Her heart was racing, the tears on her cheeks burning hot.

She had to talk to someone, had to go see Dillamond. He'd know what to do, he'd tell her if it was safe or not for her to be with Galinda. Because she desperately, desperately wanted to be with her. She wanted nothing more than to hold her, to kiss her again.

But it wouldn't be fair to Galinda if they had to keep it secret. And Elphaba suspected Morrible knew more than she let on, suspected she had spells and eyes and ears all over campus. It wouldn't take her long to discover the blonde and Elphaba's relationship, and when she did…

Though perhaps she already had some idea.

What Morrible had said to Galinda ran over and over in Elphaba's mind. How even from the start she'd had it out for her. How she tried to recruit Galinda into that, back when Galinda and Elphaba disliked (probably hated) each other. And Elphaba knew with a shivering certainty that if Morrible ever found out about their feelings for each other, that would be the end of it. She'd find a way to twist and turn them against each other, using them for…

For what? Elphaba still didn't understand her motives. She knew she was dangerous. She knew she didn't like her. Knew that Morrible had an awful bias towards her, knew she was working with the Wizard.

But to what end? And how, why, was a powerful Headmistress threatened by two teenage girls?

This was too much. She needed to talk, needed to sort and process her thoughts, because right now they were threatening to overwhelm her.

She crossed the lawn to Doctor Dillamond's office, cloak pulled tight across her shoulders so she blended in with the night. He would know what to do, what to say. He would tell her how to feel and maybe all of this would start to make sense.

There was a light still on in his office, thank Lurline. Elphaba shivered as she touched the cold knob of the door.

Something felt off. The air felt charged, tense—magic.

A sense of dread grew in her stomach.

No. No no no no no no—

She pushed open the door.

Nothing was amiss. The Goat was sitting at his desk, glasses falling down his snout, squinting down at some papers. He looked up at Elphaba's entrance.

"Elphaba? What are you doing here?"

She put a hand to her racing heart, tried to calm herself down.

"I… I got this feeling, I thought something—I need to talk to you," she said, stepping into the classroom fully and shutting the door behind her.

She was being paranoid. Galinda's words had her thinking Morrible was around every corner, that there was something lurking for her behind every shadow. Doctor Dillamond was fine. He was alive, and he was in front of her, and he was fine.

The Goat stood, polished his glasses on his jacket. He didn't lecture her about the hour, or how he'd just seen her moments before. Instead, he put the kettle on, one lit by an anbaric contraption she'd never seen before coming to Shiz, heating water without the use of a stove.

"I know you can't, so forgive me. Late-night conversations like these always involve tea for me," he said, throwing her an apologetic glance. She shrugged and settled herself on a chair, pulling her cloak tighter around herself for some sense of stability. Elphaba watched as he went through the ritual of putting the kettle on, of placing two lumps of sugar in the bottom of a mug, filling it with loose tea leaves— "From Quadling Country, did you know, they have great knowledge of herbal remedies," he said to her—and pouring the boiling water in, stirring it with a small bent spoon. She felt the same sense of calm she did when she put her oils on, the precision and care with which he made his tea was much the same. Soothing.

When he finally sat down and faced her again, Elphaba felt remarkably calmer, no sense of urgency thrumming through her like before.

"What did you want to discuss, my dear?" he said, looking down at her.

She shifted. "It's… Galinda," she said finally, daring to use the girl's name. "I… She told me something this evening and it's been troubling me, so I thought I'd come to you. Something about Morrible."

And she told him of what Galinda had said, of Morrible's if Elphaba cannot live with what we give her. Doctor Dillamond frowned at this and set his mug down, regarding her with a woeful stare.

"I don't know what to do," Elphaba finished. She clenched her fists in her lap. "I… Oz, I might love her. And if Morrible ever found that out, she'd…" She let her voice trail off, not daring to finish that sentence. "It's not safe," she finally said after a minute, and looked him in the eyes. "I know it's not safe, but I want it." She sounded like a pleading child, something she'd never sounded like in her seventeen years. Yet here she was, Elphaba Thropp, pleading. Wanting.

The Goat looked at her. "I am not well-versed on the matters of love, Elphaba," he said finally. "But I do know danger. And I know Morrible. And she will stop at nothing to dismantle you, including using Miss Galinda. And make no mistake, she will use her regardless of her feelings for you, as it seems she is already trying to."

"But if I—if I love her, won't that make it worse?" Elphaba asked. "For her. For us. If Morrible found out…"

Doctor Dillamond sighed, stood, and began to straighten his desk.

"Miss Thropp," he said, and the sense of formality made her shiver. "You are bright, and young, and capable. She will use anything she has against you. But as I told you this morning, I truly do not think you can do this alone."

"I'm not alone, I have you," she said. "I'm helping you with your research."

Something painful crossed along the Goat's face, an emotion Elphaba could not decipher.

"This will be bigger than the two of us," he said, so softly she almost didn't hear him. He opened his mouth to say more, but a sharp crack! cut through the air, and Elphaba startled.

Doctor Dillamond dropped his mug, and the shattering of ceramic seemed to spur him into action.

"You cannot be here," he said, and she stood. He pressed his hooves into her back, ushering her towards the door.

"Sir, I—"

"Go," he bleated. "She cannot find you here, not with me. Not now. Elphaba, remember what I said."

"Doctor Dillamond—"

He wasted no more words on her, and she soon found herself standing outside his office, stunned.

She cannot find you here.

The words resounded in her head and she pushed open the door to the outside, immediately flattening herself against the wall.

Something was wrong. Someone was moving across the lawn as if they didn't want to be seen, silent and creeping. Elphaba felt her senses betraying her, clouding her, and she hurried on through the stone archway, taking care to step lightly so no one would hear her.

Her pulse was racing. She thought she heard something whirring behind her so she pressed on, further, towards the garden she knew would lead her to the kitchen and then back safely to her dorm.

If she could just make it, if she could just reach Galinda without being caught, then she would apologize for every stupid thing she'd ever said, every cruel comment and gesture and rejection, and she would simply kiss her, press her lips against hers and forget the world if only for a split second. In the distance, she thought she heard a cry, a noise, and she pressed forward to her dorm room. She made sure to make no noise when she opened the door.

The lights were off. Galinda's form was curled up with her back to her, her shoulders rising and falling with each breath.

And Elphaba looked at her, thinking of all the things she'd said, the memory of Galinda kissing her and Dillamond's words echoing in her head, and she felt more alone than ever.

A/N: Reviews and favorites are always appreciated 3