Welcome back sexual sandwiches.

Hybrid Genesis: That would actually be telling. Mostly because I may or may not be going in certain directions with this story. So hold out for the long haul and you'll be a happy little caterpillar.

Pheonix Paladin: Henry was a giant bitch at the start. It'd be weird for me to change him abruptly without dedicating a huge chunk of time to an altered background.

MythAnime: Patience my dear, patience is all I ask.

Feel free to add more word-things that I can read. I do so enjoy it. I apologise again for my general lack of activity recently. I've just been more interested with games than Fanfic. This one should have at least a half decent update rate. Mostly because I'm on a Digimon kick atm.

Start!

"...And that's why you gotta tell me when you're hungry instead of just chewing on my bed sheets, Tokomon." Groused Menma as a chubby little pink creature with wispy ears looked down in shame, spitting out another chunk of cloth. Menma sighed and pat the creatures head, "Just... think before you act from now on, okay?"

"Yeah dumbass, don't eat the bosses stuff!" Snapped Shu, thwacking the pink creature on the head with one of his wing.

"Now now, Shu. Don't beat the baby." Scolded the youth as Tsumemon tapped each of its many clawed feet on the counter, a single eye closed as it tap danced around like a happy fool. "Tsumemon, please don't damage the counter." The little tap dancing spider-creature stopped and went flat on the counter, in some faux sitting position. Eye still curved into a smile.

"Alright, today we're going to the park. Thankfully I don't have work. C'mon, in ya go." He ordered, holding out the Digivice, Shu was sucked in, Tsumemon hopped from the counter into his arms and then into the mutated phone, he offered the Digivice to Tokomon who opened its mouth, "No, not for eating. C'mon jump into it." Menma shook his head as Tokomon inched towards his hand with its mouth open, he bopped the creature on the forehead with his index finger and the pink blob gave up and transferred its data back into the Digivice.

Yet another wonderful upside of Shu mutating his phone into a malformed Digivice. Menma tucked it into his pocket and put on his jacket, grabbed his wallet and keys, making sure to lock up the house after him and leaving for greener pastures.

Shinjuku Park

Menma looked around spying a figure he'd not seen in the park before, granted he'd only recently started coming so that didn't mean much. A young man in a blue hoodie with tan coloured jean-shorts, light brown hair and... goggles? Why?

He had with him a red dinosaur with wing-shaped ears, black markings across its body and a white underbelly. He tucked his hands into his pockets, and walked towards them, "Guilmon you gotta stay here while I'm at school okay? I can't keep having you walking around the city without me, it's too dangerous." Pleaded the young man, preach brother. Shu was a nightmare to control when he only had his DemiDevimon state. Rebellious teenage phase really. Still rustled his jimmies though.

"Okay Takatomon, I'll stay here... but how long will it be until you're back so we can play?" Asked the creature, the voice was quite cute he'd admit that much. Obviously it was a newborn, even in its Rookie state, so that naivete could be easily forgiven.

"Aren't you just the cutest little thing." Menma said with a smile on his face, the boy, Takato whipped around, trying to block Guilmon from sight, "Steady on young fella. I'm not here to take your little friend away. We share something in common at least." Menma held up his Digivice Takato gulped at the sight of it, it was his first time seeing someone elses Digivice, but it looked more like a malformed phone than anything. Instead of the smaller, palm-sized device, this was one easily the size of a large phone with a thick black casing around it, and a red symbol pulsing as a 'screen saver'.

"What's your name little dude?" Menma asked, tucking his Digivice back into his pocket and taking another step forward, offering his hand, the boy gulped at the way this older boy seemed to just... glide, with each step.

"T-Takato Matsuki... this is uh, Guilmon. Where's yours?" Asked the boy taking the older males hand. Menma fished his phone back out.

"Nice to meet you both, I'm Menma Uzumaki." Greeted the youth with a nod.

"Menmamon?" Asked Guilmon, tapping its chin with its clawed finger.

"Just Menma." Informed the black haired man, Guilmon looked puzzled, so Menma decided to break this little trend in its infancy. "See Guilmon, unlike Digimon humans do not have 'mon at the end of their names, we actually have two names."

"Two?" Asked a startled red reptilian with wide eyes, hanging on every word the young man said. Menma grinned and nodded, the childish nature did appeal to his paternal instincts.

"Yep. The name your parents give you, and the name of your family. So you can call me, Menma. Or Uzumaki. Though I'd prefer if you called me Menma, give it a try. Without the 'mon."

"Menmamo-...Menma. It's strange." Said the reptile with a perplexed look.

"I understand that Guilmon but believe me it'll save you some grief in the long run. Is that all cleared up though?"

"I think so... humans have two names... but you talk to them with one?" Guilmon queried.

"That's correct."

"Okay..." He honestly sounded a little disappointed.

"I've been trying to tell him that for days." Takato freely admitted with a sigh, "Who would of thought it'd be that easy."

"Sometimes all it takes is to rephrase things. Don't worry about it. Anyway, Guilmon would you like to meet my Digimon?" Guilmon tilted his head before relisation spread on his face and he nodded. Menma tapped a few promts on his Digivice and commanded them out, Tokomon, Tsumemon and DemiDevimon all appeared at his feet.

Guilmon's eyes went red and his nostrils flared, smoke rising from them, "How new is this thing? Going feral at the sight of other Digimon." Red fire crackled in Guilmon's maw with the announcement of 'Pyro Sphere' and just such a thing was shot from the creatures mouth, a red sphere of flames rocketed towards the gathered Digimon and human behind them.

Shu Digivolved into Devimon rapidly and bat the orb away with the back of his long, clawed hand. "Control your beast, if it harms my Master I will delete it." Takato felt his skin crawl as the demon spoke.

Later

After the awkward little confrontation with Shu, Takato took Guilmon around the park to get him acquainted with the area. Menma activated 'Function Call' and summoned up a few Digimon.

A Goblimon, a Hagurumon and a rather grumpy looking Elecmon. Shu sat in the trees watching over them. Goblimon growled lowly as it lunged towards Tokomon, Tsumemon crawled around the green goblin monster and leapt onto its back, Goblimon span mid-stride, only to immediately stumble as it took a few exploding 'Bubbles', and by 'exploding' I mean fucking exploding.

Each bubble had enough punch to go through a brick wall, and they popped right in Goblimon's face, then Tsumemon jumped off and launched it's own assault, a small-scale Destruction that almost all Virus Type Digimon could learn through his Digivice.

Anyway, the Goblimon was reduced to mere Data, Tsumemon and Tokomon loaded the Data and had to move quickly to avoid a 'Nanomachine Break' from Hagurumon, a flux of electricity in the air between them, Tsume' went left and Toko' went right. The little pink blob fired off another chain of Bubbles right back at the metal, clockwork looking cogs.

That's what Hagurumon is.

Cogs.

Fucking cogs.

The Bubbles struck Hagurumon, but it shook them off and fired off another Nanomachine Break Tokomon barely managed to shake his bacon outta the way and ended up arse over head, Menma would have chuckled if this wasn't technically a life or death situation. Tsumemon was there to cover though, rushing in like a crackhead spider and launching a more concentrated Destruction at Hagurumon, the pile of floating cogs reeled, so Tsumemon pressed further, lunging head first into the creature with glowing claws spinning like a top Tsumemon hit Haguru' with another basic move, a Heavy Strike explanation's on the tin in this case.

"Tokomon!" Called out Tsume', Toko' righted himself and nodded, rushing forward with a mouthful of super-charged Bubbles intent on releasing them point blank.

Though it appeared they neglected Elecmon long enough, the red creature with long ears and a fan-like tail sparked angrily and then hit both In-Training Digimon with a Heavenly Thunder two orbs of electricity formed in the air and shot a connecting beam right through the two little creatures.

Menma opened up another menu in the Digivice and administered a Health Capsule-C, though he felt his own source of invigoration, a rush if you would. "Tokomon get your pink little ass up and kick the shit out of that cheeky cunt!" Ordered Menma as he held up a clenched fist and grinned, Tokomon looked at the previously calm and quiet tamer before grinning as well.

Being shrouded in a flash of light it revealed a Patamon. "Is enthusiasm so powerful?!" Thought Menma as the winged, chubby creature released a compressed burst of air, an Air Shot as it were. "I will use this power for evil."

That exactly what it was. The Air Shot tore through the distance between the two Digimon and struck Elecmon right in the face, sending it tumbling, Tsumemon rushed in on Hagurumon once more with a Heavy Strike and made the mechanical Digimon stumble and then it was finished off with another Air Shot.

Data filled the duo of Digimon. Tsumemon followed behind Patamon and Digivolved, what emerged was a charcoal skinned Agumon, with dusky blue eyes and ivory white claws. A Black Agumon. The creature turned its sights onto the charging Elecmon and released a quiet snarl, purple flames gathered in its maw and Agumon released a Spitfire Blast directly into Elecmon's face.

"Names... names... Sol and... we'll see where Patamon goes from here. Probably better not to tell them I've named them until we get more details on their potential jiggly bits. Angemon? I think not. This is a tig ol' bitty house, Angewoman thank you much good sir." There was probably some deep psychological reason he was so invested in porking an Angel monster and a fox-woman.

"That sounds a lot worse when I really think about it. I should stop thinking about it." Menma tapped his chin whilst his new Rookie's loaded Elecmon's data. Little pings popped onto his Digivice's screen, alerting him that the area was clear and a vague progress meter on his Digimon's general strength.

"Well done. We'll break for lunch, you guys are probably hungry after Digivolving." Patamon almost cried and glomped his face at the declaration of food. "This is how you spend your weekends, Menma. How does that make you feel?"

Pretty good thanks for askin' bruh.

Obligatory Lunch

"Diamond Storm!"

Sorry what?

Menma threw himself over the two Rookie's on reflex and in turn Shu shielded him with his wings, before batting the slew of crystalline murder that was aimed at the feasting crew. Renamon landed to see something she didn't expect, a young adult male shielding the pair of Digimon she'd been instructed to attack, and a Devimon protecting him.

And now the Devimon picked the man up and was shaking him like a ragdoll, "Master it is unacceptable for you to endanger yourself like that!? What if you had been hurt? What if I was not fast enough, never again do you understand!?" Rattled off Shu as bright red eyes burning intensely.

Menma was coming off an impromptu adrenaline high, eyes unfocused before gold tuned back into the world, "I just jumped in front of... holy shit I could have died!"

"I am aware!" Shot back Shu with a growl.

"No I mean like actually died holy fucking christ, Shu! I'm so sorry, Patamon, Agumon are you alright-Why did I DO THAT!?"

So on and so forth.

"What a drama queen." Muttered the voice of a morose redhead sporting a pair of sunglasses, and primarily white t-shirt with a broken heart over the chest and blue sleeves, blue denim jean-shorts and red sneakers. "How does he have three Digimon, one being a Champion and I've only got you, Renamon?" Questioned the girl.

"I'm not quite sure Rika. Though I have seen this young man around the park before... with a DemiDevimon. It would seem it grew up quickly." Informed Renamon, the tall, bipedal, yellow fox with white chest fur, purple elbow gloves, each bearing yin-yang symbols. Bright blue eyes and dark rings around them, like faux eyeliner.

"Shu."

"Yes Master?"

"You can put me down now, I've had my moment." Assured the young man, Shu did just that and his Master took a moment to collect himself and soothe his hammering heart. "I think I'm going to have a heart attack... or a midlife crisis, I've just become acutely aware of my own mortality."

"I can protect you Master, refrain from recklessness as that though. Patamon and Agumon are more than capable of shrugging such an assault off, you are not." Swore the demon.

"I'll keep that in mind."

"Are they ignoring us?" Was the baffled musing of the redhead.

"It would seem so, Rika."

"Walk all over them, Renamon." Ordered the girl.

The fox was hesitant to accept this order, mostly because of how outnumbered she was, but also because this was an order based on a mildly bruised pride. A pride she didn't exactly care for in her Tamer.

That was a laughable thought to begin with. This girl was nothing but barbs and cold shoulders. All because she couldn't Digivolve to her Champion state yet. One fight ever week or so isn't exactly the best way to grow. She would have to find out how this man and his Devimon grew so quickly.

End.

If you liked it, lemme know. If you didn't like it, tell me. If you're exhuberiant megacunt who writes nothing but dribble and spews so much shit even Tumblr barely equals out, stop being fairy tail dragon slayer.

Oh shots fucking fired.

See you guys next time :D

Raxychaz!