Hey, guys. Just a short note before you get confused. The underlined part of this chapter is a dream of Jane.

I hope you enjoy this anyway.

T73.

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I know it sounds stupid but the incident with Maura in her office, it made me thinking. Okay, that's half true, truth is that being back at the morgue made me realize how much I miss my work, and how much I miss Maura. That's why I asked Cavanaugh if I could come back. He happily agreed, but that doesn't mean that the Chief Medical Examiner and I stopped avoiding each other. She signed Kent to a case I've been working on, and I always asked Korsak to go down to the morgue every time Maura had been forced to work with me. Well, Life isn't always a bowl of cherries.

However, Korsak caughts me standing in the elevator staring at the door absentmindedly every now and then, asking me if I'm okay. I always say that I am. And I truly am because nothing has changed at the office and no one is looking pitiful at me because of what Maura and I had been through. Nothing has changed!

But this case is getting the best of me, not only because it is the first I'm leading a investigation again but because it is obvious that a woman is suffering of Munchausen syndrome by proxy and poisoned her newborn girl bit by bit. It's not just because I have lost my child, though. No, absolutely not. It's getting the best of me because this case involves a life that never got the chance to develop, and because it was her own mother who killed her. I make my way down to the morgue and push the door to the autopsy room open, watching Maura to clean her workspace up. "Hey."

She smiles sweetly at me. "Hi."

"I ... um -"

"I'm okay, Jane." She states with her back turned to me.

I frown. "Are you? Because ... cuz I am not."

She's still not looking at me. "Jane, we didn't kill our child on purpose."

"We didn't kill our child at all." I reply louder and finally she's turning to me. "Taylor O'Keefe killed our baby." She shakes her head. "What? What is it?"

"Actually I killed our baby. My body chipped off our baby."

Jesus! What the fuck? Is she really blaming herself for trying to stay alive? Is she actually starting to talk to me for real? "To keep you alive, Maura." I know that this case made it difficult for her as well. "And this mother did this to her baby because she wanted to attract attention."

"MSbP is a condition where a caregiver or spouse fabricates, exaggerates, or induces mental or physical health problems in those who are in their care, with the primary motive of gaining attention or sympathy from others. The name is derived from the term Munchausen syndrome, a psychiatric factitious disorder wherein those affected feign disease, illness, or psychological trauma to draw attention, sympathy, or reassurance to themselves."

"Yeah, I know," I say with a nod.

"However, unlike Munchausen syndrome -" she trails off and frowns.

"I just wanted to check on you."

"Thank you, Jane."

"You're welcome."

"This case must have been hard for you, because - it was your first since a while."

"It's tough but nothing I can't handle." Liar!

"Are you going to the Robber later?"

I shrug and shove my hands into my trouser's pockets. "As always. You're welcome to join us."

Maura's pressing her lips together. "I'll pass this time."

I saw this coming, that's why I'm not disappointed anymore. I invite her every single day but she's always turning me down. "See you in the morning, Doctor."

"You will, Detective." She says and I leave without turning back at her.

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I laugh heartily at Nina after she told how afraid Frankie was and how he flinched everytime someone asked for Detective Rizzoli before he understood that they've been asking for him.

They're tell me that they'll get the next round and I wave them off because I know it'll take them forever. Worst waiter, ever! I sip my beer and choke as someone squeezes themselves into the booth. "Are you doing this on purpose?"

I look at the woman and frown. "What?"

Claire's staring at me like she's about to murder me. "Are you shutting Maura out on purpose?"

I blink and my frown deepen. "No!" I reply with an high-pitched voice. "No, not at all. I ask her every single night to join us but she turns me down."

Claire looks long at me like she's trying to size me up.

"Oh, come on!" I groan and roll my eyes. "I am not always the bad guy. You know me, Claire."

"That's the problem."

I chuckle and start to peel off the label of my beer. "I don't know what Maura told you." I pause and furrow my eyebrows. "Why exactly are you back in Boston?"

She looks scandalized at me. "Because I'm your friend!"

"You're Maura's friend, and a shrink." I groan because she glares at me. "Alright, you're my friend, too."

"Is it that hard to admit that you have a shrink as a friend?"

"Yes," I growl playfully. "Because I always feel even more worse after I talked to you." I turn serious again.

She's reading me and I hate it. "You always invite Maura to join you?"

"Always, yeah."

"And you always want her to come?"

"Yeah."

"You sure?"

"Before Maura and I became a couple, we were best friends."

She smiles at me and furrow her brows. "That doesn't answer my question, Jane."

"Long story short," I ask back and raise my hand to place my order. "I wouldn't be the same person without Maura. Neither of us would, Claire."

"You sure of that?"

I look long at her. "I have to say, you're an awful shrink." I say and she laughs heartily.

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I painfully feel my heartbeat in my chest. Korsak disappeared in another street. I follow without hesitation and without slowing the pace. The alley is unusually narrow, barely wide enough for a normal vehicle. The high brick buildings don't let in any light. The moon is just a narrow sickle. Only a few bare bulbs, many broken, provide light form rickety rear doors. With slightly narrowed eyes, I look into the dark corners and try to hear more than my own heartbeat. I already breathe too hard for such a short sprint. My skin is wet. Every fiber in my body seems to be on alert. My muscles are tense. Where did Frankie and Korsak go? They were just seconds behind me! Something is moving behind me. I turn around, my Glock close to my body, aiming, ready to strech down the Burger King's empty cup. I see the wind shaking it and try to calm down. Relax. Focus. Stay calm. I turn away, my gun firmly in my hand. Again, I listen hard to hear more than just the rushing in my ears. The cold night air makes me shiver again. Breathing deliberately, so prevent my gaps. I gasp with fear, not because of exhaustion. Damn! I actually didn't want to let him upset me.

Carefully, I continue in slow steps. The cobblestones are old with uneven, partly cracked stones. The danger of stumbling and becoming vulnerable is great. Nevertheless, I don't look down, but let my eyes wander incessantly, though it is difficult to see beyond ten and fifteen yards. Is it getting dark, or am I just imagining that? My scrutinizing gaze wanders over piles of crates, black doorways, rusty fire escapes, anything O'Keefe can use as a hiding place or sanctuary. This time I doesn't let myself be conned. Where the hell is Frankie? I'd like to call, but the risk is too high. Did we both take a different path? No, I'm sure I turned around this corner into this alley.

Further ahead, I see an open area on which two cars are parked. A dumpster, however, covers my view of the entire area. Behind me are steps to hear. From the open space I hear muffled voices. I press myself against a dirty brick wall, and slowly sneak ahead. My chest hurts, my palms are wet. But I hold the gun, the barrel lowered to the ground. I reach the end of the building, but I can not get any further and crouch down behind the dumpster. Where the hell are Korsak and my brother? I try to see through the darkness the end of the alley. Nothing. The voices in front of me become clearer.

"Wait a minute." I recognize Korsak's voice. "What the hell are you doing?"

I am waiting, but there is no answer to his question. If O'Keefe has a knife, I can't see the danger until it's too late. I look out and see the back of the leather jacket. Good. He looks the other way and won't see me coming. But how close is he to Korsak? Behind me are loud steps on the pavement to hear. From my hideout I can't warn the person with a show of hands. Damn it! Every second O'Keefe will hear the footsteps, too, if it's not already too late. I have to do it now, it's the only chance.

In one swift movement, I leap out from behind the container, standing with my legs apart, both arms outstretched, aiming for the back of the man's head. It's only when I raise my voice that I see O'Keefe wince.

"Don't you move or I'll put a bullet in your head!"

"Jane," she heard Korsak say.

Finally I can see him. He stands close to the house, a shadow obscuring his head. Since O'Keefe is standing between us, I don't know whether Korsak has pulled his weapon or not. Instead, I concentrate on me on my target, not three yards away.

"Jane, stop," Korsak says but still doesn't move.

Is O'Keefe pointing a gun at him?

"Drop everything and get down, hands behind your head. Now!" My own voice stardles me as it echos back from the stone walls.

Finally O'Keefe moves, but not as I commanded. He turns around slowly and grins almost diabolically at me, I lower my weapon for a millisecond when I see why Korsak didn't intervene. Scared hazel eyes are staring at me and I feel the color drain from my face. I nearly drop my gun now. O'Keefe holds Maura pressed close to his body, his left hand graps her throat like a vise, in his right he holds a kind of hunting knife, he does not speak a word only grins. Then he raises the said knife and Maura sobs. That's the last sound I hear from her. O'Keefe watches me closely and with a precise hand movement he slides the blade of the knife over Maura's throat. The cut is deep enough to make sure Maura has no chance, but not deep enough to finish her suffering fast. The only things I can do is watching.

"NO!" I cry out the moment he slits her throat.

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My eyes snap open and I can feel my entire body shake. This is not reality, it didn't happened, this was just a dream. I have to close my eyes again so I can calm down. I just need a moment to understand ... this isn't my couch, neither is this my place. What the hell? I open my eyes again and frown as soon as a glass of water appears in front of me. I take it and look at a very healthy, and very much alive Maura and I start to understand that the snitch Claire must have dropped me of at Maura's. Okay, to be fair, drinking with Claire can cause some side effects. Probably I told her in my drunken state that I actually don't won't to be alone at all. I sit up with a groan. "Thank you." I mumble into the glass.

"You're welcome." Maura replies and sits down on one of her armchairs. "The case got to you?"

I run the fingers of my right hand over my eyes and groan again. "Seems like everything is getting to me this time, but ... yeah, that one wasn't what I'd call easy."

Maura's silent and nods slowly. "I am not a person who's judging someone because of what they're doing or because of what they have done -"

"But you don't understand why a parent, who's supposed to love and protect their child, can such a thing like Lauren Chandler did to her child."

She smiles weakly and whispers, "Yes."

I sigh. "Me neither, Maura."

She's watching me closely. "It didn't sound like you've been having a very pleasant dreams."

How do I sound like if I have a pleasant one? Has she ever heard it if I had ... Nah, I don't wanna know, that would be embarrassing. "It's a nightmare I'm having a lot lately." Ever since Taylor O'Keefe happened, I don't tell her that. "And every time I have it I try to change the outcome, but it doesn't work. It always ends with -" I don't finish the sentence because I know she knows what I'm going to say. I clear my throat and place the glass on the coffee table. "I'm going to call a cab. I don't even know why Claire dropped me off at your place."

"Because she didn't want to pat you down in the state of yours."

"I would have never -" I reply with my eyes wide but trail off as soon as Maura starts to chuckle.

"She just wanted to make sure that you'll be alright, and still breathing in the morning." She takes a deep breath. "And it's also late already, you can stay if you want to."

I take a deep breath and sink back down on the couch. "Okay, thank you." Now I frown. "And I didn't mean to wake you."

"You didn't." She says and gets up to her feet. "I was going to check up on you anyway. You know the way to the guest room."

Yeah, I do by heart. I close my eyes and run my hands through my hair. "He's killing you every single time." God, why do I have to say it and I can tell that she's frozen even though she was about to leave for bed.

"I'm sorry?"

"Taylor O'Keefe. He's killing you every time in the dream I had." I hear Maura walking back to the couch.

"Why didn't you tell me about it earlier," she asks and sits down next to me.

I scoff humorles. "Because your haunted by this bastard yourself. You had to spent days with him."

"Yes, I am haunted by him." She agrees and turns to me. "But just because I have been in this shed it doesn't mean that you are less haunted than I am."

I dare to look Maura in the eyes, and I dare to let her see what I've been feeling that time, those days. "After we figured out that he had take you, I thought I have lost you once and for all." I whisper and she's holding her breath. "I thought so because ... I, we have seen what he did to his victims, and the only thought I had was that I bring you back in a body bag, tortured to death, raped and fouled up beyond all recognition. I -" I pause and Maura closes her eyes. "The moment we got to know that he had you, I knew that we only had a time window of forty-eight hours before he'd ... kill you and dispose your body like it would be trash on the roadside. And I knew how much he'd enjoy the things he'd to you before killing you." I watch her closely because I'm not sure if she wants to hear it, or if she's ready to hear it. But she doesn't tell me to shut up. "And I knew that he wouldn't make it easy for us to come and get you, dead or alive, we all knew. Korsak, Frankie, Nina, the whole BPD. All of us had been looking for you with no exception. Even Cavanaugh didn't go home the time you had been missing, neither of us really slept, Maura. New cases has been put aside because we all knew that one of us was still out there, waiting for us to come and get her, waiting for us to bring her back home. And the day we found out that he was hiding in a shed, and got there, neither of us expected to find you alive. Either of us wanted to find O'Keefe and put a bullet in his head, no matter if he'd surrender or not. It took Korsak and Frankie all their willpower not to pull the trigger that day."

"Would you?"

"Kill him?"

"Yes?"

"Without batting an eyelash." I answer truthfully and she believes it. "But I also knew that you would have hate me for it because then we couldn't have brought him to account for what he have done to much more lives."

Maura's swallowing hard and she nods. "Yes, you are right. Then I would have been very mad."

A small smile hush over my lips and I sigh. "That's why I didn't go in until I heard over the radio that they found you, and that you were alive, barely but alive. That's when I get in and got you. I wanted to see you, feel you."

Maura's slipping her hand into mine and I don't pull away. "And if he would have killed me?"

I close my eyes and squeeze her hand, tight. "I'd have gone in that shed anyway. To see it for myself, that you are no longer. I probably had find a pulse and forced a paramedic to work on you until I would have believed that you're really gone. But you are not, you are alive."

Her smile is sweet and reassuring. "Yes, I am. I am very alive."

I look long at her and doubts start to cloud my mind. "Or is this just a dream? That you are still with me and in fact I'm pushing reality to the back of my mind?" It wouldn't be the first time and I know that I'm very good at it. Did Maura die in reality and what I thought is a nightmare, is a piece of memory?

"I'm right here." Maura says and suddenly she places my hand over her beating heart, it's strong, and steady, and soothing. "I'm right here, Jane. I'm alive."

"I can't stand losing you." I whisper but the tears are evident in my voice. "We've already lost so much, I can't stand losing you, too." Before I know what's actually happen, I find myself in a tight and loving hug. It's almost suffocating me but I don't mind it because it's Maura who's killing me. My Maura, my sweet Maura, my sweet, loving Maura. My best friend Maura.

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The moment I wake up I groan. God I hate Claire for real because my head is still buzzing. Thank God it's weekend. I want to stretch my arms over my head and freeze, my right arm is tightly held in place. I open my eyes and stare at the back of a blonde's head. I know it can't be Claire because she's a redhead, and because I still remember that I have been dropped off at Maura's. Okay, I remember that but I remember that she and I had a very emotional talk after I a nightmare had woken me. And I also remember that I wondered that Maura's death was reality and her being alive just a dream. I furrow my brows and look down at myself. Thank God, I'm still dressed. And thank God, Maura's still wearing her PJ's. Right, I remember. Maura was the one who took my hand at some point and led me upstairs to the guest room and laid down with me. We didn't kiss, though. We didn't even talk, we just laid down and held each other, comfort each other until sleep finally took over.

My body relaxes again and I sink back down.

Maura turns to me and frowns. "You seem disappointed that we actually just slept."

What the - I scoff and furrow my eyebrows. "I just recalled how we ended up sharing the same bed. I hope I didn't try to -" As far as I know -

"I was the one who wrapped your arm around me."

Thank God.

"But after I did so, you haven't let go off me."

"Are you disappointed?" Eh?

"I like it when you're sober." She whispers and I feel a tug on my shirt. My heart skips a beat when she's looking at my lips and I'm barely able to hold still. I force my eyes to stay open the moment Maura's hands sliding underneath my shirt. "Maura, I don't think it would be a good idea if we -"

"I don't want this to be a one-off to relieve some tension, Jane." She whisper and holds my gaze. "I want is to be like we've been before all this happened. But if you need time or even have to think about it -"

I am honest with her. "I have a lot to think about."

She hesitates but then she's gently rolling me onto my back, straddling my hips. She looks down at me and I hold my breath. "I know that you're strong enough for pushing me off."

I clench my jaw because I know that, too. With ease. Instead, I swallow hard and place my hands carefully on her thoughts, and I feel her quiver. My eyes are rolling back in my head the moment she starts to kiss down my neck gently and my hands wander involuntarily to her back, underneath the fabric of her top. "I want is to be the way we've been before all this has happened to us, Jane." She breathes against my skin and I want it, too. "I know we can't forget, but we can try to go on."

A moan escapes my throat as she keeps going. "Maura!"

She looks down at me with worried eyes. "Unless ... unless you don't want to anymore. Then we can forget about this tomorrow."

I hold her look and my heart is breaking. I believe all of what she has said. For the first time since a while and I pull her head down, kissing her gently and she whimpers. Not because of list but because it makes her understand that I still haven't give up on us.

Maura's starting to kiss along my jaw. "I love you so much, Jane."

I close my eyes and a year runs down my cheek. Not because I need to hear her say it, because this time it feels like she truly means it. And I'm not ashamed of my tears the moment she looks at me, not at all. I close my eyes as soon as she's sipping them off and kiss her back the second I feel her lips on mine. "I love you so much."

I love you too. I want to say it but something's stopping me right now. I frown once more when she's smiling down at me, not complaining that I don't say the words back. Maura's starting to unbutton her top but I stop her from doing so. Now there's worry written over her face. "No," I growl hungrily. "Let me!"

A broad smile appears on her lips and I start to undo painfully slowly the buttons of her top, kissing her in the same time.