AN: Sorry for such a long and unexpected break. The muse took a walk. I'll try for more regular updates!
"Take me to Justine," Jo said when they were back in their Kodiak, heading towards the planet. "I want to see Justine."
Joker didn't object. Jo, passive and quiet through the entire episode involving Gore Stanbury, had yet to show her real reaction. He knew that a meltdown was coming, and he was mentally prepared for the worst. He had even asked Karin to be on standby, just in case.
It was after midnight when they had switched vehicles and finally arrived at Justine's house. Upon entering through the garage door they were greeted by a scowl and a muzzle.
"Fuckit, guys!" Justine yelled. "I thought it was some intruder. Coulda killed you."
She lost both the scowl and the pistol when her big sister slammed into her and sobbed against her shoulder. For almost a minute Justine stood still, gobsmacked. Then her arms slowly went around Jo, and her eyes to Joker.
"What the fuck?" She mouthed at him.
"Guess this time you get to pick up the pieces," Joker smiled and tried to guide them both towards the living room. Half way there Jo suddenly tore away from them and disappeared down the corridor. She moved with remarkable agility for a 4 months pregnant woman.
"What the fuck happened?" Justine demanded to know, looking after her sister in bewilderment.
"Childhood trauma. She'll tell you about it better than I can."
"Is she... throwing up in there?" Justine jerked her chin at the bathroom door. The sounds coming from the small room gave her the idea.
"Yeah. If something really bad happens, she sometimes does that. I should go in and check on her."
"May I?" Justine put a hand on his bicep questioningly and Joker agreed to let her go after Jo instead. He went to the kitchen and started making a calming tea.
Jo felt like her body was not her own. Her stomach kept turning even after it was emptied completely. Tears rolled down her cheeks and some of them were from the events of the evening, but some were from suffocation. She kept retching, and while nothing came out anymore she still couldn't suck any air into her lungs.
Then there were hands on her, rough and unsure. Not Joker. The hands brushed the hair out of her eyes and rubbed her shoulders in an awkwardly soothing manner.
The spasms slowly receded. Drained of the last bit of her energy, Jo collapsed on the grey bathroom floor. Her body still felt foreign, heavy, sluggish. At some point a cold wet towel appeared and wiped her face. Then strong arms lifted her up and she was carried into the living room. Absently, Jo tried to remember the last time she had been carried like this, like a child. She couldn't.
A cup of tea appeared in front of her face and she lifted her hand to accept it. It shook so badly that she would have spilled the tea. The cup was taken from her and someone held it to her lips. Jo swallowed some of the liquid. It burned her raw throat, even though someone had thoughtfully made it lukewarm.
The tea instantly helped kick-start her senses and Jo finally felt herself return into her body. After half a cup the tea was taken away and instead rough hands were on her again, running over her arms, holding her head against a warm, hard shoulder.
"What happened to you, baby girl?" The soft whisper in her ear drove more tears to her eyes.
"You," she croaked, wrapping her sister in a bone-crushing hug. "Needed to see you. You're the one who didn't have... that in your past."
Justine, sitting on the couch next to Jo, held her just as tightly. Joker sat on the coffee table in front of them, holding the teacup, ready to jump in if needed.
"Tell me," Justine coaxed. Jo sucked in several breaths, trying not to hyperventilate.
"You have to lie on top of her," Joker suggested.
"Why?" Justine was more flabbergasted by the minute.
"Puppy pile."
"What?!"
"Just do as I say," he smiled, directing Jo to lie on her side on the couch. The baby bump wouldn't allow for a real puppy pile, but it was the principle that counted. Justine caught on quickly. She slid behind Jo and pressed herself against her back, effectively holding Jo down by the shoulders. Jo felt the heat from her sister's body and saw Joker's warm, warm smile as he held her hand. He'd just killed a man, he still had blood and brain matter on him, but he was so serene, so balanced... Not that Gore had been a man, precisely. If he were anything but a monster, Jo wouldn't have been throwing up in the bathroom. As it was, she was finally surrounded by warmth and endless support. The one puppy pile in her life that gave her all the comfort she needed.
She laced the fingers of one hand with Joker's, the other with Justine's.
"I've never thought that this would happen," she confessed.
"What the hell did happen? Can somebody finally fill me in?"
"Jo, it wasn't impossible," Joker rubbed her hand. "He was only human, after all. All it took was one bullet."
"He wasn't human," Jo was fully convinced of that truth. "He was a monster. My nightmare, my best kept secret, the one trauma I never dared to deal with. He had power over me like nobody else ever did. Or ever would."
"Tell me," Justine urged again, gently his time.
Jo shuddered and started talking. Facts were horrible enough, but she wanted these two people to see that she hadn't always been the strong, self-assured person they both knew.
"Saw him fo'th first time when's eight, after jus' ran'way from th'orphanage." Without even realising it she reverted back to a manner of speech heavily accented by the gang slang that she grew up with on the streets. "Gore. Looked like a god. Tall. Big. Powerful. Owned things. Clothes, watch, rings. Even two big, strong guards with huge guns. A car. Seemed all-powerful. For an orphanage kid ownin' stuff was the pinnacle o'power. When'e lean'd down an offered his hand, was like bein' lifted up by a god. Never saw anyone like'im before. Got us to a storage buildin', made us kneel 'fore'im an' thank'im for his kindness. Think I really was grateful that day. Gore's all about ownership. Made us swear t'im that we belonged t'im. Knelt there and really felt that... awe. Love. Worship for'im."
Sobs rocked her body at the memory of the skinny, blond little girl she'd been. If Jo ever had an eight year old daughter like that, she would probably call her 'little angel'. Nobody was there throughout her own childhood to call her anything but Beast or freak, sometimes even monster.
Justine's fingers tightened on her shoulders. She seemed to listen without breathing, catching every single word.
"Wasn't a nice god, tho. Y'did som'thin' wrong, y'got punished. He'd beat us n'front o'everyone. No matter how old y'are, broke bones, chipped teeth, the whole deal. Told us he's doin 't for our own good, 'cause loved us, wanted to teach us life, discipline. Made us kneel and thank him for the beatin'. I didn't know any better. Didn't know any other way t'live. Thought that was how it is. Thanked'im fo'is lessons. I was eight years old!.."
Another fit rippled through her body and stopped her story. Both Justine and Joker held on to her tightly. Their touches gave her the anchor in reality that she so desperately needed, and they both knew it, too.
"Other kids loved him unc'nditi'nally. Did everything he said. Gore gave us no food, no pillows o'blankets, just benches in the storage buildin' on 10th Street. Had to fight fo'm'own bench. Cut up three people for it. Gore was pleased. But t'keep th'bench had t'keep one eye open every day an' every night from then on. Kids were'fraid of me, called me Beast. Still, was young, tiny. Woulda killed me at any chance. Never gave'em a chance. Slept with one eye open. For ten years. Not a single night o'rest, never safe, never relaxed. For ten years."
Joker, the man who'd just murdered a man in cold blood for her and felt no remorse whatsoever, blinked away an errant tear. Justine was rigid behind Jo. She could only imagine what ten years felt like, but she realised even with her limited life experience that it was a lot for a thirty-something old person.
"A doctor'd come and patch us up s'times. A cop came by as well, gave Gore 'ficial documents that we're rolled into a school an' he's our 'ficial guardian. I knew that was real power. Nobody'd look for us, could take us away from 'im. He owned cops, doctors, the whole system. Gore was everywhere, saw everything. Had power over everyone. Knew he could do anything. Was my life. Knew no other way. Gore or nothin. Gore or death. Gore or... oblivion."
Joker listened with a cold stone in his gut. He wondered if Jo realised that she was speaking slang. And even if she did, she probably didn't notice that now and then she was using some big word that she'd obviously learned after leaving Gore and the gang. Those words she always pronounced correctly. It was more clear to him than ever that the Reds had marked an era in her life and that she was done with them forever when she escaped. As far as she could, she eradicated all their influence that wasn't useful to her.
"Gore own'd a strip club. Spent 'most every night there. The girls were all his. His. Owned 'em. No matter how old, grabbed one or two every night, fucked'em where everyone could hear. The Reds got the leftovers. Girls're commodity. Sign of status, power. Owned 'em. Every time heard the sounds of fucking, felt so small'n helpless. Hated feeling that way. Knew that one day it'll be me. Did all I could not to look pretty, or even like a girl. Tried be invisible. Lived in constant fear. A block of ice in my guts. Lungs paralysed, couldn't breathe from fear. Was my life. Always looking out, always protecting myself from lecherous men. Always, always, always... Numb with fear. Always cold from terror. Every minute o'every day for ten years. Was my life, didn't know any better, didn't know anyone else lived differently."
Justine quietly cried, holding Jo in a crushing embrace. Joker, still holding Jo's hand, closed his eyes. His jaw muscles worked in silent rage at everything his wife had been through. Even after killing Gore there was nothing he could do to erase these memories from her mind. He was helpless and just like Jo he hated the feeling.
"When's about eleven, started thinkin': why can't join the Reds? Was already stronger than many of the boys. Just 'cause I'm a girl Gore kept me on the sidelines. Wanted t'prove myself. Then realised there was no proving myself with him. Started thinkin': why's he telling me what can and can't do? Nes time'd demanded that we knelt and thanked him, refused. Beat the fuck outta me. Always bigger, always stronger'n me. Always able to put me in line. But not here," she tapped her own temple. "Challenged him. Wanted t' understand why second class human. Took brutal beatings for't every week. Every time he beat me, subdued me, had the Reds repress me, got more and more angry. Knew couldn't win'gainst him. Too powerful, too omnipotent. Lots of anger, tho'. Was fifteen, let it all out on a rival gang member. Crushed'is skill with a rock 'till only goo remained. Gore's so happy! Became his darlin'. But... knew 't was wrong."
She fought against nausea again as images from that day, that narrow street assaulted her. The images of a pool of blood, pieces of bone, goo, and two eyes swimming in it, undamaged.
"Was goin' mental. Darkness inside me pulled me down when looked at m'bloody hands. Suddenly knew't the darkness was alive. Fed by fear, pain, brutality. It wanted tribute. Wanted blood and pain. 'T same time discovered a part of me that didn't want it. Felt it was wrong. Went t'Gore, told'im 'bout it, wanted to know his opinion. Was so pleased! Wanted me to go on like that. I knew he wanted me succumb to the darkness. Wronged me like no one else. That's when started fightin'im for real. Fightin' for my soul. Never got rid of that darkness completely, not until my last resurrection. And Gore... The most powerful man throu' my childhood, a god, always stronger'n me. Ran from him, knew could never win against him. Ran and hid. Ran, hoped never to see him again."
Jo looked at the entire length of her life. It had taken something very drastic to tear her from Gore's clutches. He had finally tried too hard to control her, tried to ultimately subdue her, make her the same as all the other girls. She had run from Gore, from Vancouver, and eventually from the Sol System. She'd done everything possible and impossible to pull herself out of that darkness, to learn what was really right and wrong. But the strongest fear - the one born in a child's mind - fed by years of mental and physical abuse, never left her. Gore represented that fear.
When he reappeared in her life she simply couldn't handle it. Her rational mind told her that he was only a man, like Joker said. But the twisted, toxic, ugly, filthy thing inside her still believed that he was larger than life, larger than anything she could throw at him, that he was omnipresent and omnipotent. You couldn't win against him, you could only run and hide. That had been her truth for as long as she remembered.
Jo cried so hard that her words were barely more than hysterical mumbles by the time she recalled how she'd felt this evening, finally seeing her worst nightmare emerge from oblivion and claim her again. She hadn't been protecting her baby when she held her husband like a shield in front of her. She had been protecting herself. The sight of Gore, the sound of his voice had sent her back twenty five years, to him looming over her like a god demanding obedience and gratitude for his 'kindness'. If Joker hadn't been there Jo would have had a really hard time pulling herself together. It was only thanks to his provoking Gore, distracting him from focusing on Jo, that gave her the chance to snap out of the stupor. Joker, who hadn't grown up with Gore's brutal conditioning, saw nothing more than just a man, and therefore felt no supernatural fear of him.
Joker had done the one thing Jo had never been strong enough to do. He faced her past, her worst nightmare, the demon from her own personal hell, and he vanquished the fucker.
Jo jumped off the couch and started pacing up and down the room. There was suddenly too much energy in her to stay still, she needed to burn some of it off.
"I can never repay you for what you did today," she told her husband. Just like that the gang slang was gone without a trace. She was back to the present. "I'm Commander Fucking Moreau, and I still couldn't face him, stand up to him. I just couldn't. What you did for me... It wasn't just removing a threat to our family. You..." She bit on her knuckle, fighting new tears. "You set me free. You took the weight off me. Do you even realise what this means to me?!" Her voice rose to a shriek, displaying emotion in a way she hadn't... ever. She knelt down in front of him and took his hands. "You'll never truly know what this means to me, and that's a good thing. You're good and wholesome and full of love. He... I know it was childish, immature, but I kept running from Gore since my eighteenth birthday, even if I found my calling along the way. All I ever did in my life was just to run farther, faster, where he couldn't get me."
She rubbed her face.
"The Alliance knew, the Academy knew, of course, but they couldn't help me with it. I simply made sure that as long as Gore was out of my life he wasn't affecting my performance. But what he did to me never healed. It was always there, the rigidity, the tension, the shadow of self-destruction, the... frigidness. And you freed me. I don't have to run anymore."
She got up again and clawed at her throat:
"I don't have to run anymore. Oh my God. I have to throw up again."
She ran to the bathroom again and relieved herself of the tea she'd been drinking earlier. It was her body's way of purging the trauma, cleaning itself in order to begin a new chapter of her life. Free of the crippling fear.
This time Justine and Joker both waited for her in the living room. She needed no help in the bathroom, and when she came back, she sat with Justine again, looking at the identical face.
"You," she sighed. "Maybe you've had a bad start, but at least it wasn't him. He didn't have you. Didn't leave his poison inside you. You're free of the darkness that always threatens to take my sanity. You're purer, lighter, and I love knowing that if Gore hadn't conditioned me, I would have had a chance to be pure and light as well."
"Jo, you're burning up," Justine said, touching her flushed face.
"Yeah," Jo agreed. "I don't feel so good. It's the shock. I need to lie down."
"You're calling in sick tomorrow. We both are," Joker said, getting up and pulling her against him. He slowly started guiding her towards the garage.
"Do you realise that I've never ever called in sick before? Not without being forced by the doctors." She slurred. The adrenaline was leaving her body and she was shutting down fast.
"You are now, that's non-negotiable."
"Okay." Her easy compliance was a testimony to her sickness.
Joker took more of his wife's weight and looked back at Justine. She had been cautious, aloof, mostly mistrusting until today. Jo had dealt with her shit, had offered support, had tried to show her that trust as well as unconditional love were possible. But Justine had still been defensive. Today the tables got turned. Jo needed her. Came to her in her time of need to lean on her shoulder, to hold on to her strength. For the first time Justine could feel what a real connection was.
As Justine walked them to the car, Joker could tell that this had been a turning point for her. From now on she was Jo's real sister, no resistance or mistrust anymore.
At home, Joker put Jo into bed and wrapped himself around her under the duvet. Jo came down hard with a fever. The events, predictably, triggered her nightmares again. For a full day she kept flailing and screaming each time she dozed off, and only woke up between troubling dreams to drink some tea. Her stomach could hold little solid food, her body burned up, her skin turned ashen, but Karin assured Joker that all of it was merely psychosomatic. Underneath the stress of dealing with a trauma she was in perfect health and so was the baby.
When the fever finally broke, Jo was told that she'd spent almost two days in bed.
"That must have been some trauma," Joker exhaled in relief. He'd spent the whole time at her side.
"Gee, ya think?" She huffed. "Did you think that homicidal maniacs like Commander Shepard are just born that way?" She leaned her face into his warm, supportive hand. "No, it takes monsters like Gore to make us."
"You're free now, love," he soothed her, running his knuckles over her pale cheek.
"I am," she sighed, trying out the taste of those words. "It'll take some time to truly believe it."
They didn't get much time. Tess informed them that the Chief Defence Officer of the Serrah System was calling and he was not taking no for an answer. As they were, Joker and Jo moved to their study and sat down in front of her computer.
"General Sevola," Jo nodded at the turian, whom they had met for the first time the day the Normandy had arrived on Chrysalis. The man opened his mouth to speak, but paused, taking in the sight of her.
"Commander, did I call at a bad time?"
Jo, pale, sweaty and dishevelled, wearing a rumpled shirt and no bra underneath, leaned against Joker, who at least was decently dressed. She was weakened by the bout of fever and needed food, but it seemed that the General had some business to discuss first.
"Does it matter?" She shrugged. "You wanted to speak to us, and here we are. What can we help you with?"
"I apologise for the disruption. We tried to contact you at work, but for two days your assistant and all the instructors have been telling us that you're not available."
"I told them not to bother us and they... didn't bother us," Joker chuckled. He didn't realise how literally his words would be taken. The Academy made sure nobody else bothered them, either.
"Commander, Instructor, allow me to introduce to you the Chief of City Security, Commander Dehal Valen. He has some things to ask you and since your staff at the academy was stonewalling him he approached me for help."
Another turian stepped into the picture.
"Commander Valen," Jo nodded at the man.
"Commander Moreau," he sounded very uncomfortable. "My office is investigating the events of two nights ago, which started at the local club called The Seashell, where you and your friends are frequent guests. Several staff members and patrons had been taken hostage by a terrorist group. Later the terrorists hastily headed off-planet, ignoring customs and warnings from the close range patrols. Their shuttles managed to break away from pursuit and they left the Serrah System, heading for the nearest nebula. Within minutes after their departure three shuttles from the planet's surface cleared customs under Instructor Moreau's authorisation and headed to the station. At the same time a large squadron of shuttles and one man fighters were seen performing manoeuvres near the edge of the system, where the terrorists headed. Later the shuttles used by the terrorists have been found in the debris field left by a passing comet. It appears that they were destroyed by the rubble, but the timing of all these events raises the question if we are not investigating murder of around fifty people. And when the Academy refused to put me through to you..."
"It seemed suspicious," Jo nodded, all business. "I see."
"I'm not accusing you of murder, Commander, or of anything else at this point. Can you just tell me what happened?" Valen looked at them imploringly. Accusing the hero of the galaxy of anything could potentially mean the end of his career and possibly life, they all knew that, but the man had a job to do and the guts to actually do it.
"What have you found out so far?"
"The staff and the guests at the Seashell all say the same thing: a terrorist group took over the club and you and your people rescued them." Valen's mandibles twitched. "And that is literally all they're saying."
"I must thank all those people for going through so much trouble in order to protect my dignity," Jo nodded solemnly.
"What do you mean?"
"Do you know who those terrorists were, Commander? Who they were to me, I mean?" When Valen shook his head, Jo continued: "Tenth Street Reds. A gang from Vancouver, Earth, the one I belonged to before I joined the Alliance at eighteen. In the last few years they have contacted me a time or two but I had no intention of associating with any of them ever again. Now we have a permanent address and are quite easy to find," she rubbed Joker's arm. "And the Reds have finally caught up with me. They followed us and when we went to the club the other day they took over and waited for us. The people taken hostage won't tell you more because the truth, if it hit the media, would be very disheartening for the public. The truth is that when the terrorists left the building I was lying on the floor, sweating, gasping for air, clinging to my husband frantically and fighting cramps." When the two men stared at her uncomprehending, she explained: "I was having a panic attack."
Valen and Sevola exchanged a shocked look.
"Why?!" Valen gasped when he found his voice.
"Because I'm pregnant," she rose to her feet and lifted her shirt a little to show the turians her growing belly. "Jeff and I were scared for our baby. When the Reds left, I couldn't keep it together anymore and collapsed in a panic attack. I was in need of immediate medical attention."
Two sets of mandibles twitched in complete silence.
"You're pregnant." General Sevola stated. "That doesn't look recent," he nodded at her belly, which was hidden under her shirt again as she sat back down. "You were already pregnant during the Victory Ball."
"Yes. Was there a question in there somewhere?"
"No, I'm just trying to adjust my reality," the turian said with a small smile. "This is big news."
"Indeed. And apparently not sharing it with the public sooner got us in this mess. The Reds would have never come to this planet if they'd known about the baby."
"Why?"
"I told them I'm pregnant, General, and invited them to imagine what I would do to them if they harmed my baby. Their leader was a smart man. His retreat was hasty."
"I see. What happened then?"
Joker took over the story:
"While Jo was having a panic attack on the floor, I called our closest friends and our doctor. After she made sure that there was no immediate danger of miscarriage, she wanted to do a few thorough scans and we went to the station. We have all the equipment there."
"And what about the destroyed shuttles in the comet's wake? What about the academy's fighters going after them?" Valen asked.
"I don't know anything about that. I was a little preoccupied," Jo shrugged as if it was a non-issue.
"Actually, I sent my class after the terrorists," Joker said.
"You did?" Jo looked up at him. "I didn't know that."
Joker rubbed her shoulder and continued speaking to the turians:
"Their shuttles entered the debris field in an attempt to escape. Too bad their pilots weren't good enough to fly trough."
"And your pilots are?"
"They are good enough not to enter a minefield they can't navigate," he smugly waggled his eyebrows. Valen sighed a little:
"And for the last two days..."
"We've been at home. Jo with fever, me taking care of her and our baby."
"So you claim that your pilots didn't shoot down the terrorists?"
"That is the truth," Joker nodded. "Why, did you find something that points to the contrary?"
"What little there was left of those shuttles was too damaged to give us any conclusive evidence," Valen sighed again. "If they had been killed in a fight at The Seashell, it would have been clear self defence, but out there on the edge of the solar system... If they had been shot down, it would have been murder. But we don't have any conclusive evidence to suggest that. I have no choice but to rule it an accident."
"I'm sorry we couldn't be of more help," Jo's eyes drooped and she leaned heavily against Joker. He took one look at her and became very serious:
"She needs liquids, food and sleep, right now. Is there anything else, gentlemen?"
"No, but..." Valen twitched one more time: "I have to put what I've learned from you into a report. Which will let your secret out to the public."
"Good," Jo sunk deeper into her man's arms. "When people learn about our baby, at least the smart ones will know to leave us the fuck alone. In fact, why don't you make an official statement to the reporters? It'll save us some trouble. All we'll have to do is to confirm."
"I will do that," Valen nodded and took his leave. General Sevola said his goodbyes and congratulations, before he signed off as well.
The screen went dark and Jo sat up a little straighter. She may have played her tiredness up a little bit, but not by much.
"Jeff," she said, looking in his eyes. "You are a great liar. I believed you."
"I've been watching you at work for years, haven't I? But this little performance was a joint effort."
"That's not what I mean." She grabbed his shoulders to hold him at a bigger distance to see all of him. "When it comes to promoting someone on my team over the others, I always tried to avoid favouritism. Garrus was my second in command for so long because everyone agreed that he deserved the position. But I wouldn't do that to him again. He has enough on his plate with being the Primarch's direct successor. And with him out of the race..."
Joker blinked with a frown, not getting what she was really saying.
"I don't have a second in command right now, Jeff," Jo said. "At the Academy, it's either me or no one. We all know that it's not an ideal situation, but I couldn't simply appoint someone without considering it very carefully."
"What the hell are you even talking about?" Joker lost track of the conversation a while ago.
"Jeff, you've embraced your inner N7. Aside from being the best pilot I know, you took a newborn AI under your wing and taught her how to be a person. You made friends with all the different species on board and when they weren't getting me they came to you for explanation and advice. You successfully managed one crisis after another, culminating in the other night when you faced my demon and removed him from my life. You made a decision that Gore needed to die and you didn't ask for permission. You knew what you had to do and the whole academy stood by your side, aiding you, following you into a crime. Your flight class adores you and the rest of them respect you and listen to you. You are a talented hacker. You've learned quite well how to manipulate and motivate people. You're a great liar. You play very dirty, cheat and betray and steal when there is need for that. You know what's right and wrong. More than that: you know when you can afford to be petty and when you truly need to make a grand gesture. You're persistent and stubborn, you stick to what you believe in, you do whatever it takes. And finally, you know what the N7s are truly all about."
"Jo?" Joker's frown became deeper.
"I'm saying that I would have never promoted you beyond Senior Instructor simply because we're married or because I worship the ground you walk on. What I'm really saying is that you've proven yourself beyond any doubt. You're it. The person I was looking for. And so, if you want the official position of my second in command, it's yours."
"Because I lied to the authorities so convincingly."
"No, because of everything I've just listed. Weren't you listening?"
Joker stared at her, uncomprehending.
"You heard me but didn't believe me," Jo nodded with a smile. Her husband's reactions weren't hard to decipher. "I'm telling you in my official capacity as the leader of the Academy that after a long and very careful consideration I singled you out as the person with the exact criteria I need in my proxy. I'm offering you a job."
Joker was breathing again, but he still stared at her silently.
"Of course," Jo added. "Nobody will ever believe you that you got it fair and square. They'll all think that you slept your way to the top. Can you live with that?"
"Yes. Yes to the offer, and yes, I can live with that," Joker finally overcame his numb tongue.
His whole body was a single bundle of coiled energy. He'd always known his place in the order of things. Private affection or not, Jo was a professional and took her work very seriously. Up until now he hadn't been quite good enough to be her second in command. Garrus and Tali (and maybe even Wrex) would always go before him, and he was fine with it. He had his responsibilities and Jo's trust to keep her alive. He took his job seriously, too.
He wasn't fooled now, either. If Garrus were available, he'd still be her second. Still, Joker knew what this meant even without Jo actually saying so. As her second in command he would have the right and duty to carry on the mission in her absence. Whatever the mission might be, she believed that he could handle it exactly as well as she would. Moreover, he would have the right to decide who earned an N7 badge if she was not available for that decision. That kind of trust made him giddy. That kind of power spun his head.
It was also a huge responsibility, and an enormous honour. He honestly hadn't seen it coming. Sure, he'd done everything she'd listed, but he never aimed to impress her in such manner. He was just doing what he thought was right.
"Do I get a new uniform?" He grinned wolfishly.
"If you want. You'll definitely get a badge."
"Thank you, Commander," he said seriously then, addressing his CO and not his wife. "It's an honour."
"It's a fuckload of responsibility and extra work, too."
"And I'll do all I can not to disappoint you."
Jo nodded. She knew.
"Jo," Joker sat up in the chair. "I just remembered something. On our wedding day you gave me full access to your personnel file, and I never even looked at it. Oh, fuck, how could I forget?"
"I distracted you with lots of sex," Jo laughed. He agreed and ushered her to the kitchen, fed her and tucked her back into their bed. Now that he remembered it, he couldn't wait to access the data.
