Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters are the property of the author.
~AL~
Don't Cry Baby
November 1995
~AL~
I had to pick up Matthew, but unfortunately, I was stuck in the hospital for a while longer. The doctor couldn't tell us why I miscarried, but after he asked what I did for a living; he thought I might have strained myself. I walked up and down the aircraft stairs all night. I thought about that and figured the stress I had suffered lately couldn't have helped either.
Against my better judgment, I called my mother-in-law's house to let her know I'd be late to pick him up. In no uncertain terms did I want Mike or any of his family to get whiff of what happened to me. I told her that I woke up feeling really sick and had to go to the hospital.
As soon as I was released, I'd go to get Matthew. All I wanted to do was snuggle with him all afternoon.
My cellphone rang.
"Hello?" I sounded groggy.
"Hey, it's Leah. Were you sleeping?"
"No, just not feeling well. What's up?"
"Oh, well, since I had to postpone my move until next weekend, I was wondering if everyday this week on my way to work I could drop off some stuff at the house."
"Of course you can. I gave you the key and your room is all cleared out and ready for you." I cleared my throat a bit; it was too hoarse. "Go anytime. I'll be home in a bit."
"All right, sounds good. I hope you feel better."
"Bye," I said and then hung up.
I looked at Edward. "That was Leah. She's going to drop some of her stuff at the house today." He just nodded.
"They said I'd be released soon. What's taking them so long? I want to get Matthew and go home." I pouted. I was drained emotionally and physically. I was completely drained of energy and couldn't find enough to cry any longer.
"I'll drop you at home to get your car so you can pick him up then I'll go get your meds. Okay?" His eyes were so sad. I hated that I put that sadness there and that I was part of the reason he was hurting. He closed his eyes so tightly when I caressed his cheek.
"Yeah, thanks. Then I just want to sleep. Matthew's good, he'll just watch a movie and relax with me. Maybe … you can stop and get us some food, so I don't have to worry about fixing something for dinner."
He kissed my forehead. "Of course."
~AL~
Once I was home and snuggled with Matthew on the sofa so we could watch his favorite Batman movies, I was relieved. I was content to be home with my son and able to get my bearings.
So much had happened, things that were not expected. I was on the pill, and Edward used a condom. I didn't expect to fall in love so quickly. The stress I got in return for loving him wasn't what I hoped for.
Life was so full of twists and turns. The worst part was Edward and I had been through so many already. I hoped we could get through them all and survive.
~AL~
I didn't have to go back to work until Wednesday, which was good because I needed the rest. Matthew and I lounged, and Edward stopped by briefly on Tuesday to feed us and say hello.
He was being very attentive and sweet. I wondered how long that behavior was going to last. Always the pessimist.
Leah had dropped off more boxes. We were getting ready for her to move her bed and dresser in on Saturday. Even though the purpose of her moving in was to help me with the rent, I was excited to have someone here with us.
I would have never thought about asking Edward. It was too soon and with the way things had been going … I wasn't going to put myself in that situation.
Thanksgiving was the next day, and Matthew and I were going to my dad's house. His wife was cooking dinner this year, and although we got along well, she was very meticulous and proper. I had to keep Matthew practically tied to my side because their house was like a show home. If Matthew moved the wrong way, he was prone to break something, and all hell would break loose.
So, we had to sit like statues and pretend we were enjoying ourselves. I'd have rather been with Edward. Although he told me his mom didn't cook Thanksgiving dinner since they didn't really celebrate it. I'd have to change that next year.
I was still cramping, extremely emotional, and I knew that if Sue, my dad's wife, said something that rubbed me the wrong way, I'd snap. So, I had to mentally prepare for that.
~AL~
Matthew and I arrived at my dad's house at one o'clock. I had a Costco-made pumpkin pie in one hand and some eggnog in the other.
"Come on, buddy. Stay close to Momma," I told Matthew. We made it down the walkway without falling or dropping anything, and I asked Matthew to ring the doorbell.
The door swung open, and my dad stood there with the cheesiest grin on his face. He loved us so much but especially Matthew. He was his little man, and they had the best relationship.
"Hey, guys! You're here! I'm so glad." He bent down to scoop up Matthew and squeezed him tight.
He reached over, kissed me on the cheek, and gave me a half hug since he had his little man in his arms.
"Hi, Dad. How are you?" I stepped inside and gestured with my full hands toward the kitchen. "How's Sue today? I'm tired and not feeling well, so I hope she doesn't give me too much shit."
He shook his head at my directness. "She's excited to have you guys here."
Nodding, I walked to place the goodies in the kitchen and to say hi to my stepmother.
"Hi, Sue." Once I freed my hands, I gave her a hug.
"Oh, I'm so glad you're here. Where's our little boy?" She wiped her hands on her apron and walked past me craning her neck.
"There you are, Matthew. Come say hi to Nana." He went straight to her and hugged her tight around the neck. Besides her uptightness, she was good with him.
"So, what can I help you with?" I asked to be polite, although I really didn't want to do anything.
"Nothing. Everything's done and cooking, and we can relax until it's ready." Sue sat down next to me with my baby still in her arms.
"Hey, Sue, can you keep an eye on Matthew while I take Bella upstairs to show her something?" Charlie asked.
"Sure, go ahead. Do you want some wine or a beer before you go?"
A beer did sound good. "Sure, I'll take a beer."
With my Newcastle in hand and my dad trailing behind me with his glass of wine, we walked upstairs to his makeshift office.
The room was small and housed a small desk, sofa bed, and small bookshelves lining the walls. It was cozy but dark.
I curled up on the sofa, sipped my beer, and tried to relax. "So, what's up, Dad?"
With his stern face, which may be intimidating to most, but not me, he began to lecture me.
"Mike called me and told me everything. How could you?"
I scoffed, because knowing Mike, he would have told him a big fish story full of lies. "Please be so kind to share with the class what your son-in-law has told you."
"Don't be a smart ass Bel–" I stood up.
"Don't treat me like a child. You have no idea what has gone on in my house for the past two years. I've done a great job taking care of my son and have busted my ass to support us. You have no right to get involved." I stood in his face, mad as hell that he would take Mike's side instead of asking me my side first. Not as if it's any of his business anyway. "I feel completely betrayed that you have started this conversation in this manner, Dad. Seriously? You're my father; there should be a loyalty there."
He held up his hand in an attempt to calm down me down. "Listen, Bells. It's just that he called me crying and said that you left him because you were seeing someone else."
"And you'd just believe him without asking me my side first." I shook my head in disgust. "And yes, for the record, I am sort of seeing someone else now. But that has nothing to do with Mike. Mike and I were done two years ago, and I will not bad mouth him to you or anyone else. He's still the father of my child, and even though I may not like him very much, I will not say things to turn anyone against him. So just stay out of it."
As I began to walk away, he grabbed my arm. "Wait. Who's this guy?"
Sighing in frustration, I turned back to look at him. "It's too new. I'll let you know when it's something more official." My dad's always been a nosey person, and I hate that Mike got to him. "Look, if Mike calls you again whining about me, tell him you can't talk to him about it or me. He has his own friends and family. I don't need him putting shit into your heads against me. He obviously has no problem talking about me, but I won't do the same." That line of conversation was done, so I jerked my head toward the door to leave.
There was a little atrium off the kitchen. With the open floor plan and windows for walls, it was a nice sitting room. I found Matthew dancing in there with Sue. It was adorable.
The beat of the music was fast, and I clapped to the rhythm. Matthew spotted me and added in an extra booty bounce for my benefit. His hands were clapping and waving around while he bounced and stomped. As soon as the song ended, he ran right to me and wrapped his arms around my legs.
Lifting him up, I smothered his face in kisses. "You dance so well, Matthew. I love it!" With a tight squeeze, I took us to sit down.
Sitting at the table for dinner was an awkward affair. There was tension between my father and me while Sue acted all Emily Post.
The smell of the turkey was intoxicating. I loved Thanksgiving food, all of it, and I wasn't going to let their weirdness ruin my dinner.
After a few more beers and tons of food, I was full and tired. I wanted to go home and crawl in bed. I wanted to wrap myself in my blankets and snuggle with Matthew. That's pretty much all I wanted to do lately.
Although, I was pretty good at compartmentalizing thing and pulling them out when I could actually deal with them, I hadn't dealt with the miscarriage yet. It happened, and I had responsibilities to keep me going. I had my little man that depended on me, and I couldn't shut down. So, I cried and slept for security, but I couldn't check out completely.
The physical pain was the only constant reminder of what happened, and that would soon be gone. I'd be left with nothing but memories, and I was sure those would fade too.
Matthew ate a slice of pumpkin pie by himself while I had my own with a cup of coffee. We had stayed long enough, and I wanted to go. Once he took the last bite, I stood to gather our belongings.
"Dad, Sue, we're going to go now. I'm really tired, and I work tomorrow, so I need to sleep."
In a flurry, Sue stood and ran to the kitchen. She came back with a grocery bag full of Tupperware with leftovers. "Bella, here take this. You'll have dinner for the next few days now." And she shoved the bag into my hands.
I chuckled at her exuberance. "Thanks, Sue. I appreciate it, and it will help a great deal." I gave her a kiss on the cheek and said a half-assed bye to my dad, and we left.
Once we were buckled up in my car, I sighed in relief. The day almost passed without incident … almost.
~AL~
Once we were at home and all set for bed, Matthew and I climbed under the warm covers and snuggled while watching one of his favorite movies.
Edward had called me a few times, but I didn't answer since I was busy at my dad's house. I needed to hear his voice though.
I reached for the phone and dialed. It rang and rang until I was asked to leave a message. "Hey, it's me. Call me back when you can. I'm at home now. Te quiero mucho."
I dozed off and found myself dreaming. I had a flash of me telling Mike off for talking shit about me to my dad. Then there was another flash, one of me crying in Edward's arms. Then the last flash was of me crying over the baby I'd never hold–never know. All those tears of loss, love, and finally, tears to help mend the damage.
~AL~
My phone was ringing. It took me a while to realize it through the fog of sleep.
"Hello?" My voice sounded raspy.
"Hola amorcito. Como te sientes ahorra?" Edward asked.
"Good morning. I'm okay. Actually, I'm not really sure. I just woke up and feel achy and tired still." I cleared my throat. "How are you this morning?"
He made a sound from deep in his throat, like a dismissive sound. "I'm okay. I miss you. I was working a flight last night when you called and when I was done, it was too late to call you back."
"That's okay. I fell asleep right after I called you." I yawned.
"I'm picking up breakfast for you guys, and I'll be over soon. So, get up! Te veo pronto."
I said bye and snuggled back into my pillow. I closed my eyes for a few minutes until I felt little fingers poking my eyelids. A big smile spread across my face and without opening my eyes, I reached for my little monkey and hugged him to me.
"Morning, baby." I kissed his head and inhaled his sweet scent.
"Mama, I hungry," my adorable baby said as he hooked his thumb in my mouth.
I pretended to chew on it. "Nom, nom, nom. Hmmm … so good." He snatched it back, and I laughed at him.
"Mmmm, that was so good, Matthew. I want more."
He screeched, "No!" He guarded his thumbs inside his tiny fists.
"Okay, okay. Let's get up now."
I heard the knock on the screen door just when we finished getting ready. Matthew followed me to the door, and I peeked out the window to make sure it was Edward before I opened it. I didn't feel like a run in with Mike, so I wanted to be sure.
I swung the door open, and there was Edward with his hands full. On one arm, he had a bag full of food, and in the other arm, he was hugging a vase full of sunflowers.
"Let me help you with that. They're so beautiful." I helped him with the vase and I set it on the table in the kitchen. The flowers were so big and beautiful, just the thing to cheer me up.
The kitchen filled with the scent of bacon, eggs, and Edward's fresh scent. He was next to me opening the boxes of food for each of us. I took the opportunity, leaned in, and bit him on the crook of his neck.
"Ah, what was that for?" His hand covered that spot quickly.
"Era de cariño." I giggled. It was a love bite. He wasn't buying it and shook his head in disbelief.
I made us a pot of coffee while I watched Edward and Matthew. They were too cute. Edward was great with him. He knew there were boundaries. He didn't want to replace Mike in anyway. He just wanted a harmonious relationship with Matthew without trying to play a daddy role.
"Hey, Matthew, come here. Look what I got you," said Edward. Matthew stood on his tippy toes and peeked on the table where Edward opened a box. Inside the box was a pancake in the shape of Mickey Mouse's head.
Matthew was so excited and began bouncing on the balls of his feet. He chanted, "Yes, yes, yes."
"Como se dice?" His dark eyes looked up at me wide and full of excitement.
He looked at Edward as he climbed on the chair. "Thank you."
"You're welcome, buddy."
I squeezed Edward's hand on the table in appreciation for his thoughtfulness. "Thank you, really. This is very nice, and the flowers are beautiful."
He reached over and pecked me on the lips, and they tasted salty from the bacon he just ate. "Mmmm. You taste good." I licked my lips and smiled up at him.
I asked Edward, "Do you work tonight?" He nodded, as his mouth was full.
"Me too. But I think I'm going to take Matthew to the park for a while to run around before I take him to his dad's." He nodded again.
Breakfast was delicious, and I was very happy that he did this for us. I needed the attention, and his actions reminded me of one of the many reasons I loved him so much.
Once he swallowed he began, "I need to get an oil change. I'll see you at work later, and we'll get dinner, okay?"
After we finished our meal and cleaned up the kitchen, Matthew ran off to play while I said bye to Edward. We hugged each other so tight while we rocked back and forth. He kissed my head, cupped my cheeks, and then kissed my lips. It wasn't a sexual driven kiss; it was more of a sensual, loving kiss.
~AL~
After the park, Matthew was officially worn out. I had to take him to Mike's and then head to work. In the short block to his house, Matthew fell asleep in the car.
I pulled in the driveway and carefully removed him from his car seat as to not wake him up. He stirred a bit, but then fell heavily on my shoulder.
I knocked on the door, and my mother-in-law answered. "Hi, he's sleeping. We went to the park." She nodded and slowly pried him from me to carry him off to her bed.
As I was walking back to my car Mike came out of the garage. "Hey, where you going?"
I opened my car door and yelled back, "To work."
He walked the few feet to the front of my car and just stood there staring at me. I looked at my watch to see how much time I had before I had to be at work. I had forty-five minutes and only needed fifteen to make it. I was good.
"What are up to calling my dad and feeding him lies about me?"
"I didn't feed him lies, I told him the truth."
I scoffed. "Please, seriously, Mike. Do you think we had a healthy relationship for the past two years? You've slept on the couch. We barely spoke. You spent all your free time with your friends at their jobs instead of looking for one yourself. I supported our family. Not you! And that call to my dad just showed how immature you still are."
"You just think you're too good. You're a stuck up bitch."
"Ugh, please! Spare me the insults. I actually take that as a compliment. And when your son is old enough to understand your ridiculous words, he's going to hate you for talking about me like that. So keep it up. As much as I dislike you, I will not speak about you in a negative way to our son or my family. You should do the same," I spat.
I hopped in my car, vibrating from the anger flowing through me. I slammed the door and rolled down the window. "And you should consider getting a job."
I drove to work pissed off that he took his faults and reflected them on to me. I wasn't perfect, that was for sure, but at least I wasn't a lazy leech either.
With all the windows open and the sun shining through the sunroof, I let the smell of freshly cut grass and the crisp ocean relax me. I didn't want to go to work all pissed off. I had faced enough bullshit this week to last me a lifetime. I was done.
As soon as I walked into my office, Leah's face lit up. "Hey, you're here! How are you?"
"I'm good. I was sick all week, but I'm better." I nodded to look more convincing.
Edward and decided we weren't going to tell anyone about the miscarriage. Yes, it was painful, emotionally and physically, but there was no need to seek attention for it. We didn't even know I was pregnant so it wasn't like others knew and would be upset about it. We just wanted that one thing for us.
"Good. You look better."
"Yeah, thanks. So you didn't come by today before work."
"No, I dropped off all of the small things, and tomorrow I'll deliver the bigger items. If it's still okay?"
"Of course, I can't wait until you're in." I sighed. "You know, I need a night out. We should hit the bar tonight. We haven't been in a while. Oh and wait until Edward tells you about the ghost we have at the house." I laughed. I was serious, but remembering Edward's reaction to her was hilarious.
"Shut up!" She laughed with me.
"No, I'm serious. I've noticed things moving over the years and lights turning on and off, stuff like that. I've never seen her, but ask Edward later. He saw her." I continued to chuckle a bit.
"Seriously?" she asked and I nodded.
"You're not afraid, are you?"
She shook her head back and forth. "No … at least I don't think I am."
Edward walked in at that moment, and we both busted up laughing.
He just stood there, all cool and confident, with his sexy smile. The smell of jet fuel wafted in behind him, and his hair was a bit windblown from the jet blast. He was sexy as hell.
"Are you guys laughing at me?"
I snickered. "No, babe. Oh! Leah and I want to go out for drinks tonight. We haven't gone in a long time. So can you tell everyone to meet us after work?"
"Yeah, sure."
~AL~
Alice and Rose were the first to arrive after Leah and I. I hugged them both fiercely. They didn't work today but still wanted to come out for drinks with us. Emmett and Jasper did work, so they were probably on their way.
"I haven't seen or talked to you two in a few days. I've missed you."
Rose gave me the bitch brow. "I heard you were sick, and I'm pissed you didn't call us to ask for help."
I sighed. "Don't be. I was so sick and didn't really need anything. Plus, I'm not the type that needs to be babied when I'm sick." I watched her face relax a bit.
"So, you've been spending a lot of time with my brother, I hear." Alice said.
"Shh, be quiet." I waved my hand to shush her.
"Ha! You think everyone doesn't know already. Please, Bella. People are not blind."
"Well, they can think what they want, but I'm not confirming anything." I shoulder checked her, which made her laugh and smack my ass. "Hey." I laughed.
Since we hadn't been to the bar lately and had been partying at Peter's house, instead we hadn't been able to get everyone together. The only people that went to Peter's were our small group. So, because of that, we hadn't really gotten together with a lot of our friends in a while. However, on that night, everyone was there.
When I looked around to see who was there, I noticed Alec and Leah sitting very close in the booth talking. Oh, maybe a new pairing. That made me smile because Alec was such a nice guy, and it seemed like Leah was a great girl.
Edward was standing behind me with his back to me. He was talking bike riding with Jasper and Emmett. Every once in a while, I'd feel his hand skim my ass. It sent tingles up my spine and left a trail of heat where he touched me.
I wanted so badly to just hug him to me and snuggle in bed. I wanted the intimacy, but I couldn't be close enough to him; it was as if I wanted to burrow into his skin.
After I drank a few beers and caught up with everyone, I decided I wanted to go.
"Stay with me tonight at my house. Peter's not come home tonight. I think he's staying with his girlfriend this weekend," Edward whispered in my ear, and I nodded.
When we got to Edward's place, we went straight to his room. I was still bleeding pretty heavily and sex was a no go, but I was looking forward to being in his arms.
I went to the restroom, washed up, and put on some of Edward's clothes he let me borrow. When I went back to his room, he was laying on his bed, propped against the headboard on his pillows with his hands behind his head. He had a white t-shirt and sleep pants on. His long torso and legs covered the length of the bed. His hair was a mess, most likely from putting on his shirt. Regardless, he was gorgeous, and he was home.
I climbed on the bed and went straight under the covers. The bed was warm and cozy with the big, black down comforter he had. He was gazing at me with his sparkly green eyes.
I felt a million times less than sexy, but the way he looked at me was uplifting. He rolled to his side and reached for me. "Come here, baby. Let me hold you." I turned to face him, and when he got under the covers, I burrowed in his chest.
I inhaled his scent and caught the smell of fabric softener in his shirt. I felt his chest flutter with laughter. "Are you smelling me?"
I looked up, and his greens were looking down at me. I tickled his chest with my chin and said, "You smell so yummy. Even your clothes smell good."
His hand caressed my hair, and he leaned down to run his nose along my cheek. I weaved my legs between his and held on to his sides tightly. That was it, the closeness I yearned for.
Our lips touched, and we molded as one. The kiss was sensual and full of the love we shared. The emotions running through us were too strong, and it scared me. I pulled back to breathe and rested my forehead on his chin. While we gasped for breath, I calmed myself. I had never felt anything that intense before.
"I love you," I said.
With a kiss to my forehead, he said, "I love you, too, with everything I am."
~AL~
Thanks to PTB (Project Team Beta) for their wonderful beta skills.
A huge thanks to everyone who voted for At Last at The Lemonade Stand. We did it! We made one of the Top 5 Fics of the Week. A HUGE thanks to Mid Night-Cougar for nominating my story.
Thanks to all of my new followers, readers, and reviewers! I love hearing from you all! Thanks for reading! ;)
