Chapter 13
Shuhei took Myssa out to eat at the most popular place in the Seireitei. The moment they walked in together, nearly every soul reaper in the establishment was staring at them. Myssa felt self-conscious while Shuhei seemed to suffering an attack of nerves. Once they sat down and ordered their food, she did her best to put him at ease. "So, how much did you win by landing a date with me?"
Shuhei startled and flushed. "How did you know?"
She laughed. "Shunsui told me about the betting pool."
"What made you pick me?"
She smiled at him. "You're handsome. And, according to rumor, much more interested romantically in Rangiku."
"I am not." He protested.
She couldn't resist teasing him, "You're not handsome? I think you are."
"I meant I'm not interested in Rangiku…like that…anymore." The pink was still coloring his cheeks but was beginning to fade. "Wait, if you thought…"
She held up her hand. "I'll explain everything over dinner."
Their food was served. Myssa explained to Shuhei about her situation with Byakuya and Shunsui's suggestion to date. "Y'know, saying it all out loud, it sounds really awful. I feel like a selfish idiot." Shook her head, "I told Shunsui this was a bad idea. I'm truly sorry, Shuhei."
He gave her a sweet smile, "It's all right. You're not selfish or an idiot." Took a sip of his drink. "Head Captain Kyoraku was right, you should date. Make some new friends. We're all curious about you. It's not often that we get someone new to hang around with. We've all been working and living together for so long, a new face is pretty exciting."
"I'm not really a new face. I've been visiting the Seireitei for over forty years."
"Yeah, but you've always kept yourself tucked away with Head Captain Kyoraku or Captain Ukitake. Rukia and Renji said they met you by accident at Ugendo."
"If it wasn't for those two, I'd never have met all the people that I have. They have a gift for getting me out socially before I realize where I am."
He chuckled, "I never would have thought you to be so shy."
"I'm not shy, I just have some bad things in my past. Despite how much I enjoy being around people, I still find myself slipping back into old fears once in a while. They have a tendency to pop up at weird times." She said.
"All the more reason for you to get out and surround yourself with friends." He said. "We've all got some horrors in our past but being there for each other we get beyond those fears."
They talked for a while. Shuhei told her about how he was almost eaten by a hollow when he was a child. The more she listened to Shuhei, the more she liked him. He was an incredibly nice man and more than easy on the eyes. She asked if the hollow that attacked him as a child had been the cause of his facial scars. His face tightened just a bit and he shifted in his seat.
Myssa knew right away that Shuhei was uncomfortable with her question. She reached across the table and touched his hand, "Hey, you don't have to say anything about your scars. Trust me, I know how disturbing it can be to explain how you were marked." Her eyes held his. "It took me many years before I could even stand for anyone to see mine. And I still have trouble talking about how I got it." She pushed her hair aside and turned her shoulder so he could see the upper end of her scar. "My scar crosses my back all the way to my hip." She smiled at him and sat back. "Dragons revere scars and honor any who bear them. In Dragon Realm, all believe that scars forge strength in a person and should be a source of pride. Women there prefer men with visible scars. For them it shows everyone the bravery and strength of the man they have chosen." She snickered softly, "If you ever set foot in Dragon Realm, you will have women queuing up for a chance to claim you."
After dinner, Shuhei and Myssa went to a karaoke bar where Rukia, Renji, and a few other lieutenants were having drinks. They took their turns singing. Shuhei's deep, gravelly timbre adapted rather well to singing. Myssa's voice was pleasant enough, not anything special or amazing, but at least no one cringed, covered their ears, or left the room.
After a couple of hours socializing with their friends, Shuhei and Myssa went for a walk. They enjoyed each other's company. It was easy for them to talk to each other.
"I've given some thought to your situation with Captain Kuchiki." Shuhei said.
"I thought we agreed not to talk about that."
"You said you didn't want to talk about it. I never agreed to anything."
She huffed, "I still don't want to talk about Byakuya. I've decided to just remain friends with him. If he was interested in something more with me then he wouldn't be parading noblewomen through his house."
"Myssa, for a man like Captain Kuchiki, letting a woman into his life is a huge decision. He has been alone for so long mourning his wife, I don't think he thought he would care for anyone that way ever again. If he has feelings for you, it's going to take a lot of time before he'll act on them." She hadn't told him that Byakuya had kissed her. She still half-believed that he might be hoping to have her as his mistress after he married a noblewoman. Shuhei continued, "You should go out with other men. Don't stand still waiting for someone who may or may not return your affection." He started chuckling, "Although, if you really want to make Captain Kuchiki jealous, go out on a date with Captain Zaraki. They don't get along very well."
"I was going to ask him out. I want to talk to him about his eye patch. Now that I have to wear reiatsu restraints, I thought Captain Zaraki could offer some insight and advice."
They stopped to sit in a park and talk a while longer. After a couple of hours, they made their way to the front gate of the Kuchiki estate. It was after midnight.
Myssa stood in the soft light of the lamps on the front gate. "Thank you for a wonderful evening, Shuhei. I had a great time with you."
He smiled, "Same here. You're really easy to talk to."
"No filters. It's easier to connect with someone when you're open and honest."
"Maybe you should be open and honest with Captain Kuchiki."
She shook her head, "I'm too afraid."
"Of what?"
"Of rejection. Of destroying the friendship we have."
"The greater the risk, the greater the reward."
"The greater the loss if it doesn't go well." She segued, "Speaking of risk and reward – do I get a kiss good-night?"
"I dunno." He stood to his full height, "Do you want one?"
She smiled, "I most certainly do. I think it would be very nice to be kissed by you, Shuhei Hisagi."
He smiled and pulled her close. His hands cupped her face, bringing her lips to his. He lingered a bit, kissing her lips slowly, unable to resist a nibble at her full lower lip.
Myssa's toes were wiggling in her shoes. Shuhei was damn good at kissing. If he was this good with just his lips, she could only imagine what he'd be like with his tongue in the mix. When she opened her eyes, he was grinning down at her.
"So, was that 'nice'?" His voice was just a bit rougher, a hint that he had enjoyed their kiss.
"That was way better than 'nice'."
He chuckled and pressed a kiss to her forehead, "Goodnight, Myssa."
"Goodnight, Shuhei."
Neither of them knew that Byakuya had seen everything. It had taken monumental control to keep himself from attacking Shuhei. He hadn't been close enough to hear what they were saying, but Myssa seemed as if she had enjoyed being kissed by Shuhei. The thought that she could start a relationship with someone other than himself was unacceptable.
-The Next Day-
Myssa showed up for breakfast. She was cheerful. Byakuya knew her well enough to know she was trying to gauge if and how her date with Hisagi had affected him. They were the only two at breakfast. Polite pleasantries were exchanged over their meal. After she finished the last bite of her fruit he asked about her evening. "How was your date with Lt. Hisagi? Did you have a nice time?"
She hadn't expected him to be so direct. "It was fun. Shuhei is a great guy."
"Will you be seeing him again?"
"I'm meeting him at the Squad 9 training grounds in a little while. I need the practice. The bracelets are…a concern."
The note of unease in her tone made him forget all about Hisagi. "Are you having trouble?"
"Not exactly." Shook her head. "I don't know, maybe it's just psychological."
"What do you mean?"
"When I was uncollared I spent so long blocked from my birthrights and reiatsu that it took a long time for me to adjust. I expected something similar when my father put these bracelets on me. I thought they would ease the burden." She ran a finger over the pattern on one. "They didn't ease it, they took it away completely."
He reached over and squeezed her hand comfortingly. "Myssa, you can still access your powers while wearing the bracelets. You are just limited to how much power you can use unless you remove them."
Her eyes lifted to his, "I'm afraid to take them off."
"Why?"
"That day at Kiske's, I lost all control. I reached a point where I couldn't pull back. It's…" her voice was soft, "It's like I wasn't me anymore." She shook her head slightly, "I've been trying to put words to what I felt, but I can't. All I know is that I never want to feel that way again."
His thumb gently stroked the back of her hand. "Be patient, Myssa, your training has just started. You will learn and get stronger. Practice will give you control over your powers."
"My father said the same thing, almost word for word."
His mouth quirked in a slight smile, "So, you are saying I have the wisdom of a king." One eyebrow arched.
She laughed, "Oh, absolutely – with an ego to match."
He couldn't help himself, he lifted her hand. Turning her wrist to his lips, he heard her suck in a breath and felt her pulse quicken when he pressed a kiss there.
Her heart felt like it was going to jump out of her chest and flop around on the floor. The heated look in his eyes made desire snake through her veins. She shook in his grasp. His eyes smoldered with desire.
"I am Lord Byakuya Kuchiki, head of my clan, ego comes with the title." He let the smile spread just a bit further.
She melted. Damn him and his ability to reduce me to a quivering mess!
The sound of footsteps had Byakuya returning to his usual calm disposition a moment before Ginrei and Keiko joined them. Greetings were exchanged as the two newcomers sat down at the table.
"Lady Keiko, have you enjoyed your stay here?" Myssa asked politely.
Keiko smiled, "Yes, very much so. I am particularly fascinated by the work you have been doing. Byakuya speaks of it very often."
Myssa tensed. Keiko was using Byakuya's name with no title, no honorific. Not a good sign.
"I would like to hear some of your adventures as a relic hunter. Perhaps over tea?" Keiko asked.
"I would like that." Myssa stood. "If you'll pardon me, I'm due for training. Perhaps later."
"I will be staying for a while so I am sure we will have plenty of opportunities to talk." Keiko smiled again, genuine and sweet.
Byakuya flinched when he saw Myssa stiffen. He knew exactly where her mind went.
-A little later: Squad 9 training grounds-
Shuhei and Myssa's training drew quite a crowd. It began with just Jushiro, Kensei, and Tamor sitting in the shade watching the pair. Once the reiatsu started flying it drew soul reapers like bears to honey. Even Kenpatchi came to watch, hoping for the chance to get in on the action. Byakuya had shown up about an hour after they started training. After Myssa's unease during breakfast, he was determined to keep a close eye on her. He wanted to be close just in case she need help.
Training halted for lunch. Myssa was invited to Squad 11 to train with them. Kenpatchi insisted. He even told Shuhei to come along.
Much to Byakuya's dismay, Myssa accepted the invitation. He didn't like the thought of her being around that pack of ruffians, especially their captain. He went to his office to lose himself in work. The distraction didn't work and he spent the afternoon in a surly mood.
-Later that night-
Myssa went on a date with Yumichika Ayasegawa. When Byakuya found out his mood deteriorated even further. He was silent throughout dinner. Instead of spending time with Keiko after dinner, he locked himself in his study.
Around midnight, he watched as Yumichika kissed Myssa goodnight. Friendly, almost platonic, the kiss was still way too personal for his liking – especially because it was a Squad 11 officer that was touching Myssa.
-The Next Day-
Myssa spent the morning training with Squad 11 again. After lunch, she returned to the Kuchiki estate to work on relic research.
Byakuya was in a foul mood all day at work. Renji, knowing his captain as well as he did, figured out really fast that giving Byakuya a wide berth was the order of the day. Of course, on the surface he was the picture of calm, but his eyes held an edge that said, Breathe wrong in my presence and you will suffer.
Before dinner that evening, Myssa gave Byakuya her daily report and then went out with Ikkaku Madarame. Byakuya was seething. Another one from Squad 11?! He wondered if she knew of his distaste for them and was doing this all on purpose.
That night he made himself stay away from the front gate. There was no way he would have been able to stomach seeing Lt. Madarame touch Myssa.
-The Next Day-
Byakuya awoke to find Myssa sitting on the engawa with a pile of over a dozen books. Tamor was in the flower bed, rolling in the dew-covered flowers. "No training today?" Byakuya asked.
"Too much to wade through. One of your relatives sent some books and records he found in storage. It's going to take a week to sort through it all."
He sounded pleased, "I suppose that is going to put a crimp in your social life."
She shot him an annoyed look before casting her eyes back to the book in her hands. "How much longer is Keiko staying here?"
"A little while longer."
She stood and opened the door to her room. "She's a keeper. I really like her." She went inside and shut the door.
He had been wondering why she hadn't pulled any pranks on Keiko. He thought she had stopped because she was dating other men. Now he knew it was because she liked Keiko.
That evening, Byakuya had expected to see Myssa at dinner, but she was absent. He went to her room to see if she was still working and had forgotten to stop for a meal. The last time he had seen her was when she gave him a report mid-afternoon. The report had been promising and seemed that the new materials would help her track down the last four relics.
Tamor informed Byakuya that Myssa had gone out on a date with Kenpatchi Zaraki. It was the straw that broke the camel's back. His mind played out so many scenarios of Zaraki with Myssa that he drove himself crazy. He was so upset he went to Rukia. When he explained to her that he wanted her to talk to Myssa and warn her to stay away from Zaraki, Rukia had had to fight down a smile. She had never seen her brother so agitated over anything, and certainly not over a woman.
"Look, if it bothers you so much to see her going out with other men then do something about it. Tell her how you feel." Rukia said.
"I cannot. She has made it clear that we are just friends."
"Is that what you want?" She asked. "Maybe it's time for you to listen to your heart and follow it, brother."
He realized that he'd emotionally painted himself into a corner. He'd given himself excuse after excuse to put off accepting what he felt. Logic told him it wasn't supposed to happen so fast. But, in that moment he finally allowed the word to have a voice…Love. I love Myssa. I don't want to be her friend, I want to be her husband. I cannot imagine the world without her in it.
His silences were hard to read so Rukia pressed on. "I'll come over later and talk to Myssa."
The relief on his face was instant. "Thank you, Rukia."
-A little after 11 o'clock-
When Myssa got home, she found Rukia sitting outside her room with Tamor. They were playing cards and talking. She smiled when she saw her friend, "Hi, Rukia!"
"How was your date with Captain Zaraki?" No beating around the bush, Rukia jumped right in.
"Interesting." Myssa sat down next to her. "He is a very blunt man."
Rukia gave a little laugh. "He is rather rough around the edges."
Myssa giggled. "He reminds me so much of my brother Rygar it's scary. Which is probably why I like Kenny, I understand his particular brand of crazy."
"So, you had a good time with him?"
"Yeah, it was fun. I asked him out so I could talk to him about his eye patch."
"Are you having trouble with your bracelets?" Rukia was concerned.
"Not exactly. It's just a bit of an adjustment that's taking longer than I thought. Kenny was really helpful. He told me I should take the bracelets off at least once a week to get used to the rush of reiatsu so I can gain control over it. He even offered to help me." She grinned, "Then, he gave me a big grin and said 'Wanna fuck?'"
Rukia gasped, "What?!"
"I told you, the man is very blunt."
"Yes. One of the reasons he and my brother don't get along."
"Maybe." She paused, then. "Y'know, I'm just guessing here but I think those two envy something about each other."
"I can't imagine what."
"Think about it. Kenny has no family, no roots other than those he's created for himself, he's from the poorest district in the Soul Society. He's almost the complete opposite of Byakuya."
"That I can see. But, Byakuya? What could my brother possibly envy about Captain Zaraki?"
"You're kidding, right?" Myssa said. "Byakuya is so burdened with the weight of duty and the expectations of nobility. Don't you think he'd like to be able to forget all of that and do or say whatever he wants, whenever he wants? Kenny lives with a freedom that Byakuya will never be able to."
"I never thought about that." Rukia's eyes met and held Myssa's, "You care for my brother, don't you?"
"Yes, I do. Probably more than I should."
"Do you…love my brother?"
Myssa sighed. "Rukia, what I feel for Byakuya is unlike anything I have ever experienced before. 'Love' seems like too small a word to describe it."
"You should tell him."
"No. It would end our friendship." Myssa said. "It has been made very clear to me that Byakuya and I will never be more than friends. I am…unsuitable as anything else."
"That's not true. He doesn't care about your lineage."
"Why should he? I'm not on the list of clan-approved potential brides."
"I know he has feelings for you."
"That changes nothing." Myssa sighed. "His heart still belongs to Hisana. I cannot live with being second in his heart. Maybe that's selfish of me, but I will not give all of myself to someone who will not do the same. Byakuya has decided to marry for duty and I feel sorry for whomever he chooses. She will never be able to truly call him her own."
Rukia scowled, "I think you're wrong."
"I could be. He is so guarded it's hard to know what he feels. For a while he let me see past those walls, but not anymore. The message is very clear: forbidden, off limits, not for you. So, I will remain his friend and be grateful for that because it's better than not having him in my life at all."
Rukia layed her hand Myssa's. "Myssa…"
Myssa sighed again. "Please, I cannot abide pity."
"What will you do? Are you going to keep dating?"
"First and foremost, I made a commitment to hunt down the Kuchiki relics and I will see that through no matter what. As for dating, I only did that to illicit a reaction from Byakuya. I needed to know if there was anything between us worth fighting for." She shook her head. "I know now that there isn't. He will do his duty and marry someone like Keiko to produce an heir for the clan."
"That's not what he wants."
"Isn't it? Doesn't Byakuya always get what he wants? Actions speak much louder than words and his are practically screaming. If he wanted me as more than his friend or his mistress, you and I wouldn't be having this conversation right now."
"You are very wrong, Myssa. I'm here now because of my brother." Myssa looked confused. "He was so upset that he came to me for help."
Myssa couldn't take this, not now. "Rukia, please, whatever you are about to say – don't. I can live with only being his friend. What I cannot live with is the ache of hope burning in my heart for something that I can't have. I'd rather be tortured in the Royal dungeon again. So, let this be an end to this and we will never speak of it again." Tears were escaping down her cheeks. She stood. "I'm sorry, but I must say goodnight." She went into her room and shut the door.
Byakuya had been on his way to his room when he heard Rukia and Myssa talking about her date with Kenpatchi. He started to turn and walk away; he didn't want to hear that she had had fun with the brute. When he heard her say that Kenpatchi reminded her of her brother, he got curious. He hadn't meant to eavesdrop but for some reason his feet were rooted to the spot. When Rukia had asked Myssa if she loved him, he held his breath. Her answer made his heart hammer in his chest. He wanted to round the corner, carry her to his bed, and show her over and over what he felt for her.
What Myssa had said next about Hisana and about him being forbidden had been like a knife in the heart. Worse still was her logic that followed. The word "mistress" had made his blood boil. He would never treat anyone so dishonorably, especially her.
Hearing the utter defeat in her voice upset him more than her date with Kenpatchi. He'd been biding his time until Keiko left before he approached Myssa to state his desire to formally court her. He wanted to do this right, she deserved no less. But, he knew he'd have to step up his plan before he lost her.
