CHAPTER FOUR

"These are my words that I've never said before: I think I'm doing okay."

-Staind: "So Far away"

It was a spring morning. The air was taught and crisp and bright, one of the first warmer days after the breaking of winter. Thorin was taking advantage of this, taking both Fili and Kili out for training. This duty would usually fall onto Dwalin or Ma, but since Thorin had made time that day, they would be going out with him. "Has Dis taught you how to shoot?" Thorin asked as they passed out of the mouth of the cave, to the training fields that spread out beyond the gate.

Fili nodded, while Kili shook his head. Thorin saw this and a slight frown danced over his lips. They reached a low shed, and Thorin unlocked it with a large skeleton key. The door swung open, the smell of must pouring out. Thorin stepped into the darkness and returned a few moments later with a sword wrapped in an oilcloth and a short bow and quiver of arrows slung over his shoulder. He handed the sword down to Fili and pointed towards the sand ring. "Go practice the patterns I taught you last month."

He groaned, taking the sword from Thorin. "I hate patterns."

A smile touched Thorin's lips, and his tone softened. "Aye, I know you do." Fili looked at him hopefully, but Thorin merely slapped him on the shoulder. "Go on anyway."

Fili huffed but trotted off towards the ring, and Thorin turned his attention to Kili. "Have you seen anyone shoot?"

Kili shook his head. "No. Ma's restrung hers in the house, I think, and I saw that."

Thorin nodded. "Aye, that sounds right. I don't like to use them."

Kili followed at Thorin started towards a range beyond Fili's fenced-in area. "Then why do I have to learn how to use it?" Kili asked, frowning.

"It's an important skill," Thorin explained. "They are necessary for hunting, and can be an important part of battle."

Kili critically eyed up what looked to him to be a branch, a string and sharpened twigs. "Really?"

"Really," Thorin sighed as he set down the case of arrows against a stone, taking the bow in front of him. "Now, it's important that you watch me, Kili—"

His eyes found the sun, only just rising up over the distant peaks of the SoutherBlue Mountains. It would be a few hours until lunchtime. A few hours of this. He wished suddenly to be anywhere else. Playing with Gimli, sleeping, even reading under the watch of Balin. Anything but—

A sharp smack to the back of his head took his attention, and he looked up to see Thorin glowering at him. "Are you paying attention, Kili?"

"Yes," Kili grumbled, reluctantly listening to his uncle again.

"As I was saying," Thorin said pointedly. "This is a dangerous weapon, even if it doesn't look as wicked as a sword." Kili nodded dutifully, really trying not to lose focus. "It sounds more complicated to shoot than it is, so I'll just demonstrate. Watch carefully," he warned.

"Aye, Uncle," Kili said, trying to keep his eyes on Thorin. Lessons were so, so dreadfully boring.

Thorin paused for a moment, making sure he had Kili's attention before he drew an arrow from the case. He angled himself sideways, facing Kili, his face pointing to a pile of hay sacks piled up a few hundred yards away. They were worn down and weathered from a lack of use or maintenance. This was so, entirely not interesting. Thorin settled his hands and arms into position on the bow, holding the arrow against the string, and drawing it back to his ear. "Examine the stance." Kili nodded, trying not to roll his eyes. "Kili—"

"I examined it!" Kili protested, his frustrated tone matching his uncle's. "Just shoot."

Thorin's jaw tightened in irritation, and in a moment, the arrow was flying down the field, sinking itself into the hay. It was all so painfully simple. Kili's eyes fell back onto the sun. Lunch couldn't come soon enough. Suddenly, the bow was roughly shoved into his hands. Kili looked up to see Thorin's lips set in a frustrated line, his eyes alight with irritation. "If you're not going to listen, I'm going to someone who will. Call me back when you can hit the target." With that, Thorin was marching off, dark as a storm.

Kili let out a huff, something stinging in his gut. Why was Thorin so angry? Kili had been listening. He didn't deserve getting shouted at.

He looked down at the piece of hewn wood in his hand. Shooting. It was simple, aye? His Ma did it. He was a natural at swords, axes, and knives, why would this trip him up?

An hour later, Kili had decided that perhaps it was tripping him up. It had taken fifty tries just to get the arrow set on the string, and even then, he couldn't get the leverage he needed to draw the string properly. His elbows were swaying and getting in the way of his eyes, but he refused to admit that he should have looked at Thorin's stance more closely. He would figure this out.

The adrenaline pumping through his veins kept him from feeling the way his arms trembled and burned and his fingertips bled. The sun beat down on him, and he had to tie back his hair, but there wasn't a force in Ered Luin that could move him from that starting line. He was going to figure this out. Kili's mother was always calling him stubborn, but Kili was unsure that that was the right word for it. More so, he just refused to let something as silly as a bow show him up. He would win.

Kili barely acknowledged as Fili came to tell him that it was lunch. The sun was hot and he was sweating but he had finally managed to get the arrow to fly a few feet ahead of him. Fili brought him water. He didn't stop to drink.

The sun was hazy, the air hot, but the breeze kept his blood pumping. Every tiny success fueled him. He was getting closer with every shot. His runs to go fetch his fallen arrows grew more clumsy as he became almost feverish with adrenaline. He was winning. He barely breathed as one of his arrows fell only two feet to the right of his target. He let his muscles take over, burning as they moved through the motions he had just seared into them. His breath swelling in his chest gave him strength, and he drew back the arrow. His eyes momentarily struggled to focus, but the moment the image crystalized, and the air fell dead silent in anticipation, his bloodied fingers let the arrow spin away. It arched through the space with reckless abandon, and Kili held his breath until it sunk itself only inches away from Thorin's lone arrow, into the hay.

He would have dropped the bow had his swollen knuckles allowed him, and he turned around, his voice hoarse as he called out, "Thorin!"

No response came. He saw then that it was almost sunset, growing dark already. The air was cooling and Kili collapsed onto his knees, the bow falling neatly onto his lap.

He loved it. He loved the way it made his blood burn, the fire it lit inside him. He—they had won.


Kili woke in a cold sweat, his heart pounding. The only sound was the breathing of other dwarves and the faint howling of wind over stone. He laid back down, catching his breath. That was an odd dream. It bordered on being a memory, but it was more vivid than he ever could have recalled. His heart was pounding at the mere recollection of that day.

He found himself rolling over, to where Gwen slept, a few feet away, on his left.

She slept unmovingly, her breath faintly disturbing the stillness of her blankets. Peaceful.

He always had loved a challenge.


The days passed by in almost bland regularity. They would wake to warm and finish the last night's food, walk in silence until they had woken up all the way. The wave of cheered, bantering conversation would grow stronger, and by their midday rest, they would be sparring and laughing, as they drank deeply of whatever water they could find. They would come out of their midday break feeling refreshed, but as the day grew later, and the sky darker, the conversation would ebb, like a river's flow. Dinner was a less energetic affair than their midday break, but they ate happily, always hungry. They'd go to sleep, feet aching, dreading and anticipating the next day's trek.

Kili found himself a few times a day wishing that they had not lost their ponies. Still, they made good speed. Thorin predicted that they would be out of the mountains in a week or less. Gwen doubted this, but would never voice that out loud.

While lacking in excitement, there was certainly something pleasant about this rhythm they all followed. Kili had been on long journeys like this more recently, but to a certain point, he couldn't help but feel like a wee dwarfing again, being allowed to travel with the older dwarves. There was an almost childlike excitement around the whole thing. It wasn't every day that they got to be on a quest that would be told of by bards for centuries to come.

Kili wondered if the great tales would mention him. Thorin, of course, would be the leading character. Fili would surely come up, being heir to the throne. But the runt of the litter? He wasn't too hopeful. He might get mentioned for his bow. His thoughts strayed to Gwen a bit more than he would have liked. Would she be a player in these tales? In their tale? Part of him dreaded the idea, while another liked it a bit too much.

He was glad to see that she settled into the company somewhat comfortably. Thorin certainly hadn't cozied up to her, but they hadn't argued yet. Merely terse discussions about their navigation over particular mountain peaks. Gwen seemed to have good eyes and a keen sense for what paths would be easiest and fastest for them to tread, although Kili suspected she may have been secreting away a fear of heights. While the trails she chose were good, she seemed to lean towards recommending the less precarious and cliffy paths.

Gwen passed much of her time talking to Bilbo about things of the Shire and of Rhun as they walked, or listening to Bofur's tales or Nori's jokes, though she often found herself back between Fili and Kili, typically rolling her eyes. Kili would never admit it out loud but it seemed she belonged there.

It was their midday break, and Kili had just finished eating a quick bite of bread and cold potatoes and was cleaning off his sword. No matter what he did, it seemed that grime and dust would always manage to slip in there and gum things up. It was one of the many things that made swords a pain in the arse. Gwen was with Ori. They seemed to be reading together, another thing that Gwen would spend long hours doing, especially at midday, when the light was good. Dori wasn't happy about it, but eventually, he seemed to give up on breaking up their academic friendship. Balin and Dwalin were smoking a bit, while the others sat in a circle, playing a betting game with dice and wooden cards. It was one of Bofur's favorites. Kili didn't often play it, seeing as Bofur would always manage to con him out of whatever money he put into the pool.

Fili had the worst fate of the whole company. He was with Thorin, bowed over their map. Kili believed that he had overheard them discussing their supplies and when they would be able to refresh their food stores; where they could afford to take breaks, what towns they might pass through, thoroughly boring things.

At least the weather was lovely though. They had stopped on a wide plateau, where the sun basked over them, but the air was nippingly cool, a persistent breeze whisking away the heat of the distant sun. It was sparsely grassy, mostly stone and moss, but displayed the wide mountains around them beautifully. Kili couldn't help but admire the majesty of the stone and ice that had formed the rugged landscape. As excellent as dwarves were at stone working, they would never be able to craft something of that magnitude and greatness. It was humbling.

Kili was just about to stow his sword away and maybe look in on the game, when Fili returned, looking mildly exasperated. He took a seat on a rock next to Kili. "He thinks we can run on no supplies and no rest, Kee."

"All things considered, he's not wrong," Kili acknowledged. "We've been doing it for a week."

"But could we do it for another week?" Fili asked. "It could just be me, but I am exhausted."

Kili agreed silently but decided he would, instead, lighten his brother's sour mood. "I think I can fix that."

Fili just had time to look over at him warily, before Kili was up on his feet, sword drawn and leveled at Fili's neck. "Fili, son of Kilhon, I challenge you to a duel."

Fili rolled his eyes. "Kili—"

He responded by letting his blade tip brush Fili's throat. "I warn you, turning down this offer will result in endless mockery."

"Endless?" Fili repeated, raising a brow, a playful spark at last entering his eye.

"Endless."

Fili put on a show of sighing heavily, moving aside Kili's sword with one hand, and standing, drawing both of his blades. "I suppose I can't turn that down, then, lest I submit to my dreadful eternal fate."

Kili grinned, feeling his blood begin to flow again. "Wise choice."

Fili didn't take the time to acknowledge that, launching himself at Kili. The sound of steel clashing against steel rang into the air, high and sharp. They fought with the ease of those who knew each other better than anyone, but with the stubbornness they'd both inherited from their mother. Kili gritted his teeth as one of Fili's blades skimmed over his chest, nearly tapping his armor. He recalled their duel in the snow a week back, when Gwen distracting him had caused him to lose. Fili wouldn't be so lucky this time.

Kili's muscles burned as he kept himself quicker than Fili. His brother had a strength advantage over him, so Kili had to make it up with speed. His lungs stung, but his blood was thrumming through his veins delightfully. He was so absorbed in this spar that he didn't even risk the mental energy it would take to make some lighthearted quips. Fili was also taken up in the fight, so they sparred silently, save their breaths, the crunch of their feet on gravel and the clashing of steel. The stony ground came to Kili's advantage as Fili momentarily stumbled. He regained his balance quickly, careful not to allow Kili an opening, but he was too hasty. He dove towards Kili's left side, but Kili made no effort to parry the blow, merely stepping out of the way of the clumsy effort. And there as Fili brought his other blade around to nip at Kili's legs, was his opening. His blade clashed against Fili's hard, and with a bit of a twist, he had sent the sword past him and had a clear opening to lay the flat of his blade against Fili's forearm. If it had been a real fight, Fili would have lost a hand.

They both fought to regain their breaths as they stood apart now, their foreheads slicked with sweat. Despite the exertion, they were both grinning like mad. "Got to remember where you are, brother," Kili panted.

"I knew where I was," Fili replied, just as out of breath as he sheathed his swords. "I didn't know where that bloody rock was, though."

"It was under your foot," Kili told him, knowing and reveling in the fact that he was being a bit of a smug bastard.

Fili probably would have cursed him out, but instead, his eyes caught something over Kili's shoulder. "You look like you're itching for a fight, love."

Kili turned to see Gwen already shaking her head. "No, that's certainly not it."

"What is it then?" Kili asked, gripping the hilt of his blade.

"You're loud," she said shrugging. "Hard not to catch my attention."

"Care for a spar, m'lady?" Kili asked, half teasing, half serious.

"Not at all," she replied easily.

"Come on," Fili prodded. "I'm sure you could put Kili in his place."

"Don't want me getting cocky," Kili agreed. "Will you come and show me how awful I am?"

"It'll be good practice," Fili added, his tone coaxing. "It's really just practical. You'll get rusty."

"Will you shut up if I agree?" Gwen asked drily.

They both nodded, excited grins on their faces. She was so easy to coax. They both cheered a little, clapping each other happily on the back as she stood with a soul-deep sigh. She shed her cloak, and coat, dropping them next to Ori with an apologetic smile for the interruption of their conversation. The scabbard of the sword Kili had seen days ago hid itself neatly in the folds of her wine-red tunic, strapped onto her light leather breastplate, and she drew it easily.

Kili fought back a groan as he heard Fili practically coo in delight as he saw the weapon. "Mahal, Gwen, let me see that."

"I thought I was supposed to be sparring," she drawled, though she held the hilt out to him.

Fili ignored her, and took it, testing its weight, and inspecting it carefully. "I haven't seen this style often."

"It's a Rhunish design," she explained.

Fili hummed in comprehension, and Kili took his hand of the hilt of his sword. Knowing his brother, he might never stop examining the blade. It was pretty, certainly, and Kili loved blade smithing just as much as the next dwarf, but Fili took his love for metalworking to an almost problematic level.

"How many layers is this Damascus?" Fili asked, running a finger over the spine of the blade. "Is it acid etched? This is beautifully crafted. Did you make this?"

Gwen sighed at the quick-fire questions, but cut him off before he could continue. "Two hundred and fifty, yes, and no. My uncle had a shop."

Kili butted in. "Not that this isn't a great conversation, but can we get on with the match?"

Fili sighed, shooting him a droll look, but handed the sword back to Gwen. "Do it justice, love."

Gwen nodded and whipped the sword through the air a few times, reacquainting herself with its feel. It cut through the air neatly, whistling as it went. "Pretty," Kili admitted. "The sword's nice too."

She groaned. "Shove it."

"Make me," Kili challenged, and Gwen didn't need any further prodding.

Her initial strike was a bit clumsy, but she made up for it with speed. Kili's attempts from earlier with being quick on his feet looked pitiful in comparison. She was light, and her sword flashed around her, the curve turning easily around her body. She fought in a way not quite like anything Kili had seen before, reserved but keenly.

Due to the lightness of her weapon, she had greater freedom to start her long, swiping attacks from above or from the side, rather than from the hip, as Kili had been taught. He had to spend the first few minutes just acquainting himself with her methods, parrying away her attacks, before he leapt to the offense, taking advantage of a blind spot he'd seen in watching her. She barely caught his swipe at her stomach, stepping out of the way.

Luckily it took a moment for Gwen to refocus after this, as Kili had managed to unbalance himself with the strike. He was feeling the burn of his muscles from the last spar, and knew that she had both speed and energy on her side. Despite this, he was beginning to see a gap in her defenses. She was far too warry, spending a far greater deal of her focus on defending herself rather than attacking him. The moment Kili made an offensive strike, it would take her a few parries to gain back the confidence to attack again.

A plan crystalized in his mind, but it was much easier said than done. Her blade was made to cut, and while he didn't think Gwen would actually slice him to ribbons, her steel kissing up past his neck or down his stomach made him break into a nervous sweat. At last, she took a moment longer to bring her blade up, and Kili saw his window. He poured himself into a series of quick offensive blows, going for her legs and gut. He left himself rather open to attack, but as he suspected, she was too distracted warding off his attacks to see the openings.

Kili gritted his teeth as he realized that he'd never win like this. They'd be locked in a tie, him striking, her stepping out of the way or batting his sword away with the flat of hers until he was too worn down to keep up with her. He couldn't have her winning.

He swept his sword down for legs, and as Kili predicted, she swung low to deflect it. Before she could acknowledge he was doing it, he stepped a heavy boot on the end of her sword. Surprised, her grip loosened, and the sword fell out of her hand, clattering down onto the stone.

From there, it was easy, Kili swung a series of blows at the center mass of her body, and without a sword, she was just forced back, and in a few steps, she tripped, yelping as she fell back onto the ground.

Kili was just about to finish his victory when Thorin's voice pierced through the air, sounding none too happy. "Enough!"

He lowered his blade instantly, attention snapping to where Thorin was seated with Balin and Dwalin. The shouts of encouragement from the others died instantly, and Kili realized that they had drawn almost all of the card-playing crowd, and had perhaps gotten a little rowdy.

He tried not to flush in embarrassment as Thorin's searing gaze landed on him. "With all that shouting, we'll be lucky if a pack of animals doesn't find us and rip us to shreds."

Kili opened his mouth to protest, but Gwen's voice spoke, softly enough just for him to hear. "He's right."

The others were already dispersing, mildly embarrassed and miffed that their fun had been interrupted. Kili huffed out a sigh, tearing his gaze away from his uncle. They were just trying to enjoy themselves. He knew Thorin didn't actually hate happiness, but sometimes he did wonder….

"That was daft," Gwen said, her tone bitter.

"No," Kili admonished. "It was fun."

"Daft, you mean."

She started to stand, but Kili beat her to it, offering a hand. Perhaps their duel hadn't ended as he would have liked, but he could still save it. Gwen rolled her eyes, but took his hand anyway. Her fingers were rough with calluses and torn off nails, but slight and warm in Kili's palm. Despite being a head taller than him, she weighed less than a sack of flour, so he hauled her easily up off the ground. Before she could take her hand away, Kili leaned down, pressing a kiss to the back of her knuckles. Gwen hissed at the touch, a bright blush flooding her face. "Kili!"

Not the reaction he typically got from such a gesture, but he was beginning to just expect the unexpected from her. He plucked her sword off the ground, handing it to her hilt first. "Just wanted to thank you for the invigorating spar."

Whatever Gwen would have said was cut off by Fili, whose tone was mockingly irritated. "I didn't get a kiss for losing to you," he grumbled.

"My tenderest apologies," Kili said in a husky voice, turning to grasp his brother by the shoulders. "Allow me to fix that." Before Fili realized what was happening, he darted in, planting a soggy, slurping kiss on his brother's cheek, and stepping away before he could be struck.

The dramatized gagging started up instantly, as Fili desperately rubbed his cheek. "Mahal below! That will never be unfelt!"

Their antics ended in a moment as they realized Thorin had approached. Gwen stepped up to him, after sheathing her sword. "I apologize for the disturbance, Master Dwarf." Her tone was stiff, and quite frankly not very genuine. Thorin accepted though, giving her a short dismissing nod.

Gwen left, adjusting her clothes, and Kili couldn't help but cringe as Thorin's full attention turned to him.

"I apologize for raising my voice," Thorin said.

Kili blinked in surprise, unsure if he was hearing correctly.

"It's alright," Fili said easily, with a smile. The tension melted out of his brother's body, and while Kili was still cautious, he relaxed a little as it seemed Thorin wasn't there to scold them. "You were right."

Thorin gave Fili a tired half smile. "Go on," he said to him, nodding his head towards the others. "Get them ready to go."

Fili nodded, and was off. And Kili was alone with his uncle.

The moment Thorin turned to him, Kili could see the lecture about to come out of his mouth, and annoyance bubbled up in him. "It's alright," Kili said tersely.

Thorin raised a brow. "What?"

Kili shrugged. "Apology accepted."

He sighed. "Kili—"

"You were right."

"Now you're just repeating your brother," Thorin said, a frown setting deep into his features.

"So? I feel the same as he does, I cannot be blamed if my words also echo his."

The exasperated look on Thorin's face only made irritation hotter in him. "I don't want you just blindly repeating your brother, Kili. I want you to forgive me."

"I have!" Kili protested. "I said you're alright, what more do you want?" Thorin tried to break in, but Kili could already see where this was headed. "Thorin, I'm not a child anymore. I'm not throwing a temper tantrum and I'm not going to pout at you because you ruined my silly game, aye?"

Thorin sighed heavily. "I never said any of that."

"You didn't have to," Kili spat, trying to keep his tone low, even though he was itching with anger. "No matter what I do, I'll still be a bloody infant in your eyes, Thorin. And that's not what I am. I've grown up. Did you know that?" There was only silence in reply, and Kili sucked in a deep breath, willing his temper down, and his tone cold. "We better get back on the road."

The silence followed him as he walked briskly away back to his pack to stow away his cloak. He sat down heavily, and a wash of bitter emotions flooded him. He didn't deal with that well. He had no problem admitting that now. Indeed, his argument that he was not childish probably came across as well…childish. But this had been a sore spot between him and Thorin for as long as he could remember. Fili was the brave and responsible heir to the throne, while Kili was the reckless dwarfling.

"I don't think he meant to make you angry."

Kili startled, and found Gwen had sat next to him without him realizing. She kept herself occupied with her hands, untying and retying the laces of her sleeves. "Heard that, aye?" Kili asked wryly.

She shrugged. "I have sharp ears."

"Hope you don't think less of me," Kili said, his tone light, but a knot was in his throat. There was more truth in that statement than he really wanted to admit.

Gwen shook her head. And there was a beat of silence before she spoke up, the words seeming to come out of her mouth before she could think of them. "Thorin—I think…I think that he treats you as a child because that's what he wants you to be. He—he sees you—I think-as something untouched…like, pure, aye? Well not pure, but…I think you're something untouched by the dark in his mind. Just…young. Happy. And so he makes you that. Doesn't want to see you grow up because he thinks you'll change." She finally dared to look up at him, and Kili was wide-eyed at this observation. She had voiced a lot of the things Fili had hinted at, or things he'd wondered. "Sorry," she continued. "I'm not trying to defend him at all. He is being unfair-"

Kili reached out to grab her hand before it could worry her sleeve further, holding her fingers gently, but firmly. "Thank you."

Her eyes widened fractionally. "For? I'm just…It's odd seeing you upset, aye? Don't think-"

Kili smirked. "It almost seems as if you're getting soft, love."

Any tenderness their moment had shattered as she yanked her hand out of his and elbowed him sharply in the side. "Shove it, Master Dwarf." She was already up on her feet, as he laughed, feeling some of the heaviness leave him. "We have to catch up, they left without us."

He stood and followed her jog with a brisk walk. He smiled as he watched her trot over the rocks down the hill to the rest of the company. She really was an odd bird.


The mountain practically shook with each deafening peal of thunder. Wind howled down the valley crevice they were trapped in, the stone slick with sheets of icy rain. It felt as if someone had gotten angry at their good luck and was trying to peel them off the mountainside. Kili wished, not for the first time, that they had stopped for the night earlier.

Everything had been going so well. With another week of travel tucked under their belts, all bets were on them not having to spend another week in the mountains. They were all tired, but in good humor, and Kili had been feeling quite good about his circumstances.

Until, of course, this storm had rolled upon them from a previously complacent sky. It was difficult to tell if night had fallen, or if the storm just made the sky look it, but the only light that illuminated the too-narrow path they had picked out on the side of the cliff was white hot flashes of lighting. It would dart its fingers out over the angry swell of clouds, and Kili's heart dropped into his gut every single time, as it lit up the drop that they teetered on. Kili remembered being fiercely terrified of storms when he was young. While that fear was mostly gone, a storm of this magnitude still put him more on edge than he would care to admit.

The valley was too dark and too deep for him to see to the bottom, but he expected that if he were to fall, he'd be smashed to pieces on the rocks long before he hit the bottom.

If Kili was frightened by the circumstances, Gwen was bloody terrified. Glances over his shoulder showed that she was pale with terror. The only thing that kept her pressing along were terse encouraging words from Kili or Fili's hands, sometimes literally pushing her forward on the path.

Kili felt sick to the stomach and shivering with awful cold. He was truly miserable. They all were truly miserable.

Thorin had just shouted something unintelligible back at them when there was a huge commotion in the line in front of them. Kili leaned out as far as he dared to see Bilbo scrambling, his shadowy form almost tumbling over the ledge, a cry falling out of his mouth. Kili's heart lurched into his throat and he froze, watching Bofur and Dwalin grab onto him. They managed to secure his wheeling limbs in time for Thorin to howl back, "We must find shelter!"

Kili would have made a quip about that if he wasn't numb and the sideways wind wasn't blowing tiny needles of rain into his eyes. Besides…his eyes scanned the cliffs around them…he didn't exactly see another cozy inn for them to hide out and meet friendly lasses in.

"Look out!"

Dwalin's warning barely pierced through the roar of the storm, but Kili looked up just in time to see a huge projectile, as big as a chunk of the mountain itself flying towards them. It hit high, but they all scrambled to get against the cliff face as it collided, shaking them to their very bones. The sound was somewhere between a crunch and a 'boom' and the cries of his companions rang out around him as the debris fell, rocks and boulders raining down onto their perch. With no overhead cover, Kili squeezed his eyes shut and tucked his head, praying to whoever was listening that they wouldn't be swiped off the rock face.

When the feeling of rocks hitting his arms subsided, he cracked his eyes open to see Gwen glued to the stone wall, her eyes huge and terrified, looking out at something in the darkness. Kili opened his mouth to ask if she was alright, but Balin's roar cut him off.

"This is no thunderstorm! It's a thunder battle!"

The chill set deeper into Kili's bones as he followed Gwen's gaze out into the abyss. Through the haze of rain and wind, Kili made out a dark figure, more massive than anything Kili had ever seen. It was jagged and as huge as a mountain, and it moved with the weight of one. Mahal above. They were dead dwarves walking.

"The legends are true," said Bofur's voice, carried to Kili by the wind. "Stone giants!"

They stood frozen in terrified awe as they watched the spectacle.

With a horrible cracking sound, deeper than any thunder, the figure launched a projectile the size of a house across the valley. The air echoed with its unearthly might. His eyes followed the flying stone as it connected with a dark mass, which Kili quickly identified as another giant. The creature moaned something as deep as the earth and fell back, shaking the unstable ground. Kili felt stone beginning to slide out from his feet as his ledge dissolved into the darkness. Thorin shouted something, but the only thing Kili made out was "Hold on!"

His fingers scrabbled helplessly across the slick stone, but found no purchase. He felt more helpless than he ever had before. A deep rumble under his feet woke, and to his horror, he watched a crack form between him, Gwen and Fili, only inches from his feet. As the crack yawned wider, Kili voiced all that he could: "What's happening?"

He only had a moment of eye contact with Fili over Gwen, who was paralyzed, before Fili had ripped her from the wall, and shoved her towards Kili over the gap, which had grown to two feet. It all happened far too fast. Gwen nearly missed the mark, surprised and shaking as she was, but Kili caught her as best he could, squeezing her tight to his chest and stepping away from the drop. "Fili!" he desperately shouted as the blonde head of his brother slid further away. He pushed past Gwen, reaching a desperate hand towards Fili, but he was gone into the downpour.

It felt like all the air was mashed out of his chest.

A torrent of rocks poured down inches away from him and Kili flinched, opening his eyes to find Gwen staring at him, primal fear written over his face. So Fili was gone. And now he had Gwen. He slipped an arm into her cloak, and wrapped it all the way round her waist, holding her securely.

She wouldn't slip away too.

Kili couldn't tell what was happening, but he could feel the stone he was on moving, hurtling through the dark. Had he been picked up? Were they on one of the creatures? There was only chaos; cracking rocks, slippery footholds, shouts, and roars. But Gwen was stable in his arms, shaking, but holding on to him for dear life.

With the biggest thud of all, they stilled for a moment, and Thorin's shouts had him shoving Gwen in the direction all the others were going. He made sure Gwen went first, but they all threw themselves onto a wider ledge before their previous perch hurtled away back into the darkness. Kili was bruised, and Gwen was still stiff with anxiety,but they were alive.

The sound of a scream caught his ear and he scrambled to his feet, seeing movement in the darkness. To his growing horror, he recognized the other half of their company, still swinging through open air, propped onto the knee joint of the colossal beast. Just as Kili had stood, he was forced to cower again as a blow struck the cliff wall above them, sending a flood of rocks hailing down at them.

He almost thought he could see the battle happening before his eyes. The giants swung slow, but immensely powerful blows at each other. One had just clocked the other in the jaw when a boulder came hurtling through the air from a new side, hitting the standing giant in the head hard enough to knock it right off of his shoulders.

They once again found themselves in the exact wrong place as the momentum of the head sent it smashing into the cliff above them once again, this time closer and harder than ever before. The whole mountains shook worse than any earthquake, and Kili's stomach had tied itself into knots long ago. As dark grit and stone poured onto him, he found it had almost become routine for him, flattening himself to the wall, ducking his head, praying to Mahal that he wouldn't be scraped clean off the mountain.

This was a waking nightmare.

A chorus of hoarse screams drew his attention just in time for him to watch his companions swing by, only feet away, as the stone giant staggered almost drunkenly about. The others were so close but in so much danger. They looked on helplessly as the group was swung out by a staggering step, and then began speeding in a direct collision path with the cliff face. Kili's heart leapt up in his throat at the sound of stone scraping and crashing stone. They had hit.

Thorin's violent cry of disbelief tore through the din, and Kili felt something in himself go very cold as the knee drew back, empty of dwarves.

Mahal. No.

It was almost as if time slowed as Kili watched the giant collapse into the abyss. He turned to look at Gwen as the blood in his ears roared. Her eyes were as wide as plates, hair wild, scarf ripped down to lay around her neck. Uncovered, her hair whipped around in the gale, revealing her slender neck, cutting up to her jawline and then to her delicately pointed ear.

Thorin's shouts cut through his thoughts and in a sickening moment, it felt like his brain burst a little bit with violent conflict of thought and priorities and what the—Fili.

His hand found Gwen's wrist, and he hauled her along as he followed the others, scrambling towards the corner where the knee had left a deep imprint in the mountainside. Kili had almost rounded the corner when Balin's voice floated back to him. "It's alright! They're alive!"

It felt like he could breathe again. As he came around the corner, he found himself panting but more relieved than anything that the other half of their company was there, tossed about and grumbling, but largely unhurt. Fili was alright. Mahal was good.

This relief couldn't last more than a moment as Bofur asked, "Where's Bilbo?" and then louder, "Where's the hobbit?"

Why was he so damn easy to lose?

Kili's heart lurched as he caught sight of Bilbo, dangling by his fingertips over the edge of the cliff. His giant feet flapped helplessly, and Gwen's fingers tightened on his arm as Kili's heart pouded. He wanted to jump down there and save Bilbo himself, but he was yards away. Powerless.

Bilbo slipped and Kili thought he might be sick at the spectacle. The hobbit was too far down for Ori or Bofur to reach. "Grab my hand!" Bofur shouted, but it was useless. Bilbo was too far away and too weak. He was falling.

All of the sudden, Thorin was at Bilbo's side, hanging off the cliff on a small ledge, and he was hauling Bilbo up into the arms of the others. Kili didn't even get a moment of relief this time as Thorin's foothold cracked away, almost sending him into the dark. Dwalin was on it though, and took ahold of Thorin the moment he slipped. In a few anxious heartbeats, they were all shaken and freezing and exhausted and miserable but very much alive.

"I'd thought we'd lost our burglar," Kili heard Dwalin.

"He's been lost ever since he left home," Thorin spat. "He should never have come. He has no place amongst us."

Well, that was truly an awful thing to say.

Kili knew his uncle well enough to know that much of his ire was stemming from exhaustion and a few brushes with death, but still…the look on Bilbo's face made Kili's heart ache. He glanced back when he felt a tug from Gwen's wrist. While she still looked petrified, something had steeled her gaze and a flick of her eyes towards Bilbo was all that Kili needed to understand what she was up to. He let her go, feeling relief really sink in as he picked his way over to Fili who was futilely attempting to get Bombur to his feet. However, the moment Kili said his name, Fili turned, grinning. "Brother."

They embraced tightly, but only for as long as their circumstances allowed, and Kili would never admit it, but he wished they had embraced longer. After almost losing him, Kili wasn't keen on letting his brother, his best friend, get too far away. "Need a hand?" Kili offered, gesturing to Bombur.

Fili only nodded, still breathless.

Together, they managed to get Bombur upright, before they filed into the crevice Thorin and Dwalin had wandered into. It was dark and dusty, but at least helped them keep out of the rain and wind. Even this was a welcome relief, and Kili took the opportunity to pull his soaked hood off.

Dwalin searched out the back of the cave upon Thorin's advice, lighting a lamp along the way. It set the whole place aglow with orange light, and Kili found that he was already relaxing and growing weary. He and Fili were discussing their experiences, when Gwen returned, looking every part like a wet, unhappy cat.

"Is he alright?" Fili asked in a low voice.

She frowned. "I don't know. He didn't want to talk much."

Kili didn't hear what Fili replied, as he recalled something. Gwen's hood and scarf were in their proper place, framing her face in soaked red cloth, but…they hadn't been. And unless Kili's eyes were fooling him, he had seen very distinctly pointed ears. Now that…that was not something humans usually had, as far as Kili remembered. Unless he had seen them wrong. Some dwarves had misshapen ears, could it be the same for a human? He hadn't seen it before, but he hadn't been looking. But, what if-

"Can I help you, Master Dwarf?" Gwen asked suddenly, raising a brow, and Kili realized she was talking to him.

He blinked out of his thoughts. "Oh, no, it's alright."

Her teasing curiosity quickly turned into a frown. "Kili, what's wrong?"

"Nothing," he insisted, the lie sliding off his tongue easier than hot butter.

She seemed unconvinced, but relented.


Kili was exhausted but found himself awake an hour later. Thorin hadn't allowed a fire so he was still cold and wet, but they had taken out their (somewhat soaked) bedrolls, and nearly everyone had dropped off to sleep in a moment.

Except for Kili.

He found himself painfully awake, and wanting to be asleep, but instead staring at the girl who slept only a foot away from him. She usually kept her distance, but in such close quarters, she had little choice but to fit herself in between Fili and Kili. This had been thoroughly teased and Kili was originally pleased with the arrangement but now was finding it to have been a poor plan.

Even sleeping, she kept her scarf wrapped firmly about her head, blocking the one part of her that took up most of his thoughts. Her bloody ears. With a girl asleep next to him, he would have thought there were quite a few other things that would be keeping him up, but no. It was her ears. And whether or not they were all…pointy, and what if meant if they were.

He huffed silently, trying to situate his arm more comfortably under his head. At least she was asleep on her side, facing him. The faint light brought the freckles and dark spots of her skin into stark contrast, writing odd patterns across her face. The shadows hollowed her cheekbones and eyes, making her seem almost like a statue, stone, and remote. The only thing disrupting this solemn image was the dark strands of hair plastered about her cheek and the soft breaths that flared her nostrils.

Kili avoided at all cost the idea of how easy it would be to draw away her scarf, catch a glimpse of her surely human, though mildly deformed, ears. It would be so painfully simple to put to rest the stupid madness plaguing his mind.

He couldn't do that, of course. She would wake up, or scream, or maybe she wouldn't. She seemed to be sleeping soundly just like Kili wanted to be, but couldn't be because things might possibly go awry if he acted on his impulses. But honestly, he was so exhausted, and how much damage could he really do?

His hand was halfway across the air between them when a hissing sound caught his ear, and a line carved itself into the sand between him and Gwen. What the—

The ground swung out from under him and he fell.


Hello! Thank you for reading. I hope that you enjoyed. Please let me know what you think! Let me know what your favorite part of the chapter was, or who your favorite character is right now. If you read the last version of this story, what do you like about this more than the other version or less than the other version? I'm just very curious and adore feedback. Thank you for reading and reviewing, and I'll talk to you all on Wednesday!