Its been awhile, ain't it? I see you just couldn't stay away, huh? Well here, I got the stuff. Real good quality, too. Usual payment, five lien and a soul. I'm sure you can get that much. Okay, you want a sample huh? Well go ahead, read on. Good quality, you won't be disappointed.
Day 1
I've finally arrived at Beacon, I'm told only the best fighters and academics are even allowed in. I'll have to make sure to keep up.
Funny I think that as two girls walk up to the school being as noisy as possible, one of them even exploded it looks like. Oh yeah, the best. I'm not here even three minutes before I start regretting it. Ugh, what the hell did I get myself into. Good thing I have this journal to keep my sanity.
Day 3
Well, I've now been placed in my team. Those two rowdy girls from before, I've learned, are named Ruby Rose and Yang Xiao Long. The one that actually exploded is Weiss Schnee, and she keeps going on about it. I know her, her family, her company, and all it's done. I have a funny feeling we wont get along.
But these other two, are a bit different. It seems they're sisters, and Ruby is the younger of them. I have Yang as a partner, but she seems to energetic and flashy for me. We probably wont get along that well, even if I wanted to. Not that I do, mind you.
Day 10
She keeps trying to get me to train and study with her. I'm not sure if it's because we're partners, or if she thinks I'll be able to help her or what, but so far I've been adamant. I'm not here to make friends, I'm here for a new life, to grow stronger so I can stand up for what I care about.
But honestly, what do you even care about nowadays, huh Blake? All you've done is flee your problems, If you cared about anything or anyone, wouldn't you have stayed and fought? That's right, you care for no one, and no one cares for you. That's how it's always been, and always will be.
She's calling me over again, can't she see me writing? Might as well go over to her, she won't stop unless I do. I swear, I've never been dragged around so much in my life. Why do I even let her? I don't get anything out of my trips with Yang except for wasted time. When will I stop humoring this childish, overly-muscular, strong, tall - w-what? She's a brute, that's all. Ugh, she's even affecting my writing skills.
Day 17
I'm finding less and less time for writing, or reading or anything else I like for that matter. Yang has continued to take up all free time I have. I've just grown complacent with her shenanigans, it seems. Easier to just let her do what she wants than to fight it, right? That's how I've always been, taking the easy way, never fighting for myself.
I had to take a moment to stop just now. A certain blonde was coming near, and I DO NOT need her snooping through private stuff. Of course, she just needed to see what I was doing, so I opened up to an empty page and acted like I just hadn't started yet. I don't know if she believed me, but she just went with it. I just wished she didn't get so close to me to read the page. She doesn't wear perfume, but she always has this lilac scent to her. I don't think even she knows about it, but confound it if I don't, with these faunus traits of mine. But aside from just smell, she kept invading my personal space, and I could feel her skin against mine as she held the book, even though I already had it in my hands. Either she didn't know that almost her whole arm had been pressing against me the whole time, or she didn't care. But it just makes me feel, quite odd to say the least.
Alright, so I might be a little bit physically attracted to Yang,so what? It's not unheard of to be attracted to others. Even if you aren't that close, hormones just take over sometimes. But that's all this is, nothing more.
Day 24
It's been almost a month since I arrived at Beacon. I've experienced more in this one month than I expected in a year. Also, it seems I might have to find a new place to hide this journal. I think Yang found it, because all day she's been telling me that if I need help, or if I feel bad about myself, I can talk to her about it. This troubles me, because either she found this journal, or I'm losing my edge. I would never let my emotions show, it's the easiest way to get hurt. I've been more relaxed around her than I used to, and I think I'm getting used to being out more than I ever would have alone.
I know she didn't just find this journal and read it, its safe and secure. I know it's just that she can read all the words and feelings I string across my face. And I know I'm not doing a good job at hiding anything anymore. I guess acting like I don't know its me, acting like some outside force is doing all this, is easier than just admitting I'm letting all the walls come down around me. Here we are again, taking the easier option. I'm just so... tired. I'm so tired of knowing I'm my own worst enemy, seeing how I throw out all the connections I make. I don't know why I feel this way, but I cant keep going like this, I can't keep this in forever. I'll either let it all out, or I'll break. I have to be strong and take the harder option eventually, or else I'll probably never get the chance.
Yang came back home a little while ago, I wonder if she's busy.
Day 52
It's been a while since I wrote in this last. Another whole month. I've been, uh, occupied. A lot has happened since the last entry. I talked to Yang, and I can only imagine how I looked when I came to her, tears streaming down and sobs catching in my throat. She held me. She just listened and held me. I don't know how much of it was even understandable, but she seemed to listen and take it all in. I cried more than I ever had in my life. But afterward, we just sat there for a while. I thanked her for being there for me, and said I was going to sleep for the night. I have not a clue what came over me, but for some reason, without thinking, I reached up and kissed her before walking off toward my bed.
I of course didn't get sleep at all that night, I was too busy being embarrassed. We didn't talk about it until a few nights later. I was planning on making it seem somehow platonic but obviously she saw through that. I eventually had to admit I had been attracted to her. She told me how she couldn't stop staring at me since the first time we met, and how she was dragging me out with her so that she could find something I liked, and just to spend more time around me. It feels a little weird to think about now that I've had time to think on all this, but I was just telling myself that I wasn't falling for Yang, and here she was going out of her way to get me to notice her feelings.
I still find myself thinking like I used to from time to time. But when images of blonde hair and lilac eyes pierce my thoughts, I can't think of anything else. In a relatively short span of time I fell in love, made peace with my team and taken steps to bettering my condition.
Yang is making some tuna fish sandwiches, I think I'll go see how she's doing. I'm sure she wants to butter me up for something. As if I'd turn her down.
Day, who knows, I've lost count.
This will most likely be my last entry. I used this journal to keep calm and collected and distracted in the past. I don't need it now. I've shared so much with Yang, I couldn't ask for a better journal of Blake Belladonna than her.
We shared our family histories, emotions, clothes, beds. Hell, we've even shared our first time together. I was surprised it was her's, but I won't complain. I've just talked about problems I had in this journal, never even mentioned the issues Yang had back then that I helped her through. I think it's about time to retire this old thing. It's kinda symbolic, I'm putting all these old feelings and self hatred in the past. It was another volume in my life, as I'm sure I'll continue making from here on. If I want to see those bad emotions in a positive image, I can look at it this way; If I never went through those hardships, I would never have connected and bonded with Yang like I did.
All in all, I don't regret a thing. Oh, it seems a certain beautiful blonde is calling for me. Time to bring this chapter to a close, so I can start a new one with the love of my life. She's even talking about getting married. It would sound crazy to a normal person to think of that so soon, but it is definitely a Yang thing to do, so why not.
As she stared at the end of the page, Yang couldn't help but think back to those times she experienced with Blake. Seeing it like this made it feel even more real somehow.
"Thanks again for helping me clean out this old stuff - oh, what's that?"
"Oh uh, just an old book." The blonde awkwardly said to Blake, not sure of how to bring up her old journal.
"Ah, that thing brings back memories. But here, lets take that out with the rest of the old stuff I don't need anymore."
"Well, if you say so Blake... But, if there were another part to the journal, what would it be like? Just for curiosity n' all." Yang questioned.
She got Blake's lips against her own in response.
"The End."
I won't lie, I wasn't expecting to make something like this as a hiatus ender, but I couldn't ask for a better one! It feels a lot longer than it is, to me that is. So here we have some insight into the time before the beginning, something I haven't done so far for some reason. Or I did and just forgot about, idk. But this is itself a beginning, of more to come! As long as I refuse to falter this fic shall not die! I'll be back to mah old Whiterose self soon enough, just wait! And if you can feel the excitement mounting, please follow/fav and drop a review, and I will see you all in the next installment. Byee!
