Chapter Forty
Take Nothing from Us
Content warning for allusions to sexual abuse of minors.
Sight itself rushes towards Chrollo. At first a blur of faded colors, as if he's become half-blind. And then shadowed images give way to vibrant and frightened people, and all their eyes are on him, and they're all people he loves. Even the man who betrayed him over and over, the man he killed once, is grinning down at Chrollo.
Just to his left, Kurapika's red and swollen Scarlet eyes wash over him. A flush of shame rises on the Kurta's cheeks, and his mouth opens to beg forgiveness. His hand pressed against his trembling lips, afraid to believe the truth could be so kind.
Phinks releases a wail that Oito initially mistakes for Woble. Shizuku grabs Melody's hand, and Leorio and Cheadle exchange relieved smiles. Nobunaga turns to glare at Feitan and Machi, but finds it difficult to remain angry at his sniffling, pregnant friend.
Kalluto throws his arms around the two. "You're so smart!"
Chrollo pushes himself to sit upright. He breathes delicately, afraid that he'll stop again, afraid that life would be so kind. Afraid because, despite his own power, he was rendered weak enough to rely completely on his friends.
Kalluto steps forward, only to hesitate.
Chrollo smiles at him, swallowing the lump in his throat. He wanted to touch Kurapika first. "You can hug me, Kalluto."
The kid rushes forward to squeeze him in an embrace tighter than Gyro's chains.
Kurapika squeaks. But dare he ask for forgiveness? This is his fault. He does not deserve Chrollo's sacrifice. For his sins.
"You were first and last in his thoughts." Alluka's mellifluous voice breaks into Kurapika's shame.
Chrollo's eyes, warm and grey like a sunset cloud, beg him. Beg him to understand that he truly does care.
Kurapika hurls himself into Chrollo's arms, and Chrollo doesn't care who touched him first or last anymore, because Kurapika is here, and he has a life to spend with him.
Kurapika's hands comb through Chrollo's filthy, greasy hair, his tears fall on Chrollo's cheeks. He wishes he could show him how much his life means to him.
"I don't regret it," Chrollo insists as their tears mix. "I'd do it again and again."
Kurapika laughs with relief. His heart feels as though it will burst. "I thought I was the one with the martyr complex."
"There's a difference between a martyr complex and true martyrdom," Chrollo muses.
"Oh, calling yourself a martyr, aren't we? I'm the one who saved you. In fact, this is my second resurrection. Really, I'm almost Jesus at this point." Hisoka snickers.
"Jesus resurrected three people, not counting himself, so no, you're not," Chrollo turns from caressing Kurapika face to correct Hisoka immediately.
"You had to rely on me," Hisoka says, undaunted.
Chrollo's eyes flit to Feitan. "You really couldn't think of a better plan?"
Feitan jerks his thumb behind him, to Machi.
"Machi?" Chrollo feigns hurt. "I thought you liked me better than that!"
She speaks in third person, using exasperation to cover her own indescribable relief. "Machi witnessed the first Bungee Gum resurrection –"
"Sugar Rush," Hisoka interrupts.
"I'm pregnant and traumatized. Don't piss me off, clown." Machi rubs her small stomach.
"Wait. You knew? You knew this would happen?" Phinks cries.
"Hisoka ex machina…" muses the clown, drawing a groan from Illumi.
"This is really your husband?" Milluki hisses.
"To be fair, I knew, too," says Oito.
"What?!" Phinks shrieks.
"I helped plan for the worst-case scenario with Machi. We roped Feitan in, and no one else, though I'd suspect Cheadle, Melody, and Franklin had their suspicions." Oito winces.
"So did I," Shizuku admits.
"It's not that we wanted to deceive you. Or to make Chrollo worry. It's…that we couldn't fall into Gyro's plan, which clearly involved a rescue." Oito lowers her eyes. She hates the hurt in Phink's eyes. "My – I mean, Nasubi – he used to do that. To nobles he no longer cared for. Their entire houses could be brought down by one false change and one foolhardy rescue attempt."
"It's not uncommon," Illumi adds. He's played his part killing in such events.
"But why not tell Kurapika, at least? I thought everyone knew." Gon looks incensed.
Killua rolled his eyes. "Isn't it obvious? They want Kurapika. He was the original target. They're watching him."
Kurapika's face pales.
"If your behavior was even slightly suspicious, it could have killed us all," Machi says, looking straight at him. "I'm not really sorry."
Kurapika nods. "I know."
He probably deserved to suffer, anyway.
His hands run down the smooth skin of Chrollo's back. Not even a scar remains, despite the blood and debris that cot his pants and hair "I'm a fool."
"I know," Chrollo says, with a wink.
Kurapika laughs nervously. He looks away, despising the tears that begin afresh. "Aren't you angry? I – pretended to be so righteous – and I was – a villain in my own right."
"I have a soft spot for villains." Chrollo's fingers, straight and unbroken, brush away Kurapika's tears.
Hisoka chortles, and even Feitan begrudgingly smiles.
"We're all villains. Even Gon's done terrible things. I've killed more than you, Kurapika." Killua lowers his head. "I was under direction, but I still did it. We're all villains, but we don't have to stop here."
"I, for one, enjoy learning that no one is as moral as you seemed when we first met." Leorio sniffs. Cheadle pokes him, and he winces.
Kurapika eyes their familiarity. How interesting.
"I think the point is to become better," Gon says dryly.
"Even when you're old," says a towering woman. "I'm Tsubone, a Zoldyck butler."
"The one with motorized nen," Chrollo says, eyes widening.
"Don't steal it!" Alluka squawks, eliciting a good-natured wink from Chrollo.
"I suppose we should do introductions." Illumi claps his hands. "Let's have everyone say their name, faction, and nen technique."
"Am I in school again?" Leorio's eyebrows raise.
"I wouldn't know. I never went to school," Illumi says, completely deadpan.
"Leorio, kindly accept that you're the most ordinary person here," Killua teases.
The harbor of Meteor City is filled with refuse and dust. Salt and rotten fish stink the dusky air.
And here, on the outskirts of the hazy city, away from the fires and broken glass and bodies of the riots, Gyro watches Magistrate Valdrada's body sink beneath the ocean waves. Magistrates are dime-a-dozen these days. No one will miss this pompous ass.
He spared the daughter, though. Valdrada's daughter reminds Gyro of himself. He merely hopes that she will come to the revelation that love is a lie, too, because her father was just using her.
She was too old for him to show her more, though.
"Sir, I think things will be okay. I'm sure of it." Bizeff has long lost the anxious sheen from his days as Secretary of State in NGL. Coated in rags and grime, with even his eyebrows beginning to turn gray, Bizeff looks truly pathetic.
Bizeff looks how Gyro feels inside. Perhaps he should have given the daughter to Bizeff.
"We're not dead until we're dead, yes?" Bizeff forces a smile.
"I am already dead, or have you forgotten?" Gyro tilts his head as the sun is blocked by a ridiculous boat shaped like a whale.
"You're more alive than that one," Bizeff mutters.
"Do you love me, Bizeff?" Gyro asks, a dark tint to his tone.
"No, of course not," Bizeff says quickly. "Only what you provide me with, my King."
"Then why do you still call me king? Did you think I enjoyed a title? My name and titles are meaningless. Tools only. Becoming an ant only solidified my inhumanity." Gyro's eyes bore into the now-trembling Bizeff. Why, if he's no longer human, does he feel weaker? "Don't talk again."
"I shan't." Bizeff cringes as soon as his mouth closes.
Gyro rolls his eyes. He expected no better.
The troupe should have turned on the Kurta devil, or used his eyes as a bargaining tool. The Kurta should have turned himself in.
They wouldn't all work together. Not for a leader who fell in love with their enemy. What kind of loyalty was that?
What is wrong with humans?
Oito waves her cell phone as soon as she finishes introducing herself. "And I've just been informed that my former sister-wives have made it here early after all."
"The Black Whale?" Hisoka is mildly impressed. Perhaps he wasn't as good a captain as he thought.
He's strangely okay with that. Not being the best. Something's wrong with him; maybe it's just leftover emotion from saving Chrollo and Illumi.
"So what do we do now?" Morel crosses his arms over his broad chest. In some ways, his build reminds Chrollo of a smaller, gentler Uvogin.
"People are dying outside," Melody says quietly.
"The riots usually end by dawn," Canary says. "I remember."
Her parents died, and she wound up in an orphanage until Silva brought her to the Zoldycks. Though they were the doom of many, she thought the Zoldycks her salvation.
"I think if they see Chrollo's 'ghost' more panic erupt, with their state in such disrepair," Knov, the man who looks like a ghost himself, adds.
Oito sighs. "We could sneak out under cover of darkness."
"That would be the safest option." Illumi points his finger towards the ceiling. "Never pick a fight you can't win. I still believe that."
"I think that's boring," Hisoka shoots back.
"We know," Nobunaga says grumpily.
Hisoka, for one second, looks mildly abashed. Fuck. Leftover emotion, that's all. He's still himself. Unchanging.
Kurapika surveys the discomfort on the Troupe's faces, the dismay on Chrollo's. "But this is their home."
"Not much of one," Hisoka interjects.
"Now I understand why the troupe wanted to kill you," Ikalgo teases.
"Excuse me if I don't listen to an octopus!"
"He's a Chimera Ant. Check your prejudice," Milluki replies.
"Kurapika, continue." Chrollo smiles encouragement at him.
"If I … had people to return to, I would fought the entire Troupe just for a one-percent chance to free my family." Kurapika swallows.
"Considering you still did it for a zero percent chance…" Beyond winks.
"I…I am very distressed." Ikalgo waves a tentacle. "Gyro, my king, is behind this? He doesn't care about Scarlet Eyes or pretty treasures. He cares about chaos and upending the world. Why start from a place like Meteor City?"
"Because people here aren't trash," Knuckle says. "Because they matter. And they're strong in ways the rest of the world isn't."
Machi stiffens.
"What is it?" Feitan asks anxiously.
"It's not the kid. Calm yourself." She places her hands on her hips. "It's the disappearances. All ants."
"Right…" Shoot says slowly.
"Ants have learned nen power and many of them are stronger than humans." Machi points to Palm, who blushes a little.
Killua does not miss the small smile on Milluki's face when he notices pink on Palm's cheeks.
"So?" Meleoron asks.
"So…nothing, nothing exactly." Machi sighs.
"Instinct?" Chrollo pries.
She nods. "I'm sure they're connected. Gyro and the ants."
"Well, I mean, he is one," Ikalgo says.
She waves impatiently. "No, more than that."
"What do you think?" Alluka turns towards Hisoka.
"Excuse me?" Hisoka is uncharacteristically sullen.
"He's in your thoughts a lot." Alluka blinks innocently at Hisoka. "Gyro."
"Of course he is. He was Gyro's pampered kid," says Nobunaga, rolling with eyes.
"Fun thing, the pampering happened to my mother, not to me." Hisoka tilts his head, but there's an edge to his voice.
He'd thought he was pampered. Even more than his mother. Gyro had even said Hisoka was better.
He hadn't known. He hadn't. Hisoka snickers to cover up an instinctual shiver.
Illumi has gone still. Killua knows his brother well enough to see that he is fighting to control his bloodlust.
What does Illumi know? Killua didn't think there were secrets anymore.
"She wouldn't still be in Gyro's mansion, I presume?" Silva dodges the attack from a knife-wielding man and allows Kikyo to crush him into unconsciousness with her nen.
"She's far too old, now." Kikyo's heart flutters with misery. How unprofessional of her.
She's never escaped this city.
"Your children won't always save you."
"Mine will." Kikyo sticks out her tongue and stomps away.
But Illuna calls out to her. A question.
"It's his, isn't it?"
Kikyo doesn't say anything. She merely meets her friend's eyes, and that's enough.
Because Illuna won't leave him now. She must stay his concubine as long as possible, for herself and her child, the bastard child Gyro's accepted like his own.
"He said he liked me because I looked very young, like a child," Kikyo says, her voice wavering. "He made me say I was younger."
The rest remains unspoken, but tangible.
I didn't kill him for your sake.
Illuna looks at her chubby-cheeked baby, who cackles with glee as he chews her fingers.
His face isn't hollow anymore. He's laughing, instead of crying for milk she wasn't able to provide.
Illuna exhales. "…Better he's here than starving to death. Besides, you're a girl, and he is not."
Kikyo burns with fury. Perhaps Illuna hasn't changed. Perhaps her baby hasn't saved her after all.
It doesn't matter. Hers will. Because she'll never risk them.
She leaves as quickly as she can.
"If she's alive, we can locate her quickly. Redheaded prostitutes don't go out of fashion, even with age," Kikyo says.
Silva draws her closer to him. Possessively. She likes being his possession. "You're not like these people."
"I know." Kikyo smiles up at her towering husband. Silva married her the very day she dropped her raven-haired infant off on the orphanage door.
Now you're no longer Meteor City scum, he whispered, drawing her to his lips. Now you're a Zoldyck.
Kikyo squares her shoulders as they approach the most popular brothel. She will let her name be her armor, and save her children before they save her.
"And?" Adorned in a fuchsia satin jacket and nen glitter, First Mate Mercyn – or Captain Mercyn – or Pariston Hill – eclipses the few stars visible above Meteor City's smog. Most of Kakin will remain on board for the few days they're docked here; only the queens have official business, and that won't start until dawn.
For now, he can meet his pawns safely on the dock without suspicion.
"And they didn't take our bait," Gyro says calmly.
"The magistrate?" Pariston asks abruptly.
"You don't have to worry about him anymore," Gyro says, at the same time Bizeff blurts out, "He's dead!"
Pariston draws back daintily. "Oh. Oh dear. I'd prefer not to know those dour details."
"There were riots after the death of the Spider," says Gyro.
Pariston smiles coyly. "Are you sure he's dead?"
"He had no pulse."
"Ah, but as I've told you, point one: Hisoka Morow has lost his heart to Illumi Zoldyck." Pariston holds up a finger with each point. "Point two: Illumi has recently reconciled with his siblings during our adventures in the Dark Continent. Point three: at least one of his siblings is a former Ai, a creature dangerous and powerful enough leave render raising the dead a distinct possibility."
Gyro wrinkles his nose. Hisoka had so much inhuman potential. Of all Gyro's mentees, Hisoka was the most murderous, the most sadistic, the most afraid of being human. The one who was eager to do whatever pleased Gyro.
And then he had to go and lose to Chrollo Lucilfer.
"I want those eyes," Pariston says irritably. "If we have to destroy all of Meteor City to obtain that Kurta, we will."
No, Gyro thinks, you won't. I will get them, and use them to destroy you and your pet projects.
"There's one thing," Gyro says. "Chrollo's actions made his feelings for that doxy perfectly clear."
"And yet, they weren't enough to spare Chrollo." Pariston wishes he could have seen the Spider writhe under the whip. The mightiest and strongest of nen users, reduced to a yielding lamb to save his hellion. "Now we have a city in chaos, hunters nearby, and possible Zoldycks."
Pariston leans closer. "You said you know this city."
"The Troupe barely count as citizens anymore."
"No? They send more aid than NGL ever did. Were you not just helping yourselves to their women and children?" Pariston giggles.
His eyes glitter. "I will succeed, and you will fail in your grand scheme. Whether you want to fail into your small schemes is up to you. But right now, Ant, you best remember I am your owner."
"Well, I think we have a solid plan with some of the most devious minds in the world," says Chrollo.
"That includes you, Chain Dude," Nobunaga says dryly.
Kurapika nods. He will – he will recover Chrollo's home if it's the last thing he does.
A part of him feels like it should be. Because when you've fallen so far, you slip on your way up.
Chrollo misses the closeness of their hug from earlier. Now it feels that Kurapika is avoiding his eyes, positioning himself just far enough away that Chrollo isn't touching him. "Kurapika…what is troubling you?"
Kurapika hesitates. Why speak in front of all these people?
But then, they all heard his crimes earlier today. Or most of them did. They all know by now. Why should he keep any secrets? Why should he not lay his shame bare?
"I regressed, as if I'd learned nothing." Kurapika bows his head. "I tried to use Emperor Time, I tried to kill myself, I spat on all of you."
"It happens under duress," Gon says sympathetically.
"I can't forgive myself." Kurapika's jaw twitches. "I don't learn. Even if we survive, even if we win – I don't think I'm fit to be here."
"Are you kidding me?" Palm laughs. "I'm sorry, but let me repeat: you're surrounded by assassins, thieves, mass murderers, trauma victims and mixtures of different species, and you think you're unfit? Don't think so highly of yourself."
"I regressed –"
"You didn't regress." Phinks shoves his hands in his pockets. "From what I can tell, you at least finally let your friends save you."
"Does that make you his friend?" Hisoka claps his hands together.
"Don't push it," Phinks warns.
"Yes," Oito says simultaneously, throwing a grin his way.
"It makes us his friends, of a sort. You could have fought us if you wanted to." Machi addresses Kurapika.
"You're pregnant," Kurapika protests.
"I'm not fragile, goddammit!" Machi shakes her fist in his face. "I'll still beat your ass in arm-wrestling. Just like I beat Danchou!"
"Wait, really?" Kalluto demands.
"And I beat you." Feitan grins.
"Shut up, you." Machi pinches him.
"That is fucking adorable." Hisoka grins, because he loves bothering Feitan. The little man's cheeks heat up whenever Machi touches him.
Chrollo watches them all in amusement. He feels warm, and alive, so alive he wants to stay alive. "I forgot how much I loved this."
"Bickering?" Franklin asks.
"It's like family," Melody suggests.
"A very dysfunctional one," says Shoot.
"Still less dysfunctional than the Zoldycks." Tsubone clears her throat. "If you don't mind me saying."
Illumi shakes his head. A lump rise in his throat. These people – are like family to him, too – well, many of them. And unlike his parents, he doesn't fear them.
He's not sure that's a good thing. Well, it feels good, but is it good? He's been told his entire life it isn't.
Chrollo turns to Kurapika. Kurapika's worst crimes were better than Chrollo's best. Had he ever stopped to consider that some of his victims might have been pregnant?
He wants to tell Kurapika that, to drill into his stubborn golden head that he has hope and love and friendship, and that he can accept the aid of his friends. That he can be an accepter, for once, instead of a giver.
But now is not the time, despite his love for the people gathered.
"We're going to reclaim this city." He holds out his hand to Kurapika. "And I want you by my side, Kura."
The soft, buttery way Chrollo speaks his special nickname pierces through Kurapika's self-prison. He takes Chrollo's hand, and Chrollo pulls him to his feet, draws him close until their chest are touching.
"Yes."
Hisoka cocks his head. "I'm unsure if we're witnessing a wartime alliance or an engagement."
