."
Jo stepped back to let other people praise him, and she fell back to Joker's side. His arm crept around her waist, grabbing her ass while nobody saw.
"You like my outfit?" She asked him from the corner of her mouth. He turned and rubbed his hard-on against her thigh.
"Question answered?"
"Mhm," she hummed. Then she detached herself from her husband and clapped her hands until everyone fell silent and paid attention once more. "Vega, you have a choice right now. The Admiral has a job for you. You can return to active duty in the Alliance and take over the command of your own squadron of fighters stationed in the Sol system. Or you can transfer to the Outreach Fleet or even the Ascension Fleet. You can pick your assignments now, if you want to. However, you can choose to stay here. It just so happens that I also have a job for you. The Senior Instructor of the Survival Branch. That position had your name on it from the start and I haven't looked for anyone else suited for it, hoping that you'd accept."
One more time Vega's knees gave in and he fell into the seat behind him.
"Holy motherfucking hell," he exhaled, and everyone laughed.
"I'll just take that as a yes, then," Jo laughed along with everyone else and offered him her hand for a shake: "Welcome to the staff."
He stood to shake her hand, but instead of releasing it he squeezed it harshly:
"You really are a bitch, aren't you?" For the first time since he'd met her Vega dared to speak his mind completely freely. "You string me along all this time, not telling me squat about my progress, and then you dump it all on me in one go?"
"Why, thank you for finally noticing," Jo gripped his hand harshly in return, showing him that he still wasn't stronger than her. "I am a bitch, and I'm glad you're finally over your hero-worship."
"You can open the champagne now, Staff Commander," Matt patted Vega's shoulder. "The brass is done promoting your for your achievements during the war. From now on you'll have to work for them again."
"Vega, there's a shipment of the best champagne on this planet waiting for you in the cafeteria. Want to celebrate?" Jo offered.
After the opening ceremony last night this seemed like a very small and intimate celebration, even though over ninety people were in attendance. Those who had known each other from the Normandy were getting to know the new additions better, discussing the structure of their branches and courses, speculating on the first batch of recruits about to arrive. Steve Cortez found Joker when he separated from the crowd, looking for a lonely corner to get a break from all the people.
"Thanks," he said to Joker.
"For what?"
"The invitation," Steve shrugged humbly.
"Huh?" Joker was genuinely confused. Steve examined him closely and raised an eyebrow:
"You don't even know? This morning I got an invitation to join the Academy as a Recruit. Piloting branch. I thought it was your recommendation that got me there."
"There were no recommendations from any staff members," Joker shook his head, sipping his drink. "Jo picked the entire first batch on her own. That's four hundred fifty people, and nobody but her knows the names of them all so far. Even I don't. If you got the invite, then she deemed you worthy. Congrats!" He clinked his beer bottle against Cortez's brandy glass.
"Thanks," the other man nodded. "Do you think there is still much you can teach me?"
"We'll just have to see, won't we?"
When everyone was a little tipsy and in a great mood, Jo demanded everyone's attention once more.
"We are a family now and this station is our home," she said from the chair where she climbed to be seen by everyone. "I think we should start a few new traditions. And the first one should begin with our own Mr. Vega. To honour him as the very first graduate of my academy, I want his name to start off a list of all the recruits who will graduate here. Their names shall be carved into the walls of this academy and forever become a part of this place. I propose that we start this list at my office and move on down the corridors."
"And when we run out of walls?" Someone chuckled.
"Then we'll build a new wing," Jo deadpanned. "Come on, let's do it right now."
She hopped off the chair and led the excited crowd towards the office she'd picked for herself. That room was still empty, but next to the door stood a toolbox with a torch and a template with Vega's name. It was a simple font, not too big, reminding Joker of the memorial wall on board the Normandy. Nothing was added to the name - not the N7 rank, not 'Instructor', nothing. Those things didn't matter, he realised. Not all recruits will be N7s, but all of them would be a part of this family.
Jo climbed on top of a crate someone dragged over, and picked up the tools.
"You're going to do that yourself?" Vega asked, touched by her gesture. She looked down at him and pointed at the badge on his chest:
"That is my seal of approval. I put it on you because you deserve it. This Academy, this station, all of you here together - it's all an expression of my dream. You're damn right, I will personally immortalise your name on this wall."
Joker bit his lip when she fastened the template to the wall and turned on the torch. As he watched her work, he couldn't help a tightening in his chest. Gods, he loved that woman beyond any reason.
And so did Vega, if his face was any indication as he watched her put his name into the alloy. Even if he was over his hero worship, he just fell even deeper in love with her. Joker was hardly jealous, but he did pity the guy a little bit. To love someone and have no hope at all was an unimaginably cruel twist of fate.
After Vega's name was burned into the wall and the staff returned to the cafeteria to party, Jo asked Tali to have a talk. Together they walked down the empty corridors, heading nowhere in particular.
"Tali, I can see that you're miserable. You're hurting badly, and I wish you'd tell me why," Jo began. "Maybe I can help."
"No," Tali lowered her head and shook it. "You can only help those who want to be helped. You've tried so many times, but I wasn't ready. I was too scared. And now I'm miserable for it."
"So it's about Garrus, then."
"Yeah. Yeah, it is," Tali admitted after a pause. "It's just... I thought: after the war, after we've won, I can... But it's not that easy. My people need me more than ever. I'm a geth expert and we're still working on a relationship with them and I have a million fires to put out every day. There is so much work and the responsibility is staggering, even though the honour is great." She took a breath, interrupting her own rambling. "And Garrus... To me he's just that, my Garrus, you know?" Jo nodded. "But then he became the first in line for the position of the Primarch, and he'll have to go to Palaven eventually, settle down there forever. How can I abandon my people and go to Palaven with the man I... And the decision to come here and work with you again..."
"Tali," Jo wrapped one arm around the girl's shoulders and tugged her into an embrace. Tali was crying. "You are both political figures. But to make this relationship work one of you will have to give up a lot. You know that Garrus would give up anything for you, right? If only you ask him."
"I could never do that!" Tali exclaimed.
"I know, I just wanted you to remember that. Look," Jo resumed walking, her arm still around Tali's shoulders. "Let's go for the best case scenario here. If you and Garrus get married and have kids, will you be the only turian/quarian couple out there?"
"No. Our races are biologically compatible, so it's been known to happen."
"So there are not only travelling quarians on turian colonies, not only immigrants, but also full citizens, married to turians, right?"
"Yes, I suppose."
"Your people need you. Would all those quarians living on Palaven also need an admiral they can turn to with their troubles specific for quarians?"
Tali didn't answer, but the sound of her breathing stopped. Jo saw that as a win and continued:
"You've given so much to your people, you were dutiful every day of your life, but duty isn't all that there is. You're in love and can't be with your man because of your responsibilities. Do you think you're helping anyone when you're miserable? How long do you think it'll take until you hate the duty that keeps you away from Garrus? When you're unhappy yourself, you can't sympathise with people who ask for your help, and soon enough they'll stop asking. Your duty to them is to be as great an adviser as you can, and therefore it's your duty to be happy and wholesome. In other words, your duty is to your heart. If you live on Palaven, you will still be much more than a housewife. You'll be an ambassador, you'll have people who'll need you, and maybe you'll even encourage some others who have the same problem as you but are afraid to make the big step."
"My duty is to be happy," Tali exhaled slowly. "I've never seen it that way."
"You know that you can't keep living the same way you did before. That's why you decided to come here. Maybe you are finally ready to help yourself, no? Why are you still wearing your helmet?" Jo asked what she really wanted to know.
"Oh. I... Well, I want it to be special when I take it off for good, and I wanted Garrus to be the first to see my face."
"That's romantic," Jo nodded with satisfaction. "You have my full support on that, if you need any help preparing."
"Do you think Garrus really feels the same?"
"I know it. The guy's twisted in knots because he's so in love with you. His main reason for accepting my job offer was the chance to be around you again."
"Really?" There was this pure, childish hope in Tali's voice, despite the tears.
"Yes, really," Jo hugged her friend again. "I can't wait to see you two happy."
"Jo, you're a real romantic at heart," Tali hugged Jo tightly.
"Nobody has ever dared to call me that before," Jo laughed.
"That's why I'm your sister and they aren't."
"True enough." They both were sobbing now. Tali's helmet was an advantage, while Jo returned to the big celebration with reddened eyes.
"Have you been crying?" Joker asked her.
"A little," she leaned her whole body into him and pointed her chin at Tali, who went to talk to Garrus. "I think they're going to be okay."
Joker wrapped his arm around her body and caressed her face lying on his shoulder:
"About time."
Jo smiled, thinking that she wasn't the only secret romantic at heart.
Next morning Joker woke up to his wife's kisses on his chest.
"Mmmmh," he smiled, tugging her closer. And maybe a little lower.
"Jeff," she murmured between kisses.
"Mh?"
"Take me to Tuchanka."
His eyes flew open.
"Didn't see that one coming. Why?"
"I sent out four hundred fifty invitations. I got back four hundred forty nine ecstatic 'Yes, thanks!' and one 'Fuck you'."
"'Fuck you'?" Joker sat up in honest shock. "Seriously?"
Jo showed him her omnitool: an open message on the screen indeed said: "Fuck you."
"Who is that kind of crazy?"
"One Michael Portman."
"Do I know him?"
"No, and neither do I. Never met him. But when I was reading the dossiers, his profile caught my attention. I'm actually not surprised by this reaction. But now I want to go to Tuchanka and get him, even if he fights me on this."
"Are you sure about that? A reluctant recruit could be a weak link to the whole Academy. Why do you want him?"
"Because he's like me," she said with a little sadness. "All the others are great at what they do and they will make wonderful peace makers, but Michael Portman... When I read about him, I got this feeling that he could be more than that. He could be just like me."
"A psychopath?" Joker raised an eyebrow. Jo almost jumped:
"What? What do you mean?"
"Someone like you, as opposed to a simple peace maker, must be someone who has psychopathic tendencies, like you do," he shrugged. Suddenly he was concerned that he'd said something wrong: Jo became paler than usual, maybe even a little green around her nose.
"How do you know I have psychopathic tendencies?"
"You told me once. Remember, after we went to Las Vegas with Vega to get those kids? Afterwards you told me that. And that you couldn't do that job with kids because it was emotionally draining. You also said that you weren't feeling the urge to kill anymore. Is that not so?"
"No, yes, that's true," Jo took a deep breath and looked at him with a concerned frown: "And you never gave me shit about it?"
Joker shrugged:
"I guess you distracted me with the talk about your clone and it slipped my mind."
"And... you're okay with that?"
"Look, Jo," he sat up in bed and wrapped an arm around her neck, tugging her against his shoulder. "To most people out there I'm sure it would be a huge deal. But to me... I've long had a suspicion that I have some violent tendencies myself. I just never had a chance to act on them. I live them out through you."
"Our child is going to be so screwed in the head," she chuckled.
"Our child's going to be the most perfect child in the universe."
A day later the Normandy settled on Tuchanka and Joker took Jo to the desert in a Kodiak. They found a tiny encampment at the crossing of two tomkah roads in the middle of nowhere. The krogan team leader greeted Jo with a growl.
"I'm looking for Michael Portman."
"Who?"
"You call him 'the human'. I know he's a part of your team. Hand him over before I head-butt you and dishonour you in front of your people."
The krogan growled louder. A patrol of three figures came from behind a few tall boulders at that moment. One of them was a human man wearing a battered armour without a helmet. Jo pointed a finger at him:
"Mr. Portman, pack your shit and get on the shuttle."
"Shepard," he snarled in reply. "Was my reply not clear enough? I don't want to have anything to do with you."
"It's Moreau. You're playing hard to get," Jo narrowed her eyes at him. "So I came here myself to haul your ass to where you need to be. You can come on your own two feet or I can whop your ass."
"Make me," Portman came closer and snapped in her face. Joker cringed: the guy was asking for it. Before anyone could even move a finger Jo's arm flew in a perfect falcon punch, laying the guy out flat on the ground. Joker didn't know whether to laugh or hiss in sympathy. She groaned in exaggerated irritation, bent down and grabbed the dizzy guy's chest plate. She moved him to the Kodiak and literally threw him inside.
"So long," she saluted the krogans and banged her fist on the door to the pilot's cabin. Joker obediently fired up the engine and set the autopilot to return to the ship. Then he got up and went to the main room to have a look at their guest.
The guy groaning on the floor and shaking off the dizziness didn't look like anything special. Average height, average build - nowhere near Vega. He had a few scars on his face and his nose had been broken several times but never set properly. His jet-black hair wasn't cut in a military style, even though he'd been a part of the Alliance until very recently. His dark-grey eyes shot lightning bolts of rage at Jo and the scowl on his face seemed permanent. Joker had a flashback to the day he met Jo after her first resurrection. She'd looked a lot like this. Angry at everything and everyone, destructive, full of hate at life itself just because she was forced to live it.
Oh, yeah, he could see why Portman caught her attention. He was a piece of work all right.
The man got up to his feet, rubbed his jaw, measured both Jo and Joker with a murderous glance and sat down in one of the seats.
"I hate you," he declared, closed his eyes and leaned back, blocking them out.
"I know," Jo said calmly, almost gently. "We'll work on that."
"Don't talk to me," Portman snarled, but Joker noticed that he made no move to leave the moving vehicle, even though they weren't moving very fast, or even very high. He could get away if he jumped out. Jo, who had observed the same thing, flashed Joker a winning smile and winked. The job at the Academy was starting to look more and more interesting.
