A/N: Okay, I'm really sorry I took this long to update. I had to watch the Track Kiss scene again-and-again to get the details right and it got a little exhausting and took me a lot of time. It's easier for me to make up the in-between stories than put a new spin to already existing scenes because it's important to get the details right for scenes that already exist.

The letter has only *some* bits borrowed from the books, not the entire thing. I made some up because I felt like the sort of things Lara Jean had written in the book, he would definitely have brought up a lot of them while telling her about it. Since this is largely set in the movie-verse, it'll be truer to the movie than to the books.

I know a lot of you were excited for this chapter, but um, I hope I don't disappoint you too much. Don't have too high an expectation though, the letter isn't that great. I had to make sense of Peter's "interrogation" and questions that he asks in the film, so I had to go at it this way. I hope you understand :')


4. Golden Specks


Peter pockets the envelope when his mother walks back in with his and Owen's lunches. Owen grabs his and bolts out of the door, while Peter stares after him before turning to his mother.

"I don't get why he won't just let me drop him off," he says pointedly. "He wouldn't have to wait for the bus and can leave later."

His mother shrugs as she grabs Owen's backpack. "Why do kids do what they do, I'll never know," she says shaking her head as she passes Peter.

When she's in the doorway, she pauses and turns to look at Peter. "Honey, is... everything alright?"

Peter nods. "I'm fine."

She looks at him knowingly. "We're talking about this in the evening," she says pointedly.

He doesn't get defensive and just nods at her in agreement.

"I would interrogate you right away but I have to get this backpack to your brother and then head to the store," she says pointedly. "

He watches his mother leave and feels himself smile. Nothing really escaped her. He starts to get up when he remembers the letter. He takes it out of his pocket and places it on the table, if only to stare at it for a couple of seconds. Letters had a certain charm to them, he supposed.

Eyebrows knit into a small frown, he picks it up and delicately tears the seal. The paper the words are written on is handmade stationery paper, and the frayed corners and the yellowed surface make him think that this was written a while ago.

Dear Peter K

First of all, I refuse to call you Kavinsky. You think you're so cool, going by your last name all of a sudden.

Anyways.

Gen always said that you are the best looking boy in our grade, and I agreed, because sure, you are. But I didn't see the allure of you. Plenty of people are good looking. But that doesn't make them interesting or intriguing or cool.

That was how I felt. And then, you kissed me. You kissed me for no reason.

He does a double take at that, remembering that evening in John Ambrose McLaren's basement; his first real boy-girl party. There was a reason he had kissed her. Spin the Bottle , those were the rules! You can't cheat the bottle!

That was how I felt. And then, you kissed me. You kissed me for no reason. You kissed me for no reason. Even though I knew you liked Gen, and you knew you liked Gen and Gen knew you liked Gen. But you still did it. Just because you could. I really want to know: why would you do that to me? My first kiss was supposed to be something special. I've read about it, what it's supposed to feel like - fireworks and lightning bolts and the sound waves crashing in your ears. I didn't have any of that. Thanks to you, it was as unspecial as a kiss could be.

He frowned, feeling mildly offended at that. He'd thought it was hot, back then. For seventh grade, at least, it was!

The worst part of it is that the stupid, nothing-kiss, made me start liking you.

That makes Peter freeze. He blinks at the words, trying to figure out whether he's read them right or not. He reads that line again. And again. This was news to him. Lara Jean-Song Covey had a crush on him?

I never did before, but after you kissed me, I liked you for the rest of the seventh grade and most of eighth. Your little trick (it had to be one) worked because from then on, I saw you. Up close, your face wasn't so much handsome as beautiful. How many beautiful boys have you ever seen? For me, it was just one. You.

Peter feels his cheeks warm just a little bit. People complimented him quite often, but never quite this way. There was just something so much warmer and personal about it. Maybe it was the choice of words. Maybe it was just seeing them written on paper in someone's handwriting.

When I saw your face up close that day, I suddenly saw so many things about you. Your eyelashes are long. Unfairly long, if you ask me. And the golden specks in your eyes are the most beautiful things I've seen.

He can't help himself when he grabs a spoon to hold it close to his face, as he examines his eyes.

Golden specks?

He doesn't see them. Maybe it's the light.

Do you ever know what it's like to like someone so much, you can't stand it and know that they'll never feel the same way? Probably not. People like you don't have to suffer those kinds of things.

Which is exactly why writing this letter is necessary. I feel so much better now.

Love,
Lara Jean Song.

He re-reads the letter. It was obviously written a while back, but why send it to him now? Maybe she'd heard about Gen, maybe she thought she had a chance? That doesn't sound right to him. He starts to speculate more, but stops himself; it's pointless to go over it in his head. He decides to talk to Lara Jean, and just let her down easy.

He's not in the headspace for this sort of thing right now.

~ LJ&PK ~

He tries to catch her eye from the second the first class begins. But she's not even looking his way; she is, as usual, spaced out, deep in thought. She looks awfully relaxed for someone who had just mailed a love letter to someone.

He spends an entire hour trying to get her attention.

~ LJ&PK ~

The class right before lunch is PE. He's sure he'd find some way to talk to her then, although by now, he's starting to get a little restless. He waits impatiently as students file out of the changing room, tapping the letter against his palm rhythmically, but she's nowhere to be seen. Puzzled, he walks towards the track and sees her in the distance, already running alongside Chris, the two of them talking. Both of them are running ahead of everyone else, and Peter waits under a tree for her to get closer, straight in line of her vision.

While he waits, he starts to rehearse what he's going to say to say to her; the crux of it would be him and Gen were in a weird place right now, and he couldn't think about dating someone else. He is, of course, flattered. That sounds good. He starts to think that maybe that would imply if Gen and him were not in a weird place and if he hadn't just broken up with her, then he would, in fact, date Lara Jean. But that's not what he is going for, he frets. But on the other hand, the seems like gentlest possible way to just not make a scene of it.

Before he thinks any further, she appears in his line of vision. As she gets closer, he looks at her continuously, once again trying to catch her eye, but it's almost like he's invisible. Throwing his hands up in frustration when both Chris and Lara Jean just run past him, he takes after them.

"Hey!" he calls. "Can I talk to you?"

She stops running and looks back. "Um, me?"

She's genuinely confused and not as nervous as he expected her to get. It's almost like she didn't write the letter. Or send it.

"Yeah," he says.

"Hey, PK, I heard my cousin dumped you for a college student, that true?" Chris chimes in.

Peter scoffs at her, laughing in chagrin, because he wanted to forget about that, thank you very much. He didn't want to talk about or hear about it from someone else either.

"I heard you have a tail, is that true, Chris?" he retorts. Wow, real mature, Peter.

"Yep," she says chirpily. "Really cute. Like a little piggy," she finishes, snorting and all the three of them pause on their running.

Nope, definitely not in the mood for this to-and-fro thing right. On normal days, definitely. He could go as far saying that he actually enjoyed this bickering with Chris. But not today. "I need to talk to… I need to talk to Lara Jean."

Chris looks suspicious and waits with narrowed eyes.

"Alone," he says pointedly.

The two girls exchange a look as Chris starts to leave. And Peter is more confused than ever because Lara Jean clearly has no idea what this is about.

"If you need me, I'll be in the nurse's office," she says. "With a migraine," and she gestures towards Peter, the I've got my eyes on you kind, "Googling Justin Trudeau, shirtless."

As she starts to leave, he turns to Lara Jean. Still no sign of nervousness. Was she really that confident and laid back about all of this? Suddenly, he feels a little nervous and knows he needs to let her down as gently as possible. She needs to know his side of the story. Clearly, it was just an infatuation of sorts, and she probably knew that. But the fact that he got the letter in the first place makes him think that maybe she's a little hopeful.

She's looking at him expectantly, and he starts talking. "Look, I wanted to say that I really… I appreciate it, but it's never gonna happen."

"I'm sorry, what?" she asks, genuinely confused as her forehead knits in a tiny frown and she's smiling at him in a bemused What're you on about way. He couldn't believe this was the route she was taking, and he really didn't want play along so he goes straight to the point.

"From what I remember that kiss was hot, you know, for being in seventh grade…"

Her frown deepens and she looks away from him and into the distance, as if trying to recollect what he was talking about.

"...and I think it's really cool you think I have golden specks in my eyes." Which wasn't really a lie, because no one had ever told him that before.

When he says that, her eyes shoot to his face and he can see something enter her eyes that he doesn't really recognise but he continues, because he needed to tell her everything he's wanted to. It was important to have it all out on the table.

"It's just, Gen and I are in a really weird place right now," and as he says this, he looks away because wow saying that out loud hurt. Either ways… He turns to look at her and continues. "I don't know what you hoped to accomplish-"

And as he watches, three things happen at the same time - realization crosses her face, she pales and then, she collapses.

"Whoa!" he blinks in confusion, and he can't help but think This was not how I expected it go. He looks around to see if anyone's seen what happened, before getting to his knees to crouch beside her.

"Hey, Lara Jean," he says, and for a crazy moment, wonders if this was her way of just avoiding confrontation. But she still looks pale. "Lara Jean! Lara Jean, wake up!"

He looks around again and calls out, trying to draw attention. "Hello? Hey, can I get some help over here?"

He waves a hand in front of her face, and smart, really smart, Peter. She will react to that wave with her eyes closed. "Hey. Hey… Wake up!"

Her eyes fly open and she lets out a small groan.

"Are you okay?"

"What happened?" she asks, looking at him in a very disoriented manner.

"You fainted," he says a matter-of-fact voice.

"Oh…" she says, as she closes her eyes again and lets her head loll to the side. "Okay."

"Here, give me your hand," he says and reaches out himself as he takes one hand in his. "And the other one, too."

"Come on, you got this." Groaning under her breath, she complies and he pulls her into a sitting position. "Here we go. And you're up."

She starts to rub the back of her head and he looks at her, concerned. "Want me to call someone, get you some water?"

"No, I'm okay," she nods.

"You sure?" he asks again.

"Oh, my God," she says softly, horrified at something. He frowns and looks around, and says it again in a disbelieving way. "Oh, my God!"

And suddenly, her hand is curling around the back of his neck and she's pushing him down with the other. "Oh... Okay. Wha…" he starts to stutter, because really, what is happening right now.

He finds out. She cuts him as he feels her lips on his. His first thought is that he has muscle memory of her lips*. And she's kissing him. Now. On the track. To say he was surprised was an overstatement. Though disoriented at first, and despite himself, he's starting to kiss her back** and almost wraps a hand around her waist when -

"Hey!" the coach interrupts. "Stop that!"

And as suddenly it had started, it stops. She's hovering over him, a frown still etched on her face and she looks like she herself doesn't know quite what happened.

"Two more laps for you, Covey!" barks the coach.

She scrambles to her feet, gesturing at him as if to say stay put. He's still on the floor, staring up at her, waiting for an explanation. Instead, she mumbles a, "Thank you," (Thank you!?) and takes off.

"Wait... Wha…" mutters Peter.

Flees, would be the more appropriate word, as she runs without looking back up the path and towards the school building. She passes a confused looking Sanderson on the way, and for someone who is supposedly her friend, she doesn't even stop to listen to what Sanderson has started to say.

"Lara Jean!" he calls, as she disappears, and Peter stares after her as he raises himself on his elbows.

Sanderson's looking at him in a suspicious way and starts to say something, but deciding against it, turns around and walks away.

Peter's still on the ground when he catches Emily Nussbaum's shocked gaze. She's looking at him with eyebrows raised and mouth slightly agape. He groans internally because he knows what's coming next. He starts to get to his feet and wonders darkly if he could just keep his phone aside all day.

And now he really needed to talk to Lara Jean. Put an end to whatever just happened. Right now.


A/N: * this line was Lara Jean's reaction from the book, so I thought it'd be "nice" to just include that Peter was thinking the same thing.

** this is a fact. I watched the scene so many times now that literally, you can see that he gets over the show and he is starting to hold her when she backs away. I giggled so hard at this discovery.

And I'm really sorry I know there's not a lot of ADDITIONAL content in this, but it was getting too lengthy. I already am working on the next chapter though.

Also, I'm trying to play with the conflict of Peter sort of liking Lara Jean already. Even if it was just a teensy little bit. That's not canon you say? Well, Kitty Covey disagrees ;) ;)

Anyways, I love you guys :) You're all wonderfully supportive and I hope you stay this way !