Prompt 9-Death

His family made excuses for his mother's absence, cautiously dancing around the truth. It was as if they thought he wouldn't notice she was gone.

My laptop was taken away from me on Thursday and I no longer have regular access to a computer that works. It takes 40 minutes to walk to the library (the closest computer) and it's been hitting 40 degrees lately so it's really hot to walk.

Please bear with me as I save up for a new laptop, after which updates will become regular once more xx


They didn't explain death to him the first time it happened. He assumed it had something to do with the fact that he was only 8 and the concept of 'gone forever' wasn't an easy one to grasp. His family made excuses for his mother's absence, cautiously dancing around the truth. It was as if they thought he wouldn't notice she was gone. As if he wouldn't notice the depression that surrounded the house that made it hard to breathe. As if he wouldn't notice that it had been six months since he'd heard from her and she'd never been gone that long without calling. As if he wouldn't notice his father shutting him out, barely even looking at him. As if he wouldn't notice the flowers and cards that spoke of condolences that decorated the lobby of their home, wilting when no one bothered to water them. As if he wouldn't notice the large family portrait being painted over, his mother being slowly erased from the painting just as she had been erased from his life. Effortlessly, simply, cleanly. Erased. Gone.

He missed her but he held on to the hope of a reunion, the memories of her kept him from sinking into the ever present pit of despair and agony. It stalked him, the pit. Always two steps behind, never quite touching him, never quite close enough to swallow him whole until, he was mature enough to understand. It had been an awful revelation. He would never see his mother again, she would never smile again, never laugh again, never breathe again. It was the same night the pit devoured him that he discovered the ring in her possessions. Silver with a plain face, too large and clunky to be valuable so he doubted anyone would miss it if he took it. Besides, she had left everything to him and his father anyway, surely his father, as cold and cruel as he was, would not begrudge him a small memento? The ring and its accompanying perks eased the loneliness he had felt since her death. His love and adoration for his mother had been reborn into a new type of love, and before he realised, the new kind of affection had blossomed into something deeper, something irreplaceable. Within his new partner lay the foundation for something much stronger that he could use to pave the way to healing in the place of the lame excuses and half-truths that adults favoured.

No one made excuses for the absence the second time death happened. No one told him that he would never see her again, but even if they had, he wouldn't have believed them. No one told him that she was gone forever because he was expected to know. But even at the age of 18 the concept of death was difficult to comprehend. She had been so full of love and warmth and life right up until her final moment that he often found himself glancing at the classroom door waiting for her to sneak in quietly, a sheepish grin on her face, flour or charcoal smudged on her cheek. On Saturdays, he passed by the bakery, the French flag always at half-mast, the bell cheerfully announcing the arrival of customers, oblivious to the missing occupant of the house above. On Sundays he would lie face up on his bed, staring at the blank ceiling, letting his grief consume him entirely. He could not be prompted to move by anyone and his friend had long since stopped visiting in hopes of seeing a change in him. He hadn't spoken since her death and his entire being was on auto pilot. Several psychologists had been hired to 'fix' him. But he knew he was irreparable.

He was never confident in himself unless he was hidden behind his mask, but his hesitation to confess his love to her left his heart in pieces and he wished he could make her see that he was in fact, seriously in love with her. He hated that he was hesitant, and he hated that he wasn't able to be self-assured enough within himself to admit his feelings. His hesitance had cost her dearly.

He loathed himself, he truly did. Despite constant reassurances that there was nothing more he could have done and that he did all he could, he couldn't help but think about the 'what if's'

His consciousness was forever stuck in the moment of her fall, desperately looking for an out, a way to save her. Mid-fall, her transformation had worn off and in that instant she had been exposed to him and all of Paris. The shy, pretty, kind girl who sat behind him in class was his Lady. His confident, beautiful, kind, strong independent Lady and though the differences were immeasurable he didn't question it. He'd had his doubts for months and all the pieces had fallen into place so perfectly but he'd hesitated. Not for long, but enough. His surprise had made him falter and his hesitation was the opening Death was looking for. Her name ripped from his throat as her body cracked onto the pavement sickeningly, the ground was stained red instantly, and the rain pouring down so forcefully that her blood was washed away and without the red she looked almost peaceful. Like she was still alive. Her friend had screamed and run to her friend's body, casting her phone aside so forcefully that it shattered like her body but he had been frozen in place. The murderous, accusing screams reached him; cries of 'you could have saved her' and 'you didn't save her' propelled him forwards. His transformation wore off as he sunk to his knees beside the girl who was cradling her friend's broken body in her arms, rocking back and forth, crying, screaming pleas in a heartbreaking mix of Spanish and French to whatever Gods were listening to please, please, bring her friend back. But no one was listening.


Ow. I think I made myself sad.

Not my best but I was dealing with too many feels at the time of writing.

Please leave a review for me xx

Prompt 10-Opportunites