Act 2:
"Do you know why people like violence? It is because it feels good. Humans find violence deeply satisfying. But remove the satisfaction and the act becomes…hollow."
Alan Turing in 'The Imitation Game'
Chapter 3:
Hitomi smiled in awe while climbing the steps of the medical library near Energist Central this evening. The white building with its majestic façade fronted by large pillars was simply breathtaking. It was situated on the other side of the large hospital so she rarely saw it, even on work days.
She had spent most of her day off wandering through the bazaar near the palace and enjoyed watching carefree people there go about their day alongside her. While taking a break in the park to nibble on a scone from Meiden's, the pink paper bag her treat was wrapped in reminded her of the phone conversation with Millerna earlier that day.
It was still hard to believe that Millerna and Dryden, the probably wealthiest couple of Asturia next to the King himself, had come to their rescue at the pool. They were such kind, down to earth people. Millerna had helped more that day than Hitomi would still dare to admit.
More advice was given by the blonde physician during a chat on the phone in the late morning hours. Millerna had listened patiently when Hitomi told her about Van's absence and subsequent visual transformation.
Little did they both know that Millerna's adoptive son, Chid, was the main driving factor behind this particular change. Millerna assured Hitomi that progress was indeed being made and that, if she cared to take a look, the psychology section in the medical library could offer some more information.
After entering through one side of the large, heavy double doors with ornate handles, Hitomi instantly shivered a bit due to the drop in temperature. Luckily, she had opted for a pair of long, comfortable skinny jeans, but she rubbed her arms up and down a few times, wishing for a cardigan to pull over her faded, green shirt.
A vast, circular lobby featured marble floors, large potted plants, and dark wood accents. The reception desk was flanked by sets of wide, white stairways on either side which lead further into the building. A friendly looking librarian behind the main desk pointed her in the right direction and shortly thereafter, Hitomi found herself fascinated at the sight of the main hall.
Entire walls were overlaid by solid, old bookshelves which reached nearly all the way to the big, domed ceiling. Several ladders were attached to horizontal railings which allowed access to the higher up books. Covering the entire ceiling, a large fresco had been painted which depicted their planet, Gaea, flanked by some of its creators, the mystic people of Atlantis.
Four individuals in long, white robes, looking just like every other human on Gaea with the exception of large, white wings protruding from their backs, were eternally holding the planet in suspension between their outstretched arms.
It was said that even to this day, descendants of their race still lived among them. Thousands of years of breeding between Atlanteans and humans, however, had caused evolution to do away with the wings. Even though, it was rumored that some purebred Atlanteans were desperately trying to keep bloodlines as clean as possible to this day.
Hitomi passed between the long rows of large, wooden study tables on the quiet soles of her well worn, grey sneakers. Here and there, a student occupied some space. People were bent over tomes of varying size and age and studying in deep concentration or in some cases, sleeping on their folded arms.
The psychology section towards the back left corner was rather large but it didn't take long to find a book covering the topic in question: Mental Trauma. Hitomi took the selected reading material to the nearest table and switched on the reading lamp at that station. She placed her brown messenger bag next to her and began to read.
Hitomi skimmed some of the information in the front and selected a chapter describing the psychological changes of overwhelming experiences. This part listed some life events which were found to result in temporary or permanent trauma such as war, rape, civilian disasters, and abuse, as well as research done towards treatment attempts.
After some time of reading and digesting the material, Hitomi felt that she better understood the process of recovery from mental trauma. It was really quite fascinating but also made her heavyhearted thinking about Van. Immersing herself in this new information made her wonder just how severe his experiences had been to cause the kind of reactions she had witnessed from him so far.
According to this book, there were three phases of recovery: Phase one was regaining safety and stabilization. Phase two was remembrance and mourning. Phase three was reconnection and integration. Considering the detailed explanations, she judged that Van was stubbornly stuck between phase two and three.
Clearly, the underlying issue of Van's mental trauma was connected to the physical wound. However, his body's healing process was being slowed by his psychological state. He was functioning fairly fine, but the inner turmoil was quite evident. As long as he was being held captive by his own mind, he would not be able to fully recover.
All of this had been thought-provoking to learn and allowed Hitomi to make some more connections with what she knew about her enigmatical patient thus far. Closing the book, she decided that she had found out enough for the day. The large clock on the wall told her that if she hurried, she would still make the 6 o'clock bus.
After returning the book to its location, Hitomi stifled a yawn on the way out. Fresh air earlier today and the time spent in the quiet library had made her very tired. She smoothed the short hair on top of her head as the evening breeze ruffled it on the way down the wide set of stairs. The setting sun behind the skyline of Palas was making way to the soft blue tint of a cloudless evening sky.
It was warmer outside, but still considerably cooler than during mid-day. Getting home fast would be nice. Perhaps, a shortcut couldn't hurt to make sure she didn't miss that bus. At this time on Sundays, they only ran in thirty-minute intervals throughout the night.
A bit earlier that same afternoon, Merle returned from school only to find that Van had evidently been in a location she would not have expected; their garage. She parked her car in the driveway and grabbed her books from the passenger seat before entering.
The garage had always been very organized but was rarely used these days so she was even more surprised when she found several tools on the floor and a box of unknown purpose hooked up to the motorcycle that had sat in the far corner, wrapped in a tarp for over two years.
Her brother's bike sat in the middle of the garage, neatly cleaned and obviously close to being operational. The exterior was completely white while the frame and suspension shone in polished silver. He had bought it the day he graduated from the Specials military academy when the graduates were finally allowed to leave campus, live with their families again, and own more than just the standard issue set of belongings.
It was part of what had earned him the name: Dragon. White Dagon, to be precise. Not that either of their brothers was allowed to talk much about their jobs in the military, but this much she knew. Van would often ride the bike at neck-breaking speed and barely slow down past what was necessary to safely maneuver. It was almost as if he thought he was invincible then. As if nothing could ever touch him.
Merle wasn't sure if she should be excited that he was actually doing something, or worried. There were only two reasons he would make sure the thing was in operating condition; to ride it, or to sell it. Clutching the school books tightly at the thought of him riding it in his current condition or ever again really, she dearly hoped that the latter was the case.
She found Van by the kitchen sink, doing some dishes. He always helped her where he could although Merle made sure to do a lion share of the chores. It was a lot. School, work and taking care of the household, but she didn't mind and never complained. After all, it was just the two of them now and she had very nearly lost Van too.
Their parents passed, very untimely, several years ago. Goau Fanel had been a politician and member of the Fanelian embassy staff. He had met his wife, Varie, a mysterious woman of noble birth from a place far away in Asgard near the Mystic Valley, on a diplomatic trip. Although ardently vetoed by Varie's parents, a spur-of-the-moment wedding was the result, producing two sons down the road, as well as adopting Merle when she was still just a kitten.
Too young to remember her biological family, Goau and Varie were the only parents Merle ever knew and loved. Both had perished in a car accident one night, dead upon impact, while on the way home from the royal court. Van and Folken, 19 and 24 years old at the time, had been at their respective military installations then but were rushed home so the funeral arrangements could be made.
They couldn't stay, she knew and had to leave again shortly after. Merle had been alone in her grief for almost a year after that, but both her brothers made sure to call often and visit on holidays. This was before Van finally returned after graduating from the academy in Fanelia. Folken then decided that he preferred living with his siblings and commuting to the nearby base on the outskirts of Palas each day instead of living in the barracks. Van was assigned to the same base right after, which allowed him to also live in their house again.
Everything was a bit more normal finally when all siblings were united until Zaibach declared war. It required her brothers to stay in the barracks on base. She rarely heard from them then and when they did call, the conversations were short and mainly consisted of Van and Folken assuring her that they were fine and that there was no need for her to worry. Until she got a call from the officials one day…
"Hey, Merle." Van greeted her.
His sister seemed like she was wrapped up in thoughts when she quietly stepped into the kitchen, dropping her books on the small breakfast bar they preferred over the large dining table nearby. Normally, she would be the first one to greet.
"Hey." Merle smiled at him warmly before stretching her arms and tail in a languid fashion. "What a day, and it's not over yet. Got the late shift tonight at the diner." She brushed her hands across the wrinkles in her school scrubs absentmindedly.
Van furrowed his brow while wiping his wet hands on a dish towel and returning it to its proper place. When he turned around, Merle saw that his favorite red Henley and dark jeans were smeared with grease in a few places. Standing across from her as casually as this, also considering that his face was now always cleanly shaven again, he looked so much like before the accident. The thought instilled fresh hope inside of her.
His arms were crossed in front of his chest when Van voiced his concerns. "You know I don't like you working there. Especially not the graveyard shift."
Merle waved a hand in the air instantly, dismissing the matter just like always when he brought it up. "Don't worry about me." Now casually inspecting the razor sharp claws of one hand, she spoke. "If somebody were to underestimate me, they would have a rude awakening. Besides, Zongi usually walks us girls to our cars when we leave at night."
At the mention of the manager's name, Van's lip curled up a bit in unease. He didn't like the guy, but if Merle trusted him, maybe so should he. The man seemed to care enough about his female employees to make sure they left the diner safely. His little sister was not a child anymore and usually good at reading people; reading anybody but him, apparently. Maybe Merle's unconditional love for him had made her oblivious to Van's very obvious struggles regarding her.
"So… are you selling the bike?" Merle asked him with a hopeful expression underlined heavily by her large, blue eyes.
Van stared at her for a moment, taken aback, before simply answering. "No." For her to even suggest it irked him a great deal. She knew the machine still was his most prized possession.
"But Van. It's not like you can ride it again. It's far too dangerous!" Merle's voice rose to the usual pitch it took on when she was getting riled up about his health and for some reason, it got to him even more than usual.
Van's fingers dug into his upper arms, trying to keep his annoyance at bay. "What's the worst that could…"
"You could have an accident and die!" Merle's sharp voice interrupted him. "Your right leg…how would you even shift…"
"The gearshift is on the left." Van's answer interrupted her, conveying an obvious undertone of irritation.
"Well…still. It's still not safe….and you always go way too fast. Remember that one time you took me along?" Merle's tail puffed a bit at the thought.
"Won't ever forget it," Van grumbled and pushed past her into the hallway and heard her erratic arguments follow him all the way to the door of his room.
"I don't want you to ride it. You're going to have a stupid accident and hurt yourself even more and then it's going to take even longer for you to be normal again. Van, please! I just want my brother back! I want you to be happy again so badly." Merle almost choked on the last words when fresh tears welled up in her eyes and Van slammed the door behind himself more forcefully than he meant to.
Van leaned against the door and sank to the carpet slowly. He just couldn't take it anymore. Constantly seeing the expectation in his sister's eyes was beginning to drive him out of his mind. She thought he would be back to his old self eventually, but there was no way in hell he could ever recover that far. He would never be the same again. Never.
How could he, after what had happened? Surely, she would think differently about him if she knew. If she knew that he was to blame for Folken's death. It's what he feared the most, for Merle to hate him the way he hated himself.
Van could hear her on the other side of the door, sobbing, standing there debating whether she should knock, keep talking or just leave him alone. He silently begged her to pick the third option while clutching his head in both hands.
His wish was granted. Merle finally disappeared into her own room upstairs. Van waited until he heard her rummaging around above him before grabbing his cane and quietly leaving the house through the front door. His motorcycle wasn't fully charged yet and he couldn't take her car, but he needed to get away for a bit. The thick air their debate had caused filled the whole house and was threatening to suffocate him.
The bus station was only a short distance away, down at the end of the street. He fished for a few coins in his wallet and boarded the next bus, not caring where it would take him. It was quiet in there, so he leaned his head against the window and closed his eyes.
The movements of the vehicle were steady, rocking him from side to side a bit as it turned and stopped to let passengers in and out every now and again. One of Van's eyes cracked open when a larger group of young people entered. Their loud chatter was instantly annoying.
A girl's high-pitched laughter made his hair stand on end immediately, causing Van to grip his cane so tightly his knuckles turned white. Being around people who were this loud and obnoxious still made him feel extremely uneasy, to say the least. The first time he had taken a bus to go somewhere alone it ended quite badly, with him panicking and being almost literally kicked out.
Wanting to be proactive in preventing a similar outcome, Van took the next chance and exited at a station somewhere in downtown Palas. The streets around him were still a bit busier and here and there, a honking car made his shoulders stiffen. Being out here wasn't much better either.
Not wanting to return home so soon, Van meandered around the area for a while, catching a few people staring at him curiously every now and again. He found himself wishing for his black hoodie soon when the glance of a random young woman struck one of his nerves the wrong way. That damn cane. No doubt, it was the main reason he stood out so much. If not for that, he would be able to blend in and disappear.
It was then that he noticed the large tower of Energist Central's main building wasn't too far away. Perhaps, he thought, he should visit Eriya again. It bothered him that he had not been able to say what was on his mind when he and Merle were there the other day.
Visiting hours were definitely over, but he had no doubt Dr. Yurizen would grant an exception. Decision made, Van began to walk into the general direction of the building, carefully avoiding the busier roads in favor of some smaller side streets and alleyways.
Several minutes later, the sound of harsh voices reached his sensitive ears. It didn't sound like the casual conversations of passersby but had the malicious undertone of somebody threatening another person. Van hated bullies, no matter who they were or where they were from. His deeply rooted sense of honor overshadowed all apprehension with strong urgency.
When a familiar, female voice responded to the other one, his heart almost stopped beating. It was her, and it sounded like she was in danger. It only took him seconds to find their location. She was standing in a fairly dark alleyway around the corner of an even smaller, deserted side street.
A wide row of dumpsters and the smoke from a manhole in the ground at first obstructed the view but it was definitely Hitomi. What in the world was she doing in a place like this?
She sure was always good for a surprise. In the beginning, Van hadn't thought much of her. She had been kind and quiet, which had made him tolerate her more easily than others, but his perception of her had begun to shift gradually, with each time they met. He was even beginning to go so far as to admit that he liked her.
On the first day after he had decided to resume his treatments, he had overheard part of a conversation with the old man working in their records office. From what Van had gathered, the man had offered Hitomi to procure his complete file. Her reaction to the proposition had instilled a newfound admiration for the woman inside of him. Instead of showing curiosity, her answer showed nothing but indignation.
Sure, he could have perhaps addressed this incident with the manager, but what was the point? Anytime now, the Royal War Council could decide that evaluations were complete and then all files would be declassified. No doubt the press would jump at the newly available information in a heartbeat, tearing crudely stitched wounds open once more, rubbing their salt into them additionally.
In any case, Hitomi hadn't done anything wrong, and perhaps her passionate response had persuaded the guy to forget about his idea. It would only draw out the inevitable anyway.
At present, three shifty looking guys surrounded the woman in question, hands casually tucked into their pockets. The man closest to Hitomi had spiked, bleach blonde hair and wore a sleeveless denim jacket. His companions were dressed similarly with one having a long, black ponytail and the other short, curly brown hair slicked back with product.
Did they have weapons on them? Anger rose in Van's chest, but his training kicked in so he stayed calm on the outside. He didn't have a plan and neither was he in a state to fight three guys, should the need arise, but he didn't care about that at the moment.
Hitomi had her fingers clamped tightly around the strap of her messenger bag when the oldest of the three slowly brought one of his fingers under her chin. "Bet you had no idea this is our turf, sweetheart."
His two companions chuckled when she flinched and jerked her chin out of his reach. "You can have my stuff if that's what you want." Hitomi hissed in disgust.
"Oh, no." One of the fellows on the side laughed. "Relax, we're not thieves. We just want to have some fun, right Cavo?"
"Yep...all we want is...," the lowlife close to her muttered before trailing off. He was about to reach for Hitomi's shoulder when something caught his eye behind a dumpster.
"What the fuck do you want, dude? Get lost!" The guy on the very right, the one with the curly hair, yelled to a person behind Hitomi and narrowed his eyes.
She gasped when she turned to look and saw who the stranger was. "Van." She breathed his name in utter shock. "Get away!" She then yelled.
Was she crazy? Did she seriously think he'd just leave her there with these creeps? Van approached them as they closed in on him, leaving Hitomi behind.
"I'm not saying it again, asshole. Piss off!" The blonde guy barked.
"Or what?" Van asked, already steeling himself for the answer before it found a home in the form of a fist in his gut. He coughed a few times, shaking off the pain. The guy hadn't hit him very hard, but that would likely change soon.
Van heard Hitomi gasp behind him and glanced in her direction. "Run!" He yelled at her, but she didn't. Damnit.
"No! Don't hurt him, please!" Hitomi begged them from a safe distance. At least she was smart enough not to get physically involved. All three of the strangers continued to ignore her, their attention completely focused on Van.
Van didn't make any attempt to fight back when the man with the black ponytail grabbed his cane and, quite unceremoniously, snapped it into two pieces over his knee. "The hell are you carrying this around for, grandpa?" He grinned at his own lame joke.
Now the guy on the left yelled at Van. "What's wrong with you, moron?"
His fist hit the side of Van's head twice in a row when he turned in time to at least avoid a blow to his nose. Damn, he definitely was rusty but it didn't matter much either way.
Hitomi clasped both hands over her mouth in shock when she saw Van take the blows and only lowered them again to appeal to the vile men assaulting him. "Please. Stop it!"
Van staggered back a bit and narrowed his eyes as he felt warm blood welling up from where his skin had split under the impact of the man's knuckles. The scent immediately reached his nose and flashes of past training sessions with Balgus filled his mind before a kick to his mechanical leg brought him to the ground like a sack of rice.
Balgus would be shaking his head in disgust right now. Van had never enjoyed hand to hand combat. It had always only been a matter of duty. Rough pavement bit into the skin on the side of his back when the force of the kick caused him to fall and skid a few feet away from the group. Not too long after, another boot to the gut hit home so hard it caused Van to spit bile.
"Why aren't you fighting back, dude? Are you enjoying this?" One of the guys barked in disbelief.
"He hasn't made a sound, man. This is fucked up." The guy with the brown, curly hair stated in irritation.
"Shit. Look at his leg." The one with the black ponytail said in disgust. "He's a damn cripple."
The right leg of Van's pants had hiked up far enough to expose some of the silver material of his prosthetic between the denim fabric and the top of his worn combat boots.
"He probably was a soldier in that last war. Bet the loser got his leg blown off stumbling over a mine or something." The same guy said again, stepping away slightly. "Let's get out of here. I don't feel like messing with him anymore."
That said, they turned and retreated without further ado, but not without bumping their shoulders into Hitomi's in passing as she rushed towards where Van was still laying crumpled on the pavement. She dropped to her knees and was almost in tears when she gingerly rolled him from his side onto his back.
"Van. Van, please say something. Are you alright?" Hitomi frantically begged.
Van coughed weakly and finally nodded his head a bit. "…fine." He mumbled, briefly hung up on the sound of his given name coming from her lips.
"I've got to find a phone and call the emergency line." Hitomi decided and was about to get to her feet.
Van's hand shot up and grabbed her arm before she could move. "No… no emergency…no doctors…"
"But…you may have some internal injuries! They kicked you in the stomach." Hitomi insisted, clouds of concern very evident in her usually bright eyes.
"I'm fine. I promise." Van said, indeed sounding a touch better already than just a moment ago. "I don't want to go to the hospital. Last time I stayed there, I left without one of my legs."
Was he joking? Was he seriously joking? He hadn't smiled one single time around her since they met and now he was here, beat up, blood oozing from his face, and cracking jokes about very serious matters.
"Besides, it stinks there…" He added as an afterthought and pushed himself into a sitting position.
Hitomi still didn't feel like joking, even though it was evident that his true self, the one hiding deep inside, was trying to show itself for a moment. She helped him into a sitting position and was relieved to see that he was able to move alright so far. Maybe he was right.
"Fine. Then…at least let me bring you home." Hitomi offered when she watched him rub a sore shoulder.
He stopped and turned to focus her with his captivating eyes. "Sure. You got a car?"
"Well…no…" Hitomi suddenly felt that it was very hard to breathe but then forged a plan. "I'll hail a cab if we see one…. There may not be too many in this area, but the bus station is right through the end of this alley." She explained while watching him scan the ground for something.
"Oh no," Hitomi exclaimed when she realized what he was looking for.
She groped for the pieces of wood nearby and held the broken cane between them.
"I'm so sorry," Hitomi said regretfully. "I'll get you a new one."
"Don't bother," Van said as he pushed himself up and into a standing position. The muscles of his stomach cramped in protest when he tried to straighten himself fully.
Hitomi was at his side quickly and wrapped one of her arms around his waist. She felt him flinch a bit at the touch but his arm found its way around her shoulder automatically.
"You can lean on me. I'm stronger than I look." She offered in encouragement.
Van didn't doubt it for a second. She was not just energetic, kind, and extremely smart but also had an athletic build. Something he had noticed early on, not just at the pool where the lack of clothing had only confirmed his speculations.
He had been a bit of a heartbreaker before the war. A fair amount of women had found themselves attracted to Van's daredevil looks and personality but his family always came first, especially after their parents passed away. He never took the time to pursue a serious relationship after that. Not that something like that was a prime concern for him now or ever again, really.
Linked together by their arms, they walked out of the alleyway. Few cars passed them along the narrow street and no cabs were to be seen anywhere. The bus it was. Luckily, at least they didn't have to wait long and even though it was quite full in there at first, Van didn't feel completely uneasy this time.
It was as if Hitomi was acting as a shield between him and the other passengers. Like his own, personal aegis protecting him. Even when she produced a clean tissue from her bag and began to dab at the worst of the blood on his face, everyone completely ignored the odd couple in the last row.
He had told her where they needed to go and thankfully it didn't require for them to change buses. After exiting the large vehicle, their trip through the quaint neighborhood street took a bit longer due to them walking arm in arm, but Hitomi was patient as always.
When they turned onto a short gravel walkway, Hitomi scanned the property. The white, two-story house was fairly big, considering only Van and his sister lived in it. A number of garden beds flanked the walkway but nothing had been planted. Gardening, evidently, was not a priority here right now.
A wide porch fronted the whole length of the house and was enclosed with a low, white fence. The red front door featured a circular window protected by an overlay of wrought iron swirls. A detached, two car garage in the same color pattern sat next to the house. Behind the garage, Hitomi spotted the silhouette of a large tree with a lush canopy against the night sky.
Van looked to be feeling progressively better but still swayed a bit on his feet while he punched the code into the digital lock on the house door. He removed his arm from where it was resting across Hitomi's shoulders in favor of bracing his weight against the door frame.
A little hunched over still, Van took a few steps into the foyer and waited for Hitomi to close the door behind her. Even though he was clearly able to walk on his own by now, she still came back to his side to assist him. He didn't complain. From a wide, wooden bowl by the dresser across from them, he grabbed a small bottle of muscle relaxers and took one of the pills, swallowing it dry.
The large entrance area was decorated charmingly with various items of foreign origin and a large rug that looked like it had been procured from the bazaars of Freid long ago. Many pictures on the walls showed a man with dark hair and a beautiful woman with equally dark, long hair, as well as some that included the whole family. Hitomi was curious to see the details but Van was already moving.
Together, they entered the living room to the right so Hitomi could deposit him on the wide couch in the middle. The large seating area where they were now was the center focus of the large room. Around it, bookshelves lined the walls and windows on two sides would allow everything to be illuminated brightly during the day.
A heavy armoire against the wall behind her likely disguised a television set and behind the couch, another cabinet with a serving tray and crystal decanters indicated the presence of a well-stocked bar.
Having made herself more aware of the surroundings, Hitomi now scrutinized the cut on Van's cheekbone and the one on the side of his brow. It reminded her of the other, possibly much larger wound on his back. The pavement must have scraped him badly because his shirt was quite torn and dirty.
"Is there a first aid kit?" Hitomi asked as Van sank into the couch cushions.
He nodded. "In the bathroom," pointing at a door in another hallway behind them.
Hitomi dropped her messenger bag on the floor next to the low couch table and swiftly made her way there. She opened the door and entered the room he had indicated. It was tiled in light blue and grey and fairly big. There was only one larger cabinet and she was relieved to find the first aid kit immediately.
No doubt, his sister kept it well stocked. As a future nurse, she would naturally make sure they had an ample supply of medical materials in their home. Several pill containers also littered the shelves. Most of them treated pain and infections while others were usually prescribed to people with depression or anxiety. When she briefly glanced at them, some names were vaguely familiar to her.
Those type of drugs, in particular, appeared untouched, the orange bottles still completely full. Doctors must have tried to medicate Van to prevent any incidents but Hitomi had a feeling that he was never taking them.
It wasn't surprising. He was stubborn despite the injury and mental struggles. She closed the cabinet and placed the rectangular, white box on the couch table upon joining Van back in the living room. He was sitting with his arms resting on his knees, head hanging low like so often.
Hitomi didn't have to rummage for long until she found the supplies she needed and stepped up close to him. "Let me see your face, please."
First aid wasn't her strongest suit, but she would do what she could to prevent any more damage or infection. She was still a bit baffled that he had turned out to be her savior, especially since his involvement had endangered him too; sub-ideal, to say the least, considering his condition.
Van did as she asked and inclined his head towards her, causing his long bangs to slide away from his eyes a bit. It was the first time Hitomi was seeing them so up close and unobstructed. The outer ring of his iris was a dark brown, almost black, and only gradually turned into the piercing red that was so prominent, threatening to consume the pupil like a raging fire.
"It's not natural." Van startled her a bit and Hitomi instinctively jerked her hands back from where they had been hovering near his forehead. "The red color…"
Hitomi's face instantly felt a bit warmer when she realized that he had caught on to the reason for her staring.
The tenor of his voice was soft and it sent a rush of goose bumps down her spine when he spoke. "My eyes were brown when I was younger. They turned red when…" Van emitted a huff of frustration, cutting off his explanation. His eyes then flickered away, stubbornly focusing on the window on the side. "…forget it."
Hitomi's mind was racing. This was the most information he had ever freely offered her. She certainly was curious but the moment was too delicate to push for more and possibly cause him to shut her out again completely.
She carefully pushed a few more stray pieces of hair off his forehead and began to clean the cut that had partially torn through his eyebrow. The blood was still sticky and easily cleaned away, just like the one right across his cheekbone. Around the edges, the small wounds were beginning to bruise already, but at least neither would require stitches, as far as Hitomi could tell.
"I don't think these will scar too badly," Hitomi spoke softly, although Van's indifferent shrug reminded her that he probably wasn't particularly concerned about small cuts in the big picture of things.
Bending down towards the first aid kit again, she began to look for more supplies. "Turn sideways so I can reach your back, please." She said and heard him shift on the couch beside her in quiet compliance.
Hitomi settled next to him, kneeling on the floor while he sat slightly turned with his left leg on the floor and the artificial one bent sideways in front of him on the couch. She folded his ruined, red shirt halfway up his back and gingerly began picking small pieces of gravel and dirt out of the wound.
She winced, imagining how uncomfortable this probably was, but Van didn't even flinch. The shirt fell back in place along his side on an exhale and Hitomi folded it back up. It happened again soon thereafter, preventing her from working efficiently. She was relieved that it at least hadn't begun to stick to the drying blood during the trip to his house.
"Would you mind taking that off?" Hitomi asked when the hem of the shirt slid down for the third time.
Van reached behind his neck with both hands and tugged the garment over his head in a fluid motion to drape it across the back of the couch. Hitomi was much more at ease to be so near to him this time, even considering that they were in a much more private setting.
"Why didn't you defend yourself?" Hitomi eventually asked while she continued working on her task. This had been on her mind for a while now and she couldn't help but wonder.
It took several minutes for Van to respond and Hitomi thought he had chosen to ignore the question, but then he finally spoke up.
"People like hurting one another because it feels good," Van said, still looking straight ahead out the window across the room. "Me not reacting to it took the satisfaction away from them."
After a long exhale he continued. "Sometimes, it's necessary for others to make sacrifices…to prevent…" He trailed off and didn't finish the sentence, like before, suddenly appearing to be deep in thought.
Hitomi paused her actions for a moment when he stopped talking. The explanation was logical, sure, but how could he stay logical when human instinct would provoke a completely different kind of reaction? His behavior was so distinct from what anybody else would have done.
Reaching for the antiseptic, Hitomi said. "This is probably going to hurt. It needs to be cleaned well and most of the blood is nearly dry so I need to rub a bit more to get the dirt out." She warned him while dousing a white cloth with more of the green, pungent liquid she had already used on his face.
"I'll be fine," Van reassured her calmly.
Of course, Hitomi thought, slightly unnerved by his stubborn indifference. His breathing pattern never changed as she began to carefully rub away the various layers of remaining dirt and crusted blood. Neither of them spoke again while she worked.
When Hitomi was satisfied with the job, she cut a rectangle of gauze big enough to cover the area and dressed it with some ointment. Luckily, the wound had turned out to be fairly superficial. After she affixed it to his skin with some tape, one of her hands lingered on his back.
Hitomi's gaze fell onto his tan skin and followed the lines of black ink that formed the outlines of delicate feathers there. She hoped that the wound wouldn't scar and ruin the beautiful artwork underneath. Subconsciously, her fingers followed the trail of her gaze across his back when she gently traced the outlines of a feather near his spine.
Van turned to face her faster than she could blink and had her wrist in a tight grip. "What…what are you doing?" He asked in a voice layered thickly with some unfamiliar emotion.
Hitomi was still kneeling on the floor in front of him, their faces only inches away from each other. Her eyes were so wide and their green color so bright it made Van's mouth go dry. Her touch had been feather light and made him feel something he hadn't felt in a long time; a sensation that was unusual and caused not just his body but also his soul to tingle.
Hitomi didn't dare to move. Millerna's voice began to ring in her head although she attempted to push it away at first. He needed a gentle soul, a giver. The thought made her swallow in uncertainty and caused her heart to pound more forcefully for a few beats before slowing down again.
Van's grip on Hitomi's wrist was tight but she didn't try to pull it away and he didn't seem to plan on letting go. Apparently trapped in place, she became brave and lifted the other hand to slowly, carefully take his free hand in hers.
He was always so warm, no matter when she touched him, but this was the first time Hitomi consciously registered it. The back of his hand was warm when she traced small, slow circles on it. Likewise, his forearm was warm when she brushed her hand up and down slowly and felt the thin layer of dark hair under her fingertips. The smooth skin covering his biceps was warm, too, when her hand wandered across it.
Visible vascularity accentuating the veins on his arms, as well as sinew of muscle showing through his skin was a testimony for how lean his body was becoming. It was still stubbornly holding on to some mass but if he didn't start eating well and working out again soon, he would become too weak to stay physically healthy.
Van's heart was beginning to pump faster and harder. Her gentle touch was causing sensations he hadn't been prepared to feel. Small bouts of shivers shook his entire body and he was at a loss for what to think or how to react.
It was admittedly, oddly good and calming to be touched, but of course, very much unlike when his sister tried to console him. She had often attempted to hug him, but he just couldn't bear it for various reasons. This, however, this was entirely different.
Hitomi was the only person he had encountered during his long road to recovery who didn't feel the need to push him, who just let him be whatever he needed to be. She was patient and kind, which offered him a chance to work through everything at his own pace.
These thoughts made Van calm down a bit and eventually also relax his tight hold on Hitomi's wrist, but still didn't let go. He didn't want to let go. It was pleasant to have her near him, touching him in ways he hadn't been touched in well over two years.
Hitomi's fingers were now slowly tracing the shape of his collarbone and following it towards the center of his chest, skipping over the thin gold chain that held his pendant. Her gaze did break away from his when she observed her fingers which were trailing across the Fanelian crest and dragon on his left pectoral.
The ink lines were intricate enough to give the dragon a face and scales. The beast was wrapped around the Fanelian crest in a loose circle. Van's heart was beginning to thump again more strongly when Hitomi carefully flattened her small hand against it. No doubt, she could tell what he was feeling. Somehow, she always seemed to feel it too.
Van's body acted on its own accord when he reached for her. His free arm wrapped itself around Hitomi's back and pulled her off the floor, into the free space in front of him on the couch. Her legs folded on either side of herself and their faces were so close their noses almost touched. A bit of a red tint was visible on her pale cheeks.
Hitomi didn't protest, either because she was too shocked or because she didn't mind, when he finally released the grip on her wrist and brought his other arm around her too. A long breath escaped him when he pulled her slender form against his chest in a tight embrace. She must have not minded, because her own arms immediately worked their way around his neck. Hitomi's head came to rest on his shoulder and he could feel her hot breath on his skin.
Such closeness was alien to her too, he felt it very clearly. The way she was clutching at the bare skin of his back and the stiff, awkward way she sat while simultaneously trying to mold herself against him showed it. She had her own struggles, as evidented by her feeble emotional state weeks ago. Perhaps, this embrace wasn't only going to be calming just for him.
Van suddenly felt the overwhelming urge to soothe whatever was causing her pain deep inside. He somehow felt for this gentle woman like she seemed to feel for him without even knowing any details or needing to ask questions. She was hurting and that was all he needed to know.
Carefully, he transferred one of his hands to the base of her neck and began to thread his fingers through her short hair. Her arms around him tightened in response, the intimacy of his gesture having startled her.
"Shh, …it's okay…" He whispered softly. Van had no idea where his actions were coming from all of a sudden. He continued to run his fingers across her scalp in a slow, caring manner and the tingle of it seemed to relax her considerably.
It was so unbelievably good to be held, to be cradled against another warm body and embraced tightly. Hitomi's heartbeat slowed to a calm pace at the feeling of Van's fingers running through her hair. It made her toes curl and her breathing become deeper and more serene.
Lids becoming heavy and closing halfway, she focused on the view of his pulse beating on the side of his neck. It was soporific, the way the small contractions caused his tan skin there to twitch. The view was so hypnotic that she inched a hair closer and pressed her lips against the spot in a soft kiss.
The touch of her lips caused the small contractions to quicken considerably. Funny, she thought, that a small gesture like this could have such an effect on his whole circulatory system. Still in a bit of a trance, she was so fascinated that she did it again, taking some time to let her lips linger there before pulling back.
After she broke away, Van's Adam's apple bobbed shakily before his hand, still buried in her hair, guided her head away from his shoulder. His face was masked with an unreadable expression. The red color of his eyes appeared even darker behind ebony bangs and pierced through the space between them. When Hitomi's mouth gaped open a bit, the sight of her kindled something dormant inside of him.
Tension built as the seconds were ticking by. They looked at each other for several heartbeats until Van made the move. It was anything else but logic when he lowered his head and brushed his lips across hers in the lightest of touches. The gentle action had a devastating effect. Feeling her soft, smooth lips against his was instantly addicting.
Sensing no resistance from her, he repeated the gesture with a bit more pressure. Small sparks seemed to shoot from the intimate connection of their lips through Hitomi's whole body. Van's hot breath mingled with hers while they separated again, but stayed close enough for their noses to softly bump against each other.
When Van repeated this action a third time, he tilted his head and slanted his lips against Hitomi's, allowing himself to savor the sensation more thoroughly. Completely caught up in her soft, giving lips against his, Van reclined onto the plush cushion behind his back. He was entirely careless of anything but the woman in his arms.
Hitomi followed freely and fell between his legs, bracing one arm on the pillow beside his head while the fingers of her other hand splayed on his solid chest. Tightly pressed together, there was no room for any coherent thoughts.
Van's hand was at Hitomi's nape, keeping her head from moving too far away while they stopped to gasp for air in between slow, heated kisses. His breath was feverishly hot on her face and what little red was visible in his eyes behind heavy lids and dark lashes seemed to be smoldering by now.
She tasted so sweet and the way her lips were sliding back and forth across his was unbelievably good. Their lips danced across each other almost painfully slowly for some minutes, tongues only lightly touching here and there.
Van's other hand had found its way to Hitomi's waist where the green shirt she wore had hiked up a bit, exposing some bare skin. His fingers there were carefully caressing what was available with a little hesitation but didn't stray any further.
Again, their lips found each other, turning and moving together and creating a sensation that was so electrifying it caused Van to finally release Hitomi's head. His hand settled on her upper back for a moment and gradually veered to the side, tracing the shape of a shoulder blade.
When the side of his thumb brushed the swell of one of her small breasts on the way down her ribcage, a barely audible noise escaped Hitomi's mouth which sent small vibrations across their lips and made Van's eyes snap open.
After they broke the deep kiss, they both were panting a bit. Hitomi appeared quite dazed but even through the varnish of passion in her eyes, traces of fear were visible to Van. She was not the only one who was shocked, though, about what they had just done and he hoped that she knew this.
One of Van's hands came back up to carefully cup one of her cheeks and she seemed to enjoy the touch, closing her eyes until slowly lowering the side of her head against his shoulder and adjusting her arms into a more comfortable position. It made her feel secure to be with him like this, to have his arms wrapped around her, sharing this indescribable feeling of safety only the care of another person could provide.
Van's hand then returned to its idle work from before and she almost found herself purring when his fingers lightly brushed through her hair again, combing through the silky strands and dragging across her scalp. It didn't take long for Hitomi's eyes to close in relaxation and for her breathing to even out until she fell asleep right where she lay.
It wasn't exactly comfortable for Van, the way they were piled up on the couch, but the softness of her small, curvy body and the slow movements of her rising and sinking chest were now adding another layer of tranquility to the situation. Not too long after, the combined effect of the drugs and Hitomi's peaceful form resting against him caused Van to drift off aswell.
It was only a while later when Hitomi's hand moved slightly in her sleep and her fingers grazed the pink pendant which had slipped from Van's chest to the pillow on the other side. Deep inside of it, the small item began to glow and illuminate Hitomi's dreamless sleep, pulling her into the vortex of its central storage.
Everything happened very quickly again, just like at the pool. In the fraction of a second, her conscience was transferred somewhere else. Ear shattering bangs could be heard from all around. Incessantly whizzing and beeping alarms were threatening to make her eardrums burst, and nausea filled her stomach as vertigo claimed her head due to the wild movements her mind was subjected to.
The smell of sweat was instantly prominent, as was the feeling of panic rising in her throat. But why? Just when her vision was starting to clear and beginning to give her an image too, a green screen with a targeting cross covering her right eye appeared, only to have it removed shortly after. For the fraction of a second, she saw nothing but destruction and smoke through cracked glass.
This concluded the brief connection because Hitomi's mind refused to take any more of it. After a slight twitch, her eyes shot open and she found herself gasping for air and shaking uncontrollably as if the experiences were her own and had caused her body to react accordingly.
Hitomi immediately raised her head to check on Van. Completely dead to the world, his warm, solid chest was still rising and falling rhythmically under her hand. The muscle relaxer he had taken probably had him out cold. She remembered how this particular drug worked from when she had needed to take it years ago for an injury of her own.
Her throat began to tighten at the sight of him. His face looked peaceful like she had never seen it before, minus the cuts, and his arms were still loosely draped around her waist, fingers twitching a bit across her exposed midriff when she pushed herself into a more upright position.
The combined effect of confusion about the weird dream and trepidation about their intimate encounter caused Hitomi to begin breathing so heavily that a wheezing sound was audible on each exhale. What on Gaea had they done? How could she have let his happen? Was she completely out of her mind?
She couldn't do this. She couldn't stay. She wasn't ready and he was a patient. How could she have been so stupid! She had to leave. Now. Fast. Before he woke up. She couldn't talk about anything while her mind was so terribly discombobulated.
With shaky hands, she carefully disentangled herself from him and lifted his surprisingly heavy arms off her waist. Thank the gods for the sleep-inducing side effect of that drug. He didn't even bat an eye when she gingerly placed his hands across his stomach and rose from the couch.
Although it was warm in the room, she immediately felt the loss of his heat against her body. Her mind, however, was back in charge now and it only took a bit of convincing to tear her eyes away from his sleeping form and gather her things.
Before she snuck out the door her eyes darted back to Van once more, stubbornly disobeying her one last time. His black bangs were swept to the side, giving her a good view of his handsome face and the sight made her fingers itch a bit, longing to reach for his elegant looking jaw.
His usually tense, lean body was sprawled out across the whole length of the couch, with his left leg still hanging off the side and his mechanical one bent slightly and pushed closely against the couch cushions. The sharp lines of his muscles were relaxed under his tan skin and it brought a small smile to her face to see him so at ease.
Hitomi administered a mental slap to herself and finally tore her gaze away from the picture. The front door clicked behind her quietly on the way out. Although it was completely dark now, she was relieved to find that only two hours had passed. Clutching her messenger bag to herself tightly, she hurried down the street in hopes of having run quickly enough to leave behind whatever she had found in this man's arms.
Tbc…
A/N: It was very disturbing for me to refer to Van as a 'cripple'. People with disabilities are very near and dear to my heart due to a special family member who passed away too early years ago. This happened before I had the chance to tell them about an exciting event in my life. I regret to this day not having had the opportunity to do so although I know it was outside of my control. Sorry to end this with such a downer. Truly, life is good.
I haven't said much about this story because there isn't much to say. I try to do a good amount of research to make sure the medical details are plausible. If you are a physical therapist, study psychology, or are a subject matter expert in other regards, you probably know way more than I do. Hope it's still neat to read.
Thank you to everyone who took the time to review. It means a lot to read your thoughts about my story. Its quality definitely surpasses the previous ones.
