Chapter 9: She faces her failure
Morgan was surprised to feel a hand upon her shoulder. She recoiled, eyes flinging open.
"It's okay, it's just me."
A female voice, kind and gentle, entered her ear. She glanced up to see Elphaba leaning over her, somehow having freed herself from the ropes around her wrists. Morgan closed her eyes again, a soft moan escaping from her lips.
"Here, let me help you," said Elphaba. "It'll be easier for you to breathe if you sit up."
Morgan felt arms around her. The witch wrapped around her gingerly, careful to avoid her ribcage. She helped her up, settling her into a sitting position. The black and purple appeared again, causing Morgan to wobble. Elphaba had both hands on her shoulders, steadying her.
"There, that should be better. Try to keep your head upright. That way, you won't keep choking on your own blood. Hopefully, it'll stop bleeding soon."
The door flew open, causing both girls to jump. It clanged closed in an instant, with Sayer now standing in front of them. His mask finally evaporated, and his face became overwhelmed in sorrow.
"Oh Oz, what have I done?"
Sayer kneeled on the floor next to Morgan, unable to look away from her. He reached down to his waist, removing the knife from his belt. Elphaba's face hardened, looking like she was ready to fight him, when he reached around Morgan and cut the bindings on her wrists. She stretched out her arms, wiggling her fingers, the feeling finally coming back to them. Sayer produced a cloth from his back pocket.
"This is my fault. This is all my fault. "
Sayer held out his hand, and carefully started wiping the blood from Morgan's face. He worked slowly, barely touching her, trying not to aggravate the bruises underneath, the bruises that were caused by his fists. Elphaba stared at him, confused as to why a Gale Force soldier would be helping the prisoner he just beat. She watched quietly as Sayer cleaned off the blood from under Morgan's nose and neck. When he was done, he rolled the cloth into a ball and shoved it back into his pocket.
"Oz, Morgan, I'm so sorry. I didn't want to. I didn't mean for any of this to happen. I didn't have a choice. If I would have refused, someone else would have done it, and who knows what they would have done to you. I didn't…" Sayer's voice caught in his throat. "I didn't want to. Please believe me that I didn't want to."
"Sayer, of course you didn't," said Morgan. "I knew what was happening."
"You know his first name?" Elphaba cut in. "Have you met?"
"Look," continued Morgan, "if you would have backed off, shown me any mercy, they would have noticed something was off. If they would've found out that we've talked and you let me go, then we both would have been punished."
"Oh, so you have met," said Elphaba. "I was wondering what was going on. Something seemed off about the way he reacted to you."
"She found me upstairs," said Sayer. "She locked me in the bathroom and tried to stab me."
"I did not," snorted Morgan. "I only threatened to stab you."
"You held that thing at my throat for a very long time."
"Only until you talked, then we were fine."
Elphaba raised an eyebrow. "So you were baiting him then, back there?"
Morgan nodded, and instantly regretted it, the motion sending more bolts of pain through her head. She crammed her eyes shut and hissed. She felt a hand wrap around hers.
"She did," Sayer answered for her. "She pretended so that it could be more convincing. She did it to help me, and honestly, I don't know why."
"Well, now that you had mentioned that if you refused, I would have got passed off to another soldier…I'm glad I did it."
"Look, I don't have much time," said Sayer, dropping his voice. "We don't know when the Wizard will get here. You're probably going to be stuck until he shows up, unless the soldiers get bored. I'll do my best to keep an eye on you two and make sure that doesn't happen. When the Wizard shows up…I don't know. I have no idea. Honestly, I don't even want to think about it. I'll do my best, okay?"
Morgan realized that it was Sayer who was holding her hand.
"Okay."
He squeezed it, and quickly left, slamming the door behind him. Elphaba was at her side again.
"Let me take a look at you," she said, a green hand now holding the back of Morgan's head. The witch was in front of her, examining her face. She bit her lip for a moment, pondering.
"There's a lot of swelling here. Has your nose always been a bit crooked?"
"Not that I've noticed."
"Then it's definitely broken," said the Witch. "Can you breathe out of it?"
Morgan inhaled through her nose and winced. "I can, but it hurts. Then again, it hurts everywhere when I breathe."
"Sadly, that's something you're going to have to deal with. If you can get air in and out, then that's the best case scenario."
"Great."
"I need to check your side," stated Elphaba. "I need to see the damage there. If it hurts you to inhale, you might have a broken rib."
Elphaba moved quickly, pulling up Morgan's shirt. She jerked back.
"What are you doing?"
"Assessing your injuries, like I said."
"How do you know what you're looking at?"
"I worked with the Resistance for years," the witch replied. "I've treated a lot of injuries, both on myself and others. I've seen many a broken bone in my time. You just have to trust me."
Morgan sighed, then agreed. "Fine."
Elphaba pulled up the side of her shirt, leaning in close to inspect the area. The skin was scraped off in a few places along her side and back, bruises turning the areas around them black and blue and green. Elphaba raised her hand, and lightly touched the area. Morgan hissed and recoiled at her touch.
"Can you not do that?"
Elphaba sat up, pulling Morgan's shirt back down. Her brow was furrowed.
"You definitely have a bruised rib, although, from my experience, it's probably a fracture. It might even be more than one, I'm not positive. All I know is that this is going to hurt for at least a month."
"Oh great, I have a broken face and a broken rib. That's just fantastic."
Elphaba leaned back, her legs folded under her.
"Your name is Morgan. Did I hear that correctly?"
"Mhmm."
"I have to ask you something," she said. "What you said out there…about how you heard what they did to me and it made you want to help…was that true?"
"Yes. All of it."
Elphaba chewed her bottom lip again. "You mean to tell me that you didn't know who I was and didn't know what I looked like, but you decided to risk your life to rescue me?"
"Again, yes."
"But…" Elphaba paused, the sadness returning to her eyes. "Why?"
"I believe I already told everyone that," said Morgan. "Or don't you believe me?"
"It's not that," replied the witch. "It's just…I'm not used to kindness of any sort, let alone the life-saving kind."
"Well, it was a nice thought and all, but it didn't do either of us any good." Morgan shivered, the cold sinking into her skin. They kept the cooler at 36 degrees, which perfectly maintained the cut flowers that now surrounded the two girls. However, it was not exactly a comfortable temperature for people.
"I'm sorry that this happened to you," said Elphaba. "Trust me when I tell you that I know exactly how you feel."
"God, it feels like someone is still hitting me. It hurts like hell."
"Can you see straight? Is your vision blurry or turning colors?"
"It was for a little while, but it's gone now. I guess I don't get the luxury of passing out."
Elphaba let out what sounded like a small laugh.
"That's good, then. Consciousness is a good thing."
Morgan now felt the cold deep in her bones. She curled up into a ball, flinching at the ache in her side, wrapping her arms around her knees. She shivered, the short sleeved tee shirt she wore not very helpful in the chill.
Elphaba noticed the girl's shivering. She quickly undid the clasp at the base of her throat, removing the cloak from her neck.
"Here," she said, draping the cloak around Morgan's shoulders. "You're freezing."
"But what about you? I don't want you to freeze helping me."
"I spent years sleeping on the ground," said Elphaba. "I think I can handle it. Plus, I actually have sleeves and you don't."
Morgan wrapped the cloak around her, covering any bits of exposed skin. She still shivered, but the chill was less abrasive.
"I'm surprised they let you keep the cloak."
"They were going to throw it out, but thought it was more fun to choke me with it."
"That…that is messed up. What assholes."
Elphaba still had not broken eye contact with her. She was watching Morgan, studying her.
"What are you even looking at?"
"I just…" Elphaba laid both hands on her lap. "I'm just trying to figure you out."
"There's not much to figure out."
"You told them that you could have escaped, but after heard them beating me, you decided to stay. You took a Gale Force soldier hostage so you could get information out of him, just so you could more easily rescue me."
"Again, it didn't do us much good."
"But you still did it. You still risked your life for a stranger."
"Is that something so hard to understand?"
Elphaba laughed again. "For most people, it is. The majority of people would rather watch a stranger suffer than do anything about it, even without risk. There aren't many who would put their lives on the line for anyone, especially those they do not know."
"But you're one of those people, aren't you?" asked Morgan. "You've spent years rescuing others, risking your life to help people."
"Someone had to. Someone had to stand up to the Wizard and his followers. Nobody else would, so I did, and they branded me a monster for it. Not that they didn't already think of me as a monster before then."
"These men are the real monsters," said Morgan. "God, the things they said, the things they say they want to do to you…" Morgan shuddered at the thought. "That's just beyond awful."
"Yes, I've heard it all," said Elphaba. "They've threatened me with every form of bodily harm they can think of."
"Why do they hate you so much?" asked Morgan. "Do they really see you as that big of a threat? I mean, they literally took you to another world just to deal with you."
Elphaba sighed, her eye contact finally breaking. Her grasped her hands together on her lap, tapping her fingers together.
"They hate me for aiding the Resistance and helping the Animals, but some of it is my own fault. I've been causing problems since I was born. I've always tried to help people, to do good, but I fail. My road of good intentions has only led to destruction." She took a deep breath. "They don't lie when they call me wicked."
"I doubt that. If you have dedicated the last few years of your life to resisting the Wizard, then I can't see you being wicked at all. That sounds more like big-heartedness, kindness, heroism over wickedness."
Elphaba laughed sardonically. "Me? Heroic? You obviously don't know me."
"I know enough. The Wizard told the Gale Force to avoid us because we wouldn't believe, because your world is fantasy to us. But if it's anything like the stories we know, then you do so much more good than you think."
Elphaba looked at her like she almost believed her. "Really?"
Morgan nodded. "Really."
Elphaba paused, her eyes locked on a space on the floor. Even in the not-so-great light of the cooler, Morgan could see that her cheeks had turned an even darker shade of green. It was as if the idea of her actually being good embarrassed her a bit. Elphaba cleared her throat, the color fading from her face.
"Anyways, I want to know more about you. I know nothing of this world or the people in it, aside from the Wizard, whom I doubt is a good example."
"Oh, you mean a person who is manipulative, arrogant, obsessed with power, but actually completely useless? Nope, that's pretty stinking accurate."
"Your people sound as bad as mine."
"They most certainly are. No matter where you go, people suck."
"I still want to know more about you, especially since you're trying to save me."
"There really isn't much to know," replied Morgan. "I'm Morgan. I'm 22. I work here so I have enough money to pay rent and eat food and occasionally do other things. My coworkers say I'm a true Cancer: I'm overly sensitive, cold, closed-off, and don't really like leaving the house. It's sounds crazy, but me doing everything I did today is very unlike me. I'm not usually a risk taker."
Elphaba chuckled. "Well, apparently you are. Did you really ambush that young soldier and hold him hostage in the bathroom?"
"…maybe."
"Well, I'm glad you didn't imbed that weapon into him. I rather like him. He's the only guard that's actually treated me like I was more than an animal. He had actually been sneaking me extra food, since his comrades believed that starving me would make me easier to deal with."
"Really?" said Morgan. "I can't see him as the rule-breaking type at all."
"Anytime the others would threaten me or beat me, he always looked sad, like he wanted to apologize," said the witch. "You know, after he came back down the stairs, they made him stand guard over me. He cleaned the blood off of my face, just like he did for you. He has a good heart. It's a shame he's part of that mess."
Morgan was astounded. Sayer was much braver than she had previously thought.
"You know, it's kind of funny that we're agreeing about his kind heart when he just beat the living shit out of me."
"Sometimes, Morgan, we have to make choices we don't want to in order to avoid making things worse. I've been there, and it's not fun. It leaves you with a lot of guilt."
"I'm not angry with him. I mean, I'm not thrilled about the situation, but I get it. He said the other men would have done much worse." The pain flooded Morgan's body every time she spoke, every time she took a breath. At the moment, she couldn't really imagine much worse.
"They probably would have," stated Elphaba. "The only reason I'm even in one piece is because the Captain willed it. He would've let Sayer beat you for hours if he had wanted to. Any other soldier would have destroyed you."
Morgan shivered at the thought.
"Yeah, no thanks. I know they can do worse. I mean, I heard—" Morgan paused for a moment. "I…I heard you screaming. That's what actually made me finally decide not to run. I…I can't imagine what they were doing…" Morgan shivered again. "I don't think I want to know."
Elphaba's expression changed. She rolled down the sleeve of her left arm, exposing the skin. Morgan was stunned to see dark marks covering her entire forearm, marring the emerald with red and purple. Morgan's eyes grew so wide that she felt like they were going to pop out of her head.
"Jesus Christ, what in the hell did they do?"
"The Gale Force learned a fun fact recently. Turns out, if you hold your knife over a flame for a while, the metal becomes blazing hot and stays that way for a while. They were very excited to see how it reacted against skin, particularly my green skin."
Morgan thought she was going to vomit. She almost dry heaved, but somehow held it back.
"Oh dear lord in heaven." Morgan felt a mixture of nausea and rage. "They really are monsters. I guess I shouldn't be complaining about my busted nose and broken rib"
As if reacting to her talking about it, a blast of pain flew through Morgan's rib cage, aggravated by her shivering from the cold. She caught the sound of pain before it came out, only a high-pitched squeak exiting. Elphaba rolled up her sleeve.
"Pain is pain, suffering is suffering. One is not more than the other."
"Yeah, but-"
"Hush. I'll be fine. This isn't the first time I've been injured, nor will it be the last. You have more than enough to deal with. Blood dries and skin heals, but we can't really set the breaks in your bones, so you'll be in pain for a long time."
"You know, you aren't exactly comforting me at the moment."
"I'm not known for falsity."
Morgan sighed, the stabbing in her side and face ebbing and flowing, occasionally shooting a bolt through her to remind her that they were there.
"Tell me this, then. Is there any chance of us getting out of this situation?"
Elphaba said nothing for a few breaths.
"Well, if the Wizard deems you not a threat, you'll be let go. Me, well, I'll probably never be free."
Morgan suddenly had a thought. "Wait…aren't you supposed to have magic? Why can't you use it? Can't you magic us out of here?"
Elphaba shook her head. "It doesn't work like that. It's very hard to control, and I just barely have a grasp on it. Plus, according to the Wizard, there is no magic in your world, so even if I could control it, it wouldn't work."
"Are you sure it won't work? Have you tried?"
"I've tried a little bit. However, the Gale Force been keeping me at a weakened state, so it's been very difficult."
"Elphaba, do you know what the Wizard is going to do with you now that you are here?" Morgan asked, not sure if she really wanted to know the answer.
"I…" Morgan saw an emotion on Elphaba's face that she hadn't seen before: fear. "I…I don't know. I mean, he could have me executed, which makes the most sense. But he really went through the trouble of coming here…honestly, I don't have a clue. I've been trying not to think about it."
Morgan felt bad for bringing it up. "I'm sorry I asked. Now I'm really mad that I got caught. I could have got both of us out of here."
"And then what, though?" asked the witch. "After we got out of this building, where would we go? The Gale Force would be on our trail in a heartbeat. They would hunt me down until the ends of the world."
"Well, lucky for you, they don't know my world like I do."
Both girls stopped. Sound was flooding into the cooler from outside. They saw flashes of faces shoot past the window, the Gale Force in a flurry of movement. It sounded like they were shouting. Elphaba was suddenly in front of Morgan, almost overtop of her, positioning herself between the injured girl and the door. It was as if she was trying to protect her.
"Someone has arrived," stated Elphaba. "And I don't think that's good news for us."
