"So you haven't heard from Rebecca at all?" White Josh asked Nathaniel as they sat at the counter of the chic-for-West-Covina Ivywood Rustique restaurant. They both had a whiskey on the rocks, though Nathaniel was swirling his glass around more than actually drinking it.
"No, the last thing I heard from her was this text." He showed White Josh his phone with the text:
Are you home? Can I come over? I want to talk.
"She never came over, and she's avoiding my calls and texts. At the office, she's barely spoken to me, and for some reason she's wearing turtlenecks now?" He shook his head, "I don't know what's going on. I must have freaked her out by asking her to move in with me."
"I must say, before this whole debacle, Rebecca has been surprisingly not dysfunctional with you. I thought for awhile you kids might actually make it."
"You say that like it's a compliment but it's really just a thinly-veiled insult."
White Josh shrugged and took a sip of his drink, "It's the closest thing you're going to get to a compliment from me about Rebecca. To be honest, I'm pretty shocked that she would react this way. With Josh, she was practically shoving him down the aisle."
"Maybe I've been misreading her this whole time, seeing things that aren't there. Maybe I'll never be the "man of her dreams" like Josh was. I'm such an idiot." He hung his head. Even though he knew she needed to take the relationship slowly, it didn't change that it hurt to remember how head-over-heels she was with Josh. She used to tell anyone who would listen the virtues of her dream man. Now he was offering her more commitment, something he used to think all women wanted, and she would barely give him the time of day.
White Josh patted his back, barely feigning sympathy, "Tough break, man. Like I've said before, there are other fish in the sea. Less crazy fish."
"I don't want any other fish," he said, gazing into his glass as if all the answers would magically appear there.
"Then I guess you're going to have to figure out what's going on with her. Good luck, man."
Back at the office the next day, Nathaniel watched Rebecca like a hawk. She seemed nervous, her eyes constantly flitting around and not speaking to anyone except Paula. Once again she was wearing a turtleneck. The change in wardrobe was something he was still trying to wrap his head around. Something was obviously off, but her behavior seemed too bizarre to be just about his proposal to move in together.
He decided to try to talk to her again and approached her desk with as much confidence as he could muster in the moment, "Hi."
"Hi," she avoided his eyes and focused on her computer.
"Hey, maybe I could come over tonight? I know Hector dragged Heather to that podcast festival. We can watch that cute animal show you like. Oh, and I'll order takeout from that Thai place and I promise I'll even eat some rice. How does that sound?" He knew this offer was irresistible to her - she was always begging to watch that obnoxiously saccharine show - and she would have to have a good reason to say no.
She sighed and covered her face with both her hands for a moment, "I can't. I'm sorry, Nathaniel." Her voice started to rise and get shrill, "I'm just busy today and I have to get home and…"
"It's ok, it's ok. I'll see you later." He tried to keep his voice calm, despite the fact he had no fucking clue what was happening right now. She finally met his eyes and they were pleading with him, silently communicating something that he couldn't understand.
He furrowed his brow and asked in a low whisper, "Are you ok?"
"God, Nathaniel, I'm just busy, ok!?" she yelled in frustration. Her expression was pained and she got up abruptly and headed to the bathroom. He stood in place for a moment, stunned, and then caught Paula watching him with concern.
"Paula," he began, drifting over to her desk, "can I see you in my office please?"
"Yep, just give me five minutes, boss," she replied.
When she came into his office, she shut the door behind her and, instead of speaking, handed Nathaniel a note:
Rebecca is in trouble. Can't discuss it in the office. Meet me at my car after work.
She watched Nathaniel read the note, her hands clasped tightly in front of her, her expression full of worry. After he read the note, his mouth dropped open and his eyes widened at her. He mouthed, "What? In trouble?" Paula pulled both her lips into her mouth and nodded. Then she silently turned on her heels and went back to her desk.
Nathaniel was floored. In trouble? What was going on? He couldn't even begin to guess. He looked at Rebecca through the glass of his office door and she had her elbows on the desk and her head in her hands. More than anything he wanted to go to her, coax it out of her, comfort her. If she was in trouble, why wouldn't she just ask for his help?
After work, Nathaniel met Paula at her car, and she waved him in to sit in the passenger seat.
"Paula, what is going on? Why do we have to meet in your car?" His voice was tinged with irritation after agonizingly watching the clock tick slowly toward 5:00 all afternoon.
"What I'm about to tell you is going to sound crazy but I swear to god it's true. Rebecca asked me not to tell you because we thought we could handle this situation on our own, but it's gotten a little out of hand."
"Stop stalling and just tell me." He tried to mentally brace himself for whatever was coming.
"Rebecca has a stalker. His name is Trent and they went to Harvard together. He is obsessed with her and basically showed up at her apartment and has been staying there…"
"WHAT?!"
"Wait, just listen! He claims to have some kind of blackmail on Rebecca and she has been appeasing him to bide her time until we could figure out what to do."
"Appeasing him? What does that mean?" His imagination ran wild.
"Don't worry, from what Rebecca said it's mostly playing a lot of board games and wearing weird clothes he got her. Anyway, I have a plan. Trent has a storage locker nearby. If I can crack the lock, maybe we could find some dirt on him so that we can blackmail the blackmailer!"
He was quiet for a moment, trying to take this all in. His hands were balled into fists and he wished he could shove those fists right into this guy's face. But he tried to remain calm to keep a level head. "Why haven't you called the police? And why hasn't she reached out to me?"
"Whatever blackmail he has on her has her really spooked. She made me swear not to call the police...or to tell you. He knows things about her that make us think he's been watching or listening to her - at her apartment, at the office - maybe even tracking her phone."
Nathaniel closed his eyes and shook his head, "Sorry...I'm still processing all this. What could he possibly have on Rebecca that's so bad? We all know her past. About Robert and Harvard…"
"It must be something else. I don't know. But we've got to help her."
He nodded, unsure what else to do. "Ok, let's go," he reached for the seatbelt and Paula grinned.
"Let's bust this asshole," she said before speeding away.
At the storage unit, Paula produced two flashlights from her back seat and handed one to Nathaniel. As they approached the unit, Nathaniel noticed the large lock blocking their entry, but Paula was unphased.
"Oh Trent, I thought you were going to give me a challenge," she said to herself. She removed one of her earrings and used it to easily pick the lock within seconds.
"Wow, that is troubling...but also impressive," he commented, in awe of her skills.
She flashed a sly grin at him, "Ok, let's see what he's hiding in here."
He pulled up on the sliding door and they both aimed their flashlights into the unit to reveal its contents. Both of their jaws dropped. There was a map of West Covina on the wall with pins in the locations Rebecca frequents, along with accompanying photo documentation. Clothes, socks, and underwear in boxes that clearly belonged to Rebecca. Lots of photos, obviously candids, taken without her knowledge. Some of these photos with Nathaniel, where his image was scratched out with a black Sharpie.
Nathaniel found a hanging light and pulled on its cord, throwing the unit in stark relief. They clicked off their flashlights.
"God, this is so much worse than I thought."
"We have to go to her apartment right now," he urged, about to bolt out the door.
She grabbed his arm, "Nathaniel, I know you're probably fuming right now, but we need to get the evidence of his stalking so we have leverage. We need to get rid of him for good."
He followed Paula's orders while his mind raced. With every picture he took, he could feel his heart rate rising, pounding between his ears. The urge to find this guy and kill him, especially if he had put one hand on Rebecca, was escalating with each passing moment. When he got to a cardboard box with articles of her clothing, his stomach crawled. He started to sweat and his breathing was labored. Panic ate away at him.
"Ok buddy, listen," she snapped her fingers in front of his face to get his attention. "We got photos of all this stuff, and we'll take some of these," she scooped up a pile of Trent's surveillance photos of Rebecca. "You gotta keep your head on straight or this is all going to blow up. We're going to go to her apartment, but you CANNOT go in. You're too riled up right now and he believes that you guys broke up. When the time is right, I'll go in there and confront him with the evidence. You'll wait in the car and when he's gone you can come in, ok?"
Nathaniel looked up at the ceiling for a moment, exhaled, and then acquiesced, "Fine, but let's get out of here right now."
Back at Rebecca's apartment, Paula parked across the street at a safe distance away so her car wouldn't easily be noticed. She reached into the back seat of the car and pulled out a set of binoculars and handed them to Nathaniel, "Here, we can take turns watching."
"Why is it that you happen to have two flashlights and a set of binoculars in the back seat of your car?"
"Oh, you have no idea how often these babies have come in handy. Now listen, once we see them and find the right moment, I'll head in. Remember, you stay here as the look out."
Nathaniel looked through the binoculars into the apartment. The blinds of the front room window were open, but there appeared to be no one there. "I don't see anyone," he said dejectedly, lowering the binoculars into his lap. He was a ball of tension, waiting to explode at the slightest provocation.
"It's going to be ok," Paula reassured him, noticing his restlessness.
He sighed and looked through the binoculars again. Suddenly, Rebecca stomped into the living room, Trent following close behind. Her face was flush with anger and she appeared to be yelling. She gestured emphatically and pointed to the door. "Wait! They're home!" Paula leaned forward in her seat, squinting to try to see what was going on. "They're arguing. I think she's trying to throw him out."
"Do you think he'll just leave?" she wondered out loud.
Nathaniel watched Trent start to approach Rebecca menacingly, saying something that caused her face to immediately change from anger to fear. She kept walking backward while he advanced toward her, until her back was against the wall and Trent was looming over her. Then he reached for her, one hand pressed against her shoulder, pinning her to the wall, while the other came up and wrapped roughly around her neck.
Fuck the plan. Nathaniel sprang into action, throwing the binoculars back to Paula and flying out of the car. He sprinted to the door of the apartment and only vaguely registered the sound of Paula calling after him to stop. But he was in motion and nothing was going to stop him at this point. He threw the door open, thankfully it was unlocked, and it hit the wall so hard that a hanging mirror fell off the wall and shattered into a million shards on the ground.
Trent and Rebecca both jumped at the sound and Nathaniel was on Trent before he had time to react, grabbing him by the back of his shirt to pull him off of Rebecca, and then shoving him up against the wall. "Get the fuck off of her!" he yelled and then landed a solid punch to his face, connecting with his nose. Trent, stunned, reeled back from the punch and slumped to the ground. He covered his nose with his hands and rolled back and forth on the floor.
Rebecca stood nearby with both her hands covering her face, in complete shock. When Nathaniel moved to go for Trent again, Rebecca screamed, "Nathaniel stop!" He stopped in his tracks and turned back to her, wondering what she could possibly say that would keep him from turning this guy into a bloody mess. "He knows what you were going to do to Josh's family. He knows everything. I was trying to protect you."
Just then Paula appeared in the doorway, evidence in hand. Her mouth dropped open, seeing Trent writhing on the ground. "Oh my god!" she cried incredulously.
Trent lumbered to his feet, still covering his nose, blood seeping out of his palm. "I know everything you did and now you can add assault and battery to that list," Trent said to Nathaniel.
"We went to your storage unit and we saw everything," Paula interjected, holding up the photos. "We found these and we took photos of everything else. You've been stalking Rebecca ever since you met. If you go to the police, we'll discredit you."
"What?" Rebecca took the photos from Paula and stared at them in abject horror.
Nathaniel grabbed the front of Trent's shirt and he winced. Nathaniel looked him dead in the eyes and said with complete seriousness, "If you do know everything I did, then you know how far I would go for Rebecca. If you come anywhere near her again, you'll have to deal with me. And if you ever touch her again, I will kill you with my bare hands. Understand?" Blood that had been trickling from Trent's nose dripped onto Nathaniel's hand, but he didn't flinch or move.
Trent nodded so Nathaniel released him and he quickly scrambled out of the apartment, carefully navigating between the shards of glass on the ground. Paula and Rebecca watched this all unfold, speechless. He closed the door behind Trent and then rested his back against it, scrubbing his face with his hand. He was running on pure adrenaline, his hands shaking while he tried to catch his breath.
After he reconfigured his senses, he went to Rebecca, looking her up and down, "Are you hurt?" He tentatively moved the collar of her shirt to the side and saw red marks where Trent had held her neck. Another surge of anger flowed through him and he briefly contemplated whether he could catch up to Trent and inflict more harm on him.
"That was the only time he touched me," she reassured him and a breath rushed out of him in relief.
Paula put up a hand to them and said, "Ok, let's clean this up and get out of here." She left them alone to get supplies from the hall closet.
Rebecca reached for Nathaniel and he gladly took her into his arms, bending at his knees so she could fully wrap her arms around his shoulders.
"I'm so sorry" Rebecca choked out, and he could feel her whole body trembling.
"Don't be sorry," he said and rubbed her back. "I've got you. You're safe." He buried his face in her neck and closed his eyes, hugging her to him as tightly as he could.
So this is what it felt like to love someone more than yourself.
After a few more moments of holding her, he opened his eyes and saw Paula watching them, a broom and dustpan in hand, looking like she may cry. He loosened his arms and said, "I'll clean this up. You and Paula go sit on the couch." She reluctantly let go and he took the supplies from Paula and started to clean.
"Sweetie, what happened?" Paula asked once they were seated, taking one of Rebecca's hands in hers.
"Today I just had enough. I told him I would never love him no matter what he did and I tried to kick him out. Then, it was like a switch had been flipped and he got really upset. He threatened to hurt Nathaniel or get him arrested. And that's when he...well, you saw."
"I don't think he'll be bothering you again. I saw Trent's face - Nathaniel scared the crap out of him." Paula smiled at Nathaniel. "I guess your plan was better than mine," she admitted.
He emptied some glass into the trash can and huffed out a laugh, "That wasn't exactly a plan. That was just...pure blind rage. I feel like I could lift a car over my head right now."
"Please don't," Rebecca said and smiled fondly at him over the back of the couch.
After they cleaned up the mess, Rebecca and Nathaniel parted ways with Paula and decided to sleep at his apartment. The car ride was quiet, both of them internalizing what they just experienced. Rebecca silently focused on the road, her eyes vacant, driving on autopilot. He longed for her to say something - anything - for insight into her emotional state. He would rather she cry, yell, whatever she needed to get it out, than watch her stare blankly into the void. Every minute that passed felt like an eternity with the dial of tension being slowly ratcheted higher and higher. But he didn't want to push her and he didn't know the rules for how to respond to trauma.
When they were safely home and he shut the door behind them, they stood in the entryway awkwardly, and he felt unsure how to act. "Why don't I run you a bath?" he offered.
She nodded and followed Nathaniel into the bathroom. He turned on the hot water and ran his hand under the faucet to measure the temperature, while she began to disrobe. She pulled the turtleneck over her head and threw it angrily into the bathroom's trash can. Raising her eyes to the mirror, she moved her head back and forth, examining the red marks, already slowly fading, around her neck.
Closing her eyes for a moment, she exhaled through her nose and then picked up her phone and thrust it into Nathaniel's free hand.
"Take a photo of me."
"Huh?"
She pointed to her neck, "Just in case."
"We should go to the police," he said, pained at the sight of the evidence of his assault.
"No, I'm not going to risk putting you in any more danger. I just want this all to be over," she replied, resolute. "So take it." He rose from where he sat on the side of the tub and obeyed her. When he returned the phone to her, she looked at the photo, emotionless, and he noticed her skin was paler than usual. After a few moments, she had clearly receded into her own thoughts, no longer actually seeing what was on the screen in front of her. Gently, he took the phone from her and set on the counter. It snapped her out of her reverie and she continued removing her clothes.
Nathaniel returned to the bath, shutting off the faucet and adding two scoops of lavender-scented bath salts to the hot water. He left her alone to change out of his suit into softer clothes. The earrings he gifted her were still on his dresser, a sad reminder that his request they move in together had gone unanswered. And, given the circumstances, it would likely continue to be on hold for the time being. He noticed a stray hair tie on the dresser's top and grabbed it for her.
When he returned to the bathroom, she was in the tub, the water hazy from the bath salts, the bathroom filled with its floral scent. He bent down and gathered her hair into a sloppy ponytail, securing it with the hair tie. Then he settled down beside the tub, his ample height putting them at eye level with each other.
"Thank you," she said softly and reached for his hand. He held it and used his other hand to stroke her arm. "And thank you for rescuing me. I mean, it was very dramatic, very un-Nathaniel-like, but Trent definitely got the message."
It was true, his reaction was quite uncharacteristic. He couldn't think of one time he had ever been in a fight or had to throw a punch. Plimptons never got their own hands dirty. But when he saw Rebecca's scared face and Trent looming over her, it triggered something in him. He saw red. There was nothing he wouldn't do in that moment to protect her.
"I'm sorry for bringing you into this mess," she said, picking up on his mood.
"You didn't do anything wrong."
"Please don't say that. I asked you to do those things to Josh's family. I brought Trent into your life and he could have hurt you or gotten you in trouble." Clearly frustrated, she put her head back against the tub again and exhaled loudly. "I need to start taking responsibility for my life," she whispered to the ceiling. He let the issue rest and just rubbed her arm while she tried to relax.
His eyes unintentionally drifted to her neck once again, and he felt a jolt of heat in his chest. The truth was it wasn't anger that catapulted him from the car to confront Trent. It was fear. The fear of losing her. He had felt that iron grip of fear around his heart before, back when Paula told him Rebecca tried to kill herself. But that was before. Before he knew her favorite position to fall asleep - on her right side, little spoon - but that she always ended up on her back. Before he knew how to push her buttons or how to get her to collapse in laughter. Before he knew her heart, her kindness, her strength, and her courage. It was before he loved her. So, whatever he had felt then, it was nothing compared to what he lived through today.
"I want to tell you something. Something I've never told anyone," he cleared his throat and she lifted her head from the edge of the tub. She straightened up and regarded him with interest. "When I was 10 years old, I found my mother unconscious on her bed. I couldn't wake her up and there was a bottle of pills next to her."
Rebecca's face softened and she looked down at their joined hands as he continued, "It was the first time I realized I could lose someone I cared about. Someone as important as my mother. Of course we weren't allowed to discuss it and I buried that memory down, until…" He still had trouble saying the words out loud - a verbal hangover from his childhood. If you don't say it out loud, maybe it never happened.
Rebecca said nothing, her gaze unwavering, challenging him to continue.
"...you tried to kill yourself," he finally finished. He ran his free hand through his hair nervously. "When Paula told me, it was like I couldn't breathe. It was like I was 10 years old again, totally helpless. Actually, it pushed me to finally talk to my mother about it and it mended our relationship."
She smiled and shrugged, "I guess I'm glad one good thing came out of it."
"When I found out you were in trouble, I had that panicky feeling again. That overwhelming fear. That reminder that I could lose you. God, I've never been so scared in my life." He stopped and looked away, a huge lump sitting in his throat.
"Hey," she said and, when he re-established eye contact, she had absolute recognition in her eyes. "I understand that more than you'll ever know," she enunciated each word slowly and squeezed his hand reassuringly. "I'm not going anywhere. You're stuck with me, Plimpton."
He wanted so badly to tell her he loved her then. But with the words still unrequited, this wasn't the moment to put any undue pressure on her. Instead, he brought her hand to his lips and kissed the back of her hand. "I'm not either."
"Let's move in together," she said abruptly, taking him by surprise. "When you asked the other day I was taken off-guard. I needed to process it, talk about it with Dr. Akopian."
"And you're sure?"
"Yes. This feels right," she mused, looking at their clasped hands again. He felt like his heart might burst from his chest.
Later, nestled under the blankets in his bed, Nathaniel threw his arm over her waist and pulled her back against him so they shared the same pillow. A soft smile played at her lips as he dragged her across the bed to be pressed to his chest, and she relaxed, covering his hand with her own. The days she was missing, under Trent's captivity, these were the moments he had longer for. Now that he was accustomed to the feeling of her like this - warm and soft and anchored against him - her absence was a cold, empty void.
"Hey, I want to tell you something I've never told anyone before too," she said softly. He wished he could see her face, but also realized that maybe she felt some solace under the veil of darkness. "You make me feel...secure. Like I can completely trust you."
It wasn't a declaration of love, but he'd take it. And from what he knew about her past relationships, this was probably a big deal in itself. He didn't respond verbally but nosed her hair and settled in to let sleep take him. She must have been exhausted from the ordeal because after a few short minutes her breathing turned heavy and even, the sound a comfort to him. She was here and she was safe. He wouldn't let anyone hurt her ever again. The words came out almost of their own volition, in a whisper into her hair, "I love you so much." The hand that covered his tightened and he wasn't sure if she was awake or if it was an unconscious movement in sleep. Even though she hadn't said those exact words yet, he was hopeful she felt the same way. Whether she moved into his place or they got a new one together, it didn't matter. She was his home now and he never wanted to be away from home again.
