WARNING: GRAPHIC LANGUAGE. IF YOU ARE TRIGGERED BY THIS OR DO NOT ENJOY IT, DO NOT READ.
Chapter Five.
Bella's POV:
The day seemed to drag on and on until finally, I made my way home. When I entered the front door, Charlie was sitting down with Billy and Harry.
And Jacob and Leah Clearwater. The older girl glared at me viciously, while Jacob shrugged.
"Bells, you're finally home."
"Yeah… What's all this? I didn't know there was a game on tonight."
"Billy's younger sister Emmie is moving to town, and he's asked Harry and me to go down and help."
Leah growled and said angrily. "And we're supposed to stay here until they get back."
"What, why?"
"You three could use some bonding time together. Remember when you were younger? You used to be best friends, and now you barely talk anymore." Harry exclaimed with a sad smile. "This weekend you can spend hanging out and getting close again."
"And what if we don't want to get close again, Harry? What if we just leave when you three head to Emmie's?"
Billy chose then to cut in with a stern look. "Then you're hopeless. We can't do much more for you if you don't let us try."
"When have you ever tried? All you do is sit in that damn wheelchair complaining about everything. 'I wish I could walk damn it if I could walk I could do so much more.' News flash, you could! But still, you sit there and drink your beer and eat all that fast food and still wonder why you're like that." Billy sat stunned after Jacob's tangent. Jacob ran a hand through his hair before taking a deep breath in and out. "I-I'm sorry, I don't know what came over me."
"Dad, you can't be serious." I trailed off, but he just nodded his head.
"We are. You can stay here and try to be happy, or you can wallow in your sadness forever."
The three of them left soon after, leaving us in an awkward silence in the living room. Five long minutes passed until Leah stood up and went towards the door.
"Fuck this, I'm out of here. They can kiss my ass." Jacob grabbed at her wrist and pulled her back with wide eyes. I just sat and watch everything unfold in front of me.
"Lee, just calm down for a second-"
"Let go of me! If you want to let them dictate your life, be my guest! But I will be damned if I have to listen to that traitor act like he cares about me." Tears filled her eyes and without thinking I stood up and pulled her into my arms. She was taller than me, but Leah leaned down and laid her head on my shoulder.
"It's okay. Let it out." I cooed to the other girl, rubbing her back in what I hoped was a soothing way. Jacob gave me a sad look before slowly relaxing on the couch. Leah cried for a few more minutes before extracting herself from her hold and wiping her eyes.
"Shit, this is all so messed up, isn't it?" With a nod, I grabbed her hand and led her back to the couch. She sat down next to me and sighed. "Life's been a mess lately."
"I know how you feel. Ed- he left me too."
"In the forest, right?" I nodded. "Boys suck, who needs 'em!"
"Hey! What about me?"
"You don't even count." Leah retorted.
"And why is that?"
"You're well… you're Jacob."
"Yeah! You're Jacob. That's exactly right." I agreed, and he grimaced.
"I happen to think I'm as sexy as they come. If you both would rub the dirt out of your eyes you could see plain as day."
"Sure, sure," Leah exclaimed as she leaned back, raven hair falling down her shoulders in waves. Her mouth turned into a small smile and I couldn't help but notice how pretty she looked. She high cheekbones and clear, soft skin. Her lips were full, and her eyes sparkled even with all the pain they held. My breath hitched as her gaze turned to me. "You going to stare at me all day?"
"Oh, sorry. I didn't notice I was staring." She chuckled.
"I know I'm beautiful, you don't have to tell me twice." I blushed at her comment but continued to stare at her. She stared back as if entranced.
Jacob's stomach broke the silence.
"You pig, always hungry. What, do you want Bella and I to get off our asses and make you a sandwich now? Typical…"
"What the hell? I didn't say anything!"
"You were thinking it!"
"Was not!"
"Was too!"
"Was no-" I slapped a hand over both of their mouths and sighed.
"Come on, seriously. We're over the age of twelve, so let's act like it." When I removed my hands, I nodded towards the kitchen. "Why don't we make a snack together and order pizza for dinner?"
"That sounds good."
"Cool with me, I guess. Okay, lead the way, B."
"B?"
"Yeah, you know, short for Bella… Are you cool with that nickname?"
"Oh, y-yeah. I'm way cool with it."
"You're so cute. Okay, come on children. Let's get to work."
After some more arguing from Leah and Jacob, the three of us decided on fruit. While I went grocery shopping I bought some bananas, apples, and grapes to use in my lunches for work and we decided we could use those. Charlie could buy some more since he was forcing us to stay here together.
A half an hour later we were all full of fruit and sat in front of the television again, watching a rom-com that was moderately interesting. I was having a good time, but then Jacob groaned.
"Can we please do something else? I'm bored out of my mind."
"Shut up and watch the movie, brat."
"No! Let's do something interesting instead," Jacob whined again before turning to me with puppy dog eyes. "Bells, come on, why don't we do something else?"
"I don't know-"
"Bella, are you enjoying the movie?"
"Uh…"
"Be honest."
"Yes."
"Now shut up and let us enjoy the movie, Jacob," Leah exclaimed before stretching her arms up. Instead of putting them back in her lap, she laid on across the couch behind me.
I ignored it with a deep breath. Ten minutes later it slid onto my shoulders. A blush crept into my cheeks and I bit my lip.
Why do I feel so nervous? It's just Leah Clearwater.
I turned to look at her and smiled. She grinned blindingly back.
In a rush, I turned away again and swallowed.
What is wrong with me?
When the movie finished Leah finally let Jacob choose what we would do. He quickly ordered a pizza and once it arrived we settled into a circle around the coffee table.
"Truth or dare, anyone?"
"What are we, thirteen?"
"Come on! It'll be fun."
"No, I refuse."
"Bella, don't you want to play it?"
"Uh, I don't-"
"Don't force her into your agenda!"
"Guys-"
"See? She wants to!"
"Such a male thing to do, make decisions for a girl without even asking her!"
"Guys, stop! Geeze, you're worse than children," I snapped before rubbing a hand over my face. "And to answer your question, I'm fine with truth or dare as long as it doesn't mess up anything in the house."
"Ha! See, Lee? Bella wants to play!" Jacob said triumphantly.
Leah rolled her eyes before grumbling back, "Yeah, yeah. You go first since it was your big idea, bozo."
"Okay… Hmm… Bella, truth or dare?"
"Truth."
"How many guys have you dated?"
"Um, one."
"Really?"
"Shut up, Jake! Bella, it's your turn, sweetheart."
"O-okay. Leah, truth or dare?"
"Dare."
"I dare you to… kiss Jacob's cheek." I finished before blushing and covering my eyes.
"Awe, you're adorable. Sure, baby. I'll kiss his cheek for you." As Leah leaned over to plant a big sloppy one on him, he pushed her face away with a grimace.
"Get away, she-devil!"
"Put your hands down, idiot!"
"Never!" Jacob stood up and ran in the other direction. Leah followed closely behind.
I rolled my eyes again before biting into my slice of meat lover's pizza. Children, what can you do?
Ten minutes of roughhousing and one cheek kiss later, Leah and Jacob finally sat back down. I munched on a third slice of pizza, most likely my last, and watched a rerun of a sitcom on the living room television.
"Now that that's over, how about we forget about that game?"
"Thank gosh, I thought I'd have to kiss you next."
"In your dreams."
"More like nightmares!"
"You guys are impossible," I muttered with a small smile before finishing my pizza. "Ah, now I'm ready for a nap."
"I could use one too. Running after the idiot really tired me out."
"Why don't we head up to Bella's room and pass out then?" Jacob exclaimed with a yawn. With all nodded and went to work cleaning up our mess. When everything was cleaned up, I locked the front door and led them to my room.
Leah immediately flopped onto my mattress with a happy sigh and I followed suit. Jacob landed on the other side of me.
"Okay, Bella and I get the bed. You get the floor, chump."
"Hey! Why do I get the floor?"
"You're a boy!"
"I thought I was just Jacob."
"You get what I mean!"
"No, I don't think I do-"
"Guys, let's just all share the bed, okay? I don't mind if you guys don't."
"I guess it's okay. But you stay on your side, Black!"
"Wouldn't dream of going on your side, she-witch."
Leah and I changed into our pajamas while Jacob changed in the bathroom. When we were cuddled up under the covers, Jacob shut the light off and slid in with us.
"When we wake up we could play a board game or something," Jacob said with a yawn.
"Sounds good," Leah whispered as she wrapped her arms around me. Without thinking I did the same. Jacob wrapped his big arms around both of us.
Seconds later, we were out like a light.
I woke up bright and early the next morning. As I slipped out from between their bodies, I pulled on my robe and decided to cook them breakfast. Cheesy scrambled eggs, bacon, and toast.
As I pulled out all of the ingredients I needed, warm arms wrapped around my torso. I squealed and jumped before turning around. Leah stood there with a hand over her mouth as she tried to stop her laughter. I glared in pretend anger.
"Don't do that!"
"I-I'm sorry," Leah kept on laughing and my face became redder and redder in embarrassment. "I didn't mean to s-scare you, but you jumped so high. Oh my gosh, Bella!"
"Shut up," I grumbled before mock-glaring up at her. She started laughing again before grabbing my face in her manicured hands and squishing my cheeks.
"You're so cute, Swan. It's no wonder Jake's head over heels for you."
"Huh?"
Jake liked me? What? No, he couldn't!
"Maybe I'm falling for you too…" The breath whooshed out of my lungs and suddenly she was leaning in. To kiss me? No, she wouldn't…Would she?
As our lips came in close contact my eyes shut by themselves.
I couldn't taste her minty breath and then our lips… didn't meet.
Because a large oaf skipped into the kitchen screeching, "Honey, I'm home!" Leah's hands dropped from my face and I was left a blushing mess, sputtering at the both of them before turning back to my prior obligation.
Breakfast, I was good at that. It was easy, almost child's play.
"What's with her?" Jacob whispered loudly to Leah, who grunted and slapped the back of his head. "Ow! What the hell was that for?"
"Bella's not feeling too well. I was just checking her temperature when you came in here."
"Huh, I wondered what that was about. Almost looked like you guys were going to kiss or some shit."
"Nope, not at all."
My stomach dropped at her words, but I tried to not let it affect me. It was my mistake, of course. And anyway, I had him still. Even if he was gone I stilled loved him and was devoted to us.
Was there even an us anymore?
Was there even a me anymore?
I pondered this questions as I cooked softly, letting my mind wander and ignore Leah and Jacob's banter.
With breakfast had and three movies watched, Jacob announced that we were going to go grocery shopping for more snacks.
"Bells, I'm sorry, but nutri-grain bars just aren't cutting it anymore."
"What do you mean? They're delicious and good for you too!"
"I need Cheetos! I'm going to go insane if I can't eat a Dorito! Give me a Frito, even! A Funyon!"
"And I'm kind go craving some rocky road."
"Well, you can both go by yourselves. I'm staying right here."
"Oh, no you aren't."
"Excuse me? You can't tell me what to do."
"Jake, grab her!" I couldn't even think to run as he pulled me onto his back. I cackled as I smacked his back half-heartedly.
"Put me down, put me down!"
"No can do, missy. You need to go get ready, so we can head to the beach."
"We're not allowed to leave, though."
"Rules are made to broken sometimes, sweetheart." At the pet name, I turned red.
"Okay, fine. I'll get ready. But we're not staying too long. I still want to watch a few more movies today."
"Sure thing. We'll only be there for a few hours."
The beach as silent as we settled around the fire, roasting marshmallows and basking in the silence. After spending the day swimming and building sandcastles, we finally dried off and sat down to eat. Now we were enjoying dessert and each other's company. It had been such a great weekend, one of the best I'd had in a while. For the first time without him, I could breathe easily.
But part of me did feel empty. Honestly, I didn't know if that would ever fade.
"Do you guys ever feel unimportant?" I whispered as I watched the pale marshmallow start to turn a golden brown. Pulling it away from the fire, I smashed it between the chocolate and gram cracker and lay the stick on my lap. The smores tasted slightly bitter as my anxiety started to flare.
Leah cocked an eyebrow at me. "What do you mean?"
"When he left me, he didn't just leave me; he broke me. I can barely eat or sleep and nothing seem fun or interesting anymore. I'd rather lay in bed than get up and live. We were together for what, six months? But it feels like we were together for years."
"Love comes in all shapes and sizes. You shouldn't feel bad for grieving for the relationship. He was your first love, Bells. Don't be ashamed to hurt."
"Yeah, don't beat yourself up over it. We've all dealt with it from time to time."
A small smile graced Jacob's lips and I marveled at the warmth. "When I was eleven I fell in love with Quil's mom. She was just so nice and always made sure I was fed and clean whenever she watched me for dad. I confessed to her, but she, of course, rejected me and explained why I probably felt the way I did. She was like the mom I never had. But I still bawled like a baby when I got home."
"When Sam left me for Emily, it broke me too. We had been together for four years and were engaged for three months. He was my first everything and then he suddenly just throws me away, you know? I don't know what I did wrong. I tried so hard, but he kept pushing me away until he found someone better."
"Emily's a bitch for doing that to you. I mean, I guess I can get why. When she was mauled by that bear he saved her life. She probably sees him as her knight and shining armor."
"She always chose assholes before Sam, so I guess I'm happy they have each other. I know he'll be good to her and vice versa. I just wish they had talked to me instead of going behind my back."
"I feel that way about his family. After my birthday party, they ignored me. They didn't even tell me goodbye before they left. A-Alice was my best friend. I had never had a best friend ever and then she abandons me. Finally, I thought I had a true family and it's ripped away from me." I cried softly, rubbing my eyes with my flannel sleeve. Jacob and Leah both wrap an arm around me and without knowing a small smile finds its way to my lips even as more tears roll down my cheeks.
"I hate watching my dad slowly kill himself. He's so selfish and all he cares about is himself. The doctor tells him to stop drinking and eat right and yet he's never without a beer in his hand. It's unreal. I feel like I'm working my ass off for nothing." Jacob's voice cracks and he rubs his own eyes too. "I've already lost mom and Becca and Rachel. I don't want to lose my dad too."
"I almost hit my mom the other day. I was so angry at Sam and Emily for betraying me that I started breaking everything and when she came in to stop me I almost attacked her. Seth held me back, but I told her I hated her. I don't know why I did that." Leah lays her head against my shoulder and I lean my head against hers. Jacob lays his head on my other shoulder and sighs.
"My mom barely speaks to me. She wants me to move to Florida with her but I know she will just ignore me there. All my life I've made sure the bills were paid and we had enough to eat and then suddenly she has this young guy and doesn't need me anymore. I love Phil, he's really great, but it would be nice to feel wanted. Dad never fought for me and my mother was more like my friend. It's no wonder I grabbed onto the Cullen's."
The three of us sat in silence for a while as our words sunk in. None of us had it easy. But all of desperately wanted relief from our current troubles.
"I don't want to be unhappy anymore, guys," Jacob whispered as the sun set over the horizon, leaving us with only the firelight to see.
"Me neither. I feel so empty sometimes."
Nuzzling my head against Leah's, I said, "I want to live."
"Let's do it then."
"Huh?"
"Let's live, Bells. The three of us will be a team."
"What if you guys leave?"
"I've been here the whole time, haven't I?" Jacob teased before kissing my cheek. Blushing, I nodded and bit my lip. Leah chuckled before following suit and kissing my other cheek. When she pulled away I felt breathless.
"Same here. We've grown up together, kid. You aren't going to get rid of us that easily."
After enjoying a few more smores, Jacob doused the fire and we slid back into my truck before making the drive back to Forks. My stomach felt full and my heart felt warm. I hoped the feeling lasted.
Like the night before we all slid into bed together, not caring that we smelt like campfire and sweat. With Jacob and Leah's arms wrapped tightly around me I was at peace.
We didn't wake until noon the next day and even then, we brought my pillows and blankets down and lazed in the living room until our father's returned. Jacob made us his famous grilled cheese and ham sandwiches and when the old men came through the front door we all were stuffing our faces.
"Have a nice weekend?" Dad asked as he sat down his things and slipped off his boots. I couldn't help the grin that appeared on my face as I nodded.
"It was great. Thanks for forcing us to have fun, Charlie."
Leah yawned and wrapped an arm around me. I felt myself start to sweat. "Yeah, this weekend was a real eyeopener. I'm happy I decided to stay."
"I am too, Lee," Harry said as he entered, rolling Billy in front of him. He smiled, and I could see where Leah got it from. "You kids feeling better?"
"A lot better," I said before running a hand through Jacob's hair. His eyes started to droop as the father's made their way into the kitchen. Smiling, I leaned over and kissed his forehead.
"Why don't you guys stay over again? I'm sure the three old men will let us skip if we beg enough."
"Can't live without us now, can you?"
"Not at all."
"I don't blame you, we're pretty awesome." I giggled before snuggling back into my spot between them. They made no move to leave and neither did Harry or Billy. In the end, they all decided to stay the night again and make the trip back home tomorrow.
Leah's POV:
As the other two slept in Bella's bed, I snuck down to the kitchen for a drink. Or I was until I hear loud voices cheering.
"Whew! I can't believe that actually worked!"
"Me neither. They all looked so happy. Like they took a vacation."
"And Bella was very cozy with Jacob," Dad exclaimed as he sipped from his beer. "I had hoped for him and Leah, but she seemed okay. Like she was healing."
"I don't know, Harry. Leah and Jake also looked pretty close earlier."
"God, I hope this doesn't turn into a love triangle. Those never work out."
"As long as they find love, there's no harm to it." Charlie and Billy nodded at dad's statement before drinking from their own beer cans.
My hands were clenched into fists at my side and all I wanted to do was rip their heads off. But I didn't.
No, if they wanted to fuck with us we'd turn it back on them.
We had been dancing around the obvious over the weekend, anyway. Almost kissing Bella in the kitchen and cuddling to sleep each night. It felt so normal and comfortable and I wasn't going to give that up. Fuck no, I would never. I'd be an idiot if I didn't take this chance.
The thoughts were a catharsis for me as I gave up the drink and returned upstairs and back into bed.
The both of them lay talking, too close for friends.
No, after this weekend we'd never go back to that.
"Hey, Lee," Bella said with a grin and without another thought, I climbed into bed and situated myself above her.
As I pressed my lips to hers everything fell away. She kissed me back eagerly but unsurely.
"Whoa," Jacob whispered as he stared down at us. A few seconds passed before I pulled away and dove for Jacob's soft lips. He groaned into my mouth, holding the side of my face tenderly.
When we broke apart I leaned up and stared at them both.
"What was that for?" He asked as he touched his swollen lips.
"We're in this together, right? Well, we should make it official."
"As in date? All three of us?"
"Why not?"
"Isn't that illegal?"
"Only if we got married. We can date with no problem."
They were quiet for a few minutes and I felt my resolve start to break.
They don't want you, of course, they don't. Sam didn't, so why should they-
Jacob pulled me out of his thoughts as he uttered, "Fuck it, I'm in."
"What, really?"
"I am too. I don't think I can live any other way."
"Wow."
"Isn't this what you wanted? Don't tell me you're changing your mind now."
"No! I'm just, I didn't think it would be this easy." A tear rolled down my cheek and I quickly wiped it away.
"This relationship probably won't be, but we don't need to add any unnecessary stress to it." Jacob leaned up and kissed me again before leaning his forehead against mine. "We're all in this together, okay? For the long run."
"Yes, we are." Bella pulled my face from his and pecked my lips before laying her face on my chest. "Come on, let's sleep now. We'll tell the old men in the morning."
And so we did just that, snuggling under the covers and relaxing into each other's embraces.
