Act 3, Chapter 6:
The main thoroughfare of the bazaar was busy as any Saturday. Especially the clothing and shoe sellers were well-visited. In the row of colorful brick buildings, nearly all were constructed so that the top shutters opened in a horizontal fashion and were propped open by long poles to form awnings of different sizes. The bottom shutters folded out to create a space for the sellers to display their wares.
Groups of people, large and small, were littering the main walkway and narrower alleys in between while two young women stood by an inviting display. Hitomi was quietly inspecting a messenger bag, similar to the one she was carrying but nicer and newer. While Yukari was standing next to her, patiently letting her friend take a gander at it, the redhead's mind was not quite so at rest.
Hitomi was being infuriatingly closemouthed about a few things today. Namely the ones most profoundly interesting to Yukari. The more she pried for information, the more recalcitrant Hitomi became. To hell with Rumh's advice. She was becoming increasingly impatient and the tapping of her foot on the cobblestones and drumming of her fingers on the wooden display clearly showed it.
With surprisingly soft words, Yukari had attempted to wheedle information all afternoon but Hitomi couldn't be swayed. It made the redhead downright irritable. Zipping the bag up all the way, Hitomi nodded to the merchant inside the shop, indicating that she wanted to make the purchase.
She fished around her own purse for her wallet and halted when her fingers found something unfamiliar. Brows slightly furrowed, she pulled out the item and froze. It was one of Van's motorcycle gloves. She had completely forgotten they were still buried down in that black hole. Before she could shove the thing back inside her bag, Yukari already had snatched it out of her hand.
"What is that?" Her friend asked, scrutinizing it closely. "That definitely belongs to a guy. Hitomi, for real. You have some explaining to do."
Yukari's growing irritation had become so blatantly obvious in the past hours that it was hard to ignore. All loyalty and patience aside, her friend really was not good at hiding things like that. She had politely scaled back the verbal assertions so far, but Hitomi had been friends with her long enough to know what Yukari was really thinking.
Hitomi attempted to retrieve the leather glove from her but with Yukari firmly holding on to it and hiding it behind her back, there was no point in prolonging the spiel. No matter how much she wished she could turn back time, it wasn't going to happen and she didn't want to lose Yukari's friendship over it either.
"Buy your bag and then let's talk. You seriously owe me an explanation. I don't know how to deal with this anymore. You are my best friend. All I want is for you to be safe and happy and I just can't…I don't know how to help not knowing what's bothering you." Yukari's earnest concern was finally just as evident as her irritation had been moments before.
Hitomi sighed in defeat. Perhaps, even though there was currently nothing she hated more than the thought of somebody else knowing, she should trust her friend whose mouth was just about as big as her heart.
"Fine." Hitomi shrugged as she rummaged through her bag again, briefly grazing the glove's companion inside it before finally finding her wallet. She paid and accepted the shopping bag from the merchant before following Yukari through the less busy aisles to a bench near the promenade by the marina.
Fishing boats, as well as large merchant vessels, were lined up to the left and right as far as the eye could see. Palas harbored one of the largest trading ports in all of Gaea and the bazaar was one of the largest in the country, many of its wares hitting the shelves as soon as the merchant vessels unloaded their goods.
Hitomi pulled the second glove out of her bag and Yukari finally let her have the other one back. She piled the soft, brown leather on her lap while staring at them, trying to come up with a good way to begin her explanation.
"They belong to him, don't they?" Yukari lifted the burden of the first sentence. There wasn't a need to actually say his name. Her face was an expression of stony apprehension when she placed a hand on Hitomi's shoulder.
"Yeah," Hitomi admitted. "He came to the hospital the other day and lost them. He was so angry…"
Yukari wasted no time getting riled up about Hitomi's words. "What did he do to you?" She exclaimed, balling her free hand into a fist. "If he hurt you, I will go get my shovel right now!"
Hitomi immediately shook her head. "No Yukari. It's not like that. The complete opposite happened," she hedged. "Actually…we…we kissed." Cutting right to the chase, she covered her flushed face with both hands, rubbing it furiously in an attempt to stay calm at the thought of it.
"What?" Yukari was completely stunned and at a loss for words, which was very uncharacteristic for her. "…but how?"
Shoulders raising and then slumping in defeat, Hitomi answered her while shaking her head. "It's sort of my fault. I started it. Ugh, …it's complicated. I'm so sorry Yukari. I have been trying my best to avoid thinking about it but I'm just so confused. It's not that he didn't want it either…we both did…it felt…it was so good at that moment but I don't know why we..."
Hitomi then began to tell her friend everything from the beginning, starting with the night at the library and ending it where Van had dropped her off at her apartment just a few days prior. The whole time Yukari listened attentively, not interrupting but reacting appropriately at key moments. When Hitomi was done telling her story, she finally met Yukari's eyes.
The redhead was stunned. "Oh, my…this truly is a mess."
"Right," Hitomi agreed. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I was just scared somebody would find out and what negative repercussions would come of it for Caeli. My conduct wasn't exactly professional."
"Oh bother." Yukari gesticulated wildly with her hands at the mention of this. "I can't believe the clinic is your main concern here. Your loyalty and integrity are admirable, really…but you can't always expect to be acting so freaking responsible. You're human after all."
A huge boulder detached itself from Hitomi's heart and fell, crumbling to pieces it plummeted away like a landslide. Contrary to what she had been telling herself, deep down her own feelings were more important to herself than she had allowed herself to believe.
Once again, it had only taken Yukari's display of unquestionable support for her to realize it. Hitomi was truly grateful to have a friend like her.
She could have hugged her, squeezed the redhead if Hitomi hadn't already been so caught up in the thoughts and worries which trailed along behind the explanation. What was she supposed to do about it? In all likelihood, everything would just eventually become water under the bridge. Yeah. A mistake made in the spur of the moment. Van probably regretted it too. He had to.
It's why he never tried to kiss her again the other day although there had definitely been an opportunity or two. Van certainly had looked like he was contemplating it at least, but then something had made him reconsider. Most likely, Hitomi had completely misunderstood the signals. Why were her thoughts wandering down this path anyway?
It was only a few days later that Van received a courtesy call from Dr. Yurizen. As a former high-ranking member of the military, he had been informed that the War Council had finished its inquests of all Destiny War related mission reports. In the closing procedures, Van would probably be ordered to appear in front of a board to receive his formal discharge from military service.
Not just that, but all records would be declassified and become publicly accessible. Due to the lack of more sensational topics of late, the press would likely be pouncing on newly available war-related material like a pack of starved wolves. So the time had come. The time to tell his sister everything.
Van decided to get it over with that same evening. Clearing the table was something he had been mentally preparing for over the course of the past months but never felt quite ready. After Merle had returned from school, still wearing her scrubs and without a chance to eat dinner, Van asked her to sit on the large couch in their living room. Her face had been impassive for a while after, until she erupted in tears like never before.
Not tears of anger and accusation, though, as he had expected. They were tears of sorrow and compassion. His beloved sister was weeping not only for Folken, Balgus and the neko twins but also for him. To say that Van was taken aback would have been an understatement. He had prepared, steeled himself for accusations and disappointment but not to be pitied.
Although Merle's reaction confused him, he patiently held her in his arms as she sobbed into his shirt, darkening the black fabric even more with her tears in the process. She assured him over and over again that she loved him, and that she was unbelievably grateful for his survival. It perturbed him even more to hear this. Maybe, the shock of finally hearing what had happened was messing with her brain's ability to fully comprehend that he was personally responsible for Folken's death.
After a while, Merle was so exhausted that Van had to carry her to her room. It was something he hadn't had to do in years but his sister's strong façade had been completely shattered by the recount and there was nothing else he could do now but let her mull things over and see if time would change her perception.
When Van descended the stairs he halted a moment, his mechanical leg hovering in mid-air above the last few steps. Bright, green eyes were suddenly and very prominently on his mind. Bright, green eyes that were becoming unfocused and filled with disappointment upon learning about his role from sensationalist, biased sources. Sources which would no doubt do anything to make the whole thing sound even more horrifying than it already was.
He somehow couldn't bear the thought. Why it bothered him so, Van wasn't certain of but there was only one way to ensure that Hitomi received an unaltered recount of events. After all she had done, after having shown true compassion, she deserved the unaltered truth.
Van found the pendant in its usual location under his shirt and grabbed it through the fabric, rolling the small stone between his thumb and index finger. He hadn't dared to show Merle. She would have been even more devastated. The sight of Folken's corpse was something he wanted to spare her at all cost. It was already enough that she had been around Van from the moment he got out of surgery and witnessed his recovery in such gruesome detail.
Resuming his descent, Van began to act upon his decision without hesitation. If he kept on mulling it over for much longer, there was a good chance that he would begin to doubt himself. There was no time for doubt.
When Van went to retrieve his motorbike from the garage, the sun was already setting and thin raindrops began to fall. Lingering heat from the warm summer day in combined with precipitation caused the warm asphalt to steam. With luck, he would make it to Hitomi's apartment before it began to dump.
Having no passenger this time, Van paid no mind to how fast he was going. The raindrops, growing larger by the minute, pelted onto the visor of his helmet and soaked into his jeans and jacket. It wasn't far anymore and quite frankly, he didn't even care.
Van's plan only had one small fault, he realized when he arrived at Hitomi's apartment complex. Although he had remembered the way there, he had failed to pay attention to what floor and unit she lived in. He had been too lost in thought and too busy staring at her small form climb the steps of the exposed stairwell and walkways the other night.
After dismounting and locking the bike, he decided to leave the helmet on the seat this time. The rain was falling steadily by now but he still walked towards the stairs on the right side of the building at a casual pace, as if stalling for time. Finally, more resolve followed. Taking two steps at a time, he decided to aim for the third floor. The building only had five floors and it was his best guess at the moment.
It was an entirely arbitrary choice when he walked up to the fourth door in the row of apartments. With an air of confidence that was quite incomprehensible considering his aversion for people, he rang the doorbell. A brief silence was followed by slow shuffling until the door cracked open and an ancient looking lady stuck her head out.
Van nervously ran a hand through his damp mop of hair in a futile attempt to appear more presentable. The gesture was completely unnecessary and rather too late because the old lady's eyes narrowed instantly before she slammed the door in his face without a word. Some muffled curses were audible through the door and the words 'homeless scoundrel' may have been mentioned.
Blinking, Van quickly checked his appearance. His usual, red, faded jacket and jeans which still sported several spots of grease on them in combination with the tousled hair sure didn't convey the best image. In addition to that, he was a bit wet all over from the rain. The soles of his combat boots squeaked on the tile floor when he slowly turned and made his way down to the next door, intentionally skipping the old lady's neighbor.
He had a bad feeling about it and was afraid the woman's foul temper could have carried over into the adjacent apartment. Van's next attempt was even less fruitful, rendering no response at all even though a TV was blaring so loudly from behind the door that Van could understand every word of the murder mystery which was being watched.
Certainly, this couldn't be Hitomi's apartment anyway. She wasn't the person who would be into that sort of entertainment. A young man around his age living in the next place over simply shook his head and closed the door, seemingly too busy to even pretend to care.
When Van arrived at the last door, his shoulders were already slumped before he even knocked. What a dumb idea this had been. Not entirely thought through well at all and even more terrible in its execution. When the door opened, he immediately took a step back in shock.
A rather pretty, young woman with shoulder-length brown hair stood in the doorway clothed only in a camisole and rather revealing underpants. "Why hello!" She smiled in surprise but rather seductively so. Shifting her weight from one leg to the other and jutting out a well-shaped hip in the process, she pored him over curiously. "How can I help you, handsome stranger?"
Van's eyes darted from her face down to her exposed legs, back up to her thin camisole and finally found a comfortable spot to focus on, near the woman's shoulder. Training his gaze at the coathanger on the wall behind her, he mumbled. "I'm...looking for Hitomi Kanzaki."
The young woman's face fell a bit in disappointment but a playful twinkle remained in her blue eyes. "She doesn't live here."
"Oh. Alright, sorry to bother you." Somewhat grateful for the short but unhelpful interaction, Van was already moving to turn and walk away but then a tug on his sleeve caused him to halt. A bit apprehensively he turned and gracefully pulled his arm away from the woman who had followed him.
Despite the awkward situation and her suggestive body language, the woman smiled at him kindly now. "Hey, wait..." she stopped Van. "Hitomi lives downstairs in unit 23."
Relieved beyond measure, Van finally met her face with an honest and grateful expression. "Thank you." He said before finally extracting himself from the scene.
While he hurried towards the stairs rather fast, he could hear the woman address him again. "If Hitomi isn't home, feel free to come back! Shame if a cutie like you had to go back out in the rain."
Van's face flushed immediately when the words reached him, so he did what he was fairly good at by now. Feigning ignorance. In another life, he would perhaps have been amused. After less than a minute, his knuckles hovered near the brass digits of unit 23's dark wooden door.
It was completely silent inside, indicating that Hitomi was either not home, sleeping, or doing something otherwise very quiet. Suddenly very unsure, Van retracted the hand several inches before finally making up his mind again and forcing himself to rap the door with a bit more force than he had intended.
A firm knock on her door startled Hitomi so much she almost dropped the book she was reading. After marking the page and putting it on the coffee table by the couch, she adjusted her grey sweatpants and the white tank top she was wearing. She wasn't really dressed for company. Who could be wanting to see her so late and without an announcement no less? Maybe it was Yukari.
A bit warily Hitomi cracked the door open to check who was there. Living alone as a young woman surely had its drawbacks sometimes. When she saw who was waiting on the other side, she immediately opened it further, so at a loss for words all she could do was stare. He was the last one she had expected to find out there.
"Uhm..hi," Van said quietly. The way he was standing there, absentmindedly rubbing the back of his neck, he looked a bit nervous.
"Hi," Hitomi answered rather unintelligently.
There she was. Part of him had hoped she wouldn't be home but she was standing right in front of him. The casual clothes she was wearing indicated that she was spending a quiet evening by herself. It seemed rather typical.
They stared at each other for almost a minute before the silence became so awkward that Van felt compelled to ask. "Can I come in?"
"Ofc…of course" Hitomi stuttered and moved a step away from the door so he could enter.
Both were somewhat frustrated with their own inability to come up with more suave things to say while Hitomi closed the door.
After Van brushed past her in the narrow space, Hitomi was momentarily overwhelmed when she registered the changes his presence brought into her private space. Closing the door cut off the cool breeze wafting in from outside and entrapped her in the smell and sensations of fresh rain which clung to him. It was making the warm air of her apartment strangely humid where he stood right across from her.
Mild euphoria washed over Hitomi like a warm shower when her heart began to sing for reasons unknown, but his serious expression was instantly sobering. "What's up?" She asked rather directly, proud to be able to convey herself in a somewhat cool manner around him at least on the exterior.
Hitomi's composure, however, crumbled again quite fast when Van reached up to brush away a lock of damp hair that had attached itself to his forehead. He looked impossibly dreamy in his current state. It was infuriatingly distractive.
"I…I'd like to show you something." He began to explain clumsily. "It will explain everything about the accident and…some other things. That is if you want to…know."
Hitomi stood across from him, holding her breath and observing him carefully while he talked. Was he offering to bare his past to her? The events which had shaped him into the man who he was today, both metaphorically and physically? She exhaled slowly and quietly, then nodded her head.
For a brief moment, Van hoped that she would say no. Hoped that he would prove himself to be wrong about her. That she didn't care this much after all. It was a scary thing, to become attached to somebody so much so that Van felt the pressing urge to share his past. To offer it to her so that she could weigh and measure the implications of what being close to him meant.
"Should we sit down?" Hitomi asked, weakly motioning to the small couch not far to the side.
Van sighed quietly. "Yeah probably."
While Hitomi padded over to the couch on bare feet, Van followed and took off the wet, red jacket. While Hitomi sat, regarding him with expectation, he chose to deposit it on the arm of the couch, remaining standing and clearly in thought, working out how to best begin.
It took him a few moments but no matter how much he pondered it, there wasn't a good way to embellish anything. "Remember when I told you the color of my eyes isn't natural."
Hitomi only nodded numbly, remembering the occasion precisely, especially because of what had followed later on.
Van reached for the thin chain around his neck and fished the pink pendant out from under his black shirt. He held it out in front of him, the stone dangling back and forth in a perfect rhythm. "This is a memory storage device. It's experimental technology from Basram the allied forces got their hands on years ago and were testing on some of us. When the connection with me was established after I joined the Specials academy, my eyes somehow changed color due to the interface overlaying my visual synapses."
Already, his words were making Hitomi crease her brows but she knew better than to interrupt him.
"The military has some of my memories stored in a digital archive. Mostly for testing but also as mission record supplements. One file, in particular, relates to the mission in which I lost my leg...but I've got everything on here I experienced since my memories were merged with it, not just that one." Van continued.
Hitomi had momentarily forgotten about the mechanical leg. He looked so ordinary, standing in her living room in the black shirt and jeans, a bit damp all over from the rain.
"I won't just tell you. I can show you." Van emphasized. "With the pendant."
Hitomi's eyes widened a bit. "That's…I…is that why I've briefly seen...something…before?" She asked in astonishment.
Van cocked his head, the hand holding the pendant falling to his side. "What do you mean? His eyes were full of confusion.
"Well…I think it was only twice really. When you fished me out of the water at the pool and the other time at your…after we…" Hitomi felt a rush of heat creep across her skin when she became aware of what she was about to say.
Van's eyes darted to her lips briefly without either of them taking note.
Choosing a different approach, Hitomi continued. "There were some moments where I thought I was spacing out or having a very short, weird hallucination. Both times I felt like I was in some sort of violent scenario but it was too short to see much."
"The war. The accident. It's…always on my mind. The memory device showed you somehow." Van shook his head a bit in thought. "That's never happened to anyone around me before but as I said it's experimental technology. It may mean you will have an easier time connecting with my thoughts."
Millerna's voice rang in Hitomi's head again although it had been a while since she last spoke to the blonde physician. If there is a connection of any kind...it's kind of like fate...
Hitomi refrained from telling Van about it. The theory seemed too utterly romantic in many ways. Especially when taking Van's guarded behavior from the other day into account.
Van interrupted her train of thought. "Although, I don't know how vivid everything will be for you. In theory, it should be like watching a movie." He still stood in front of Hitomi, gauging her reactions. "I've never shown anyone before. I'm not sure how it's really going to be for you."
Hitomi shifted a bit on the couch, gripping the seat cushion on her sides while looking up at Van. "I trust you," she said while her bright eyes regarded him earnestly.
Once again, Van had briefly hoped that she would change her mind. The newfound information about her previous connection with the stone made him hesitate briefly before he conceded to his own need of following through with what he had offered. To explain everything.
"Okay…then," Van said while brushing the necklace back over his head. "It may be better if you lay down and…" Van pushed the small coffee table beside him away while Hitomi folded her legs up on the couch and watched him take a seat on the floor. "I mean it. Lay down, please. Just to be on the safe side."
"Okay." Finally obliging, Hitomi reclined on the cushions and laid there a bit awkwardly while Van settled close to her on the floor, his back leaning against the edge of the couch near her head. Although he was wearing jeans and his usual boots, she was reminded again of his mechanical leg. He still favored certain positions over others, probably subconsciously, keeping it stretched out in front of him while the other was propped up at an angle to stabilize himself.
"Give me your hand." He instructed Hitomi.
She draped an arm around his shoulder, reaching across his chest where his body heat was seeping through the damp shirt.
While Hitomi's own hand was warm too for once, his was even warmer. He always seemed to be. Van held it with both hands for a moment as if it was something quite precious. A calloused thumb brushed over the soft skin of her wrist and she briefly wondered if he could feel how their proximity was making her heart rate increase.
"Don't forget. Whatever you see…we're still right here in this room…and I'm right here with you." Van said the last part while turning his head to the side so she could see his face.
He looked heartwrenchingly hopeless and the wet, black hair framing his face was impossibly dishevelled.
Hitomi wasn't sure why but in a spur of the moment she reached out with her other, free hand and brushed some of the wild, damp bangs away from his eyes. His pupils widened momentarily as his chest expanded before he finally forced himself to look down at their joined hands.
Her delicate, pale skin against his tan hand was a stark contrast. More intimately than necessary, Van dared to cover the back of her small hand with his palm, gingerly sliding the tips of his fingers forward and into the space between hers, interdigitating them. The sound of Hitomi's breathing in that moment was exaggerated by the eerie silence in the room.
"Here goes." Van finally announced, feeling rather regretful about the unfortunate reason they were holding hands for.
His heart was pumping just as hard as hers, Hitomi noticed for a second after he flattened her hand against his chest. The pendant was pressed into her palm before they curled their fingers around it in a tight fist.
More abruptly than expected the feeling of racing through a wind tunnel enveloped Hitomi, minus the wind but including a whole kaleidoscope of different impressions. Hitomi's body felt strangely light as if suspended in air. Colors were bleeding together, forming fragments of memories which then began to envelop her. Van was still digging through his mental vault trying to figure out how to make the impressions and experiences clear across the connection.
While pictures of Van's life spun wildly around her, a throbbing sensation nestled inside her head, creeping towards her ears and pushing against her eardrums so persistently that the rushing of blood was becoming audible. The sound made her feel fuzzy, lasting a few moments until it died down a bit, becoming a constant background noise.
Gradually, Hitomi's heart began to feel heavier and its pumps muted strangely, almost lethargic. More memories of Van's life, some clear, some more fleeting, rushed by behind her closed lids.
Birthdays.
Graduations.
Arguments.
Family.
Death.
Hitomi saw everything from Van's point of view, giving her an unfamiliar and alien perspective of events. Clearly, he was also still struggling to control his thoughts as they were all over the place and out of order.
Bit by bit then, the visions became more solid. Van appeared to have figured out how to control his thoughts better. It was noticeable by the firm grip on her hand which was tightly wrapped around the pendant, resting on his warm chest and keeping her somewhat anchored to reality.
The sound of rushing blood in Hitomi's ears finally vanished completely, leaving her with almost all senses focused on what he was showing her. Considering this for a second, Hitomi decided that it would be difficult for just about anybody to remember an event down to all the details. For the time being, she was receptive to sound first.
"Old enough to die; old enough to fight to stay alive! That's how I see it. So don't expect any special treatment from me despite your age." A stern, male voice announced.
When the visual appeared, Hitomi was lined up amongst a row of kids. Some male, some female, and only few looked to be older than thirteen years of age. An enormous indoor pool was right in front of them but it most definitely wasn't a field trip.
"This was part of survival training." Although Van was sitting right beside her, his voice sounded as though it was coming from far away due to it being carried through their mental connection.
Above the pool, suspended from a large crane, was a long, rectangular, metal chamber. It had plastic windows and a row of seats on each long side. Next thing she knew, an older man clad in black swim trunks with a pair of swim goggles on his forehead stepped in front of them and spoke to them in the stern voice of an instructor.
"Welcome to survival training. All aspiring pilots of any kind have to pass it. This is the dunk tank. No doubt you've heard about all the fun waiting for you in the next two hours. It's gonna be your very personal underwater amusement ride," he announced with no small measure of mirth while scanning the row of faces for reactions. "Get the blindfolds!" The man ordered several other adults standing in the vicinity and less clearly depicted by Van's memory.
The vision sped up, fast-forwarded and suddenly Hitomi was immersed in water. Her limbs felt light and cold but she had no time to adjust to the strangeness of it because the lack of oxygen was instantly alarming. Fast forward again, the restraints had been loosened and she was now drifting underwater, unable to reach the surface due to the walls of the structure surrounding her. Van's memories were explicit and coming in fast succession, almost assaulting her with their clarity.
"We had to find the windows with the blindfolds on," he explained as the body moved to one of the walls, groping and feeling around for the hatch by the window in the wall that would open up to form an emergency exit. "This was training to simulate a plane crash in water. All operators had to pass it regardless of the machine they'd be piloting."
After having squeezed through the opening, the ordeal wasn't over. While diving through the water, angled towards the surface, a mock-attacker came forth instantly, preventing a speedy ascend.
No wonder Van had reacted quite so harshly back at the pool. Panic spread in Hitomi's chest when oxygen still remained far out of reach while being restrained underwater. Her lungs refused to let her breathe.
Van's memories felt so real that her brain was convinced she really was underwater, fighting an invisible enemy. Over and over, the scene repeated itself seemingly in an endless loop while her breath hitched deep in her throat.
When it finally stopped, a big, fat chlorine headache had nestled itself in Hitomi's head. It even lingered when the impression was finally over. That in combination with the feeling of near suffocation almost caused her to beg Van to stop right then already but there was more to see yet and Hitomi was determined to stay with him. After all, he was constantly reliving these memories on his own. The traumatizing events of his past were always on his mind, as had been clear by her accidental, fleeting glimpses of it before.
"This should explain why I went batshit crazy that day at the pool…" Van quietly said.
It was difficult to articulate herself for Hitomi with her body fairly rigid due to the strain on her whole system so she hoped that her simple 'yes' had carried over into his thoughts.
"You may recognize this man." Van's voice reverberated in Hitomi's head while the shape of an old behemoth of a man slowly materialized in front of her.
The tall, muscular giant was no other than the Berserker Samurai Balgus Ganesha. The soldier who had ended the Destiny War by killing Emperor Dornkirk of Zaibach. Although the man's facial expression indicated that he was no foe, his actions were not of an entirely friendly nature. This instantly alarmed Hitomi, making her free hand clench around what fabric of the couch she could take hold of.
Van confirmed her thoughts."Balgus was part of Paragon, just like me."
The large man was shirtless, and a number of deep scars had formed dark welts on his wide chest. One even ran across his left eye, forcing it shut permanently. Clearly, the old man with the thick beard and grey hair was not to be underestimated.
He was hacking away at Van with a sword of all things. "You still don't charge aggressively enough." The man expelled in between swings of his long, sharp weapon. While the assault continued, all Hitomi could do was watch the many ways Van had evidently evaded each attack without the need to parry or attempting a strike with his own sword. The weapon was loosely clutched in his hand. Dead weight.
"I…I didn't enjoy fighting like this. Wanting to fight was not why I joined Fanelia's military forces. I joined for my country and its people…" Van said quietly." His calm words reminded Hitomi that she was still simply caught in one of his memories.
Finally, the older man ceased his assault and shook his head a bit while sheathing the long sword, making his mustache wiggle in disapproval while doing so. "Even though you don't like combat, you're part of Paragon. You have to remember that you're always either predator or prey. If you're prey, you need to run in order to survive whereas a predator knows he needs to out-run the slowest in a herd in order to eat. So, no matter who you are here. When the sun rises, you better be ready to fight."
"He always trained with me. Tried to make me better at what was my biggest weakness."
His running commentary of the impressions began to calm Hitomi, albeit marginally. As did the firm grip of his warm hand enclosing hers. "You need to calm down. Nothing in there can really hurt you. Don't forget that."
Next, a rather quiet scene in an office materialized. The background was simple, as Van had obviously not remembered it in detail while the man sitting behind a heavy, mahogany desk was pictured in more clearly. A nametag on his maroon uniform spelled the name 'Luva', embroidered in capital letters. His short, black hair and beard were trimmed to military standards. Almost a bit bored, his eyes were focused straight ahead, having to convey something he was clearly not thrilled about.
"Normally you would be choosing your machine based on order of merit. Academics, physical training scores, flying, military performance scores andsoforth... which, due to your reluctance in direct combat both with the sword and hand to hand, doesn't make you first in line."
The man's countenance changed when he spoke again. "However, your flight aptitude and checkride scores are exceptional and it is because of this that Paragon has requested you specifically. They want you to become the pilot of the Escaflowne, a Guymelef of Ispano built which has the capability of transforming into an attack helicopter and the only one of its kind in the allied army's possession."
The man's explanation caused a spike in blood pressure and intensified the thumps of Hitomi's heart immensely. Obviously, the news had excited Van and she could feel it very clearly.
"This isn't the kind of offer that comes down the pipeline often, Lieutenant Fanel. With a brother as part of Paragon, I assume you realize that. Now, I have other things on my agenda. Do you accept your selection?" The man barked a bit impatiently
"Yes, sir!" Van confirmed.
"Good. You ship out to Palas tomorrow morning." Those were the man's final words.
The swooshing surrounding of the memory tunnel once again enveloped Hitomi while the next words already reached her ears.
"Get your squad to the airfield. You leave in two hours!" It sounded from far away, almost like what was spoken had been overheard from the other end of a hallway.
"This," Van said gravely, "is my brother Folken," when a tall, handsome man with silver hair and eyes similar to the shade of Van's materialized in a dimly-lit room. Folken's tall, lean figure emanated a regal elegance and his eyes were a testimony of his intelligence.
Van offered some more information. "Folken was a brilliant Strategos. He was picked up by Paragon when he was a lot younger than me and even specifically got trained by them."
Folken leaned over a polished, metal table in the memory. "There are a few thousand dead soldiers due northeast. The allies keep sending them and the Zaibachians keep moving them down with their hellish machines and this is only the beginning of the war. They have a missile stashed away that could take out all of Palas. The twins sent a few schematics not too long ago."
"That's asinine!" Past Van's voice came into play.
"That's why they have decided to send us. We take out their command center and after that, the allies will move in and mop up." Folken answered. "The three of us have been tasked with this stealth mission. We will liaison with our Intensified Luck Soldiers at the Zaibach command center."
"Sounds dangerous. I'm in." Balgus stepped out from the shadows, a dangerous grin on his face.
"After we get there, the twins will meet us at the coordinates we arranged through the secure communications channel. We don't know what else Zaibach has in store so all three of us will go into the command center. You are bringing us in on the Escaflowne, I'll make adjustments to the plan as needed but Balgus is the main player here. Got it?" Folken asked the other two men.
"Why don't the girls take Dornkirk out?" Van questioned the plan.
Folken pointed to one particular line on the communications log on the table between them. "Because we need both of them at the control panels in order to open the security doors to the throne room. They can't do it alone or without drawing attention."
"Understood. When do we leave?" Van nodded.
"We meet at the airfield in one hour," Folken informed Balgus and Van. "Guess we'll finally see just how good of a pilot my little brother is," he finished with his gaze fixed on Van.
Van made some more things clear after the vision dispelled. "Eriya and her twin sister, Naria were sent to Zaibach immediately after they declared war. They infiltrated their ranks with the help of some experimental serum that increased their chances of success. Intensified Luck Serum, they called it. They were good. Excellent spies. It's only through them that the allied forces learned about the missile threat."
Hitomi was stunned. So that's who the woman in the intensive care unit had been. One of those neko twins. His brother's fiancé. One of the only survivors of this mission.
The next few conversational exchanges came so quickly there was no time for an image. Perhaps, the images weren't that important.
"Why isn't the Escaflowne ready?" Hitomi heard Folken question someone.
"The holdup is the cloaking function. We are retrofitting it onto the aircraft for good measure." An unfamiliar voice answered.
"I don't suppose you got me some more missiles too." Van's familiar voice asked.
"Sorry, fresh out." The same voice, likely that of an engineer or mechanic replied. "The Escaflowne already has four firing rails. Each pylon can support four missiles. You got sixteen missiles. In addition to that…"
"…1200 rounds of 30mm cartridges at a firing speed of 60 to 65 rounds per minute. I know my shit, don't worry." Van interjected impatiently. "Exploding cartridges. Piercing light armor only."
How cocky and slightly hotheaded he had been back then. Entirely too convinced about his abilities with machines and not at all concerned about his weaknesses.
When the visual gradually returned it was as if Hitomi had completely merged with Van's consciousness, her brain in sync with his, making her feel and know, in very intricate detail the events which were unfolding now. She wasn't just a viewer anymore. She was him.
No words were exchanged as the three men marched down the tarmac, advancing on a helicopter which was still sitting idly in its spot, gleaming in the early afternoon sun. Its fuselage was white and slim, ending in a tail boom with a fenestron. The main four rotor blades hung idly, tips pointing towards the ground, soon to be coning upwards under the centrifugal force the main rotor was about to put on them.
The trio was clothed in the allied force's uniform. Black, stiff pants with utility pockets were tucked into combat boots and finally, it became evident what the faded, red jacket had been. Part of his uniform. When the Van in the vision made sure his passengers were strapped into the helicopter's seats safely, Hitomi saw the other men were clothed in identical jackets.
Several appliqués were sewn onto them, identifying their original allegiance through a round patch on the left side of their chest. What Hitomi now recognized as the Fanelian crest adorned each of their jackets there.
Hitomi's heart now sped up at the mere thought of piloting the impressive piece of Ispano engineering. Van's enthusiasm and thoughts about previous training flights and maneuvers with the Guymelef's ground shape carried over into her system seamlessly.
The machine was unlike anything she had ever seen in real life. Sure, older and more primitive versions of the gigantic armors were on display in the hangar of Asturia's war history museum but technology had definitely made a massive progress here, along with mechanical design. The iron giants were now less shaped like medieval armors and had instead adopted a more robotic look. Some elements, like the samurai-themed helmets, still remained and had been incorporated into the new, more modern and boxy shapes.
While the Escaflowne was a product of genius Ispano craftsmanship, the pilot was still required to exert a great amount of physical and mental effort in order to maneuver it in either of its shapes. It featured an impressive arsenal of firepower as well as a sword for close-ranged combat on the ground. All in all, a magnificent piece of engineering and cause of enthusiasm for a mechanomaniac like Van.
During the takeoff preparations, Hitomi learned more about their first constraint. "We have to make it in time to squeeze through a hole in the shield dome. The twins can create it but only keep it open for so long before others will notice." Folken said after donning a headset while seated behind Van. "The holdup with the cloaking function has already made us late. Orders came down unexpectedly fast and I haven't got a bloody idea why this wasn't done earlier," the Strategos growled in irritation.
The next part of the memory had them in mid-flight. Hitomi felt the heaviness of the pilot's helmet on her head and saw a gloved hand wrapped loosely around the cyclic control stick between Van's knees.
"What's our distance?" Folken asked while a rather bleak landscape loomed in front of them as far as the eye could see. They were heading further and further due north where cold weather had caused a thin blanket of snow to form over the course of the past weeks.
"About 25 clicks," Van informed his commanding officer with a quick glance at the navigation screens. "What if we don't make it in time? I can't get us there that fast."
Folken's voice reached around from behind through the headset. "It's not going to wait for us if that's what you are asking. We have to keep going. I'll come up with an alternative."
"Can you use that hyper speed function?" Balgus' deep voice asked from the back.
"Negative." Van immediately answered. "We'd still not be fast enough. Besides, I think it would cost us the cloak. Don't think the engineers who put it on had time to consider the compatibility issues. I'd rather not rely on it. It's the only thing keeping them from detecting us right now."
Some time was spent in silence before the vision sped up again, putting them close to the perimeter of the Zaibach command base. Protected by the cloaking function, they were invisible to the enemy as Van kept the aircraft in a balanced hover while they assessed the situation.
Many large, grey buildings and hangars were nestled in between a forest, protected by a barely visible, blue energy field which spanned across the extensive base like a dome. It crackled with energy and was nearly impenetrable if the intel the twins had sent was to be believed.
"What's the plan Folken? Remember, our lives and the fate of Palas are on the line." Van turned his head slightly as if trying to look into his brother's face.
"Yea. No pressure." Balgus added with a small amount of calm anticipation and a dash of sarcasm.
"The main gate isn't far. Only forty degrees due east. Take us there, then activate the hyper-speed setting and take us through the main gate instead. When it's not open, the shield bearing rotates every fifteen minutes to prevent the system from overheating. It's a window that can get us in. We need to make that rendezvous at all cost." Folken's voice came through the headset with determination. The thought of his fiancé behind enemy lines no doubt added another layer of urgency to the desire of successfully completing this mission.
"I can do that but it's likely going to cost us the cloaking function." Van reminded him, scanning the area just outside the dome for the umpteenth time, wanting to be prepared for any undesirable surprises. "The infrared jammer will suppress our heat signature but, well, I suppose the Zaibachians aren't blind. We'll be visible in the sky if we lose the cloak."
"We will accept that risk. Right before you pass the gate, send a ping to the relay so base knows our last location. They will be able to puzzle together my new plan based on the gate's location. It's too risky to hail them now. The enemy could be picking up our transmittal." Folken concluded.
Van held his breath for a moment before answering. "At that speed and distance? That would be like shooting a fly from the back of a galloping yerkle. It'd be a miracle if I hit a receiver."
"Then give me a miracle," Folken demanded dispassionately, completely reverting to the status his rank bestowed upon him.
"Yes, sir." Was all Van answered. "Alright, hold on to your lunches."
Next thing Hitomi knew, they were inside the dome and cruising at a much slower speed than before. Clearly, plan B had worked out but the eerie emptiness of the airspace directly inside was a foreboding of bad events. While carefully sticking to the side of the dome close to the shield, Van announced again. "…aaand we lost the cloak. Shit. It's only a matter of minutes. What now?"
"We improvise," Folken said quickly. "We need to make sure Balgus gets in. Doesn't matter what happens to us. Hear me, Van? No matter what happens, the mission comes first."
The silence around them was positively deafening and alarming at the same time. It made the hair on Hitomi's arms spike. Something bad was about to happen. Van's headset began to emit a high-pitched, static noise before a manic cackle reached his ears.
"Now now, look what we have here! Be so kind as to identify your ass so I have the pleasure of knowing who I'm about to kill." Apparently, a Zaibach soldier had infiltrated the in-aircraft communication channel. "Callsign Dilandau, pleased to toast your face."
Still fairly calm, Van talked to his passengers through the same channel. He was fully aware that the enemy was listening in but this meant all lines were potentially compromised. "We have rattled a hornet's nest. They are coming for a fight."
Van didn't bother to respond to the taunting of the man on the other end. His eyes were already fixed on the machines which were being launched from below. Several structures, weapons hangars, had opened and were releasing several monstrosities out of their holds.
"Alseides units." Folken recognized them immediately even from his seat in the second row behind Van. There were four. One was red and the others were blue.
They were Guymelefs as well, similar to the Escaflowne but not capable of transforming into a completely different shape. They could fly alright though, by levi stone technology. Their forms immediately hovered in the sky like large, gleaming bugs when their lower halves shifted in order to streamline the massive legs for a better aerodynamic form.
"Ooooh, you ignore me? How rude!" One of the enemy pilots cooed into Van's headset. Van couldn't be sure which Guymelef this person was in but given the blunt way of challenging him, he guessed the guy was the leader of this formation. Probably the red one then.
With a quick flick of his free hand, Van moved a device from the side of his helmet in place over his right eye which created a targeting cross. Everything Hitomi saw became green, offsetting the moving targets with more clarity. As Van scanned the area in front of him, assessing the situation, the turret on the nose of the Escaflowne moved with it.
It was one of the Ispano's most congenial developments. The sight and display were engineered so as to feed targeting cues and infrared imaging directly into the helmet-mounted screen. While information was supplied to the pilot, the machine gun turret and imaging sensors were slaved to the pilot's head movements.
Such an onslaught of visuals had been overwhelming for the first year of groundwork with the Escaflowne, causing massive headaches which only gradually lessened after months of training. By now, Van was thoroughly confident about handling the machine. Perhaps a bit too confident at times.
When in its mecha shape, the weapons on the nose and pylons were located on arms and shoulders, giving it the distinct appearance of a gigantic robot holding a machine gun. Here too, the helmet-mounted sight control connected the Escaflowne's weapons with the pilot's head and eye movements allowing for fast reaction and precision targeting.
He was in his element now. Flying, manipulating the controls of the aircraft, and using the aircraft as an extension of himself. It still was the loyalty to his country's people and the admiration for such a machine which motivated his devotion. And just perhaps, a bit of arrogance.
"Nope. I heard ya." Feeling confident, Van finally allowed himself to show a bit of the attitude he had become so known for. "Welcome to my favorite arena- the sky! You will experience occasional showers of ammunition and explosions. Should you have any complaints about this inconvenience, please forward them to White Dragon dot net backslash nobody cares."
Van then began to unleash a hail of the helicopter's ammunition onto the targets across from him. They reacted immediately, scattering from their tight formation as a good amount of bullets ricocheted off their armor. It was clearly on the thick side since only few bullets penetrated their hulls.
Van remembered from previous reports that the machines carried some experimental weapon called crima. A liquid metal able to shoot out from their Guymelef's arm, capable of forming a spike and piercing clean through the armor of their enemy. The twins had sent intel about it a few weeks ago. Van didn't need long to take out one of the blue machines with one of the larger missiles in the Escaflowne's inventory. He was good.
Then, Van skipped several events in the fight, not wanting to draw it out longer than necessary for Hitomi to comprehend. Some moments were shown at normal pace, some sped up as if fast-forwarding through a video until the images slowed again.
"Sorry, pal. Ticketed passengers only." Van growled when one of the Zaibachians' metal spears changed its shape upon missing its target and instead molded itself around the Escaflowne's landing gear. He deftly swung his head around and fired at the origin of the weapon on the Guymelef's arm.
Van had landed a critical hit which sent the thing spinning and it immediately retreated back towards one of the hangars behind them. No more communication was had with the enemy at the moment. It was clear that they were using their own radio channels for the purpose of strategic discussions as the remaining two regrouped.
While Van was firing at his opponents, the Escaflowne maneuvered swiftly and adhered well to his every command, just like in training. His passengers were left to hold on tight and emit the occasional profanity in light of their current situation, especially Balgus.
When Van finally had the chance to get out of reach to recover and reassess the situation, he took a moment to attempt a radio call on the open channel. In theory, the twins would be able to pick it up since the enemy pilot had been able to get into their communications. Without directing the message specifically to them, it would appear as if he was trying to reach their own army.
They didn't need to know that he was fully aware no messages could penetrate the shield around the Zaibach base. "Taking fire at latitude twenty degrees forty minutes. Five point thirty three seconds. Longitude one hundred three degrees… shit!"
"What?" Folken asked through the intercom.
"They are emitting all kinds of interference across all spectrums."
"Interference?"
"Yes. Big time. I went through every channel already but I'm getting nothing."
"Try the switched mode?"
"Does it look like I'm sleeping over here? I told you, I tried everything."
They were in rough shape by now, having taken a good amount of damage themselves. The enemy not only had crima but still used a standard assortment of conventional weapons in combination with that.
At this moment, a crima spear shot forward from the blue Zaibach Guymelef. It just barely missed the Escaflowne, gracing the fuselage on the right and made Balgus freely emit a stream of curses which would normally have made Van chuckle. Not this time though.
"Bloody hell!" Van spat out and he could hear Dilandau's manic laughter in response.
Van didn't even give the enemy pilot time to come up with a witty remark. Sustained hover mode was another handy function of the Ispano machine. A digital stabilization system was capable of fine-tuning the pilot's control of the hydraulics of cyclic and collective while otherwise occupied. Occupied by blasting the living daylights out of the rightmost Alseides unit, for instance.
This missile had hit home badly enough to cause the blue Guymelef to spin wildly while plummeting towards the buildings below. A definite drawback of the limited flight capability and heavy armor. When the machine smashed onto the ground and exploded in a plume of blue flames, the pilot could only have died in the most horrific of ways.
"Noooo!" Dilandau's voice came through the radio in a livid holler. "You put Miguel and Shesta out of the game and you just killed Gatti! Now you will pay!"
"Come at me," Van replied a tad too calmly before a one on one fight ensued. Both machines shot towards each other, unleashing their full arsenal while zipping back and forth across the sky at lightning speed.
Hitomi missed most of the details as everything was happening in the blink of an eye again. When one of Dilandau's attacks shook the Escaflowne in mid-air and caused it to swing back and forth like a pendulum, Van ripped the ocular device away from his helmet, causing the green screen to disappear. Smoke rose around them and the whizzing of alarms became audible over the noise of battle.
"Why the hell did you take the sight off?!" Folken's voice sounded through the radio in alarm.
"Well, for one we are out of ammo." Van groaned. "One of the motors is busted, the second one is not sounding good, and I'm about to lose the fenestron which is going to take away antitorque. I've got to use the freewheeling unit... All we have left is gravitational potential energy to…"
"English, Van!" Folken yelled quite unceremoniously, obviously unnerved with the onslaught of technical information.
Van's sigh was so forceful that it was even audible in Folken and Balgus' headphones. "…we are just about out of thrust, I won't be able to keep us from spinning out once the tail rotor stalls and the only force acting upon this can is gravity…"
"…you are crashing!" Dilandau's voice chimed in. "Guess I finally slew myself a Dragon!" He drove the message home.
"You mean we won't have a motor to spin the rotor blades?" Balgus made himself heard from behind them almost so loudly the headset would not have been necessary to hear him.
"…yeah," Van confirmed.
"Seven Hells!" Balgus exclaimed.
Folken was a bit calmer still, even in the quite dire looking situation. "Can you land?"
"I can," Van spoke through gritted teeth. "..but it's not going to be pretty."
In the midst of the communication now sounded a loud bang, then a protracted silence, followed by the groan of metal as the Escaflowne began to sail towards the ground. Although Van was still manipulating the controls as well as he could, the outlook was grim. Through autorotation, the blades were spinning freely which greatly limited the maneuverability of the aircraft.
Hitomi was sweating profusely, her breaths short and shallow when Van's memory gave her the impression of near free-falling. The ground was coming closer by the second. All he needed to do was to land fairly safely so Folken and Balgus could get out. The Escaflowne was capable of carrying passengers in its airborne shape but its mecha form for fighting on the ground was meant to be used by one man only.
Their rapid descent was accompanied by more alarms, smoke, the sound of systems failing all around and a general mood of anxiety about what could possibly happen if Van made only the slightest mistake. It was enough to send Hitomi's heart racing at full speed. Van must have sensed it because he spared her the full experience again.
Next thing she knew, they had touched down on the ground hard. Van was having trouble focusing as his head pounded against the back of the seat, cushioned by the helmet but still shaken forcefully. He groggily mumbled. "That landing was a bit rough. I'd give it a seven point five. Okay, book it!"
Danger was hot on their heels already and the presence of the enemy pilot loomed not far behind. After Folken and Balgus had scrambled out of the Escaflowne, Van finally was able to switch the mode. When he pushed the command button, iron sheets folded all around and manipulated the shape of the machine, transforming it into the gigantic Ispano Guymelef.
Despite heavy damage, the structural integrity of the fuselage was still good enough to make it operate in its less intricate, robotic shape and Van still had one weapon left. The long samurai sword.
Folken and Balgus stuck close to the tree line nearby. The command center was just behind it and if Van could hold off the red Guymelef long enough, both of them would make it there. Van was left to face the annoying soldier in the last Alseides unit. So far, he seemed to be too proud to call for backup. A grave mistake. Or was it something else?
The whole base would have been alarmed by now, but it seemed like luck was on their side. Perhaps, the twins were able to control most of the alerts inside the Zaibach system. The reason didn't matter right now, Van decided. He immediately pushed the button which purged the gigantic, useless machine gun from the suit's arm.
Reaching behind the helmet, the gigantic Guymelef Van was piloting pulled a long sword from a compartment on the back. It extended into its full length after he held it out in front of him, pointing it straight at the red monstrosity which had just landed across from him in the grass, equally large and intimidating in its own way so up close.
A merciless fight ensued where neither of them held back. Hitomi could almost feel Van's physical exertion during the fight. Her limbs felt heavy and her legs ached even as he sped up the battle once more, the effort of swinging the sword and dodging attacks still prominent enough to carry through into her mind.
It would have been a fairly even fight if Van hadn't been tired and somewhat exhausted from being outnumbered in the air battle already. He cursed a few times, scolding himself for not listening to Balgus and his never-ending lectures about needing to be more aggressive. He was an excellent pilot, a good enough fighter but always lacked a certain will for violence in some aspects.
Van's movements were gradually becoming so slow all he could do now was block the enemy's attacks. The pilot in the red mechanical suit was laughing maniacally again, his facial expression almost visible in Van's mind even though he had no idea what the guy looked like.
The other men should have been long gone but when Folken suddenly appeared at the corner of their battlefield, Van did a double take. His brother, tiny compared to the size of the Guymelefs, suddenly began to charge at the Alseides unit when he passed by the Escaflowne's knee. It had embedded itself into the ground, forming a small crater when Van was forced to push against the now solid crima sword of his enemy with all might.
Folken had his machine gun cocked and began firing straight at the Alseides unit's helmet which was shaped to resemble a demon complete with two long horns. While Van was still pushing against the crima sword, he saw that his brother kept on walking closer to the hellish machine with determination in every step.
"No Folken! Get out of here! " Van bellowed although his brother couldn't possibly hear him. "Forget about me! You have to get to the command center!"
Hitomi felt his panic in an overwhelming way. Her heart was wildly forcing blood through her entire system while Van frantically begged for a miracle. No miracle happened. Instead, the enemy pilot abruptly retracted the crima sword and with one fluid motion, whipped the liquid into a shape that allowed it to bypass Van's swinging sword and impaled itself in his suit.
A searing pain surged through his leg, making him react faster than lightning. Bringing the Escaflowne's sword down in a mighty stab, he pierced the demon's red armor clean through straight in the center but it wasn't over. Folken had avoided the gigantic legs around him but when Van retracted the sword, the Alseides moved in the most inopportune of angles, shooting one last blast of liquid metal Van's way.
It hit the Escaflowne in a massive strike, not quite liquid and not quite hardened, like a soggy slap. Its impact caused the Guymelef to swing and made Van lose his balance. When it tipped over, he hit his head on the side of the compartment near the top and even the cushioning couldn't absorb the force of the impact.
Then, nothing. A few moments of complete darkness surrounded Hitomi and she only somewhat remembered that she was still comfortably stretched out on her very own living room couch.
"I passed out." Van supplied, confirming her suspicions.
However, the pause wasn't long enough to entirely steady her nerves. All the impressions were so overwhelming that her pulse was racing. When the Van in the memory opened his eyes, everything was blurry at first.
Only gradually, everything cleared a bit to reveal shards of broken safety glass, bent metal, and debris of all kind. Van's whole body was aching. Not entirely sure if he had sustained a bad injury yet, he gave the pounding headache a few moments to spread in his swollen skull.
Gradually, Hitomi began to notice that his right leg was pinned in between the mechanical harness and the shell of the armor. There was a great deal of blood and something was definitely very wrong. The Alseides unit's massive sword had cut clean through Van's thigh. On top of that, he was stuck and there was no way he could get out of the armor without help.
Slumping against the structure which normally allowed him to maneuver the Guymelef, he began to breathe hard. It was only then that he remembered what had happened in the last few moments.
Van's throat tightened and he was unable to speak as his fingers dug into the controls he was still holding on to. The pain he was inflicting upon himself by straining his whole body in the process now finally enabled him to release a gut-wrenching scream.
His brother. The Escaflowne had fallen onto its side, but when turning his head, Van could make out the Alseides not far away, equally out of commission with its master dead and his brother's body not far from it, impaled by the Escaflowne's sword.
"I didn't...want to survive. I didn't deserve to survive. I killed my own brother." Van groaned in anguish.
…but survive he did. After complete darkness engulfed Hitomi again, Van said nothing. She was shaken. A squad of Zaibach soldiers stopped by the wreck at some point, the noise causing Van to snap out of his dazed state. He was feverish and so plagued by pain, both mentally and physically, that he almost immediately passed out again. A Zaibach general stood just outside the Escaflowne's helmet and regarded Van with nonchalant disdain.
"It would give me no pleasure to kill you. You will die within the hour anyway." The man spoke dispassionately while his eyes were scanning the area. Van only barely registered his name as his eyes focused on the uniform. 'Gain' was stitched into the stiff, khaki fabric with black thread. Then he passed out again.
When Van woke the next time, Hitomi could hear his discombobulated thoughts in her head. He had expected to be long dead by now but by some miracle, he was very much alive. Another person was bent over him through the front of the suit which had been pried open, though this time the uniform identified him as an ally. Due to the white patch with the red cross on the side of the uniform, it was clear that the man was a medic.
"Still in the land of the living, soldier." The young guy nodded at him while shining a small lamp into one of Van's eyes which caused a flash of pain to race from Hitomi's eye straight into her brain. "Though hell could not be much worse. I hate to tell you this, but you are probably gonna end up losing this leg. It's a miracle that the femoral artery wasn't severed by the crima. That's pretty much the only reason you are still alive, unlike the guy you fought. You are lucky your buddy over there dropped a beacon at some point or else we wouldn't have found you so fast after moving in."
The young man's face suddenly darkened. "I'm sorry…but, before you ask, our man over there is unfortunately dead."
"When the twins found out that we crashed, they overdosed on their luck serum." Van now abruptly cut off the vision. "They knew there was no way we could risk another fuckup. It was the only way to get Balgus in and for everything to end right that day in that hour. As you know, it did…but…my brother. I…I killed him with my own weapon…"
Hitomi's whole body trembled and vibrated with the combined impressions, completely overpowered and at a loss for what to say. The montage of visions had loaded her brain with so much information she didn't quite know how to steady herself. Her eyes were still clenched shut tightly.
Van carefully released her fisted hand and it weakly dropped so he carefully held on to it, stroking the soft palm with his rough thumb. The inside of her hand was clammy and cold from the horrifying images.
Maybe, this had not been such a good idea after all. He had never shared his memories with anybody but a computer. Had she perhaps not just seen the memories but also felt them? This wasn't good. Not good at all indeed.
"Hitomi. Say something. Are you alright? Damn…I shouldn't have done this." Van mumbled while turning and carefully seating himself next to her on the edge of the couch where she was breathing shallowly.
Her cheeks were just as cold as they looked when Van brought his free hand to her face and gently felt their temperature. She clearly was in a state of shock. Who knew it would feel so real to her? She needed something calming, something healing. Fast. To distract her, before the damage became permanent.
It was embarrassing to even consider showing her something that could likely affect a warming change, but he couldn't let her remain so stupefied.
Hitomi's skin tingled when a comforting warmth spread through her limbs, somehow lifting the heaviness around her heart momentarily. Everything focused on the sensation of protectiveness and shared comfort. Suddenly she was back in the Fanel residence, transported to the time they had been so close to each other for the first time. Only this time she saw herself from Van's perspective, being held flush against his chest.
The heat between them was growing as the friction of their embrace heated her to the core.
When Hitomi felt a brief warm touch, her own lips, brush against the side of her neck, the impression of heady excitement surged through her. Anything else thereafter was swiftly dragged past her mental eye in a hurry, not allowing her to experience the following events as Van had felt them more closely.
The visions then jumped from one random moment to the next, squirrel-like in nature just as thoughts sometimes did when uncontrolled. It appeared that Van was suddenly having slight difficulties with curating his inventory. Next, he showed her the moment when Van and her had been by the battlefield, facing each other and so near they could have kissed again.
Something had stopped Van at that moment; had caused him to only briefly allow the back of his hand to graze her jaw in the lightest of touches. Innocuous in nature if considering their previous, more heated encounter but somehow all the more intimate. The reason for why he didn't take the initiative again still eluded her even in the memory vortex from his point of view.
Clearly, the pounding in Hitomi's chest was indicative of the longing he had felt in that moment but it again passed too quickly for her to find out more. Even though she had been somewhat relieved in the end, it was now pointless to pretend that she would have refused him. Just perhaps, she hadn't misunderstood his small, careful gestures the other day? After all, he was showing her the very moments in which his longing for her had been so very intense.
Slowly, the pounding in Hitomi's head lessened and was replaced with something more pleasant. Still a bit numb from the experience, she laid on the couch for a minute after opening her eyes. Van was sitting next to her. He hadn't let go of her hand and the fingertips of his other hand were barely touching her cheek, hovering near her face and emanating this ever-present warmth.
"Are you feeling alright?" Van asked her, clearly worried that it had been too much and hating himself for it.
When Hitomi sat up, her body was briefly confused. Gravity was trying to pull her back down like a sickening force acting upon her mind. The sensation of free-falling induced vertigo and caused stinging bile to rise up and lick against her pharynx. It took all she had to stifle the urge to vomit. Van gave her some more space, dropping to one knee in front of her while she carefully placed her bare feet on the floor.
After Hitomi calmed, albeit marginally, she finally looked at him. Van was not far away at all, his eyes full of concern, searching her face for something. Hitomi's head was still swimming a bit and the warm hands he now placed on either side of her face were like two anchors, firmly keeping her in place in the here and now and on the couch instead of high up in the air. She lightly covered his hands with her own, still slightly sweaty ones, before speaking.
"Van…I had no idea. I'm so sorry for what you had to experience. Your brother…it was an accident!" Hitomi said quietly. "…you can't continue to blame yourself for it. Chasing the past…it...it leaves so little time for the future."
Instead of relief, which her words were clearly intended to provide, Van only felt frustration again. Perhaps, she didn't understand him after all. How was he supposed to live with himself? There was no future for him. He didn't deserve a future! His frustration twisted itself into a tight coil deep inside his chest, threatening to spring forth at any moment.
With a sharp tug, he pulled his hands away and sat on the floor, slumped and with his head hanging low, bangs covering his eyes in a too familiar position. "You just don't get it, do you? I c-cant…I'm responsible for my brother's death! It's my fault everything turned out so badly, that the twins and Balgus are dead!" He kept spinning the web of misfortune he had been caught in for so long even further.
"After all the training, I should have been better. I shouldn't have overestimated my abilities. I should have better calculated what I was doing, not been so rash. It…I…I just wasn't a good enough fighter and it cost my brother his life." Van continued.
Hitomi shook her head and abruptly sprang to her feet at the sound of the stubbornness he was exhibiting. It was unbelievable. He was attempting to blame himself for every single thing that went wrong, even though the outcome had been the end of a war, preventing the possible destruction of an entire city. Survivor's guilt.
Such a quick movement much too soon after the memory show caused Hitomi to stagger briefly. The combined sensations of violence and panic experienced while seeing such horrific images flocculated into something so overwhelming she had to slap a hand over her mouth and sit down again.
Hitomi's slender body was heaving under the strain and the tight coil of frustration in Van's stomach loosened instantly, any trace of anger dissipating with it.
Alarmed, Van looked around to find something, anything he could hand her to prevent a mess. Turning his head this way and that, fairly hectic, Van spotted something under the coffee table close by. It was a box of some sort. Seeing nothing better, he grabbed it and without a second thought dumped the contents on the floor before shoving the box under Hitomi's face.
Not a moment too late, Hitomi grabbed it just in time to catch her dinner which came tumbling forth. While violently emptying the contents of her stomach into the box, she didn't even realize what the container was until she replaced the lid, the sight of her own bile already causing more digestive unrest.
"Damn it. I'm so sorry. I had no idea it would do that to you…," Van said quietly. "If I had known, I would have never…"
Van was back on the floor in front of her now offering her a glass of water he had retrieved from the small kitchen nearby. Hitomi gratefully took a few big gulps and placed the box on the coffee table, mortified and silently wishing it would just disappear. It was only now that Van was beginning to notice the pile of pictures and newspaper clippings on the floor. Hitomi finally registered it too, but it was too late.
When Van reached for the velvet container among the paper, Hitomi inhaled sharply. The diamond ring sparkled beautifully when he flipped open the box and set it next to a picture of Hitomi and Amano which had landed face up on the pile.
"You are…engaged…," he stated, his brain having worked at lightning speed to jump to a false conclusion.
"No!" Hitomi immediately interjected. "Well, I was…but I'm not anymore." She was stunned at the passion behind those words. It had been so unspeakably difficult for her to admit it to herself, let alone say the words out loud for a long time but something inside her now pushed against that barrier with all its might.
"Amano, he…he broke off the engagement just over a year ago…I didn't have the heart yet to let go of the ring." Hitomi fumbled with the words in a rush.
Van's chuckle was a testimony for the obvious rancor he felt. "So that's what you are dealing with." Finally comprehending, he continued to put the puzzle together. "You've been torturing yourself because of some guy who obviously broke your heart and you're not over him. Meanwhile, you are telling me to get over the fact that I killed my own brother."
Hitomi's mouth opened and closed like that of a fish while he spoke, waiting for a good moment to interject. "You don't understand! It's so much more difficult than you are making it sound. I've been friends with him since we were teenagers! This isn't something I can just forget!"
It would have been an excellent time for Van to keep his mouth shut but at this moment, his sister's disposition for blunt honesty seemed to begin rubbing off on him. "You are such a hypocrite!" He spat at Hitomi. His patience suddenly slipped way below zero now. She just didn't understand. His eyes normally the color of glowing embers were suddenly glacial.
The honest truth stung like an angry slap and Hitomi was left speechless while Van continued to air his pent-up frustration which was back in full swing. "I thought we came to some sort of accord...the other day...I didn't make you follow me! You came after me!" Van reminded her.
Van's riposte finally motivated Hitomi enough to rise to her feet, more steadily this time. Likewise, he pushed himself off the floor to stand just a few feet across from her. She argued with her own explanation. "I was afraid you'd get into trouble! Your inability to move on and to heal is keeping you from living."
"Oh please!" Van yelled while briefly slapping a hand against his forehead in frustration. "I don't need your pity or concern. Besides, you aren't the one to talk. You have absolutely no right to lecture me about moving on when you are clearly the one who is refusing to let somebody else in." The last few words came out more raspily than the sentences before. His voice seemed hoarse with emotion, the inflection conveying a passionate meaning of some kind.
Why was this getting to him so much? Had he become so besotted by this woman's effects on him that he was beginning to forget himself? Shaking his head, Van attempted to straighten his thoughts while Hitomi was still fumbling for a response.
She was desperately trying to say something that would diffuse the situation. Having this escalate into a fight after he had made the step to trust her was not what she wanted at all. However, she was so flabbergasted by the onslaught of Van's raging emotions that any and all words failed her.
Disappointment, the anger born from hurt, was felt by both when tears of frustration formed in Hitomi's eyes. Before any more words could be exchanged, Van grabbed his jacket and stomped out into the rain.
The apartment door slammed shut firmly behind him. Hitomi, still caught in her own bubble of anger, didn't bother to follow Van who was disappearing down the hallway, bringing distance between himself and his bad conscience on the double.
Tbc…
A/N: Hoooooly cow. Ok, I had no idea this was going to be 26 flipping pages long. I'm still a bit in a daze. Blast it. I just didn't want to change my outline because I'm stubborn like that.
I got a new full-time job in addition to taking two accelerated college classes all while trying to keep up with my sportsy training which has already been suffering massively in the past two years. Feels like I have zero free-time so I'm writing this rather tired at night, like an owl O_O
Anyway. I encountered some trouble when describing the updated Guymelefs. In my mind, Escaflowne now looks more like a mix between Heavyarms and Wing Zero from Gundam Wing (but still with a sword on its back in addition to the machine gun on its arm) and Dilandau's Alseides kind of like Zechs' Epyon, but even more menacing. It's difficult to describe everything in detail so it makes sense especially for people who may have never seen Gundam Wing. Hopefully, you were able to formulate your own version of the more modern Guymelefs in your mind with the design ideas given. I'm not dead-set on you seeing them exactly as I do.
