Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters.

Word Count: 1574


Challenge: Are you Crazy Enough To Do It Challenge

Prompt: 675. (object) Recliner


Bold - Hermione Granger

Italics - Daphne Greengrass


Granger, your ex has been glaring at me all evening, and unfortunately a certain beautiful bookworm here has forbidden me from doing anything back to him with the threat of sex withdrawal.

It's good to see you're sticking to your promise.

Of course I will, Granger. You threatened me with sex.

That always works with you.

Yeah, it works just as well as cuddling works with you.

...

Gnome got your tongue, Granger?

I'll see what to do about Ron.

Thanks, love.


Daph! Why didn't you tell me you went out and bought another gift for Harry?! I thought we were giving him the book together. When and why did you go out and buy him a pair of 'Hungarian Horntail Dragonscale Quidditch Boots'?

Relax, love. I am giving him that birthday gift together with you. I-

Then why did you buy the boots?!

Will you let me talk, woman?

Alright, go on then. The stage is all yours.

Ugh… I bought them not as a birthday gift, but instead as a thank you gift… for winning the war. A few years ago, some time after I realized that I was interested in you romantically, I also came to realization that the only world where I could be with you is one where Potter would win the war. After that, on more than one occasion, I had hoped and prayed that Potter would win the war, and he ultimately did. But last week, I realized I had never actually thanked him for that.

Oh.

Yeah, oh. Anyway, that's why I decided that I should buy him something and gift it to him on his birthday. Unfortunately, I do not know much about what he likes, other than big tits, pineapples, and Quidditch. You'd never find me with a pineapple, so it was going to be Quidditch-related. Unless… you're fine with me giving him a strip show.

FUCK NO!

Haha, that's what I thought.

Alright, I guess I can let you off the hook. But next time, we're always going to give them a gift together, as a couple.

Of course, love.

Good.


Granger, I think we should purchase a recliner.

No.

Why shouldn't we?

Because we're lazy enough as we are. If we throw a recliner in there, we'll never get to work.

But a recliner provides wonderful cuddling opportunities.

Still, no.

Okay.

That's it? You're just going to agree with me? I thought you'd put up more of a fight? Is the great Daphne Greengrass becoming complacent?

Relax Granger, this is just a temporary retreat. It'll be much easier to convince you with a finger up your snatch; and I'm sure I'll have many opportunities to do that later this evening.

And by later this evening, you mean in the comfort of our bed, back at home… right?


Daph, why aren't you answering me?


Daph! You better ans-… Did you just vanish my underwear?

It's for easy access, love. You might be realizing that it probably wasn't a good idea to wear a knee-length sundress today. Also, I've only vanished your knickers and not your bra; I don't want Weasley to stare at your chest any more than he does right now.

Ron does not stare at my chest. And did you use a consistent vanishing incantation?

Yep. Every pair of knickers that you try to conjure right now will reappear in my bedside drawer back at home. And he most certainly does stare at your chest, that is whenever he's not staring at your arse or he's not giving me a death glare. Trust me, if looks could Avada, he should be thrown in Azkaban for murdering the same person over fifty times in a night.

Hmm… I'll talk to him again about that. And the spell seems very stable; I would've considered rewarding you for doing so well… if you didn't have me standing knicker-less at Harry's birthday party! Daph, remove it right now!

Not an option love, I'm having loads of fun.

Daphne!


Alright, you've had your fun teasing me with it, now remove the charm.

Nope.

Daph! Why are you doing this to me?

Because I love you a lot.

I'm not exactly feeling this overwhelming love that you seem to think you're showing me.

Well then don't hit me when I get closer to you next time, and I'll show you exactly how much I love you.

Fuck off!

Such animosity.


Why do you love recliners so much? You've never even used a recliner before, yet you're trying so hard to buy one.

Recliners… oh, you thought this was about the recliner, of course not love. As you would know, that spell takes a while to master; so this was a plan in the works for quite a while now. The recliner just gave me a good opportunity to set the plan in motion. We don't have to buy a recliner if you don't want to; I'm more interested in watching you squirm in that dress.


Daph, please remove it. They're planning to go outside right now, and I can't hold this skirt down constantly without letting people know exactly what is going on beneath it.

Then let go love.

What?

Let go.

Did you just tell me to display my genitals to almost all of my friends?

No, I told you to let go of your hands from your skirt.

How is that any different?

Trust me, love.

Alright.

Really? I'd have thought you-

Yeah, logically I know I should hex you for even suggesting something like that, but I do trust you. Unless it had been either you or Harry, I probably don't think I would agree to it. If it had been something related to the war, then I'd add Ron to that list, but the twins have had quite the negative influence on most of the Weasley clan when it comes to pranking.

Wow… Thank you.

An anti-wind charm?

Better – an anti-wardrobe malfunction charm; the skirt will tuck itself in to hide your private parts when you're sitting in the couch or whatever. It's one of the few positive things I learnt from my mother.

That's... handy. So, I've just been squirming and blushing like an idiot all evening for no apparent reason.

Not without a reason love, you've been squirming all evening because it's sexy for me to watch.

That does not qualify as a valid reason; and knock that stupid smirk off your face.

It most certainly does, especially since I've been video-taping the entire thing.

What?!

And that's my que to leave. See you at home, love.

Daphne Greengrass! Get back here this very instant!

Come and get me, love.

Ugh… why do I love you?


Love, what was that about Tori that you told me you'll tell me at a later time?

Oh that, it's nothing too much. Apparently, Parkinson tried to contact Malfoy about what he planned to do in the future. Even though she had not insinuated anything of the romantic nature with him, Astoria wasn't too happy about being contacted.

I guess that's alright.

Yeah, she didn't want to talk about these stuff with you or Draco because the two of you are or were good friends with Parkinson.

She didn't have to worry about that.

I know, but I don't think you can convince her of that; she probably realizes that you will get to know about that anyway, but she still wouldn't want to say it to your face.

I guess there's not much I can do about it.

Yeah.

Did you guys at least enjoy your time together?

Of course, we always do. Yesterday was going splendidly until you decided to pull that at the birthday party.

Hey, don't tell me you didn't enjoy the sex afterwards.

So, what if I did; you made me scared that I was going to have a wardrobe malfunction in front of people I pretty much consider family.

I was never going to let that happen.

I know that now; but in the moment, it was really stressful and embarrassing.

And really arousing, if the wetness on the inside of your thighs was anything to go by. Also, I think I took care of that stress pretty well.

I'll take that as a compliment.

You shouldn't.

But I will anyway.


Love, I will have to start home quite late tonight. Do you need me to buy anything on the way back?

Some dental floss and maybe pick up some chocolates.

Love, you parents will give you another lecture on dental hygiene.

But I'm not living with them anymore; and I'm asking dental floss as well.

You think that will help?

Of course not.

Alright, I'll get them. You want Reese's minis right?

You know me so well.

Yeah. Those are delicious little muggle treats.

Yeah, you'll probably end up finish half the bag just like last time.

Who said this time is going to be any different?

What will mom say if she heard that?

I'm not their daughter, you are.

I don't think that'll make a difference. Dad will look for any chance to find you at fault, and mom just loves you too much.

I won't tell if you don't.

Deal. Now I have more than one thing to look forward to when you come home.

Oh Merlin.

Now don't start dancing at work.

I managed to keep it to hand gestures.

Good.


A/N:

Sorry, this chapter is a little late. I had this planned earlier, but I just didn't type it out.

Hopefully the wait is worth it. Let me know what you think in a review. I really appreciate those.

EDIT: There was some issue while uploading earlier. That's why I had to reupload this. Sorry for the inconvenience.