Let The Ricks Fall Where They May
Written by Kat_Aclysm
Rated: - T for language
Disclaimers + Copyrights: Rick and Morty is an Adult Swim cartoon by Justin Roiland and Dan Harmon. This is unofficial fanfiction. Please support the official release.
NOTE: FINALLY got this done, OH MY GOD (thanks for bearing with me so long!). This chapter took far too long because of how plot-heavy it is and how much is being wound up. Write time for the next couple should be faster. Please note that this chapter contains descriptions of graphic violence and explosions, but you kinda knew it was coming, didn't you? As always, reviews (and even constructive criticism) are loved! You can drop me questions any time on my Tumblr at RickAndMortyByKat :)
Also, check out the original publish date. This sucker is nearly a year old. :P
Chapter 27 – Bropocalypse
December 2nd, 6:15pm , Local Ship Time, 2001
Unnamed Nebula, Space
'Verdant Harbinger'
(currently jammed inside a bigger ship whose name is unknown)
Dimension Q-316
Back in the terminal hub, Rick was deep in thought as he pored over specification papers and a large unfurled roll containing the ship's layout, while Ricktus tended to Surgeon Rick's plasma burn. The sound of repeated hammering on the ship's armor plating was distant but unmistakable; the Gromflomites were working desperately to break through to the inside.
"There are four components to a bomb," Rick's voice was flat and like that of a teacher having to explain a simple concept to a small child. "You already have the explosives, so you're good there. All you need is a power supply, a detonator to trigger the explosion, and some kind of remote activation device. All of that shit can either be found or made in your electronics lab, so-"
"Stay still," Ricktus held his assistant down by his left shoulder while he applied a liberal amount of burn ointment to his right. "I've treated children who were more tolerant than you."
"It hurts, OK?!" Surgeon Rick sharply reminded him. "It feels like my whole back is on fire!"
"Do you think it's going to hurt less if you keep moving around?" Ricktus's tone was vaguely grumpy, but he persisted until he'd finished up. "I'd offer you some pain relief but you probably have something better hidden away, don't you?"
Surgeon Rick turned his head off to the side and his reply was little more than an unintelligible mutter.
"Ugh, shut up and pay attention! Do you think I'm going to let you sit there while I do everything?" Rick growled at both of them. "You told me you wanted to learn how to make bombs, so today is your lucky day. I-it's not even like it's difficult, I mean, Morty could probably learn this stuff by his fourth birthday." His gaze drifted along the long reel of paper he had been busy looking at and he tapped a finger on the lower half. "That's a big-ass cargo hold. You said this was a mining ship, right?"
"Y-yeah," Surgeon Rick barely tolerated the bandaging process, but sat through it with both hands gripped tight on his knees. "Don't know what's there... n-never had a reason to go near it..."
Rick's gaze turned into a glare that he fixed on the doctor. "Well? What's down there? No more secrets and no more classified bullshit."
"If I knew, I would tell you." Ricktus did not look up and tore a strip of medical tape off the roll he was holding. "The truth is, I've never had a reason to go there either. We only really use the oxygenated areas of the ship to live and work in. If there is something of value stored there, it's most likely some kind of resource that can be used as fuel or exchanged for money." He carefully smoothed the tape down over his assistant's bandages and ripped off another piece.
"Yeah, no shit!" Rick barked at him. "Thanks for reminding me why people mine stuff!"
Fleur's antennae flicked high over her head as she listened to the exchange; she didn't understand why they were acting so strangely and wanted to help. Without warning, she jumped up and landed on Rick's desk to look at the ship's layout for herself.
"H-hey!" Rick growled. "Get off that, I'm working here!"
The insect completely ignored him and bobbed her head up and down, trying to make sense of the picture before her, though it didn't take her long to work out what she was looking at. "Brood grows here. Workers mature and then join the rest of the hive."
"See, I don't get that," Ricktus gave Surgeon Rick a singular pat on the back to indicate that he was done with him, then moved towards her. "There's thousands of you, yet you told me you don't have a queen and there's no way you could've created a viable gene pool from only half a dozen live specimens. Where are all the babies coming from, Fleur?"
"Brooder cells," the insect happily responded as she sat down on top of the ship documentation. "When there is need of more siblings, we grow them in the same way you did, maker."
"Wait..." the doctor was silent as he comprehended her statement. "THAT'S why you won't let me near my own cloning tanks!? Can't you share? I'd only need one, and maybe for a few days at most."
"Yeah, right... do you think we have 'a few days' here? Why is this more important than what we're supposed to be doing?" Rick growled in irritation and shoved the bee off his paperwork. "Fuck off already!"
The insect wasn't in the least bit fazed by the aggressive treatment. "Brooder cells belong to the hive."
"Shut up, Rick! This is important to me!" Ricktus snapped at him before returning his attention back towards his pet insect. "Need I remind you that this is MY ship and that everything in it is mine?" He was nearly yelling now. "All of you belong to me! I made all of you. I'm practically your father!"
"You left us to fend for ourselves," the collar chirped. "After the fire and gas killed the food for us, we only continued what you started."
"Shit... I can barely make sense of this, but I'd like to spend more time sitting down and talking about it with you." Ricktus sank into one of the chairs closest to Rick's table. "If we get out of this one alive, I want to broker some kind of agreement to get back into the cloning facility. You can have the whole ship after I get what I need..."
"No," the insect's posture became rigid. "We already own it. You will never get near them again."
"Why...?" The doctor was suddenly a mix of suspicion and anger.
As Fleur stood on the edge of the table, her expressionless unblinking eyes stared hard at him and she raised her scythe claws up in a threatening defensive display. "We know what you did to our predecessors. If you make my species obsolete, will you put us down too? Why do you make life just to kill it?"
Well, that's a loaded question if ever I heard one... you too, huh? Are you all plotting against me!?" Ricktus reared his head back. "If you still want to know why I created you, it certainly wasn't to kill you, Fleur. But if it's any consolidation, it doesn't even matter. Everything only exists to die and nothing means anything, not even me. If you think you're pointless, well... welcome to the club. We all are."
The insect lowered her claws again as the crushing statement hit her. "...what do I do now?"
"Whatever you want," Ricktus replied matter-of-factly. "It literally doesn't matter."
"Oh god, not this shit again," Surgeon Rick groaned as he pulled the top half of his scrubs back over his head. "You DO realize that your set of choices made up the reality of your universe, right?"
Rick's gaze shifted to each one to as they spoke, and then he yanked the roll of paper out from under the insect. "None of you have time to discuss this!" He stepped away from the table and motioned for them to follow. "C'mon, we gotta get outta here. You don't want your new friends to catch us standing around like this."
The comment put Ricktus's mind back on track and he nodded once in agreement. "Right," he stood up again. "Where are we going?"
"Great... you really ARE gonna make me do everything, aren't you?" Rick rolled his eyes. "If you were actually paying attention to what I was saying before, then you would have learned that we gotta make a detonator. I hope you know how to use a soldering iron. I also suggest sticking together because you have the only working portal gun." He scowled back at the doctor. "I hope it was worth depriving me of mine. So much for that lesson about never going anywhere without it, right?"
"Not a good time, Rick..." Ricktus placed a hand on his forehead and groaned.
"Yeah, you're telling me!" Rick spat back. "Fucking moron! I-it's like you don't have any foresight at all. Things would have been SO much better if you'd just listened to me back in that alleyway. You still think I murdered that Rick, don't you?"
It wasn't something the doctor wanted to answer, but then he didn't have to; there were three muffled explosions in quick succession. When the deep rumble resounded through the ship shortly after them, it was clear that the Gromflomites had finally breached the hull.
"Well, shit..." Rick sounded genuinely concerned. "That's... gonna make things complicated. You might be better off working a plasma gun instead."
"Now that," Ricktus smirked suddenly; in a strange way he was glad for the distraction, "I can do."
"Good to hear you're not completely fucking useless." Rick muttered as he made his way into the corridor, suddenly feeling far less confident than he had been before; whatever he did, he would have to work quickly. Crazy ideas were tumbling together in his mind and he wasn't even sure he could pull them off, but he had little other choice but to go with what he knew - making it up as he went along and hoping for the best.
On route to the electronics lab, the group passed by the portal hub or at least what was left of it; the back half of the corridor had been so badly crumpled in the last attack that it was barely recognizable. The machine itself lay crushed and bent where it had fallen with broken pieces haphazardly scattered across the warped metal floor.
"Huh... well that explains why the Citadel guards never arrived." Ricktus sounded vaguely bothered by the discovery. "We can't even call for backup now."
Rick moved into the sparking wreckage with a screwdriver in hand and took apart the remains of the portal hub. Once he'd ripped out the plasma core, he made his way back out and continued along as if nothing had happened at all.
"Yo! Good thinking, bro," Surgeon Rick called out behind him. "You gonna blow that up too?"
"Yeah, but," Rick paused to scowl at him, "I'm doing your job for you. As much as I hate your stupid Council, they make a very compelling argument. I don't particularly want the Gromflomites to fuck the multiverse over either, i-it's bad for all of us. Is there any other multidimensional tech on board I should know about?"
"Only Rick D-491's portal gun." Ricktus sourly responded; its unknown whereabouts still greatly troubled him.
Rick turned his head back to give him a moment of silent regard, but the far off noises of gunfire and alien screams reminded him that their destination was far more important. "If we're smart about how we set this thing off, you'll never have to worry about it again."
"I'm still not OK with you blowing up my ship." The doctor took a deep breath and thrust his hands into his pockets.
"Yeah?" The grumpy undertone briefly left the scientist's voice. "I doubt I would be either."
Up ahead, a group of bees silently stalked in an organized pack. The leader stopped taste the air with her proboscis, then four came up from her rear to take out a Gromflomite assassin that had been hiding in the corridor. It was executed with such swiftness that it didn't make a sound as it died.
"Geez, these guys really aren't wasting any time," Rick's voice was quiet as he announced his observations. "If I didn't want them to die so bad, I'd have suggested running away a long time ago."
"Why do you even care?" Although the question was a serious one, the doctor managed to speak it as if it were an insult. "This isn't your dimension or your battle to fight, or even your problem to deal with!"
"You think I give a shit about that?" There was a bitter edge to the scientist's question. "These fuckers need to die no matter where they are!"
No more was spoken but the rest of the trip certainly wasn't made in silence; the invading Gromflomites made their presence known as the fight drew ever closer. Although they were tenacious fighters and quick to infiltrate the corridors, the bees knew their own territory better and the close quarters put them at a serious advantage.
In the electronics lab, the situation was far more heated. Armored drones tore down box after box down from shelves as they ransacked and scoured the room. They appeared to be so desperate in their search that Rick could only draw one probable conclusion – they were looking for the 'deadly weapon' they had wanted so badly. They were so preoccupied with it that they were willingly letting themselves be stung and killed by the hive and where one fell, another simply continued on in its place.
A superior grin grew across his face as he made his way across to one of the workbenches; they literally had no idea what the 'weapon' was.
He would make them suffer for that oversight.
In almost no time at all, the scientist had gathered up the tools and components he needed from the mess all around him and was busy fabricating the remote activation device to the backdrop of gunfire and insect screams. The other two Ricks seemed to have forgotten all about their bomb making lesson and joined in the skirmish, adding to the cacophony with their own plasma guns and taunts. While Rick wasn't particularly impressed about it, they were keeping the Gromflomites off his back so he wasn't about to stop them either.
When a couple of stray shots sailed directly over his head, he retreated under the table and worked faster, though what he was throwing together now was literally screwing around and pulling it out of his head. Rick had always been an innovative thinker who survived on impulse and creative solutions and now was no different. However, working in the middle of a firefight was new, even for him.
The remote activation device was a total rush job and he knew it, though it would soon prove to be one of the worst things he would ever make.
"Chew on THAT, motherfucker!"
"Suck it, douchebags!"
"Lick, lick, lick my balls!"
Rick couldn't even discern who was who; no matter how incompetent or 'lesser' the other Ricks had demonstrated themselves to be, they were still behaving with the same sadistic joy as he did when faced with the opportunity to murder something that deserved it.
He couldn't help but grin at the thought.
The detonator was finished shortly afterwards, but it was made with far more care than the device before it. By the time he was ready to come out from his hiding place, the floor of the electronics lab was littered with the bodies of drones and bees alike. Although the fight was still ongoing, some of the surviving hive members had retreated out of the way to glue the wounded back together with regurgitated syrup and their curled sticky tongues. Some had missing limbs and others had been torn apart, while the worst of them had gaping wounds in their head carapaces. One was so badly injured that its brain was exposed, but it didn't seem to care.
"It's done," Rick announced as he held up both half-assed projects still warm from the soldering process. "All you gotta do now is install this baby in the ship's reactor and it'll trigger a chain reaction explosion." He nodded to the detonator, and then at the remote device. "There's a thirty second delay timer display on this one to give you time to escape. I definitely do NOT advise being on the ship when it all goes off unless you have a death wish."
"No comment," Surgeon Rick playfully jeered back with a grin. He was about to say more, but instead turned away to shoot at a pair of stray Gromflomite drones that were scaling a shelf near his position. "So, nuking the reactor, huh? Yeah, I see where you're going with that but how are you gonna get in there? Is it safe to breathe in?"
"Only one way to find out," Rick took out his datapad to access the information, but his expression turned to a deep scowl. "It's fucking classified... w-why is everything so damn locked down!?"
"You complain about it now, but it might buy you more time." Ricktus fired three shots across the room as he made his way towards the scientist, then handed over his own datapad. "Shut up and take this. I'd ask you not to read my personal information, but you already have, so... whatever, I don't care."
Rick wasted no time accessing what he needed on the new device. "Well, the reactor room is on the oxygen safe list, but..." He narrowed his eyes in thought. "How long ago was this updated? What if we turn up and encounter more of that metabolic air contamination bullshit? I say we take in those glass domes and oxygen packs like we did before."
"Bad idea," Ricktus immediately countered. "Even if the security measures do stall the Gromflomites, it's safe to assume they'll be everywhere soon enough... they're not stupid, either. I can guarantee you they'll target our breathing equipment the second they spot us. If the atmosphere in the reactor does turn out to be toxic, you'll die the second your containment bulb is shattered. It's not worth the risk."
Rick's brow creased; it certainly wasn't something he could argue with.
"Don't let it stop you," the other reluctantly continued; he was still coming to terms with the fact he was likely going to lose everything. "If you get down there and it's unsafe, then just ask the hive to install the detonator for you. All they would need is a few simple instructions."
"I wouldn't know where to put it," Rick admitted, "I need time to look at the layout."
Ricktus snorted with dry laughter. "You really ARE pulling this out of your ass, aren't you?"
"Yep," the scientist's reply was instant; he had no problem with openly admitting to it. He gave Surgeon Rick a quick glance, and then his eyes were back on the datapad. "You doing OK over there?"
"Yeah, bro!" Surgeon Rick immediately motioned with a thumb up and there was an obvious gleam of happiness in his eyes. "I mean it still hurts, but this is awesome! I get to kill as much shit as I want. This the most fun I've had in ages!"
"Good to hear. There's hope for you yet..." Rick mumbled as he scoured over a digital copy of the ship's map, his mind back in deep thought; he still hadn't formulated a proper plan to remotely activate the explosion just yet, but dropping the detonator into the reactor was one step he wouldn't be able to bypass. No matter what he did, he knew he wouldn't be able to leave the dimension until he was absolutely certain that the chain reaction had been started.
As he watched the other Ricks from the corner of his eye, he realized that he might actually need their help on this one.
"What the hell are they doing?"
It was what Morty would have been thinking if his brain operated in words. He'd barely settled from another round of crying about not getting what he wanted and now the weird orange furry creature was flailing around in front of him, while the taller one silently stood nearby. Although they managed to distract him, he still found their behavior concerning, almost alarming to witness.
When the short one took a tentative step towards him, he reflexively retreated; although he was wet and hungry, neither issues were pressing enough for him to demand attention from either of them. When the feathery one reached out towards him, his response was a loud shriek of alarm and he scooted under the couch to hide.
"Squanchin' hell!" He heard the scratchy voice somewhere nearby. "I can't endure any more of this bullshit! Frightened humans must be even worse than squanch cubs. When do they like, get over it, squanch up and get smart?"
"I am not sure," the sound of a calm deep voice replied, "I knew very little about Rick and his species to begin with because he was reluctant to talk about himself whenever the opportunity arose, but however little we know, it seems that waiting for him to adapt to us is the most reliable thing to do."
"Screw that... get rid of it! Would that weird lady take him?"
"My neighbor? It would not do to thrust the problem onto her. I know that Rick suggested using her help, but he ultimately entrusted Morty to us."
The shorter creature made a loud hiss. "And ya' don't think her help is needed now? Put that damn thing out of its misery or get rid of it, 'cause if I have to listen to any more of its goddamn screaming, I'm gonna squanch myself!"
"Do not do anything drastic, Squanchy. You will also regret harming Morty on the grounds that he is an inconvenience to you." The other voice became slightly less calm. "I will go alert my neighbor to his plight because I cannot allow this to continue, but I feel that some understanding is required on your behalf. He has been deprived of his grandfather and is grieving over his loss. You would do well to sympathize with that."
"Yeah, yeah, yeah..." Although the word existed in the youngster's vocabulary, he did not understand why it was being used so grumpily as he listened on.
"Do not make such a suggestion again," the deeper voice continued, "I refuse to abandon Rick's successor as it is disrespectful. He was a key element in winning the Battle of Blood Ridge and he is the reason that Bird World continues to stand at all. Do you not think that Morty might have similar potential to Rick if he is only given the chance to grow?" He paused to allow a moment of silence, hoping the seriousness of his words would sink in. "It is apparent that we need to destroy the Galactic Federation now more so than ever. Do not overlook the possibility that we may have already been provided with the solution."
"Just go get her," Squanchy grumbled through his teeth, not wanting to hear any more. "I don't know how much more of this I can squanch."
"You are welcome to leave any time. Remember that."
With that, the tall one departed and Morty was left alone again with the strange orange creature. When he saw its flicking fuzzy tail, he finally came out from his hiding place to play, having learned from experience that it was fun.
Squanchy turned sideways and made a bitter hiss, not really appreciating the gesture. However, when he heard the soft whimpers, he was quick to move back again, unwilling to argue and even feeling a little guilty over what he had just said. Having his appendages tugged on was far more tolerable than the ear-piercing squeals he'd been subjected to before.
When the feathery bird woman finally did come in through the front door of the tree house, neither her scent or familiar presence would entice the little boy to seek her out. He waited to see if anyone else would follow her inside, but when nobody did, he was upset all over again. Morty was far too young to have any conscious way of understanding what was happening and his only persistent thought was getting back to Rick; he simply didn't know why he'd been away for so long and the thought sent his mood plummeting again.
He decided it was time to give them all a crash-course in temper tantrums.
It started out as a little but determined whining noise; he'd tried it before on his parents with limited success, but he'd seen Rick do it and get what he wanted every time so it seemed like an effective strategy. The whine soon grew into a sob as he dramatically threw himself down on the floor and then it got progressively louder until he was bawling at the top of his lungs.
"Agh, that does it!" Squanchy's patience finally fractured beyond repair. "The Feds can have me! Rotting away in one of their prison cells has gotta be better than THIS squanch!" He stomped out of the room.
When he felt the strong pair of arms lift him up, Morty reacted by flailing his limbs and hitting anything he could reach, his loud nonsensical tirade vaguely resembling the word 'no' over and over again. He would not be sated this time; he was too far gone and upset.
Birdperson watched on with a vague degree of concern but did not intervene. "This has an obvious cause but no immediate answer."
"You are right. It does not," Gresharak's sad voice replied. "All you can do is let it happen until he has accepted the changes in his life. I will take care of him for a few hours to settle him down, but it will be up to you to deal with the long term adjustments."
Although Birdperson knew he was giving into Squanchy's demands, he was willing to go along with it for Morty's sake. If he could barely tolerate a few hours of screaming, he didn't know how he was going to endure years of the same.
It hadn't even been a day, and he felt like he'd already failed at what had been asked of him.
The Gromflomite presence on the way to the reactor was a lot heavier than anticipated and had to be shot at almost constantly just to get anywhere. Although Rick had correctly predicted that they would swarm the ship, it was such an obvious one that there wasn't any point in bragging about it. Instead, he was more concerned with the fact that his condition was deteriorating despite the painkiller substance he'd taken; he felt a heavy pressure building in his abdomen that he knew was definitely not supposed to be there. It was getting so bad that it constricted the capacity of his lungs, making each breath difficult and shallow.
To add insult to injury, the intense desire to drink had returned; it was so persistent that it was virtually all his brain could focus on. He did his best to suppress it all, but his slowed gait and panting were obvious enough to be picked up by the others trailing his lead.
"Holy shit, dude... we seriously need to get you outta here," Surgeon Rick moved up behind him. "I don't wanna lose another brother as it is, but Riq IV is gonna be super pissed at us if you die." He gave Rick a light shove as he stepped within his peripheral vision. "Thanks for not being dead, but you're still a piece of shit for making me think you were."
"I told you it wasn't my fault," Rick growled back. "Once this is over with, then you... y-you can do whatever you want with me. I don't care."
"Are you sure?" Ricktus spoke up from his other side. "We did that when we dragged you out here in the first place, but you weren't particularly impressed with the idea. You finally realized that I was right all along, didn't you?"
Rick stopped to glare at him. "...r-really? You're gonna do that right now?"
"I wish I'd brought my stethoscope along so I could examine you," the doctor was thinking aloud as he continued. "By the sounds of things, you're not going to last much longer."
"Phh... j-just shut up and finish what we started..." Rick resumed his pace, finding it easier to look at the video display of the datapad than at the others either side of him; he didn't particularly want to entertain thoughts of his own demise right now.
The reactor's location would have been easy to find even without a map; the distinctive smell of ozone was prominent the entire way and almost overpowering as they approached the unmarked door.
"Well, it's breathable," Rick admitted as he analyzed the air content. "But I wouldn't stay in there too long unless you like being slowly asphyxiated. I-I don't know if that's your thing, but it's certainly not mine."
"You should sit this one out, B-526." Ricktus firmly told him. "If you're having breathing difficulties now, you may very well pass out once you're inside."
"And risk you fucking up the installation process?" Rick countered. "At least give me a gun so I can shoot something. I don't wanna be stuck out here and unarmed once the Gromflomites swarm this section of the ship too."
"What a great idea... give you the chance to shoot yourself while you're unattended?" Ricktus flattened his brow as much as he could. "Better yet, you could cut off the only exit and shoot us while you're at it. Do you not see the outstanding problems here?"
"So you ARE still on that... f-fuck you." Rick grumpily shoved the handheld computer back at him as he moved past and opened the door.
The biting rush of cold air and condensed mist that billowed onto the floor around his feet caused by the sudden difference in temperature was unpleasant, but the scientist's attention was already was already drawn towards the center of the massive space ahead of them; a pillar shaped engine that towered as high as the eye could see shuddered as it struggled to keep a steady pace. With the entire ship still trapped in the loading bay of the planet-sized ship outside, the engine wanted to keep powering forward and couldn't; it kept stopping and starting and the intermittent bursts of energy being drawn from the reactor it was mounted on were slowly tearing it apart from the inside.
Rick didn't even bother waiting for the others as he crossed the scaffolding bridge towards the center of the structure. The only light source came from the pool of coolant below; even though it was easily sixty feet down, it still managed to illuminate the space in an ambient glow of cyan and light blues.
"Cover me," it was more of an order than a request. "If you're not going to give me a gun, at least hold onto the ones you have and make yourselves useful." He gritted his teeth and grunted with considerable effort as he forced himself to climb the steel lattice that made up the outside of the pillar.
"Are you sure that's wise, B-526?" Ricktus called out. "Shouldn't one of us be doing that for you?"
Rick ignored him and kept climbing. Not even a minute passed when he heard the sounds of gunfire peppering the air again and he took cover behind a solid piece of metal plating to install the detonator, figuring near enough was good enough; as much as he would have liked to get higher and deeper into the engine, it was already half-wrecked and looked ready to collapse in on itself at any given moment.
Down below, the doctor and his assistant had been keeping guard when three shadowy wingless insectoid figures appeared in the doorway. What they lacked in numbers, they made up for in sheer size; they were easily seven feet tall and their armored thoraxes were much bulkier than the other drones they had encountered thus far, making them look almost invincible. The first one had to duck as it came in with a casual stride, then opened fire with the long-barreled weapon it was holding. There were several loud metallic clatters accompanied by sparks where the projectiles struck the scaffolding; whatever the ammunition was, it sounded substantial and definitely wasn't of plasma or energy origin. The second one gave a deep throaty laugh and followed its companion inside, while the third stayed behind to fend off the hive's ongoing assault in the corridor.
Neither Ricks had time to ponder what exactly was being shot at them, nor did they seem to care; their only reaction was to shoot back and rush at them because there was nothing to hide behind. Ricktus's pet insect took to the air and began trying to furiously sting them from above.
If Rick wasn't holding onto something, he would have slapped a hand against his forehead. "Are you insane!?" He bellowed down at them, angered by the display of recklessness. "Do you WANT to die!? Because that's how you die!" He cursed to himself as he hastily ripped a piece of metal piping off the pylon and leaped from his position, landing feet first on the scaffolding bridge below with a loud thud.
Another barrage of projectile shots made a shower of sparks at his feet as he rushed the first one and smashed its head carapace in, splattering bits of exoskeleton and blood all over himself as well as the Gromflomite's co-worker. He put all his might into a second swing, but the pipe only struck armor, so he grabbed the bulky insectoid by the arm and threw it over the side of the bridge.
The move only served to aggravate the second one and it turned on the Ricks closest to it, knocking Surgeon Rick off his feet with the barrel of the weapon it was still holding. In the same movement, it balled its other clawed hand into a fist and slugged Ricktus hard in the sternum, shoving him against the bridge railing and stunning him into a mild stupor; his portal gun was dislodged from his coat pockets in the attack as well as several other small items he had been carrying. One of his curative serum vials made a pretty pink splatter as it smashed open on the ground.
"Hand over the weapon, mammals!" The massive insect demanded as it turned on the last Rick standing. "You know where it is!" It idly swatted at the angry bee still buzzing around its head.
Rick felt his breath catch in his throat and he tasted bile, yet he kept perfectly still, his attention glued to the portal gun; it lay bare and completely unguarded. Above all other objectives, he had to protect it - it was their most viable way off the ship and he simply could not let it fall into the Gromflomite's hands.
The bulky armored insect took note of where the strange little human's focus was and its mouth danglers twitched as it looked down at the curious object as well. "Is that what all the fuss is about?"
Surgeon Rick watched the standoff from his position with a great deal of concern. "What are you thinkin', bro?" He asked quietly, his voice full of trepidation. "You... you're not gonna leave us here, are ya'?"
Rick didn't answer him and threw the piece of metal piping into the distracted insect's face as he lunged forwards to snatch up the portal gun.
The surgeon could only watch on as the seemingly-crazy Rick fired a portal at the pillar several feet above and hoisted himself over the edge of the scaffold, leaping straight into the depths below. Before he could say any more, he heard the sound of another portal opening up far beneath him, and then Rick came barreling out of the first one to crash tackle the Gromflomite with all the momentum he had gathered in the descent. In another second, he had snapped its neck and held on as its lifeless body collapsed under him. Afterwards, he got to his feet and brushed himself off; the whole move had been executed with such flawless precision that Surgeon Rick wondered just how many times he had done it before.
He knew he must have looked stupid, for his charge was glaring at him again.
"Y-you... you think I'd bail on your sorry ass?" Rick actually sounded insulted. "I told you we're gonna blow this thing up, so that's what we're gonna do. Why would I change my mind now?" He paused to catch his breath, then launched into a verbal assault. "You know what you did was fucking crazy, right? What were you even thinking back there? You should have retreated, not charged in like a moron! Do you WANT them to kill you?!"
Ricktus made an uncomfortable coughing sound and rubbed his chest as he came back to his senses, though he considered himself lucky; the blow had only managed to wind him. "To be fair... we're all fucking crazy..."
A singular shot rang out from the doorway and Rick felt a sudden sharp heat lancing through his right hand - the bulky armored Gromflomite in the corridor had just shot the device straight out of his grip. It clattered onto the scaffolding, nearly ripped in half, its luminous green core completely exposed and sputtering dangerously.
"Son of a BITCH!" The scientist roared, but mostly at himself; he'd allowed himself to let his guard down and now their last functional portal gun was broken because of it. In a completely rash move that wasn't one of his smartest, he snatched it up in his good hand, set it to go off, and hurled it straight back at his attacker. Because the portal gun's containment layer had already been breached, the core became unstable and imploded, exploding a second later in a magnificent burning sphere that expanded like a small green sun, vaporizing the insect and part of the doorway with it.
As Rick clutched his hand to stop the bleeding, he watched on with a spiteful grin; at the very least it was satisfying to watch the Gromflomite die by the destruction it had just caused.
"What... w-what the hell did you do that for...?"
Rick turned his attention back towards the others; they were both staring at him with confused looks on their faces. As much as he wanted to explode in a rage, he didn't; he knew he had to remain level-headed if he wanted to keep thinking rationally.
"Don't worry about it," he tried to sound reassuring, but that was difficult when he wasn't even sure what to do himself; the last working portal gun's demise was going to make things considerably more difficult. "It would have taken too long to fix and there's gotta be other ways to get off the ship. I-in fact, why don't you pitch some ideas while I... uh..." He leaned back against the railing to rest, feeling intensely frustrated as his stomach clenched unpleasantly; getting sick again was literally the last thing he needed on top of everything else.
"Well, I suppose we can hijack a getaway vehicle like we did in the Korblock dimension, but making our way back is going to be a challenge if more of these things are coming for us." Ricktus kicked the corpse on the scaffolding just to make sure it was dead. "What are they? This one looks like a regular grunt worker on steroids."
"I-I don't know. I haven't seen anything like them before either, but I'd guess that's exactly what they are." Rick shrugged, covering for himself with a scowl. "They're probably some kinda dimensional variation, but..." He trailed off when he felt the gentle licking sensation in between his hands and looked down; the doctor's pet bee had positioned herself in front of him and was busy grooming him. "You again? Go away!"
"She's trying to heal you, Rick." Ricktus stepped in and gently pushed her aside so he could grasp the injured hand and inspect it for himself. "Interesting... this looks more like a laceration than a gunshot. It's going to need stitches but if there's a first-aid kit along the one of hallways, then either one of us can fix you up on the way back outside." Something shiny caught his eye on the ground and he bent down to carefully pick it up; it was a razor-edged disc about four inches across. "Ah, this would be your culprit. We should take it with us."
"Well, that's new to me as well." Rick stared at the projectile and frowned. "They've really thought about this... a sharp cleaver is the perfect kind of weapon to hack into fleshy meatbags with."
"No offense boss, but your escape plan? It sucks." Surgeon Rick suddenly blurted out after thinking his way through it. "Let's say you do manage to steal one of these alien bug bastard's ships. Where are you gonna go with it? That shipping dock is probably gonna be more well guarded than a teenager's dirty magazine collection by now. Hell, did you even get a good look out there? You couldn't fly anywhere even if you wanted to, it was locked down tighter than a virgin's-"
"Thank you, C-711, we get the idea." Ricktus sourly cut him off. "Do you have a better one?"
"Duh, of course I do." Surgeon Rick took out his Council-issue distress beacon to show off. "Activate this and make the assholes at the Citadel pull us outta here. This is what it's actually meant for, bro."
"Ugh, how long would it take for them to arrive...?" Rick slowly shook his head and squeezed his eyes shut, struggling to keep his mind focused. "It's a bad idea to rely on something beyond your control."
"Even if we activated all three of them at once, we could be waiting hours." Ricktus hummed in thought. "I'm not sure how they'd respond to yours going off, B-526, but the Council generally doesn't consider silver-ranked Ricks like us to be important."
"Well, that's stupid." Rick grumpily declared. "There's gotta be another way."
"Escape pod?" Surgeon Rick casually suggested.
"You'd have the same problem as stealing one of the Gromflomite's vehicles I'd expect," Ricktus quickly dismissed it. "As you said, the whole ship is stuck in their loading bay."
"N-not quite," Rick said suddenly as a thought came to mind. "The front didn't fit... it's still pointing out into space."
"Huh," Ricktus turned away from them and looked over his datapad once again. "The map is telling me that there's two escape pods in the ship's cockpit. It's only about a hundred yards from our position, but it's coming up as oxygen viable. If we can get there, it's our best option."
"You mean our only option." Surgeon Rick corrected him.
"Shut up, C-711."
Rick gave a small nod and forced himself off the scaffolding. After picking up the heavy long-barreled weapon that the overgrown Gromflomites had used on them, he slung it over his shoulder and headed for the exit. "One of you can navigate with the map," he instructed them. "But I'm keeping this... i-it's too big to shoot myself in the head with."
As he watched the other two move away, the doctor stood back, his gaze lingering on the reactor pylon; even though he'd watched Rick install the detonator for himself, seeing it up there still somehow made all it feel real and final.
Fleur followed her master's gaze upwards, though if she had any of her own reservations about what was happening to her hive, she certainly wasn't voicing them; her collar was silent and her expression was as vacant as ever. One could only guess what was going on in her buggy mind.
Heading towards the cockpit looked simple enough on the map, but the way there ended up being navigated by the doctor's pet bee. Because the ship's chassis had been so badly crushed in the loading bay's airlock, most of the journey involved crawling through the twisted wreckage and into maintenance shafts on their hands and knees. The lights above flickered and created an erratic display of light and dark and although the cramped space was far from ideal, at least the amount of debris all around them provided good cover.
Ahead of their position, a large patrol of Gromflomite drones frantically paced in the more intact part of the corridor and almost looking like they were lost. Some of them held small devices which they used to scan their surroundings with, but it didn't seem to calm them at all.
"Aww shit, bro... check it out. There's far too many of them for us to just run in there," Surgeon Rick noted in a low voice. "And it looks like they're tracking us. It's only a matter of time before they find out where we are."
"T-they can try..." Rick wheezed as he squashed himself flat against the ground and attentively watched the way ahead. "They have no idea we're here and still don't know what they're looking for. You can use it to your advantage."
"How?" Surgeon Rick whispered back. "Because this looks like a whole lot of 'screwed' to me."
"Look, you can hang back here if you want, but what's that gonna do for yo-" Rick suppressed a sudden cough with great difficulty, but somehow managed to keep quiet. "Sometimes you gotta take risks if you wanna come out on top. If you don't do that right now, you're literally gonna die, so... s-stop... stop being so goddamn cautious of everything, it's not doing you any favors. It's also getting frickin' annoying."
"Thanks for putting that into perspective..." Surgeon Rick grumbled back.
"I-I'm being serious," Rick positioned the long-barreled gun in front of him and aimed it towards the crowd. "Why would you come this far to stop now? And you complain that I don't make sense..."
Ricktus was staring at the scientist now. "Wait, what are you doing?"
"Getting the drop on them," Rick's answer was firm and without a hint of hesitation. "Get behind me and follow my lead if you want to live." With his still bleeding hand firmly planted on the barrel and the other gripping the handle, he pulled the trigger and unleashed a torrent of razor-edged projectiles straight into the corridor.
The reply was an immediate chorus of screams, panic, and disarray as the Gromflomite drone were shredded alive; they were completely unprepared for the attack and had nowhere to run. Rick stopped only for a second to let the weapon cool down, then fired another round with a satisfied smirk plastered across his face; ripping them apart so easily almost made up for how terrible he was feeling and he couldn't help the dark chuckle that escaped him.
Surgeon Rick gave his boss a nervous sideways glance. "Uh... is this healthy?"
Ricktus was more intrigued above anything else as he retreated back into the shadows of their hiding place. "Who cares? I want to see where this goes."
Rick made quick work of the drones and thinned out their numbers considerably. However, when the explosion of sparks landed mere inches away from his face, he was quick to retreat as well; he hadn't seen the overgrown brutes among the crowd, but it didn't surprise him to encounter more of them. After positioning himself back in the more cramped space, he positioned the oversized gun as best as he could and fired another round at their chests, but they were unfazed and the shots didn't even put a scratch on them.
The space was far too confined to get a better shot at their heads.
"Well shit, I-I need another angle." He hissed through gritted teeth. "Maybe we... we can get around them. What does the map say?"
Ricktus's scowling face was lit up by the glow of the datapad as he looked at it in the dim light. "Unfortunately, this was the most direct route. Considering the amount of detours we had to take to get here in the first place, you probably wouldn't find another way around. It's this or nothing. You're going to have take them out or go through them. You're smart enough to work this one out, aren't you?"
Rick made his frustration known with a loud growl in the back of his throat and he slammed a fist down on the ground beside him.
"Let me help you, maker," Fleur's collar suddenly buzzed. "They'll take many of us down before it's finished, but I can get you through."
The doctor blinked at her. "How?"
Without another word, the insect scuttled off into the darkness. The sound of claws hurriedly scraping across metal could be heard in the pipes beside them, above them, and then finally in front of them. Not even a minute passed before the sound of angry buzzing came in from other parts of the ship, and then a large cluster of the local hive population descended onto the Gromflomites in the open space, attacking them in a sudden fury as if of one mind.
"Holy shit," Surgeon Rick peered around his dimensional counterparts to get a better look. "Has the Council ever thought to weaponize these too?"
"They could if they wanted to. I DID have a healthy population of them before all this started." Ricktus growled bitterly. "Note that I'm speaking in past tense, because you're about to blow them all up!"
"Shut up!" Rick chastised them, then sharply shoved the surgeon in the shoulder. "You, go first. Run into the cockpit while they're distracted... y-you'll probably make it if you keep your head down."
"Aww hell no, dude!" Surgeon Rick protested. "You want me to just waltz into that crazy-ass shit!?"
"Remember how I said not to be cautious? Well, now's the time." The scientist sat up and cocked the long-barreled gun in both hands. "Shut up and don't think about it, we don't have any other choice here. I-I'll be right behind you... you'll be fine."
Surgeon Rick made a loud apprehensive sound and his mouth set in a hard line. With both hands gripped tight on his plasma blaster, he scooted out of the hole and half-dashed, half-limped through the fray. It only took him a few seconds to make the distance to the cockpit, and then he hid around the corner of the doorway once he was inside.
"Good. You next," Rick poked Ricktus in the side with the butt of the gun. "S-same deal. Remember that you can actually run with those dumb upgrades I made to your augmentation, so you can thank me later."
"What about you?" Ricktus asked him. "Don't tell me you can run in that state. You should give the gun to me and go next."
"Hah, yeah right. And have you losing your nerve like you did in the nightclub?" Rick gave him a short humorless chuckle. "I-if you're still worried I'm going to kill you, I probably wouldn't be able to shoot you once you're in the middle of that mess out there... there's gonna be too much other shit moving around for me to hit you properly."
Ricktus moved to stand within his personal space and his voice became low and threatening. "Don't think that's over with. You're going to be in SO much trouble once we're back in the Citadel."
"If we get there. You gotta blow this up first." Rick took the remote device out of his pocket and shoved it into the doctor's nearest hand. "Now get outta here, I-I'm sick of listening to you."
Ricktus made an unintelligible grumble as he turned away and peered out of their hiding place. His posture was tense as he shuffled to the end, and then he sat back to wait for a good opportunity to run in. Ahead of him, five of his hybrid-insects had dog-piled one of the overgrown Gromflomites and pinned it to the ground while they tried to chew into its armored hide with their mandibles. Another of the brutes made deep angry noises as it pulverized anything that dared to come close.
With all the chaos before him, the doctor was an equal mix of nervous and hesitant; his heart pounded in his chest and he clasped his hands in one another to hide the fact they were already trembling. He tried to hold himself together, but he could already feel his mind starting to slip again. At precisely the wrong moment, he sprang off his position and made a break for it, running straight into the pathway of heavy projectile fire.
Rick angrily threw the gun aside. "What the FUCK are you doing?! Fall back!" He rushed out from the hole and lunged for the doctor's legs, aggressively pulling them out from under him. In the same instant the Gromflomite's gun sounded, he felt a sudden unbearable pressure shredding into his side like a white hot poker and he hit the deck with a loud thud. He knew it would have hurt so much more if he wasn't drugged up on painkillers, but he could already feel the blood flowing out of him and he yelled as he clutched his side in the attempt to make it stop.
He knew he was going regret staying back to help from the very beginning, and now there it was.
Ricktus dumbly stared ahead, his mind trying to catch up with what was happening; in one second he was running, and then he was on the ground in the next. The only thing that brought him around was the loud cry directly behind him, and at once he knew the worst had happened.
"You fuckin' IDIOTS!" Surgeon Rick roared; he had been closely watching, but the sight made him abandon his hiding place to dash over to them. "Get the fuck up and help me haul his ass up here!" He kept his posture low as he grabbed an arm and dragged the shuddering body back towards the doorway.
The smell of blood provoked a defensive instinctive response in some nearby members of the hive, including the doctor's pet bee. They abandoned their attack to pounce on the scientist and once on top of him, they used themselves as a protective shield while they regurgitated long strings of syrup straight into his open wound.
"Oh gross, that's disgusting!" Surgeon Rick smacked one of them away and glared at his boss. "Don't just sit there. Do something, bro!"
Ricktus wanted to say something, but his more pressing thought was about getting to safety and grabbing a leg to help his assistant was the fastest way there. After hauling their charge into the cockpit, he gently pushed the insect hybrids aside and laid him out on the floor; there was already so much blood that his clothes were soaking wet and clinging to him. "This is bad..."
"Yeah, no shit!" Surgeon Rick's reply was charged and bitter. "Fuckin' dumbass! Why'd he have to go and do something like that?!"
The doctor ignored him and pried up the bottom of Rick's shirt to evaluate the severity of the injury. He'd seen a lot of things in his time, but he was still not prepared for what he found underneath. "Fuck... find something we can patch this up with! NOW!" he demanded with sudden harshness in his voice.
Surgeon opened his mouth to protest but quickly shut it again; all it took was one look and he understood how dire the situation was as well. Even through the mess of blood and syrup coagulating in the wound, he could clearly see that Rick was torn open from flank to belly; exposed cracked ribs, a punctured stomach, and a lacerated grey liver peppered with pink crystals were visible among the viscera and he knew that he would not live much longer in that state.
He was completely silent as he turned away to rummage through the cockpit, his mind fixated on the last observation; in all his years of practicing surgery, he'd never seen anything like it. Whatever it was, he was certain that it had to be one the reasons that Rick had gotten sick in the first place.
After locating a box of medical supplies under the driver's console, the surgeon threw it towards his boss and moved back over to assist him. "Dude, you gotta get him back to the Citadel and blow this popsicle stand already!"
As Ricktus pinned down his charge and packed the wound, his mind was torn; Rick had absolutely nothing to gain from pushing him out of harm's way, yet he'd still willingly done so anyway at great cost to himself.
Unless he got him to safety soon, he'd surely bleed out and die.
The doctor was silent through the bandaging process and even somewhat hesitant as he transferred Rick into the escape pod; even an idiot could see that the ship was lost. As much as he still wanted to save it, he knew that their survival was far more important than any of his personal goals. With great reluctance, he took the small activator device out of his pocket and depressed the button.
Nothing happened.
The countdown delay timer didn't even start - it was completely dead.
"Huh?" He pressed it twice more but received the same result, so he turned it over and tried to work out why it was unresponsive. "Your stupid remote is broken!" He held it over Rick's head. "How do I fix it!?"
"I-I... I rushed it," Rick's answer was tinged with regret; there was always risk involved between doing something quickly and doing it well, and now it was likely to be his undoing. He tried focus his eyes but couldn't; he was shivering and his body had already gone into shock. "O-open it and check the contacts... s-shit... s-so fucking stupid..."
"Check WHAT?" Ricktus yelled at him. "Tell me what to do!"
Rick made a low frustrated sound; he knew what he wanted to say but couldn't form the words. He made a feeble attempt to sit up, but he felt a sudden yet gentle pressure on his shoulders pinning him down again.
"Don't move, bro," he heard Surgeon Rick's voice instruct him overhead. "You don't wanna aggravate your injuries."
There was a loud bang as a stray razor-edged shot hit the cockpit's doorway, and the insect screams that accompanied it made the situation outside clear; the bee-hybrids were finally being overpowered and on the verge of losing the fight.
"So... that's it then, is it?" Ricktus sank in his posture and lowered his head, his arms falling to his sides; there was literally nothing else he could think of to do. "This is how we die... I-I failed again..." Just as he began conceding to defeat, he felt a sharp nip on his hand and he looked up to witness his pet bee snatch up the remote in her jaws. "Fleur, what are you doing?"
"Given that nothing means anything, what does it matter?" The bee's collar crackled as her antennae flicked high over her head. "I know what you want, maker. I also know where you buried the starter. Let me do it for you."
"Wait, you want to trigger the explosion?" The doctor put a hand to his head and shook it, not believing what he was hearing. "N-no way, Fleur! You're coming with us. You're mine, and you're one of the only decent things to come out of this whole mess..."
"No," the translation was firm. "If everything only exists to die, then let me bring about our invader's demise faster. I've been here since it began, now let me end it."
"No!" Ricktus made a grab for one of her front limbs. "There's more than enough room for you in here, y-you'd be insane!"
"Let me do this for you, maker," the insect took three steps backwards and moved out of his reach. "Let me prolong your uselessness."
"Don't do it, Fleur," the doctor's voice was almost pleading now. "You can't come back from something like that... you'd be the first to die!"
"I didn't ask to be born."
"Wow," Surgeon Rick sounded impressed as he added to the conversation. "That bug's gone full nihilist on you, bro."
"You can create something like me again," Fleur continued as she blankly stared back at her master. "But next time, make sure you give my successor the ability to speak like you because this is itchy and inconvenient." She indicated to the collar with the top hinge of her left scythe claw and casually scratched at her thorax with a hind leg. "Don't be a dick." Without waiting for a reply, she tilted her head up and swallowed the remote activation device in one gulp, then bounded back into the fray and flew down the maintenance shaft they had used to get there in the first place.
She did not look back.
As Ricktus watched her go, he had a sinking feeling of hopelessness; he'd given his own creation a part of his mind and it had chosen to die over saving itself. He supposed he should have expected it.
"Come on," Surgeon Rick moved up behind him and gently tugged his arm to pull him away from the door. "I-it's done for. Let's get outta here already." After double checking the escape pod to make sure all three of them were safely inside, he smacked the launch button with the palm of his hand.
Everything happened quickly after that; the doors slammed shut with a loud clang, and then there was a singular muffled thump along with a sharp feeling of acceleration as the pod forcefully launched itself into deep space. While the domed glass ceiling offered a fantastic view, the lack of gravity put the less injured occupants back into clinical mode and they carefully hauled their charge onto the only bunk in the enclosed tight space, strapping him down he couldn't drift around.
After it was done with, Surgeon Rick seated himself on the floor beside it to keep a watchful eye on him. "So..." He offered, not really knowing what to say. "I guess we hang out here until they come pick us up, huh?" He took out his Council-issue distress beacon and activated it in the awkward silence that followed. After watching his boss do the same, he idly stared up into the blackness above.
Ricktus sat next to him with a deep sigh. He drew his knees up to his chest and rested his forehead on them, not saying anything; he didn't want to talk. He didn't want to do anything. All he could think about was all that he'd lost, and that everything was about to be be taken away from him yet again.
"I get it, you know. You're sad. I would be too." Surgeon Rick noted his silence and continued. "I mean sure, you're gonna lose a whole year of research, your colony of weird bee things, and all that serum shit we worked towards for the Council, but everything's gonna be OK, right?" His expression became discontent. "And now you got the awkward business of what to do with your guy here. I-I mean, you locked him up and accused him of murder, and yet he stayed behind and saved your dumb ass. That could be you lying back there."
"Thank you, C-711," the doctor returned with a weary voice. "Please shut up."
"I guess we're both unemployed now, huh? And homeless. I'm really gonna miss our ball pit." The surgeon's eyes suddenly widened in realization of something he'd forgotten and he placed a bloodied hand over his forehead. "I never got the chance to take all those photos off my wall... damn it!"
"Y-you... you're not homeless," the weak shaky voice behind them spoke, "I-I still got that s-s... set of keys from that pointy-haired idiot in charge of the f-fake hierarchy... t-they're for accommodation. You... y-you keep them."
"Dude! Don't talk, OK?" Surgeon Rick turned around to glare at him. "Don't move either. Do you wanna bleed out faster?"
"L-let's be honest... w-when am I ever gonna go back there?" Rick let out a soft laugh; he had come close to death more times than he could count, but he'd never expected it to come like this. He was so cold, but a strange sense of peaceful calm had come over him. As long as Morty was in safe hands, he had no regrets; he was genuinely accepting of his slowly waning consciousness and the concept of dying. Being stranded in the depths of space was certainly a fitting place for it too; although he'd gotten used to it a long time ago, a part of him had never really gotten tired of seeing it. "I-I'm not gonna be going anywhere much longer..."
"Dude, don't say that shit!" Surgeon Rick's tone was a sharp warning now. "You're gonna be fine. We can fix this!"
A brilliant flash of white light lit up the escape pod's viewing window; the doctor's pet bee had obviously done her final job loyally and set off the detonator. The chain reaction had been started.
In the distance, the derelict ship's cold fusion reactor destabilized and caused it to go critical. Giant arcs of burning energy ripped open the bottom half of the planet-sized vessel while clouds of verdant iridescence blossomed from the gaping hole as the hive's fuel source and resident population ignited in the heat. Angry rivulets of red and orange soon accompanied them as the methane and oxygen atmospheres of both ships caught alight.
With the amount of energy being released in the explosive display, there was another sudden flash of blinding white as the Gromflomite ship's vitrification beam activated at point blank range and glassed itself from the inside. Millions of shards were thrown into the surrounding space, glinting among the colorful fiery clouds like tiny crystals.
Even though his vision was failing him, Rick was still able to watch and appreciate the results of his work. While he knew it wasn't his dimension, he still felt a vague sense of satisfaction over giving the Gromflomites exactly what they deserved. "S-see... see that?" He mumbled to nobody in particular. "T-that's only a warm up f-for what I'm going to do to them back home..."
"Holy shit," Surgeon Rick whistled impressively. "A tiny portal core caused all that?"
"Y-yep..." Although Rick struggled with the answer, he still sounded proud. "Whole thing was a giant fire hazard j-just waiting to-" his words were cut short by a cough which caused him to flinch; the painkiller substance he'd been given was starting to wear off. He knew he'd be so much worse off when it finally did.
Ricktus jumped in surprise as the phone function of his datapad buzzed in his pocket. After sitting up properly, he pulled it out and set it on speakerphone so all the occupants on board could hear. "Well, that was fast. Is this about the distress beacons? Because we need immediate evac. We're on an escape pod with no way out and have a casualty on board with life-threatening injuries."
"Uh, not really my department, buddy. This is Lab Rick D-69 from the Citadel. I'm calling about the biological specimens you shipped here for processing," the irritated voice on the other end of the line obviously had no idea what he had dialed in on. "If you got anything stupid to say about my dimension number, I'm hanging up on you."
"What? I didn't send any specimens to the lab." Ricktus cast a sudden accusatory glare at his assistant. "What did you do now?"
Surgeon Rick bit his lower lip but attentively stared back; he knew he was probably about to be in even more trouble, but he was genuinely eager to hear the result. "Yeah, that was me. Go on."
"Make up your damn mind!" The Rick clearly couldn't tell any difference between the two and was fast becoming impatient. "There's only one Rick Q-316 cited on my documentation and it's got your signature all over it. I'm looking at blood and bone marrow samples here but they appear to be contaminated. Were you snorting k-lax when you collected them?"
"No!" Surgeon Rick immediately retorted; as much as it sounded like something he would have done previously in his lifetime, it certainly wasn't the case now. "I did everything like I was supposed to."
"Holy shit," there was a brief silence. "If that Rick you took them from is still alive, then you gotta get 'em into the Citadel infirmary as soon as possible."
"I would very much like to!" Ricktus snapped back, exasperated. "But we're still stuck in the middle of space and he's the damn casualty!"
"Yeah, yeah, I'm on it," the Lab Rick grumbled. "I'll dispatch someone to your location."
"So what did you find?" Surgeon Rick asked, his mind thinking hard; the vague description that had been given already matched what he'd discovered for himself.
However, there was no answer. The Lab Rick from the Citadel had already hung up on them.
"I can't believe you went behind my back." Ricktus huffed, though it was yet another thing he supposed he should have expected. "Have you been conspiring against me the whole time?"
"No way, bro!" Surgeon Rick yelped. "I didn't do it to betray you. Look, I'd be lying if I said I didn't think about it, but you weren't listening to me and I was just trying to stop you from making another huge mistake. Besides, I forged your signature and put everything under your name, so if the lab makes any new discoveries you're gonna get all the credit." He folded his arms across his chest. "You're welcome, by the way."
The doctor rested his head back down on his knees and was silent again.
Outside, the series of explosions had an undesirable effect; the smaller ship had fused into the larger one, while the cold fusion reactor had overheated and caused a thermonuclear meltdown. The amount of heat it threw out warmed the side of the escape pod that was facing towards it, while the domed viewing window was splattered with superheated glass.
"O-OK, we... w-we gotta get out of here," Rick forced the words out in between pained uneven breaths, having decided that he'd finally had enough. "I-if you spend enough time exposed to a nuclear explosion, y-you... you're actually gonna get radiation poisoning for r-real, so..." Using the last ounces of his strength, he sifted through his lab coat pockets. After finding Rick C-139's portal gun, he let it slip from his fingers and drop onto the floor.
"Didn't you hear? The Citadel is sending someone to pick us up." Ricktus tried to assure him. "They'll be here as soon as..." He trailed off as his attention fell on the dead device. "You insufferable bastard! Have you had that with you the WHOLE time? Why didn't you just use it to get us out of here sooner?!"
"B-because... I-I wanted to see the explosion..." Rick admitted as he turned his head towards him with half-lidded unfocused eyes. "A-always have a backup plan... r-remember?"
"You goddamned idiot!" The doctor's left eyebrow twitched and he rose to his feet to stand over his charge, his anger boiling over. "You put all of us at risk because YOU wanted to see an explosion!? Do you have ANY conceivable idea of just how monumentally stupid that is!?" He took a deep breath and checked the device over, but what he discovered sent him into another rage. "It's flat, you moron!"
"Y-yeah, pity," Rick's weak response was accompanied by a barely audible laugh. "But you're smart... y-you'll... f... f-figure it out..." He closed his eyes again and finally yielded to the cold blanket of darkness closing in on him.
Despite barely being able to contain himself, Ricktus emptied out his pockets and sat cross-legged on the floor again; Rick's words had merit and he knew he would not last much longer. Within the minute, he had ripped the battery out of his datapad and wired it up to the portal gun.
The green plasma sphere silently rose to the center of the bulb.
"You know," After punching in the co-ordinates to the Citadel and firing a portal at the space in front of him, the doctor turned towards his assistant with a grim expression; on top of the great sense of loss he felt, he was tired and completely worn down. "We're both probably going to get our asses kicked for this."
"You mean worse than we did now?" Surgeon Rick countered. "Please... Riq IV doesn't bother me. What could be possibly worse than putting up with you?"
Ricktus did not have an answer. Instead, he and his assistant silently dragged their casualty through the open portal, leaving both the escape pod and the carnage behind in Dimension Q-316.
The wreckage of the two ships continued to burn until they were nothing more than radioactive molten slag and glass. There would not be a single survivor on either vessel; the hybrid-insect hive would die, but so would the entire Gromflomite population and there wouldn't even be remnants left of them to speak of.
Although a total loss, one thing the Ricks had set out to achieve was now complete; the knowledge of the ship's location and all of its sensitive data would burn and die along with everything else.
