Mkay, so this chapter is almost entirely fluff. Also, hard conversations. And mentions of suicidal thoughts. So please don't read if any of those things are something you are not comfortable with.
Oh the other hand, here is nearly 5000 words of original content, we will continue with our regularly scheduled episodes next chapter.
Enjoy!
-RainingCoffee
The next morning, I wake up to a crick in my neck and a knee digging into my back.
I have a moment of confusion until I realize I must have fallen asleep while the Doctor was talking about North American folklore. Oh, that's kind of embarrassing. It was really interesting too.
The Doctor laughs, his hand ruffling my hair. "You actually lasted longer than I thought you would. I was running out of things to tell you." He admits.
Sinking further into the couch, and by extension his legs, I make a noise to show my displeasure at being awake.
"Words, Willa." The Doctor prompts, voice gentle. I get the feeling that he'd be fine if I didn't want to say anything, but in return we wouldn't be going on any adventures today.
He taps me on the top of the head. "We wouldn't be going on any adventures anyways."
"Why?" I ask, the sound garbled from sleep.
"You had two very traumatic experiences happen to you yesterday. Today will be a rest day." The Doctor tells me.
I have a moment where I want to deny what he just said, but trying to lie to a guy who has a direct line to your head is probably not the best thing to do. Instead, I intentionally relax my tensed shoulders. "Okay."
"Glad you agree." He says, voice mild while he tries to shift positions. "Now, would you mind getting up?"
That's weird, he normally doesn't mind me leaning against him-Oh. I bite back a smile. "Are your legs asleep?"
"Brat." The Doctor states, laughter in his voice.
"I guess I'll just stay here then, if your legs aren't asleep." I tell him, leaning further on his legs.
He groans in response. "Alright. Up!"
I laugh, but do as he says, allowing him to stretch out said appendages.
We are still out in the space the Tardis had created for us. White peaks melt into the green of pine trees, the sight breathtaking. I can almost taste the fresh air. "Where is this?"
The Doctor hums, looking up even as he continues to rub at his right leg. "Hmm, I think this might be the Dolomites mountain range in Italy. I had a particularly interesting adventure there involving a fish, two dogs and a yeti."
I'm struck once again by just how lucky I am to be here. This was a set of experiences that a normal person would never get to have. I turn, smiling at the Doctor. "You know, I don't think I've ever said it properly. But, thank you."
"What?" He looks at me, confused. "You don't have to thank me for letting you fall asleep on my legs."
I shrug, not concerned that he missed the point. It's enough that I know. "I'm having a moment."
"Ah, very important then." The Doctor nods, face falling into serious lines.
I roll my eyes at him. Haha, very funny. "Anyways, how did you get back from France? Rose said something about you breaking through a time window?"
The playfulness that had been lingering behind the Doctor's false serious expression vanishes, leaving the serious expression behind. "Yes, the droids blocked off the time windows so we couldn't go through. The only way to get around that was to break the block, and I happened to have a handy horse."
"Ah, I see. Rose wasn't very happy about that." I tell him, remembering the confrontation last night.
On one hand I get where she's coming from. Things had been heading in one direction for the two of them, then the next thing you know some strange child shows up and derails everything. Time had passed for us, in ways it hadn't happened for her yet. It had been less than 4 months since I'd shown up for Rose Tyler while years had passed for us.
But, while I could understand her side of it, I couldn't understand the things she did because of it. The situation with the Tardis was reasonable, she had no reason to trust me then. My behavior had been incredibly erratic, and I'd only just shown up. This was different though, who took out someone's IV when they had no idea what was inside it? There could have been something important in there.
"Yes, well, we've already had another discussion about that." The Doctor says, a hardness behind his eyes that I was starting to get used to when it came to my well being. Just because I'm used to it, however, doesn't mean I'm okay with it.
I shift, uncomfortable with the conversation. Also, the fact that it deviates so far from what I remember of their relationship and what it should be makes the skin on my back itch. It's like I've carved myself a space in this world with the result of pushing other people out of theirs.
Shaking those thoughts from my head, I focus on the Doctor once more. "So how'd you get back? Through another time window?"
"It's a funny story actually." He tells me, expression lighting up just slightly. "By breaking through the time window, I'd essentially trapped myself there. I wasn't worried, you have enough knowledge that you'd be able to come pick me up in the Tardis, but then Reinnete showed me something." The Doctor scoots over so I can sit down on the couch as well, and I take the invitation. "She's moved her old fireplace to the palace. Moving it had disconnected the connection, so when I broke through and destroyed all the other time windows, that one had stayed open because it hadn't been connected to the system. All I had to do was reconnect it and." He wiggles his fingers. "Tada."
The Doctor hums. "Though I never did find out why they were going after her in the first place.
"I got that one." I say, smirking at his confusion.
"How'd you figure that out?" He asks.
"It was when I tapped into the timelines, trying to figure out when and where we were." Closing my eyes, I remember the images that came with it. "The ship we found ourselves on was called the SS Madame de Pompadour, it's why the clockwork droids wanted her."
Silence is the only response, so I open my eyes to find the Doctor looking at me. His face is soft, fond. And just the slightest bit bittersweet. All of the previous seriousness has been washed away. "Oh Willa. Figuring out the plot, the mysteries." He reaches out and tugs on a lock of my hair. "You're growing up so fast."
I roll my eyes, used to him getting maudlin when it came to talk of me growing up. "I'm 22 Doctor, it's not as if I'm that young anymore."
He raises an eyebrow, looking at me through those timeless eyes of his. "I'm over 900 years old. I'm afraid, dear child, you'll always be young to me."
"Oh joy." I murmur, deadpan. I'm not all that upset about it though. This unconventional family the two of us have here has become everything to me.
The Doctor leans back, a satisfied tilt to his mouth. It's like he knows what I'm thinking. And honestly, he's gotten to know me fairly well over the years so I'm willing to bet he does.
I let the silence hang. Well, at least until my curiosity gets the best of me. "Are you going to tell me what you talked to Rose about?"
"Normally I would say no. The conversation would have been between me and her." He murmurs, directing a pointed look in my direction. "But this was about you, and things that you should expect to change regarding her, so it would be good for you to know what going to happen."
Confused, I frown over at him. "Regarding me?"
The Doctor nods. "Rose had no right to confront you about what happened. It was my choice to do what I did."
"Oh, that." I tilt my head, thinking about it. "I can understand where she's coming from, sort of. You guys seemed to be heading towards one direction and then I show up and everything changes. And with what happened with the whole regeneration thing." Hesitating, I bite my lip. "Well, I told her that me doing what I was doing would save your life, so I can see why she doesn't exactly trust me now." Seeing as he had to regenerate anyways.
"That was also my decision. It wasn't something that she would have had a say in either way." He continues, voice deceptively mild. "If she wants to stay on as a companion, she needs to realize that things have changed now."
I keep quiet, not exactly sure what to say in response to that. It seems that all things have been doing is changing from Rose's point of view.
The Doctor continues, voice becoming less strict. "Oh, and I noticed that you didn't let the Iv run its course. It's not a huge deal, and I know there were extenuating circumstances, but next time you should really wait for it to finish, or for me to be there, before taking it out."
"Oh." I keep my face as still as I can. Rose is already in enough trouble with the Doctor as it is, no need to make it any worse. "Yeah, I'll do that."
He stills, eyes focusing on my expression. "You aren't the one who took the IV out."
Damn. "I didn't say that."
"You didn't not say that." The Doctor murmurs, his whole body tensing. "Don't argue semantics with me." He tilts his head to the side, watching me closely. "Who was it?"
I shake my head, keeping my mouth firmly closed.
"It wasn't you, and Mickey knows full well not to mess with things he doesn't understand. He wouldn't mess with your IV." The Doctor says, though I know he's already figured out who the person to take my IV out was. He's doing this for my benefit, giving me a chance to be upfront with him.
"Mickey scolded her." I admit, not willing to continue the charade. He already knows now. "Rose thought it was something keeping me asleep, so she removed it to talk with me."
Lines form between the Doctor's eyes as he thinks. "You were still looking at the two pieces of time, weren't you?" He continues before I can verify. "And she was so angry that I decided to break through the time window that she took out your IV so she could confront you, thinking that something in the IV was keeping you asleep."
I hum, neither confirming or denying his theory.
The Doctor blinks for the first time since he started this line of questioning, breaking the tension. "Well, this changes things."
"Take it easy on her, she wasn't trying to hurt me. And it was only saline, so it's not as if anything bad would have happened." I mutter, scuffing my foot along the side of the couch.
"And what happens when it is something important, but her temper gets the better of her once again?" The Doctor asks rhetorically.
"I'm not saying that you're wrong. She's shown a lack of impulse control that's starting to border on dangerous. What if the medicine in the IV was keeping me alive instead of just saline?" Looking down at the discarded blanket on the couch, I pick it up and start folding it to have something to do with my hands. And to prevent myself from rubbing at the headache I can feeling forming just behind my eyes. "But Rose Tyler is important. She's going to help save the universe one day."
Looking at me, he purses his lips at whatever he sees on my face before relenting. "She gets one more chance, that's it. One more mark and she's gone." Narrowing his eyes, the Doctor reaches out and as soon as his hand touches the skin of my forehead my headache eases.
The Doctor's other hand immediately comes up, and he shifts until he's cupping both sides of my face. "The barrier should have strengthened itself when I came back into this time zone, you shouldn't be experiencing any slips right now."
I shake my head. "That's something I've known since I first came here. When I ripped down the barrier in the first place I got a glimpse of what might happen, just a glimpse, but it was important."
"Willa." The Doctor tilts my head so I'm looking straight into his eyes. "Just because someone is important doesn't mean that you have to excuse everything they do. Rose doesn't have any right to treat you different because she's jealous of how things changed."
The confirmation of something I knew intellectually, but always wondered about emotionally causes traitorous tears to sting at my eyes. I blink rapidly, trying to pull away, but the Doctor doesn't let me get very far. Instead, he pulls me into a hug.
It's very warm, his hands are so big they almost cover the majority of my back. I feel…well, I feel very loved at the moment.
"I know-" The Doctor hesitates. "I know you didn't have the best home life in the other universe. But caretakers are supposed to do just that, take care of you." His hands tighten on my back and his voice gains a sharp edge. "It's obvious that they missed that point."
I laugh, the sound wet. "And if they had been better caretakers would I have ever met you? Maybe, maybe not, but I'm grateful for how my life turned out. And for where I'm at right now, even with the danger it involves."
The Doctor clears his throat, the sound also a little wet. "You keep throwing out things like that and I'll end up regenerating again."
Rolling my eyes, I pull back. "You just had to ruin the moment, didn't you?"
"Hey! I can't help it that super mushy stuff makes my hearts skip a beat." He responds. I tactfully don't mention the way he wipes at his face, pretending instead to look out at the mountains around us.
"Keep telling yourself that." I tease him, sending an impish smile his way once I'm sure he's finished.
The Doctor shakes his head. "You are such a brat. What have I been doing wrong these last five years?"
I hum, tapping a finger against my lips as I pretend to think about it. "Well, I'd hazard a guess that you were encouraging me to branch out and make connections, while focusing on my interests."
"Ah." He murmurs, lips twitching like he's biting back a smile. "That would explain it."
"As much as I'd like to stay out here for a little while longer." I murmur, breaking the easy mood that's fallen around us. "The Tardis has been trying to get our attention."
The Doctor peers over the edge of the couch, taking in the flashing light by the door with a sigh. "That's the downfall to having companions, they always want something."
Biting back a laugh at the put upon tone in his voice, I send him a look. "They probably want to go somewhere, we have been in here for a while."
"And I already told you that we aren't going to be going anywhere today." He responds without missing a beat, getting up from the couch and starting to walk to the door.
"Yes, I'm aware of that." I tell him, voice a dry as the desert. "That doesn't mean that you three can't go somewhere while I stay here."
The Doctor pauses turning to look at me. "No." The words come out slow, like he's thinking very hard about something. "No, I think it would best for me to stay here for the day."
I blink at him, taken aback. "I'm okay now. You don't have to stay here for me."
"Oh Willa." He looks at me, seeing through my lie effectively. But, thankfully, he doesn't call me out on it. "Humor me. It's been a while since we've had a day to ourselves. Maybe I just want to spend some time with you."
Ducking my head down below the couch to hide my pleased flush, I smile. It's a secret little thing, but undeniably there. And undeniably real. Once I get my face under control, I peer over the couch at the Doctor who's been patiently waiting for me to reappear. "Yeah, okay, I'd like that."
The Doctor smiles. "I just need to take care of some stuff before hand, and then I'm all yours for the day."
I nod to show I heard him, and then he's gone. Out the door and off to wherever he's going.
The Tardis hums, the sound falling around my shoulders in her closest approximation of a hug. I smile up at the ceiling. "I'm fine, really."
A burble is all I get in reply, the sound skeptical.
"No really, I am." I argue, starting to get a little frustrated. Honestly, I'd rather just put all this behind me and not have to think about it anymore.
The Tardis makes an electronic noise this time, and it comes across as very neutral. Narrowing my eyes at her, and her disbelief, I make the decision to ignore it. So, I get up from my sprawl on the couch and leave the room with no certain destination in mind.
xxxx
At first it was just the murmur of voices that caught my attention. I didn't want to be alone so I headed in that direction. Unfortunately, I end up walking right into a conversation that I really didn't want to be a part of.
"-But I just don't understand!" Rose's voice becomes audible as it hits shrill levels.
Shit, I don't want to hear any of this. Turning around on the spot to retreat, I find myself facing a wall where the hallway had been.
I send a truly desperate look to the ceiling but the Tardis stays silent and the wall stays put. There is a shift in the hallway though and suddenly I can hear them both as if they are right next to me.
"-don't have to understand." The Doctor states, voice strict. "The only thing you have to do is accept it."
Rose takes a deep breath, blowing it out immediately. "Okay, let me rephrase. A girl literally appears out of nowhere and just so happens to be a member of your race, a race I might add that had been wiped out. Oh and she can also see the future. How does any of that make any sort of sense?!"
"If you don't think I ran extensive tests before I accepted what was before my eyes than you don't know me very well Rose Tyler." The Doctor responds. His voice whips across the room like a blade, all sharp edges and disdain.
There is a shift of fabric. I wonder what Rose is doing. "Sorry, Sorry, but I had to bring it up. Don't you think it's a little suspicious that she showed up and suddenly the man who hated any type of domestics becomes a man who doesn't mind domestic moments with said girl."
"No." The Doctor tells her. "I don't think it's suspicious at all. I think it's a quirk of biology that's natural for me."
Rose makes a small noise of frustration. "Doctor you aren't listening to me."
"I'm listening to you just fine, it's you who's not listening to me." The Doctor responds.
There is a shift of cloth again, then footsteps. "I'm going to tell you this right now Rose Tyler, and for your sake I hope you listen to me properly this time. Despite anything that might have once been between us, and make no mistake there isn't anything now. Willa is my child and that means she comes first."
"But why?" Rose asks plaintively, you can hear how brave she is trying to be. "Did I do something wrong?"
The Doctor sighs. "No Rose, it wasn't something you did. It was my decision." There is a pause. "When I first met you I was borderline suicidal. I wasn't actively trying to kill myself but I was taking stupid risks with little to no thought for my own life. My people were gone, I was the last, and I just didn't see a reason to care anymore."
"And then I met you, a girl who kept asking questions." The Doctor continues, voice warming for the first time in this conversation. "You kept me on my toes and I started to find that I was taking less stupid risks. I started to think about my life as something to be lived once again."
Rose sniffles. "I don't understand why you are telling me this."
"I'm telling you this so you understand." He murmurs. "You taught me how to live for something and I will always be grateful for that. But Willa taught me to hope again and that is infinitely more precious."
"And we're back to her." Rose mutters, voice bitter.
The Doctor's voice hardens once more. "Yes, we are back to her. Willa is my child whether you like it or not. The only thing this continued hostility of yours is doing is making it more likely for you to get left back at home with your mother."
"I just don't-" Her voice breaks. "I just don't understand why you took to her so quickly and pushed me away."
"Like I said before, you don't have to understand it. You just have to accept it." The Doctor's voice drops a register, almost glacial now. "And if you ever endanger Willa's life again, it's over. You don't get another chance."
"What? What are you talking about?" Rose asks, bewildered.
"Willa was in the medbay and you were so upset that you had to confront her then and there. Even took out her IV." He elaborates.
Rose sighs in relief. "It was only saline in the IV, it wasn't a big deal."
"And did you know it was saline?" The Doctor asks. There is silence. "That IV could have been keeping her alive. That's not acceptable, do you understand me?"
She doesn't say anything.
"Rose Tyler, do you understand what I'm saying to you?" He reiterates.
Rose sniffles, her words coming out wet. "Yeah, I understand."
The world around me shivers, and suddenly I'm in my room instead of the hallway I had been in. Whatever the Tardis did to make it so I could hear their voices is gone. Thankfully.
I pull in a shaky breath, clutching at my chest where my hearts are pounding. "Why did you make me listen to that?"
The Tardis doesn't reply.
Though to be honest I hadn't expected her to. She always did have a tendency to meddle, but that was a breech of privacy that I hadn't expected her to cross.
Though I can't help but feel grateful, because at least it verified where I stand now. And hearing the Doctor calling me his child…it hurt but in a good way. I mean we had done it for disguises before. It's not like that part was new, but this was at home. In a space where he had no reason to fudge the truth. I knew he cared for me, that much was certain. But he called me his child in front of Rose. And I certainly thought of him as a parental figure.
A feeling a warmth fills my chest.
There is a part of me that still wants to be suspicious. All of the other parental figures I've had in my life have let me down in one way or another. What was the Doctor's limit, how far could I go before he snapped and started to act like them?
But my heart wanted to believe that things wouldn't change. And logic demanded that I take into consideration that fact that I'd lived with this man for over five years now and he hadn't changed yet.
Yes, the Doctor got mad when I put myself in danger. But he also understood extenuating circumstances. And he taught me things without getting mad when I didn't pick them up on the first try. We went on educational trips where he encouraged me to make my own decisions.
No, I decided abruptly. The Doctor was never going to be like my old parental figures. But then again, I already knew this. This whole situation was bringing up old insecurities. Things I thought I'd gotten over years ago. Looks like they weren't as gone as I thought they were.
I shake off my previous thoughts like a dog would shake off water. Now wasn't the time to be thinking of these things. As the Doctor would say, now was the time to enjoy the moment.
Humming, I throw on a pair of ratty clothes, something that could get dirty and I wouldn't care. Then I pull my hair up into a ponytail before leaving my room to go in search of something to do. Maybe the Doctor is in the mood to do some maintenance on the Tardis?
Either way I don't get very far. I'm only a few feet from my room when I hear the very man I was thinking about call my name.
I turn to face him, a smile on my face. "Hey Doctor."
He smiles back at me, getting close before reaching out and ruffling my hair, completely destroying my ponytail in the process.
Disgruntled, I pout up at him through my mass of hair. "Why do you always go for the hair?"
"Because it annoys you." He replies, cheeky. There are no shadows behind his eyes. He doesn't look upset at all, in fact he looks like someone who really had just gone to do some chores.
"So, what's on the agenda today?" I ask, deciding to let things lie. It was none of my business in the first place, despite what the Tardis might have thought.
The Doctor hums. "I don't know, what would you want to do?"
I shrug. "I'm not picky right now." Sending him a look full of good humor, I tease him. "Besides, you probably already have a list of activities ready."
"It's a flexible list." He argues, the tips of his ears going the faintest bit red.
"I figured." I tell him, smiling, even as I reach out to grab his hand. "Lead on then."
The Doctor squeezes my hand before leading me down the hall by it. He does indeed have a whole list of things for us to do, though we only get to a couple of those things. It's a nice day though. Reminds me of what we used to do before.
"We should make this something we do at least once a week." I tell him, pulling my hands back from the wiring in front of me.
"What?" The Doctor asks from where's he's sitting.
I slither out from underneath the grating and wipe my hands off on a rag that's already fairly dirty. "We should do this at least once a week if we can."
He frowns at me in confusion. "Tardis maintenance?"
"Well, yes, if she needs it. But I mean we should take a day just for the two of us to do something." I tilt my head, a thought crossing my mind. "Situation permitting, of course."
"No companions?" The Doctor verifies. I nod, and he hums. "Yes, I'd like that. Good idea Willa."
I make a face at him, just to break the mood. This day has been far more emotion filled than I like my days to be and I'm kind of at my limit.
Maybe he realizes that, because all I get in response is him rolling his eyes at me.
"C'mon." He urges me. "Up."
Getting to my feet, I frown at him in confusion. "Where are we going now?"
"Food Willa." He reminds me. "It's dinner time."
Oh, that would make sense.
And so we walk down the halls until we reach the kitchen, where the Doctor breaks out an apron that says. 'Trust me, I'm the Doctor,' and proceeds to make me a full English breakfast. It's night time, but I don't argue.
All in all, this day was a good day.
Moglefrog – Aww, you're going to make me blush over here! I'm glad you like the fic so much, and the Doctor and Willa's relationship. This chapter was full of fluff, and hard conversations, but mostly fluff so I hope that is enough to fulfill your request.
Almadynis Rayne – Hey there sweetheart! Thank you for the review. There is more floof in this chapter, so enjoy!
Cashagon – Hello Cashagon! I've made a couple of hints to it in previous chapters, but Willa didn't have a very good home life. In fact, she lived on the streets for a while before cleaning herself off and going to school. I do have thoughts about writing a side story that details her life before the Doctor, but that's a while away from being posted.
AzureTheVampire – Hello Azure! I'm very happy that you like this fic. And it's awesome to find another person who loves Dad!Doctor as much as I do. There is a lot more of that in this chapter, so enjoy!
