Dear Tenzin
he flipped the paper over
I know you don't care about me anymore, nobody does, but I need to get some things off my chest.
I am alone now, truly alone, everyone left me, even my bending.I want to tell you I am sorry. I am sorry that I couldn't keep our relationship going,
I am sorry that I couldn't protect you enough, I am sorry that my mother defined my life,
I am sorry I didn't want to bear you any children, I am sorry I didn't tell you everything.
I haven't told you that I had a miscarriage, I was too afraid to tell you, I didn't want that to happen again, ever.
I haven't told you that after we broke up I cried myself to sleep every night for three years straight because you weren't with me,
that everytime I enter my flat my heart still hurts because no one is in there.
Everytime I see you and your children I think of what could have been but will never be and I see how happy you are without me,
I don't like to think of it that way, though it's true: That you are happy because you are without me.
I for my part am not happy without you, I will never be, I'm miserable, the only thing i had was my job,
protecting the city, but mainly you and your family, it was my way to express my love, it calmed me to know you are safe because of me, but that is gone for good.
I am sorry that I'm angry, I'm angry at you for letting me go, angry at the world because it brought me in this situation,
but more than anything I'm angry at myself, because I'm a coward, because I hate you, because I love you,
because I didn't see you never loved me, even after 20 years this took me by surprise
and because I didn't realize I never deserved you.
I deserve nobody and nobody loves me, nobody likes me, nobody even cares.
Mom would hate me if she knew I lost my bending, Su already hates me.
Katara hates me too apparently, she didn't say a single word to me since we came here and we haven't met for nine years, didn't even greet me.
Every word spoken to me since I lost my bending was out of courtesy, from your children, from you, from Pema, even the Avatar and her companions, I feel like a used tissue paper
that is discarded after it isn't useful anymore.
The only people I can think of that really loved me are dead, Aang is dead and Sokka is dead.
I hate to say it but keeping you safe, keeping your family safe, was the sole purpose of my miserable existence.
I know you are a very gentle and sweet man, if you don't care about me, why should I expect anyone else to.
I'm sorry that our relationship wasn't worth continuing, it probably was nothing but a nuisance to you.
I'm sorry I was too much of a coward to talk about our problems.
I love you
I want it to end
Lin
He dried away his tears, he couldn't believe what he just read, though it was unmistakably Lin's handwriting.
Does she really believe that he didn't love her, that he doesn't love her, or that the most joyful years he ever spent were a nuisance to him.
Until this moment Tenzin had not realized how much he hurt Lin with the breakup, she apparently thought she was responsible for everything that led to their breakup,
that she isn't worth being loved.
He also couldn't believe she thought he was happy without her, he hasn't been truly happy for 15 long years, Pema is, even though very lovely, not very interesting to be around,
he wasn't laughing with her, wasn't joking, they didn't discuss books they read, like Lin and he used to, all he and Pema have in common are their children, they are funny and
he loves them, but it's not the same.
This was also the first time Tenzin heard of a miscarriage, his gut wrenched at the thought of it.
Maybe if we could have talked about it, I could have convinced her to try again.
Tears welled again in his eyes, as this was the sole reason he broke up with her. After Aang died members of the white lotus came to him pleading to search for a wife that would bear
him children, at least they were pleading at first, they started to claim he wanted his fathers legacy to die, that he was unworthy, selfish and greedy, that he didn't care about
anyone but himself. At first they came every month then every second week, finally they came every day accusing him, insulting him even threatening him and Lin, he didn't tell her,
he didn't want her to worry about it, though in the end he couldn't bear it anymore, to him it sounded like they would rather kill Lin than stand him being together with her.
It was shocking for Tenzin that she thought nobody cares for her, everyone cares for her, though most are reluctant to show it since Pema usually hangs on him like a leech and
nobody want's her to feel out of place as she doesn't have the same friends the same family as he and Lin have.
And because Tenzin himself asked his family to ignore her while he was around, it was not one of his proudest requests, but he couldn't bear it, every memory, every picture, real or just in thought needed to be removed
or else Tenzin wouldn't have been able to live his farce of a lovely marriage.
Lin on the other hand kept social contact on a minimum since they went their separate ways, she drowned herself in work and she had more contact with her friends in the last month than all 15 years before
that, with the exception of Sokka's funeral. Nearly everytime she was with her friends, her family, Pema was present as was Tenzin.
He read the letter again and stopped right at the end
'I want it to end'
What does she mean by that?
Does she want to dissappear like her mother or Sister?
Tenzin decided whatever it is, he should convince her otherwise,
he went to the living room asking if anyone had seen her.
"Oh Chief Beifong, she came in when Korra left the house and went to the hallway where you came from, then she went out again." Bolin told him casually
"Where did she go? Did she say anything?"
"No, she just left" He was no useful source of information.
Tenzin took his staff and was storming outside looking for tracks, it was easy to see where Korra went, she has feet that could rival Avatar Kyoshi's, Lin's were trickier to spot.
A bit away from the trampled down snow in front of the house, he could perceive tracks made by a slender pair of feet, he decided to follow them taking large steps
as to reach her before she gets on a boat or airship, about an hour he walked without ever seeing anything from her, except her tracks.
He still went on, her tracks were fresh, it was snowing lightly but her tracks were not filled or blown away, she couldn't be more than twenty minutes ahead.
He finally reached a ledge the glacier formed, it was about thirty metres high, the tracks went up it's back, he followed.
Nothing, there was absolutely nothing, the tracks ended and he could see nothing but that, there was no airship in the distance or skybison for that matter, no satomobile, no animal
no sound, just silence. He placed his feet in the last pair of tracks he could see pointing towards the abyss, he screamed an angry and hurt yell wich filled the air.
Just as he looked down in defeat something caught his eye, a heap of black and grey lay on the foot of the abyss he was standing on.
The blood in his veins froze, without a second thought he leapt after, only remembering at the very last moment to slow his fall with airbending.
He bent over her, she lay in an awkward position, on her back with one foot beneath her and the other one sticking out, her lower leg bending at an odd angle in the middle.
"Lin! Lin! It's me Tenzin!" He took her head between both hands
"Please wake up! Please!" rocking her head, he started to sob,
he continued to plead with her while bringing his forehead to hers
"I love you Lin please don't leave me I need you"
She didn't budge, but Tenzin could feel her heart beating, realizing he needed to be fast, he swooped her off the ground trying not to damage her legs any further,
lifted her on his back with both her arms over his shoulders, then he bound her hands with a piece of cloth he tore from his robes and used a longer cloth to fix her at his waist.
He flew away with his glider, Lin on his back, the takeoff wasn't really gracefull as was the flight but it did suffice, though it used much of his strengh and concentration.
He landed a few feet away from the house, removed the binds on Lin's hands and waist and took her in his arms bridal style, she looked beautiful, her hair flowing down over his shoulder and arm,
the sun that shone through the clouds reflected upon her alabaster skin and her face was in a very serene expression, Tenzin on the other hand, had most certainly never looked worse
he was sobbing unconrollably, he looked at least twenty years older, his lips quivering and tears running down his face at an alarming rate.
He took heavy steps, trying with all his might not to lose his grip on Lin's unconscious body, he entered the house past the antechamber into the livingroom, no one was there, so
he continued to the kitchen.
When Katara heard his sons steps she stopped stirring the five-flavor soup she was preparing, but only when she heard his sobs she turned around to see what was wrong.
Katara hadn't heard her Son cry since her brother died, it couldn't mean something good.
She couldn't believe her eyes, Lin lay in her sons arms apparently unconscious, with a quite obviously broken leg, her limbs hanging limp from her shoulders and knees.
It was shocking to see her like that, Lin is like a second daughter to Katara, she could never understand how her son could let such a nice person go choosing Pema in her stead.
After the first few seconds of shock Katara was suddenly as fit as her twenty year old self.
"Get her in the bathtub! fast!"
