The song for this chapter is Alex Vargas - Oh love, how you break me up
MURPHY'S POV (Future):
The moment I walked into the kitchen of our home I was greeted by the smell of breakfast and the beautiful sight of my girl dancing around in one of my shirts. My heart swelled when she turned around with the pan of eggs in her hand in a hip thrusting bounce.
She grinned when she saw me. "Just in time." She set the pan aside.
I walked to her ready for my lips to be on hers. My arms wrapped around her waist like vines around a forgotten headstone.
"Happy Anniversary," She looked up at me with those brown eyes that made me feel like I was drowning. "I got you something,"
"I thought we agreed on no presents. Something about how we were gifts enough." I leaned down with a kiss on her nose. "Aren't those your words?"
She laughed. "This is a gift for the both of us. For later." She turned around in my arms to finish breakfast.
My mouth went to the soft crook in her neck to plant delicate kisses. "Are you going to be naked? Cuz I like naked." I reached for a piece of bacon.
She smacked my hand. "Not yet."
"You cooked enough for an army." I took in all the food and it hit me. "Did you invite someone?"
"Before you get worked up, I invited Bellamy and Clarke. They're bringing the baby." She gestured for me to go to fix the lock on the door that we broke last night after a drunken night out that ended up in a bit of sex all over the place.
As I fixed the lock that I knew she could easily fix I thought about how a year had flown by. How we'd taken the plunge to separate ourselves from the hectic lifestyle of the Club. How in our time together we lived in peace and happiness.
"Raven," I called from the door.
Her eyes fell on me.
"Thank you,"
The smile that graced her face made everything worth it, all the fighting and lying. What we had was worth it.
"I love you, John Murphy."
No matter how many times I heard those words leave her lips part of me still was in disbelief that she was here with me and she wasn't running.
(Present)
The day had started off awfully. I woke up early in hopes of going on a ride with Bellamy, not to tell him about Raven but to vent without venting, but he was off with Clarke on some romantic outing for the morning. For some reason, Emori wasn't talking to me. To top it off, I dreamed some fantasy ass shit that Raven and I were riding off into the sunset together. The worst part about that was realizing that it was a dream after I woke up.
I allowed myself to let my guard down around her, to picture some semblance of a life where I could be happy with her, and I was let down.
Octavia opened my bedroom door when I began to fasten my button up. "Are you ready to tell me yet what happened last night?"
I motioned for her to come inside.
Later that morning, everyone gathered into the restaurant of the Clubhouse with our dirt bike goggles and helmets in our arms to take a shot before we went on our monthly dirt bike desert ride. It was one of the best times for us as a family. The open road, fun, the heat.
"Remember the number one rule," Bellamy held up his shot. He looked at me with a grin.
"Have fun, Delinquents," I demanded in good nature.
We all tipped back our shots except for Clarke.
"Woah!" A few hooped and hollered in excitement.
Bellamy and I pounded our fists before he slung his arm around Clarke and they did their cute little family thing.
Octavia talked to Raven in the back who had the most guilty pair of eyes I'd ever seen while Octavia tried to comfort her.
My eyes rolled. I took another shot for good measure.
Emori laughed at something Echo said before I put myself into her path. She caught herself. "Hey,"
"Hey yourself," I looked down at her and took in her beautiful features to remind myself why I loved her. But nothing fluttered in my chest like it once did.
She laughed at me as she leaned in. "Not going to happen,"
I backed her into the wall. "You sure about that?"
Her eyes held uncertainty as they roamed over my body. "What about your girl?"
"What about her?" I smirked.
"You're such a dick," She grinned. "But I'll ride with you if it'll get you off my back."
Thank God she was smart enough to understand this wasn't me wanting to start things back up with her. I simply wanted to make Raven jealous. Sure, it was shitty to use Emori for it but we were both over each other and I'm sure she could use it to her advantage with Shaw. Win-win.
Everyone gathered outside and partnered up on their dirt bikes.
Emori slid on my bike behind me, her arms wrapped around me. She leaned forward to whisper into my ear. "Everyone is watching,"
I chuckled. My eyes locked on Raven who was still by Octavia's side. "Good," I said.
She had a mask of calm on her face but I could tell from her stiff stance, hard eyes, and clenched jaw that she was anything put.
Bellamy looked between us in confusion.
Octavia marched over to us. "What the hell do you think you're doing?" She angrily whispered in my face.
I shoved her back enough so she wasn't in my personal bubble. "Chill, O."
"You're really not going to let Raven ride with you?" She didn't bother to keep her voice down.
Always with the dramatics.
I gave a nonchalant smirk. "She can ride with you."
Before any more arguments could be had I took off.
There was nothing like racing in the heat, high on the thrill of ripping into the earth with an exhilarating speed. It was different than riding our motorcycles on the asphalt. It was more playful. And it was truly our time to run amok out in the open.
Once we got to our normal spot some didn't bother riding but gathered around the tailgate Miller and Jackson set up in the back of their truck. The zoom of engines and trail of dust in the air painted the scene.
Emori and I rode around for a bit before she tapped my shoulder to stop. "I'm hungry,"
I came to a halt several feet away from the tailgate. We took off our helmets.
She got off and came around to lean on my handlebars. "Fix things with Raven, kay?"
It wasn't that simple.
"Cuz I haven't seen you so alive since that night we-"
"Pulled a Bonnie and Clyde at that gas station."
We laughed as we reminisced.
That had actually been one of the only times in our relationship it felt exciting. We used sex to keep us alive. Our thing had never been about getting to know each other better, it had only been about getting between the sheets. With Raven, it was so much more than that. At least, that's what I thought.
Emori's hand went to my cheek and then her lips pressed into mine in a goodbye kiss that perhaps both of us needed to truly make peace with our demise. She left me with faraway eyes.
RAVEN'S POV:
"Maybe you should go talk to him," Octavia suggested.
I would've thought her of all people would be on his side at the end of the day, yet here she was backing me up. What had I'd done to deserve that from her when I knew she loved Murphy in a way that went beyond me.
"Not yet. I tried to go to him last night but I could tell neither of us was ready for that conversation." I watched him with Emori.
Were they getting back together? I thought she was seeing Shaw? Did he lie to me when he said they were water under the bridge?
Octavia also watched them but her look was different; subdued but longing, trained to not raise brows. Was she really that worried about what her brother would think?
She felt me staring so she averted her eyes.
Word vomit occasionally flared up in me when things felt like they were crashing down on top of me. So, "Why are you lying to him?" came out of my mouth.
The look on her face was laughable but this was serious.
"What the hell you talking about?"
My eyes stayed on her until the right words came in this sensitive situation. "He told me about you two. Or, well, I guessed it. You hide your feelings from him. Why?"
She struggled to find what to say. "It wouldn't matter. He's always had feelings for someone else and it's never been me."
I could feel my heart ache for her. I couldn't imagine having such strong feelings for someone like him to not have them reciprocated. Actually, I could.
"So you don't think he deserves to know?" I twisted my fingers. "He might not have ever considered it."
She pointed at me. "That right there is reason enough for him to not know." Her head shook. "I don't want someone that wouldn't think twice about being with me in any kind of way."
But I felt guilty for trying to work on whatever strand of a relationship we had left.
"I don't want to be in the way," I told her.
I actually respected Octavia. That was part of the reason I didn't want to ever tell her I knew Finn.
She turned to me. "You'll never be in the way, Raven. John doesn't love me in that way. He never will. I'm okay with that. I like our relationship now."
I could feel myself get awkward readying myself to ask the question that haunted me since I put two and two together. "Have you two...you know, since..."
"No," She smirked. "Not since the first night you got here."
"Oh," My eyes fell down to my hands. "I'm terrified," I admitted with a huff before I looked up at her. "I'm not good at trying to make things work. What if I screw them up even worse?"
She shrugged. "At least, you can say you tried. Then you move on with your life."
The very thought of things not working out gave me anxiety. Then again, the thought of them working out also gave me anxiety. I didn't want to run anymore but I also wanted the fastest road out of this town.
Then I looked on as Emori kissed Murphy. I felt a spike of jealousy in my throat. Never had I been the girl that got the little green monster on her shoulder or grew red with rage over a guy. But I hadn't ever cared that much before Murphy. So it was safe to say I could spit fire.
MURPHY'S POV:
When I looked up I saw Raven clutching a beer bottle with an unreadable look at Emori, but then she met my eyes with a glare.
She didn't have a right to be mad. She tricked and manipulated me to like her. Yet here she was, jealous as the day was clear. So maybe some of those feelings weren't fake like she promised.
Clarke came up to me. "You two fighting?"
I shrugged. "Whatever,"
She gave me a narrowed eyed look. "No, not whatever. What happened?"
"Nothing that I shouldn't have seen coming." I stood.
I needed to think of a cover.
Clarke placed her hand on my shoulder, her hair glowed like a halo under the Sun. "Well, if you want to talk about it we're here for you."
I noticed Bellamy talking to Octavia away from the others.
Fuck. If he even for one-second thought she was a mole he'd dig her grave faster than I could down a shot. But I was tired of being the bigger person.
By the time some food was done, we all gathered around in a toast from Bellamy because I wasn't in much of a speech giving mood.
"To new additions in our family," He smiled down at Clarke.
Really, Bell? Raven wasn't family. She was still planning to run the first chance she got.
Clarke beamed at him before she looked at all of us. "It's still a little early but we couldn't wait to share the news. I'm a few weeks pregnant."
My eyes widened. But he had only said they were trying.
"We went to a family practice and we just got the news this morning," She almost bounced in joy.
I went to hug Clarke. "I hope the baby looks like you," I teased.
She laughed in my embrace.
Bellamy and I hugged it out. We walked off to the side.
"So this is it, huh? You're going to be a dad?"
He nodded, his eyes a little teary. "Yeah, I didn't exactly have the best role model as a dad. Neither of us did."
I waved that away. "That just means we know what not to do."
He gave a grateful look before he reined in his emotions. "Speaking of what not to do," He watched Clarke, Octavia, and Raven celebrate.
The music got turned up and some started dancing in the joy of bringing life into our family.
Bellamy looked down at me. "What was that kiss with Emori?"
I sighed. "I'm not here for a lecture. I know what I'm doing."
"Do you? Cuz it looks like you and Raven are fighting and you're using Emori to get back at her."
My shoulders shrugged. "What do you care? You've got your own family to worry about now." I said harshly.
He grabbed me by the shirt. "You're my brother, John. You always will be."
We hugged each other tightly with a few back pats.
"You haven't had much luck in the love department." He said after we pulled apart. "But from the moment Raven showed up, there's been this connection between you. Now I don't know what happened and you don't have to tell me but I think I can safely say from all of us that you'd be an idiot if you didn't try to make it work. You could start a family of your own." He teased.
I shoved his shoulder. "Fuck off." I tried to hide my grin.
That hadn't ever been something I thought would be a possibility with anyone. Nothing had ever taken off for me in that direction that it seemed logical. And the only semi-good thing I thought I had was broken now. I didn't know if it could ever be put back together like it was.
We walked back over to the others.
Raven and I made eye contact. She let out a breath before she headed my way. "Can we talk?"
I was afraid of what I'd let come out of my mouth so I ignored her.
"Murphy," She said in frustration.
It was better for her if I didn't acknowledge her until I cooled down because there was so much I wanted to say and do to her that was only suitable for our privacy.
She had enough and walked away.
As much as I tried to push her away, I missed her. I missed what I thought we had. I missed what I thought we could be in my mind before I had all the details.
Octavia shoved my shoulder. "Go to her dumbass."
Too many people had noticed we weren't okay and it would be my fault if anyone suspected what was really going on. So I marched toward my dirt bike and rode toward her.
"Get on,"
She crossed her arms. "Why should I?"
I sighed. "Just get on the damn bike, Raven." I half begged.
She gave in and slid on behind me. The moment her body touched mine I felt everything tingle.
We rode far enough out to have this very private conversation. We sat there in silence trying to gather our thoughts for a bit before we got off to face each other.
"What can I do to prove I'm not who you think I am?" She started off.
My head shook. "Nothing. It's fine, we can keep up appearances." If it meant she was safe then I could pull my act together.
Her face twisted in anger. "It's not fine! They can tell that you can't stand to be around me now!" She pointed to herself. "I need to know if I have to run, Murphy. Or they'll kill me,"
"They're not going to kill you." I waved her off as I sat sideways on my bike.
She looked me dead in the eyes. "You can't promise that."
My eyes tried to assure her otherwise but I understood why that wouldn't mean much. So I stood up in front of her. "I won't let them, okay."
She shook her head as if it wasn't enough. "Then fucking act like that. Don't go around kissing people to get a rise out of me. Or tell me to leave. Your choice." She began to walk away.
I grabbed her and pulled her back to me by her waist.
We stared at each other hard.
I probably was an idiot for asking, but I did anyway. "Were you jealous when Emori kissed me?" My eyes ran over her face.
"What do you think?" She said something in a string of Spanish that I'm pretty sure amounted to that I was an asshole. "If you really think that I didn't feel what you felt then why would I be?" She posed.
My teeth gritted together. "You can't make me the bad guy here."
"Then how about we're both the bad guys. I'm not lying to you anymore. I don't know if it's you pulling away but I can't help but want this."
My forehead knitted together. I couldn't help but stare at her. Desserts weren't really my thing but damn I wanted to eat her up.
Her body moved against mine. "I don't want you kissing other girls." She snaked a hand up my chest. "And I know that you don't want to kiss other girls." Her pussy scraped against my cock.
I bit back a moan. "That's not fair,"
"Who said anything about fair," She reached up for a kiss. Her lips were a breath away when sirens sounded from nearby.
A groan of frustration left me.
We got on the bike and rode back to the others to see what the problem was.
I recognized one of the cops on Lexa's payroll. We tried to buy him out but her price was too high. Bellamy was talking to him, trying to explain that we did this every once in a while and that we weren't disturbing the peace.
One of the other officers eyed Raven hard. "Hey, you from around here?"
She stiffened by my side and shook her head.
My chest puffed instinctively as I stepped to shield her. "Are you charging us with something or are we free to leave?" My voice held a controlled violence that I was afraid would bubble out if things turned shitty like they did with the Eligius guy.
Raven's hand went to my arm in warning.
He looked back at his guys and announced, "Clear out and we won't have a problem.
For future reference, think about getting a permit."
Permit my ass.
We all prepared to leave.
Raven started for Octavia but I grabbed her hand. She looked up at me with hopeful eyes.
"You're riding with me." I eyed the pig until we were out of sight. Not only did Raven go down if she was found out, my ass would go to jail but I probably wouldn't make it there if the others figured out I was covering for her.
RAVEN'S POV:
Once we got back to the Clubhouse Murphy pulled me into a hug, but before I could get cozy into it he whispered into my ear. "You're still not forgiven."
I deserved what I got with Murphy earlier. Everything was all my fault so I couldn't fault him for lashing out. We had an understanding now, I guess. He'd protect me. He made that evident from how protective he'd gotten with the cop. As hot as it was, him trying to protect me was what got us here in the first place. That and my dishonesty.
So I wanted to show him that I wasn't going to double cross him or betray him.
I wore one of Octavia's sexy skirts and a top Clarke gave me when I knocked on the office door that he'd been holed up almost all evening.
"Come in," He announced.
My only plan was to make him feel my truth.
He was cleaning his gun when I entered. He stared at me in my leather skirt and swallowed. "Hey," He tried to put his focus on his weapon.
I locked the door behind me and walked over to him. I sat on the desk. "I don't expect you to forgive me, John. That's not why I'm here."
His eyes snapped to mine. "I thought I told you not to call me that." His gaze fell to my legs in front of him. His Adam's apple bobbed. "Why are you here?"
I fell between his legs. "There's not much else I can say but I could show you my loyalty," I slid my hands up his thighs. My eyes shined in a desperate need for him to know I was telling the truth because I didn't have much else going for me right now. Everything hinged on how the two of us would play out.
"If I say I believe you are you going to stop?"
My head shook. I've wanted a taste ever since I laid eyes on him. It just so happened that I could kill two birds with one stone.
He gazed down at me with indecision in his stormy blue eyes
I reached to undo his jeans. My mouth watered in anticipation of the feel of his cock on my tongue while my breath on his crotch resulted in a restrained groan.
He grabbed the back of my head and yanked me up to him. "You think that's going to fix this?" He demanded, his breath tickled my lips.
All I could do was stare at him in need. "I don't know any other way,"
He stared at me long and hard.
"I don't want this lifestyle." I clarified for him. "But I do want you, John."
His gaze turned away from me. "You don't know what you're saying." He released me. "You don't want this."
"You don't know me as well as you think you do," I stood.
"Clearly," He watched me in a masked fascination. "So what? You think that if we fuck it'll fix all our problems? Raven, I don't trust you with any part of me."
I knew that took a lot for him to say so I sat on his lap. "There doesn't have to be trust for us to do what we want to do," I got him to look at me. My hands trailed up his neck and into his hair. "I've never wanted anybody inside of me so bad," My voice was saturated in hunger for whatever he could give me. Even if it wasn't something beyond sex. I wanted him and I know he wanted me. And we couldn't go on like a ticking time bomb before one of us exploded.
"Why can't you be real with me?" He muttered, a furrowed brow wrinkled his face.
"Excuse me?" My hands paused on his chest.
Those sky blue eyes dawned on me in accusation. "You're afraid to be real with me."
Frustration worked its way through me. "What do you think I've been doing this entire time?" I questioned. "You are one of the only real things about this shitty situation. I don't have anything to gain by hiding anything from you now."
What else could I offer besides my body?
"I'll tell you what I know if you want intel."
His head shook. "Not intel." His hands went to my hips and squeezed. "When I asked you to stay that day," He ran his gaze over my face. "Would you have said yes? Would any part of you have wanted to say yes?"
"I don't know," I looked down at his lap, our pelvises joined. "Things were different back then."
His hands squeezed firmer on my hips. "How were they different?"
My eyes locked onto his while a little gasp left me. "I didn't care about you the way I do now." My irritation got the better of me. "Why are you even asking? You hate me now, right?"
"No," He shook his head again. "I don't hate you, Raven. You lied and I don't know if I'll ever be able to trust you again, but I get why you did what you did. Maybe I would've too in your position."
My hips rocked forward against his jean-clad cock. "And what position is that?" I still came here for a reason and I hadn't forgotten it.
He glanced down at my attempt to coax his dick into me and looked back up with lesser restraint. "The position where you do exactly what I say or you end up as a warning for our enemies." His words sunk in but I didn't let them put fear into me. Not right now. Right now I wanted him in me.
My mouth neared his. "I thought you said you wouldn't let them kill me?" I could feel him hard against me.
"There are worse things than killing you," His threat stoked a fire in me.
My mouth trailed up his jaw toward his ear. "In that case, I think you should make sure I know what my punishment is if we get caught." I breathed into his ear. "Maybe hammer it into me a few times because I'm not very good at listening." My tongue licked out along his earlobe.
He sucked in a breath and the next thing I knew his hand was wrapped around my neck. He picked me up by my throat, then slammed me down onto the desk while he hovered over me with the wind knocked out of me, his face was so close to mine. His other hand worked up my skirt.
First of all, how strong was he? Secondly, fuck me now.
My heart raced in anticipation.
His mouth brushed against mine deliciously, his thumb grazed my clit.
My hips bucked. "Mhmm,"
"You're soaking wet," He said in a way that made my pussy throb. He smacked my lips a few times. "How many times have you gotten yourself off while thinking about me?" He loosened his hold on my throat so I could answer.
How many fingers did I have?
I rounded down. "Twentyish."
The look on his face made my hips writhe. It was healthy to be sexually active and accepting. Why should I go through life not experiencing pleasure with people that I visually and perhaps emotionally enjoyed? All in the name of being ladylike.
His eyes darkened in greed. "How many times did you use your fingers and pretend it was my cock?" He pulled on my nipple.
"Too many to count,"
He liked my answer. He spread my precum all over my pussy, then rubbed my clit harshly.
I whimpered.
"Yeah, you like that?
"Yes, sir."
He removed his hand from my neck to rip my shirt down the middle, he smacked my bare tits.
God, it was like he could see into my darkened soul and pinpoint all the dirty, degrading kinks I had. Maybe it was that he had them too? But what confused me was that he seemed capable of caring about me emotionally, so I had to wonder if he really wanted to do these things erotic acts to me for my benefit or for ours?
"Fuck," I moaned. I moved my hips in rhythm with his hand but it wasn't enough. "Please, fuck me."
He took his thumb away from my clit. "Please, fuck me what?"
My pussy throbbed. "Please, fuck me, sir." My eyes begged his.
He thought it over, then settled on, "No, I don't think you've earned it yet." He said in a very James Deen way before he went back to rubbing my clit with his hand, his other hand plunged two fingers into me. He worked up a solid rhythm.
"Ahh," My back arched off the desk. "Oh my god, yes."
He leaned down and sniffed my pussy, a primal groan left him. "Your pussy smells fucking fantastic." His tongue flicked over my clit once.
My hips bucked hard. "Murphy," I grabbed my own tits and pulled on my nipples.
His fingers inside of me worked faster, my walls clenched around him. Slowly but surely, he worked me toward an orgasm. "You're not going to cum without my permission, are you?"
"No, sir." But I was close for sure.
He shook his head. "I don't know if I believe you, I've heard that before."
"Fuck me," I begged. "Can I cum, sir?"
"No," His fingers fucked me harder. He spat on my pussy. "You lay there and think about the consequences if you don't listen."
Those were the magic works because I gushed around his fingers.
"Fuuuuuuck," I cried out.
He was kind enough to let me ride out the orgasm but as soon as I was down from it he pulled out his fingers and stared at me disapprovingly. "Didn't I tell you there were going to be consequences if you didn't listen to me?"
"Punish me, sir," I begged.
He walked over to a closet and came back with a cue stick. He slid the wooden stick up my body. His fingers shoved into my mouth. "Suck," He demanded.
I obeyed enthusiastically. My eyes closed at the feeling of pleasure until the smack of the pool cue hit my skin. The sting of it repeatedly hit me on my thighs, on my stomach, on my tits. On my pussy.
Eventually, he pulled me up to bend me over the desk. He got to his knees, his nose pressed into me, and his tongue made love to me.
My hands gripped the desk while my knees wobbled. The office must've been filled with my moans. When he started to finger me again I let out a loud moan. "Murphy," My eyes squeezed shut. "Fuck me, please."
His hand gripped my hips while in a feeding frenzy.
"Please," I begged. "Fuck me, sir. I need your cock inside of me." I was on the edge of cumming again and from the looks of it he wasn't stopping. So I gripped his hair to hold onto it when I knew I the only place to cum was in his mouth. My eyes locked onto his.
Neither of us broke eye contact.
"Oh, shit. Right there," I gasped. My mouth fell open. My eyes fluttered. "Yes, fuck yes!" I was sure if he moved an inch I'd melt into a puddle on the floor.
He thankfully rose with his hold on me so I could recover. He didn't miss a beat. His clothes flew off. Those strong hands grabbed my hips tightly before he lined himself up and plunged inside of me.
We groaned in unison.
My walls clenched around him. I leaned my back against his chest.
"Fuck," He groaned. He pushed me onto the desk while he pounded into me. "Oh my god, this pussy..."
I bit deep enough into my lip to draw blood. I couldn't help the moans that escaped me.
"What do you say for me?"
"Thank you, sir."
He smacked my ass hard. "Thank you for what?"
"Thank you for fucking me, sir." I was almost ashamed to admit I was going to cum again but I learned my lesson and asked, "Can I cum, sir?"
"Do you think you deserve to cum?"
Because I was a glutton for punishment, I answered, "No,"
He pulled me back to him, his arm went across my body to hold me to him. "Then why are you asking me dumb questions?" He said into my ear. His cock slid in and out of me so fast. He brought his fingers down to play with my clit again.
"Fuck, fuck, fuck."
The sound of us fucking filled the room in the most sexual way.
"Can I cum, sir?" I moaned. "Please, can I cum, sir?"
He grunted into my ear. "You want to cum on my cock?"
I nodded. "Please, sir." His cock was so good.
His hips slapped into me harder. "Cum."
A sigh of relief left me. "Yesssss, Murphy." I felt breathless. "Fuck me," I begged.
Of course, he fucked me through it, then pulled out, and pushed me onto my knees in front of him. He slapped his cock onto my face a few times. "Suck,"
I obliqued eagerly. I took him into my mouth with a moan. My eyes went to his.
He looked down at me with a predatory glare that almost made me cum again. His hand shoved into my hair and pulled.
I moaned around his cock. I took it as deeply as I could. As much as I wanted it back inside of me I didn't want to stop pleasuring him with my mouth. The look of ecstasy on his face was addictive.
He pulled me up to my feet, pushed me back onto the desk, then slid back into my pussy. He groaned loudly. "Fuck, yes."
My hips opened for him. I didn't care if we were in this dominant role play, I wanted to kiss him. So I slid my hand up to his face and pulled him down so he could taste his own cock and I could taste my own pussy.
Our lips played off of each other while he fucked me into the desk. At that moment, it felt like we both held the power equally. We weren't in a struggle. We were real about what we wanted and how we were getting it. We were in sync.
The main reason I took advantage of our timing was that there was a cookout out back when I made my way to the office. I didn't mind if people heard us but I figured our first time should be more intimate. That was as intimate as it got for me.
After we parted ways as amicably as we could I showered perhaps the best sex I had in a long time away, then wandered out to join everyone else.
"Where have you been?" Clarke asked. She tucked some of my hair behind my ear in a motherly way even though I was older than her.
Octavia snorted. "Look at the smile on her face. Where do you think she's been?" She teased while she fixed a plate of food.
Clarke tried to hold in her grin but I could tell she was beaming on the inside now that she thought Murphy and I made up.
If that was how we were going to "make up" every time we fought, we should fight more often. My pussy ached but I already couldn't wait to get him back inside of me.
I plated some of the cake. The frosting got on my finger so I slid it into my mouth. When I turned around Murphy was coming down the stairs in his signature black shirt and jeans that he worked so well.
He stared right at me when I pulled my finger from my mouth. The look in his eyes told me we should've waited for round two.
But the air still wasn't cleared between us per say so we spent the rest of the evening dancing around each other until he broke the dance by coming up next to me when I got my second round of cake.
His cologne made my mouth water. Hell, his closeness just did all kinds of things to me.
"Is it wrong that I want to fuck you on this table with everyone watching?"
My eyes dropped to the table. I could tell he wasn't into that, so I knew he only said it for my benefit. I scooped some of the frosting up and pretended like I was going to give him a show but I smeared it on his face with a cheeky grin.
He stood stock still with a grim look on his face before he turned his gaze on me.
I couldn't help the laughter, but I recognized the predatory gleam in his eyes and ran.
He chased me around the table with a sliver of a smile. "You're dead meat, Reyes."
"You've got to catch me first." I teased as I dipped and dodged through people in adrenaline induced fear. "Octavia," I ran for her help.
"She can't help you," He threatened when I hid behind her.
Octavia laughed while she held her arms out protectively.
He dipped under them and grabbed my arm.
I screamed in fake horror, my heart raced as he caught me up in his warm arms.
His laughter rang in my ears long after it faded as did our fun.
Later that night after tossing and turning a knock on my door caught my attention. My hands ruffled through my wavy hair before I answered because it could only be one person.
Murphy stood on the other side. He took in my PJs and smiled to himself. "Let's go for a ride,"
I didn't bother changing out of my cotton shorts and a tank top, I just grabbed a light jacket, then we made our way to his motorcycle. "Wait, I was going to surprise you in the morning but your Dad's car is done."
He stared into the air.
"If you don't want to like share that with me it's fine." I tried to dismiss it like it was nothing.
"No," He looked down. "It's not that. I just-I haven't had anyone in it since he died." His eyes met mine with his heart more exposed than I deserved. "I'll get the keys,"
I stared at him in awe.
Where was his forgiving nature coming from? Not that I didn't want it so we could move past the ugly truth of our situation that was bound to come out eventually but he seemed so adamant about not letting me in emotionally before. So what changed?
We slid into the vintage leather seats.
He started the car without a hitch.
We sat there for a bit in silence while he worked through whatever he had to mentally.
I wanted to ask more about his Dad but it didn't feel appropriate. All he had told me the other night was that they hadn't gotten along toward the end of his life and the mantel was passed down when he didn't feel ready to shoulder the responsibility. Nor did he want it. But I would bet this car that he didn't remember saying that to me and it wasn't my place to remind him of it.
"We don't have to," I assured him.
My voice jarred him to the present. His gaze fell on me before he shook his head and backed out of the garage.
We ended up at a twenty-four hour diner a ways down the road at like two in the morning, which meant it was dotted with truckers and other riff-raff.
"I thought you were going to whack me," I admitted once we slid into a booth.
He laughed, then leaned forward on his elbows. "I thought I told you killing you was never an option," He said low enough for only my ears. "Hungry?"
I shrugged. "I could eat."
Our server, Doris, walked up to our table. "How's it going?" She was a bit on the heavier side with an aging face and red hair.
"Not too bad. How about you?" I asked.
She looked a bit surprised I asked and seemed genuinely interested. "The night's dragging, kid."
I suppressed a yawn because they're contagious. So I said, "We'll have two burgers with fries."
She seemed impressed that she didn't have to goad an order of out of us. "I'll be back when they're ready." She went off to bus her tables.
When I turned to Murphy he watched me carefully but there wasn't the same animosity behind his eyes that he started the day out with.
"Should I have not ordered for you?" I asked with a bit of a blush.
His head shook. "No, I don't mind it actually."
Cool.
I grew a little nervous under his constant gaze. There was no frame of reference of what he wanted to talk about or what was about to come out of his mouth.
"I know you didn't bring me here so we could awkwardly stare at each other without saying what we really want to say so," I leaned forward. "What's with the impromptu outing?"
His mouth hitched up in amusement. "I couldn't sleep."
"Me either."
We gazed at each other.
He started to say something but cut himself off.
"Just say it, Murphy."
He stayed apprehensive while he watched me.
I turned red. "You wanted to strangle me earlier and now you can't say what's on your mind?"
"If I recall, I did strangle you earlier and you liked it." His eyes dipped to my mouth.
Doris placed two glasses of water down on the table and made a noise of approval in the back of her throat before she walked away.
Great. Now our waitress thought we were sex maniacs.
"Thanks for that," I shot him a look.
He snorted a laugh, then he finally got out what he wanted to say. "Raven, these past few weeks with you have been utterly insane and I have a feeling it's just the tip of the iceberg."
What was he getting at?
My throat felt dry. I sipped my water.
"If we're going to do this then there needs to be complete transparency."
I almost choked on my water.
"You can't lie to me anymore." His blue eyes bore into mine heavily. "You can't keep secrets."
I held a hand up. "What are you saying? That you want to give this a try?" I didn't want to get my hopes up only to crash into the ground and break every bone in my body.
He looked out at the few passing cars and trucks on the road. "I don't know if I can trust you. I don't know if you're going to screw me and all of us over. I just know that I can't help how I feel around you," He met my eyes. "And that I don't want this to be emotional. I can't give you that right now. You have to earn it."
My head felt heavy as I nodded. "I understand." And I did. I hurt him in one of the worst ways possible. By not meaning to.
"Are you okay with that? Only being physical?" He posed.
No, but it was all he was offering. For the first time, I wasn't thinking of running. I was thinking of staying in this booth with him until he could trust me again and I was prepared to wait.
I bit the corner of my mouth. "I'm a big girl, Murphy."
We knew that we were both full of shit. Neither of us was going into this only expecting a physical relationship. It couldn't only be physical, not when there were already feelings there. But he needed that barrier between us and I could deal with that until I earned some of his trust back.
"Do you think if Lexa found out she'd try to hurt you?"
My head shook. "She's my sister."
"Half sister." He corrected.
I gaped. "Still. She won't hurt me, but she may try to hurt you. Or Octavia." I hated that I was lumped together with the villain of this story or that my sister was even a villain to begin with. When it came down to it, Murphy was supposed to be the villain in my story. He was supposed to be the antagonist that kept me from living what I thought to be a happy, fulfilled life with the Nightbloods. Now I knew there was more to life than just coasting. As terrifying as it was all the time, with Murphy I felt like I was going eighty in a twenty-five.
His eyes narrowed in protectiveness over his family. "I need you to know that if it comes down to protecting my family or you with Lexa, I'm going to choose my family."
I nodded in understanding. "I wouldn't expect anything less." I sighed at our frank conversation. "I need you to know that if it comes down to you having to choose between me or your family then I won't stick around to make you choose."
MURPHY'S POV:
"I need you to know that if it comes down to you having to choose between me or your family then I won't stick around to make you choose." She said.
The sad part was that I had already chosen between her and my family and I'd chosen to protect her. As terrifying as she was for my future I couldn't picture my life without her in it anymore. What had I'd been doing before? Barely existing. Going through the motions. Not challenging myself. Even though there was no longer trust between us she jolted me awake the moment she stepped into our Clubhouse.
Our food came shortly after. I could feel myself getting emotional just from talking with her. She felt it too. It was all over her. I'd do something cheesy like steal some of her fries and she'd steal some of mine. As juvenile as it was, I did it to see the smile on her face. It almost made up for everything that had gone wrong between us. Almost.
The almost scared me into reeling in my emotions. It was very robotic, but I had to do. Even though it killed me to see the light die in her eyes when she noticed the switch in me. It had to be this way. For now. I wouldn't have suggested our arrangement if I didn't think it could work. Besides, she kind of already crossed the bridge for us to get here.
Our little fuck session from earlier played in my mind and I couldn't help but get hard at the memory of being inside of her. Hearing her moan for me had been the best thing my ears had ever heard. My eyes trailed down her soft looking neck, to her hard nipples in her shirt. You could blame it on the AC but I had no doubt she was reminiscing also.
We stared at each other, waiting for the other to break.
"Dessert?" Doris asked.
My brow arched.
Hers did too.
I bit back my laughter and asked for the check. I made sure to leave a nice tip. "Ready?" My eyes slid to hers.
She had that same lust filled daze in her eyes.
We headed for the door. My hand went to her back in case anyone doubted we were here together and we were leaving together.
I was horny enough that I didn't want to wait to get back to our rooms but she was the one that pulled me off to the side of the building.
Her mouth attacked mine.
I pushed her into the brick building while my hands wrapped her legs around my waist, my hips ground into hers.
She moaned into the kiss. Her arms hung around my shoulders while her hips worked against me. "Fucking put it in me."
My eyes shot open to look at her in disbelief. "Here?" Where an employee could walk out of that back door or a customer could wonder to their car and see us under the clearly lit area. I had only been teasing her earlier about fucking her on the table in front everyone.
"Are you afraid, Murphy?" She challenged. "If you're not man enough, I get it." She goaded, knowing I would do exactly what she wanted.
It took nothing to pull my dick out of my sweatpants, shove her little cotton shorts aside, and push into her.
We gasped in each other's air.
I reeled back and thrust into her hard. "Fuck,"
She bit her lip. "God, your cock is so good."
Like that wasn't what every man wanted to hear to take them into overdrive.
My hips slammed into her hard over and over again.
Her hands played in my hair. "Yeah, fuck me just like that." She moaned.
Oh, God. I could feel that I was going to cum soon. I blamed her tight little pussy.
"Faster. Ahhh yeah." She looked me deep in my eyes. "I want you to cum in me, Murphy." She clenched her walls tight. "You like my pussy, don't you?"
I groaned. "God, yes." I wanted to choke her but she'd fall if I did that. So I fucked her faster like she asked knowing her back was going to be scuffed up tomorrow.
The back door opened around the back. A few of the workers talked amongst themselves.
I stopped.
She shook her head. Her hands gripped my hair hard. "Don't stop." She whispered. "I want your cum."
I could cum just hearing her say it. I wasn't much of a voyeur but I could tell it got her off like a million other kinky things so I continued to fuck her. The more I pounded her the hotter it became with a potential audience and I could see why it turned her on.
Her little whimpers made it all the more dangerous because they could probably hear them.
"Fuck, I'm close," I told her.
"Yes, just like that." She moaned a bit louder.
"Did you hear that?" One of the workers said.
Shit. I was too close to stop.
I stared into her eyes.
She held a heady seduction in hers. "Fucking cum in me." She started to slip over the edge herself. "Yes!"
My hips shoved into her hard as my cock covered her walls with my cum. "Fuck!" I couldn't help the loud groan I gave and I was a little ashamed to admit it felt ten times better knowing at that point we definitely had an audience.
Her head was against the wall in ecstasy while I stayed inside her to ride out hands down one of the best orgasms of my life.
I felt our combined cum dripping down my cock.
This woman was going to get me in trouble.
I let her slide to her feet.
We stared at each other in mischief before we dashed for the car to escape the crime of very public sex.
The car wasn't big enough for our Bonnie and Clyde alter egos.
I turned the radio on my favorite rock station with the diner behind us.
She climbed out of the window and flashed the truck that rode past us. Her hollers of excitement filled the air.
"You're crazy," I pulled on her leg to get her to come back inside. "If I can't kiss other girls you can't show the world your boobs. Deal?" I said with a small laugh.
"Deal," She turned up the Marilyn Manson song. Her hand rubbed circles into my chest.
Goddamn, she had a sexual appetite that I was a bit afraid that I couldn't keep up with. But I could damn sure try.
A/N: Ummm, too much sex? A good amount? Not enough? Do yall just want them fucking every other sentence? XD Just kidding. I made this chapter a bit longer to tide you over so I could update If We Don't Leave This Town. I also wrote a new Choni fic that I think I'm going to continue. I also have a Murven one-shot I want to write.
