Recommended background music: youtu be/0vY6y1Bm7HU or youtu be/yxwPJLNR0rA
"Mornin', luv! Whatcha doin'?"
"What's it look like?" Right now Hana was mostly regretting staying in the common room instead of returning to her room to poke at her muesli in silence while waiting for the two energy drinks she'd already downed to kick in. "What do you want, Tracer? I'm not in the mood."
"Something the matter?" Even while supposedly standing still talking to her, Tracer was slightly swaying side to side the whole time. Seriously, being this energetic at this time of the day should be illegal.
"I didn't get enough sleep, woke up with a headache, and now there's an annoying Brit pestering me."
"Oi." Tracer pouted in what probably would've passed as an adorable manner had Hana been in a better mood. "Don't be like that."
"Well, I am like that right now. Fite me." Not that she actually intended to make good on that, but Hana guessed that – without any timey-wimey hax – her CQC training would actually suffice to take on Tracer. "Do you want something or can you just leave me alone?"
"I saw your stream yesterday, and I was wondering, what was that last bit about?" Of course. Hana could dodge social media for at least a bit by just going dark and ignoring her cellphone entirely, but she should've known that evading nosy coworkers would be far harder.
"Since when do you care?"
"Just curious. 'Cause it mighty sounded like you got a whatchacallit ...significant other."
"So what? ...Hang on." Hana raised an eyebrow in a habit she'd totally not gotten from Angela. "Are you trying to hit on me?"
"I'll have you know I'm in a committed relationship with a loving girlfriend."
"Good for you. Then what do you care?"
"You wound me, luv." Tracer made a very exaggerated hurt expression. "Is a girl not allowed to be curious about her mates?"
"Not this early in the morning." Okay, it was 10:30, so maybe that was a slight stretch, but Hana wasn't much of a morning person at the best of days. "Stop bugging me."
"Aw, cheer up. She- I mean I want to-"
Of course. "Who sent you to ask me?"
"N- no one sent me! I was just-"
"I'm not dumb, Lena." Hana cut her off with a glare and the other girl shied away a little. "Who was it?"
"...Alright, sorry, it was Angie. The doc seemed kinda worried about something and she told me not to tell and I messed up and she's probably gonna be super mad at me and Igottagobye!" Tracer turned on her heel, blinking away and leaving Hana alone.
Okay... that had happened. Obviously Hana had been expecting Angela to ask her about this, but she'd planned to stall giving a proper answer for a bunch of hours more until the setup for her... confession was gonna work best. But now, depending on what Tracer was gonna tell her, Angela might get the completely wrong impression, so maybe Hana should stop trying to be fancy and just go and spit it out.
...Yeah, that was probably the better course of action. Hana finished her breakfast in record time, chasing it down with another energy drink for good measure, then returned to her room to get properly dressed and presentable before making her way to Angela's room.
…
"Hana, good morning. And good timing, too, I actually wanted to talk to you."
"Why'd you send Tracer to ask me, then?" Hana cut straight to the point, though careful not to give her voice any tone of accusation, and Angela's expression fell a little.
"You're right. I shouldn't have involved Lena in this. I'm sorry."
"Just ask."
"Hm?"
"I-I'm here now," Hana crossed her arms in front of her chest. "so, what you wanna ask?"
"As promised, I did watch you stream yesterday evening, but it's about how you ended it. You said you didn't have a significant other right now. Or was that the way to reveal them to the public?"
"Yes and no. I don't have a girlfriend right now." Come on, coward. Say it.
"Then-"
"It was you." Hana blurted out and Angela paused. "You're the one that dedication was for."
"My, I'm flattered." Angela also seemed relieved, and trying to hide the fact; was that a good or a bad sign? "Though you made it sound quite a bit as if you were referring to a girlfriend. And a lot of your fans seemed to be under that impression as well." She added and Hana shrugged.
"Guess so."
"Especially with how abruptly you ended-"
"Because it was." Hana half muttered under her breath, fidgeting with her fingers.
"Come again?"
"It sounded like it was about a girlfriend because it was supposed to be."
"But you just said-"
"Come on, doctor, you're so smart otherwise, figure it out." Hana noticed she was pulling a Tracer, talking faster and faster from nervousness, but it still beat stuttering. "I totally had my confession all planned out and stuff, but then you had to send Tracer and make me all nervous and now I'm here and I might as well say it: I like you, you know. I mean, not just like, but like, you, and I want us to be more than just friends."
Hana took a long breath, almost imagining she could hear own heart pounding, as Angela paused, the woman's face an indecipherable mixture of emotions. "Hana, that's... what are you saying?"
"I'm saying that I'm in love with you! And I... want to be ...together with you. ...So, what's your answer?" Hana added almost desperately as Angela took several seconds to process her words.
"This is... Hana, are you sure about this? I don't know if..."
"...Alright, I get it." Hana returned in a flat tone. "Sorry. I... shouldn't have said anything."
"Hana, wait!" But the girl had already turned on her heel, slamming the door behind her as she rushed down the corridor, missing Angela's next words. "...I do love you too."
...
Stupid. Stupid stupid stupid! Of all the ways to screw up. God fucking dammit. Reaching her room, Hana threw the door shut behind her and locked it, before throwing herself onto her bed amidst her pile of plushies. She should've stuck to the original plan. Or at least waited for a proper answer. But she couldn't run back to Angela right now, nor in her state, that would only end in disaster... more of a disaster. Stupid, stupid, stupid.
Clutching her old, well-loved Clefairy doll to her chest, Hana slowly managed to calm down. It wasn't like she hadn't known that rejection was a possibility too, and had in fact probably been the more likely one, and she'd kept telling herself, she'd be able to live with that too. But instead thanks to a combination of nerves and tiredness, she'd overreacted at the mere thought, panicking like a little girl talking to her crush – which in a way, she had been. Gg. Stupid impulsive girl.
...But there was little Hana could do about it now. All that was left for her was to get herself together, properly say her part, and take Angela's answer, whatever it may be. Damage control, so to say, act like an emotionally mature adult and shit. Even if Hana herself would be the first one to admit she really wasn't yet.
After texting Lúcio, asking him to deliver Angela a message to meet Hana at a certain spot outside the base at a certain time, Hana took a nice and hot, long shower to both clear her thoughts and get rid of that annoying headache, at least the latter of which succeeded. She tried to distract herself with some video games, but it was no good; her heart was so not in it, neither PvP nor PvE, and she kept playing like a total noob, so after not even half an hour, Hana turned off the console again. Returning to thinking over what she was gonna say to Angela instead, she kept rethinking it, discarding those thoughts, then thinking some more...
Hana arrived at the spot, a smallish platform pretty high up in the side of the rock, only accessible via some out-of-the-way staircase, a couple minutes early to find that, if nothing else, her choice of the time and location had been pretty spot-on, and she'd gotten seriously lucky with the weather as well. As Hana had hoped, the huge orange sun was just about to touch the horizon, bathing the sky and her surroundings in a soft light, the few feathery clouds seeming to glow from within; it was practically perfect. Here was hoping their conversation was gonna turn out anywhere near that good...
"Hana?" Pretty much right on the minute Angela stepped onto the platform, her expression unreadable as she noticed the girl. "There you are! I-"
"Hang on." Hana hurried to interrupt Angela, her hands held behind her back and clasped tight together to stop herself from fidgeting. "L-let me say my part first, then you can still shoot me down."
"That's not-"
"Please." Don't make this even harder for me. For a moment Angela still looked about to protest, but then acquiesced with a small nod and Hana took a deep breath before starting.
"I know I said this already, but I screwed up because I tried to be fancy, but I wanted this moment to be perfect and this is probably as close as it will ever get, so here goes:" Swallowing the lump in her throat, Hana reached for both of Angela's hands, holding them in front of her chest as she looked her right in the eyes, noting the woman blush a little, as she herself did too.
"Ever since we met- No, that's- ...Since that day I had that stupid nightmare and you found me in that hallway and helped me out... since the day Hana and Angela met, one could say. Whatever. Pretty much the entire time I was with Overwatch, you've been there for me, supported me when I needed you, taught me a bunch of new things, shared so many great and fun moments with me, and just... I already realised a while back that I... felt something for you I never really felt before."
"I know I'm way younger and still kind of a child compared to you sometimes, b-but this is what I feel, and even if you're gonna reject me for being a silly little girl, I at least had to tell you. I-I'm in love with you, and I would want us to be... more than friends, i-if you would too..." Hana finished, waiting for Angela's answer with bated breath.
Each second seemed to drag on for a small eternity until Angela finally answered with a warm smile. "Hana, I... I'm not sure what to say, but... Yes. A relationship like this may may be a little ...unconventional, but so is our entire situation, isn't it? And I believe I... feel the same way you do. So, yes, I would want us to be toge-" As soon as the answer had sunk in, Hana interrupted Angela by throwing her arms around her to pull her into a tight hug, and Angela swiftly returned the gesture.
Even if their hug was little different physically – if longer-lasting – from ones they'd shared in the past, somehow their ...embrace felt much more intimate than before, though maybe it was the promise of things to come it entailed, or maybe Hana's emotions were just kind of on overdrive right now. Overjoyed, of course, lovestruck perhaps even. But also a sobering amount of insecure. ...Now what? Hana had known she wanted ...this for weeks, if not months, but she'd never as much as wasted a thought on what would happen after that, what it meant for the both of them...
After holding on to Angela for a couple more seconds, Hana pulled back a little, still keeping her hands loosely around the woman's back. "Um, I... I never really thought this far ahead, so, um, what..."
"What now?" Angela finished the question with a tilt of her head. "Now we're together. A couple."
"...Girlfriends..." Hana added, a huge smile forming on her face as slowly the realisation fully set in. "Yeah. We're girlfriends now... And then for it be someone as brilliant and beautiful and amazing as you." Noting how her compliments still didn't fail to provoke a light blush from Angela, Hana briefly let go of her and turned to look over the sea and the setting sun almost entirely past the horizon by now – then jumped up pumping her fist in the air. "Hell yes!"
The gesture eliciting a beautiful laugh from Angela, Hana turned back to her with a slightly sheepish smile. "Sorry 'bout that, but I just had to... You know?"
"It's quite alright, I understand, Schatz."
"That's a new one." Hana turned back to Angela, reaching for her hand to gently intertwine their fingers. "What's that mean?"
"How to put it... Literally it translates to 'treasure', but that's not quite the point. It's used mostly to address your girlfriend or boyfriend ...significant other, regardless of gender."
"I get it. Kinda like jagiya. I think I like the sound of that." Hana grinned, but after a moment her face became more thoughtful. "And just like that we're already at new nicknames. That's- I... Angela, how much is stuff gonna change... between us?"
"Well..." Angela briefly paused to think. "Of course there's no way to know for sure, but I found that ultimately things will only truly change as much as we want and let them."
"That's ...wise. Hate to say it, but clearly you know better, so I'm gonna defer to your experience in this kinda stuff."
Angela chuckled, wrapping her free arm around Hana's waist to pull her closer. "You are allowed to lean on others sometimes, you know. And on me in particular, now more than ever."
"Yeah, guess so." Hana conceded after a moment. "And so I will. Although" She continued with a smirk. "There is one thing that I think I wanna change."
"And that would be?" Angela asked with a curious expression.
Instead of an answer Hana reached around Angela's shoulders to pull her even closer, standing on her tiptoes to press her lips onto Angela's in a clumsy kiss. After a split second's surprise, the woman's lips parted and Hana pushed into Angela's mouth, attempting to mask her lack of experience with enthusiasm as her tongue brushed against Angela's – only for a strand of hair that had gotten caught between their lips to get in the way.
Hana quickly tried to brush it to the side as Angela fully returned the kiss, but their position was ...off; still on her tiptoes, Hana had to focus to keep her balance lest she pull Angela down instead, so after a few moments Hana pulled back, letting go of Angela as she looked to the side with a both frustrated and embarrassed expression. "Aw, man, sorry, I... messed that one up. I-"
"Hana, relax." Angela interrupted her with a smile. "It's okay. But there is no need to rush either. Here, let me show you." Angela softly brushed the stray hairs from Hana face behind her ear, then cupped her chin with her other hand, gently turning the girl to face Angela, her head tilted slightly upwards, as she in turn leaned down...
Their lips met again, this time more softly, first only touching, and for a few moments Hana took in Angela's by now kind of familiar scent, before the woman parted her lips and so did Hana, letting Angela's tongue enter her mouth; carrying a faint yet distinct taste with her, Angela started playing with Hana's tongue and the girl reciprocated, first slowly, hesitantly, but quickly regaining her confidence, she pushed forward, exploring Angela's mouth in turn. Their lips interlocked, Angela pulled Hana yet closer, running her hand through the girl's hair as Hana reached up with one hand to caress Angela's cheek – yeah, just like she'd seen in some movie, yet at the same time it felt like the most natural thing.
Their kiss lasted for several seconds and Hana lost herself in Angela's embrace, her taste, her touch, her warmth, forgetting everything around her for these blissful moments until Angela finally broke off the kiss, gently pulling back but still keeping her arms around Hana as the girl opened her eyes she hadn't even noticed she'd closed.
"That was... Wow." Hana returned Angela's warm smile with a slightly dazed expression. "I love you."
"I love you too." Angela draped her arms around Hana in a soft embrace, prompting the girl to return it, leaning against her shoulder. "And however things are going to turn out, we'll deal with them, together."
"Yeah." Hana lightly rested her head against the side of Angela's neck, taking in the scent of her hair and just basking in their newfound closeness. "Together."
The title is an allusion to a couple of things (including one of the songs I linked at the top, as also seen in Neon Genesis Evangelion). There's some ninor things I could comment on, but I think I'm just gonna let the chapter speak for itself. Once more with a shoutout to my beta, bruhxism, as well as a few other people I badgered into giving me feedback on the confession/kiss scene in particular, because I really wanted to get that one right.
I suppose this is as good a time as any to say thank you to all my readers and for the feedback/nice comments I got, despite my ...spotty productivity. Yes it's a bloody cliché, but it's also true that without those I wouldn't have kept going with the story nearly as long.
And while this fic is completed, that doesn't mean I'm 'done' with the story; I have a couple of vague ideas, though I don't wanna make any promises as to the time frame. Seeing as I feel this fic is pretty self-contained as it is, they'll probably be in an entirely new one (but I'm gonna post a chapter that just says 'new fic over there' in this one so that everyone following it gets notified). On that note, I'm open to suggestions/ideas for chapters/scenes for the continuation, provided they're sufficiently interesting or original. Just comment or message me.
And if anyone is actually still reading these ramblings, since it's kinda relevant to this fic, I'm also gonna say that I'm happy with the recent (well, relatively) DVa animated short. It didn't majorly contradict anything in my story (if anything, it confirmed a few details, such as the fact that chapter 7 wasn't the first time Hana almost died), showed MEKA (which apparently isn't the name of DVa's personal mech, but I don't think I'll go and change that little bit, it'd only be confusing) in action, and gave me some more background to work with.
Also, all that stuff about feedback/criticism, thank you for reading, hope you enjoyed (I should just start copy-pasting one of these). See you in the next story.
Peace out
