With each impending tick of the clock, the knots continued to grow. Sure, alcohol could clear it away with a wave of fire, but Kenny deserved his unhindered ears.
Mash could barely pay attention to Mr. Elroys dulcet tones about some equation or another. The slowly tocking hands inched closer and closer to what Stan perceived as his doom.
As soon as the bell dung, Stan hurried out and towards the gym.
His stomach was full of contorting snakes, he wouldn't be able to eat anything any time soon.
Standing nervously by the door, he watched a lot of people leave swiftly, chatting excitedly about something or other.
Blue eyes sought out the dirty blond hair, bouncing on his feet nervously. He didn't see it until nearly everyone was in the cafeteria.
Kenny walked up to Stan, shoulders up as if he was trying to burrow his way into his jacket. "Hey Stan, didn't think you'd show," he commented nervously.
"Of course I would. I want to hang with you again," Marsh stated in false bravado. "I wouldn't screw this up for anything."
Nodding, the small male tugged Stan into the gymnasium. "It's more private," he explained when Stan made a noise.
Both bags hit the laminated wood as Kenny ran his fingers through his hair pacing, the noirette watching and waiting. He wouldn't press Kenny, unless time was running out.
"Okay, well," he sighed heavily. "I guess first thing is that, well, I care for you. I really do, but you're constantly up Kyles ass. Like, really, any further and you two would merge. And then I would find out that you guys would go on adventures and say like 'oh all my friends are here' yet I'm not there. And this went on for years," his pacing increased as he bit his lip.
"I would get left behind, expected to follow along, get asked to do the stupidest jobs because I'm the poor kid who just wants a buck," he whirled, fire in his eyes and pointed. "Cartman said that a lot."
All the noirette did was hold up his hands, unable to say a word with how hard his chest ached.
"I'm tired of it. I'm a person too. I have feelings," it was getting hard to understand the blond through the onslaught of tears that he was fighting back. "I'm valid Stan, but you guys made me feel worthless. Replaceable. I'm not."
What could he say to that? There were no words that came to mind and seeing how broken they made Kenny feel was the most soul crushing feeling this teenager felt.
It was worse than any break up he and Wendy went through. More than when he fought with Kyle.
They made Kenny feel worthless.
"It's no wonder you don't want to hang with us…" Stan finally spoke after a long pause, he didn't even feel the tears that had started to fall during Kennys' speech. "I wouldn't want to be around that either."
They continued to stay there for a while, Stan staring at Kennys scuffed shoes.
"I can't promise anything Ken…but thank you for telling me," Stan barely managed to get out through a swollen throat.
Kenny nodded some, unable to say anything. Instead, he picked up his backpack and headed out of the gym. If there was a way to fix this, he didn't know.
With the click of the door, Stan collapsed and covered his mouth.
How? How could he do that to his friend? One of his closest friends?!
Grabbing his bag, he ran to the bathroom and started throwing up. While it burned, he kept heaving the nothingness that was his stomach.
Damn he was going to need a drink after this.
And he did.
The flask in his backpack quickly downed after his sick was in the toilet. And he leaned against the lockers, not about to move any time soon.
And he didn't care who saw him like this. He was trash and would always be trash and wanted the town to know that too.
