Chapter 9

- One Week Later -

The bride parade was in a lull. The first one left the morning after she arrived. The next one wasn't due for a week so Byakuya used the time to try to settle back into a normal routine. Myssa avoided him and he let her. The only time he ever saw her was when she delivered her daily report to him. She was polite, but all business.

He had tried at first to open a discussion that was personal; he wanted to explain the situation to her. But, she shut him down with a polite "Please, excuse me, Lord Kuchiki." Then, eyes downcast, she had left the room. Perhaps it was for the best. He was consumed with guilt over his feelings for Myssa and how fast he'd given in to them. Memories of Hisana had begun to swirl. He found it hard to hold an image of her in his mind because images of Myssa filled his thoughts. The guilt was driving him to distraction. So, he did something he hadn't done in a long time – he spent all his free time training. The physical exertion allowed him to work out some of his anger and exhaust him enough to get some sleep.

Thank the gods Renji was strong enough to withstand the onslaught of Byakuya's need to vent. He was to only one that Byakuya would trust to stand opposite him on the training grounds.

Sword clashing against sword, Byakuya gave in to the turmoil inside him and immersed himself in all the thoughts he'd kept at bay…

Myssa was so different from Hisana. His wife had been tiny, gentle, and delicate like a fine porcelain doll. He had cherished her and protected her from the very beginning of their relationship. Always on the defensive against his clan where she was concerned, he had easily taken on the role of a shield between her and anything or anyone that might hurt her in any way. She had always been soft-spoken and polite. He had been the one to chastise anyone that spoke rudely to her or about her. She never really felt like she belonged in his world, but she had stayed because she loved him so much. However, he was no longer the same man. He was young when he had fallen in love with Hisana. Now, he was much older and had experienced things he never imagined he would. Those experiences had changed him. Most of all, his own brush with death had had a profound effect on him.

Myssa was tall enough to fit under his chin with a lush, curvy body that made his mouth go dry. She was smaller than him, but athletic and strong in a fight. While she was polite and charming she was also someone not to cross. He had seen her stand up to him and knew without a doubt that if anyone offended her that he would step aside and enjoy the show. She was never going to be a woman to stand behind any man; she was a woman who would stand by him no matter what came their way. More importantly, she would stand up to him if necessary. She was certainly no shrinking violet and he liked that about her. There was a lot he liked about her and almost all of it had nothing to do with her looks. Myssa had stirred needs in him that he had either denied or didn't even consider until she had given them to him just by being herself. She had an uncanny knack for surprising him, revealing bits of her nature a little at a time. It was like reading a great book and yearning to reach the end, but slowly relishing every aspect of the story along the way. He knew, without a doubt, a relationship with Myssa would be the most incredible journey of his life. Having her by his side as a force of support, comfort, and help when he needed it; being able to really be himself and stop holding back all of his emotions, good or bad, knowing that she was a safe place for him to let go; finally accepting someone into his heart to fill the other half of what he had carved away – these were his uppermost thoughts when it came to what he really needed in a wife. When he pictured himself in those moments, he usually saw Hisana's face. But, lately, he had been contemplating his future and it had been Myssa's face in his thoughts, coming through with sharp clarity, her voice ringing in his head with that smile that never failed to dazzle him.

Perhaps the most troubling aspect of his feelings for Myssa was that Senbonzakura was beginning to react to her presence. Whenever she was physically near, he would hum as if he were an echo of Byakuya's desire to touch her. A tickling pressure in his mind, urging him to give in. When she would leave, he would feel a pulse of disappointment from the zanpakto. An admonishment, why did you let her go? Most disturbing of all – his inner world was changing. He often mediated to visit and harmonize with Senbonzakura. The last time he had done so, he found the desolation in the landscape giving way to new growth. When Hisana died, Byakuya's inner world had almost completely turned to ash. It was a wasteland where only the wails of his enemies sang a harmony with the ever familiar shush of his bankai in full bloom. It was a place where everything evil, everything wrong, was shredded into oblivion to become nothing more than a passing memory…which included Byakuya's emotions. But, now – now this woman had dropped into his life and turned it all upside-down. Senbonzakura had confronted Byakuya about the changes, about the deep thoughts and feelings that he was trying to suppress and avoid. It had been an uncomfortable exchange between them that had left them both uncertain as to how Byakuya would reconcile the churning emotions he was losing control over.

Bankai versus Bankai, Byakuya versus Renji. Sweat was pouring from them both, exertion beginning to show on their faces and in their heavy breaths. They had been going at each other for the better part of an hour. They had drawn quite a crowd. No soul reaper was going to miss out on any action, especially when they could watch not just one, but two bankais.

Feedback from Senbonzakura snapped Byakuya's mind into sharp focus – he'd drawn blood. The sleeve of Renji's shihakusho was gone and his arm was bleeding. Dammit! Byakuya immediately called back his zanpakto. He apologized to Renji, sincere yet angry with himself that he'd allowed such a lapse in focus. He told his lieutenant that he would buy him a new shihakusho. Then he did something that nearly sent Renji's jaw to his toes – he gave him praise. "I am pleased to see how strong you have become, Renji." Not Lt. Abarai, Renji.

Renji watched Byakuya walk away. He wondered what exactly had happened to his captain because this was not the man he knew. He saw Byakuya lift his eyes to the highest seats of the training arena. Rukia and Myssa were sitting together eating oranges while Tamor lounged between them eating the orange peels. A slow grin stretched Renji's lips, So, that's your problem. Myssa has you tied up in knots and you don't know which string to pull.

Byakuya was exhausted, physically and mentally. He was riddled with guilt, angry, and confused. All parts equally mixed made a cocktail of frustration that bordered on madness. Watching Myssa eat an orange as if nothing was wrong between them made his blood boil. However, that passed quickly to be replaced with a feeling of sadness, of loss. She had shut down her emotions so easily, or had she? Was she like him? Able to project outward calm while chaos reigned on the inside? He scoured his memory…her eyes, I saw the sadness in her eyes every time she looked at me. He decided that he needed time to think, time to confront what he'd been avoiding for decades – truly letting Hisana go and finding peace enough to move on.

Rukia had tricked her. She had told Myssa that she was going to take some oranges to Renji and then they would join Jushiro for lunch. Once they were close enough, Myssa felt the tell-tale waves of reiatsu – Byakuya's and Renji's. She tried to veer off down a lane to escape, feigning misdirection, but Rukia caught her elbow and steered her back.

Settled at the top row of the training arena, Myssa tried very hard to keep her eyes off of Byakuya. After a few minutes, she gave up. There was no way she could keep from watching every move he made. How can one man be so damn beautiful?

The past week had been difficult for Myssa. Every time she looked at Byakuya she thought about their kiss. That one moment in time had focused all her swirling thoughts and feelings into one clear one: she was falling in love with him. Her heart was lost and it had happened so fast that it scared her. She had thought maybe it was just the strength of her attraction to him. But, no, that kiss had told a very different story. The way her heart was pounding, the squirmy feeling in her stomach, the way she seemed to not get enough oxygen no matter deep a breath she took – it was something she had never experienced before. Sure, she'd been kissed by men before, but never had any of those kisses left her weak in the knees and her brain in a fog with only his lips to light the way to safety. Had it really only been a week since that kiss? It felt like much longer. Being that close to him had been heavenly. Finally holding him close and feeling his arms holding her – the memory of it still haunted her.

She was doing her best to be carefully friendly and polite when she was around him. He had closed himself off and returned to the serious, aloof man she had first met. Myssa took that a sign that he was not interested in her beyond her service as a relic hunter. Byakuya had obviously made up his mind that he would marry for duty despite his previous statement that he would not. She still believed that his love for Hisana ruled his heart, but that he wanted an heir for his clan. His great-aunt had made it very clear to Myssa that she was never going to be good enough for him. Ginrikku had taken Myssa aside the day of betrothal party's arrival and told her pointblank that she was to keep her relationship with Byakuya on a strictly professional level. She expected Myssa to do her job and stay out of Byakuya's way as he hosted potential brides.

"Is that what Byakuya wants?" Myssa had asked Ginrikku, her chin lifted, refusing to be intimidated by the old woman. "He does have a mind of his own."

Ginrikku had hissed nastily, "Byakuya knows his duty to his clan. I wouldn't expect you to know anything about that. He will secure a proper wife and produce an heir for this clan and it will certainly not be with a bastard, no matter how pretty or charming she is!"

Myssa had recoiled like she'd been physically struck. After all these years she should have been used to the venomous words of nobles and courtiers. But, Ginrikku had always been so kind to her. It was hard not take it as a personal betrayal. Fury had burned through her and it showed in her eyes as she took a step toward Ginrikku. She straightened her spine, every shred of royal dignity she possessed kept her face majestic, "It saddens me that the word noble, a word that means all that is good, honorable, and righteous is represented by someone as nasty, vile, and reprehensible as you. Perhaps one day you will learn what it truly means to be noble."

Myssa had not waited for any response from Ginrikku, she had marched out of the room. Once outside, only then did she allow the anguish to creep back over her features. Anger was building in a new direction – toward Byakuya. Surely, he had to know what was going on, no one would make such important plans without the knowledge and consent of their leader. And yet, he had kissed her, knowing full well that anything between them would go no further. Or, was he laying the groundwork to have her as his mistress once he was married?

She had wanted to throttle him. She felt used and angry with herself for falling for him so damn fast. There was nothing much she could do, she still had a job to finish and she was not going to run back to Shunsui's house. She was Ironspine Starjax for godsakes! She didn't run when things got a little rough, she powered through and got the job done. So, she squelched all her feelings into a little box and tucked it away in a dark corner of her heart. She put on a jovial face and did her best to treat Byakuya like the friend she claimed to be. However, that didn't mean that she wasn't going to wage war. Byakuya was going to pay for stepping on her heart, him and his noblewomen.