Trolls and Tribulations

"Don't blast the Slytherins!" urged Harry.

"I'm not going to, only scare them," said Sukie. She sent a bolt at the stands near the Slytherins causing them to yell and stampede away.

Sukie and Harry alighted beside their loved ones. Sukie pulled Jason into a hug and they began snogging. Hermione pulled out her breast and began to suckle Ash. The foal's spotted cheeks bulged.

Dean Thomas came up to ogle Hermione's bulging breast. "I don't look at the shiny green face, I look at the boobs," he said, pointing at Hermione.

"I wish I could return the compliment, but when you've had a horse sized thing in you, no guy is going to seem well endowed," said Hermione. "Viktor didn't."

"I am," said Dean indignantly.

"Well can you prove it?" said Hermione.

Back in the Gryffindor common room, Elsie was washing her foals in a brass tub. "This is doing my head in," she grumbled. "I want to get a decent night's sleep."

"Well this is the rest of your life now," said Hermione sharply. "Being a mother is for life."

Ash played her favourite game with Dash and Jade, Elsie's foals. "Where's Ash?" she whinnied, hiding behind a squashy armchair. She jumped out. "There's Ash!" The tiny foals gave tiny little giggles.

Hermione and Dean went over to a table and pored over a piece of parchment. Dean scribbled on it with a quill.

"Wanna crash at my place?" said Sukie.

To get to Sukie's cave high in the mountains, Harry had to take Hermione on his Firebolt – Ash was strapped to her. Ash put up with the flying well, although she did squeak and whinny a bit. Jason was strapped to Sukie with a harness.

They alighted on a stone mountain ledge. Sukie gripped Jason's shoulders. Jason's ruddy hair was windswept. "Ooh look, your cheeks… so pink!" His cheeks had been stung pink by the wind. The wind never seemed to bother Harry, no matter how high he flew, not even when flying at the Firebolt's top speed of 150 miles per hour. Jason just wasn't a natural at flying.

Sukie kissed the tip of Jason's freckled nose. Hermione dismounted and unstrapped Ash who trotted after them as they traipsed down the tunnel.

Sukie's nest in the cave was a weird hybrid – part nest, part hut made of twigs and clay. A great moonstone hung near the ceiling and bathed everything with a silvery light, shining off the green faces of both girls.

Ash seemed to like it here. She went skipping around the cavern, whinnying.

"Jason can't see in the dark, so I had to get the moon lamp," said Sukie, gazing on Jason with misty eyes. "Isn't that right, darling?"

Jason smiled and kissed her green cheek.

Hermione showed Harry the parchment that Dean had signed. "I have found a way to get us more allies in a world where we need them. Especially if Ron succeeds in bringing Voldemort back."

Jason and Sukie were busy cuddling and snogging, but Ash heard the name and whimpered, covering on the floor and flattening her ears, trying to cover her eyes with her blunt forelegs. Harry patted her on the head.

"I know you've never been attracted to another girl, Harry," Hermione continued.

"I only love you," said Harry. "The one I love most is a girl. You are my true love. The one I can't do without."

Hermione's rubbery green face stretched to form a smile. "Yes, of course. And you've had my heart since you rescued me from the troll Ron locked me in the toilet with. My heart has always ached for you, struggling under more burdens than any other student. I would lay down my life for you, even though Ash needs me. But I also know you, dear Harry. You love me for who I am, not for my boobs. The question remains, what about sex? Dean is attracted to me, but it's purely physical. I got him to sign a contract which means he will be a sexual partner of mine, but it means he must obey me in emergency situations. Poor Dean was thinking with his lust, not his head. So, I have a hold over him. Really, it's for the best. He can't prove he's no muggle-born, so he needs my guidance if Voldemort ever does return."

Harry wondered what to think of all this. If Hermione could get a hold on randy blokes, then she could control them and it would give them a support network. If it was just physical liaisons with no love… well she had had those before and it hadn't made him jealous.

Harry cupped her green face in his hands. "When we became friends… that's the memory that I used to make the first real Patronus I conjured last summer. Remember that? Well the thought I concentrated on was when we became friends."

Hermione grinned and kissed him on the lips.

"Was' tha' mean?" whinnied Ash suddenly.

She was staring up at the wall of the cave. A rude message had been painted there. It said: **** HARMONY SHIPPERS!

"It's a troll," said Hermione sounding worried. A mountain troll must have found this cave.

"There's another troll message," said Harry. "'It says: **** Bronies.' What does that even mean?"

Hermione shook her head. "Trolls are deeply pathetic really."

At that moment there was a dragging sound coming down the tunnel. Jason and Sukie broke apart and she leapt in front of him, stretching out her wings protectively to their fullest extent.

A foul smelling troll lumbered into the cave, dragging a stone club…