The day after Josi's birth the young family moved planetside to their own home. Three days after that the two parents stood together, watching the baby sleep in her cot. So far the tiny girl proved herself a sound sleeper and a good eater, making loud noises quite rarely. Taking care of her was easy. The nursery at their house was perfect. The breastfeeding worked out from the start. Jo was back to health due to the trusty medigel and Karin's care. The Academy returned to business as usual even in the absence of both Moreaus. There was nothing extraordinary left to do. They simply had a baby now. All they had to do was keep her as happy and healthy as she was right now. When that realization finally sank in, Joker asked his wife:
"And what now?"
"I suppose we could just go back to work as usual and bring her with us," Jo mused.
"Like, bring her to the nursery at the station?"
"No, like, take her with us to the classrooms. I don't see why not, she's sleeping like a rock. And if she needs something, then we take a break. Everyone will just have to deal with it."
Joker thought about it and had to agree with Jo. Thus it was decided. The very next day they both returned to their jobs with only one difference: there was now a basket exchanging hands between the two of them, and they would regularly abandon their duties for a feeding or a diaper change.
The inhabitants of the station had been duly informed that the baby basket was equipped with state of the art shields and a security system with its own VI, which let only three people reach inside and touch the baby: the parents and Karin Chakwas. Technically, Justine's DNA was also a match for the system, but nobody on the station needed to know about that. However, even though the apocalypse-resistant basket electrocuted anyone getting too close to it, during every free minute a whole group of people would gather around it, cooing to the baby.
During the pregnancy Alice had arranged a sort of a baby shower for Jo and all her girlfriends, from which Joker had been banned. Now he decided to arrange for his own baby shower with all his male friends, which Kolyat hosted at The Bar. All the women had been sent to a spa planetside. Jo and Alice had to be dragged off by force.
Several tables were pushed together and the baby basket was placed in the middle, while all the guys sat around with soda drinks. Joker looked at the familiar faces, old and new. All of them wore the Academy's uniform. Garrus looked particularly dashing in his.
Steve Cortez, who was now an N4, had a new sparkle of joy and adventure in his eyes as he watched the baby. Nobody doubted that he would ever forget his Robert, but Josi's arrival had kick-started his passion for life once more. Joker believed that Steve would find happiness again, perhaps even sooner than later.
James Vega was a bit of a question mark for Joker. The man was still in love with Jo, and the baby definitely caused a turmoil inside him. However, Vega had never given Joker any reason to worry about a thing. He was absolutely respectful of Jo's life choices. Besides, it didn't matter all too much who the baby's father was. After everything they all had been through Josi felt like a daughter to all of them and she had Vega's complete loyalty.
A new addition to their circle was Michael Portman, the recruit whom Jo had forcefully dragged to the Academy and was personally coaching to become an N7 of her magnitude. At the very beginning Jo had said to the recruits that during meals in the cafeteria there wouldn't have to be a separation between them and the instructors. Anyone who wanted to could join Jo and the rest of the old Normandy team at their table. However, so far Michael was the only one who had dared to do that that a few months ago. He simply came over one day and sat down, as if he belonged. It paid off: the group of old friends respected his boldness and quietly accepted him. Behind closed doors during regular evaluations all the instructors noted to each other that Michael Portman stood out from the mass of other recruits. He had the attitude for an N7 commendation, despite not having applied for a single exam yet. Joker suspected that Portman aimed for the same thing Vega had done: shoot from zero to N7 in one go. Joker had no doubt in his mind that Portman would manage with flying colours.
Ken Donnelly, Greg Adams, Matt Cyco, Kolyat, Rodney and a few more techies and instructors finished the circle. Josi, undisturbed in her basket, was soundly asleep.
"Well," Joker began once everyone had a drink and focused on him. "You all know I'm not the guy to give speeches. Not my thing. But the girls have already had their bonding ritual over the baby when Jo was still pregnant, so I thought we should have our turn."
The others cheered as gently and quietly as they could. A few toasts to Josi and to the new daddy sounded, more soda drinks and some food arrived, and the group of guys relaxed into the unusual mood. Joker caught everyone's attention one more time and spoke:
"I gathered you here for more than just a celebration. I want you all to look at that child." He paused and everyone followed his instruction, falling thoughtfully silent. "Once upon a time another blond baby girl was born. All I know about her parents is this: They must not have been very responsible. It's known that they took drugs and neglected their child pretty much from the day she was born. They inadvertently set their baby girl on a path that cemented her destiny and shaped the entire galaxy as we know it. For better or worse, she became the woman each one of us would willingly die for. The goddess we all worship and follow into every shithole. Is that not so?"
Of course he was right. Every single guy at the table would jump in front of a bullet for Jo, instinctively and heedless of his own well-being. She was their Jo, that was all there was to it.
"Today we sit here together and in our middle there is this tiny baby girl," Joker continued. "None of us knows what can become of her. She has the potential to become a powerhouse like nobody has ever seen before." The guys laughed in agreement. "Or she could end up a reclusive school teacher with a beautiful rose garden. My point is that Jo's parents abandoned her and I will not let the same thing happen to my daughter. We, all of us, have to do right by this baby. Jo had no family until we came along. I don't fucking care how tough it made her. This baby will have a family. She can never end up alone in the system, homeless on the streets, in a drug-running terrorist gang at the mercy of a sick fuck like Gore Stanbury, or a piece of meat in a Cerberus lab. Will you help me? I don't want any sacrifices from you, it's much simpler than that: you just have to be there for her if she ever needs something and Jo and I can't help her."
"Of course we're with you," Cortez declared immediately, almost insulted that his support wasn't being taken for granted.
The other men joined in on the agreement.
"You didn't even have to ask," said Matt.
"I think it's better that I did ask," Joker replied. "We know from Jo's history how easily parents can disappear. I don't need you to parent her, I just need you all to always remember that she exists and be there for her."
The entire group returned their attention to the sleeping girl. Yes, a tiny pink baby could grow up to be Commander Shepard. Thirty years from now they would know what kind of a person this baby was, but right now every road was open to her.
A mech brought more sodas, crackers and sandwiches and the serious group relaxed.
"Can we now hold the baby?" Matt prodded Joker. "Your anti-nuclear basket bites harder than a shark, and we still haven't had a chance to hold the kid! We've been patient enough, haven't we?"
"Has everyone been through the decontamination?" Joker demanded sternly. The guys collectively groaned: he, Matt and Garrus had personally installed a small decontamination chamber at the entrance to The Bar this morning in preparation for this party. "Okay, now listen closely," he said, taking the still-sleeping girl out of the "toothy" basket. "While we were still pregnant, I read an interesting report about human men and babies. Scientists have proven that a human male who is single, who has no steady presence of women and children in his immediate social circle, has the highest level of testosterone. Therefore, such a male is the most aggressive, impatient, and abrupt. In other words, he is the man on the prowl, itching for a way to prove himself above his competitors for the sexual partner's attention. Nobody wants a stick of dynamite like that around a baby." He held his child tightly and measured all his friends one by one. Most of them looked quite surprised by the sudden twist in the conversation.
"Now, when a human male is in a steady relationship, his level of testosterone sinks a little. Since he already has a partner, there is no need to dominate the competition. And when a human male has a child, his testosterone level sinks so far down that it pretty much matches that of a female. That's a fact, no need to grin so stupidly. A man with very low testosterone is patient, he can live through hours of baby crying and sleepless nights and everything else without getting aggressive. He's gentle and nurturing, it becomes an instinct. I've seen vids that prove it, it's actually quite fascinating. Anyway, as the child grows older, the man's testosterone level rises until it becomes regular again. And you know what? I believe that the same is true for other species, as well."
Josi was slowly waking up from being held, while Joker looked each of his friends in the eye with all seriousness:
"Now, gang. Since none of you have children, none of you have the required low level of testosterone that would automatically make you safe to handle my kid. Some of you are in a steady relationship, which is a step closer, but I'm not sure it's enough. So, which one of you will be the first to promise to consciously curb his testosterone and be as gentle as a woman?"
Cortez was out of his chair before Joker even finished speaking, and reached for Josi:
"I solemnly swear, now hand her over, you bear. We won't break her. Well, maybe Mr Vega would with his shotgun hands…" And that was it. Josi looked up at the new man holding her and lifted her foot to poke him in his chin. Steve Cortez melted once and forever.
"Wow," Matt whistled at the picture Steve made holding the baby. "You know, guys, maybe if people brought babies to hostage negotiations or other violent discussions, the chance of a peaceful outcome would rise."
"As long as the baby isn't screaming. That could provoke more aggression," Adams continued the thought.
As the sedate conversation flowed around the table, the baby changed hands from one "uncle" to another, and never once failed to work her magic. Even the non-humans among them were taken in by her charm.
"Joker, we all know what a rollercoaster ride this pregnancy has been for everyone at this station," Ken asked at some point. "But what you went through handling Jo in private reaches a whole different level. You told us some funny stories about the coffee and the food cravings, but I bet it wasn't all that funny at the time. How did you do it? How did you manage all of it? Didn't you ever just want to run and hide?"
Joker, watching Matt with Josi like a hawk, considered the question.
"Not run and hide, never that. Sure, sometimes I felt like I needed a breather. But the thing is: I like being around Jo, no matter what she does. I don't feel comfortable if I don't know where she is and how she is, and the best for me is to hear her voice somewhere in the background every minute of my waking hour. You know that feeling that she's right there and that means you're home." Joker threw Ken a significant glance and caught an understanding one in return. Above all present guys Ken was the one to truly understand. Gabby was always in his vicinity, Ken could hear her or see her all the time at work. Ken understood how his woman's presence could make everything right, while her absence left a niggling feeling of incompleteness.
"Basically I kept telling myself: it's not her fault. It's actually my own damn fault for knocking her up to begin with. She'll be back to her usual murderous, bitching, domineering, demanding self as soon as the baby's born. Wait, what exactly would be the difference?"
Laughter roared, followed by shush-ing and hush-ing, but Josi didn't seem to be bothered. She had a firm grip on Garrus' mandible and wasn't going to let go.
"You and Gabby can start trying for your own baby now that Jo and I have ours," Joker suggested to Ken, remembering a conversation from a while back: Gabby and Ken wanted Jo and Joker to be the first ones to start a family.
"We might," Ken said non-committally. He probably didn't want to jinx it if they were already trying.
Josi, born on April 27th, was a month old when things started to really quiet down. Even Alice and Gianna Parasini stopped having shaking fits from exhaustion. It turned out that Joker's attitude scared off most help seekers for the duration of the pregnancy. As soon as the public learned that the baby was finally there, though, everyone and their uncle finally felt free to send in their request, congratulation, question, donation, business proposition, help offer and so on. All inboxes exploded from the amount of messages and it took Jo, Alice, Joker, Gianna, Matty and Dex a month of combined effort to wade through the chaos.
By the end of that time Alice and Gianna decided to split their responsibilities: Gianna took over everything that had to do with Aurora Foundation: donations, construction and human resources at the orphanages the Foundation was building on all strongly populated planets, legal red tape, search and rescue on less populated planets, transportation of found children, supplies, education, search for suitable families or blood relatives… The list was never-ending. Alice, meanwhile, took over Jo's and Joker's personal schedules and requests. The girl, having turned seventeen not long ago, became a very skillful assistant to both of them, despite being thrown into this job by Jo at a very young age without any relevant education. Jo's unerring eye for talent had struck gold with that one.
After Josi celebrated a month of being alive, her parents invited a few chosen people to Jo's office. The guest list consisted of Tali, Garrus, Karin Chakwas, and Jack. When everyone was seated, Jo pitched her idea:
"Not all of you are closely familiar with human culture, so first I will explain. There is an old tradition on Earth that originates in religion, but has moved to the civil side and even has a legal foundation these days. When a family has a child, the parents have an option to choose godparents for their baby. Godparents are most often close friends of the family, people who can take part in the child's upbringing and personal development. Most importantly: godparents are the people who will take care of the child should anything happen to the parents. These days there is a popular legal practice to appoint guardians in case of the parents' death, just to be on the safe side. In short: godparents take over if the birth parents die or are otherwise unavailable. That contract is binding and the child in question can never be put up for adoption or be swept up by the system, as long as any godparent still lives."
Jo, slowly rocking the baby basket, gave her friends some time to process the information.
"It's called godparents because originally they were people who witnessed the kid's baptism and acted as his or her spiritual guides. Well, Joker and I aren't exactly religious, but considering who we are, what we do and how many enemies we have out there even now, we think it is necessary to legally appoint some people who could take over if anything happened to us."
While Tali and Garrus sat quietly, Jack's eyebrows crawled higher and higher. She clearly couldn't understand why she of all people was here, except maybe to act as a witness to the legal proceedings...
"Jeff and I had a conversation about it and in the end it was quite a short one because we are on the same page about what I'm going to say next, even if it surprises some of you. No matter where our daughter lives or who she lives with, we are giving Karin Chakwas all the rights of a grandmother. That includes unlimited unsupervised visitation rights and all the legal and medical obligations of a close relative in the absence of parents." Jo saw Karin bite her lower lip, clearly touched and trying to stop a wayward tear.
"Josi's grandma is, however, beside the point. That contract is already signed by Jeff and me, it's final, binding and non-negotiable. Whoever Josi's parents are, she will always have a grandmother in addition. All we need, Karin, is your signature on the form. Now comes the trickier part: we don't want to force anyone. We would simply like to ask three people if they would agree to become our daughter's godparents and step in as her legal parents if Joker and I should die. That is why we gathered you here today. Tali, Garrus, Jack, we would be honoured if you said yes. Mind you, we're not planning to die. This is just a precaution, but one that we would be stupid not to take. Garus, Tali, if you two are a couple, then you get a joint custody. If you are not and live separately, then Josi would go to Tali first. If Tali is not available, then to Garrus. If Garrus is also unavailable, then to you, Jack."
"And if all of us are dead?" Garrus, ever the optimist, voiced the question. Jo shrugged with a sad sigh:
"We decided not to plan that far ahead. It would be like asking for trouble, you know?"
"But Jo, Joker, we don't even eat the same food!" Tali nearly squeaked. "Aren't you afraid of some accident, that we could poison your baby?"
"The two of you are the most responsible dextros imaginable. You don't have accidents."
"But we're also not humans. If we became her parents, how could we teach Josi about being human, her history, heritage, her roots?"
"We discussed that," Jo and Joker nodded at the same time. "It turns out that neither of us feels the need for Josi to learn human culture closer than any other culture. Even with us she will be growing up among many non-humans in the spirit of peaceful cooperation. All the roots she needs to know about are Joker and I as her closest relatives. And you know more about us, our history, ideas and ideals, than anyone out there. That's all we care about. Listen, guys, you have an option to say no if you don't feel ready. We will find someone else. Our minds would just be easier if it were you."
Jack used the pause in the conversation to suddenly explode:
"Are you two fucking completely incurably insane?!" She whisper-shouted, still careful not to wake the baby. "You want ME to ever have even a tiny possibility to raise your kid? Did you forget who I am? How I grew up? I know nothing about kids or parents, I'm not a mother material and I should be the LAST person to be asked!"
Jo waited patiently for Jack to stop fuming out of her ears.
"Finished with the tantrum?" She smiled serenely. "See, Jack, when Joker and I sat together to discuss this, we knew: Tali and Garrus would always be the first we want to raise our daughter in our absence. But we wanted one more option, a third person. And we had all our friends to choose from for that position. There are several people who would definitely agree. Hell, you would probably have to fight Cortez tooth and nail to get Josi if we died. But we both have good instincts and we feel it in our guts: you may not have had a traditional upbringing – and neither have I, by the way – but you care deeply about children, about doing right by them. We've seen how you are with your students from the Grissom Academy. You said it yourself: you're dependable now. You are a fierce mother. You will be a fierce mother for your children, and also for our child, if need be. You see, in a world where Joker and I are dead, and Tali and Garrus are dead, I want it to be you. If all of us are killed, I know you will keep Josi safe, you will smear the wall with all the bitches who try to hurt her. You will stop any further violence, you will make sure she loses nobody else, and after all the bitches are fucking dead, you'll teach her everything Joker and I stand for, because you truly understand it and feel it. Is that a good enough reason?"
Jack slumped in her chair, completely shocked.
"You have an awful lot of faith in what I would do," she finally said.
"Wouldn't you?" Joker asked. Jack slumped even further down as she gave the thought some consideration.
"Damn it all. I… I think I really fucking would. But I'm not… You know. Soft. Kind. Motherly."
"Oh, I don't know," Joker said. "You have as much potential to be kind and motherly as any of us. Most effective killing machine in the galaxy," he pointed at Jo, then at himself: "Misanthropic asshole. This baby already has two krogan boys for cousins. She won't be scared of a few tattoos."
"You really thought this through, haven't you?" Jack gave up. "Just out of curiosity, then: if I ever have a fucking baby, would you become its godparents?"
"If you want us to, sure," Joker shrugged. Jack cursed under her breath, defeated. She could come up with no argument that would make the Moreaus change their minds. She could refuse, of course, but... That stupid new-found sense of responsibility wouldn't let her.
After all the forms were signed, the whole group sat together in silence for a while. All of them were a little overwhelmed by the realisation that life would never ever be the same again.
Jo let other instructors and the recruits deal with all the help requests coming in. Search and rescue, data recovery, hostage situations, terrorist attacks, pirate raids and kidnappings by slavers - the galaxy's miscreants were back in business. Dealing with these requests was the Academy's direct purpose and the best training for the recruits. Compared to the Academy's old times, there was now a new kind of requests mixed in with the others: mediation, or 'peace talks', as the recruits liked to call it. Those requests started out tentatively, mostly coming in from planets where geth had settled down along with organics. Later, encouraged by the results, other multi-species settlements started asking for help in potentially combustive situations. It warmed Jo's heart to see her life's ambition realised. Very quickly the recruits from Xenophilia branch became the ones who traveled the most, usually in pairs or groups up to five. Even though Wrex wasn't an instructor, Jo made sure that every recruit from that branch visited Tuchanka at least once and learned from him. Her favourite krogan proved to be a real inspiration for everyone who saw him in action.
Still, most of the requests had to do with armed conflicts. Jo wasn't exactly ignoring these issues, but dying twice had taken its toll on her psyche. Whenever she thought of heading into battle, her throat tightened and her stomach turned to stone. Fear. Fear had rarely been an issue... before. Gore Stanbury had always caused her fear, but not many things other than him did. Sure, some fear was always there, and it had kept her sharp during countless battles and saved her life thousands of times. But until now it had only given her an edge, never crippled her. Now she couldn't imagine a situation when she would don her armour and pick up a rifle again, except defending her family.
She never spoke about it with anyone but Joker. Even Garrus didn't know the full extent of the damage the Reapers had caused for her. Garrus was a busy man these days: instructing the recruits, working with the turian government and navigating the still-fresh relationship with his favourite quarian. Jo wished her best friend all the best and didn't bother him with her problems. Slowly but steadily he was moving on to bigger and better things, he was coming out of her shadow and becoming his own man. Jo loved and admired the cocky turian so much that she couldn't keep him tethered to herself and her needs. He'd grown his own wings and she decided to let him fly solo.
Most of her friends, even those who now worked as instructors in her Academy, were becoming more and more independent, getting a life, taking over new projects and slowly shaking off the label "Shepard's team". Jo was happy for all of them. In fact, since she didn't need to take care of anyone's well-being anymore, a lot of tension from the Normandy days was lifted off her. Now she had the needed head space, the freedom of mind to apply herself to other things.
As a warrior she was now severely crippled. Joker assured her that he knew how her fear came to be and fully supported her refusal to fight. Therefore Jo wanted to find out what else she could excel at, instead of fighting. Her newly planted garden at home was shaping up nicely and earned approval from the neighbours. After the Shepard Revelations Jo noticed that more and more people would randomly stop by to invite the Moreaus to a party, involve them in some local social activity or to simply strike up a casual conversation. At first Jo was surprised that nobody was asking her to solve their problems, but after a while she realised that this wasn't about what Commander Shepard could do for these people. This was about the Moreau family becoming a part of the community. People gladly shared with her their experiences with pregnancies and babies, gave her gardening tips, shared recipes and exchanged gossip. For the first time in her life Jo got a taste of what it was like to be normal, to have all the things she'd missed out on as an orphan. For the first time she wasn't walking the edge between the innocent civilian life and the darkness of violence. She was now firmly on the "light side", as Joker kept teasingly calling it. They were, for all intents and purposes, civilians now and Jo loved it.
During the pregnancy it had been more comfortable to wear dresses and light shoes, but this new softness to her looks had an additional effect: other civilians found her less scary, more approachable and inviting, easier to talk to. Now, whenever Jo carried Josi with her, she found herself surrounded by friendly smiles and well-wishers. It was a discovery that shook her deeply: a Spectre with a rifle received a very different reaction from civilians than a beautiful young woman with a baby. She suddenly understood why civilians mostly didn't feel the need to learn any self-defense. What for? They could live a lifetime without throwing a punch, especially women. This change of attitude towards her was exhilarating. Jo wanted to keep it and encouraged it more. Even after giving birth she continued wearing dresses and abandoned the severe hair-bun in favour of open waves. The Academy teased her about all these changes, but Jo wanted this civilian life, she loved being accepted by normal, regular people, and embraced her new style.
Joker said that it caused his head to spin on the day when Multistars invited them and the Normandy crew to visit their studios, located on a planet completely owned by the company and turned into one giant vid set. They were to meet the actors portraying them in the upcoming five-part epic vid. Jo walked into a conference room, wearing a pale yellow sundress, her hair loose, her make-up soft, and Josi's basket in her hand. A minute later another door opened and Joker nearly swallowed his tongue, as a severe blond woman came in. She wore the old style of Alliance dress blues, her hair was twisted in Jo's familiar bun, she was armed and walked with brisk determination. The shape of her body and her face were remarkably similar to Jo's. The producers introduced the lead actress, Marina Kruglova, a young Ukrainian vid starlet with little work in her resume but a strong talent and a promising future in the industry. For this occasion the actress arrived in-character. Joker's knees wobbled as he watched his wife and the actress appraise each other for a few minutes in complete silence. Commander Shepard and Commander Moreau, in the same room together. The differences couldn't possibly be more visible. He, the producers and the Normandy crew collectively held their breath, waiting for the outcome of that meeting.
"Hm," Jo finally said and Joker knew: she was as dumbstruck as he was. Marina tilted her upper body back a little bit and folded her arms on her chest in a gesture so much like Jo's that several crew members hiccuped and coughed from surprise. It didn't matter that Marina was barely known by the public - she was good. Scarily good.
Just to be an asshole, Joker decided to try something. He approached the two women from the side, equally facing each of them, and said with a wicked grin:
"Yeah, this stare-down between two blondies can last forever, so let's break it up. Hi there, girlie." He aimed a smirk at Marina. That smirk and the word girlie were a normal way for him to address Jo ever since they'd become a couple. It always got an easy, flirty reaction out of her. How would the actress react? If she truly was in-character right now, she should at least like him, right?
Jo tried to hide a laugh caused by his interruption. Marina flinched a little at his vulgarity, but caught herself quickly.
"An asshole, as always," she smirked right back. "Well, we'll see how tough you are once you meet Dwayne."
"Who's Dwayne?" Joker asked.
"My Joker," Marina replied. She pushed a few buttons on her omnitool and mere seconds later the door opened once more to let in a man wearing black uniform and a brimmed cap. The newcomer hobbled towards Marina to stand by her side. Joker realised that the actor playing him was nearly ten centimeters taller than him! Joker opened his mouth to show this wannabe his place, while the actor filled his lungs to grace Joker with his snarky attitude right back, but Jo quickly stepped between them:
"Stop," she ordered, half-laughing. "Shut up, both of you." She then turned to the producer team and said: "If your Joker is even a little bit like my Joker, then we may not survive this encounter. Hell, this whole planet may not survive it. I propose we postpone any further meetings with actors, for the sake of my nerves."
"You have to admit, Jo, this could get really funny," Ken threw in.
"Oh, yeah? Can you even imagine two Jokers on a mission to outdo each other? This could get really, really sad for the rest of the galaxy."
Joker had a lot to say. He could point out all the little things that made this actor completely unfit to portray him, drown him in filthy jokes, demand to see if the actor could even fly a ship, just... assert himself as the better Joker. But his wife was right: his own attitude multiplied by this mirror image could easily escalate into something quite destructive. Decision made, Joker dared the other Joker with a raised eyebrow to say even a single word against Jo. He took orders from no one except Jo, but for her he would do anything, even shut up. Thankfully, both Marina and Dwayne stayed quiet.
The producers took over as hosts and showed them what kind of work had been done while Jo was pregnant and unavailable. They were working on all five parts of the epic at the same time and had already recorded some key scenes with the lead actors, while larger teams were working on battle scenes. In a hangar nearby stood a fully functioning replica of Normandy SR2, and the Normandy SR1 was to be finished within a month. Promotional material already hit the public channels, and the studio was merely days away from releasing the first teaser-trailer featuring Marina and a few key crew members. As originally requested, Jo and her people were needed as supervisors and consultants to make the vids as accurate as possible. Therefore Jo demanded to see the material. They spent nearly two hours in a small cinema, watching pieces of what the studio's experts generously called 'battle scenes'.
"This is crap," Garrus declared when they finished watching. The usually level-headed and polite turian seemed duly frustrated. "Do you have any idea of turian military at all?" He asked the vid makers.
"Or about the Alliance?" Vega piped in.
"I'm not even asking if you know a single flight formation or the names of the basic maneuvers. Because - clearly not." Joker puffed.
"Yeeeah," Jo concluded, seeing that the rest of her people also had a lot to say. "There are many factual mistakes in there. Basically, you can delete most of this stuff and start from scratch."
The producers stoically pulled out their datapads, the expert team opened their omnitools, the writers got their computers, the small army of assistants prepared to take down every word of wisdom about to be bestowed on them. Jo considered them for a moment before saying:
"The one thing every military person out there will be able to tell after watching what we've just seen, is that almost everyone on screen is an actor. They have no military training. I could spot a few former soldiers in the crowd, but they were simply not enough. So, if we do this together, then we do it right. I will not put my seal of approval on any vid material until it fits my standards. The biggest problem with the battle scenes is that your actors need training. They move like dancers who rehearsed their steps, not like military units. My proposal is this: collect all your actors who are going to appear in any battle scenes. Send them to Chrysalis. Find them a place to stay for three months. I'll get them all the training they need and walk them through what the script demands."
The producers couldn't decide whether to choke or to faint. Three months - after the gigantic delay they were already suffering because of the pregnancy - seemed like a death blow.
"You could make a thing of it," Vega spoke up and everyone turned to him. "Start a campaign that promotes the vids' accuracy. You already use Jo's involvement as a bonus point of attraction, so why not expand on it? Accentuate the accuracy, ask for witness reports, send the general public on a hunt for real footage from ship sensors and helmet cameras during all those battles, get people to send you their old uniforms, armour and weapons worn and used in those battles. You know what I mean. Make a huge thing of it, make the whole galaxy participate instead of just waiting for the release. Hell, make that training camp Jo just demanded into some sort of a reality show. I'm telling you, if I don't get to be a part of it, I'll definitely watch it. And I'm a real, serious, decorated officer of the Ascension Fleet. That should tell you something."
The producers slowly stopped frowning and stared at Vega with hungry eyes. They saw incoming money, hype and ratings in their minds and they loved it.
"Vega, you are evil," Jo said to him the next day, when they were back on their station at the cafeteria. She was reading the preliminary plan of action Multistars just sent her. "They took your ideas and developed a plan of attack beyond my wildest imagination. This galaxy is about to become one gigantic hype machine, and it's all your fault."
"They're welcome," Vega smirked. "But my ideas were not for free. I want something in return, and you're going to give it to me."
"Me?"
"Yeah. I want to train those actors. I want to run that bootcamp and teach them what being in the military is really like. Give them to me, Lola, please, give them to me!" He stretched his hands towards her, as if he could literally grab that project from her.
"You're not a turian officer," Garrus interrupted. "I should be the one to train the turians among them."
"The STG..."
"And the Flotilla..."
"Everyone!" Jo laughed out loudly. "No need to argue. Garrus, Vega, I volunteer all your recruits and staff to supervise that bedlam. Most of your guys have been in the military, and you have members of every species. Just make sure not to show those actors any trade secrets of the Academy."
"And what about the parts of the vids where N7s appear? What about Kruglova? She and her stunt doubles need training of the Academy."
Jo considered it.
"You know, there's a problem. My training took many years and many teachers. I couldn't possibly make Marina Kruglova as good a fighter as I am in three months. Besides, she's the lead actress, she'll be completely booked doing all the non-fighting scenes first. Let her, the poor woman probably bit off more than she can chew with this role anyway."
"Maybe we could pun a helmet on you and let you do her stunts?" Joker teased Jo. "Your bodies have the same shape."
"And pretend to be the woman who pretends to be me?" Jo gasped. "You're truly wicked!"
"I guess in her case it probably wouldn't look bad if she were to fight like a dancer who knows her steps, Jo," Garrus added. "You certainly look like a dancer on the battlefield, and you're different in your style than most other humans. It could work."
On that day a new chapter began in the history of the galaxy, one which Joker later called "The Epic Vid and All Who Made It".
