Her hands were still shaking when she returned to the dorm, the walk back from the coach having done nothing to clear her head. The wind was crisp and biting, and she shivered in her yellow sundress, her anger doing nothing to warm her bones.

She never would have done this. The old Galinda never would have done this. She was changing, and she knew it.

The thought made her shiver. She hurried her way into the dormitory, replaying the scenes from the afternoon over and over, the confrontation with the Cat, with her friends. She fumbled with the lock to her dorm room, so caught up in her thoughts she didn't even notice Elphaba until it was too late.

The sight of Elphaba caused Galinda's anger to flare again. She'd stood up for Elphaba, she'd sacrificed her own social standing for her, and Elphaba apparently wanted nothing to do with her.

"What?" Galinda snapped as her roommate's head turned, crossing to her own bed and pulling an old cardigan out from under it.

"Is everything all right?" Elphaba asked. She was sitting on her own bed, knees drawn up to her chest like they usually were, her dark eyes fixed on Galinda.

"Everything's fine," Galinda said. "Why wouldn't it be fine?"

"Because," Elphaba said, remarkably calm, "all of your perfumes are levitating."

Galinda turned her head and indeed, they were. She forced herself to breathe, to concentrate on bringing the bottles down gently until they rested safely on her vanity.

"I'm fine," Galinda said once she'd let out a breath. "Not like you care, anyway."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Elphaba asked.

Galinda laughed, and it sounded remarkably like her friends' derisive, fake laughter from earlier. She hated herself for it a little. "It means that we're never going to talk about what happened, are we?"

Elphaba's brow furrowed. "I don't know what you mean."

"Don't play dumb!" Galinda shrieked, and turned to face the green girl head on for the first time since she'd entered the room. "You kissed me!"

She couldn't believe the words had left her mouth. They hung in the air like the remnants of a spell, a magic not so easily contained. She took a breath and continued, "And ever since then you've been cold and distant and secretive—"

"I'm always cold and distant and secretive."

"Not like this. Not to me," Galinda said, and the pain in her voice was almost too much for Elphaba to take. "Elphaba, I…"

But she couldn't find the words, and she was left staring at the taller girl. She wanted to stand, to close the space between them as she had before, wanted to press her lips to Elphaba's own. But she couldn't bring herself to if all she was going to face was rejection.

Galinda wanted a drink. A drink would make her head fuzzy, make this conversation easier, make it easier to forget about what had happened with her friends today. "You don't care, do you?" she said finally. "You don't care about my feelings at all. You mustn't, since you don't want to acknowledge it."

"Galinda…" This time, Elphaba was looking down at the floor.

"I stood up for you!" Galinda said, standing and beginning to pace, if only to give herself something to do. "Today. I went out with my friends and they were being awful and calling you names and I stood up for you when you don't even deserve it. I've lost everything because of you! You know no one will talk to me much now, right? Or they won't after word gets out that I prefer your company to Pfannee and Shenshen and them." She wasn't stopping to think about what she said. She just barreled on. "Because it's true—I do prefer you. You make me think, as awful as that can be sometimes, you actually make me care about—about Animals, and all these things I didn't before! But you don't care about me." She could barely choke out the last two words.

This time, Elphaba laughed. "That's what you think? That I don't care?"

"No. You don't," Galinda said coldly. She sat down on her own bed again, the two girls staring at each other from across the room, the gulf between them widening. "You don't care about anything." About me, she thought, but she didn't add it.

This time Elphaba looked away from her sharply. "That's not true." She stood, wringing her hands. "But it's… it's safer this way."

"Safer for who?" Galinda asked, and then she was standing, staring at the green girl's back. She could see the worried movements of her hands

Elphaba turned. "You. If I… You don't know what I'm involved with, Galinda. And if… if you did, and they knew—they'd come after you, too. And I can't…" She sighed.

"The research you're doing with Doctor Dillamond?" Galinda asked after a moment. Elphaba looked at her. "I'm not dumb, Elphaba. You've been disappearing, staying out later and later—even before we…"

"It's more than that," Elphaba said. "I can't tell you."

"Why?" Galinda said.

"Because they'd hurt you. And I can't… I can't lose you."

Her voice was soft, almost a whisper. Galinda blinked, sure she'd imagined the last two words.

"I can't lose you," Elphaba repeated, firmer, and looked into the smaller girl's eyes. "But I can't be with you either, Galinda, because if they knew about us, if they found out, it'd be one more thing they could use against us."

Galinda's head swam. The way Elphaba talked, the way she mentioned losing her… She had to have feelings for her. She had to.

She stood, approaching her. Elphaba flinched, but didn't move back. So Galinda took another step forward.

And another.

And another.

She was so close to her now. And she wanted, oh, she wanted to reach out and kiss her, hold her. She knew if she did then the aching feeling in her chest would go away.

"Don't you want to be with me?" Galinda said softly, her hands reaching out and taking Elphaba's.

Elphaba turned her head away. "That's not a fair question and you know it. Of course I do."

"Then be with me," Galinda said. "Please, Elphaba…"

Elphaba bit her lip. And for a second Galinda thought, surely, surely now will be the moment she kisses me back.

But she turned her head away. "I can't," she said, and her voice was muffled and choked and her shoulders were shaking in that way they did when Elphaba was desperately trying to steel herself from crying. "I wish I could, but it's just… it's just not safe."

"Safe for me, or you?" Galinda said, stepping back, hurt like a dull knife in her chest.

"For both of us, Galinda, please—can't you see—you have to understand what they'd do—"

"No, I don't, because you won't tell me," Galinda said.

But something flickered in her mind. A memory, an early one, from when she'd first arrived at Shiz, when she'd first been assigned Elphaba as her roommate. A conversation she'd had with Morrible when she'd tried desperately to change her room assignment.

"I suppose if Miss Elphaba cannot live with what we give her…"

"It's Morrible, isn't it?" Galinda said, and Elphaba looked at her sharply. "She… she's got it out for you, or something."

Elphaba's face was blank, a carefully controlled mask. "No."

"You're lying to me."

"Because you're right," Elphaba said through clenched teeth, and she looked around, almost as if she were afraid someone would hear them. "I can't talk about it."

"Why not?" Galinda challenged, stepping up to the taller girl, her hands on her hips. "You say it's safer for me not to know, but if I've guessed already…"

"Forget it," Elphaba said, trying to push past Galinda. "Just forget it, all right?"

"Where are you going?"

"It doesn't matter," Elphaba said. "I just… I can't be with you right now."

Galinda stepped back, stunned.

"Elphaba…"

Her hand hovered above the green girl's arm, but Elphaba shook her head. "Please, don't," she said, her voice thick, and she left the room before Galinda had time to react.