I See Red
Chapter 11: Red Suit


Shinpachi tried to keep himself calm as the princess finished explaining her so-called fool-proof plan to him. He knew that it wasn't anything-proof—certainly wasn't death-proof, judging by the persons involved in her plan. He told her so, not even fighting the shrill tone that his voice tended to have when he gets stressed out. "Soyo-san, I'm sure that I'd be dead before the dance is over!" he said.

Soyo shook her finger at him. "Not if you do as I say, Shinpachi-kun!"

It was the evening of the festival, and the Dance Club was hosting a Gala Night for the students. They had rushed cleaning up their classroom and went home quickly to dress up in their formal attire. Shinpachi's hand nervously went up to his bow tie as Soyo kept smiling at him, unfazed.

"Even if you say so, Soyo-san, I know how they are, there's like a 90% chance that the gym will get partially to completely destroyed. And that guy, you know he looks like he's close to treating me like he treats Hijikata-san, right? And by that I mean death threats and laxatives and mauling-"

Soyo laughed, interrupting the megane's rant. "Maybe. But this is the only way, Shinpachi-kun. I can take responsibility for property damage if it comes to that," she said sweetly. The way she looked in her white ball gown befitting an actual Disney Princess made Shinpachi feel like a peasant. "Anyway, if it doesn't work, at least you'll be able to help Kagura-chan not feel left out, right?"

"I—I guess…" His next statement was interrupted by Nobume suddenly appearing behind Soyo. She was also in a white floor-length gown, which hugged her curves rather nicely, and a white synthetic fur coat. Shinpachi felt dowdier in his suit—his coat felt too large for him, suddenly.

"Let's go," said Nobume simply, and she and the princess went inside the gymnasium. Shinpachi nervously looked around, hoping that he would be able to smoothly come inside the dance with his own date before anyone else saw.

His date of course, was the transfer student of 3Z, now drop-out of 3Z, Sakata Kagura. Earlier that day, after the Janken Pon Tourney ended with Okita being disqualified for the rest of the match and his older sister bagging the championship, Gin-san cornered him and asked him to bring his only daughter for a date. The perm-head insisted that Shinpachi was the only sane and decent boy in 3Z and he would entrust Kagura with nobody else. However, the fact that he was told to keep her away from lechers, perverts, sadists (extra emphasis on this one), masochists, aliens, time-travelers, and espers and all that suggested that Shinpachi was basically being asked to babysit her.

Speak of the devil—a scooter slowly putted its way to the outside of the gymnasium. Next to it, a giant white dog was jogging happily without a leash. It stopped in front of him, and down went a small girl in a shiny, red cocktail dress that showed off her pale shoulders and collarbones and back. She took her helmet off, and down went her shiny vermillion hair, barely even creased. She still had buns at the side of her head. She waved at Shinpachi and said something to Ginpachi-sensei, who nodded and went off to park the scooter somewhere.

She was super cute, Shinpachi acknowledged, cute enough that if he wasn't so faithful to Otsuu-chan and didn't know her personally, he would feel his breath catch at his throat and he'd stalk her in the party all night long. But he knew all about her and her potty mouth and her insane strength, which was endearing, to be sure, but not really good for a normal young boy and his self-esteem.

"Yo! Glasses! Didn't they have your size in the rental shop or something?" asked Kagura. "I thought you were planning to look extra nice 'cos the Dance Club got Otsuu-chan to perform for us."

"Don't be mean, Kagura-chan," said Shinpachi, the feeling of gloom and uneasiness forming in the pit of his stomach. It was the night he's been preparing for all his life. In his fantasies, he would walk up the stage in the middle of Otsuu-chan performing Your Mother Is An XX, and he would lift her by the waist and dance with her all night in the dance floor and maybe ask her to marry him or something.

But now that Gin-san and Soyo both gave him a handful of extra things to do, that magical dance with Otsuu-chan likely isn't going to happen. Now his priority was keeping himself alive and with his self-esteem and glasses and balls intact after the night was over. Trying not to show his nervousness, he said, "I'm still going to get that autograph and selfie no matter what, so you better not ruin this for me."

"I'm gonna go full-on wingman mode for you, Patsuan, so don't worry. I read the Bro Code and everything. Oh, by the way, this is Sadaharu. He's a chick magnet. He's gonna help you get the girl, too!"

The dog barked as if to say hi. Sadaharu wore a collar with a big red bowtie. It was cuter beyond words, even when he managed to get Shinpachi's entire head in his mouth.

"K—kagura-chan—he just chewed through my scalp—is this normal? Is he performing neurosurgery on me with his mouth?!"

"Don't be silly, glasses! He's just saying hi, uh-huh! Anyway dude, come on, we're wasting time!" Kagura gave him a big grin and dragged him by the arm inside the gymnasium. Sadaharu padded behind them.

The gym was already three-quarters full with the students of Gintama High dressed to the nines. The students of 3Z all looked like they were celebrities (… maybe except Hasegawa-san—what's with the cardboard tuxedo?), and it only served to make Shinpachi feel even more inadequate.

He went with Kagura to joke around with Aneue, and later on they helped themselves to the pizza rolls and sandwiches laid out on the snack table. As expected, a bunch of girls flocked around Sadaharu and pointedly ignored the human-wearing glasses (… wait, no), the glasses-wearing human.

From the corner of his eye, he also saw Soyo speaking with Hijikata and a polite, but aloof looking Okita. Glancing at Kagura, he saw that she was blatantly ignoring this other scene. He sighed in apprehension.

"Gintama High! You are looking beautiful tonight!" announced the class president of the dance club. "We have an exciting night waiting for you tonight, with Japan's favourite idol Otsuu-chan set to make an appearance later! But for now, let's warm up with a few mixes courtesy of DJ Ozura!"

"It's not DJ Ozura, it's Katsura!" yelled DJ Ozura. Elizabeth was behind him, hyping him up with sign boards and in eerie silence. Nevertheless, he laid out a smooth jam, and it wasn't long before the students went to the dance floor in twos.

"Wow, look at that, Patsuan," said Kagura, regarding the couples on the floor. Among the other people from the other classes, the 3Z students really stood out. Otae and a red-faced Kyuubei danced together, with the gorilla stalker failing to cut in and that obsessive blond guardian of Kyuubei's hanging around and taking a video. His fellow jimi Yamazaki managed to take the cyborg Tama-san for a dance, and the unmistakable sound of bones breaking underneath metal was heard every time she accidentally stepped on his feet. Shimaru-san and Nobume-san somehow silently agreed to dance together, but were doing so at such an insane speed that the other students dodged out of their way to avoid being run over. Sa-chan-san was at the corner of the gymnasium, begging for a dance with Ginpachi-sensei, but was kept away with a hand to her blushing, excited face as a response.

And Soyo-chan, under the jealous but grudgingly respectful gazes of the other girls, was being led by the hand to the dance floor by none other than Okita Sougo.

Shinpachi turned to Kagura, who was intently watching the floor. Her facial expression was unreadable, but that may be because the lights were so dim. He nudged her and offered his hand.

"Kagura-chan. Wanna dance?"


Kagura broke out of her daze and dumbly looked at Shinpachi's hand. "Huh? Whaddaya mean, dance? Do you even know how to dance, Shinpachi? I've seen you try to bust a move when you put your Otsuu-chan records on full blast, yup."

Shinpachi gave her an annoyed look. "You're so mean! Anyway, it's a slow dance. We just need to step side to side."

"Hm. Pass. I'll wait for Zura to play some Ill Smith so I can breakdance," she said. In truth, seeing her best friend dancing with that poker-faced punk Chihuahua made her lose interest in the dance floor, and she couldn't figure out why. She knew that Soyo was close to the boys of the Shinsengumi for a long time now, and she knew Okita as early as middle school, so they must be close friends, right? And this must be something that close friends do, without anything in between them, right? And even if there was something there, she shouldn't care at all about it, right?

So why was it that even though they looked good together, like a high-class royal couple and everything… why was it so wrong to the eyes?

"But Kagura-chan, this is a nice song," stammered Shinpachi, strangely insistent. "And it looks like they're having fun? See?" He pointed to the direction to where the Gorilla was being pummelled to the ground by Anego. Shinpachi faltered at this and adjusted his glasses. "Um, also, I promised Gin-san that you'd have a good time tonight, so…"

Upon the mention of Gin-chan, Kagura glanced to where he was standing with the other chaperones. He was speaking to Tsukuyo-sensei, who was discreetly smoking a cigarette. They were both sipping punch. They both caught her looking at them, after which they gave her a cheery wave of the hand.

From her side, she felt a cold, damp nose nudging her to the dance floor. Sadaharu looked up at her with his tongue out and his mouth in a big, toothy smile.

"… fine, Megane. But if you step on my feet, I'm beating you up, yup."

Shinpachi helped her up from the bleachers and led her by the hand to the dance floor. He positioned one hand to her waist, let her put her hand on her shoulder, and put his other clammy hand held hers. Without another word, they started dancing slowly.

Even though it was awkward, Shinpachi didn't dare step on her feet. The lights in the room swirled round and round, and the deep bass of the slow song throbbed through her chest. She looked up at Shinpachi's face, and she saw that he looked out of it, and was looking over her shoulder and over his shoulder and up the ceiling and in the direction of the bathroom.

"Oi, Shinpachi. Do you need to go to the bathroom or something?" she asked in annoyance. At that moment, DJ Ozura let the song fade out, to be replaced by a more upbeat song.

"Oh! No. Yes. Maybe. My bladder is at the edge of explosion," Shinpachi said. The sweat on his brow was obvious now, and he seemingly signalled to someone behind her.

Before she could say anything, Shinpachi's hand clamped onto her shoulders, and he whispered urgently "I'msorrythisisn'tmyideayoucankillmelater", turned her around, and tossed her away from him…

… and into someone else's arms. The strength of the toss would have sent her careening into the ground, but the one in the red suit had his strong arms instantly wrapped around her and restored her balance.

To her horror, she looked up and peered into the equally surprised red eyes of none other than Okita Sougo.

She gave a death glare to Shinpachi, who was standing beside a triumphant looking Soyo. "She's all yours, Okita-san! Please don't kill me!" he shrieked for the last time before running off with the princess.

I'm gonna crush his glasses, then his spleen, then I'll give him cataracts so he'll never see out of his glasses again, that stupid megane! she thought in rage. What were those two planning? She agreed to this stupid dance in the first place because she was supposed to have a nice, benign time with her best friends and with Shinpachi, the legendary number 8, where nothing ever happens! Now that she's back in the arms of the one guy she was avoiding the entire day, the calm that she had transformed into something warm and unpleasant, like gas, but more labile and unpredictable.

"Tsk. I knew something was up when the princess asked me to dance outta nowhere," said Okita in his usual cold voice. He blinked at her with a slightly perturbed look in his eyes. "… you okay?"

Kagura felt she was malfunctioning. She bet it had something to do with the Sadist's body spray. Did he use Mace or something? Was it laced with drugs? She kept sniffing it and sniffing it and it wasn't unpleasant and she couldn't stop herself. And maybe as a result of it, her body was frozen in place, and she had nothing to say.

"Hm. I've never seen your face so red before. I know I look good in a suit, China. This is seriously giving me an ego boost," he said with a smug, evil look. It was enough to snap her back to her senses.

"A fugly dog in a suit is still a fugly dog, yup. Lemme go, Sadist!" She finally managed to stand up on her own two feet, but wasn't able to free herself from Okita's almost-embrace. The song got everybody else jumping around them, and soon the energetic crowd was shoving both of them in multiple directions. He almost looked like he was shielding her away from the others.

"Tsk. We won't be able to walk out of here at this rate," said Okita, his hands firmly grasping the bare skin on her arms. She marvelled at how rough his fingertips were, and how close he's holding her, and how pleasantly different his face was up close. That perfume of his invaded her nostrils again, and an unfamiliar heady feeling took over her brain.

He was saying something to her again, and his red eyes centred in on her blue ones so intensely that she felt like hypnosis laser beams were shooting out of them. She wished she had her swirly eyed glasses again. When it was apparent that she couldn't hear him over the ruckus, he pulled her closer so he could speak directly in her ear.

"We got no choice. I gotta javelin-throw you off of the dance floor."

"What?! Don't you dare—" she began, but she felt his hands move from her arms down to her waist. Within seconds, she was being lifted high off of the ground with just one strong arm. She had a bird's eye view of the dance floor and everybody else's awe-stricken faces.

Before Okita could position himself to toss her away like a fuckin' javelin as he promised, someone screamed, "Aaah! They're recreating that sexy dance from Dirty Dancing! HOW ROMANTIC!"

"What the fuck do you mean, you bastard?!" To her horror, the other students cheered and made a circle around them, effectively blocking their path. The bass line of the song thrummed in her chest louder and louder, and she felt like it was about to explode. Okita, without missing a beat, put her down on the floor, grabbed her small body and leaned her back so far down that the top of her head almost touched the floor.

"… looks like we gotta dance this one off, China-girl," he said, his face uncomfortably close to hers, with that dashing—no, evil, evil, evil and fugly—smile of his.

She had an idea of how his body moved from those fights they had on the day they first met, and she was surprised that her body remembered him. He swung and maneuvered her round and round, and her hands and hips and legs automatically knew where they were supposed to be, which was at times too close for comfort. In some moments of the dance, she stomped her feet and kicked her legs way up high, but always missed him. And smoothly he made these parts of their dance, simultaneously stunning and enchanting the crowd that was watching them.

Wo ai ni… Chodai?... do you love me? Oh baby, love me too. The song ended, and she found herself face to face with her fiercest rival. They were both panting heavily, and just as the trance state they found themselves in got deeper, the cheering of the audience snapped them out of it.

She looked down and instantly blushed again. Shit. Her heart was going so fast. That can't be from just dancing.

"Tsk… this isn't good," she heard Okita mumble in front of her. "The old man's livid."

"Oh shit. Gin-chan," she said. She looked up at her dad, and livid wasn't the correct term in this case. His face was contorted into a serial killer's smile, and his eyes were practically fireballs and he was breathing fire and asphalt and he looked like he was growing horns and losing his hair and turning into a baldy shit he was so mad.

"But we're lucky. Looks like someone spiked the punch." True enough, the only thing holding the silver perm back was Tsukuyo-sensei, who was wasted beyond belief and had her elbow around his neck. She was determined to do other, possibly x-rated things with him it seemed, and she successfully dragged him kicking and screaming to the back of the gymnasium.

Kagura put a palm to her face as she watched this happening. "Sadist… he's going to disembowel you, yup. Then he's going to kill Glasses. Then he's going to ground me for life, uh-huh."

"Geez. This was bound to happen sooner or later anyway." Another slow song played, and the other kids broke off into couples and started dancing again.

Kagura felt a warm hand enclose around hers, and she looked up at him. He had a blank look of enlightenment on his face. "… anyway. I'd rather not get disemboweled tonight, so let's make a run for it."

Without warning, he ran off, dragging her with him. When she wouldn't make a run for it, he lifted her off in his arms in a princess carry against her wishes and ran out of the gymnasium, as if his life depended on it. Somewhere along the way, she heard the horrified yell of the Mayora and Glasses, the happy bark of her dog, the squeals of a bunch of girls, and other yells of either cheering or protest.

As she allowed herself to be carried off from one floor to the next, the voices faded, and it was just the two of them. At the end of the stairway, Sougo opened up the door, and a quiet, starry night greeted them.

"We should be safe here, China." He carried her out onto that rooftop, a new type of calm and quiet entering her reluctant and turbulent heart.


AN: Writing this chapter made me smile like an idiot orz
The song in question is Wo Ai Ni by Hitomi Takahashi + Beat Crusaders. I know it ain't recent but I've always thought of it as an Okikagu song maybe cos of how the official music video looked
Thank you for reading, as always. I love reading your comments and theories too~ the next chapter has so many truth bombs it might as well have been an attack by Zura against the Bakufu