L I A B I L I T I E S
A N D
P E D E S T A L S
Kaya had always been just somebody's obligation.
People were there for her because they thought they needed to be. Because they knew she had no one left, and they viewed her as a a mission. A broken jigsaw puzzle that they had to piece together — they were in love with the idea of fixing her that Kaya feared once she completes herself that she'll be all alone because they've already finished their goal.
So yes; Kaya was afraid of change. Of being fixed and coming undone. Maybe they were unaware that when they were trying to piece her together, she didn't really want them to? That maybe instead of mending her they were hurting her, and so much damage adorned her skin scarred with spellings of are you okay, are you alright, whywhywhy— and it just had to stop. Kaya wasn't their personal mission, she wasn't part of their fantasy and charade to fix all the broken souls. Not because they lived so close to her that they had to meddle with anything and everything. What were they even guilty for?
Kaya's not blind. She was many, many things, but it was never blind. Kaya sees their stares. The way their eyes droop and saddens when they watch her fumble around Yoake, glazed over with pity and curiosity and everything she didn't want. So maybe they saw her jaded and they felt something, whatever it was that told them they could — should — be there for her because she had no one left, right? Surely, surely, she needed someone?
And it was ridiculous that they thought it was them Kaya needed.
To them, she's not Kaya Tsumei. She's the girl with the ever (too) used past that took everything from her hold. Then nothing. She doesn't have an anchor. Because she's Kaya, that kid who got stripped of everything too soon for comfort.
Sometimes, Kaya wonders, when she laid down her covers at night, if anyone saw her efforts to hold on. If anyone saw her as.. Kaya, the girl who rebuilt herself slowly, who runs that awesome convenience store down the alleyway that's really, really entertaining and did you know she's only fifteen and has this nice shade of lilac hair and also very obnoxious? ...Do people even focus on who she is rather than what she has been through?
Probably not.
Kaya shifted the coin on her fingertips, setting it down with a clang atop the counter. Kaya lifted Yoake's cap off her head and smiled slightly, standing up from her seat and hollered, "Yoru-san, Jin-san, I'm heading off somewhere! Can one of you take counter duty?"
Jinks replied a 'Sure!' from the staff room and Kaya, already in casual clothing, made her way out the store with the Yoake cap in hand.
She had one detour to go to before going at Katsuki's Sports Festival.
- - -
The Quill's color scheme still remained the same.
The lack of change was refreshing.
Kaya took it upon herself to allow a small grin on her face as she watched Katou and Pogako laugh, outside The Quill. The coffee shop wasn't bustling with customers that time of day, and the other waiters and waitresses just hung around with the customers, joking and messing about. Pogako still hasn't returned to Yoake, but he ensured Kaya he'll be okay soon, and Kaya let out a fond sigh at that because she knew it was because of Katou-san that Pogako's phrase of 'I'm going to be okay' seemed so, so genuine than before. It was heartwarming. They both looked so... happy.
She wiped the grin off her face and entered the café, the chime ringing and heads turning. Kaya caught Pogako and Katou's gaze and eye-smiled, this time a little softer, maybe a bit sincere and true.
"Kaya-chan!"
Kaya mock saluted at Katou in response, wiggling her eyebrows in the process while not-so-subtly glancing at Pogako.
"You owe me a gazillion, Tou-san." teased Kaya.
"Oh hell, why is that nickname back now? I'm not that old!"
"Denial is sweet."
"Shut up, what's your order and go get a seat, please."
"Aw, not the magic word!"
Katou grunted and pushed Kaya beside Pogako's seat, who only curled his lips serenely at her direction, "Fine, fine. I'm just getting a regular cup of coffee. I have somewhere to go to after this, I just grabbed a drink."
Katou cocked an eyebrow, "Just grabbed a 'drink'? A coffee in this bipolar weather?"
Kaya shrugged as she handed Katou the bill, "Iced then,"
Katou accepted the bill at the right amount and turned, "Alright, I'll be back soon so don't cause too much trouble!" he hollered, disappearing towards the corner.
Kaya didn't reply and instead wondered when she ever caused such trouble.
"So, Po-san. You're getting cozy." Kaya started, her expression and tone suggestive while Pogako sputtered and flailed.
"Kaya, that's... it's— you're embarrassing."
"Honestly, what did I ever do to you people for you to offend me this way?"
Pogako gave Kaya a deadpan stare that gave away nothing but an unimpressed look, as if he couldn't quite believe she just asked him that.
"Anyway you were very obviously changing the topic, I take it things are going swimmingly?"
Pogako hung his head low and chuckled, "... Yeah."
"Why?"
"There's too much of Amira at Yoake. There's so.. much there that reminds me she's gone, you know? And here, it's, well — alright. Katou's really nice, if not infuriating at times when he's really too blunt," Pogako smiled, "I think I can get used to this... and come back soon."
"You don't need to force yourself, though, Yoru-san's plenty entertaining while Jin-san is there to keep him in line. You know Yoru-san. If he's not watched he's going to scurry off to some place somewhere. Next you know he's already cities away."
Pogako allowed himself to laugh at that, "I know. I miss those two. Though one of them is a handful, they really bright the place up."
Kaya grinned, "Yoake's not Yoake without some crazy people, of course."
"True that."
Katou emerged from the employee room carrying a regular cup of iced coffee, handing it to Kaya and she muttered a muffled 'thanks'. She stood and bid them goodbye then.
"So soon? Where are you even off to, Kaya?" Pogako questions. After all, he had missed Kaya's antics, even if it hardly has been a week they've not seen each other. She was embarrassing, yes, but he enjoyed her company nonetheless. It was like a sister's, a familial bond.
Before Kaya could respond, Katou interrupted, a knowing look on his face, "I bet you she's meeting up with the blond kid."
"Oh, the 'Katsuki-chan'?"
"Ah, quit it. Yes, It's Katsuki-chan, leave it alone. Though please annoy him when you have the chance," Kaya pushed on The Quill's door, "Good day, gentlemen, and thanks for the coffee, Tou-san!"
"I'm only twenty-five!"
- - -
When Kaya arrived, she could sense the Festival, or tournament (or whatever it was, anyways), was nearing the end. She couldn't see much, but she knew by the way the arena's parts often exploded at random that Katsuki was there. There were trails of ice and the battle was undeniably riling the audience up. Kaya, of course, could understand. Their clashing was flashy, for the lack of a better term — and Kaya swore she'd seen that peculiar combination of hair color in Yoake one time — and it occurred to her in the middle of the chaos that he was soba guy. So her assumption was true, then, he was from UA. Huh. Well, she didn't know soba guy was acquainted with Katsuki-chan.
Kaya's eyes weren't trained and highly inexperienced, and she couldn't follow their movements. Some, were a blur, colors fading from orange to yellow to white and the others from light blue to only a wisp Kaya couldn't quite put a finger on what was. The screens showed Katsuki's face sometimes, and Kaya knew in a little while that something was off. His eyebrows were scrunched too heavily, his body posture was tenser than usual, much much tenser, and Kaya didn't know if that was the effects of battling alone or something else.
She shoved her worries aside and cheered for Katsuki, albeit silently, because gods, there were so many (too many) people that Kaya felt overwhelmed. She'd yell a few encouragements here and there but she knew it probably went unheard and drowned in the flurry of other voices.
Kaya clutched the Yoake's cap she brought from her sides, because smokes, she had very little knowledge on what was happening. At least.. it looked like Katsuki was winning. But he didn't look happy. Katsuki didn't have that blinding, though cocky, grin that always made Kaya's breath hitch because it was so pure. A scowl was fixed on his face instead — and it highly unnerved Kaya more than what was necessary.
Kaya was too focused on Katsuki's expression that she failed to notice the cheers that erupted earlier. Katsuki had won.
Yet why did he look like he lost?
Kaya pursed her lips and made her way outside the stadium. She'd wait for him outside, he clearly looked like he wanted to get out of there as soon as he could, after all.
People had rushed out of the stadium long ago. Kaya didn't see Katsuki. Maybe he had already left, and wandered some place somewhere, Kaya concluded.
And she knew where that was.
Kaya ran back to Yoake, panting and sweating and huffing. Surely, the hot-headed blond was there, bended over backwards on one of Yoake's benches, settled on a dark corner.
"Katsuki-chan."
Katsuki didn't reply, he didn't look up nor did he give any indications that he had heard Kaya. Kaya sighed and sat down beside him, knocking their shoulders together.
"Wow, who's being emo now?"
"Shut the fuck up, woman," Katsuki grit out, his voice breaking only slightly. There was a guttural sound that Kaya couldn't recognize. A gasp erupted from her lips when the blond lifted his head and his eyes had been.. prickling in tears. Smokes, what was with tears and them these days? Kaya didn't know what she should do — boys always complain how they couldn't do anything with comforting a crying girl but have you ever tried to comfort a boy, one who's this overzealous, nonetheless?
"You're not.. okay, Katsuki-chan."
"The hell not," he grunted, glassy tears cascading on his face, "Damned halfie held back on me, you know that? Probably thought I wasn't strong enough, wasn't fucking worth it when all I've ever done was to prove that I was worth something!"
Kaya bit her lip and heaved a sigh, Katsuki was hard to watch like this. He'd always been a fiery soul, a figure of strength Kaya compared herself to. She wanted to be as.. headstrong as Katsuki was. It looked like nothing could bring him down, like he was always, always built so meticulously that he couldn't ever crumble.
But maybe he could.
And maybe that makes both of them human.
"You're worth more than most people, Katsuki-chan. Heck, you're worth more than me... you're not a coward. You're not weak because you're my pillar," Kaya paused, "My pillar of strength. Unlike me you actually did something to prove yourself. And I know you will. Mope around all you want, but I thought you were Katsuki Bakugou, the one who's gonna be the number one hero, huh?"
"Hell yeah I'm that, what the fuck do you even mean," Katsuki all but snarled, though it lacked venom.
Kaya cackled and put Yoake's cap over Katsuki's head, "C'mon, future number one hero needs his food."
Katsuki didn't complain about the cap, or when Kaya left him for a bit outside to get some ramen, not when she placed the steaming cup in front of him as Katsuki began to eat it, the smallest hint of softening features around his face visible.
"Oi, Kaya," Katsuki paused, "You're.. worth it too, woman."
"You're worth more than most people, Katsuki-chan. Heck, you're worth more than me."
Ah.
Kaya didn't really think she was, though if he said so, then she'll leave it be. Katsuki was, after all, wasn't here beside her because he just needed to be. This time, Kaya was the one who was needed.
To him, she wasn't just a responsibility, and it made Kaya feel all the best feelings.
"What are you talking about, Katsuki-chan?" Kaya smiled, out of relief, out of happiness — she didn't know, "Of course I am."
To him, she was Kaya Tsumei. And to her, he was Bakugou Katsuki; and that was enough.
———
to TORA3's review, yes, it's the sports festival! but nothing really happened much around it, as i have said that i wouldn't focus highly on the action stuff.
to DREAMSOFTHEDAMN's, review, i agree. missa would be terrified, ofc. but kaya couldn't just direct little meiko back to her mother. also spoiler or a hintie/ you guys would see kaya's mother veeeery horrified soon.
thank you all for reviewing, favoriting and following! love you all jjshsjfjsjdhs 3
