Chapter 6: Forts, Fights, and Falling
Killing… killing was real. The characters, the story, the game, the villains, all were fake. But the killing, the act of throwing my knife into another human was… that was real. I could try and moralize myself by saying or thinking things like 'they would have killed my friends and family if I didn't first' and shit like that, but I didn't care. I've never killed before and I wish I didn't have to again.
I was on Stahl's horse, Phoenix, staring off into the forest. Stahl was walking besides me, guiding Phoenix as the shepherds were on our way to Ferox. We had finished saving Donnel's village about an hour ago and he had agreed to go with us. We were in the same boat, moping in our loss of morality. He had not killed anything before, he couldn't bring himself to kill his own pigs. He was walking behind Chrom and Robin next to Lissa. She was trying her hardest to help him. Maybe it was attraction or maybe it was out of the kindness of her heart. I just don't care right now. Ridley was up there as well, staying near Robin and Chrom.
Stahl had been there for me. He wasn't saying anything just walking besides me and making sure I was okay. Which I wasn't. I killed two people today and Donny killed three. While he did agree to join, he didn't think about what was going to happen next. Robin tried to help me, she really did. I told her that I would be fine once we reached to Ferox. I could see the fort and I'm not okay. Stahl tugged on the reigns and the horse trotted on. I took a deep breath in and out. I did that 9 more times, clearing my head and my thoughts.
'This is what I agreed to. I agreed to help them. Why… because I have nowhere else to go? Because I wanted to? Because I am secretly craving to kill and this was the best way to satisfy my craving? Dear Naga I hope it's not the last one. It's not. I did this because… because… Because I wanted an adventure to go on. An adventure to get away from the world. If there is killing involved, it's for a good cause. These people will kill you, and we can't have that happen now can we.' I take a deep breath and sigh it out. 'This won't get any easier. But neither will adult life back on earth. Focus on the positives and use the negatives to better one's self. Don't ignore them like mom. I miss you.' I shake my head and run a hand through my hair. 'Now I'm good.'
I pat Phoenix on the side and pull my leg over the side. Stahl looked up at me. "You doing better Jordan?" He asks
"Yea… it's… it's just…" I start and stop trying to think of the right words.
"I understand that feeling. If we kill and no longer feel pain, we have lost our humanity." He states like he has thought of this before or has comforted people in my shoes before. "The people who have lost that are a part of the group of brigands we have fought."
I nod along thinking about what he was saying. He was right. Absolutely right. I slide of and walk next to him. He's not that average when you think about it. I look over to see him smiling at me. He patted me on the back and moved around me to get on Phoenix.
"You've done this before, haven't you?" I ask full well knowing that he probably had.
"Once or twice." He said sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck. "I've also thought about it a lot. Like if killing these people who have had or have families was right? They either signed up for it by becoming soldiers or knew there was risk when they decided to rape, steal, and kill with the brigands. They know they could die and I know I can as a shepherd."
"But that doesn't you or I have to like it." I say adding on to what he said.
"Exactly!" he exclaims. I smile and look forward towards the fort, looking out at the people I'm starting to call friends and family.
"We don't like that we kill, but we kill to protect those who would have been killed if we hadn't stopped the enemy." I say finding my morality back. "Thanks Stahl."
"You're welcome, if you ever need to talk my room, well our room, is always open." He said with a laugh.
"I think we might get a bigger room soon." I say pointing at Donnel, who was looking a lot better. Thanking Lissa profusely while she blushed a little but was her happy self.
"We have a room big enough for four any way. And we could use one more roommate." He said thoughtfully.
"Yea we… wait one more? I thought it was just you and me?" I ask. Did I really miss someone else in our room?
"Yea, Kellam is bunking with us normally as well but I didn't see him last night, or did I…" he trailed off. I had totally forgotten about Kellam. I didn't even see him in the battle or in the barracks. It must be that special gift of his. Whatever. Robin had called us forward once we were about 500 yards away. Ridley saw that I was better and ran over to me jumping and placing her paws on my legs. Tail wagging happily and she was just happy. I smile and rub her in between the ears.
"I'm better girl. I'm better" I whisper into her ear. She licks my face. I pushed her down laughing. We walk over to Chrom and Robin who were discussing strategy.
"If they don't believe us we have to come up with a plan." She said.
"They can't seriously not believe that I'm not the prince." Chrom argued back.
"Chrom." Robin said exasperated. "It's getting dark, the fort doesn't look very well lit, and they haven't meet you before. So answer me this. How the hell would they know that you are the prince of Ylisse!" She almost shouted that last part. Chrom was embarrassed after being shut up like that. The Shepherds were laughing with Lissa saying something about being whipped, Sully shouted in agreement. I calmly walk over to them and tell them my two cents.
"Show them the brand on his shoulder." I say which to Robin opens her mouth to reply but doesn't, thinking about what I said. Chrom felt a little better but not much.
"How?" she asks. Now I'm in a predicament here. Just straight up say Sumia will be here soon or get to the door and pray. 'Option two is the actual story, so I'm not going to detour more than I already have… This is going to bite me in the ass later.'
"We'll find out a way." I say patting her on the shoulder walking towards the fort. "and when I say we, I really mean you."
"Is it really okay to leave mos' of the thinkin' to miss Robin?" Donnel asks catching up to me, then blushes when I shoot him a look. "I mean, I knows she's smart and all but won't workin' her to death wear here out?"
"To death." I say playing on his words. He's shocked then blushes again realizing his mistake. We walk quietly for a little while before I remember that he went through the same thing I was today. "Hey Donnel, how are you feeling?"
"Mighty fine, thanks for…" he dies off as he notices my worried look. "Oh you mean about what happen' today. Miss Lissa helped me a bunch' I really appreciate her royalshipness doin that for some plain village boy like myself." I laugh and pat him on the back.
"She is nice like that. You should ask her out to thank her." I half tease and half seriously want him to. He blushed to the tips of his ears.
"I can't, I ain't a Lord or nothing… and I ain't got feelings for her." He adds that last part on quickly. I nod agreeing with him, for now.
"I meant as a thank you." I say
"Oh…ohh." He looks a bit dejected.
"Luckily Lissa would be the only one teasing you if she heard you liked someone, or if there was even a notion that you did. And it did sound like I meant it like a date." I tell him. His blush calmed down and he adjusted the pot on his head. It oddly suits him.
"But I always want'd to see what Feroxi culture was." He said wistfully.
"Then let's go get something to eat, maybe try to bring some of the guys along, unless they decide to get drunk on Feroxi ale or something like that." I mutter out the last part.
"That's some smarts right there. My ma always said that the best way to learn 'bout someone was what they make for supper. I ain't old enough to drink though." He says. I was going to respond when Fredrick interrupted us.
"We are almost at the gate, you may plan your culture exploration later." He said sternly. I look over to the others, who are either behind or walking with us. I turn to Donnel and shrug. "The Feroxi are Mobilizing Their guard sire." He addresses Chrom. Chrom looked shocked but Robin had the look of I told you.
"Why?" he asks.
"Who can say? But they look ready to fly at a moment's notice. We'd best prepare for combat. I heard that Robin has a plan if 'Show them the Brand' doesn't work." Fredrick replies, subtly jabbing at my plan.
"We'll try to negotiate first, and if that doesn't work then we will fight." Chrom says. Fredrick nods and hurries off somewhere. Robin has her finger to her mouth, in her thinking pose. She snaps her fingers.
"Got a plan, but I'll tell everyone if we have to fight." She told Chrom.
"If we have to fight, we will not want to kill our potential allies. So no lethal attacks." Chrom points out, to which Robin nods. The whole group walks up to the gate only to be interrupted by a loud feminine voice.
"Halt! Who goes there?" she shouts in an authoritative voice from the platform above us. I can't for the life of me remember her name.
"In the name of House Ylisse, I seek and audience with the Khans!" Chrom shouts back.
"Not another step, my bold lad! I have lancers at the ready!" She is now threatening us. Neat.
"I have the Brand of the Exalt on my shoulder that can prove I am from House Ylisse." Chrom shouts back, this time more frantic.
"You brigands have tried that before, they all look painfully fake and rigid." She shouts back.
"B-brigand? Now see here-" Fredrick starts only to be cut off by what's her face again.
"You are not the first Ylisseans to try that trick and you won't be the last. I have the authority to fell all imposters where they stand."
"How dare yo-" Chrom shuts him up with a hand over the mouth.
"I am Prince Chrom of House Ylisse and I request an audience with the Khans." He orders.
"And I'm sure the prince would like to back it up the Feroxi way?" She taunted. Robins eyes went wide and whispered something in Chrom's ear. His eyes widened and smirked. He looked at Robin and nodded before looking up at the captain.
"A one on one fight verses myself and you. I'll prove myself there." He said.
"You will have to get up here first, guards attack." She ordered. All eyes went wide, Robin wasn't happy that her plan had backfired. I heard flapping and smirked. Sumia is on her way. Must have been stopping at the town. Spears started being flung. Chrom tried to block any from hitting his head. Sumia swooped in and pulled his arm up, he naturally swung his leg over the Pegasus like he was used to getting pulled onto a house. All spears missed.
"Oh thank Naga." Robin gasped out the breath she was holding. One hand was over her heart and the other was over her mouth. Her eyes were following them. I walk over and nudge her.
"Now would be the right time to show the brand to the captain" I whisper to her. The epiphany hit her as she cupped her hands over her mouth, shouting up to the two on the Pegasus.
"Sumia! Bring Chrom to the captain on the platform and show her the brand on his shoulder." She shouts. The confirmation that they heard was a sharp turn towards the platform. We follow them until they land. Robin turned towards the Shepherds who all had their weapons drawn. "Patience." She said calmly waving them down. She then turns back to the platform. "I hope this works, and what is taking so long."
I snicker. "Weren't you just saying patience." She didn't respond. Staring at the platform above us. "If they were fighting we would have heard it by now."
Ten minutes later the main gate opened with Chrom talking to Sumia. Raimi, that's her name, was opening the gate. Robin almost rushed and tackled Chrom in a hug, but composed herself. Vaike didn't though.
"Ole' Teach couldn't have his number one rival die on him." He said Chrom just laughed and accepted other affections. Robin did give him hug in the end. She buried his face in his chest talking to him. Chrom wrapped his arms around her and stroked her hair. I give Chrom a thumbs up when he looks my way. He blushed but didn't let go until she did. Raimi cleared her throat to interrupt their touching moment.
"I would like to formally apologize to all of you for mistaking you for brigands. We have had many incidents these past months." She bows when she finishes. Most blow it off. Fredrick gives a stern glare while she is bowed but stops when she stands up straight. "I can take a small group of you to meet the East-Khan." She was looking straight at Chrom.
"Lissa, Fredrick, Robin, do you guys mind if you come with me?" he asks them.
"Of course not milord." Fredrick answered.
"You need someone to keep you in check big brother." Lissa teased.
"I guess I could come, I don't know why you need me though?" Robin asked.
"You are the tactician, he might have some useful information you could use, like troop numbers and all of that." He said placing a hand on her shoulder. She visibly perked and nodded. "What are the rest of the Shepherds going to do while we are away?"
"They are guests and may stay in the guest housing we have available or explore the marketplaces and attractions around Arena Ferox. Whichever you prefer." My ears perk up. 'I'll snag Donnel and we can find some actual Feroxi food.' I look over to see Donnel looking at me. I just smirk and nod. He gives a toothy grin and tips his pot back a little leaning on his lance.
"That sounds good. Thank you, Raimi." Chrom states with a smile. The blonde guard just nodded, turned, and started walking forward.
"Let's go. The Khan would not like the guests to arrive second to a meeting." She said which confused everyone. Chrom, Lissa, Robin, and Fredrick follow while the rest of us were left in their snowy dust. Another guard walks up to us.
"We will take you to the extra housing unless you would like to explore, in which case, go ahead." He said the last part with a sneer. Asshole. I motion to Donnel and we walk past the guard to find some food.
"Where the hell you think you guys are going too?" Sully asked. I turn back to them and stop walking.
"We are going to experience Feroxi food from a restaurant. Anyone is welcome to join." I say, at least offering an invitation. Stahl was about to join when Sully gripped his shoulder.
"Not you Stahl. I was itching for a fight and we didn't get one. That means you and I are going to spar." She said heartily. He looked a bit dejected, but decided it was going to be worthless arguing. Nodding he stepped back.
"You can count Teach in!" he said thumping the hand that should have had his axe on his chest.
"Uhh Sir Vaike, where is yer axe?" Donnel asked. Vaike paled and started looking around. Miriel sighed and berated him. Sumia was tired from the long journey and declined. Virion had to get his beauty sleep I guess. I didn't notice anyone else so Donnel and I just waved and left. I tell Ridley to go with Sumia. She doesn't want to at first but Sumia wins her over quickly.
"See you guys later." I called out. We walked down the lightly snow-covered streets of Ferox taking in all of the sights. While it was night, the lights in the many pubs made it easy to see. I could see the huge Colosseum in the distance. Im guessing this is what the Roman Colosseum would have looked like in its heyday. I couldn't get an up close look but it was something to behold. Donnel had the same reaction but his was outloud.
"By golly. I ain't ever seen anything like that before." I hum a reply. There was on a particular pub that was packed and noisy. But that piqued my interest. While working in the food industry for 3 years I know that a packed house either means two things. Good food and alcohol, or a special performance. Noticing no sign out front it must be number one.
"There." I said pointing it out to Donnel. "We are going to eat there."
"Ain't that a pub? We both ain't legal to drink yet." He exclaimed.
"In Ferox, it's 18. Besides we don't have to have a drink." I say, spewing out some unknown fact. He gulped and nodded. He follows me into the pub. The place was packed. The bar was full with people chatting, ordering more ale or beer, and there was one guy singing on the corner stool. The tables in front of the stage were all… wait stage. There was a stage with a red curtain that was closed. There was a person sitting by a harp while the band next to him played a jolly tune. I laugh a little. They were playing Riptide by Vance Joy.
A table near the middle was open, if you brush off the crumbs, which I did. We sit down and Donnel reads the menu to me since I sat with my back facing it. And my vision sucks. The bar patrons were mostly drunk guys, there was a drunk lady here and there but with Ferox being the realm of warriors they looked like they could take most guys in a bar fight. I stopped Donnel at the salmon, knowing I'm ordering that. He continued reading to himself.
"What do you two good looking young gentlemen want to eat and drink tonight?" A busty waitress, who is using it to the best of her ability, asks us. She let her long silver hair flow over her shoulder. Donnel took one look at her and blushed looking away. I snicker and answer.
"Excuse my friend, he hasn't been to many places like this." I laugh out. She gives a flirty laugh. She's trying to get tips.
"Well I can excuse that. I haven't seen you two around come to think about it. Are you two new here?" she asks.
"We came with the Shepherds of Yisstol to talk with the East-Khan herself."
"She's been looking for champions, and by the way you two look." She reached out and squeezed my arm. "and feel, I can say she might have found some good ones."
"I like what you're doing, flirting with us to get tips. It might work for the drunk people, but not me, I've worked in a restaurant before sorry." I say with a shrug and an innocent smile. She looks shocked for a bit but laughs.
"You're smart I'll give you that. But Flavia might have found herself some champions if she got Ylissians on her side." She flipped her hair and Donnel finished reading the menu and blushing. "Okay what would you to like?"
"The Gravlax Salmon and a baked potato." I say remembering Lon'qu had something to do with potatos, I can't remember exactly what. She nods and turns to Donnel.
"I'll have the Pork Shank madam." He says. She giggles and he blushes…again.
"I'm not much older than you. Anything to drink. The Boar's Hat specializes in all types of alcohol."
"We're not having a drink ma'am, maybe a coupl' waters." Donnel answers.
"Smart choice. You might be the only ones able to enjoy the performance tonight." She answered.
"What performance?" I ask looking at the stage then back to her.
"Well the West Khan let's his surrogate daughter dance for crowds and this was the one spot he wouldn't let her until she turned 18. Which was a 3 month ago. So she decided to do it this week when he could be here. But he had some last-minute challenges for the champion position he has so he couldn't make it. He sent extra guards just in case but the guards…" she pointed over to two drunk Feroxi guards at a table a couple feet away. "… didn't catch the memo on protecting her." She sighed. "I wish she had someone to watch out for her."
Donnel was worried while I had one word in my mind. Olivia. She was dancing here, tonight and I'm surrounded by drunk idiots. She doesn't wear the most conservative outfit so I can only imagine what others would think intoxicated. The waitress had walked away. Donnel was staring at the stage.
"I wish she had somebody to watch afer her. It ain't safe for a girl to be out here at nite." He said. the lights went off when a light went on in my head. I lean over to Donnel to whisper that we were going to be that somebody when I froze as the curtain rose.
'…I…wow…is…' She is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen and that compares to Yellowstone and the Oregon coast at sunset. And they don't even compare. She had her eyes closed, hands in front of her chest. Her hair was so beautiful and those braids framed her face. Her perfect body which was strong but still slender and nimble. Her perfect face. She started moving to the harp which was playing Hallelujah by Leonard Cohen. She turned and flipped so gracefully, like she didn't notice that there was a crowd of drunk men cat calling her. It was just the music, and her.
She spun and did another flip, landing perfectly on the balls of her feet. The song was coming to a close and so was my trance. I notice two things, Donnel had pushed himself away from me and there was a group of four drunk idiots sneaking to the back hallway. That either holds the bathroom or a dressing room. Either way it's not good to see that. The harp stopped and the clapping commenced. While clapping I got Donnel's attention and motioned to the last guy who went into the dark hallway. "Three more entered before." I say.
"So?" he asked.
"That is either the hallway to the bathroom or to the backstage dressing rooms." I say. His eyes widened and he quickly looks back over to the hallway. "We are going to check it out just in case." He nods and shifts his way through the patrons. I've read enough books and scene enough movies to know what will happen. Drunk idiots come to try and rape her. Hero who is a badass comes to save the damsel in distress.
We walk to the hall pushing our way through. I see two wobbly men standing by a door. 'Son of a bitch.' I think strutting over. They notice us and hobble over to us.
"You can't… can't be over here." The blond one slurs, he can't look at us in the eye.
"Why?" Donnel asks.
"Because…Because… he tryin to get some." The bald guy says. until he gets punched by his friend.
"You dumbass… you weren't supposed to tell." He said shushing him with his finger. I sigh and rub my eyes. I pull out ten gold I was going to use on my meal.
"Here, it's five gold each. We'll watch the door for you while you go get yourself a beer." I say holding it in front of their faces. The bald one tried to grab it, but the blondie held him back.
"What if you try and… and stop him?" he asks me.
"Ten fur each of ya." Donnel says pulling out his ten gold.
"Deal!" Baldy said grabbing the gold out of my hand. Blondie looked at us until he stumbled over and took the ten from Donnel.
"We'll be back." He stutters out before he falls face first on the ground. I poke him with my foot. Out cold.
"Huh." I say quietly before motioning Donnel to follow me inside. I quietly push open the door and get pretty angry at what I see. One of them is pinning her hands on the wall opposite from us, besides a desk and mirror. The other guy had a hand exploring her body, while the other held her mouth shut. She was squirming around, trying to get free. He was kissing her neck and the other guy was laughing, while she had her eyes closed trying to wiggle her neck free. They didn't notice us at all. I motioned to Donnel telling him to go near the guy holding her hands.
"Wait until I snap my fingers to knock him out." I whisper to him. He nodded and quietly made his way over. I crack my neck and speak up. "Excuse me?" I ask loudly enough that all three stop and look at me. The guy who was forcing himself one her spoke up first.
"Oi what are you doing here?" He said. He was drunk as well. The other guy I wasn't so sure on, he wasn't wobbling or anything. He pissed me off the most. But what surprised me the most was Olivia, she was just staring at me with those beautiful amethyst eyes which worked with that unnatural but beautiful hair color… damnit me stop doing that. She looked so… so… thankful? No, happy? No, uhh… she looked relived mixed with shock. Yea that'll work.
"I'm trying to tell you to stop so we don't have to fight." I say walking slowly his way. His response was flipping me the bird. Glad to know that, that is still that. I notice his wedding band on his left hand as he flipped me off. "Your wife wouldn't be happy about you doing this, you know?"
"Ahh fuck that whore… she… she doesn't care what I do." He slurs. He releases Olivia's mouth and she looks more nervous now. "But you… you trying to stop me. That… that wrong. Imma hafta put you down." He gives a drunk laugh as his friend lets go of her arms. Walking towards me. He grabs a bottle of something and breaks it over the table. I sigh.
"Miss." I say she perks up. "Please step aside. I don't want you to get caught up in this." She nods and rushes behind said table. Donnel has not been noticed the whole time. He was standing by the stairs to the stage. I crack my fingers. "We didn't have to fight." I tell those two.
"You stopped Brenner from getting some." The non-drunk one said. "We have to take you down now." He was not drunk and yet he allowed this to happen, and was okay with it. Donnel better knock some damn sense into him. I snap my fingers.
Donnel used his pot to hit the non-drunk guy in the back of the head, knocking him forward but not out. Drunky turned to the sound. Moron. I rush him and punch him in the face knocking him out. The mix of alcohol and the punch made him go down easy. Another clang and a thump and I knew Donnel took him out. I shake out my fist and look at Donnel. He spun his pot, and with a smile, put it on his head.
"We taught them a good lesson." He said joyfully.
"I hope they remember it." I agree.
"Um… thank you." A quiet voice said. I turn to see Olivia creeping out towards me. I quickly make my way over to her, startling her.
"Are you okay?" I ask hopefully my voice full of worry. I hold out one of my hands for some reason. She looks at my hand then at me. I can see tears welling up in her eyes. I lay my hand on her arm to comfort her. "If you need to let it out, let it out." I say soothingly. She then throws herself at me, holding my vest and crying into my shoulder. I wrap my arms around her and pull her closer.
"I should have 'sob' he was right 'sob' I'm an embarrassment 'sob'." I picked up bits and pieces between her crying. I just held her close and softly rubbed her back.
"I can already tell you that you are not an embarrassment." I whisper quietly. She gave another sob. "It's never embarrassing to do what you love. Your guards are the ones to blame for not watching over you. They are the embarrassment." She gave out a giggle during her crying. It was a couple of minutes before she stopped and let go of my vest but grabbed on to my hand. Her make-up was smeared. She wiped at her eyes, the looked at me. I never thought anyone could get as red as a tomato until today. Her blush was frighteningly red.
"I am so…so sorry. I'm so embarrassed. I just used you for my needs." She then blushed harder. "That… that didn't sound right. I'm sorry." I laugh it off.
"I don't care, I'm just glad you are okay." She smiled. Beautiful.
"I'm us-usually really shy around people." She mutters looking away from me. I see her mutter something else under her breath but I can't hear it. "But-but with you I just-I used you as a shoulder to cry on. And it felt good." She blushed again. "Oh, I'm so embarrassed. I don't even know your name." She looks at me with some hesitation. I smile and rub the back of her hand with my thumb.
"Jordan." I say. 'Just some guy who fell in love with someone who doesn't exist, but feels so real.'
AN: So today I present chapter 3 and the in between moments. Psychology of killing is very interesting but I didn't want to dwell on it to much. If this chapter feels all over the place that's because it is. Every day is an adventure for the Shepherds so i wanted it to seem like it. Now onto important shit. Ship teasing. For Jordan I was deciding between Cordelia and Olivia and a review by ARSLOTHES (thanks for reviewing btw) pushed me towards Olivia. I put a couple of hints for others and a couple of easter eggs in there as well. I picture Ferox as a Scandinavian type of place so in the restaurant I looked up actual Scandinavian food. So that's cool, I hope. If any of the characters are not speaking properly (like they do in the game) please let me know. It's hard writing certain characters like Miriel and Donnel. some people it's just there mannerisms like Olivia and Vaike. Anyway next time Jordan fights in the Arena and talks to himself.
With some sort of love, 3008
