I See Red
Chapter 10: Red Sauce
A bar of sunlight passed through the window, searing the skin of her arm and part of her pure white tummy, now completely healed of bruises. She grunted unappreciatively at the fact that she woke up, it wasn't lunchtime yet, and she had a long day of doing nothing ahead of her.
Was it three days or four days or a week or two weeks since she stopped going to school? Without the comfortable routine she developed (though a lot of it was with the Sadist), she had lost track of the passage of time.
All she knew was that she's out of manga. Apart from an ancient Famicom, there were no video game consoles in their small apartment for her to play with. (Gin-chan refused to buy her an Owee or a TS or the Bintendo Stitch or a PS Zita because he didn't want her to be exposed to violent games, even though all she wanted to do was to play otome games all day long). They didn't have cable, so there was nothing to watch except the news channel, the weather channel, and a vintage channel that showed nothing but action series from the eighties.
She could go to the supermarket or the mall, but after that thing with the Sadist happened, Gin-chan had grounded her. Besides, even if she weren't, she had less than a thousand yen in her purse and going out would mean that she needed to take a shower and she didn't have the energy to do anything as taxing as that today. Maybe she could hang out at Snack Otose and leech off of their wifi…
Feeling more empty-headed than the day before, she shuffled out of the room and was mildly surprised to see the old man contentedly watching the Ketsuno Ana Weather Bonanza in the living room. He looked up from his bowl of Chocolate Coated Sugar Bombs in condensed milk. "Oh. My young NEET is awake."
"Isn't it noon? Don't you have work, you lazy bastard?"
"It's Saturday. And I don't want to hear that from a miserable dropout who has Cheetos in her hair."
She absently picked at her hair. Indeed, a Jalapeno Cheeto was pasted at the side of her head. She popped it in her mouth carelessly and dropped next to Ginpachi. "Make me some cereal too, Gin-chan."
"You have a fully functional pair of legs and arms, don't you? Make some for yourself."
"Urgh… It's too much trouble…" She lay down on the space next to him and continued groaning lazily. "I'll just keep lying down here 'til you make me food. Come on, tou-san. It's child abuse if you don't feed me, yup."
Ginpachi sighed and put his bowl on the coffee table. He pulled Kagura up by her arms and forced her to sit down. "Look, I get how bad an example I must be, but don't you aspire to the level of laziness I've achieved, young lady. You've spent the whole week out of school dicking around and playing video games and reading manga and ignoring your personal hygiene. Let's try to get you to actually take a few more steps than the distance between your room and the refrigerator today."
"I'm recovering, Gin-chan. My broken heart just sapped me of my energy. I thought that I couldn't go on living," she said blankly. As if to emphasize her thought, she started picking her nose until a thin line of blood flowed from her left nostril.
"Hrm. Who was that ass who rejected you again? Hisashi or whatever?"
"Yup. From the calisthenics club. That's him. He's the reason why I can't bring myself to go back to school. But, don't call him an ass, okay? He's a good kid, yup."
"Funny, I can't seem to find a name like that in any of the class lists. Didn't you tell me that guy was in the old hag's homeroom class?"
She made the cutest whining noise that she could muster. "I only said he was there so you wouldn't find him~ it's too embarrassing, Gin-chan! He technically didn't do anything wrong… he felt that he was too unhealthy to have a relationship with me, so he broke my heart early on to save us further heartbreak. It was… a The Fart In Our Stars kind of situation."
"It's Fault." Ginpachi clicked his tongue while scratching his head. Kagura knew that he knew she was just bullshitting him, yet he kept playing along her lie. "You know the first cut is always the deepest and the one that hurts the most, Kagura. So's the first shot of anesthetic they put on your xxxxx during circumcision. But after you wear a skirt for a few days and the swelling goes down, you come out of it stronger and manlier than before."
"Ew. Also, don't talk about gross things like circumcision to me, an innocent young maiden. Yup."
"That's not my point. I just want you to heal your heart and feel better and to come back to school, okay? Whenever you're ready." Ginpachi said this in such a gentle, almost pleading tone that Kagura momentarily felt bad about all of her brazen lies. But what could she do? She wouldn't be able to stand it if Gin-chan knew about how she let those girls hurt her and how her classmates in 3Z stood up for her, but broke the rules and risked expulsion as they did.
I'm still a weakling after all.
"And… your friends miss you too. Patsuan and Otae, Zura and that duck, and Tokugawa and her bodyguard ask about you all the time. The others…" Ginpachi paused for a bit, mulled over an unknown thought for a while, then let it go. "The other kids miss you too. They don't tell me, but I know. Don't you miss them too?"
No mention of the Shinsengumi. Or of that annoying Sadist who couldn't leave her alone. Kagura thought that being a dad, Gin-chan was still mad at Okita after he caught them in that compromising position. (She was barely able to explain that incident away. Gin-chan spent days ranting about evil sadistic boys who take advantage of broken-hearted stupid girls and how she should never be one of those stupid girls because she'll end up at the wrong end of the leash in a BDSM brothel with him somewhere.)
Those rants went in one ear and out the other. However, thinking about it made her cheeks unjustifiably warm. She was barely able to fight the red from rising up her cheeks.
"Of course I miss them." Damn it, that stupid face with those stupid red eyes and stupid soft looking sandy hair won't go away from her imagination. She blinked rapidly and forced that image out of her head. "But Gin-chan… maybe it's not a bad idea for me to stay at home, yes? Remember, Papi told you that I should be home-schooled instead… he had that long rant about how the educational system is ruining children's lives and all that, yup."
GInpachi made an annoyed grumbling noise. "That Baldy doesn't know the first thing about kids and education. Even though I'm the greatest thing since sweet beans on rice, it ain't good for you to stay in here all day without anyone else to talk to but me." He paused as if remembering something important. "I have a deal for you Kagura. If you really want to be homeschooled instead, you have to agree to my terms."
Kagura nodded seriously. "I'll take it, Gin-chan."
"Listen first." Ginpachi sighed. "Your classmates worked hard for next week's Culture Festival. I want you to be there to support them."
"Oh, they did? What will the class be doing?" She had known that Soyo-chan was hard at work since the month before organizing the event—it was how she ended up in the grubby grasp of the Sadist, after all.
"Janken Pon Tournament." Ginpachi shrugged when Kagura made a face. "It's Souichirou-kun's idea."
Her face scrunched up even more. It surprised her, though, that that uninterested punk Chihuahua was suddenly getting himself involved in class projects. I wonder what's happening in that twisted head of his.
(Stupid, stupid Kagura, thinking about his stupid bishonen face again. Wait, who says he's a bishonen, huh?! Get a grip, this ain't no shoujo manga dammit.)
"There's some modifications to the rules. I don't know why the class is excited, but they're all fired up about it. Anyway, for the entire festival, all the students, faculty, and even visitors are encouraged to go in any costume they like. So I'd like us to go in a father-daughter costume set too. That's part of the deal."
"Gin-chan, that's so cheesy," said Kagura. She couldn't repress her giggle, though. "So if I go there, you won't force me to go back to school anymore?"
Ginpachi shrugged. "If that's what you really want. So… deal?"
That wasn't what she wanted to do, of course. She felt awful that she wasn't in Gintama High. She felt lonely that she wasn't with everyone, planning out the tournament and thinking up of costumes she could wear with the girls and even arguing with the others about things.
But she couldn't bear it if the Sadist-no, if anybody else got hurt because of her again. If she went back as a student, there is no other outcome. If she went back for one day, just one last time as a visitor, and in a nice disguise too, then maybe things wouldn't come to that.
With a straight face, she put out her hand, and Ginpachi shook it.
"Since you agreed to our proposal, I have a present for you. Close your eyes."
"No way. You're just gonna wipe your boogers on my hair again."
"My boogers would be the cleanest thing on your head if I wiped it there, you slob. When was the last time you washed it? I'm serious. Close those baby blues already, god."
He was never a guy who liked giving presents or pleasant surprises, so that in itself was a surprise. With unease very plain on her face, Kagura closed her eyes. Her auditory sense increasing in sensitivity (honed from years of fighting with her biological family), she clearly imagined her foster dad standing up from the couch, walking with a wide stride out of the door (more quickly than his usual lazy gait—as if he was excited about this too). It took him a few moments before he came back, panting (?), with a grunt that meant he was carrying something heavy.
Her nostrils captured a strange, familiar, warm smell. A fuzzy feeling of excitement welled up in her.
"Open your eyes."
She opened them excitedly—her theory was correct. In Ginpachi's arms was a big, round pile of white floof, with huge dark eyes and a big pink tongue. He wagged his tail happily as he looked up at Kagura's smile.
"A puppy! Gin-chan! He's perfect!" She took the dog in her arms and gave it a big hug. He barked happily in response.
"A puppy…? Oi, if this giant thing stood up on its hind legs and ran it could play in the NBA," said Ginpachi. He tried his best to look annoyed, but it was clear that seeing the big spirited smile on Kagura's face for the first time again in a long time brightened him up too. "Granny says we can keep him here, but you have to feed it and bathe it and walk it outside so it could shit and piss and throw up as dogs are bound to do. Capice?"
"Caprice!"
Ginpachi smiled—he was used to her messing up her words that he found this quirk very cute. "Okay. Now go take a shower already. The dog smells better than you."
"Okay~ Come on, Sadaharu, let's use Gin-chan's Vidal Hahoon on you too!"
"Oi, keep away from my Vidal Hahoon, you punk."
Preparations went by in a blur, and the next thing anyone knew, it was already the day of the festival.
Okita sighed as he stared at himself in the mirror. Mitsuba was behind him and was taking a photo of them for her Instagram. "Aneue, come on, don't post that."
"Why not? You see how handsome you are? The girls at your school are going to swoon and drool over you. Besides, my selfies with you get the most likes." She showed him the photo that she took, which showed him in his ronin costume—a red kimono over a white hakama, a long cream coloured scarf, a fake katana and wakizashi at his side, a wig that made him look like he had longer hair in a high ponytail. It was due in part to the class's agreement to dress as fighters or warriors, and he and the rest of the Shinsengumi decided to wear period Japanese samurai costumes. He didn't look too bad, he supposed.
And later on, when he made it to Gintama High, Mitsuba's prediction about how the girls would react were annoyingly accurate. They swooned and drooled and blushed and squee'd when he gave them his usual fake polite smile. He heard them whisper about how heroic he looked, and wasn't it nice that he doesn't seem to have that noisy, perpetually hungry Chinese girl around him all the time anymore? Did they break up or something? Single looks so good on him though!
A quiet annoyance flared up from within his chest.
Section 3Z was preparing for the Janken Pon Tourney when he walked in. As soon as he saw him, Kondou, who was in a massive gorilla suit that suited him well, called him over to ask for help setting up the ring.
"Kondou-san. I thought we were going to be samurai."
"… an accident happened," he answered with a look of pure shame in his face. Hijikata, dressed in a dark soldier's uniform with a trench coat, looked like he was suffering from severe second-hand embarrassment, and this was enough to confirm that it was related to Kondou-san's anal sphincter control problem. "This was the only other costume I had lying around at home. I'm Monkey Kong."
He didn't bother asking why he had the gorilla suit in the first place.
The rest of the class prepared in a rush, setting up booths, small snack stands, arranging seats, placing the teaser posters, and doing each other's' make-up. Later on, Soyo (dressed as Princess Orange from Bintendo's Bash Brothers series) called everyone's attention and told them they would be starting soon.
3Z was not without its fans, and as soon as the doors opened, people flooded in. Dedicated fangirls (mostly for the Shinsengumi and their individual members) and fanboys (of Diamond Perfume, Otae's girlband from the last talent show) had created sign boards and posters and cheering squads and everything.
"We have a huge audience this early in the day! Thank you very much for supporting Class 3Z's first ever Janken Pon Tourney!" Shinpachi, clad in a blue-and-white Luchador costume, shone on stage in all his leather and baby oiled skin. "Let's hear everyone shout! Who do you think is going to win the tournament?!"
The audience shouted all over the place. Okita noted that a bunch of girls who were eyeing him hungrily from the entrance simultaneously screeched "Sougo-kunnn!" the loudest, and this earned him the ire of most of the other guys in the room.
"All right! We encourage everyone to bet on who will be the champion! Winners will have a chance to win these 2000 yen Frontbucks Coffee gift certificates!" Shinpachi proudly flashed the certificates in one hand. "So, without further ado, let the games begin!"
The fights were unexpectedly exciting—even Okita had to admit that. Even though the class decided on the battles at random, they were matched with the best possible challenger. The first match (Kondou as Monkey Kong vs Otae as Sailor Bloom) ended up with Otae successfully giving Kondou a concussion. The next one (Katsura as Super Katsuo versus Kyuubei as Black Tie Mask) ended up with the janken pon hammer not-accidentally falling on Katsura's balls because he kept bringing up the 'best androgynous character' argument with her. A heart-stopping battle between Nobume (dressed as Boa Hancock from One P*ece, much to her fanboys' delight) and Saitou (dressed as the Halfro Samurai) followed next, with the hammer and helmet breaking simultaneously, ending in a draw.
Hijikata and Okita fought next. The boys had a brilliantly entertaining battle—many girls ended up with their faces red from squealing and with their noses bleeding. Okita won and heard from the side that Nobume was going to release her next HijiOki doujinshi next week (much to Hijikata's chagrin).
The only unsatisfactory fight was between Takasugi (dressed in a soldier's uniform with a white headband and metal plate) and Hasegawa (dressed in a really nice magenta kimono with golden butterflies embroidered on them, and an eyepatch and a pipe—no one knew who the heck he was supposed to be). The fight ended in one clean stroke, with the hammer in Takasugi's hand and the helmet barely touching Madao's head, broken in half. The fight went as everyone expected. Takasugi walked out of the ring, earning himself a following of fangirls as he did, and all Hasegawa earned was profanities from Ginpachi-sensei because he lost a bet.
"What a punk," grumbled Hijikata. Takasugi disappeared at the back of the room and, making his disinterest plain, started reading Les Miserables with his feet up a desk. A few girls discreetly took photos of him with their phones.
"All right! Is everyone still fired up?!" Shinpachi was greeted by the audience screaming their lungs out. "Our judges will deliberate on who will move on to the semi-finals." He gestured to a desk, where Soyo, Yamazaki (dressed in a period Japan version of the Prince of Minton outfit), and Ginpachi-sensei (dressed as a 'police chief from Eaglekins,' but he looked like a park ranger). "In the meantime, we'll have the Free Melee! We encourage our audience members at this point to play Janken Pon with any 3Z student of their choice! Those who win against our classmates will earn these discount coupons from the Great Edo Supermarket!"
No-one mentioned the fact that the discount coupon was for a buy one, take one mayonnaise or anpan. Hijikata and Yamazaki were too pissed that the prizes would be given to someone else.
"So… any takers?" Shinpachi stood there awkwardly, sweating in his oil-covered Luchador costume for a while, regarding the suddenly silent audience. No-one would dare challenge the nutjobs of 3Z for fear of their own lives, except maybe a nutjob himself.
Indeed, after a few awkward silent moments, someone raised his hand from behind the classroom. "I'm in!"
Everyone turned to the nutjob who volunteered. Okita guessed that he was probably a visitor. He was in costume, just like most of the attendees of the festival. His head, face, and arms were covered in white bandages, and he was wearing what appeared to be an admiral's outfit, with a long red trenchcoat, a dark suit underneath, and heavy duty boots. Because of the bandages, all that was visible was the blue eyes underneath, which glowed in excitement.
Okita frowned. He had a bad feeling about this.
"We have our first challenger!" Shinpachi walked up to the bandaged guy, who leaped, flipped, and landed neatly at the center of the ring. "Challenger-san! Please tell us your name and where you're from, who you're dressed as, and who you want to challenge!"
"Yeah, okay! Name—I guess my wrestling name could be Bebop K-kun. I'm from a different planet. Um… I'm dressed as a piece of toast. And I wanna challenge that guy over there." He pointed to the far end of the room, where Takasugi barely looked up from his book.
"Wh-what about your real name? T-this isn't wrestling—"
"Huh? Then why are you in a tight body suit? Is this a fetish or something?"
"N-no… our theme was fighters," stammered Shinpachi. "Alright then. Can we please ask Takasugi-kun to—"
"Sorry," interrupted Takasugi. "Hasegawa-kun put up such a tough fight that my hand got sprained. I respectfully refuse this challenge." He waved his hand around, showing how intact it was, before turning back to his book.
"Oh! Then—Bebop K-kun-san, perhaps you can challenge another 3Z student instead of Takasugi-kun?"
The bandaged guy snorted. "Nah. I wanted to fight the strongest guy here. It'd be boring fighting against anyone else." He motioned to leave the stage, leaving Shinpachi stranded.
"We better watch that guy. He doesn't look right in the head," muttered Hijikata. Okita had to agree—there was something disconcerting about those blue eyes…
"If I may suggest something, Bebop-kun…" Again, everyone turned to Takasugi. "If the strongest is who you're looking for, maybe try my friends from the Shinsengumi."
Kondou, Hijikata, and Okita glanced briefly at each other, and then at Takasugi, and then at the bandaged guy. Bebop-kun, with a look of renewed interest in his eyes, started laughing in a boyish way. "So who in the Shinsengumi should I challenge, Takasugi-kun? Which one among them is the strongest?"
Takasugi shrugged in response. In his place, however, a girl from the audience shouted with fervour, "There's no-one as strong as Okita-kun! He could beat your ass!"
"Yeah! That bastard's pretty strong! He chased our Queen Gura-sama out! You better beat his ass, Bebop-kun!" Some ugly nerd from the audience screamed. He was backed up later by some other ugly nerds who were publicly, unabashedly, and shamelessly in-love with Kagura, and something sadistic inside Okita whispered to him to root all those nerds out and beat them up one by one when the festival was over.
The room was soon divided into those cheering for Okita (mostly girls) and those supporting that bandaged guy (mostly jealous guys), and both guys seemed to have no choice but to battle. Okita climbed into the ring and bent forward slightly, prepared to throw either rock-paper-scissors. Bebop mimicked his position, his eyes creased gleefully.
"R-right! I guess our next battle is between Okita-san, 3Z's very own top student and resident sadist, and Bebop K-kun, our mysterious challenger from outer space with a bandage fetish! Everyone, chant with me! Jan! Ken!"
Barely has the audience screamed "Pon!" when both Okita and Bebop threw their hands. The game progressed rapidly after that—Okita acting purely on reflex and what he felt was survival instinct, and that bandaged guy with those unnerving blue eyes matching his speed and accuracy.
Everyone in the room held his breath. "This is amazing, ladies and gentlemen! They're moving so fast that it looks like they simultaneously have a hammer and helmet on! I can't tell who's winning!" cried Shinpachi, in full commentator mode.
Okita saw the moment when their not-so-friendly game turned into a brawl: as that Bebop guy attempted to hit him on the head with a hammer, his other hand shot out to target Okita's head. He dodged this, and the audience barely noticed this at first, but the assault continued. The strikes were strong enough to make a whooshing sound close to his ear each time a bandaged fist aimed for his eyes.
And he knew he shouldn't have, but Okita couldn't keep himself from retaliating, and the wicked excitement in his opponent's eyes grew and grew. His fists attempted to hit that annoying bandaged head of his. At one point, their fists collided with each other head on, and Okita could feel the raw strength through the punch. He's as strong as me, he thought in blank admiration, but he is too damn irritating.
"Wait a sec—this is beginning to look like a full-on brawl!" announced Shinpachi.
Finally you caught on, you human wearing glasses, thought Okita, as he received a blow to his shoulder. This time, the bandaged guy didn't bother putting up a farce of playing Janken Pon against him. The blows continued to come down, the next one quicker and stronger than the last, and Okita matched each easily strike per strike—even though he wanted to stop the fight, he had no choice but to keep fighting. If he were hit, he would definitely need to go to the hospital to get surgery for internal haemorrhage.
He barely heard the audience break simultaneously into screams of horror and excitement. Just as a bandaged fist was on its way to the space between his eyes, Okita felt himself being swiped away from the battlefield. At the same time, a silver shadow roughly grabbed his opponent from behind.
His fighting trance broken abruptly, he looked up and saw a gorilla holding him by the shoulders with a worried look on his face.
Across him, Bebop was struggling out of Ginpachi-sensei's iron grip. Barely looking bothered, Ginpachi announced, "Enough of that. I decree that Soy-sauce-kun and Barbecue-sauce-kun are disqualified from the match."
"What? Just as it was getting good? You guys are so uptight!" said the bandage guy in his boyish voice. He broke free from Ginpachi's grip, not without difficulty, and straightened out his costume. "Can I get a rematch?"
"Sorry, Barbecue-kun." Soyo was also inside the ring and placed herself in between the fighters. "We thank you for participating, and we'll give you the discount coupons, but I'm afraid we can't let the likes of you stay here any longer."
He tilted his head to the side, his eyes creased in amusement. "Oh~ the likes of me, huh, Princess? You have any idea what I'm really like underneath these bandages?"
"Not interested in punks like you." Soyo said this with a regal smile on her face. "Thank you for supporting our class's contribution to the festival!"
The audience practically flinched when Soyo coldly replied like that, whispering wow, I didn't know that Tokugawa-san could be such an ice queen and they looked nervously at the guy's reaction. However, he was practically laughing his ass off. "Wow—oh, wow, my heart rate just went up! Am I—am I blushing? So… so this is the famous Tokugawa-san…? I think I'm falling in-love! I'm definitely—definitely coming back for you, yup!" His creased eyes opened sharply, and suddenly he was glaring at everyone else on stage.
Behind Soyo, Nobume stood in attention, and the rest of the Shinsengumi were facing him as well. Just when it seemed like he was about to fight them, he changed his mind and shrugged. "I guess show's over. I'm gonna go check out the other classes. See ya!" Without further ado, he leaped off the ring and landed neatly on his feet. He walked out of the room with both hands in his pockets, as if nothing happened.
Shinpachi then stammered to the audience that they're taking a quick break before the semi-finals will continue. The other students streamed in and out of the room, whispering excitedly to each other how cool/twisted that mystery guy was and how cool/twisted Okita was for being able to match him.
"Geez, you're really a magnet for trouble, aren't you, Sougo?" said Hijikata, tossing him a bottle of Bocari sweat.
Okita effortlessly caught the bottle in one hand and pointed its nozzle to the back of the room. "We owe this one to Takasugi."
He nodded. "Yeah. I've been watching that bandage guy—he kept glancing at that one-eyed freak the entire time. He obviously knows about him before the games started. But Takasugi looks like he's avoiding him at all costs."
"Could be a delinquent from another school who knows about his rep." Okita flashbacked to what Kagura told him about stupid kids who only want to be the strongest, and would keep seeking out the strongest in other schools.
"Hm. Let's hope it's as simple as that."
"Oi. Soy-sauce. You have any idea who that guy was?" They turned simultaneously to Ginpachi-sensei, who ambled up to them lazily. He had a new smoking lollipop in his mouth. "Don't go inviting your other sadist friends to this school, alright? The damage could have been worse."
"I don't make friends with other sadists, teach. I don't like sharing my toys," replied Okita shamelessly.
"You better be sure. I'm letting you off easy now 'cause it looked like you just fought in self-defense, but next time that happens I'm taking you to the principal's office. What is it with these nut jobs in bandages? Looking like you have multiple bodily injuries doesn't make you look cool at all," he mumbled, not without bitterness in his voice. He gave Takasugi a well-meaning side-eye, but this was blatantly ignored.
"Speaking of which, Sensei, what are you supposed to be? Sm*key the Bear? We were supposed to dress like fighters," asked Hijikata.
"I told you, I'm the police chief of Eaglekins. Fighting monsters and other slimy shit from the Upside Down. My costume doesn't make much sense as it is right now, though."
"You usually don't make any sense anyway, sensei."
"And you have nothing but mayonnaise in between your ears." He sighed. "Let's hope she gets here soon so that I don't have to waste my breath explaining my costume to every loser who asks."
"… she?" Hijikata and Okita asked simultaneously. As if on cue, a clamour composed of surprised gasps and excited squeals rose from the other side of the room.
"Kagura-chan! You're back!" As he heard one of his classmates say this, he turned to the doorway.
It felt like it was a scene from a bad teen movie. The crowd parted before her in slow motion. The light from the ceiling inexplicably shone over her. She was in the middle of giving Soyo a tight hug. Her eyes, dusted with dark brown eyeshadow, were closed mid-blink. Her red hair was slicked back with a generous amount of hair wax. Her small body, clothed in a dark coat with tall shoulder pads, a dark shirt, and high-waisted cuffed jeans, turned to his direction slowly, and her striking blue eyes opened slowly and caught his own gaze, and…
She made an ugly face at him and stuck out her tongue.
He raised his middle finger in response, and when Ginpachi-sensei saw this, he earned a smack to the head. "Oi. Treat my dumb kid with respect, you punk."
"Gin-chan!" She ran over to him and showed him a pile of yellow boxes. "Sorry I'm late! I bought a bunch of stuff from the supermarket and I lost track of time, uh-huh!"
"Tsk. 'bout time you got here. Anyway, take a good look at us, you bastards. Do you understand our costumes now?"
The two Shinsengumi boys stared at them blankly. "Um… is this… Sm*key the Bear and an arsonist…?" stammered Hijikata.
"See, Kagura? They don't get it! I told you we should have stuck to B*lma and Tr*nks!" whined Ginpachi.
"Gin-chan, don't mind them, yup. These guys only watch harem anime. They don't know about quality TV like Weirder Things. Besides, if you dressed up like B*lma everyone would need eye bleach," said Kagura, chewing on a frozen corndog. "For your information, he's the police chief of Eaglekins and I'm 111. I could like, make you piss your pants with just one look, yup."
It figured that they would go as the magical girl with superpowers and her reluctant adopted dad who fed them constantly with sweets. Okita knew that the costumes fit them well. Heck, China with dark make-up was unexpectedly not gross-looking. But he'll never say that out loud. "I'd piss over you given the chance."
"I'll break your xxxxx if you ever did that to me," she grumbled, however, she was distinctly avoiding his eyes. She turned to her foster dad and pulled his sleeve. "Gin-chan, take me around the festival~ it isn't Soyo-chan's break yet, so she can't come with me."
"Sorry, kiddo. You know that the other damn kids here are all walking time bombs so I can't leave them alone," Ginpachi drawled. "Anyways, I think it's Souichirou-kun's break right now. Ask him."
Kagura reluctantly looked at Okita, and he looked back at her with the blankest expression he could muster, as if challenging her to say something to him. But infuriatingly, she stayed silent. Instead, she looked away and mumbled something that he couldn't hear.
Shinpachi came up to them, all oily and sweaty from his hosting stint. No doubt he sensed the suddenly tense atmosphere in between them. "I can come with you, Kagura-chan. It's Yamazaki-san's turn to host, anyway."
"Yahoo! You better treat me to lots and lots of yakisoba, Patsuan! … ew, you're super slippery!" Without sparing another glance at the rest of them, Kagura took the shiny glasses by the arm and rushed out of the classroom, leaving a trail of slick oil behind.
Ginpachi shrugged and went back to his place at the judges' table. Hijikata patted Okita on the shoulder, as if saying hang in there, buddy, and went over to where Kondou was trying in vain to impress Otae-san.
That left Okita to explore the rest of the festival by himself, trying to shake off the looming feeling of boredom and annoyance bubbling from within him, and purposefully going in the opposite direction of where the Magical Girl and the Glasses Luchador were hopping off gleefully.
AN:! WTF will happen!
Notes about costumes, even though they're obvious parodies lolz:
Okita and Hijikata - dressed as they did in the Be Forever Yorozuya movie. (They're both so panty-droppingly hot in this damn movie that I had to do it sorry. Hijikata should comb his hair more please please please huff huff)
Kondou - parody of Donkey Kong; Soyo - parody of Princess Peach; Katsura - parody of Super Mario (as he looked in the Owee Arc)
Shinpachi - as a luchador; you can imagine him dressed like Ramses from Nacho Libre if you want
Otae - Sailor Moon; Kyuubei - Tuxedo Mask (Although you can kinda guess that Toujou wanted her to dress as Chibi-usa instead)
Takasugi - dressed as he did as a Joui faction member
Hasegawa - canon Takasugi cosplay :3
Nobume - Boa Hancock from One Piece (pants this would really look good on her huff huff)
Saitou - Afro Samurai (super uncreative I know sorry)
Yamazaki - Prince of Tennis parody
Gin and Kagura - Hopper and Eleven from Stranger Things Season 2. (The moment that I saw Hopper eating all those sweets I knew I had to do this.) Almost Bulma and Trunks
Bebop/Barbecue-kun (hehe you know who this guy is) - Shishio Makoto from Rurouni Kenshin (or so he claims)
Please look forward to the developments~ next two chapters had me rollin' around like an idiot trynna write 'em~ Thanks for reading!
