One week later
Chase woke up in the morning before his alarm. He had already been nervous about his return to work and it was no surprise he woke up early.
Pushing himself up, he struggled with head rush but it subsided then. Moving to the edge of the bed, he pushed his legs off so he could move to his chair. His legs had become thin and withered. He hated it, but it was at least easy to move them now there was barely any weight to them. It hurt though. He had always been active and cared about the shape of his body. Now that was all gone.
Moving to his chair, he sighed deep. His back was hurting already and he needed to be okay today for his whole day at work.
Looking in his closet at all the ties and the shirts, he finally picked a pink one with a light-yellow tie. It was strange to have to wait for somebody to help him get ready. But he was excited to go back to the office today for the first day.
Yesterday he had spend most of the night packing his bag. Before could just easily do that in a few minutes, but with the current state of his hands it was a lot harder. Plus he had think about a lot more stuff now. Before he just needed his wallet and some other essentials, but now he had to think about his medication, extra battery for his wheelchair, all the supplies he needed for his care and everything else he could possibly need.
Yvon entered the apartment and helped him get showered and dressed. Even though he was home for almost a week now, he was still not used to it. Every morning he was awoken only to have to be helped to the shower and get dressed.
The first few days he had just adapted to life at home. He managed decently and with his laptop he managed to catch up on some papers he wanted to read and extent his medical knowledge. He had also caught up on all the case files.
Once Yvon had helped him get ready he made his way outside where Wilson was waiting for him.
''Thanks for taking me to the hospital.'' Chase said as he had had the option to be picked up with the wheelchair van they had used for the dinner, but he was glad he could drive with Wilson instead. Wilson gave him a hand getting into the car. His back was not great today, but he felt better just driving with Wilson.
When he had less therapy and his shifts were more worked out, the hospital offered to hire him a taxi to pick him up every morning and bring him home every evening.
At the hospital Wilson let him out by the entrance to go park further up himself. Chase was a bit nervous as he went inside. But luckily he was early and it wasn't as busy. In the locker room Thirteen was already there and she helped him get his doctor's coat on. It was strange but also exciting to be back.
In the office, House was already there and there was a large cake on the table to welcome him back.
''You did that?''
''No, Cuddy did.''
Chase smiled, even though he thought it was a bit over the top, he was glad that he was welcomed back to warmly.
Soon House presented their case and Chase enjoyed it so much he could finally give some input again. Even though he was not able to help with the tests, he was so glad to be at work again.
As it was time to lunch, he knew it was time to catheter himself. Nervous he made his way to the mens room and moved into the cubicle with his bag.
In the cubicle he got everything ready. Even though he had told the therapist he would ask somebody to help, he wanted to do it himself. His hands were shaking and nervous he peeled the plastic back.
He knew that PTTH had already offered him a nurse to help him out during the day but he had refused. Even though he knew it was probably foolish, he really did want to be helped here in the hospital as well. People constantly stared at him already and needing a nurse to help him out in the bathroom only made him feel worse.
He had always managed himself. With his mother and his younger sister, he had always managed and he wanted to keep doing that now as well.
Grabbing the tube out of the sterile packaging he was nervous to drop it as he put it down on his lap. This was still the easiest part. Looking down at his jeans he sighed deep, not sure how he was going to manage.
Somebody else entered the bathroom and he stopped, sat as silent as possible. The person walked out after about a minute and finally he managed to get his jeans opened, pushing his underwear down. He was not sure if it was because he was in pain and tired, or just the nerves, but hands were shaking so bad he was pretty sure there was no way his hands would be steady enough to get the tubing into his urethrae. Grabbing the tube, he took a deep breath. Slipping from his hand, the tube fell onto the floor and he let out an annoyed moan. There was no chance he could even use this tube now without screwing himself over.
Annoyed he pulled up his underwear and after struggling for a few tries, he closed his jeans again. Maybe he could try again at home where he had a bit more time and patience. Leaving the cubicle, he looked at the mess with the packaging and the tube he had left on the floor but annoyed he just closed the door.
The last thing he wanted to finish this day by ending up on the floor because he fell from his chair.
Straight out of the bathroom, he almost bumped into doctor Jameson. He remembered yelling at the man about three weeks ago but did not feel sorry about it at all.
''Hey doctor Chase, how are you doing.'' He said.
''Can you get out of my face please?'' Chase said a bit angry.
''Wow, sorry-''
''Just leave me alone.'' Chase said even more angry. He felt so angry about the whole situation in the bathroom, and seeing Jameson again did not make that much better.
''I am really sorry about asking you –''
''Didn't I just tell you to leave me alone?'' Chase asked angry.
''I figured my study might help you-''
''Help me in what way? How? You going to get me walking again? Fix the pain in my spine? Make it so I can take a damn piss on my own again? Just leave me alone!'' Chase yelled at him and some people stopped in the hallway now, looking at him.
Jameson said nothing and walked off. Chase looked at some of the people staring at him and left to go back to the office.
Sitting in the office, he enjoyed his lunch in peace. House came walking into the office and sat down across from him.
''Heard you gave quite a show yelling at Jameson.''
''He needs to get out of my face.''
''Are you actually really angry with him for asking a stupid question or is it easier to yell at him than actually work through stuff in therapy?''
''I am not answering that, you'd get annoyed too if you were in pain and Jameson was bothering you.'' Chase just mumbled.
''I am. You are going home. You are moody, angry and obviously you are not ready to do full days.''
''House!''
''I am still your boss and you are going home.''
''It's not like you are a joy to be around.'' Chase said angry as he grabbed his bag.
Upset he got into the bus to go home. The bus home was another level of hell with it not being very accessible, but he was just happy to be home now.
At home he got settled in the tub. He wasn't sure how he was going to get out later, but he would work that out. He felt so angry about being send home. His back felt a bit better now and maybe it was a bit too much for him to sit up so long in the office.
Struggling but with the help of the bars he had installed in the bathroom, he pulled himself out of the tub again and back in his chair. On the bed he managed to get boxers and a shirt on and moved to the kitchen with his medicine bag. His back was getting worse by the minute and he just wanted to go to bed, and not wanting to wait for the nurse to come.
Grabbing his phone he called Yvon's number. Luckily there was a shortcut to it now he had used a lot of power getting out of the tub since his hands were shaking like mad.
''I am alright for tonight and tomorrow morning.'' He said.
''You sure-''
''Yeah, have somebody else looking after me tonight.'' Chase said upset and hung up. He just wanted to be alone now. He felt really bad about himself. Something as simple as taking care of his own seemed to hard now, but he really wanted to. He had always managed on his own and felt he should still be able to do that.
His hands were shaking as he grabbed the vial of morphine and the syringe. Leaning his arms on the table, he managed to get the needle into the top and taking some out.
''Come on now, come on.'' He mumbled softly as he held the needle near his left elbow. Concentrating he tried to find a vein. Finally he managed to find one and pushed the needle in, administering the pain medication.
''Not being able to do it myself my ass.'' He mumbled softly, smiling as he had managed to do it himself. Moving his chair to the bed, he started to feel sleepy. All he wanted was to fall asleep and have today be over.
He had looked forward to going back to work, but today had easily been one of the worst days of his life.
Another update! Thank you so much for reading. I hope you enjoyed this chapter and please let me know what you thought!
